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There had always been a soft ache at the back of Nie Huaisang’s chest. A small, dull ache whenever he was in the Cloud Recesses, just enough to leave him out of breath when he spotted Lan Wangji, and a full on throb whenever he thought of Wei Wuxian.
Nie Huaisang had no clue when it had started. Maybe during their first time at the Cloud Recesses at 15, watching the two of them in the library through the window, hoping for Wei Wuxian’s help on his schoolwork. It was certainly there after the incident in Xuanwu's cave, but his nervousness at getting home alive to see his brother had overridden any action he had wanted to take. He had learned to ignore it during the Sunshot campaign, too focused on his work for his sect while the other two were off on the battlefield. Though, when he had heard through the grapevine that Wei Wuxian was missing, the dull ache that he had previously began to grow, into the ache that he has today.
Nie Huaisang had assumed that the ache was envy. He had assumed that both of their prowess on the battlefield had made him envy them, with no clear way to help his brother as he went through qi deviation. His scheming is useful, yes, but only useful against another schemer that had acquired his ire.
Nie Huaisang kept his eyes on Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, watching the two embrace each other in the middle of Guanyin Temple. His heart pounded, watching them silently, watching Wei Wuxian wrap his arms tightly around Lan Wangji, hearing their casual declarations of love despite the danger. Nie Huaisang’s heart pounds.
Nie Huaisang isn’t and has never been jealous of them, he realizes with a start, smack dab in the middle of his grand plan. He wanted to hear those words from Wei Wuxian. He wanted Lan Wangji’s small smile directed at him, both of them wrapping their arms around him in a tight grip of comfort after his brother’s death. He wasn’t jealous of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. He’s in love with them. His world tips upside down.
Nie Huaisang will end up taking this secret to his grave, watching the two lovers during the end of his plan in Yunping. The two lovers holding each other tight, small whispers of affection while others are present.
Nie Huaisang holds his smile, keeping a soft hand on Lan Xichen’s back. As much as he hated using his brother’s true sworn brother as a pawn, it had to be done. Jin Guangyao had to be killed somehow.
Lan Xichen stares at Nie Huaisang, his eyes sad. “For your brother, right?” He asks quietly, making Nie Huaisang look up at him.
“Yes.” Nie Huaisang confirms, not wanting to break the man’s heart even more. “If…” His voice cracks slightly, and he takes a deep breath. “If I could bring him back, I would.”
Lan Xichen nods quietly, looking back ahead at his own brother, and Nie Huaisang’s heart quietly skips a beat.
He had spent so much time at the Cloud Recesses after Wei Wuxian’s death, at Lan Xichen’s request, trying to lighten him up after his punishment. However, there was nothing Nie Huaisang could have done- Lan Wangji could only be cheered up by people and things that Wei Wuxian had touched or impacted. And while Nie Huaisang was, now admittedly, a little desperate for Lan Wangji’s attention, he simply wasn’t that desperate. Not desperate enough to take advantage of Lan Wangji’s grief and steal Wei Wuxian’s place in his heart. All he could do was watch in silence, watching Lan Wangji talk quietly to A-Yuan, watch Lan Wangji grow into a father figure Wei Wuxian would be proud of.
And now, there is absolutely nothing Nie Huaisang can do.
But when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji turn to face him, Nie Huaisang’s heart leaps into his throat, and he feels his face heating up.
Lan Xichen gives him a small smile, the pain in his heart still evident. “Go, Huaisang. I can find my way home on my own.”
Nie Huaisang almost chokes on his own spit, staring up at Lan Xichen in complete awe. He can barely say anything, only glancing back at Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian simply waves, then beckons him over. “C’mon, Huaisang!”
Nie Huaisang swears his heart almost comes out of his throat.
Lan Wangji turns back to face Wei Wuxian, as silent as he’s ever been.
Nie Huaisang stumbles forward, picking up the pace to meet the two where they are.
“What an interesting plan.” Wei Wuxian grins, staring back at Nie Huaisang. His heart sinks in his chest. No wonder. “What else did you have in store, hm?”
“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji speaks, admonishing his partner.
“What? Can’t a guy ask? I mean, I’m not complaining, it got me with Lan Zhan, but still!” Wei Wuxian says, looking back over at his partner for a moment. “Hey, Lan Zhan, do you think we could get married?”
“Focus.” Lan Wangji answers, nodding back towards Nie Huaisang, who has naturally gravitated a couple steps back from them.
“Oh, right! What would I do without you, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian smiles, focusing his attention back on Nie Huaisang. “So, Huaisang.”
“Yes, Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang is trying desperately to keep his voice under control, keep it from cracking as he looks between the two of them.
Wei Wuxian smiles. “Lan Zhan noticed you were staring out into space for a bit after you were captured.”
Nie Huaisang almost stops in his tracks, thinking back. The only time he would have, while his plan was going on… Would have been his realization. Nie Huaisang desperately pushes down a blush, pulling his fan out quickly and fluttering it in front of his face. He lets his face relax, a blush almost certainly visible on his cheeks. “Hm? I was?”
Wei Wuxian stares at him for a moment, before quickly pulling down Nie Huaisang’s fan before he can react.
Nie Huaisang squawks, not unlike a bird he once took care of in his youth, before pulling the fan out of Wei Wuxian’s grip. He desperately looks between the two of them, sincerely hoping, desperately hoping that nothing has changed. That he can still stand by the two of them anyway. Even despite the fact that nothing had been said.
When Nie Huaisang’s eyes finally rest on Lan Wangji’s face, he sees a smile.
Not a classic Lan Wangji smile to his brother, or when he finds something half amusing, but a full on smile.
Both Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang stop dead in their tracks, staring at him.
Lan Wangji stops as well, the smile disappearing off his face to turn and stare at them.
“What?” Lan Wangji questions, looking at both of them.
“Lan Zhan, that was so cute! You need to do that again!” Wei Wuxian cries, wrapping his arms around Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “You have to, that was so attractive!”
Nie Huaisang has stopped functioning. “I…” He stutters. “I… I, I don’t… Huh?”
Wei Wuxian looks back at him, laughing quietly. “Oh no, Lan Zhan! You broke Huaisang!”
Lan Wangji blinks, quietly moving towards Nie Huaisang, taking him by the shoulders. “Huaisang.”
Wei Wuxian stands next to Lan Wangji, his eyes also trained on Nie Huaisang’s face.
“Um… Yes?” Nie Huaisang looks between both of them. “Um… is there something I’m missing? I feel like I’m missing something.”
Wei Wuxian laughs softly, moving behind Nie Huaisang and holding onto his shoulders. “So you didn’t hear us? I told you, Lan Zhan!”
Lan Wangji nods slightly, his eyes trained on both of them, the tips of his ears flushed a bright red.
“Lan Zhan insisted that you could hear what we were talking about inside Guanyin temple.” Wei Wuxian grins, leaning on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder. Nie Huaisang can’t help the blush that spreads over his cheeks, and how they heat up even more after spotting the small smile on Lan Wangji’s lips.
“And…” Nie Huaisang bites back his habit of lifting the fan to his face, willing to face both of them head-on. “What were you talking about?” He bites his lip slightly, and spots Lan Wangji’s eyes darkening slightly.
“You, mostly.” Wei Wuxian says, completely casually, like Nie Huaisang’s world hasn’t just shattered at the two words.
“Me?” Nie Huaisang looks back at Wei Wuxian. “Why me?”
Wei Wuxian laughs, holding Nie Huaisang’s shoulders. “I thought Lan Zhan was in love with you.”
Nie Huaisang stumbles unexpectedly, and coincidentally, right into Lan Wangji’s arms.
“Careful.” Lan Wangji catches his arms gently, helping him back up.
Nie Huaisang turns back to face Wei Wuxian. “Me?! You thought he was in love with me?!”
Wei Wuxian grins. “Didn’t I just say that? You have to forgive me, okay? You were the only thing he talked about when I wasn’t chatting with him or taking his attention.”
Nie Huaisang stumbles again, directly onto Lan Wangji’s chest. Nie Huaisang looks up at him, finding Lan Wangji’s face dusted pink. Nie Huaisang gapes, looking between the two of them.
“Are you alright, Huaisang?” Lan Wangji’s voice is soft, clearly not understanding why he had stumbled.
“Ye-Yeah, I’m fine.” Nie Huaisang opens his fan again, fanning his face instead of just fluttering it by his nose.
Wei Wuxian grins. “Oh, really? Your face is all red.”
Nie Huaisang pouts, testing the waters. If the two of them actually liked him, which he was beginning to suspect at this point, maybe they would stop if they saw that he wasn’t very fond of the teasing.
“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji quietly wraps an arm around Nie Huaisang’s shoulders, making his face almost flush anew. So, he was right, but only half so. Lan Wangji was susceptible to his face, but Wei Wuxian might not be.
“What?” Wei Wuxian pouts as well.
Nie Huaisang resists the urge to grin, very clearly realizing this was about to become a battle of wits. His grin naturally falls when he realizes that he might be the one to lose.
“Let A-Sang think it over.” Lan Wangji finishes, making Nie Huaisang the victor of the battle of wits.
Nie Huaisang thinks - mid-process, as his face heats up and his fan almost falls to the ground, that Lan Wangji is the clear winner of this battle of wits.
Wei Wuxian smiles, his hands gentle on Nie Huaisang’s shoulders. “I told you that would kill him, Lan Zhan. You murdered him!”
Nie Huaisang barely has the energy to send Wei Wuxian a glare.
Lan Wangji simply gives both of them a small smile. “The nickname is unimportant, mostly.”
Nie Huaisang’s eyebrows furrow.
Oh.
The thought clicks in place. For someone who had just spent most of his time planning an elaborate scheme to get his brother’s murderer killed, he was a little slow when it came to matters of his own heart. Case in point, realizing that he was in love with the two of them a max of one incense time ago.
Wei Wuxian thought Lan Wangji was in love with him because he was showing signs of loving him.
There’s a serene smile on Nie Huaisang’s face as he turns to the two of them. While not technically a rejection, he has to at least want to expand their feelings to try and-
“Oh dear.” muses Wei Wuxian. “Lan Zhan, I think he’s come to the wrong conclusion.”
Lan Wangji nods, picking Nie Huaisang up by his hips and setting him on their newly-acquired donkey.
Nie Huaisang looks between them. “Huh? Wait, what? How-”
Wei Wuxian smiles slightly. “You think that I hadn’t spent enough time with you at the Cloud Recesses to notice that totally unsatisfied smile you have on your face? It’s like you got caught cheating but still marginally passed the test.”
Nie Huaisang shifted as much as he could on a donkey, a little uncomfortable at someone being able to actually read his expressions rather than what would have normally happened if it was anyone else.
Lan Wangji nods quietly, but his eyes are more focused on the road and leading them to their next destination- which Nie Huaisang silently hopes is Qinghe.
Wei Wuxian smiles. “Well, I was slightly jealous of him at the same time as that talk. Does that help you at all?”
Nie Huaisang drops his fan.
Wei Wuxian snorts, picking it up quickly before the donkey can step on it. “Oh dear.”
“Oh dear.” Lan Wangji repeats, giving him a small nod. “Maybe…”
“Nah, we definitely should not have waited. We agreed, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian tries to put Nie Huaisang’s fan back into his hand, but his hand is still incredibly open and not willing to take things while his brain deeply processes something.
Wei Wuxian very evidently tries not to laugh, small snorts escaping from him.
Nie Huaisang grabs his fan, tapping Wei Wuxian’s hand with no malice whatsoever. “Shut up.” He mumbles, his face burning red.
Wei Wuxian grins. “No can do, A-Sang.”
Nie Huaisang hides his face in his hands for a change, the handle of his fan pressing against his cheekbone.
Lan Wangji huffs quietly, as close to a laugh as one can get for him. “You broke him.”
“You did first!” Wei Wuxian points back at him. “I just thought it would be nice for him to hear it from both of us!”
Nie Huaisang lifts his head. “Um, actually. I would… like a confirmation of what I think is true. If… If you both wouldn’t mind.” His voice sounded pretty small, even to himself. It was almost like he was 15 again, watching the two become close at the Cloud Recesses.
Lan Wangji takes Nie Huaisang’s open hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I like you, A-Sang.” He murmurs. “You were there for me when no one else was.”
Nie Huaisang’s heart squeezes gently, staring at Lan Wangji as the reality of his situation actually sinks in.
Wei Wuxian wraps a hand around Nie Huaisang’s, making his forefinger wrap gently around the fan so it doesn’t drop. Wei Wuxian smiles, squeezing his hand as tightly as he can. “I like you, A-Sang.”
Nie Huaisang can barely hear the words coming out of his own mouth due to his heartbeat. “I like you both too.”
Wei Wuxian laughs, gently pulling Nie Huaisang off the donkey and embracing him tightly. “A-Sang! Oh, I’m so glad, you know that?”
Nie Huaisang leans on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, closing his eyes and letting himself relax for the first time since his brother died.