Chapter Text
"Rodiums— before you go..." Drift rushed to his amica before he made his way into the pod. This is going to be the last time they talk and he will get enough word out of Rodimus for their last moment, standing outside Rodimus' pod as he leaned in the door looking at Rodimus. "...Do you think it worked?" He couldn't do anything for his amica, but he could hope for at least an answer from him.
"I know it was years ago, and I know Nautica said it was a long shot, but... I've been thinking about it A lot now that Ratty's gone." This is it. His digit twitching, the dread feeling inside him, and Rodimus knew it would come. Rodimus frowned, looking doleful, which didn't help the mood of this very last conversation of theirs. "We agreed never to talk about it.", Pinching his nose bridge in frustration.
"Please for me." Drift pleaded, hoping for at least something from Rodimus. The uncomfortable silence between them wasn't long before Rodimus gave in and answered. "I dunno, Drift. I dunno if it worked or not." Rodimus turned away as he couldn't look at Drift directly in his optics. He couldn't bear to watch the disappointment in his amica's optics, even worse the sympathy and guilt behind those optics of whom he called, his amica.
"I don't think we'll ever know. And....I think that's good, because it means we keep telling ourselves it did." Drift couldn't help but reach out to Rodimus as he accepted his servo. "It was good to see you again. Keep in touch?" There was a sense of small hope in that sentence.
Rodimus held his servo as he started to communicate in Chirolinguistics, simulating the nerve circuits in his digits. He always does this whenever he can't express his feelings or what he wants to say, and he knew, he knew this deep down. It's always been their thing, their way to communicate through comfort and trust - something between them that they never tell anyone else, except to each other. Drift couldn't help but let his EMF field out with trust and reassurance.
Rodimus tightens his servos around Drift's. "If I can find you, definitely."
"Promise?"
"promise." The brightness in Drift's optics made Rodimus feel better, maybe they're gonna meet one day again. Just not now...not at this moment.
Drift nodded and left Rodimus alone as he made his way back to where he belonged. Rodimus just sat there, behind one of Thunderclash's crew.
"Back to the Exitus, please." This is it. This is the last time they're gonna talk... Maybe not the last, if coincidence happens and they accidentally meet again but only Primus knew and he sure doesn't want to know... yet.
It left a long way onto the board and Rodimus can't stop thinking about it, how will his future go? It's not gonna be the same as Lostlight and he knows it but maybe he will find peace and happiness in there the way he felt on Lostlight.
He likes adventures and new experiences — "We're here now." Rodimus snapped out of his thought as he turned to look around. Here he is, on board Exitus, The Thunderclash's ship. He gets off the pod as he turns right and sees Thunderclash walking towards him with a big smile on his golden faceplate. "Hey, how was it at Ratchet's funeral?"
Rodimus turned up to him and Thunderclash noticed the expression on Rodimus's face, knowing things probably won't go the way he expected or know what is happening at all.
"Guess, it's not the time for that conversation huh. I can tell from your facial expression you're making right now." He smiled at Rodimus warmly, trying to bring up the mood although Rodimus is not at it right now. He doesn't want to talk right now, Rodimus seems annoyed at the fact that Thunderclash tries to cheer him up, it is...nice? But just not now. He doesn't want to talk to anyone at the moment and he wants to stay in his room, maybe doing something to distract himself. Recharging sounds good right now to him.
"I'm sorry, Thunderclash. I'm not in the mood right now. I'll be heading to my habsuite now."
"Oh?— uh, sorry about that then, mind if I walk you to your harb?" Rodimus groaned, he didn't have the energy to keep up a talk with him right now. "Fine... " Thunderclash smiled as he walked beside Rodimus, on their way to Rodimus' habsuite.
The walk was silent, no question asked, no crew they walk into and somehow it's comfortable. They made it to Rodimus' habsuite, he tapped in his codes till the door opened and he walked inside only to get stopped by Thunderclash. "Hey, I know thing gets hard sometime and it sucks bad, yeah but if you need someone to talk with or listen to your problem, then I'm here for you, you know?" Rodimus turned and stared at Thunderclash for more than a nanoklik.
Thunderclash could barely tell if he had suddenly ruined Rodimus's mood with his question. He perked up at Rodimus's signs. "I really appreciate your effort, Thunderclash but this is not the right time, not right now..." Noticing his barely bright- tired optics, Thunderclash backs down. "Oh, okay then. If you need anything, just comm me okay? Urgency or not, I'll let you know I'll answer your comm immediately." Thunderclash softens his optics.
"Well hope you have a good recharge and take care of yourself. Good recharge, Prime."
Rodimus closed the door of his habsuite as he stared at the room, Empty. Just a slab to recharge and a table with a chair and his stuff on the floor. He doesn't have time nor does he feel like he wanna do anything now, just get on the slab and that's it. Recharge, that's what he needs, right? It feels so wrong and different, he's so tired of it.
Why does everything go from good to bad and bad to good, it doesn't make sense in his logic. Maybe Primus doesn't like him at all but who knows? It's not like he's a spiritualist like Drift who believes in that kind of stuff anyway, maybe he does sometimes because of Drift?... Drift. He misses him. . . he misses their times together, their training times, their conversations, and deep talk. Oh, how he misses his amica so bad, if he even can call him his amica anymore because of the last conversation he just had with him. It has to be done because he doesn't want to annoy his Amica anymore with his implausible troubles and burdens, that's what he thought. Deep down he knows that Drift won't think or see the way he sees in himself, yet he can't bring himself to believe that.
Rodimus felt a lubricant fall down his faceplate, realizing he's getting emotional again. "Primus, I should be recharged by now, why am I such a mess?" He wiped that lubricant off as he shut off his optics hoping to fall into recharge.
It's been cycles and he's still online on his slab. Feeling annoyed as ever after a lot of sleeping positions to feel comfortable in his recharge but it seemed like none of them helped, he got up and sat on his slab as he groaned.
Maybe a walk around the board sounds nice right now... He thought as he decided to get up from his slab and leave his habsuite. No one is up at this cycle right now probably, so he shouldn't be worried about walking into anyone.
"Slag"
Rodimus sure is tired but he couldn't recharge either, and walking around the ship right now is what's on his mind. He starts walking and walking, turning left and right, passing by a few habsuites and medical rooms and more that he doesn't bother to remember.
It's been a decacyle but he kept on walking till he was nowhere he remembered on this board. "I'm so slag, oh primus."
This is his fault for just walking out and somehow he forgets where he comes from. He doesn't even remember every place on this board yet! And he doesn't want to stay here for anyone to walk in and see him, either.
Rodimus kept on walking but it's been a good long cycle passed by now after walking and he sure as pit doesn't even know where he is at this moment. The worst part is that he starts to get tired, the recharge deprivation is getting the better of him now.
Rodimus took a big sigh in frustration as he kept on walking till he got into the back of the ship somehow, although there was no one there. He took a few looks around the place and turned to the glass of space and stars.
Rodimus saw the couch as he sighed in relief. "Finally, I can sit now after walking all day." The fabric was soft after he sat on it. He slumped back onto the couch as he stared at the stars. He and Drift used to do this where one of them had to guess the name of the star and if one failed will have to pay for their drink. It was fun, cheerful, and somehow chaotic even. Rodimus chuckled at the memories of them in his thoughts.
For a while in silence, the tiredness got the best of him as he fell into a recharge on the couch.
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Nautica talked with Velocity as they walked in. "So, Firstaid is here too? On board with us?" Velocity shook her head as she smiled "Well. . . He told me he hadn't made up his mind yet if he wanted to stay on board with us and continue the journey of traveling or he wanna stay at Cybertron. Besides, why don't we sit and talk? I'm kinda tired of walking all day. " — The conversation went on as both of them went to the couch.
"You know, it would be nice to — wooa-OH!" Velocity felt something pooking her plates as she was trying to sit on it, only to turn wide optics and saw Rodimus sleeping on it. Nautica snorted as she covered her mouth with amusement.
"He sure does look real comfortable recharging there." Rodimus was recharging, drooling while snoring with his limbs tangling on the couch. Velocity couldn't help but chuckle as she turned to look at him.
"Should we wake him up...?" Velocity turned to Nautica.
"I mean he looks comfortable right there. Seems like where he wanna be." Nautica shrugged.
"Well guess I'll do it then." Velocity said as she shook Rodimus.
"Hey"
"Hey, Rod. Wake up," Rodimus moved but he didn't wake up as Velocity expected him to. "Hm. . . Not now... "Rodimus murmured, Nautica chuckled at Velocity's attempt to wake Rodimus up.
"Okay, how about this?" Nautica shoved Velocity aside as she got close to Rodimus. "What if I try this— "
Nautica immediately shoves her digits into Rodimus' red lids on the waist as her digits start wiggling.
It immediately shook Rodimus awake from his slumber. "Whoa- woa— HEY!— HAH H-HEY! STOP! that's tickling— STOP!!!" He screamed and laughed uncontrollably as he turned around panicking only to see Nautica laughing while Velocity cackling behind her.
"Phmpff- sorry about that, but it's probably the only thing that would wake you up from your beauty recharge." Nautica backed up as Rodimus got up and sat on the couch.
"So... How long have you been here, Rodimus?" Rodimus looks around trying to process what's happening after suddenly waking from his deep recharge. He processed only to feel dizzy and a sudden helmet ache, He frowned and groaned.
"Woah-you're good there, Rodimus? You look slag with those heavy eyebags." Nautica pointed out.
"Well, thanks for pointing out the obvious." Rodimus blurted out as he stood up, stretched his back strut and spoilers. He turned as he felt a servo on his shoulder plate, It's Velocity's. "Hey now, what got you so down?"
Rodimus shrugged. "Don't wanna talk about it." stroking his faceplate with his servos as he sighed. "I need to refuel."
"Why don't we go get you some energon cube? We can walk you there." Velocity said as she smiled lazily at Rodimus.
"Yeah! We can get some drinks and talk!" Nautica is cheering as ever as she smiles optic to optic at Rodimus. They make their way in the hall. Nautica decides to break the silence
"So uhm, what do you plan to do on board?"
It took a moment for Rodimus to realise Nautica was asking him. "Probably new adventures and maybe more fun things? I don't know actually but if it's for the adventure than yeah I'm here for that."
Later on, they make it to the bar. The trio takes a seat next to each other as one of them shouts out their order. Rodimus is surprised to find Hotshot working as the bartender.
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"Hey Rod guy." Rodimus snapped back into his vision as he saw someone's servos swaying up and down in front of his faceplate, Rodimus backed up as he stared at Hotshot. "Sorry about that— I zoned out. Can I have an energon cube? Just a normal one to fuel." Hotshot doesn't seem fazed by Rodimus as he went and came back with his cube and others.
"Here for you, Rod guy. You look... Well to put it in a way you look like you saw Overlord," Rodimus groaned. "I'm not in the mood for whatever joke you have right now."
"Well, not my fault for trying to lighten up the mood," Hotshot said as he grabbed a cloth to clean one of the cubes. Rodimus just shrugged as he took a sip, it taste sweet? A little too sweet for his own liking. "This is too sweet. . . Mind if you uh add some rust to make it less sweet?" Rodimus says as he hands back his Energon cube. "Sure big guy."
"Anyway, why are you here, You up for adventures too?" Rodimus raised one of his optics at Hotshot as he watched Hotshot mix his Energon.
"Well you know, thing gets boring on cybertron sometime and so I decided, why not go on board with the heroic Thunderclash on an adventure?" Hotshot answered with a smirk as he handed back his energon cube.
"What's so great about Thunderclash anyway? Everyone always praises him, slag he even got a fanbase too." Rodimus complained as he gulped down his energon.
"I think he's really pretty nice and optimistic though!" Nautica jumps into the conversation.
"Please don't tell me you're one of his fans too." Rodimus gave Nautica an unimpressed look. Velocity chuckles.
"Sorry, Rod. I think Nautica's right." Rodimus groans as he sits down on the bar counter.
"Hey now, Rodimus. This was supposed to feel the relief and yet you're still grumpy since the moment you woke up." Nautica said as she placed her servo on Rodimus's shoulder plate. In return, Rodimus shook her servo off.
"You tickled me out of my recharge!" Nautica can't help but laugh at Rodimus as he slumped his face back onto the bar counter.
"Enough making fun of him now, gal." Velocity shook Nautica playfully by the back strut.
The sound of the door opening catches the two's attention as they ststaret Thunderclash at the door. Thunderclash looked around as he spotted Rodimus with Nautica and Velocity at the bar counter, his face lit up as he waved and went to them.
"Hey, Captain! You here to refuel your energon?" Velocity raised her servo and she waved at Thunderclash.
Thunderclash returned his wave at Nautica. "Ah— no. Actually, I was hoping to find Rodimus in here." Thunderclash answered as he turned to Rodimus. Rodimus raised his optics at Thunderclash with a confusing look on his face. "You want to talk about it here?"
Thunderclash shook his helm. "Oh, this one is private between us as you can see." Thunderclash turned down and spot half of the energy radiation in Rodimus's cube. "Actually, it's not that urgent. You can finish your cube than we can go somewhere private and talk about it."
"Oh, uhm. Okay then..?" Rodimus immediately gulped down his half-energon radiation only to cough a bit after. Thunderclash turned widened optics at him.
"Whoa, when I said take your time, I mean it." Thunderclash tabbed a few times on his back strut. Velocity gave Rodimus an unimpressed look.
"What?" Rodimus stared back at Velocity. Thunderclash smiled awkwardly as he broke the tension between them. "Alright, let's not make this any more awkward than it already should be."
Rodimus turned to Thunderclash as he stood up and Thunderclash led him to the conference room. Thunderclash went to his desk as he pulled out the drawer trying to find something.
Thunderclash pulled out a box from the drawer and a letter. "Megatron had told me to give this to you when I met you, he also wrote a letter for you."
Rodimus took the gift with hesitation, bewildered at the mention of Megatron. "Is that....it?" Rodimus stared at Thunderclash.
Why in the world would Megatron send Thunderclash to give it to him, why not give it to him before they forever imprisoned him? That's weird.
"Something's okay, Rodimus?" Thunderclash asked, staring at Rodimus with his crimson optics. "No, nothing," Rodimus said as he clenched the letter in his servo. "Is there anything else?" Rodimus asked.
Thunderclash shook his helm. "No that's just it. Nothing else actually."
"Well then I'll have to go now. Thanks for handling me the box and letter... I guess?" Rodimus was unsure but he was grateful for it at least. He turns to leave the room only to stand there, not moving.
Thunderclash saw Rodimus standing there for a few nanokliks. "Uh, Rodimus? You okay there?"
"Could you actually take me back to my habsuite," Rodimus said as he turned to look at Thunderclash, he sighed. "I haven't got the time to explore this whole ship to know every place yet, could you at least help me Abit... I would appreciate that."
"Oh," Thunderclash said as he stared at Rodimus.
"Well, are you just gonna stay there or are you gonna help me to my habsuite?" Rodimus deadpans
"Ah! Right sorry about that! Sure sure I'll lead you to your hab." Thunderclash felt a little sheepish as he walked to Rodimus.
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"Alright, thanks for leading me to my hab." Rodimus stared at Thunderclash as he closed the door in his place before Thunderclash got to say anything.
He went to his desk and set the box on it, he stared at the letter in his servos. He doesn't know if he wanna read that letter yet he's also curious what the information is in that letter. He had a better question.
Why would Megatron make Thunderclash deliver it to him? What in the Allspark is going on between them. Infact he knew Megatron did not talk or interact with Thunderclash unless it was about business or status reports about his establishment protocols and urgency. What could be Megatron's intentions with Thunderclash? Or maybe he just made Thunderclash hand him the box and letter and that's just it? No intention? Probably.
His processor was brainstorming with questions but he decided not to think about it and just put the letter there, on the desk next to the box. He's not ready for whatever Megatron had for him, after Megatron got sentenced to be locked away forever.
Everything was a disaster after the end of Lostlight, for him. Maybe it's probably just him since everyone seems to have achieved their goal, or others who are already on their way to do whatever they wanted to. Unlike Rodimus himself. He didn't know where to go nor was his goal anymore. He have alway been a failure and disappointment in others' optics. He couldn't do or complete anything by himself without someone being there to help correct him with his wording, his behaviors, his kind of mindset, and being his reminder. After all of these, he's all by himself now, on this ship, with someone whom he 'hates' with no reason.
He doesn't hate Thunderclash, maybe not in that way. He just hates the way bots treat Thunderclash differently from the way they treat him. It's not his fault that they don't like him! They just can't handle him for who he is. Stupid greatest heroic Autobot! Ugh! — it's not he care about that. Definitely not.
Rodimus vents in frustration as he kept his helm on his desk beside the box and letter. There's nothing better to do now. Rodimus perks up as he looks around. His empty room. Okay actually, maybe he did have something to do. He should start settling in by now.
Rodimus got up from his desk as he moved to a pile of boxes in the corner of his room. He picked up one of them as he opened it and tossed items out.
Few cycles later
This is it. Rodimus thought as he look around the room. It wasn't the best but atleast he made it cozy. Times to move on his wash rack.
Rodimus picked up the last box as he opened it, only to realised that he did not have any material and supply to clean himself. He mentally noted to himself that he should do a shopping later.