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“Marcus, where is my breakfast?”
“You blew it up with your P. E. N. I. S. gun earlier this morning.” Marcus scrolled on his phone, stuffing an egg into his mouth. He was seated in the back corner of the whole lair. The wooden floor creaked every time he shifted on the chair. Why Silvia had chosen her secret lair on top of an abandoned theatre he didn’t know. What he did know was he just spent the whole night fixing the signs surrounding and pointing at the lair.
Pointless. How ironic. He didn’t understand why he still worked for Silvia.
“D-Don’t…don’t say the P word, Marcus! It doesn’t look like that, I told you!” Silvia marched over and snatched Marcus’ plate of food away. “Ha ha! I have your food!”
“I’m eating burritos. You hate burritos.”
“Ew.” She threw them out the huge crack on the wall, the one broken by the city’s superhero the last time she came.
Great, now my breakfast’s gone, too.
“Why do I never have anything fun to do…” Silvia whined. “Marcus, let’s go threaten the mayor’s daughter.”
“What?”
“I’m bored. Or let’s drive around and call people losers!”
“Silvia—”
“Shotgun!”
“We’re only two people and you don’t drive.” Marcus followed an excited Silvia to her super secret garage of cool cars.
“This one, Marcus, this one!” Silvia dashed in a pink monster truck, and Marcus grudgingly slid into the driver’s seat. He started the engine and they crashed out the door, toppling on the street.
“Yay! We killed two people already!”
“Un huh.”
“You’re supposed to be happy about that. Smile, Marcus. C’mon, smile.” She reached out a pinky finger and poked his cheek. One, two, three, four……
“I’m driving.”
“Aw, you’re no fun. I miss it when I taught you how to do a headstand. It only took you sixty nine minutes, Marcus, you’re such a good student.”
“Uh, Silvia, it doesn’t sound like what you think it sou—” Poke poke. “Quit it.”
Silvia pulled back the pinky finger reluctantly. “Remember when I accidentally killed your cheating wife?” She began to lay the car seat back and lay down. “I showed you pictures~”
“I don’t want to hear about it.” Marcus rolled up the windows, trying to get the screaming of the people outside out of his mind.
“I told you she was cheating a looooong time ago.” Silvia pouted. She proceeded to pluck Marcus’ sunglasses off, but Marcus shooed her hand away. “You never listen to me.”
“How was I suppose to take you seriously? And that was no excuse to kill her!” The breaks screeched loudly as he stopped the truck abruptly, turning his head towards Silvia. She couldn’t tell whether he was glaring at her or not through the sunglasses.
“Hey! I didn’t kill her…” Silvia looked away and lay back down. “She wanted to go to the bathroom by herself.”
Marcus didn’t say anything for a while. He started the truck again and drove down the streets, ignoring the red lights as usual. He knew Silvia pointed Greta the wrong directions of the bathroom on purpose. How? Maybe it was the sixth sense of being a villain (or at least a sidesick) for so long, or maybe he just knew Silvia too well.
“She’s not good enough for you anyway.”
Marcus shot a side glance towards Silvia beneath his sunglasses. Did she really just said that? It didn’t sound like her at all. The last time he had even seen her being so serious was… Well, he didn’t think there was ever a time.
His left eyeball was twitching by now, straining to see his boss - She had her head laying on folded arms, her gaze trained on the roof of the car. A mosquito hummed in front of her and she blew at it. “Are you ok?” He spoke up, his voice masked with the usual dry tone.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you sucking because I brought up your wife who can’t? Aw, Marcus. I bet she sucked fine with Jeremy.”
“I think you mean sulking, and what I meant wa—”
“Ahh! A mosquito flew in my mouth, Marcus! Help! Help, Marcus!!!” Silvia waved her hands frantically, attempting to sit up but failed. She pressed firmly on the button for seats to straighten up, her body abruptly shooting up, then toppling sideways into Marcus’ arms.
Marcus froze, his arms subconsciously tightening around Silvia’s waist. Her long hair brushed against his nose. He bit his lips, trying not to sneeze. Carefully, Marcus slid his fingers through the pool of dark hair and tucked it aside. He glanced at Silvia nervously, waiting for her reaction.
After a long while, he broke the silence. “Did you eat the mosquito?”
Silvia shifted her position awkwardly to meet Marcus’ eye. “I think so… It was yucky.”
“Don’t worry. You’ve eaten flies before, too.”
It wasn’t like Marcus and Silvia haven’t been in such an intimate position before. Silvia falling off the city’s tallest building, Silvia tugging Marcus around to show him her latest weapon, Silvia being outraged at the newscaster and taking it out on Marcus by hitting him instead…… This time however, Marcus didn’t know what to do.
His arms were still loosely wrapped around Silvia’s torso. He thought of letting go - a monster truck in the middle of the streets wasn’t exactly an option after all, but just when he was about to let go and place his hands on the wheel, Silvia closed her fingers around his own.
“I have to drive.” He muttered, having no courage to ask her what she was doing directly.
“Aw. Let me do it.” She adjusted her position to sit on his lap and took the wheel.
“No! You’ll kill yoursel— it’s a monster truck! Damn it!” Marcus pulled Silvia back, letting her fall into his arms once more, and grabbed the wheel, turning it firmly. “We’re going home.”
“Why do I never get to driiiiiiive?” Silvia pouted, leaning on Marcus’ chest.
“Because, it’s an astonishment why you can build bombs and weapons, yet never fail to try to kill yourself when you drive.” He tried to ignore the fact that his heart was pounding faster.
“You wear sunglasses when you drive.”
“You fall off a cliff when you drive.”
“Aw.”
After they came back to their secret lair, Marcus pushed Silvia gently off his lap, reaching for the handle to get out of the car. Silvia reluctantly slid off, plucking his sunglasses away with a smirk as she did so. “Hey!” Marcus squinted at the sudden bright light and groaned, stepping out of the truck.
“I’m going to order pizza and kill the delivery guy. You coming?”
Marcus hummed a yes and smiled secretly to himself.
“Wow. You have pretty brown eyes.”