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Tangled in the sheets, Daryl was absentmindedly rubbing your back and watching as you came down from your euphoria. Your arms were littered with small bruises and track marks. The sight made his chest ache. He hated seeing the evidence of your drug use, but he was holding out hope that you'd one day get clean. The last thing that Daryl wanted was to give up on you.
Feeling your boyfriend's eyes on you, you met his gaze and smiled softly. Your voice was slightly teasing, but you recognized the concern in his eyes. You'd just rather ignore the issue.
“Stop lookin' at me like I'm gonna disappear.”
“Sorry. I just ain't wanna lose you, baby. You understand that, right?”
“If I could be different, I would. I fuckin' hate bein' like this and I hate what it's doin' to you.”
Not wanting you to get too upset, Daryl immediately tried to soothe you and gently moved a piece of hair from your face. He wasn't always great with words, but he always made an effort for you. He wanted to give you the same hope that he was desperately clinging to.
“Don't apologize. What would you do if you were sober and the world was how it used to be?”
“Like right now?”
“Yeah. Money ain't matter neither.”
You’d thought about this before, but the idea had always seemed foolish. You were a realist and you were well aware of the reality of your condition. If you didn’t get clean soon, you’d die and leave Daryl behind. You pushed the thought from your brain and answered Daryl’s question.
“I'd go to the beach with you and sit near the water. Ain't never been to the ocean, but I would like to see it with a clear mind. Not all foggy.”
“That sounds nice, baby. I wish I could bring the ocean to you.”
His voice was gruff as always, but his tone was soft, and it never failed to put you at ease. You allowed yourself to picture being sober, and it didn't seem so scary.
“Maybe we could go to Oceanside sometime? Like when I'm healthier.”
Hearing you talk about the future made his heart swell, and Daryl couldn't stop the grin that pulled at his lips. You usually shut down conversations about what would come after your sobriety. This felt huge.
“I would really like that. I helped with some trade there a few months ago, and I think you'd love it. We could go-”
His words were cut off by a small whimper, and your body started trembling against his. Daryl could tell the symptoms of withdrawal from anywhere, and a small pit formed in his stomach. His girl was about to be fucking miserable unless she had her fix. He gently touched your face and felt your clammy skin beneath his calloused fingers.
“Oh, baby.”
“Sorry. I ain't wanna do it, but my body's gonna hurt so bad.”
Daryl didn't want you to get high again, and he especially didn't want to be present for it, but he knew that it was inevitable. He'd accepted the situation, but he refused to watch. Standing up, he sighed softly and nodded.
“Do what you need to do. Let me know when you're finished.”
Even though it made him feel like a coward, he walked into the room's joint bathroom and shut the door behind him. He felt sick knowing what you were doing in there, but there was no stopping it. Daryl sank to the floor with his back against the wall and tried his hardest not to cry. You needed him to be strong. It took quite an effort, but he was able to hold it together. After a couple of minutes, your voice rang out, softer than usual and a bit slurred.
“I'm finished, baby.”
Daryl took a deep breath, stood up, and joined you back in the bedroom. You'd cleaned up and put away any paraphernalia, but the knowledge of your habit hung heavily in the air. He didn't have it in him to try to talk, so he just lay beside you. Without saying another word, he pulled you into his arms and held you tightly, as if you were going to fade at any moment.
The heroin had fully set in, and you could no longer keep your eyes open. You felt safe in his embrace and quickly drifted off. The two of you lay in that bed, and Daryl allowed himself to break ever so slightly. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks, and he buried his face in your hair. Blissfully unaware, you slept through it all.