Chapter Text
Cens🐴🏆
Today 10:42 AM
Hazy
Lisa just asked me if I would still love her if she was a worm?
Booty
What the fuck? Cassie asked the same thing lol
What is worm?
Hazy
How do you not know what a worm is? 😭
Chou Chou
You don't know what a worm is?
Yes I know what worm is
But why are you worm?
Is this English thing?
Gay Barrett
It's a hypothetical question
Wow big word for you
Gay Barrett
Fuck you man.
Jane would not like this
Hazy
Please take this lovers fight elsewhere
No no. Lovers is not good word.
Gay Barrett
??
Hazy
What?
Jane says lovers word is gross.
Dickstra
Weren't you and Jane lovers at some point?
Yes. We are lovers. I love her every day.
Gay Barrett
That's not really what lover means.
Yes it does.
I love Jane. Jane loves me. So we are lovers.
I tell her this and she just looks at me like kitten.
Cute angry kitten.
Sorry. Face reveal.
Hazy
😂😂😂
Baby Haasy
I'm confused. What's wrong with the word lovers? It's cute.
Yes thank you child.
Baby Haasy
I'm in my 20s?
Yes practically baby.
Dickstra
Lovers is someone you are only fucking with.
Gay Barrett
Yeah. You don't usually refer to your partner as your lover.
Baby Haasy
Oh.
I mean yes. Me and Jane are fucking but we are also partners.
So we are lover partners 😍
Gay Barrett
Yeah I don't think that's how it works.
I will tell her this the next time we are lovers fucking.
Hazy
CANCELLED
What is cancelled?
Hazy
You are for talking about fucking your girlfriend.
Oh. Are you a virgin?
Hazy
I have a wife.
Yes. Poor Lisa 😔
Booty
Anyway ...
Back to the worm
Is there a right answer to this?
Dickstra
I would think the answer is yes.
Were you going to say no?
Booty
I didn't know if it was a trick question.
Dickstra
Say yes 100%
Gay Barrett
Harris asked me the same thing. Must be a WAG thing
You better love my best friend Harris if he was a worm
Gay Barrett
I would stomp on you if you were a worm
Wow we are lovers now!
Booty
LMAO!!
Okay I'm telling her yesssssss!
Baby Haasy
Wait I don't get it.
Booty
Get what?
Baby Haasy
This worm question. It doesn't make sense.
Chou Chou
It's a partner test to see how much you love them. Sel asked me the same thing lol.
Baby Haasy
Oh that's cute. You should all definitely say yes 😊
Dickstra
It's definitely a WAG thing. Cait asked me too haha.
Gay Barrett
Roz where is your WAG?
Shut up
What is this partner test?
Jane loves tests. She's so smart and nerdy 😋
With glasses and freckles 🤤
Dickstra
Do not whore out in the group chat please.
Chou Chou
No please. Continue 🍿
And back dimples
Dickstra
Just fucking text her man.
Gay Barrett
You should ask Jane the worm question and see what she says ...
I would love Jane as a worm
She would be cute worm
Very obedient. Very sexy.
Hazy
I don't see how a worm can be cute or sexy.
My Jane would find a way 🙂↕️
Booty
You should get her a worm costume and have her dress up for you.
Chou Chou
Yes. Let us know how it goes.
Worm role play 💀.
Gay Barrett
Don't encourage him please.
Hm.
The Google is showing me some costumes. Jane would not like.
Worm costumes look like penis.
So maybe I dress as worm since she likes penis?
Hazy
ABORT. ABORT.
Chou Chou
You should buy one and try it out.
Hazy
NICK STOP!!!
Chou Chou
It's a cute idea.
Hazy
It's absofuckinglutely not
I can make it at home.
Chou Chou
Even better 😀👍🏼
Baby Haasy
Wait who is Jane?
Gay Barrett
Your dad's wife!
Baby Haasy
Aw. That's cute.
Also he's not my dad 🙄
Dickstra
Jane could be his secret mistress. Who knows with him.
Both sound very sexy to me
Jane likes to pretend to be my mistress sometimes. Very hot 🥵
Hazy
Yeah. We probably didn't need to know that.
Chou Chou
No keep going 🎤 Im intrested.
Gay Barrett
NO!!
😈
Okay I will ask Jane about her worms and see what she says
Booty
That's not the question
Dickstra
LMAO!!!!
Jane 🥵
Today 11:15 AM
Having good day?
I think so.
You think?
Should be amazing because we are talking
It's 11.
I've been awake since 6 and you just now texted.
Busy
With what?
Beauty sleep. Need to be ready beat you next time we play
Fuck off.
Why did I not have message from you when I woke up?
Why no "good morning beautiful?"
"Good morning my prince"
"Good morning my lover"
No.
"Good morning to best I ever had"
"Good morning Mr. big cock🍆💦"
"Good morning sexy"
"Good morning sir🥵"
What do you want?
To feel loved
What?
I do love you!
Why would I text you at 6 knowing you are still sleeping?
The notification would've woken you up and then you would've bitched about it.
Sweetheart you do love me
I've said this before.
This is perfect
Okay.
What are you doing today?
No I have question first
Okay fine. What's your question?
Would you love me if I was a worm?
What?
Would you love me if I was a worm?
No?
Shane?
Why not?
Why are you a worm?
Is just a question?
So you wouldn't love me?
I don't love worms.
But it is meeeee. I am worm.
But why are you a worm?
Just tell me you would love me as worm.
Please please please please please please please please.
I would be the best worm you ever had!!
How would I even know you are a worm?
You know because it is me
I don't think that's how that works.
Okay fine you know because I wake up one morning and become a worm
Now would you love me?
Say yes. Send nudes.
Okay first, I am not sending you nudes.
💔
And second, so you wake up in my bed as a worm?
I don't like this. It's making my skin itch just thinking about it.
Fuck. I am going to have to wash my sheets now.
Yes. I wake up as worm in your bed
Who turned you into a worm?
Evil fairy mother
Fairy god mother?
Yes evil lady turned me
I feel like if I saw a worm in my bed I would set it on fire.
So you hate me?
???
Ilya what the fuck is this question?
If your very sexy boyfriend turned into a worm would you still love him?
I don't see how that would work.
How would what work?
Us. How would we work if you are a worm? I don't get it.
Oh you mean sex?
I would find a way for us
😏😏😏
I don't want a worm inside me I think.
Even if you knew it was me?
Yes.
So you would cheat on me?
????
Hollander you are very horny person.
What does that have to do with anything?
You would not be able to hold back if I was worm.
So would you love me as worm? Say yes.
Is very simple question
If you were a worm I would probably step on you by accident because I wouldn't fucking know you were the worm.
You want to kill me???????
No. But I don't get how I would know you were a worm.
We are soulmates so you would know.
You think we're soulmates?
Probably yes.
Answer question.
You would be my pet more than an actual boyfriend.
😛
Oh yes. I would be very obedient pet for you.
Tie me up master.
Stop it.
I don't like this question.
Can you ask a different one?
Answer me otherwise you hate me yes?
But what kind of worm are you? There are thousands.
The one that wiggles on ground
🙄
Is this a permanent transformation or reversible?
Depends if you love me
Like beast furry man and princess.
Beauty and the Beast?
Yes. Or frog prince.
Princess and the frog?
Yes. Would you kiss me if I was a frog so I can turn back into sexy human?
I don't want to kiss a frog.
You would give me warts. That sounds disgusting.
I would give you so much love. We would have best sex.
With you as a frog?
Yes. Or worm.
Okay but worms don't have eyes so how would you even know it's me?
Worms do not have eyes?
No?
Oh
I would love you if you were a worm
Sexy worm with glasses
🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
That looks nothing like me.
Yes. He is cute polite worm with glasses. Is you.
But no freckles or back dimples😞
Back dimples?
Yes 🤤 they are so sexy. Love to bite them.
I didn't know I had them.
If you send more nudes then you would see.
That makes no sense.
But you as a worm 🥵 you would have freckles and big ass. My Shanya!!!
You're such an idiot 😂.
Wait.
I found you as a worm. I think you would still have curls, and maybe your moles.
My cute Russian worm😊
You love me again?
I don't think I stopped loving you during this conversation.
Aw my сексуальный червь
Sexy worm?
Yes. You are so sexy as a worm.
I'd hit that.
What?
I'd hit that.
Don't say that.
Did I not use that right?
Urban dictionary says "Phrase used mainly by guys meaning that they'd want to have sex with the person they're referring to"
So yes. I would hit you.
I know what you meant.
Who have you used this line on?
You would be my first.
Did it work? 😏
No. It's terrible.
What should I say then because you are so sexy and I would hit that?
You say nothing because I am not a fucking worm you can hit on.
You are so boring.
Thank you.
I'm sorry but I have to go soon.
Okay so you leave me and won't love me as worm?
This is sign of divorce
We're not even married?
YET
Aw 🥰
Wait. I'm not having this conversation over text.
Okay.
I will ask another time then.
????????????????
Don't you have to go?
Yes but
You would ask me?
Obviously.
I would ask you hundred times probably just to be sure
I would say yes hundred times.
But not right now. You promised me lots of candles.
Fake candles. Is good for environment.
I love you.
Hmmmmm.
I love you as a worm too.
A babe.
I'd hit that. I'll probably hit that later tonight.
Oh yes. On sexy face time call 😛
I love you
I'll call after practice.
I love you too.
♥️
Cens🐴🏆
Booty
That's not the question
Dickstra
LMAO!!!!
Today 2:35 PM
Okay worm plan did not work.
But we will probably get married soon so is fine.
Hazy
LOL what?
Booty
How does a worm question lead to marriage talk?
Baby Haas
Congrats Cap!!!
Thank you baby child rookie
Baby Haas
🙄
Gay Barett
What did Jane say?
She was boring
Asked too many questions
Was really funny
Booty
So she wouldn't love you as a worm?
Gay Barrett
I don't blame her.
Yes she would because I would be very sexy worm. She said so.
Gay Barrett
🤮
Hazy
What do you think Haas?
Baby Haasy
Leave me out of this.
Hazy
You don't think cap would be a sexy worm?
Chou Chou
Don't you have a shirtless picture of him over your bed?
Baby Haasy
No.
😏😏😏😏
Is okay. Jane has one too.
But Jane was too worried about how we would have sex if I was worm so she asked the right questions I think
Booty
WHAT HAHAHAH
Hazy
I'm fucking dead
Gay Barrett
Is sex all you talk about?
Is not my fault Harris wont miss having sex with you if you were worm.
One less thing for him to complain about
Gay Barrett
He does not complain
Jane never has complaints because I am the best and she would miss it so much if I was worm so I will never be a worm
Dickstra
Yeah so I told Cait yes to her question and that was it.
Hazy
Lol same for Lisa. We didn't play 20 questions like you cap.
Chou Chou
What did I miss?
Dickstra
Apparently Ilya and his girlfriend are freaks.
Chou Chou
Oh yeah!
Booty
Oh yeah????
😈😈😈
Chou Chou
Roz just admitted him and his girl role play with her as the mistress. So yes. I can assume they're freaks.
I have also roomed with Cap on an away game.
Booty
Explain.....
Chou Chou
They like to sext and Roz likes to kick me out the room when Jane calls.
Booty
Oh my god
Happened once.
Chou Chou
Four times.
Dickstra
He's done that to me too actually.
Because you kept playing shitty music and I didn't want to listen.
Hazy
How long have you and Jane even been together?
Very long.
Baby Haasy
Wait I thought you liked to explore your options when you played for Boston?
Explore my options?
Gay Barrett
That's rook's nice way of calling you a slut.
Dickstra
HAHAHAHAHAH!
Oh yes. I was once slut but now I am housewifed.
That is saying yes?
Booty
You willingly admit that you were a slut? 💀
Me and Jane were lovers but not partners when I was in Boston.
Gay Barrett
So you've had a thing with Jane since Boston?????????
I thought you two became a couple in 2017?
That is enough questions from you Barrett.
Baby Haasy
2017?!? 🤨
Hm. Maybe before.
Baby Haasy
😧
Booty
How do you know Barrett?
Barrett knows nothing. Shut up.
Gay Barrett
He briefly mentioned it one day when we were talking is all. No big deal.
Hazy
Wait now I'm invested.
Invested where?
Hazy
You and Jane. You were fuck buddies and then now you are together and talking about marriage. That's a crazy timeline.
Oh yes.
Hazy
That's it? Just "oh yes?"
Yes. I am no longer slut.
Only slut for Jane which he loves 🥵
*she
Chou Chou
Hm. Any more on you being a slut for her?
I will probably be slut for her tonight 😏
Booty
Okay I think that's enough group chat for one day.
Yes we can talk more at practice.
Booty
Or we can focus on hockey?
Chou Chou
Or we can hear more about how Roz and Jane are freaks.
Yes.
Booty
No.
Okay. Bag skates for everyone.
Except you Nick 😘
Chou Chou
😘