Chapter Text
It had been another rousing success for Morgan in court today, and a victory for her client, Sosuke Ikariya. Of course, the key evidence to the case could only have been found by Serra, so credit was rightfully due to her as well. Morgan remembered to note in her ledger to scratch off another chunk off of Serra’s tab for this.
To celebrate the win, everyone had gone to Bar Kintsugi for a round of drinks, and finally get some downtime to just simply have a calm conversation. After some more solemn reflections on life, Sosuke reached into his coat pocket and produced a brown, amber bottle that had a cork stopper at the end. Morgan took note of the fact that it seemingly had no label on it.
“Drinking your own liquor at a bar certainly is something I haven’t seen before,” Morgan quips.
“Hmm? Oh, no, this isn’t- I haven’t been able to take my medications until they released me, so I’m catching up on my doses.” Sure enough, he popped open the cork, and took out a small ball of cotton that muffled the now more apparent sound of pills.
“I didn’t know you had a prescription, Sosuke,” Serra said.
“It’s not really…. A formal thing. Mirei noticed some medical issues that even I didn’t notice, so she was able to acquire some appropriate medication to remedy my situation.”
“Medical issues?” Morgan was incredibly curious to what Sosuke could be referring to; perhaps a Mod not taking well? If not that, he broke his hand defending Makoto by slamming it into a metal panel, so something like painkillers isn’t completely out of the question if he’s hurting himself like that often, although she doubts it based on previous conversations. Wanting to cast a larger net, she starts from basics.
“What sort of issues did she notice?”
“Well, I think she noticed sometimes I would “space out”, as she described it, and I never remembered when it happened, but she seemed to want to try to cheer me up whenever it did. These pills are helpful for that, especially now that I can continue taking them.” Sosuke paused to pop one into his mouth, notably without any water or drinks. “It’s been…. Taxing for me, when I noticed the lack of their effects, but I’m glad Mirei was able to get me more.”
“Are you sure you should be having anti-depressants with alcohol, Sosuke? Conventional medical research suggests this can have ill-advised effects….” Morgan noticed Serra say that last part with a small amount of sadness in her voice, and wondered for a second why before immediately connecting the dots.
Morgan coughed and tried to avoid thinking about it, and instead listen to Sosuke’s answer.
He waved his hands to assuage her concerns. “No, no, nothing like that. Although it’s a rather unconventional method of taking the medicine, since I have to place it under my tongue rather than immediately swallowing it.” That explains why he’s been fiddling with it in his mouth for the past few minutes, not wanting to seem like he was taking some sort of dip tobacco or something….
Wait, sublingual?
“Sosuke, can I see one of those?” Morgan asked.
“Hmm? Sure, but please don’t lose it. Mirei has stressed to me how important these are, and I’d rather not upset her telling her I dropped one.”
Morgan asks Serra for a spare coaster and napkin, and placing the blue pill on top of both, she took note of what it looked like; skinny, one side with a line crossed through the middle, a number “887” on one side, and a “2” on the other side of the line. She carefully flipped the pill to see a hexagonal “b” on the other face of the pill.
Morgan places the coaster down, trying to take in all the information.
Estradiol? Why the heck has Mirei got him on estradiol? He’s….. well, I never pegged….. how to broach the subject….
Serra does it for her by asking first. “Wow, Sosuke, I didn't know you took Estrogen! Are you on Progesterone or Spirolactone? Or are you just taking a high dose of Estradiol?”
Morgan glances up in surprise at the girl’s lack of tact, and realizes now Serra had been examining the pill as well. She noted that she really had to teach her how to segue into subjects better than that.
“Estro…. Sorry? I didn’t quite catch those other names as well, but they sound familiar, I think I’ve heard her talk about them before….” Sosuke seemed as surprised as Morgan was by this information.
“Yes, Sosuke, those are all part of hormone replacement therapy.”
“Ah, I’ve definitely heard about that before, Mirei definitely mentioned it to me.”
A pause as Morgan waits for the rest of the sentence, or the other shoe to drop.
“...And?”
“What do you mean, ‘and’, Morgan?”
“Sosuke, do you know what that entails?”
Another look of confusion from the Hound.
“I believe what Adonai is attempting to convey is her being perplexed why you’re taking estradiol if you didn’t know they were for medically transitioning. Typically into a trans woman, but one can also pick a number of identities under the broader-”
“Wait, wait,” Sosuke interrupted. “That’s what these are for?”
Serra tilted her head as she now tried to decipher what it all had meant. “Sosuke, might I ask what you believed were the intended purpose of these pills?”
“… I thought they had some sort of attention deficit neutralizing effect, or a mood stabilizer of sorts.”
A silence filled the room, until Sosuke asked another question.
“….Why would Mirei think I wanted to be a woman?”
“I’m not sure, Sosuke,” Serra replied. “Did you ever indicate you wanted to be a woman?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve said anything of the sort.”
Morgan decided to push the questioning further. “Sosuke, have you ever expressed dissatisfaction with being a man?”
This caught him off guard. “Dissatisf- I especially haven’t thought of that idea!”
“I believe you’re misconstruing my question, so let me be more clear: have you ever felt worse after thoughts or experiences relating directly to you being a man?”
Sosuke sat in stunned silence.
“Adonai….”
“Question withdrawn. I have a new one for you.”
“Have you ever felt particularly happy because you were a man?”
The man(?) opposite of her pondered for a moment. “I’m glad I can serve the House and Daisuke as I am. I’m happy I can defend Makoto as I do and make sure he’s safe. I am happy I can…” He paused for a moment, almost glancing around, almost expecting someone else to be in the bar. “I’m glad I can see Mirei when I can.” That last part feels more measured. Like he’s afraid of getting comfortable sitting down.
A single beat. Morgan already notices it, but glances at Serra to hand over the reins. She wants her to get more practice with this. She coughs before pointing out her own observation to him.
“Sosuke, do any of those things require you to be a man?”
“...I don’t think I understand.”
“I think you believe all of those things are only possible in because of you being a man, but from what I have seen and learned, none of those things are actually contingent on such. I don’t believe your roles as the Hound of Ikariya would shift greatly if you weren’t a man. I’m not sure of what’s Makoto’s exact thoughts on it, but I would be perplexed on it being a deal breaker, it certainly isn’t the only thing he likes of you. And Mirei…..”
A pause, Serra also picking up at least the weight of what she heard, and what she was about to say. “Would Mirei hate you for such?”
A moment. He frowns visibly, almost looking as though he’s trying to think of a retort, but then a breath as though he’s going to speak, and he instead relaxes.
This talk’s reached it’s conclusion. Serra did a good job there, but I’d prefer if we remained disconnected from the ramifications. No good in leaving a trace.
“Well,” Morgan said as she stretched her arms. “I’m not your doctor or pharmacist. Neither of us are, really. This all amounts to speculation. We’re no experts in medicine, Sosuke, if Mirei gave you that bottle, she probably had a good reason to. So if she said take the medicine, keep taking it. Don’t let me or Serra sway your choice like that.”
Morgan saw Serra’s slight pout at the conversation ending like that, almost ready to challenge her judgment, but not wanting to broach further. Sosuke sighed and continued their drink as the discussion petered out.
The pot had been stirred enough already. Let them solve it on their own.