Work Text:
<TheMostMayo> STOP
Stop trying to make me leave.
<d3rlord3> Avery
You’re going to ruin it ALL.
You dont know what youer doing.
<TheMostMayo> Let me help you
<d3rlord3> You can’t
It’s not worth it
<TheMostMayo> No no wait
Irl
Send me your address
<d3rlord3> No
<TheMostMayo> Yes
What do you have to loose?
<d3rlord3> You.
Theress still you. There’s always you.
<TheMostMayo> I’m not leaving unless you tell me. Tell me then I’ll leave.
I’ll leave the world. I’ll delete Minecraft.
Please.
I’ll smash the laptop
Avery stares at the screens, violently blinking away tears.
And, two hours away, Derek stares back at the screen. His eyes burn and water. He knows Avery isn’t lying and he hates it. It makes his stomach churn. He thinks of vomiting on his keyboard, unable to move away or clean it (or himself) up.
Derek takes a deep breath and his fingers move on his keyboard once more.
<d3rlord3> There’s no other wa y???
He knows there’s not. He knows Avery won’t leave unless this happens. Thousands, millions of scenarios flash through his head, he cries out in his pain. He knows. Maybe he’s wrong?
<TheMostMayo> No
Of course he’s not.
He sends the address, Avery repeats it back to him in chat. Then he leaves.
Derek does not move.
******
Avery scrambles up from his computer, hardly taking time to grab a sticky note and scribble the address down. He stares at it for less than a moment, repeating the numbers in his head, the letters of the street. He would memorize if he needed to. If this was the 1900’s and there were no cell phones he would memorize each number and letter and search the entire world to find d3rlord3. Derek.
“Derek.” Avery says it to the silence of his apartment. He grabs the sticky note and his phone, shakey hands mess up his password twice before successfully opening it. GPS is opened and the address is punched into it. He rechecks it once, then twice, then one more time because he can’t be too sure and then he leaves. He thinks of grabbing food, medicine, anything for d3rlord3 but decides against it safe for a few bottles of water.
Avery decides needs to get to him first, then he can get food, he’ll even ask what he prefers. He runs down the stairs of his apartment and out the door, nearly colliding with a mother holding her young child on the way down. He yells out an apology and makes a mental note to gift her cookies or something when he has the time.
In the car Avery thinks of the mother, of why, at so late at night, she was in the hall. Sure, New Year's Eve’s, it makes sense. But when he checks the time it’s only 10:24. There’s still well over an hour before midnight.
He doesn’t dwell on it, the rest of the two hour drive is spent thinking about d3rlord3 and worrying about what to do once he gets there.
******
It’s a new year by the time Avery knocks on the door of d3rlord3’s house. It is a house, not an apartment which is.. more then he expected. It’s small, slightly run down and in a nice enough looking suburb.
It’s silent inside, there’s no response to his knock. He frowns. God- obviously he wouldn’t open the door. No, Avery needs to find a way in.
He’d pick the lock here, he knows there’s a hair pin in his pocket. But what if someone sees him.. he can’t have himself getting the cops called here. What if they tore Derek away from his computer? None of this makes sense they can’t- they couldn’t.
Luckily, Avery finds the back door easily. There’s two small clicks. And the door opens.
He looks around the small house, it’s clean, safe for some old food on the counter. Flies buzz around it and Avery looks away.
A sound, almost a cry, hardly a yell, comes from down a hallway, at the end there’s a closed door. Behind it there’s static, an odd, high pitched ringing.
“Derek?” Avery’s voice is quieter now. He’s scared.
There’s silence for a moment. “Avery?” A raspy voice calls out. He sounds desperate. Avery shudders at the tone.
Avery wants to leave. He doesn’t want to be caught up in all of this. He doesn’t want any of this to be happening. He wants to meet Derek in a normal way friends do, meet up halfway, go get lunch or something.
It’s a frightening realization.
He opens the door before letting himself think about the thought and the static grows louder.
Derek stiffens as the door slams open, hitting the wall with a chokingly loud crash. His head twitches, body turns his he doesn’t let himself look away from the computer.
“Avery.” He exhales, like a sigh of fresh air, a gasp after coming up from air. Avery. It fills the air. You’re here, of course you are. Why did it take you so long?
Avery lets himself relax at the word, let it swirl around him and unstiffen his back, lets it relax his shoulders. “Derek..” He walks forward slowly, cringing at every creak in the worn floorboards.
Derek flinches hard as Avery puts a hand on his shoulder. Neither of them speak. Derek doesn’t look away from the computer,of course. He’s different then Avery expected, kind of scrawny, his hair is tied up.
He’s handsome. Avery realizes. He’d be even better if he were- not to say he looks ugly now- but if he were in a better state. His dark skin is hardly illuminated by the computer, only his face being fully lit. His eyes are yellow in the middle and Avery is scared to ask if that’s how they’ve always been. His black hair is in long locs and he’s wearing a white tank top, plaid pajama pants. He’s trembling even while sitting.
“You came.” He says, hand twitching away from the keyboard.
“That I did.” Avery breathes. “You’re real.”
“For now.” Derek laughs dryly. Avery nods, then remembers Derek can’t look to see the movement and he hums in acknowledgment. It’s quiet for an awkward moment. Avery doesn’t know what to do, what to say.
“I brought you water.” He grabs Derek’s hand and pushes the bottle into it, cap already off. Derek lifts it to his lips and drinks.
It’s unnerving to watch, the way Derek’s eyes stay glued to the screen, the way his hand shakes as he lifts it to his mouth. His eyes are red at the corners.
“Avery-“ Derek gasps, putting the water down and reaching a hand out. “Thank you.” Avery grabs his hand, Derek’s skin is starkly cold against Avery’s. Actually.. Now that he realizes, the whole room is cold. He frowns, imagining Derek shivering at this very desk, unable to grab a blanket or make himself something warm to eat.
“I don’t know what to do.” Avery frowns, shrinking to the floor. The awkwardness from earlier has faded quickly. The only oddness left is knowing Derek knows everything about Avery, everything ever. Things he’s forgotten. It’s an odd, uncomfortable feeling that has settled deep under his skin and into the cracks and edges on his bones. “What’s that static? I don’t.. I don’t know what’s happening.”
“I don’t know- my computer just started making that sound.. but, The king is currently merging with me? It sounds funny but there’s a.. ritual that you have to speak. It needs a clean mind.. mine isn’t, obviously.”
Derek says, eerily calm. “I don’t know what will happen after, I might die. I might not. I’m not asking you to watch me die, you can leave and I’ll understand.” Avery opens his mouth to speak, Derek interrupts, eyebrows furrowing at the screen. “If I live I don’t know what will happen to me. I hope I’ll be able to look away.” His voice drops. “I want to see you, maybe it’ll be worth the pain.”
“I.. wouldn’t.” Avery shakes his head and moves to rest his cheek against the cold wood of the tables leg.
“I don’t want you to watch me die.” Then, quieter. “I don’t want to die.”
“Maybe you won’t.” Avery suggests, looking up at Derek, his eyes are wet. “I’m not going to leave you.”
Derek nods. “I know. Distract me, Avery?”
“Uh, okay, yeah.” Avery nods, looking up at Derek. He repeats the name a few times in his head, Derek, Derek, Derek. He doesn’t want to accidentally call him by his gamer tag.. Avery cringes thinking of meeting old online friends and doing just that.
Oh- shit he’s been quiet for too long.
….. “How am I supposed to entertain the man who knows everything?”
“Describe how you look, since I can’t look to see myself.” Derek laughs, it’s soft and pleasant to listen to. If only in a better setting.
“Don’t you already know?” Avery sighs, already decided anything he says won’t be helpful. Idiot.
“I want to hear it in your own words.” Avery can hear the smile in Derek’s voice. This has to be a ploy too- wouldn’t he know that as well? Wouldn’t he know how Avery would describe himself both on a good and bad day? Wouldn’t he know how he would’ve described himself the first time he looked in the mirror and saw a boy looking back? Wouldn’t Derek know how Avery would describe his appearance on his worst days where he can’t bear to change out of his pajamas, on days where it doesn’t matter because no one is asking to see him anyways.
“I have dark brown hair.” Avery begins with, ignoring the quiver in his voice. “My skin- uh. I’m Hispanic.
My hair is kinda.. grown out, I was gonna get it cut before new year.”
“What about your eyes?” There’s a hint of desperation in Derek’s voice. Avery doesn’t look up, instead his gaze stays fixed on the ground.
“They’re brown.. kinda shit colored.”
Derek laughs, sharp and sudden and so loud it fills the entire room and, for a moment, floods out the static. “They’re pretty.” Derek says and Avery hates the red that burns at his cheeks and he hates that Derek just knows. “Knowing is different from seeing.”
Avery shivers.
“My wallet is on the counter in the kitchen. Will- can you order pizza.” Derek’s voice comes out as a plea. “Google the place closest to here, they always deliver late.”
“Uh-huh.” Avery nods, still slightly dazed. “Yeah, what do you want on it?” This feels like their 100th hangout, this feels like Avery should know his order then they’ll sit down and watch a show they’ve been binging together. It’s all too domestic for the actual severity of the situation.
“Same things you want.” Derek’s hand finds Avery’s head, then shoulder. Avery reaches up and interlocks their fingers. They stay like that for a soft moment, before Avery has to stand.
As Avery reaches the doorway he glances back, the thought of leaving Derek alone even for a moment making his stomach churn.
“Don’t-“ Avery gasps, stumbling back to where Derek sits. He falls back to the ground, forehead resting against Derek’s knees. “Don’t do anything while I’m gone.”
Derek stiffens as Avery touches him, then softens, at just the slightest touch. “I won’t. But please, I’m starving.”
“Of course.” He rises quickly and runs away, suddenly embarrassed.
The pizza comes strangely quickly for it being.. nearly four am. Avery shudders as he looks at the clock. Avery serves nearly half of it on a plate to Derek.
Pineapple and pepperoni, he stares at it. Anyone else would have shamed him for his order- the whole ‘ohh pineapple is gross on pizza!’ He used to get genuinely bullied for it. Derek doesn’t seem to mind though, even if it is just because he was previously starving. They eat in silence, Avery sits on his spot on the floor near Derek’s feet and Derek stares forward mindlessly. Avery thinks he cries at some point. He doesn’t ask.
“You can sleep in the bed if you’d like.” Derek says after he’s successfully eaten half the pizza. Avery asked if he had wanted more. He declined, not wanting to vomit, he felt sick even before Avery showed up. “Or the couch.” He quickly follows up, cheeks burning a dark red.
“Is the bed okay?” Avery asks, voice small. “It’s.. closer to you.. just in case.” Just in case the king kills you. Just in case I can’t sleep, have a nightmare. The thought of letting you outside of my view makes me want to break down. Please don’t make me leave.
“Just in case.” Derek repeats. He nods. “Try to get some sleep.”
Avery nods, shakily rising to his feet and staring at Derek before moving to his bed. It’s made, the red sheets are nearly pulled up to the pillows. There’s a small stuffed parrot on the bed. Avery’s eyes water, staring at it. He doesn’t mention it as he peels back the covers, climbs in and takes the small thing into his arms, holding it as carefully as he can manage. The blankets are soft, slightly worn in some places. Avery runs his fingers across the thinnest parts, feeling the way each thread comes together.
The entire bed is entirely Derek. Even with how little Avery knows, it feels like him, it smells and looks and sounds like him and the thought makes the tears from earlier return and fall onto Derek’s pillow. Avery cries less then silently, he doesn’t dare look at Derek, not wanting cries to turn into sobs. From the desk he can hear sniffing and small gasps. Avery hurries his face into the pillow and pets over the fabric of the bird until he finally falls asleep.
Derek does not. He stays awake late into the night, he listens to Avery’s cries turn into gentle and even breaths.
He stiffens himself in his chair, shoving the flesh of his arm into his mouth as he clicks off of Minecraft and onto Docs.
Derek feels like he’s going to die when he changes tabs, like he’s already dead. He feels millions and millions of pounds crushing all around his head. His teeth grind into the skin of his arm as he writes a note for Avery. Just in case.
Derek hopes he will be quiet as he dies.
He doesn’t have time to reread his letter before the pain becomes too much, before he starts screaming and before he blacks out.