Chapter Text
"This is terrible," was the first ringing thought visiting Anxin's mind, like it was hitting him on the head with a little hammer. He twirled the thin strip of white plastic between his fingers and stared at the word “pregnant” until finally his eyes began to blur from too much focus, and the letters turned into a smudge. He blinked, as if that would help and the word “not” would appear before this inscription, and it was silly to hope for that, because a miracle would not happen. It really was terrible, and Anxin could not come to terms with what he was seeing, because he had never imagined that such a situation could happen to him. The very thought of pregnancy was alien to him. Probably, he had naively assumed that something like this would pass him by for his entire life, but here it was, in the form of the word on the pregnancy test, for which Anxin had spent more money than he had planned, and now he wanted to turn back time. Not an hour ago to the store, to avoid buying the most expensive pregnancy test. A month ago, somewhere in mid-August, when what eventually led Anxin to this moment happened. When he and Sangwon let passion win and made them both forget about protection before sex.
Summoning courage, which he clearly lacked, he sighed and stepped out of the bathroom, heart beating nervously. Taking the test and seeing the depressing result was one thing, but going out into the world and telling others about his pregnancy was another. It was both anxiety and fear, and a strange knot in the lower belly all at once.
“Damn, hyung…” Anxin stomped to his bed in one of the corners of his university room, which he shared with his best and closest friend—Jiahao—and collapsed onto it face down, nose straight into the pillow. Now he felt even more anxious, because the pillow somehow miraculously smelled like Sangwon and reminded him of what was really happening. And it was even surprising how it happened that such a distinct Sangwon scent remained on the pillow, because often they spent time together precisely in the alpha's room, since Jiahao was constantly in room and refused to leave it even for a step, but fortunately, Sangwon lived alone, so spending time together caused no problems. Although the Sangwon scent on his pillow could be explained by the fact that Anxin refused to take off Sangwon's hoodie when he slept. “This is really terrible…”
“What happened?” Jiahao asked, turning to his best friend with curiosity, chewing a green sour apple and reading some Chinese fashion magazine by the light of a cute bunny-shaped candleholder, which, by the way, was a gift to Anxin from Sangwon. This candleholder now stood on the little table between their beds and served as the main source of light, because neither Anxin nor Jiahao liked turning on the ceiling lights. And Anxin liked it very, very much, because such an atmosphere reminded him of Sangwon’s room, where there was always some cozy candleholder, music from his playlist was playing, and the windows were curtained. Apparently, Sangwon’s mood influenced everyone around him, because Anxin noticed a similar atmosphere in the rooms of all their mutual friends. Well, Sangwon’s room was always the coziest of all possible, and that was exactly why Anxin loved spending all his time there. Okay, not because of that. He just loved Sangwon, to be honest.
“I’m pregnant…” Anxin realized that his words sounded as if from underwater, considering that he buried his nose in the pillow, but he also realized that Jiahao could hear him perfectly, because he jumped up from his bed, and the fashion magazine fell to the floor. First, he heard Jiahao’s footsteps on the floor, then he felt him sit on his bed. What he did not expect at all was that Jiahao would smack him on the butt. Anxin finally lifted his head from the pillow, feeling disappointment because he no longer smelled Sangwon, and turned to Jiahao in surprise, who looked extremely strange. Yes, strange. In other words, there was no other way to describe it. He had never seen such a look from his friend before. “What?”
“Are you asking?” Jiahao pulled Anxin by the sleeve and made him sit properly, ignoring his dissatisfied whine. He quickly glanced him over, then fixed him with the most intense look. “You said you’re pregnant. Are you stupid?”
Over many years spent with Jiahao, Anxin had gotten used to his protective habits, which sometimes crossed all boundaries. The older omega always protected him and cared for him like a brother. Anxin still remembered very well how Jiahao gave him important ‘lessons’ when Anxin first started dating Sangwon. It was not bad, because in the end Anxin picked up a lot from Jiahao’s experience, and it became much easier for him in the future. And he remembered how he once found a pack of condoms in his backpack of exactly the size that fit Sangwon. It was very suspicious, and as it turned out, Jiahao had found out from Leo, his boyfriend and Sangwon’s best friend, what size was needed. It was… well, strange. However, Anxin was still very grateful, because in any case, those condoms were very convenient when Anxin and Sangwon first had sex.
But for some reason, even this time Jiahao did not help.
“Anxin, I told you how important it is to use condoms,” Jiahao frowned and now looked as if he were really scolding Anxin like a child. His uneaten apple lay somewhere on the little table. And now he did not look relaxed or interested in his magazine. “And what now? Wait, are you even sure you’re really pregnant? Did you buy a pregnancy test? Show me. Maybe it’s defective.”
“I bought this test for thirty thousand won,” Anxin obediently took the pregnancy test out of his pocket, not daring to argue with Jiahao at the moment. He placed it on Jiahao’s outstretched, waiting palm, and he immediately began to study it. “I don’t think it’s defective. Thirty thousand won, hyung, understand!…”
“Why did you buy such an expensive test?” Jiahao looked at Anxin for a few seconds with a scolding frown, then lowered his gaze to the pregnancy test in his hand. His words sounded somewhat reproachful, exactly like an older brother’s disapproval. “Anxin… I don’t know what to say. Wait, let me think…”
Anxin watched Jiahao stand up and start pacing the room back and forth, thinking very seriously, massaging his nose bridge or temples alternately. His own mind felt somehow too empty for someone who had just found out about his pregnancy. He did not know what he should do. So he just lay on his back and dangled his legs off the bed, staring at the ceiling. His attention quickly returned to Jiahao, who continued pacing but already with a clearly calmer expression. Anxin crawled up until his head rested on the pillow and again smelled Sangwon on the pillow, so he buried his nose deeper into the fabric.
Sangwon…
If only he were here right now. And his calming jasmine tea with rose petal scent.
“What are you thinking about?” Anxin opened his eyes when he heard this question and noticed Jiahao leaning over him. He hadn’t even realized he had closed his eyes, distracted by Sangwon’s scent, and that his friend had noticed. He was about to open his mouth to say something that could explain his actions, but Jiahao again pulled him by his clothes and made him sit. “Listen, Anxin, do you know when it happened?”
Given the way Jiahao clearly emphasized the word “it,” he meant that day—the mistake that led them to this complicated situation. Anxin already knew the answer, because he had thought about it too. And now he remembered that evening.
♡
It was around eight o’clock in the evening when Anxin finally finished all the assignments that had been given by the professor about a week ago. He had spent the last two hours at the desk, and now, when he got up from the chair, he felt discomfort and stretched, trying to loosen the aching muscles. The sound of a notification on his phone was too loud, and he immediately turned his attention to the illuminated screen. On Anxin’s face, a satisfied smile blossomed instantly, like a cat. It was Sangwon. He was writing that he was free, having finished his evening shift at the university coffee shop, and Anxin already felt a thrill at the thought of their meeting. Every time the alpha wrote that he wanted to meet, his heart would skip a beat. Even after six months of their relationship. These few moments felt unreal. The warm feeling that Sangwon was thinking of him, writing to meet as soon as possible.
Anxin shook off all the fatigue he had felt just seconds ago. He sloppily closed all the textbooks and notes and looked around for some kind of jacket, as it should be cool outside in the evening. His search for a sweater was unsuccessful, and he decided to go out in just a tee. Under the curious gaze of Jiahao, who was cooking something in the kitchen of their room, Anxin hurried to the front door and slipped on his sneakers.
“Sangwon?” the older omega asked lazily, stirring noodles in a pot of boiling water. The corners of his lips lifted just slightly when he saw Anxin rushing.
Anxin quickly responded with a hum and waved to his friend as he left the room. The door closed behind him with a quiet beep. He hurried down the dormitory corridors and crossed the campus area, between the dormitories for omegas and alphas. Several figures under the streetlight caught his attention. As he got closer, he squinted and recognized Sangwon among them. The other three were his friends. Out of them, Anxin only knew Leo, so his presence felt a bit awkward. Anxin immediately glued himself to Sangwon and kissed him on the cheek, but when the alpha playfully puckered his lips like a bow, he kissed him on the lips with a giggle.
Sangwon’s friends, or rather his classmates, said their goodbyes and walked together toward the alpha dormitory, while Leo continued to stand nearby, staring at them with a barely noticeable smile, which did not cause any embarrassment, as Leo was clearly just happy to witness such cute expressions of their love, and Anxin was not shy about showing affection in public. Sangwon still sometimes got embarrassed if they kissed somewhere on campus before classes, with so many other students around, but with Leo, it seemed he did not feel that way.
“What’s the plan?” Leo yawned widely, not even covering his mouth, scratching the back of his head and shifting from foot to foot.
“The room’s free all night, if you care,” Anxin snorted, still glued to Sangwon’s side, clearly showing that he had no intention of leaving the alpha’s space. Leo’s question did not surprise him, but it amused him, because there was something funny in how Leo immediately went to Jiahao, making Anxin take just a step away. At first, he had grumbled at his best friend, not understanding why Jiahao stayed in their room, and it was Anxin who had to leave so that both of them could spend time with their alphas. Then he realized that it was actually for the better, because he liked Sangwon’s room very much, after all. “Hao, by the way, is cooking something. Hurry up.”
“All night?” Leo’s eyebrow shot up as he asked this question so slyly.
“Yes, you don’t have to worry. Anxin-ie will stay with me all night,” Sangwon demonstratively hugged the omega by the waist, as if to convey to Leo that he would never let Anxin go. “At least until seven in the morning, you can be in the room.”
And with that, they parted. Leo pulled his hood up and walked quickly in the direction Anxin had come from a few minutes ago. Sangwon gently pulled Anxin into his room. They walked, hugging and awkwardly shuffling their feet, too focused on each other, not daring to let go even for a second. Anxin found opportunities to kiss his boyfriend on trembling eyelids, the bridge of his nose, tender lips, and cold cheeks.
Sangwon’s room lit up when the alpha clicked the switch, and the light fell on the walls in a warm, soft shadow, creating a special atmosphere and turning the space into their private world just for the two of them, where they could completely relax in each other’s arms and surrender to passion and love without doubt or fear. Every corner was filled with Sangwon’s scent, so familiar and soft, so weightless and fluffy, making them feel like they were floating, filled with a sense of protection and the most tender love. Every item and detail on the tidy shelves carried a note of Sangwon. From just one glance, it was easy to tell how tenderly Sangwon respected his personal space and arranged it in a way that pleased his soul, everything practically shouting about him. Anxin’s heart involuntarily tightened whenever he thought about it again. He sank into Sangwon’s dizzying scent, into his familiar weightless, tender, soft touches, into the deep loving gaze meant only for him. He completely drowned, and he liked it.
Cold fingers gripped the fabric of his clothes tighter as Sangwon gave him unforgettable sensations, kissing along the line of his jaw and gradually moving to his neck, deliberately avoiding the most sensitive spot, so as not to drive Anxin completely insane just yet. He wrapped his hands around the omega’s body to warm him, because, of course, he noticed his goosebumps—though Anxin was ready to agree that it was his reaction to Sangwon’s ticklish touches—as always, he noticed everything concerning Anxin, even the simplest and most unnoticed things.
“Just like that?” a whisper slipped under the skin, and the languid gaze from under the lashes made the butterfly paradise in Anxin’s stomach come alive, making him squeeze the alpha’s hands a little tighter. Feeling the soft bed under him, he realized belatedly that he was already lying down, and Sangwon was looming over him, pressing so close and so hard as if his life depended on it. “Don’t you want to eat?”
Even if he did, Anxin was ready to be satisfied with just Sangwon. Tonight, the alpha could satisfy him for the whole week ahead.
“Are you seriously asking this now, when we’re already lying like this?” his mischievous fingers slipped under the alpha’s tee and pressed him even closer, stronger, though they were already seemingly glued to each other. The question was quite funny. Sangwon did not expect them to interrupt to eat, did he? When the temperature in the room had already risen, and their passion was clearly unstoppable. “I won’t let you go. No way.”
Sangwon laughed in response, tickling Anxin’s neck with his breath, making it even harder for him to restrain himself. His limbs were already too chaotic and uncooperative, and all his thoughts were occupied by Sangwon—what would happen next, a little later, after all these kisses, touches, whispers. Hands slid lower, gripping the soft skin of his hips, and a greedy, prolonged moan slipped involuntarily from his lips. He wanted more, wanted Sangwon to possess every inch of his skin, to dissolve into the scent of the alpha.
Too languidly and for too long. Sangwon, as always, tormented him, prolonging what Anxin so desperately wanted. He grabbed his wrists, preventing him from moving further on his own, nipping his neck, kissing off the plaintive whines from his lips. Until he himself began removing clothes from his slender figure, driving him insane—Sangwon restrained his moan, as he considered it impossible for Anxin to have such a thin waist, because it could fit entirely in just his palm. It was unthinkable. He wanted to squeeze this small figure, feel the warm skin under his fingers, and go insane from the thinness, but such rash actions could cause bruises on the omega’s delicate skin, and he did not want to subject Anxin to any pain.
♡
“Anxin!” With a quiet sigh, Anxin snapped out of his thoughts and felt warmth spreading across his cheeks. Is he… embarrassed? By such memories? Jiahao was standing in front of him, frowning, tugging at his sleeve. “Are you even listening to me? When did this happen? Do you remember?”
Anxin didn’t know how many seconds or minutes he had been lost in thought, but judging by the fact that Jiahao didn’t look displeased, probably not too long. Otherwise, the older omega would have scolded him.
“In August, in the middle of the month,” Anxin was completely certain of his words. He had no doubts. He and Sangwon had always used condoms, and that day, which seemed to be the fifteenth of August, had been the exception when they had completely forgotten about it, getting too carried away with each other. Not that Anxin kept this day in his mind—no. At the moment and even the next morning, he hadn’t realized that they had had sex without a condom, and for the entire following month, he hadn’t thought about it. Only when the pregnancy test result had thrown him into shock did he understand. He remembered that very day. “Yes, the fifteenth of August.”
Jiahao frowned even more, and his posture became slightly tenser. He took his phone, opened the calendar app, and flipped to August.
“Today is September ninth,” he muttered, biting his lip. He studied the calendar for a few more seconds, then turned to Anxin with a sigh. “Are you late or something? Why did you even decide to take a pregnancy test?”
“Yes, I’m late,” he answered honestly, recalling all his worries. His cycle was regular, too regular to worry about being late by eleven days. The tracking app had sent him a notification asking whether his cycle had started—it was the first of September—but Anxin had ignored it, as he often did when he was too busy. He simply swiped it away and forgot, not even trying to read what was written. Only yesterday did he notice that he was actually late—not just by two days. Anxiety immediately hit him, and the fatigue and irritability of the past few days only made it worse. He began to suspect something, and today he had taken the test. “Today is the eleventh day of being late. And… I get so tired, and even the smallest things annoy me.”
An example of his irritability over the simplest moments could be this—throughout this week, he had been strangely nauseated by various smells, annoyed by silly questions and jokes, and he even ignored his friends from university because he genuinely felt uncomfortable being near them, which was completely unlike him. He attributed it to being tired from studying, but it turned out to be much worse, much deeper than he expected. Something that couldn’t be fixed with one night of full healthy sleep, a hearty dinner, a walk with Sangwon, or watching a drama on a rainy summer evening. It couldn’t be fixed. It wasn’t just fatigue.
“Does Sangwon know?” Jiahao looked at him sharply again, raising an eyebrow while holding the pregnancy test. “Or does he at least know that you’re late?”
“He knows nothing,” he felt a slight pang of guilt from his own words. Because he had hidden the fact of his delay from everyone. From his best friend, to whom he usually told even the most reckless things and shared every little detail. From his alpha, whom he had been dating for six months, with whom they had the most sincere and honest relationship in the world, where no one hides anything from each other. And from himself too, to be honest. Maybe he was just trying to ignore this problem, to cover it up like a mistake in text, erase it like with a pencil eraser, paint over it like a stain on the wall. “I don’t know what he’ll say about it.”
“He’ll be shocked,” Jiahao nodded and covered his face with his hands. It was hard for him too. Anxin imagined what he felt. The older omega had promised Anxin’s parents he would look after him, and now this situation had happened. “But you have to tell him today.”
“Of course, I want to tell him as soon as possible too,” Anxin sighed. How many times in the past hour had he done that?
♡
Today, after classes at the university, he goes to the convenience store near the dormitory to buy a pregnancy test. He is so nervous that his palms sweat unpleasantly, making the phone slip in his hands. Sangwon writes to him that he is finishing his studies and heading to the coffee shop for his shift, and his stomach twists with anxiety, a warning red light flashing in his head about what he is doing behind the alpha’s back. Going to the store to buy the pregnancy test and pay for it with Sangwon’s bank card. This is truly unthinkable madness.
Life is giving him a rollercoaster.
The bell over the door rings as he leans on the door of 7/11 and enters the store. In the background, a song by a popular Korean group is playing, the cashier is arranging new products on the counter and greets him, and the other customers continue shopping, not paying attention to him. Everything looks the same as on any other ordinary day. Everyone is living their lives. Only for Anxin, the situation here is not simple, because he needs to buy a pregnancy test right now, and before that, choose it so that others don’t notice. And although he understands that probably no one cares what exactly he came for, he is still scared, so he pulls the hood of his sweatshirt tighter.
He awkwardly walks between the aisles in search of the right section. Next to the personal hygiene products for omegas stands what he needs. A variety of pregnancy tests in different price ranges. He exhales quietly, having no idea which one to buy. Maybe he should have checked online? Read information about which one to buy so that he wouldn’t stand here like a lost child? Too late to think about that now. He has already come, and there is no way back.
“Maybe this one?” he mutters to himself under his breath, trying to calm down in the uncomfortable silence around him, and picks up the package of one of the tests. Or maybe he should have told Jiahao and gone for the test with him? That would have been less nerve-wracking, and he wouldn’t feel so awkward standing in the silence. Alright. Stop thinking about it. “Pull yourself together.”
Anxin stands in front of the shelf for about another minute, examining all the packages. This pregnancy test, electronic, promising a one hundred percent accurate result, attracts his attention the most, but he hesitates. Because it is the most expensive one here. For thirty thousand won, he could buy himself a full meal in this store. Is it worth spending such a large sum on this test?
But he wants to get the most accurate result.
“Damn…” Anxin finally grabs the package of this test and quickly leaves that aisle, so as not to doubt anymore. On the way to the checkout, he notices his favorite snacks and grabs them, then finds his favorite peach tea. If he doesn’t go to the cashier right now, he will probably buy everything in the store just to hide this awkward pregnancy test among the rest.
He puts the selected items on the counter in front of the cashier and feels embarrassed about his set. Peach iced tea, silly crispy chocolate snacks, and a pregnancy test. How awkward.
His hands tremble, barely noticeable, but it makes him tense. He tries to calm down, but all these thoughts, all these feelings literally burst out of him. His head spins, his stomach twists, his face burns with embarrassment, and he feels as if everyone will laugh at him. Although the cashier scans all the items with the calmest expression possible, scanning a pregnancy test for some omega student with trembling hands, looking like a frightened kitten with those scared, confused eyes.
“Thirty-five thousand won for everything,” the cashier’s voice is direct, calm. Anxin nods nervously and hands over the bank card with his pitifully trembling hands, hoping that the alpha at the register does not notice, and sincerely believing in his luck, because the cashier simply taps his card and, after the payment goes through, returns it to Anxin as if nothing happened. It’s a little thing, but it encourages him. Everything turns out not to be as bad as he had thought on the way to the store.
When he enters his dorm room, one thought strikes him. Will Sangwon see in his banking app history that thirty-five thousand won was spent at a convenience store? Of course, he knows that Anxin uses his card—he gave the omega this card himself and told him to buy whatever he needed—but thirty-five thousand won at 7/11 is not a small amount. To buy food for that amount, you would have to be truly hungry. He doesn’t want to lie to the alpha, so Anxin hopes that he doesn’t notice, being too busy at the coffee shop.
He puts the shopping bag on the table and looks at it. Chocolate snacks, croissants, and peach tea, which together cost only five thousand won. And the pregnancy test. Too expensive. Now there is only one thing left—to take the test, and quickly, while Jiahao is too absorbed in his magazine.
♡
“Anxin, you’re daydreaming again,” Jiahao tugs at his sweatshirt sleeve, again, for the millionth time today, forcing him to get up from the soft bed. “Where is Sangwon right now? At the coffee shop? Go and tell him.”
“Right now? He’s at work,” Anxin doesn’t want to distract Sangwon from his job at all. The alpha earns his living as a student and allows Anxin to use his bank card, and what does he do? Come and distract him from work? But… should Anxin even worry about that? He had come to Sangwon at work like this once before, and in the end, they had ended up sleeping together right in the staff room, and back then nothing about it bothered him. That incident wasn’t that long ago, considering they had been dating for six months. In May, when apparently it was Anxin’s ovulation—as Jiahao explained the younger omega’s strange behavior that day—and the hormones did their job. He walked around irritated, thinking about Sangwon all day, texting him every hour, distracting him from studying and work while he sat in the dorm room, because he was too lazy to go to classes. After lying in bed under the blanket for a long time, watching another silly drama, he decided to go to the alpha at work. What he saw shocked and horrified him—now Anxin thinks he must have gone crazy at that moment. While Sangwon was making coffee, some brazen omega was flirting with him. And okay, what’s so strange about that? Sangwon is very attractive, and it’s understandable that at the university coffee shop, where students come, he would get a lot of attention. But for some reason, Anxin felt irritated, even though Sangwon had just smiled and thanked the omega for the compliment. He couldn’t believe that Sangwon was smiling at someone who wasn’t him. He waited until the omega left, and then shoved Sangwon into the staff room and gave him an interrogation that made poor Sangwon’s eyes nearly pop out. He clearly hadn’t expected this. Well, but everything ended well. Clothes were lying on the floor, the staff room was temporarily off-limits, and the flustered boy, Sangwon’s colleague, had to cover someone else’s shift. The next day, Anxin apologized to his alpha for such sudden jealousy, and Sangwon apologized to his colleague. “He’s busy.”
“When else, Xin? Right now, yes,” Jiahao is insistent, so Anxin has to pull himself together and go to the coffee shop to Sangwon, to “surprise” him with his pregnancy.
♡
“Oh?” Sangwon hears all the background sounds in the coffee shop as if he’s underwater. The quiet laughter of students and their conversations while they sit with their notes and laptops, the noise of the coffee machine, the polite voice of his colleague standing behind the counter and smiling at a customer, the rare clinking of dishes. All of it, the entire atmosphere around him, suddenly changes. He doesn’t think about anything, focused entirely on Anxin’s face and his voice, telling him about the pregnancy. For several seconds, he doesn’t understand, digests the words, feels their taste on his tongue, and then gently takes the omega’s hand and pulls him a little further, away from the gazes of others, away from all this extra noise. He runs his eyes over Anxin’s figure, glancing quickly, and then stops on his stomach, blinking in confusion. “You’re pregnant?”
Anxin nods with all seriousness, and it’s the most serious thing Sangwon has seen in him in all six months of their relationship. The omega has never been this serious before, which means there is not a single hint of a joke in his words, because knowing Anxin, Sangwon is sure that if it were a joke, he would already be rolling on the floor laughing. And he is sure there’s something to laugh at, because the expression on his face is very funny right now. Funny, but not for himself.
“Oh, I… wait,” Sangwon licks his lower lip from nervousness and wipes his palms on his work apron, because they’re sweaty, and he doesn’t even realize at what point he became so anxious. This is the most alarming thing he has ever heard in his life. He has never been this scared before. When did it happen? He lowers his gaze to Anxin’s stomach again, trying to remember the day when everything went wrong. A child is a huge responsibility, a responsibility for the rest of your life. Even when the child grows up to be independent, Sangwon, as a parent, will think about him every day, care for him, support him, and worry. Just like his parents. Just like Anxin’s parents. This is not a toy you can play with and throw away. “Are you sure, Anxin-ie?”
“Hyung, I… bought a very expensive pregnancy test, with your money,” Anxin sighs, and Sangwon hears notes of guilt in his voice, which makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t want Anxin, his omega, his sweet beloved Anxin-ie, to worry about money. He gave his card to him himself and told him not to worry and to buy everything he needed. Yes, he works at the university coffee shop, but he has a decent salary. “It really is a very expensive test, so I don’t think it’s faulty. Also, my cycle is late. Eleven days already. I thought it was because of stress at studies, but… have you noticed, I’ve been quite irritable lately.”
So it’s true. Anxin really is pregnant. The expensive test seems to really be more reliable, and its result can be trusted. The cycle delay, when Anxin’s cycle is usually very stable. The irritability he noticed, yes, but he remained politely silent, waiting for the moment when Anxin would tell him what was happening. But he never imagined it would be like this.
“We need to see a doctor,” Sangwon steps closer and gently places his hand on Anxin’s lower back, then kisses his forehead and sighs. Yes, it’s hard, but whatever happens, it has already happened, and they need to act next. “And if the pregnancy is confirmed, we’ll think about what to do next.”
“What about studies?” Anxin asks a very important question. And indeed. What will they do about studies? At least about Anxin’s studies. Because Sangwon himself will finish university in a few months, and Anxin will only finish his first year. Everything is complicated by the fact that Anxin is Chinese. He currently lives in Korea on a student visa, and if because of the pregnancy he has to quit his studies, what will they do?
“We’ll go for an ultrasound, then go to the university and find out what can be done, okay? Just don’t worry, Anxin-ah,” Sangwon kisses him again, this time on the cheek, and hugs him lightly, squeezing his shoulder. “Yes, it’s scary, but believe me, everything will be fine. I’ll do everything so that you are happy and safe.”
“My visa,” it’s clear that Anxin is worried about this, very much. He glances around, blinks often, and squeezes Sangwon’s hand.
“Everything will turn out much better than you think. To calm you a little, I want to say that for now you can attend classes, until your stomach grows, and then take an academic leave,” apparently, that can be done. At least, Sangwon doesn’t see any problems with that.
“We’ll go for an ultrasound tomorrow morning,” Anxin squeezes his hand once more, then slightly pulls away and smiles a little, gaining courage from Sangwon’s warm gaze.
It’s impossible to calmly continue making coffee after such news, so Sangwon asks his colleague to cover for him, and he kindly agrees with a slight smile. How good it is that they have a friendly relationship and can cover for each other at any time due to important circumstances. So Sangwon gathers his things from the staff room, leads Anxin out of the coffee shop, and they head to Sangwon’s dorm room. It’s surprising that no one at the university has caught them yet, seeing Anxin going to his room.
While they walk, he involuntarily remembers that day. It seems it was August fifteenth. It rained almost all day. He finished his shift at the coffee shop and texted Anxin about it. They ended up in his room, and then…
♡
Ragged breathing, sighs, sticky touches of their hands, lazy kisses, the sound of skin meeting skin, erotic slurping noises from the abundance of natural secretions. Sangwon is going crazy. His mind is clouded by sensations. He wants to devour Anxin completely, to surrender himself to these incredible sensations. He almost clenches his teeth, holding back a moan as he sinks into Anxin. Thrust after thrust, touch after touch, kiss after kiss. He enjoys this, enjoys how he’s turning the omega into a mess, making him squirm on the bed saturated with their mixed scents, cry and whimper, grab his shoulders.
He pushes deeper, burying his face in the omega’s neck to breathe in the fresh summer scent of ripe peaches, which is even stronger than usual right now, he grabs his wrists, pulling them away from his shoulders, and gently squeezes and strokes the soft skin. Then he lowers his hands, grabs Anxin’s trembling legs below the knees—feeling droplets of sweat on his fingers—and spreads them apart, holding them so they don’t shift. He kisses the collarbone before straightening up and kissing Anxin’s knee with a lingering kiss.
“Sangwon-ah,” this is what he’s driving Anxin to. Anxin draws out his address to the alpha, his voice grows higher and weaker, and his trembling becomes more pronounced and noticeable. Sangwon watches him closely, seeing the smooth turn of his head to the side—a movement born more of not knowing where to put himself—and his eyes shut tight against the flood of sensations. His fingers clasp the alpha’s hands, squeezing them gently. Sangwon is overwhelmed by a warm wave of something pleasant, viscous as honey, purring deep in his chest. He is so pleased with what he sees, proud of himself for bringing the omega to such a state. It’s impossible, unreal, to resist the urge to run his fingertips along the long, pale, slender neck. He traces the sharp collarbone with a weightless touch, tickling the delicate skin, causing Anxin to flinch and look up at him, and their eyes meet. A current runs between them. Sangwon wants to drown in the abyss of those sparkling, sweet, cat-like eyes, in which complete trust and tenderness toward him are so strong and so clearly visible. That warm dewdrop in the corner of his eyelashes, which he gently wipes away with his thumb, touching him so lightly, as if afraid of spoiling the moment. His lashes flutter at touch, and a fragile tear rolls down his pink cheek. He wants so damn badly, so very badly, to kiss those lovely, sparkling pink lips.
But the next thing he sees is Anxin’s embarrassment. He blinks several times and lowers his gaze to the alpha’s neat, sweat-glossed abs, as if that’s the most important thing to him at that moment, so much so that he has to look away. It’s so funny, so cute, that Sangwon can’t hold back a soft chuckle, feeling a strong surge of tenderness and affection for this little cutie.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispers into the thick air between them and takes a slow, warm breath, soaked in their mixed scents. “Why are you shy?”
“Let’s not waste time on silly questions,” a smile spreads across Anxin’s face too when he hears the alpha’s quiet, soft voice, but with a sudden new thrust, he moans deeply again and pulls Sangwon closer by the neck, wanting to be even closer to his warm body, to surrender to his weightless touches.
Sangwon obediently presses himself against him, slowly sliding his hands over his damn tiny waist, stroking his stomach, and then abruptly lifting Anxin by the hips and pressing him against his own, changing the direction and depth of his lingering thrusts, hearing a sound like a meow, unchecked by those sweet lips, driving him crazy, damn it.
“Hyung, please…” that whimpering and those sobs drive him crazy, he swears by everything he has. The sound coming from Anxin is so clear, high, so vulnerable and tiny, carrying impatience and desire. Sangwon knows exactly what he’s asking for. Perfectly knows. If he were taking an exam on how to handle Zhou Anxin, he would undoubtedly score the highest possible marks, because he knows. He knows every shiver, every whine or sob, every touch. He knows everything. And no one else. Never. He is his.
Zhou Anxin belongs to Lee Sangwon. Completely and utterly.
He sees that Anxin is very close. And he accelerates his movements with his hips, thrusts smoothly, but so deeply and so perfectly to the end, hears obscene squelches, strokes omega's long slender legs, sometimes squeezes sensitive skin, which leaves traces in the form of his fingers. He looks down to see how his dick penetrates into the warmth of Anxin, and then comes out half-wet from the humidity of Anxin. It's the best thing he sees, except for the omega's beautiful face, flushed from sex.
“What do you want, sweetie, mmh?” Sangwon bends down, spreading Anxin's knees even wider to achieve a new angle and deeper penetration, captures the parted lips in a kiss, savors the upper lip and bites it slightly, and then buries his nose in the wet neck and leaves a few marks on the skin, and frankly, he doesn't care if Anxin they will have to cover them up, so as not to amuse the confidence of their mutual friends, who will be delighted with what they see on omega's neck. They like to tease them, they like to make them feel uncomfortable.
“I… uhn, hyung-ie,” Anxin moans, breathing in short, rapid gasps, clutching Sangwon’s head and pulling him closer, winding a strand of wet black hair around his finger and smoothing it back. He presses gentle kisses to Sangwon’s temple and traces his hands down along his neck and jaw. He blinks often, trying to clear tears, and Sangwon notices the tiny drops glistening in the corners of his eyes.
Anxin is always so vulnerable and helpless when they’re together like this—so needy and clingy. Especially as they near the end, he becomes even more dependent, holding onto his alpha to steady himself, swept away by overwhelming sensations. Sangwon can’t admit how much he loves seeing Anxin like this, not even to himself. It’s intense, and he knows Anxin might intentionally push his limits further, but he isn’t ready—and perhaps never will be.
He didn’t want to admit it, but he always indulged Anxin, no matter what he asked. Even when Anxin suddenly showed up at his workplace, claiming he missed him, Sangwon felt a surge of possessive jealousy. Their connection sometimes made him forget all professional boundaries, though later he might feel embarrassed about how flustered he became. Seeing Anxin’s happy, trusting expression always made everything else fade into the background.
Later, Jiahao explained to him in detail how an omega’s ovulation cycle could strongly influence behavior. Sangwon realized just how much hormones could change someone’s usual actions.
He was reminded of this one day when Anxin confidently entered his classroom, ignoring the lecture, curious stares from other students, and the awkward silence his sudden appearance caused. Sangwon was nearly shocked when Anxin told him to quickly gather his things. Needless to say, they soon left together, following Anxin’s wishes, which sometimes led to unexpected situations back in Sangwon’s dorm room. Anxin explained his behavior by referencing ovulation.
If Anxin continued to act this way, using ovulation as justification, Sangwon worried he might fall behind at work or on his exams.
Once, he even confessed this to Leo, asking if he had experienced something similar with Jiahao. Leo laughed, then told him that he had also lost composure in front of his omega, letting them take the lead. Perhaps that was true.
In any case, Leo didn’t give him a very useful answer. Later, Sanghyeon, who overheard their conversation, remarked that Leo had indeed let himself be vulnerable with Jiahao, fulfilling every request. After that, Leo never laughed at Sangwon again.
But he doesn't have time for those thoughts right now. Not at all, when Anxin suddenly whines for a long time, the sound reverberates throughout the room, overriding the song from Sangwon's playlist playing in the background, and then suddenly squeezes Sangwon especially hard. A pleasant current runs through Sangwon all the way to his feet when he feels these warm, tight walls squeezing his dick. Something warm spreads in his chest, and he doesn't hold back, he comes almost on a par with omega, filling his insides with hot liquid. It's so unusual, but it feels so damn good that he moans, squeezes his waist tighter, and then strokes Anxin's lower abdomen, as if encouraging him for such fullness, for the opportunity to feel this pleasant moist warmth.
Sangwon comes out of it after a minute when the feeling is gone. He sees a white stripe following his dick out of Anxin, glistening on the delicate skin of omega's thighs, and holds back another moan of pleasure from this view. He plops down on the pillow, still breathing heavily, and pulls Anxin to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and massaging the wet skin on his lower back. After sex, it's a necessary ritual — hugging, even if the skin is sticky with sweat and other liquids.
Anxin is usually too lazy to go straight to the shower. And even after a few hours, if they don't have to go anywhere, he walks around in just Sangwon's tee on slightly shaky tired legs. And if they need to go somewhere — for example, when Anxin suddenly came to class and picked him up, and then they had sex, although they had other plans — they immediately go to the shower, but when they go about their business, Anxin spams alpha with messages about how great he still feels stretched out by a big dick. Sangwon never admits to him that such messages make his blood boil, and not only in his veins.
On such days, he has to restrain himself, work behind the counter of a coffee shop, make coffee, put a smile on his face while serving customers, ignoring the heat of the body. But then, when they meet, he takes it out, and Anxin goes quiet for a few days, but he walks around happy, like a kitten who has drunk all the milk.
Today, Sangwon doesn't let omega just lie in bed. After ten minutes of hugging, he pulls away, sits on the bed, ignores the displeased whimpering sound from Anxin, slaps his butt and looks around in search of his sweatpants. They're lying under the bed. He pulls them on over his naked body and turns to look at Anxin, who is watching him curiously, watching how low these gray sweatpants hang, and how they do not hide the outline of his dick.
“You need to eat,” he says lazily, walking over to the bag he had dropped on the floor when they entered his room, running a hand through his hair. “I brought something from the coffee shop, you absolutely need to eat, Anxin-ie.”
“Well, hyung…” Anxin whines again, stretching out on the bed.
“No objections, little one,” Sangwon gently interrupts him, switching into his caring hyung mode, and hands him a chicken and vegetable sandwich along with a cold coffee drink.
♡
Visiting hospitals usually doesn’t cause discomfort or fear for Anxin. The sterile smell and soft light don’t repel him. He just goes to the appointment, quickly goes through the examination, and returns home. Nothing complicated or exciting. Only the thought that it is necessary, because it’s about health, and he needs to take care of it. However, today, right now in the Obstetrics & Gynecology center, everything is different. It’s very frightening. And no cute stickers on the walls clearly do not relieve anxiety, and perhaps even the opposite. These silly little stickers only remind him of where he is. The Obstetrics & Gynecology center. A hospital for pregnant people. He is so scared that he clutches his windbreaker, which he had already taken off earlier in the underground parking and is now holding in his hands, even though Sangwon offered to carry it. He is worried not so much about what the doctor will say in the end — whether the pregnancy is confirmed or not — but about how strange it feels that he came here at all, that this is happening to him and not someone else, that he will have to lie down and lift his sweater for the ultrasound.
“Anxin-ah?” Sangwon strokes his back with such a concerned expression that Anxin feels embarrassed for making the alpha worry so much. This reminds him that Sangwon is also scared. The thought of pregnancy worries both of them, but Sangwon is additionally concerned about needing to protect Anxin, to guard him and take care of him. Because he feels the weight of responsibility on his shoulders. Something in his subconscious tells him to get it together and take care of the omega. Pregnant omega.
His pregnant omega.
“What?” Anxin responds, squeezing Sangwon’s hand as he approaches with some document. “What is this, hyung?”
“It’s a patient form. I’ve already filled it out, so we can go to the office and wait to be called,” Anxin takes the sheet and scans it. It really is just a personal information form that, in theory, Anxin should have filled out himself. He blinks in confusion as Sangwon gently pulls him toward the elevator. “It’s fine. You’re very anxious, and it’s not hard for me to write down the simplest information about you and your health. Let’s go. We’re going to the third floor.”
On the ticket Sangwon got at registration, all the information about which office they need is listed. They sit near the door, which has a sign that says Obstetrics & Gynecology Dr. Kim Ra-on. Above the door, a red light is on, and on the display next to the number A-07 — Anxin’s ticket number — a message says to wait before being called. He’s now even more nervous than a few minutes ago. This is probably the most exciting and anxious moment of his life.
“Don’t worry,” Sangwon says reassuringly, putting his hand on Anxin’s knee. This attempt to calm him doesn’t work. Anxin is too, too anxious.
A minute later, the green light above the door turns on, indicating they can go in. They stand, Anxin exhales one last time, and they enter, realizing this appointment will forever change their lives. The office is very cozy, soft pink walls, gentle dim lighting, an ultrasound machine, a screen, a patient chair for lying down for the ultrasound, a partner’s chair, and a doctor’s desk with a computer and folders. They are greeted by a nurse with a polite smile and a slight bow.
“Hello! May I have your ticket, please?” Sangwon flushes slightly at the question, but quickly recovers and hands over the ticket. The nurse checks it. “Ah, first appointment for a prenatal checkup?”
“Yes,” Anxin nods, twirling the string of his hoodie.
“Great, now I’ll measure your blood pressure and weight. Leave your things here, please, and come this way,” the nurse explains everything softly and simply. Sangwon helps Anxin put his things aside and move deeper into the office. His parameters are measured quickly, without delay. “Ah, all perfect. Now I’ll give you a cup for tests, please provide a urine sample. The restroom is right here.”
It’s convenient that the restroom is directly in the office. Anxin doesn’t have to go out. The nurse guides him to the restroom, while Sangwon stays in the office, which isn’t long at all, as Anxin comes back in just a few minutes and hands the cup to the nurse, who then leaves to deliver the tests to the lab, telling them they need to wait a bit before the obstetrician returns. Sangwon pulls the omega close until he sits next to him. Their fingers intertwine, and he gently presses Anxin’s hand to reassure him, guessing what he’s thinking and worrying about.
“All right?” he leans forward slightly, looking at the omega’s face, seeing confusion and echoes of fear. He can only imagine how Anxin feels right now.
“Just nervous,” Anxin sighs and slightly lifts the corners of his lips, perhaps to calm himself. His gaze flicks between Sangwon and the clock on the doctor’s desk.
“That’s normal,” Sangwon pats his lower back, then starts rubbing in circles. And although this probably doesn’t calm Anxin much, it shows that he’s nearby, ready to support him at any moment.
So they sit like that until the doctor finally enters. A smiling woman in a soft pink medical uniform, with gentle eyes that make a person feel at ease from the first moment.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Kim Raon, an obstetrician-gynecologist,” she approaches the desk with the same smile and examines something among the documents and the working tablet. “You came to confirm a pregnancy, right?”
Anxin nods. “Yes.”
“I’ll ask you a few questions before the nurse brings your test results,” she gently explains. “These are the most common questions about your health, so don’t worry. When was your last cycle? Please tell me the first day of your new cycle.”
“August first,” Sangwon hears a slight hesitation in Anxin’s voice. Of course, he’s scared — even just answering the question is frightening.
“Got it,” Dr. Kim inputs the information into the computer, listening attentively. “Do you have any cycle issues? Is it regular?”
“No problems, always on time.”
“Can you estimate when conception occurred?” This question makes Anxin exhale quietly in surprise.
“Oh, well…” He simply didn’t expect such a question, so his reaction is completely understandable. “August fifteenth. We usually use protection, and that day we didn’t. Then my new cycle didn’t start on August twenty-ninth. And yesterday I did a pregnancy test.”
“As of today, you are twelve days late,” the doctor turns to Anxin with a reassuring smile, having recorded all the necessary information. “That’s normal. Most omegas notice something unusual in their bodies around this time. Have you noticed any changes besides the delay?”
“If only a change in behavior, because I’ve become irritable. Sensitivity to smells appeared. And maybe… I feel uncomfortable if Sangwon is even somewhat far from me,” Anxin points to Sangwon. “Even just from the slight scent on his hoodie, I feel much more comfortable.”
Anxin hadn’t told him this before. So hearing it now feels strangely good. These words hit his heart and warm it, making it beat faster. It’s pleasant to realize how Anxin feels more at ease with his scent nearby. It’s so touching that he wants to just hug the omega and wrap him in his smell, give him a sense of protection, immerse him in care, attention, and love. But for now, he just squeezes his hand tighter. It’s unnoticeable to the doctor, but Anxin feels it.
“That’s completely normal,” the doctor says calmly and softly. “During pregnancy, hormones take over the mind. Irritability, sensitivity to smells, vulnerability appear. The scent of the alpha helps you stay afloat, because a familiar, native scent makes you feel protected.”
Anxin can only nod at the obstetrician’s words when the nurse returns, already carrying medical documents she hands to the doctor, then steps aside silently, ready for instructions. Dr. Kim quickly examines the test results, smiles, and looks back at them.
“Yes, the results are in. There’s hCG in the urine — you are indeed pregnant,” these words make Anxin hold his breath for a few seconds. It’s really true. He is pregnant. “As of today, your pregnancy is five weeks and five days, so we can’t see everything through the abdomen yet. To get a precise image, we’ll do a transvaginal ultrasound.”
“Uh… trans… what?” Sangwon frowns.
The obstetrician smiles. “Transvaginal. That’s an ultrasound through the vagina. This way we see early pregnancy better.”
“Ah, I see… sorry.”
“That’s fine, many aren’t familiar with this. Now you’ll know,” the obstetrician sighs. “Anxin-ssi, I’ll ask a few more questions. Any painful sexual activity recently?”
Anxin hopes his cheeks aren’t too red, because he definitely feels the blood rushing to them.
“Oh, no…”
“Good. Any pain in the lower abdomen?”
“No…”
“Have you had a transvaginal ultrasound before?”
“Never.”
“All right,” the obstetrician nods with a smile and stands. “Don’t worry, these questions are necessary to safely perform the ultrasound. It shouldn’t cause pain, but there may be slightly unusual sensations. Go behind the screen, undress from the waist down, and cover yourself with the sheet. Leave your clothes on the chair. Lie on the examination table, bend your knees, and spread them slightly. I’ll come as soon as you’re ready.”
Anxin gets up and goes behind the screen, feeling both fear and embarrassment at the same time. He’s never had this procedure before, so it’s very hard to accept what he’s doing. Behind the screen, he feels more comfortable; it creates a sense of privacy. Even Sangwon doesn’t see him, which is great, because it would be very awkward for Anxin to undress in front of him, even though the alpha has seen him naked many times. This is not the same. He’s too embarrassed. The nurse also enters behind the screen and carefully lays a disposable medical sheet on the gynecological chair — a thin soft sheet with a waterproof base. The sheet rustles quietly as it’s spread over the chair. Anxin takes off his shoes and quickly removes his lower clothing, then lies on the gynecological chair. The nurse covers his legs with the sheet and leaves the screen.
Dr. Kim arrives right after the nurse leaves, sits on the chair in front of the ultrasound machine, puts on gloves, takes the long ultrasound probe, and covers it with something resembling a condom. Anxin isn’t sure and doesn’t want to ask. He swallows hard, feeling nervous. The light in the office dims, and it becomes quieter, with only the soft hum of the ultrasound machine and the sound of gel being applied to the probe. If anything, he feels cold, either from the air conditioning or from nerves.
“Now I’ll insert the probe. Please try to relax your muscles. Tell me if it’s uncomfortable,” Anxin nods and mentally prepares for the unusual sensation. “Take a deep breath… Good. The probe is inside, slowly exhale. I’ll rotate the probe slightly, there’s no pain.”
It’s just an unfamiliar sensation. Of course, he wants it to be over quickly, but it’s normal, there’s no pain or real discomfort. He just needs to relax so the ultrasound goes smoothly and safely. Nothing as scary as he thought.
A few moments pass before the doctor smiles and nods, pressing buttons on the ultrasound machine.
“We found it. Partner, please come closer,” after the doctor’s invitation, Sangwon comes to the side, slightly flustered but with shining eyes. Dr. Kim slightly turns the monitor toward Anxin so he can see as well and points at the screen. “Here. Do you see? This is the gestational sac in the uterus. This is a healthy, normal pregnancy.”
“This… this is a baby?” Sangwon’s eyes widen as he sees a black unclear spot on the screen, some unidentifiable movement.
Dr. Kim smiles gently, she’s used to hearing this question. “That dark area is the gestational sac. And inside, see the small light dot? That’s the developing embryo. In the next ultrasound, you’ll see it much more clearly.”
“Ah, I see…” Sangwon exhales, feeling a pleasant warmth in his chest, and turns his gaze to Anxin, who is already looking at him. He smiles slightly.
“The heartbeat is already visible — that’s a very good sign at this stage. We won’t listen to it yet, it’s too early, but see? The little heart is already beating. Everything is going perfectly. You’ll hear the heartbeat at the first screening during your next visit.”
“The heart is already beating…” Anxin murmurs warmly.
“Of course, your future baby is still very tiny, but the heart is already beating,” the gentle words of the doctor sound like thick honey. “The procedure is complete. I’ll carefully remove the probe. Everything went perfectly, the pregnancy is progressing well, the fetus corresponds to your week of pregnancy.”
When the doctor removes the probe, the nurse comes with paper towels. “Here, wipe off the gel.”
♡
“So, well, congratulations on a healthy pregnancy,” the obstetrician says, now sitting at the desk with her hands folded in front of her. “The beginning of the pregnancy is already established. Now all you need to do is take vitamins — I’ll write down which ones you need, come on time for ultrasounds or other checkups, and follow the recommendations. Avoid stress, don’t overwork your body, make sure to take folic acid — it’s included in the vitamins in the right amount. Eat plenty of nutritious foods. That’s the most important. Any other recommendations will be in your medical chart, please review them. Do you have any questions for me?”
“No questions, thank you,” Anxin bows politely.
Dr. Kim nods with a gentle smile. “Then I’ll see you at your next appointment. If you experience severe pain, bleeding, or anything unusual — contact us immediately.”
Afterwards, they leave the office, thanking the obstetrician and nurse, not forgetting to take their things. Sangwon insistently manages to take everything from Anxin’s hands and carry it himself, as if Anxin would fall apart carrying anything heavier than his phone. This makes him wonder what will happen later, when the belly starts to show? Will he be carrying him in his arms?
“So, what should we do now?” Anxin asks as they step outside. In Seoul, September is still fairly warm, but the approaching autumn chill is starting to be felt. And although the temperature is quite high and the morning sun is shining, Sangwon makes sure Anxin is wearing his windbreaker. “Now…”
Sangwon sighs. Yes, it’s complicated. After all, they are students, attending university and living in a dorm.
“We’ll find a solution.”