Chapter Text
He couldn't take it anymore. Any of it. It had been six years since his marriage to Azuki. His lions were finally released from prison a year ago, and he's gotten them settled into his company. He'd secretly gotten the ownership of the company and everything else they owned signed in Azuki’s name, he only took enough money to get a new life started someplace else.
He took a few different modes of transport and made several different stops, even threw his phone into some lake so nobody would be able to track him. He ended up in Osaka.
He'd read some things about it that made him believe it might be.. a good safe place to finally do some proper self exploration.
He rented an apartment, got a job serving ice cream in a mall, it was awfully foreign to him doing such normal things. Being so hands on with his work outside of paperwork. God, he hated paperwork. Scooping ice cream however? It was refreshing, oddly enjoyable.
He'd sort of made friends with one of his coworkers, an Uroderma bat named Tsumugi. He wasn't extremely good at branching out in that way, in an honest meaningful way with no act being put on, so it was nice that she'd started talking to him first. She'd gossip to him while they worked, she didn't even seem bothered by his newfound shyness. In fact, she'd helped him start to come out of his shell.
Tsumugi would come over occasionally, but she did most of the talking. Louis realized outside of things that would blow his cover, he didn't really have much to talk about. He'd never really done anything. Nothing normal and mundane outside of going to school and being in drama class. It made him feel sick to fully realize how he'd never really gotten a chance at an average life. Hobbies, friends formed through regular means, casual crushes… He had none of that. Only crushing responsibility, trauma bonds, and aching searing yearning with zero relief.
The young deer stood in front of his bathroom mirror, fully disassociated at his own reflection. Who was he?? It was becoming apparent that he didn't know. He didn't know anything about himself. Nothing outside of that stupid wolf. The feelings he'd awakened in him that he couldn't seem to push away even now. Even after seeing him get married and have a baby. God it had destroyed him to witness both. He.. loved them. Legoshi and Haru, he was happy they were happy, but it didn't stop every sweet moment and meaningful milestone in their relationship from driving a blade into his heart.
He'd never told anyone how he felt about Legoshi, especially not Legoshi himself. It would be far too awkward and humiliating and just hopeless. He'd told himself before with Juno that you can't get everything you want, but it rang even more true when your best friends are happily in love and you feel like a criminal for having feelings for one of them. They didn't deserve for him to make things weird. They'd fought so hard for this.
Now though, it made him feel even more sick. He would never see either of them again. He'd written down their numbers in case he got too desperate, but he hoped it wouldn't come to that. He didn't need someone convincing him to come back. He was exhausted of being told what to do, how to live, who to be and with whom.
Unfortunately, he felt directionless without a push from somebody. He wasn't so used to making decisions for himself. God, he'd never truly grown up, had he? Letting the mask slip off, he found he was incredibly shy, emotionally unstable, and didn't know what to do with himself. It was truly embarrassing. Why couldn't his teachings have truly shaped him to be like he'd always acted before? Why wasn't it enough for him? His father had plucked him out of the jaws of certain death and given him everything, a promised life of success and zero worries with only his taking on the company someday being asked in return, and it wasn't enough. What a selfish brat. He wished so badly that he'd have just died years ago. That his beloved lions had just ripped him to shreds.
Louis was so frustrated with himself he punched the mirror, sending cracks all throughout the glass. It didn't shatter completely, but enough it distorted his reflection. It certainly represented how he felt better than before now.