Chapter Text
The tram threw Lando forward as it reached the university campus. Max got up first, waiting for Lando to join him, but he was zoned out, eyes looking over the Australian city.
Lando had graduated with Max back in London; the two deciding to take the next big step in life by travelling across the world to study at a prestigious university in Melbourne. Max wanted to pursue a career in Media and Communications, hoping to grow his YouTube channel. People enjoyed Max’s company, drawn in by his infectious laughter, charming looks and endless banter. Lando’s passion was rooted in Physics and Engineering, and pursuing a career in race engineering had always been a dream of his.
Yet this dream had seemed out of reach ever since his first day. He struggled to find rooms. He often ate alone between classes. At first, the coursework felt simple, just introducing the basics. Confident in his abilities, he told himself that if he just put his head down and ignored the other 90 students, he wouldn’t have to make friends. He could breeze through the course. Or so he thought.
Oh, was he wrong.
The hardest concept for Lando to wrap his head around was mechanics. Late nights spent calculating the sum of forces in various scenarios sent him spiralling behind in his classwork. And even though Max tried his hardest to convince Lando that no one was going to think any less of him for reaching out, Lando pushed down all his doubts and forced himself into his studies, trying to cull his never-ending workload.
“Lando mate, you coming?”
Max was standing in the tram aisle, still waiting for Lando.
“Oh yeah, sorry- Just ah, zoned out for a little bit there.”
“You really need to take a load off from all that studying you’ve been doing. Why don't you come out with George, Alex and me?”
Max could see the answer in Lando’s face before he even opened his mouth. Lately he could see Max had been growing worried as much as he tried to hide it. The late-night study sessions lasted till 3 in the morning and Max would usually find Lando slumped at a table, pencil propped in his limp hand, diagrams sprawled under his head. Lando often skipped what he deemed as a ‘non-essential’ class and the ones he showed up to he was always late. It took its toll. Max had described him as the undead, dark bags under his eyes, sluggish walk, he had even threatened to call Lando’s mother himself. Still, Lando refused. It was a double-edged sword. Alone in his course, he had no one to chat with in lectures, no one to grab a bite with between classes at the many campus cafes— which he thought were a bit over the top compared to back home. Yet he insisted on not asking for help. He hated feeling weak. But, if he was honest, he hated being alone even more.
“If I just really lock in this week, I think I can get it under control.”
Lando was lying through his teeth. Max already knew it, but Lando still tried to keep up the facade. He felt guilty, lying to basically his only friend here in Australia. He and Max had known each other since first form, paired together for a group project. Max did most of the research; Lando goofed off. Max hadn’t minded. He’d never had any real friends before Lando. They had been through too much together.
He almost half believed the lie himself. He knew eventually it would catch up to him, in fact it had, on multiple occasions, but that was a problem for future Lando, which was what he often told himself.
“Trust me, I’m fine… Would I ever lie to you?”
“Well, actually, there was tha-”
“It was obviously rhetorical”, Lando interrupted, a rare smile appearing on his face.
“Come on, let's get a move on. We’re probably holding everyone up,” called Lando as he grabbed his bag and followed Max out of the tram.
Lando and Max walked down from the makeshift tram platform and onto campus. The concrete jungle surrounded them as they crossed into the quad’s center. The campus almost reminded Lando of London— but here, the beaming sun warmed him. Back home, it was always cool and dreary. Melbourne’s weather still surprised him. Some days, rain would drizzle during his morning walk to class. By afternoon, not a cloud in sight.
It was at this point that he and Max would part ways, as Max was up in the higher up buildings. Lando always hated this part. Being separate. Alone. He hated not being surrounded by people; being stuck with his own thoughts was Lando's own personal hell. He was always so tough on himself:
"What if I hadn't moved so far away from home?"
"What if I've chosen the wrong degree and wasted all this time?"
These thoughts swirled around in his mind before he headed down the stairs and into his lecture hall.
As usual, he was 10 minutes late. No one batted an eye; to them, it was almost like he didn't even exist. A man glanced up from the front row as Lando passed. Their eyes met, just for a second. How had he never noticed this guy before? Surely he would’ve remembered a guy this gorgeous.
‘I guess having extensive piles of coursework really does take a toll on your love life’ he thought to himself.
The guy had soft, smooth skin, brown hair swooping gently across his forehead in a way Lando didn’t know he liked. He wore a knitted sweater matched with denim jeans perfectly suited to the weather outside. His hands were clean, well kept, unlike Lando’s bitten nails and stray flakes of skin peeling up. His laptop sat neatly next to a small drink bottle. Pen and paper were lined up on the right. Lando’s desk was always scattered with notes and books— a reflection of his messy mind. This guy seemed a thousand times more put together than him. Lando envied him, the way he seemed so put together yet so effortlessly laid back not to mention how stunningly attractive he was. His foot clipped the edge of a stair, sending him back to reality and jolting forward, almost falling over completely. He tried to ignore the fact that probably half the lecture hall watched him trip himself up the stairs and looked for a spot to sink into and disappear.
Most of, if not all, the spare seats were taken up in the back of the hall, so Lando opted to find one closer to the front, which incidentally happened to be two rows behind his newfound crush. Lando caught himself staring at the back of his head, the way he tilted his head slightly every few minutes, how his uneven hairline met the nape of his neck, how he would return everything to its correct place on his desk. When did Lando become so obsessive? The lack of sleep was clearly messing with his brain. Yet he didn’t stop himself, melting into his beauty dreamily.
Twenty minutes passed before Lando realized he hadn’t picked up a pen, let alone taken any notes. It was no wonder he was so far behind. He couldn’t even pay attention during lectures— not when there were men sitting so tauntingly close. He needed serious help. Flustered, Lando finally scratched down a few notes, but he gained little from that lecture. The professor made eye contact as soon as he stood up. Lando trudged toward the front of the hall, weaving past other students as he tried to make a bee line for the exit but was inevitably caught by his Professor.
"Lando, I still haven't seen that lab report that was due on Monday."
"I have it somewhere on my desk, Professor Clarke, I promise," pleaded Lando.
"Look, if you need an extension, I'm sure I could make something work-"
"I'll have it sent to you by tomorrow." Lando said firmly.
He didn't want handouts. He wasn't a charity case.
Without another word, Lando turned and walked out the door, but not before catching a glance at the man from before, approaching Professor Clarke. He caught the faint start of their conversation-
"So Oscar about..."
Oscar.
His name was Oscar.
* * *
Lando:
max!
pls reply
i have good news
Max:
Please tell me it's about you finding some study help.
You know I saw this post on a uni page for a Physics tutor
Lando:
i told you I've got all that school work handled
in my lecture
there was this beautiful handosme man
handsome*
AND!
he was totally checking me out i swear
Max:
You think every guy is checking you out Lando
So?
Did you speak to him
What's his name
Lando:
and no we only made eye contact for like half a second
but I overheard his name
oscar...
sounds heavenly dont you think?
Max:
Lando that’s such an unoriginal name, 3 guys in my course have that name
Why don't you ask him for help?
He's in your lecture isn't he
plus maybe you might finally make a friend out of it
Lando:
i got you dont i?
Max:
Technically I don't count
Plus I've offered so many times for you to come hang with George and Alex
I mean they literally live next door to us
Lando:
im too busy to be hanging out with your dorky friends
Max:
just at least promise me you'll check out the post?
Lando:
ugh fine... but only because you will nag me endlessly
Max:
that's the spirit :)
I'll see you back at the dorm
* * *
Lando had really thought about actually hanging out with George and Alex. He really had. But it had always been Max and him. Max and Lando. He didn't want to mess with a formula that had provided an everlasting bond of friendship that would last beyond the end of time. It was best to just keep it as is. Politely decline the invitation and keep Max to himself. Too many nights Max had spent over in Lando’s bedroom when they were kids, his mum letting them order pizza, staying up into the late hours of the morning still watching movies quietly, trying not to wake up the rest of the house. Sometimes Lando would miss his younger life, it was simple, easy. Now he only saw Max in the evening and on weekends in between his own study, it felt like life had gotten too real too fast. Lando longed just to go back with just Max and him together for one last night, so he could savor it.
Max had sent another text as Lando had gotten off the tram outside their dorm.
“Headed out with George and Alex for a couple of drinks- be back later”
Lando wanted to kick back in the dorm with Max and fill him in about Oscar. Instead, he just stood outside for a moment, staring at his phone screen. He thumbs-upped the message, then slid his phone away. It’s not like he could just demand Max to come out and hang out with him and only him, it wasn’t Max’s fault Lando refused to socialise with anyone else. He was almost jealous that Max found it so easy to get along with anyone, but that's how Lando had become friends with him so quickly. Lando told himself he was being petty and stupid. He could use the quiet time anyway, he still needed to finish the lab report he’d promised to send by tomorrow. Admittedly, only the results section remained, but he had quizzes due the next morning, so the report had slipped his mind. More things seemed to slip through Lando’s fingers every week: lab reports, research papers, keeping in contact with his mum. She had three texts left on read— all asking how he was coping, reminding him about laundry. Half the time, he genuinely forgot. The other half, he just didn’t want to admit how much he missed her.
The dorm was empty when Lando unlocked the door. Max wasn't streaming something from his desk, just an empty chair with a blank monitor. He wasn't feeling hungry, so Lando skipped the fridge and went straight into his room. The silence of the dorm hung in the air like a thick fog. Maybe he should’ve just gone out with Max instead of being here feeling sorry for himself, he pushed the thought out of his mind. He dug out his lab report from the looming pile of papers sitting on his desk. Slumped into his chair, Lando began the tedious task of reviewing his data and digging through his memory of what happened in the lab last week, trying to stitch together a plausible result.
Forty minutes had passed and Lando had somewhat successfully finished his lab report, ready to be handed in only 2 days late, honestly, a personal best for him. He had moved on to more textbooks, trying to piece together his minimal notes from this morning's lecture and the book's syllabus. Words were just going in one ear and out the other; he couldn't focus long enough for them to imprint on his brain.
Finally caving in, Lando decided he'd just check out the attachment Max had sent him about this supposed 'tutor' to help him better grasp the content he was trying to cram into his stubborn brain.
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Help.
The word stared back at Lando.
He looked back upon the ever growing pile of work he was still so behind on, the odds were against him on this one, his body ached for a proper night's sleep, and his hands were cramped. Lando paused for a moment racking his brain for a half decent reason why he shouldn’t go along with this, nothing. Gosh he hated when Max was so blatantly right, which was often always. He opened up a message chain to this 'tutor', with dull hopes that maybe this tutor was a good idea after all.
He jotted down his details quickly, looking up, fearful someone was seeing him give in, like Max was gonna burst through the front door and catch him in the act.
Lando put his phone down on the desk as his stomach gurgled. He hadn't eaten since he’d got home. Their student allowance was already stretched pretty thin, so take out was out of the question. He grabbed one of the protein bars Max took when he went to the campus gym. It was extremely dry and chewy but it would have to do, hopefully Max wouldn't miss the godawful thing.
Slouched down in the cushions of the couch, Lando dozed off, drool creeping down his cheek, TV playing whatever channel had been left on. He didn’t dream anymore. Not since he arrived in Australia. As a child he would have dreams of flying a fighter jet in outer space, dreams of himself driving a real F1 car and winning his first race. His mind was too exhausted now each day, just turning off, ready to do it all again tomorrow.
A ding in the distance woke Lando up. It was his phone he’d left on the desk. He stood up a little too fast, stumbling to catch his balance. It was a text, probably just Max saying he was staying out longer, but the number wasn’t in his contacts.
Unknown Number:
Hey Lando, I saw your message for a tutor… does tomorrow morning work for you?
Lando hadn’t expected a reply back so quickly. Stunned, he just looked at his phone for a second, thumbs hovering over the keyboard.
Lando:
Yes
That works for me
Unknown Number:
Sweet
Uhh meet me in lab room 81
9:00am
Lando checked his class schedule, double checking he was actually free in the morning. His lectures were all after midday he realised with a sinking feeling, part of him had hoped he wasn’t free so he could just call the whole thing off. It made him feel stupid, needing someone to tutor him, like having someone hold his hand and walk him through the course like a toddler. He even contemplated not telling Max that he now had a tutor and he told Max everything. What would Max think of him needing help just to pass the bare minimum. He didn’t have enough time to decide as Max came through the door the next second.
“Ah you’re already home, have you eaten yet?” questioned Max, closing the door behind him, turning to face Lando.
“yeah , yeah I uh, had something before,” “How were the boys?”
Lando never cared to ask about Max’s ‘other friends’, usually too petty and jealous to even acknowledge their existence.
“-yeah good. Lando, are you feeling alright?”
“I’m fine… I may have finally taken your advice and signed up for that tutor though.” said Lando, putting his phone behind his back. Why was he hiding his phone? He’d just told Max.
“Finally, Lando, you'll feel so much better. I’ll feel much better, knowing you're not going to be struggling anymore.”
“I’m not struggling, this is to just help me get on top of things. I meet up with him tomorrow morning.”
“Oh? It’s a he?” teased Max. “Two guys in one day Lando, this has to be some kind of record.”
“Shut up Max, he’s probably some mega nerd, plus no one could be as attractive as my new crush Oscar.”
Max rolled his eyes and smiled as Lando laughed at his own delusions. It felt like they were just two kids again, joking around like nothing mattered. Lando felt at home.
“If I hear you harping on about this Oscar guy, who you barely know for a start and you don’t try to speak to him. I will personally drag you to him myself.”
“Is that a threat or a promise huh?” said Lando with a devilish look in his eye.
“Oh if it makes you want to talk to someone other than me, definitely a promise.”
Lando felt the sting of Max’s off handed comment. He knew deep down Max didn’t mean it in a way to hurt Lando, if anything he only wanted the best for Lando. Yet he still felt hurt by it. In a way he was right, ever since he arrived in Australia he had been attached to Max by the hip and he liked it that way. Lando was too scared to admit to himself that he was afraid of change, afraid that Max was gonna drift away and find someone else, move on. Leave Lando behind like a discarded toy, left to rot.
As Lando set his alarm for the next morning, he thought about his meeting tomorrow. Who was this tutor gonna be? Were they going to judge him? They were definitely going to take one look at him, know he’d fallen apart and feel sorry for him. Lando wanted to come off as strong and confident, but his armour was slowly chipping away each day, worried that tomorrow walking into lab room 81 and facing the tutor might be the final blow.