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It’s a cold evening outside of Bangkok and unusually quiet inside the MARS dorm. Pepper is out with friends after Nano convinced him that it would be okay. Thame decided to stay at Po’s, so there are only Nano, Jun and Dylan left.
At one point after dinner, Nano dragged both of the boys out of their rooms to watch a movie together, calling it quality time. And of course they couldn’t say no to their youngest.
After what felt like an hour, The Notebook started to play on the screen. It’s better to say Nano just clicked on it and ended the discussion before Jun could protest.
“Do we really have to watch this?,” Dylan sighed, sitting on one end of the couch with a bucket of popcorn between his legs. Jun on the other side and Nano sprawled out on the carpet in front of them.
“Come on Phi, this movie is a must. So stop complaining. Oh, and I bet you will cry!,” Nano said dramatically while the older one was already relaxing into the cushions, just watching the two bickering.
“I will not,” Dylan tried to defend himself with his mouth full of popcorn, his face already turned toward the screen. No one has to know that he secretly loved this movie. That it is one of his favourites. No one knows, no one besides Jun.
He himself doesn’t even know why this specific movie touched his heart so much. Maybe it reminds him of the fact that there can still be a happy ending after losing sight of each other for a while.
Or maybe because he wishes someone would wait for him like Noah has always waited for Allie.
The way he always waited for Jun.
And maybe, just maybe, he hopes for a happy ending for himself too.
By the time they reached the scene where Allie was crying in front of her mom, telling her how much she loves Noah, the rapper was silently crying. Trying to focus on the scene in front of him without making any noises.
“I love him… You don’t look at Daddy the way I look at Noah. You don’t touch or laugh. You don’t play. You don’t know anything about love.” Allie’s voice from the TV was the only sound in the quiet room.
Jun, the one who hadn’t uttered a word since the movie started, stared with an undefined look at the side profile of the rapper. Even if he couldn’t see his full face, he knew Dylan was crying.
And the mere thought of it made his heart clench once again because this wasn’t the first time this happened.
It reminded him exactly of that one night a few months ago.
.° ༘🎞️⋆🫂₊˚ෆ Beginning of Flashback
Nano and Pepper were on a date and Thame, of course, with his Phi’ Po, so only Jun and Dylan remained in the dorm.
It was only past 10 pm. Jun was standing in the kitchen, glass in his hand, staring into the air and lost in his thoughts when he heard the rapper’s bedroom door open.
Without even looking at him, Dylan sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, his oversized hoodie looking big on his slender frame.
Perhaps Dylan didn’t even know Jun was home, or maybe he was ignoring him, as usual. Besides arguing and driving each other crazy, they didn’t do anything else anyway. Sometimes he wondered if Dylan really couldn’t stand him.
While Dylan clicked on the movie he had chosen without hesitation, Jun watched him quietly from the kitchen counter he was leaning on, taking a sip from his water.
It was the first time he had ever seen Dylan watching The Notebook.
Fifteen minutes into the movie Jun decided to walk over. Without making a sound he put his glass in the sink.
“So, The Notebook, huh?,” Jun said as he walked from the kitchen towards the living room, not meaning to scare Dylan.
“My God, Jun! You scared the fucking shit out of me! How long have you been there?,” hissed Dylan with his hand over his heart, trying to calm himself down.
With furrowed brows and a question mark on his face, he was now directly looking at his band member.
“Nah, not that long.” Jun was lying.
And without asking permission to join on the couch, he simply sat down on the other side, at the far end, not too close to Dylan, putting a respectful distance between them.
“Since when do you watch romance? I never thought you would be this kind of guy, though,” Jun said while looking at the screen in front of him. The movie kept playing.
“Guess you don’t know me well enough,” was the only answer Jun got. And without knowing why, Dylan’s answer didn’t sit well in his chest, but he just stayed quiet.
Almost halfway into the movie, still neither of them moved. Jun gave no indication of going to his room, nor did Dylan give any signs of switching to another movie or complaining about Jun sitting there with him.
It was quite unusual for both of them to even spend time together without the other members. But it wasn’t as bad as Dylan or Jun thought it would be.
Even though neither of them said a word, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. They were just quietly sitting on the couch with the knowing presence of the other.
By the time the movie reached the part where Allie was crying in front of her mother, saying how much she loves Noah and that her mother doesn’t understand this kind of love, Dylan was a crying mess.
His knees drawn to his chest, hoodie sleeves covering his wrists and tears rolling down his cheeks, but he didn’t try to stop them.
Jun was watching him from the other side of the couch. Silently. Chest tight.
For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do.
He had seen people cry before, of course he had. Their youngest would cry over the smallest thing, the last time was about a cat on the news. Pepper cried at one of their fan meetings, and even Thame had teared up once during a concert.
But Dylan crying was.., well different.
It felt strangely private, almost like Jun had accidentally stepped into a room he wasn’t meant to enter and now he was stuck. No exit in sight.
The rapper didn’t even try to hide it. Tears rolling down his cheeks while he stared at the screen, his lips pressed together like he was trying to keep every sound inside his chest.
The dim light from the TV reflected in his eyes and Jun could see another tear leaving at the corner of his eye. The sight made Jun swallow hard. Dylan looked.. soft, and vulnerable.
“You are.. crying,” he said, almost unsure why he was saying it and not really sure if the other one even heard him.
“No shit,” Dylan muttered, voice cracking at the end. Wiping his cheek with the sleeve of his hoodie. “It’s a sad movie.” The rapper still not looking at Jun.
Jun looked back at the screen for a moment. Allie was still crying, storming out of the door and running after Noah. Then his eyes returned to Dylan.
“You have watched this before, haven’t you?” Jun’s voice was quiet now, almost a whisper.
Dylan hesitated before answering.
“Maybe..,”
Jun exhaled softly through his nose. A smile now on his lips from Dylan‘s answer.
“More than once.”
This time Dylan didn’t answer.
Another few seconds passed. The movie continued, but Jun wasn’t really watching anymore. He couldn’t stop looking at Dylan.
“What part makes you cry?,” he finally managed to ask.
The rapper finally turned his head, only slightly, looking at him through red eyes. Lips pouting. And Jun’s smile widened at that.
“What do you mean?,”
“You cry before the sad ending, where they die together,” Jun said as if he were stating a simple fact. “So I figured it’s not that part.”
For a moment Dylan just stared at him, surprise reflecting in his eyes. Then he looked back at the TV.
“The waiting..,” he admitted. It was so quiet that Jun would have missed the answer if he hadn’t had his eyes on him.
Jun frowned slightly.
“Waiting?”
It was a genuine question, with a little surprise in his voice.
After what felt like two heartbeats, Dylan nodded once.
“The way Noah waits for her,” he said, his voice softer than Jun had ever heard since they had known each other. And for the first time this soft voice was directed at him.
“He keeps building the house. He writes letters. Even when she’s gone.”
Dylan laughed weakly, resting his chin on his knees while hugging them, his eyes still focused on the playing movie in front of them.
“Who does that in real life?”
Jun didn’t answer. Eyes still on the boy next to him.
Dylan hugged his knees tighter.
Apart from the movie, nothing else could be heard in the room, but Jun could swear that if Dylan listened closely, he could hear how fast his heart was beating right now.
“I guess I just like the idea that someone would wait like that,” Dylan suddenly continued, barely above a whisper. “Even if you mess up. Even if you lose each other for a while.”
And Jun wouldn’t admit this to anyone, not even to himself, but he felt something shift uncomfortably in his chest.
“That’s stupid..,” Dylan added a little to quick, like he regretted saying it. “Forget it.”
But Jun didn’t.
He kept watching Dylan instead of the movie. Because suddenly the story on the screen felt less important than the boy sitting next to him.
And before he could stop himself, the question was leaving his mouth.
“Would you?”
Dylan blinked. He didn’t think there would be another question.
“What?,” His voice cracked at the end and he hoped Jun hadn’t noticed. But of course he had.
“Wait for someone like that.”
The question hung in the air.
For a long moment Dylan didn’t answer. Too afraid to say something he couldn’t take back.
Then he gave a small shrug, though his voice betrayed him once again.
“I already did.”
But what he really wanted so say was, I am still waiting.
That was not the answer Jun expected. His fingers tightened slightly on the couch cushion.
“Who?,” Jun wanted to know. No, he needed to know.
But Dylan didn’t respond.
Still, the silence said everything. And Jun felt his heart skipped a beat.
There was not another question from him. Only a look on his face he couldn’t shake off.
The rest of the movie played out without either of them speaking again. But when the final scene ended and the screen faded to black, neither of them moved for a long time.
.° ༘🎞️⋆🫂₊˚ෆ End of Flashback
Back in the present, the same scene played out again on the TV.
Allie crying. Noah waiting.
And Dylan crying quietly in front of the screen just like he had a few months ago.
But this time Jun understood.
He knew exactly what Dylan meant that night. And somehow that knowledge made his chest ache even more.
Nano sniffled loudly from the floor.
“Why is this movie so sad every time.” Another sob from the youngest.
But Jun barely heard him.
His eyes stayed on the boy next to him.
The rapper wiped his face, trying to act normal again, grabbing another handful of popcorn like nothing happened.
Jun sighed.
And then, without moving too quickly and without Nano noticing, he moved closer to Dylan.
They were shoulder to shoulder now.
Dylan looked at him with watery eyes, a question written on his face. But he kept quiet. Not daring to say anything. And Jun kept staring.
“What?,” Was the only thing that came to Dylan’s mind and out of his mouth. His shoulder now a little tense from Jun’s proximity.
“You’re crying again.” Jun said, eyes on Dylan.
“Shut up.”
Jun’s lips twitched.
For a moment neither of them spoke.
Then, very slowly, he leaned into Dylan, quietly whispering into the rapper’s ear,
“You waited long enough.”
Dylan froze.
His body stilled. Breath held.
His face turned so abruptly toward Jun that he could swear his neck should have cracked.
“What?”
Jun looked back at the screen instead of him.
“You said someone should wait,” he continued calmly. Maybe a little too calm for Dylan’s liking. “Like Noah.”
Dylan’s heart began to pound so hard and loud that he was sure Jun could hear it.
The oldest now finally turning his gaze back at him. His eyes searching Dylan’s.
“And you did.”
The room suddenly felt too small.
Dylan took a slow breath, one he didn’t think he had been holding.
Their youngest was still watching the movie ending, completely oblivious to the tension behind him.
Dylan swallowed.
“Jun..,”
But before Dylan could say anything else, Jun interrupted him.
“I just didn’t realize you were waiting for me.”
Dylan stared at him like the world had stopped.
His eyes widened and a tear escaped his eye, rolling down his left cheek before he could stop it from happening.
“Are you serious right now?,” he whispered, afraid of his own voice.
Jun nodded once.
“Sorry I made you wait so long.”
The words left his mouth without any hesitation. His eyes still locked with Dylan’s.
“I think it took me a while to realise that it has always been you for me.”
Dylan let out a shaky laugh.
“You’re unbelievable. I waited for years and you decide this during The Notebook?”
“Actually, I thought about it the first time I saw you crying, remember a few months ago?” Jun shrugged, a playful smile on his lips.
“But the timing seemed appropriate now.”
Dylan covered his face with his hands, half laughing, half overwhelmed.
“You’re insane.., absolutely insane.”
But Jun leaned forward again, a little closer.
“But you waited, didn’t you?”
Dylan lowered his hands.
Their faces were now so close that Dylan could start counting Jun’s eyelashes.
Their eyes met.
Both now breathing the exact same air.
“Yeah.” Dylan admitted, looking from one eye to the other. “I did.”
Jun held his gaze for a moment longer before saying,
“Then I guess we’re like them.”
Dylan frowned, and once again his face turned into a whole question mark.
“Who?”
Jun nodded toward the TV.
“Noah and Allie.”
That made Dylan blink.
Before he could process what Jun had just said, he continued, his voice calm but warm and certain.
“We got lost for a while, or should I say, I got lost for a while.”
Another small pause.
Dylan held his breath, again, but his eyes never leaving Jun’s.
“But I found my way back, to you.”
Dylan’s eyes softened immediately.
“Just the way Allie found her way back to Noah.”
“Wait, are you really comparing us to my favourite romance movie right now?”
It wasn’t really a question, more a fact he stated.
Jun just smiled.
That one smile that had always made Dylan’s heart melt.
“You’re the one crying over it.” Jun said, amused. But there was no teasing behind his voice.
Dylan rolled his eyes, but his smile betrayed him. His cheeks were now a hint of pink. And after a brief moment of hesitation, he just rested his head on Jun’s shoulder. His body slowly relaxing into Jun’s side.
Jun didn’t move. He just adjusted his position so Dylan could be comfortable.
His own cheek now resting on Dylan’s head.
“Thank you.., for waiting for me.” whispered Jun against Dylan’s hair.
Dylan closed his eyes for a while, letting the word sink in.
On the floor in front of them, Nano suddenly gasped. Body abruptly shifting into a seating position.
“Oh my God, they died together..”
Then he paused.
His head slowly turning toward his Phi’s.
His eyes widened.
Mouth opened and closed, and opened again.
“WAIT!!” A not-so-quiet scream was leaving his mouth.
Jun and Dylan looked at him at the same time.
Nano pointed dramatically at both of them.
“ARE YOU TWO HAVING A ROMANTIC MOMENT RIGHT NOW??”
Dylan groaned, trying to hide his face in Jun’s neck. His ears noticeably red, cheeks pink.
“OMG, LET ME TAKE A PICTURE FOR PHI PER. HE WILL NOT BELIEVE ME THIS.” Before either of them could say anything, Nano was already searching the floor for his phone, muttering unintelligible words to himself.
Jun just laughed. Swinging his arm behind Dylan, pulling him even closer by the shoulder, almost into a hug. But Dylan didn’t push him away.
And for the first time in a long time, Dylan thought that waiting didn’t feel necessary anymore.