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It was New Years Eve when Avery fell off the edge of the platform, watched by the hundreds, thousands of eyes surrounding him and Derek. When he respawns, it is back in the cave where he first found that book signed d3rlord.
At his desk, Avery jumped and leaned forward until his nose was barely an inch away from the screen. It glitched out briefly, a black screen replacing the stone of the mine for a split second. Simultaneously, the street lamps outside his college dorm flickered.
The brief absence of light was enough to tear his eyes away from the computer screen and throw his gaze wildly around the room.
The first thing to catch his eye was the flashing red numbers on the digital clock beside his unmade bed.
They read 8:08.
The time he had logged into the world that day.
He scrambled over to his window and tugged aside the curtains.
The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon.
He flopped back onto the bed and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until fluorescent patterns began to swirl against his eyelids.
“What.”
He returned to his computer, still dazed. The time of his phone read the same, as did the time on the computer as did the time on his watch. The date read as the thirty first of December.
“What is going on?” He whispered to the screen.
Scrolling through chat, he found the singular message of “TheMostMayo logged on”, was the only one there.
He switched his gamemode to creative and followed the same path he had sixteen hours prior.
He still turned left at the crossroads, the gates still held a gold block, the still switched his gamemode to survival, the first gate still held a mess of skyscraper mountains and roping bridges spanning the chasms between them, along with that giant tree. The second one still harboured those intimidating towers that glared down any visitor or passer-bys, that room filled with floating candles. The third the endless orange desert with ruined granite arches on every dune. The fourth the endless crimson plains filled with those empty, eerie white houses, and the fifth the sandy, empty village, that bled into that watery fortress, that hid the gates that opened into that haunting walled garden.
He had learned this time. He didn’t waste twelve hours as a servant of that church, but he did pause at Derek’s message.
“You are real.”
“You are special.”
“Remember who you are.”
He didn’t waste time on the redstone in the sixth world, and travelled straight to that book in the seventh.
When Derek broke the block beneath him, he played it like it was their first time meeting.
He attempts to copy most of what he said before, and found that much of it came naturally.
“It’s you.” “I found you.” “Oh my god I found you.”
He does not expect the relief that crashes over him at seeing someone so familiar, so reassuring, in a sea of unfamiliarity. Of course, he has done this before. He has traced this very past before. But none of his surroundings are all that comforting. None are like the player, the person standing in front of him.
Then the darkness hit and the same blank, fuzziness filled his mind. A soft, static buzz rang in his ears, and his head felt as though it was filled with cotton wool. He stared at the screen without actually seeing anything.
And then he was pulled back to reality, and found himself staring at the wall of the mine all over again. He repeated, his fourth journey through the worlds of the King. He did it with monotony. It was routine at this point. That one level of a video game you just couldn’t pass no matter how hard you tried, repeated over and over.
He learned Derek’s name, he went to the top of the tree to find only a gate, not the gold he was told would be there, he travelled to that looming castle, and found Derek. He argued, pleaded, to no avail.
This time he didn’t open his inventory. It didn’t matter.
Derek still pushed him off, and when he looked at his clock, it flashed 8:08 AM.
He did this over, and over, and over again. He began to lose count of the loops he had endured, and he began to get sloppy. He made stupid mistakes, and shed many a tear.
One loop he didn’t even do anything. He simply curled up on his bed, computer still on, and watched his clock. It reset to 8:08 every time.
He didn’t remember the first time he told Derek about the loop.
He told him again and again. He left out some details. He left out how long he had spent repeating the same actions over and over and over again. He left out the fact he had forgotten just how long he had spent there. He left out the fact he was doomed to repeat this cycle until he saved Derek.
Every loop he told Derek about it. By the next one he had forgotten.
One time, he finally relented and told the other the full truth: he was stuck in an unending time loop that he couldn’t escape until he saved the other.
This stumped Derek. Initially, he didn’t believe Avery. After all, he knew everything that was, everything that is and everything that will be, and yet he did not know of this loop?
It took Avery telling him everything he knew about him for him to believe him.
Avery didn’t know much, but once he told him his name, Derek seemed to trust that.
Avery quizzed him to no end about it. “If you’re all knowing, then shouldn’t you know this?” (“I should. I don’t know why I don’t.”) Do you know how to fix this?” (“...Maybe. I need to think.”) “Do you know why this is happening? (“I think I have an idea.”) “Derek, please help. I don’t understand. I’m going insane over this. Please.” (“I’m sorry”)
The two stood in the small wooden room beneath the lectern that told the story of the King. Derek was silent for a long, long while.
He typed a message in chat.
“I think I understand.”
Avery, who had been resting his chin on his hands, staring intently at the collection of pixels that he knew as Derek, jumped up and reached for the keyboard with shaking hands.
“You do?”
“Avery.”
“That’s your timeloop.”
“You made it.”
“What?”
“You need to accept it.”
“I died.”
“I’m dead.”
“I don’t think you can save me.”
“No.”
“Avery.”
“No no no.”
“There’s a way.”
“There has to be a way.”
“There has to be a way Derek!”
“I can’t just let you die!”
“Avery, there is no other way.”
And Avery was crying. Fat, salty tears dripped off his chin. His hands shook ceaselessly. There had to be another way.
“I’m sorry.”
The rest of the loop continued as normal. They don’t talk. Avery never talks with Derek on the bridges, and Derek never talks to him on the King’s platform.
It was the next loop when Avery finally wonders, why? Why was he so willing to spend eternity clinging onto the sliver of hope that Derek could be saved? Why? Why did he care so much about a man he had never met in person, a man he had met through Minecraft of all things?
He pondered this question for several more loops. He never brought it up to Derek again. He didn’t exactly ponder the question. It was more so the question plagued him, nagging in the back of his head. An incessant little snake that whispered the same word over and over. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
It wasn't until many loops later that it finally hit Avery.
They were back in the library. Back beneath the story of the King.
And then he realised.
He was in love with Derek.
He was absolutely and utterly in love with Derek.
He typed a single, “Oh.” into chat.
In the real world, he pushed himself back on his chair, and covered his mouth with his hands.
Well fuck.
Derek typed a question mark.
Avery brought his hands up to his cheeks.
When had that happened? Was it when he found the book? When they first met? When Derek pushed him off? Sometime during the endless loop?
He was in love with Derek.
Did he tell him? Surely? If he didn’t already know that was. Shit, did he already know? Had he acted like a fool? Fuck.
He returned to his computer to find a series of slightly panicked messages from Derek.
He responded with some excuse about his roommate coming into his room. Derek accepted this without a question.
Avery decided he wouldn’t tell Derek. There was no point anyways. He would just forget by the next loop.
It only took three loops for Avery to break the promise he made to himself.
They were back in that library again. Gosh, Avery was sick of these worlds. The same thing every single time. It was frankly exhausting.
He didn’t bother with formalities.
When Derek broke the wood beneath his feet, he sent four messages in chat.
“Hey Derek.”
“I’ve been stuck in a time loop for a LONG time.”
“Oh also I’m in love with you.”
“Haha, crazy, am I right.”
A long pause. Then,
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“How long have you been in this time loop?”
“I can’t remember.”
“Oh.”
Another long pause.
“Well, uh, I’m also in love with you.”
“If it makes you feel better lol.”
“Cool :)”
Avery cringed at himself. Gosh he was really going to have to get better at that.
— — — — — —
Every loop, Avery tells Derek two things: he’s stuck in a timeloop, and he’s in love with him. It’s incredibly awkward the first few times, but he gets better at it as time goes on.
He learns about Derek. He learns about his favourite colour, and his birthday, and his family, and his life before he met the king. Every loop he falls a bit more in love with him.
He will never leave the time loop. He will spend the rest of time unable to let go of the man he fell in love with. He will trade his life in the outside world for eternity with a man who is doomed to die a thousand, million times over.