Work Text:
Dating was like learning to take a first step for Hongjoong. It was a process made of hesitation and impulses, marked by inevitable falls, but driven by the promise that, sooner or later, that uncertain walk would turn into a run.
He was still in the phase of learning how to stand up without falling. Every misplaced word or averted glance left a trail of doubt, a reminder of inexperience. A reminder of what it was to learn to love during adolescence. Hongjoong felt hesitant in how to express himself because his boyfriend was just too eloquent and direct.
Park Seonghwa was too much for his small heart.
Every little touch and every word left him unraveled, breaking down his barriers and turning him into a melted puddle with his compliments and gestures.
Seonghwa seemed to orbit on a different frequency, where love didn't need rehearsals or complex metaphors. To him, a "you look beautiful today" was as natural as breathing, but to Hongjoong, it was like a head-on impact that left him breathless. Park didn't skimp on affection; he surrounded him with the confidence of someone who had known how to run for a long time, holding out his hand so the other wouldn't have to fear the irregular asphalt of his own insecurity.
This disparity created a constant short-circuit in Hongjoong's mind.
He spent hours trying to architect the perfect response, the ideal gesture that would demonstrate the depth of what he felt, only to be disarmed by a simple touch of fingers on his face or a smirk Seonghwa gave him in the middle of the school hallway.
It was frustrating and fascinating at the same time: how could someone be so blatantly honest with their own feelings while he was still tripping over the tip of his own tongue?
Hongjoong was slowly learning that perfection wasn't real, and that his stumbling moments were Seonghwa’s favorites. It was those moments of vulnerability that drew his boyfriend in.
"Joongie? What are you thinking about? I can almost smell something burning." Seonghwa’s voice cut through his flow of thoughts, bringing him back to the present.
The warm touch of his hand settled on the nape of Hongjoong's neck, fingers caressing the strands of hair with a familiarity that still made the smaller man’s heart give a clumsy jolt. The heat of Seonghwa’s body pressed against his own was comforting; there, Hongjoong was able to hear every beat of his beloved’s heart.
This was his favorite part of the day: hiding away during lunch so he could lie on top of Seonghwa in silence, without distractions.
"I need to tell you something," Seonghwa murmured, his voice vibrating softly against his chest, where Hongjoong's head rested. He pulled away just enough to press a kiss to the top of the smaller man’s head, a lingering kiss accompanied by the brush of his nose against the black hair.
"Hmm?" was all Hongjoong managed to utter, his relaxed body barely supporting the idea of being awake. Seonghwa let out a low laugh, a sound as sweet as honey.
"My parents are traveling this weekend. I want to spend a weekend with you, you know... just the two of us alone..." He didn't hesitate; he didn't beat around the bush. He simply let out the sentence he had been keeping under lock and key in his heart.
And Hongjoong knew.
His boyfriend wasn't being subtle about that part of the relationship. In the last few days, he had noticed that Seonghwa kissed him with intensity—wet, lingering kisses; without any shame, he would press his body against Hongjoong's, pinning him.
The silence that followed was filled only by the sound of Hongjoong's breathing, which suddenly seemed too short for his lungs. He wasn't a fool; the subtext of that invitation glowed like a neon sign.
Seonghwa's "just the two of us alone" carried the weight of all the discoveries they had yet to make, of territories where Hongjoong’s hands did not yet have the courage to explore.
Yet, something inside him stirred; he wanted to taste every little experience the relationship could provide. After all, he was just a teenager in love.
"I... I accept. I want to spend the weekend with you." He felt a shiver run down his spine as the hand that had been caressing his hair moved slowly down, stopping at the curve of his waist and applying minimal pressure, but enough for Hongjoong to feel Seonghwa's warmth through the uniform.
Hongjoong finally lifted his face, meeting Seonghwa's gaze. The older man’s eyes were dark and calm, but with an expectation that made Hongjoong tremble.
"You have no idea how much I wanted to hear that," Seonghwa confessed, leaning in and sealing the promise with a kiss that was different from the others—it was deep, their tongues intertwining like a waltz.
Hongjoong felt his senses falter, that "melted puddle" feeling returning with full force as he clung to Seonghwa's shoulders to bridge the height between them. The taller boy’s body was pressed to the ground while he held his boyfriend.
When the kiss finally broke, leaving only the sound of heavy breathing and the brushing of foreheads, the world seemed to have shifted on its axis.
Hongjoong still kept his fingers buried in the fabric of Seonghwa's shirt. The intensity of what had just happened left his lips tingling and his mind, for the first time, in absolute silence.
Seonghwa watched him with a tenderness that almost hurt, his fingers now tracing the contour of Hongjoong's flushed cheek. "Let your parents know, Joongie. I want to play Animal Crossing and build Lego all weekend long!"
"Lego, Seonghwa? Seriously?" Hongjoong arched an eyebrow, though the smile on his still-swollen lips gave him away completely.
Seonghwa shrugged, bringing his face close again just to give a quick, loud peck on the tip of Hongjoong's nose.
"Silly boy, we’re going to build something else!" the older one murmured, helping him up and brushing a trail of dust off his boyfriend's uniform, giving a few light pats on the other's back.
"You…" Hongjoong began, his voice failing miserably as he watched Seonghwa walk ahead of him with an irritating calm, as if he hadn't just dropped an emotional grenade in the middle of the courtyard. "Park Seonghwa, you have no filter at all!"
Seonghwa just looked over his shoulder, flashing a mischievous smile that lit up his face in an almost angelic way, if not for the wicked glint in his eyes.
"I love you! Have a good class! Joongie, say you love me!" Seonghwa shouted without a hint of shame, right in the middle of some teenagers from his class. Hongjoong stopped in his tracks, feeling the gaze of a few curious students around him, but his attention was caught only by that tall, bold figure walking away with a wave of his hand.
"Idiot!" Hongjoong exclaimed, his voice coming out a bit louder than planned, which made him hide his face between his shoulders immediately after, quickening his pace in the opposite direction.
He felt his heart hammering against his ribs, a mix of adrenaline and a silly happiness he didn't quite know how to carry yet. Even as he climbed the stairs, the shy smile had not yet faded from his face.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Hongjoong stood before Bumjoong's door for exactly five minutes. He would raise his hand to knock, hesitate, and let it fall against the side of his thigh. The hallway seemed suddenly very silent, and the sound of his own heart beating in his ears was almost deafening.
“It’s just Bum. He’s your brother. He’s seen you cry because you lost a toy; he’s not going to judge you for this,” he thought, though he knew the probability of becoming a joke at breakfast was at least 80%.
He took a deep breath, wiped the sweat from his palms onto his pajama pants, and, without giving himself time to back out, turned the doorknob.
"Hey, Bum..." Hongjoong began, entering even before being invited and sitting on the edge of his brother's bed, hands gripping his knees. "I need to ask you something. But you have to promise you won't laugh, you won't tell our parents, and for God’s sake, you won't make it weird."
Bumjoong took off his headphones, arching an eyebrow at his brother's nervous state.
"By the look on your face, what did Seonghwa do? Oh! No! Let me guess! He asked you out?" the older one commented, closing his laptop.
Hongjoong felt his face heat up to the roots of his hair. He looked away to a fixed point on the floor, his voice coming out almost as a whisper:
"He invited me to his house this weekend, like... just the two of us," he stuttered, hands gesturing frantically in the air before falling dejectedly. "How does... you know... how does it work between two guys? Like, at that moment, you know? I don't want to mess everything up because I don't even know where to start."
Bumjoong pondered the question, putting a hand to his chin in a pensive pose.
"Joong, I’d love to help you, but you know... I don't eat guys?"
Hongjoong stood frozen for a second, processing the sentence, before burying his face in his hands with a groan of frustration.
"I know you don't like guys! I just thought... I don't know, you're older! You have friends, you watch things, you must know the biological theory of the thing!" Hongjoong exclaimed, his voice muffled by his palms. "I'm desperate, okay?"
Bumjoong let out a genuine laugh. "Okay, okay! Sorry!" He said, sitting up more seriously. "There are certain responsibilities that need to be handled. I’m not talking about pregnancy or anything—I hope Seonghwa can’t get pregnant! But about special care for the body, especially for the one 'taking it,' you understand?"
"Taking it?" Hongjoong felt a shiver run through his body, and the word "taking" seemed to echo off the bedroom walls.
"Joong, it’s a matter of anatomy. If you guys decide to go down that path, it takes patience, lots of lube, and above all, hygiene. If you’re the guy receiving, your body wasn’t exactly 'made' for that the same way a woman's is, so you have to prepare the ground. Do you understand what I mean by 'prepare'?"
"How can Seonghwa be so chill about this? He acts like it's the most natural thing in the world!"
"Probably because he's nervous too, but he's better at hiding it." Bumjoong gave his younger brother an encouraging pat on the back. "Look, the secret is not to rush. And please, use a condom. There are no babies, but there are diseases, and I don’t want to have to explain to Mom why my little brother has problems down there just because he was careless with his boyfriend!"
"I get it, Bum! I get it!" He stood up hurriedly, feeling that if he stayed there another second, his ears would catch fire. "Thanks. For not laughing... much."
"It's fine, I'm your brother. And Joongie?" Bumjoong called out, making the smaller man pause. "If you feel uncomfortable or if you’re not ready when the time comes, there’s no problem at all in just saying 'no,' okay? Seonghwa likes you; it’s not an endurance test. If it hurts, stop. If it gets weird, laugh. Sex between two guys can be a bit... messy at first, and that’s okay."
Hongjoong stopped with his hand on the doorknob, his shoulders relaxing for the first time that night. "Thank you, for all of that. Goodnight."
He left the room and closed the door with a soft click, leaning his back against the cold wood of the hallway. Hongjoong stood there, processing every word. He walked to his own room and collapsed onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.
His hand fumbled over the sheet until it found his phone. The browser icon glowed like a challenge. He typed "first time between men" into the search bar but deleted it immediately after, feeling like a criminal. There was an unread message from Seonghwa. He opened the chat. There was a message from ten minutes ago: “Can’t wait for Saturday. I’m going to prepare something special for dinner. Love you!!!!!!:3”.
Hongjoong smiled, his fear giving a small amount of space to a sweet anticipation. He was still terrified, but for the first time, curiosity was greater than the fright.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The week flew by like a bird. Hongjoong could barely contain his anxiety when thinking about the long-awaited weekend. For days, he spent hours researching and trying to understand how it all worked, about dynamics and necessary precautions. His mind was a library on sex. He knew everything that was necessary—or at least, everything he believed was necessary.
For days, his thoughts screamed: Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Seonghwa. Like never before, his body and soul craved his presence.
But standing there, in front of Seonghwa's door with his backpack heavy on his shoulders, Hongjoong felt like a computer about to crash. He pressed the doorbell twice. The secret code they had created at the beginning of their relationship so they wouldn't be caught—the signal for the other to know it was Hongjoong waiting there.
When the door opened, Seonghwa wasn’t wearing his usual school uniform. Now, he wore a long, oversized t-shirt, three times his size, with small shorts that barely covered his golden thighs.
Hongjoong felt the words dry up in his throat.
"Are you going to just stand there staring at me, or are you coming in, Joongie?" Seonghwa tilted his head to the side, a small, knowing smile playing at the corner of his lips.
"I... wow. Hi. Yes. Come in. Me." Hongjoong managed to articulate, tripping slightly on the welcome mat as he stepped through the door.
The sound of the door closing behind them felt like the fuse for the silence of the house to become dense. He still clutched the straps of his backpack against his chest, as if that fabric were the only thing keeping his heart from jumping out.
"Are you okay, Joongie?" Seonghwa teased, stopping inches away. He reached out and, with an almost irritatingly gentle touch, removed the backpack from his hands. "Leave that here."
"The house is so quiet," Hongjoong managed to say, his voice coming out a bit raspier than intended. His hands, now free from the weight of the bag, felt lost at his sides, not knowing where to rest.
"My parents are already gone. We're alone," Seonghwa confirmed, leaving the backpack on the floor and turning his full attention back to his boyfriend. "Did you eat before coming? I was cooking something for us, come on."
Hongjoong nodded, feeling his legs still a bit shaky as he followed Seonghwa down the hallway. His eyes traveled from his boyfriend's head to his toes, watching how he moved.
"I'm not the best cook in the world, but I made some Tteokbokki for us. I hope you like spicy sauce."
"You cook? I didn't know that..." Hongjoong asked, curious about this new discovery regarding his boyfriend.
"Only when I want to impress someone important. Like, my beautiful, sweet-smelling boyfriend," Seonghwa replied, turning off the stove and turning around to face Hongjoong.
Hongjoong laughed—a nervous but genuine laugh—feeling Seonghwa's hands rest gently on his shoulders.
They settled at the small kitchen table. Steam rising from the bowl brought a strong aroma of chili that made Hongjoong’s nose tingle. He watched Seonghwa serve the portions calmly, considering that Hongjoong looked like he might melt at any second.
"I love spicy food," Hongjoong lied slightly.
"Careful, it's hot," Seonghwa warned, his voice vibrating in a way that seemed to caress the back of Hongjoong's neck.
Hongjoong blew on the first strand of noodles and took a bite. The spice seeped into all of his senses, the burn sliding down his throat; the sensation was desperate, like eating a pot of volcanic lava. He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. He tried to keep his composure, but his throat seemed to have abandoned him.
"You don't eat anything spicy, do you? Your face is boiling with just one bite!" Seonghwa laughed uncontrollably, clutching his stomach mid-laugh.
Hongjoong tried to shoot a death glare at his boyfriend, but it was hard to look threatening with watery eyes and a red-tipped nose. He coughed, fanning his tongue with his hand while desperately searching for a glass of water.
"Seonghwa!"
Seonghwa finally caught his breath, wiping a tear from his own face caused by the laughing fit. He stood up, grabbed a glass of milk from the fridge, and handed it to the smaller boy.
"Masochist," Seonghwa teased, circling the table. He stopped behind Hongjoong's chair and, with a gesture full of affection, brushed a few strands of hair away from his boyfriend's sweaty forehead.
Hongjoong lifted his face, still recovering his normal color.
Seonghwa leaned in, leaving a quick, cold kiss—chilled from the glass of milk—on the younger man’s burning cheek. "You are adorable, my sweet, cute baby."
"I'm not cute," Hongjoong grumbled, though his voice held no conviction at all.
Seonghwa gave his ear a playful, affectionate flick and started gathering the bowls, a residual smile still on his lips.
"Movie? Or are we playing games?" he asked curiously, trying to find a pastime for them both to enjoy during the day ahead.
Hongjoong finished the last sip of milk, feeling his mouth finally return to room temperature. He looked at Seonghwa, who was now drying his hands. How could that boy look so good doing something as casual as that?
"Games," Hongjoong replied too quickly, clearing his throat immediately after to hide his enthusiasm. "I brought my console. And I don’t plan on showing you any mercy after you tried to assassinate me with that food."
Seonghwa let out a short laugh, tossing the dish towel onto the counter.
"Oh, really? So the baby wants a rematch? Cute!" He stepped closer, extending his hand to help Hongjoong up from the chair.
They walked to the living room, where Hongjoong's backpack waited for them, lonely on the rug. Seonghwa flopped onto the sofa in a relaxed way, tapping the empty space beside him. Only the light from the hallway illuminated them; the room was bathed in a comfortable half-light.
"Sit here. I don't usually let guests win out of politeness! I hope you know that, Mr. Kim Hongjoong," Seonghwa teased, throwing that sidelong glance that always made Hongjoong forget how to put a sentence together.
His boyfriend's bright eyes were like stars in the sky, pointing the way, indicating his destiny.
Hongjoong settled in, letting his shoulder rest against Seonghwa's naturally. "Mr. Kim Hongjoong? We’re getting old fast! I'm only seventeen!"
"Only seventeen, but with the back of an eighty-year-old man," Seonghwa shot back without missing a beat, letting out a crystal-clear laugh that echoed softly through the room.
He didn't pull away when he felt the weight of Hongjoong's shoulder against his; on the contrary, he leaned in subtly to close any gap of air still between them, resting the side of his head against Hongjoong's hair.
"I want to destroy you in Mortal Kombat," Seonghwa continued, his voice dropping a notch, now closer to Hongjoong's ear. He picked up one of the controllers but didn't turn it on immediately. Instead, he used the tip of the device to lightly poke his boyfriend’s knee.
"You are impossible," Hongjoong murmured, finally picking up the second controller and feeling the familiar texture of the plastic under his fingers. "Don't blame me if you cry after losing to me."
Seonghwa arched an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips in the shadows. "Is that a challenge? Because if it is, I want to bet on something."
The words caught the smaller man by surprise. The idea of betting on something Seonghwa wanted was tempting, given the endless possibilities in real-time. What would he ask for? Hongjoong felt his skin crawl with goosebumps at the thought of the bet’s implication.
Hongjoong squeezed the controller tighter, trying to focus on the black screen in front of him instead of the heat rising up his neck.
"A bet, huh?" He finally managed to say, trying to regain his posture. "And what would the 'game master' like?"
Seonghwa pulled back just enough to look directly into Hongjoong's eyes. "If I win..." the taller one began, leaving the sentence hanging in the air while distractedly running his thumb over the controller's analog stick. "I want to have sex with you, tonight."
A brief silence set in; the words hovered between them, floating, leaving both boys anxious. Every touch, kiss, and caress raced through their minds, expectations rising gradually, slowly clouding their sanity.
"You don't play to lose, do you?"
Seonghwa didn't look away. He tilted his head slightly, the bluish light from the console's TV reflecting in his pupils, giving him a look that was predatory and, at the same time, irresistibly sweet.
"I told you I wouldn't show any mercy," Seonghwa whispered, his voice vibrating softly.
Hongjoong licked his lips, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Seonghwa’s attentive eyes. "I accept," he replied, his voice finally gaining firmness, though charged with a new intensity.
He turned to the screen, turning on the controller with a sharp click that sounded like a starting gun.
Seonghwa smiled—a satisfied smile, the look of someone who had gotten exactly the reaction he wanted.
"May the gods of Mortal Kombat help us, then, Joongie," Seonghwa murmured, finally pressing start.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The fourth round began with an aggression that was different from the usual. Hongjoong felt cold sweat break out on his hands, making the controller slippery. He could hear Seonghwa's steady breathing beside him—a sound that excited and terrified him in equal measure. Small, indignant sighs escaped the taller boy's lips; Hongjoong could notice the imminent nervousness.
"You know," Seonghwa whispered, leaning in just enough for his breath to brush against Hongjoong’s ear, a whiny, playful tone taking over. "Joongie, you aren't going to let me win at all, are you? Don't you want me? Or do you just not like the idea? You always tell me when the things I say cross your comfort zone."
The sound of buttons being frantically clicked decreased in intensity. Hongjoong felt the impact of those words as if the character on the screen had hit him directly in the chest. Seonghwa’s question—laden with an insecurity he rarely showed—made Hongjoong’s mind go silent instantly.
He stopped attacking. His character on the screen stood static, taking automatic hits, while Hongjoong's attention turned entirely to the warmth of Seonghwa's body beside him.
Hongjoong dropped the controller onto his thighs, his hands still trembling, but now for a completely different reason. He turned to face Seonghwa, meeting those eyes that, despite the bluish glow of the TV, looked vulnerable and anxious for confirmation.
"Hwa, this isn't about wanting you or not. We both want this, I want this, but I'm afraid of how it's going to work. I don't want to hurt you; it's the last thing I’d ever want to do in my life." He licked his lips, searching for the words he had rehearsed all week, but which now seemed too simple. "I’ve barely... masturbated a few times in my life; I'm not confident about my sexual skills. Don't get me wrong, I want everything with you, I'm just not as open about it as you are."
Seonghwa’s gaze softened instantly. The whiny tone and the confident gamer pose dissipated, giving way to a small, genuine smile tinged with relief. He realized he wasn't the only one there faking a courage he didn't have. He let out the breath he seemed to have been holding for hours. The game controller, now forgotten on the floor, continued to emit flashing lights, but neither of them cared. The silence that followed was no longer tense or loaded with doubt; it was a silence of understanding.
"Joongie..." Seonghwa began, his voice returning to its natural tone, without the provocation or the whining from before. "I practiced in front of the mirror for days. I'm not as confident as you imagine; it's just my mouth being faster than my brain."
Seonghwa reached out and, with extreme tenderness, touched Hongjoong's face, running his thumb up his cheekbone.
"You’re never going to hurt me if we’re taking care of each other. There isn't a 'right way' that you need to know by heart. There’s just us. If you’re scared, we’ll go slow. If you want to stop, we stop and go back to playing video games."
Hongjoong felt his shoulders relax, the rigidity that had accompanied him all week finally giving way. The contact of Seonghwa’s skin was warm and real, much better than any description he had read on the internet.
"So..." Hongjoong started, a small smile appearing at the corner of his lips as he looked at the TV screen where the words "GAME OVER" glowed. Seonghwa laughed, a low, vibrant sound that warmed Hongjoong’s chest.
"Let’s go upstairs to shower and get our things organized. In my room, there’s a laptop we can use to watch Star Wars!"
"Not again! I've already watched them all, Hwa!" He groaned in disbelief. They had already watched all the movies more than once; the mere name sent shivers down the back of Hongjoong's neck.
Seonghwa let out a breathy laugh, standing up and reaching out to help Hongjoong off the sofa, pulling the smaller boy with force and hugging him over the shoulders while pressing quick sniffs against his boyfriend's face. Hongjoong's scent was citrusy and deep like flowers, reminding him of marigolds—his absolute favorites.
Hongjoong laughed out loud, trying to dodge—without much effort—Seonghwa’s sniffs and tickles. The strength of the hug briefly lifted him off the ground. "Let me go! I’m under attack! Help!"
But Seonghwa didn't let go; on the contrary, he tightened his arms around him.
They climbed the stairs in a clumsy rhythm, shoulders bumping into each other, until they crossed the threshold of the bedroom. The atmosphere was exactly as Hongjoong remembered: organized to the last detail, with that soft scent of fabric softener and the warm light of the lamp creating an intimate refuge. Just for them.
"Shower first, hugs and kisses later," Seonghwa murmured, finally letting him go to grab two clean towels from the closet. He paused for a moment, looking at Hongjoong with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "While you shower, I’ll get the bed ready and bring some things over."
Hongjoong took the towel extended to him, but before entering the bathroom, he stopped and grabbed the edge of Seonghwa’s t-shirt.
"Are we sleeping together?"
"Obviously, I want to spoon! You always used to run away before I could mush you. Idiot. Go." Seonghwa smiled, one of those smiles that reached his eyes, and left a quick, loud peck on the tip of Hongjoong's nose.
Minutes later, the steam from the shower still drifted lightly through the room as Hongjoong stepped out of the bathroom, wearing one of Seonghwa’s oversized hoodies that he had "borrowed"—and clearly didn't intend to return anytime soon. The smell of soap mixed with the lavender aroma of the room. Seonghwa was already settled in, his back against the headboard and the laptop balanced on his knees.
He seemed in his own world.
Hongjoong stood in the middle of the room, observing his concentrated boyfriend. The face illuminated by soft yellow lights revealed a new version of him—a version too intimate, a softness hidden from the world. The boy who was once so shy he wouldn't even speak to him, only staring from afar, was now the one leading the relationship, the one announcing to the world how much he loved Kim Hongjoong.
Seonghwa felt the gaze upon him and looked away from the screen, his focus softening as he found Hongjoong standing there. A slow, knowing smile appeared on his lips, and he closed the laptop halfway, setting it aside on the nightstand.
"Are you going to keep standing there staring at me, or are you coming to lie down?" Seonghwa teased, his voice sounding raspier due to relaxation. He lifted the edge of the comforter, creating a silent invitation.
Hongjoong finally snapped out of his trance, letting out a soft laugh as he walked toward the bed. He felt light, almost as if he were floating inside that giant hoodie. As he lay down, the mattress dipped under his weight, and in a matter of seconds, he was enveloped by Seonghwa’s arms.
The older boy kept his long-awaited promise.
He settled behind Hongjoong, chests pressing together and legs intertwining. One of Seonghwa’s hands moved to the nape of Hongjoong’s neck, long fingers caressing the still-damp strands of hair, while the other firmed its grip on his waist, pulling him so there was no gap of air between them.
Seonghwa’s bare legs touched Hongjoong’s thighs, and in that moment, his body felt an electric shock; the other’s heat seeped into the darkest areas of his mind. His fingers came to life, caressing every inch of exposed skin he could feel. Hongjoong’s breath hitched for a second, caught in his throat as he tried to process that overwhelming heat.
Legs brushing against sensitive spots, warm breath near his neck, his waist pinned to the other's hip—it was too extreme a combination. His body began to respond without being asked.
It was an involuntary surrender. Hongjoong felt his toes curl under the comforter, a sweet tension racing up his spine as Seonghwa’s heat seemed to melt whatever remained of the armor he insisted on wearing during the day.
Hongjoong feared that if Seonghwa got just a little bit closer, he would simply shatter into a thousand pieces.
Sensing his boyfriend’s silent agitation, Seonghwa didn’t back away. Instead, he moved the hand that was on Hongjoong’s waist upward, placing it flat against his chest, right over his heart. He could feel the frantic thumping against his palm—a rhythm that told the truth Hongjoong’s tongue didn’t yet know how to articulate.
Seonghwa’s voice sounded like a deep whisper, almost like a secret.
"Hey... Joongie."
Seonghwa’s eyes met his, and that was all Hongjoong needed to lung forward, kissing him deeply, forcing his tongue into the other’s mouth. Their tongues intertwined messily, the saliva making the moment even more intimate and sexy. The sound that escaped Seonghwa’s throat was a mix of surprise and delight—a muffled sound that got lost against Hongjoong’s lips. He hadn’t expected such a voracious advance, but he responded instantly, his hands abandoning the smaller man’s chest to cup his face with a new urgency. The kiss lacked the previous gentleness; it was urgent—it was the last moment of active rationality.
Hongjoong’s hands, now acting on pure instinct, got lost in Seonghwa’s hair, pulling him closer while sucking on his boyfriend’s tongue with force. Seonghwa shifted his body minimally, just enough for Hongjoong to be partially over him, without breaking the kiss for even a second.
Park, who always had the right word and the measured gesture, now found himself reduced to sighs and hands that squeezed his boyfriend’s waist with possessive strength. Feeling Hongjoong act with that hunger—sucking his tongue and pulling his hair—was like watching a star explode right in front of him: chaotic, brilliant, and absolutely impossible to ignore.
Seonghwa moved his hands from the back to the curve of Hongjoong’s thighs, encouraging him to settle better over his parted legs.
Hongjoong felt the perfect fit of their hips when Seonghwa pulled him closer, nesting him between his legs. The direct contact, even through the fabric of the hoodie, sent a new shockwave through his system. He let out a heavy sigh against Seonghwa’s lips, a sound bordering on a moan of frustration and relief. His hands, still tangled in his boyfriend’s dark strands, tightened there, seeking an anchor in that sea of new sensations.
Seonghwa broke the kiss by only a millimeter, just enough for their hot, short breaths to mix in the tiny space between them. His eyes were dark, stripped of any pose, fixed on Hongjoong with an intensity that seemed to see through every layer of his soul.
"You have no idea..." Seonghwa gasped, his voice breaking as his hands moved up from the thighs to squeeze the sides of Hongjoong’s body, feeling his ribcage expand and contract rapidly. "How long I’ve waited for this. How much I wanted you to finally see me like this... drunk on you..."
Hongjoong didn’t answer with words. He didn't need to. Instead, he leaned in again, but this time he traced a slow path with his nose along Seonghwa’s jawline until he found the sensitive spot just below the ear. Feeling Seonghwa’s body tense beneath his, he smiled against his boyfriend’s skin.
"Joongie!" A sharp moan was heard through the room, almost like a desperate cry. Hongjoong didn't retreat. On the contrary, he forced his hips against the taller man’s, pulling him into another desperate kiss. Seonghwa arched his body, seeking more contact, more heat, more of that feeling of being unraveled by his own boyfriend.
When Hongjoong finally broke the kiss to catch his air, his forehead rested against Seonghwa’s. His lips were swollen and red, and his eyes, once full of doubt, now burned with an overwhelming clarity. They would be having sex at any moment.
"Are you sure?" Seonghwa murmured, his voice nearly fading away, a last vestige of his protective instinct trying to emerge through the haze of desire. His hands trembled slightly where they held Hongjoong’s waist, waiting for a signal.
Hongjoong answered by sealing their lips again, but this time the kiss was slower, weighted with a silent promise. He moved over Seonghwa, feeling the friction that made him lightheaded, and slid his hands from the hair to his shoulders, pulling the collar of Seonghwa’s t-shirt down.
"I’ve never been so sure of anything. I want you," Hongjoong whispered against the corner of his mouth, his voice gaining a firmness that surprised them both.
The inexperience was mutual; both moved by instinct, remembering the weak spots of each other’s bodies, moving forward with confident grips and friction between their hips. Seonghwa let out a heavy sigh against Hongjoong’s neck, surrendering completely to the weight and heat of the smaller body over his. His hands, previously hesitant at the waist, slid up Hongjoong’s back beneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the texture of warm skin and the slight tremor running down his boyfriend’s spine.
"Don’t stop..." Seonghwa pleaded, his voice raspy, his erratic breath hitting Hongjoong’s collarbone.
Hongjoong felt a shiver of excitement course through him at the sound of the older boy’s vulnerability.
He pulled back just enough to look into his eyes again; the stars he had seen before now looked like supernovas, shining with an intensity that burned him in a good way. With slow movements, he began to guide Seonghwa’s hands upward, encouraging him to explore, while he occupied himself with discovering the path between his boyfriend’s neck and chest with short, wet kisses.
Every brush of fabric, every muffled click of a kiss, and the sound of synchronized breathing created a melody of its own in that room. The melody of love reaching its physical peak.
"Should we... should we take our clothes off?" Hongjoong murmured between pecks, his voice failing from lack of air, but his eyes fixed on Seonghwa’s, waiting for the confirmation that this night, finally, would belong only to the two of them.
Seonghwa felt his chest heave, his heart beating so fast it seemed to want to break through his ribs to find Hongjoong’s.
"Yes..." Seonghwa replied in a breath, his voice hoarse and marked by an urgency he no longer tried to hide.
His fingers brushed the warm skin of the abdomen, causing a visible shudder in Hongjoong. With a careful but determined movement, he helped his boyfriend rid himself of the piece of clothing, tossing it somewhere onto the bedroom rug where Hongjoong’s backpack lay.
"You are... beautiful," Seonghwa murmured, his palms now flat against Hongjoong’s chest, feeling the heat and the frantic rhythm of life there. "Soft."
Hongjoong was not to be outdone. With hands still a bit shaky, he brought his fingers to the buttons of Seonghwa’s shirt; the soft fabric fell to the sides, revealing tanned skin glowing under the soft light of the lamp at the corner of the bed.
The slim waist exposed to his eyes made Hongjoong groan through his teeth; he had always been addicted to that specific part of his boyfriend’s body—it was thin, with a hint of muscle. Firm and well-defined, a dream that was now in his hands.
His thumbs traced the curve of the hips, feeling the firm, warm skin, while his fingertips pressed lightly into the base of his back. Seeing that part of Seonghwa’s body so up close, without the barrier of fabric, was almost too much for his senses.
His penis was already hard against Seonghwa’s backside.
Seonghwa let out a low gasp, his head falling back for a moment as he felt Hongjoong’s possessive touch.
"I’ve always wanted... my god, I’ve masturbated so many times thinking about you like this!" the taller one began, his voice trembling and confused.
Hongjoong leaned forward, kissing his defined abdomen and leaving a trail up to his chest, timidly sucking on one of the hard nipples.
Seonghwa felt his legs weaken slightly, his hands seeking support on Hongjoong's bare shoulders to keep himself steady.
"Take off your shorts, now," he pleaded.
Hongjoong didn't wait a single second. With agile fingers, he reached for the waistband of Seonghwa's shorts. The taller man’s breath hitched as he felt the hurried touch slide down his hips, ridding him of the last barrier of fabric. In the process, Hongjoong also got rid of what was hindering him, letting the pieces fall forgotten on the floor, over the rug that already housed the rest of their clothes.
When their bodies finally met without any impediment, the thermal shock of skin on skin was almost electric. Hongjoong pressed his body against Seonghwa's, feeling the other's erection pulse against his own—a contact that drew a low, breathless moan from both.
"Yours is beautiful," Hongjoong murmured, his voice muffled against Seonghwa's neck, while his hands returned to that waist that fascinated him so much, squeezing it with a new possessiveness.
Seonghwa wrapped his legs around Hongjoong’s hips with an instinctive movement, pulling him closer. He buried his face in the crook of Hongjoong's shoulder, letting his boyfriend's scent intoxicate him completely.
"There's lube in the first drawer, I-I bought it a while ago..." Seonghwa gasped, feeling the smaller man’s hands explore every inch of his back and buttocks.
Hongjoong's eyes widened, shocked by the honesty. He wasn't going to judge the purchase, because he had also bought a few things on impulse, but the words implied that Seonghwa might have used it before.
"You bought it..." Hongjoong repeated softly, his voice failing as he processed the information.
Seonghwa hid his face even deeper in Hongjoong's neck, his ears burning a shade of red that was visible even in the dim light.
"I... I wanted to be ready. In case you... in case we decided it was time," he confessed, his voice muffled by his boyfriend's shoulder. "I didn't want anything to go wrong or for it to hurt."
"Have you already done... like, the...?"
"Yes, I've put my fingers inside myself thinking about you." He laughed, observing Hongjoong's incredulous expression.
"Seonghwa!" Hongjoong exclaimed, his voice coming out in a high pitch of pure shock and fascination. He felt his face burn so much he was sure he could light up the entire room. "You can't just say something like that without a warning!"
Seonghwa's laugh was low and vibrant against Hongjoong's neck, a sound laden with an honesty that disarmed any attempt to keep up appearances. He raised his face, eyes shining with a mixture of shyness and that audacity only he possessed.
"Why the shock? Didn't you want sincerity?" Seonghwa teased, though his own breath was shallow.
"You are... unbelievable," Hongjoong murmured, his hand sliding from the waist to Seonghwa's face, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb.
"You've never masturbated thinking about me?" A pout formed on his lips—Hongjoong's weakness.
Hongjoong looked away for a second, the tips of his ears almost glowing red, before letting out a defeated sigh. He turned back to face Seonghwa, seeing the amusement written on the face he loved so much.
"Of course I have, you idiot!" he confessed, his voice coming out in a hurried, raspy whisper.
Seonghwa let out a sound of satisfaction, a low purr that vibrated in Hongjoong's chest. He seemed proud of the effect he caused.
"I believe I can be even hotter and tighter," Seonghwa provoked, his hands moving up Hongjoong's arms until they intertwined at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer.
Hongjoong smiled—a smile that mixed affection and a dark lust. He reached for the bottle of lubricant in the open drawer, the sound of the cap clicking open being the only noise besides their heavy breathing.
He poured the liquid onto his fingers, the cold gel contrasting with the scalding temperature of their bodies. With almost reverent care, he turned his attention to Seonghwa’s opening, who relaxed under his touch, trusting his boyfriend completely.
When Hongjoong’s first finger finally entered, guided by the preparation Seonghwa had mentioned, the older man let out a long moan, closing his eyes and tilting his head back, exposing the line of his throat.
"That...!" Seonghwa gasped, fingers tightening in Hongjoong's hair.
A liquid confidence running through his veins, Hongjoong moved his finger in a back-and-forth motion, simulating thrusts, watching how the entrance resisted each movement. He slightly increased the pace, feeling Seonghwa’s internal heat envelop his finger like a glove. With every movement, Seonghwa arched his back, letting out broken sighs that seemed to encourage Hongjoong to go further.
"You weren't joking about being tight, Hwa."
Seonghwa let out a sharper moan, his hips involuntarily rising to seek more contact. "Hongjoong... please..." he begged, his voice trembling, while his nails lightly scratched the smaller man’s scalp.
Hongjoong stopped the movements for a second, fingers still inside Seonghwa, feeling his internal walls pulse around his hand. He looked up, finding Seonghwa's face bathed in sweat and desire, lips parted and swollen from their previous kisses. The liquid confidence Hongjoong had felt now transformed into absolute determination.
He slowly withdrew his fingers, hearing the wet sound that the silence of the room amplified, and positioned himself again. The contact of the tip of his erection against Seonghwa’s prepared entrance made both of them stop breathing for an instant.
"Look at me," Hongjoong asked, his voice filled with a gentle authority.
Seonghwa opened his eyes, dilated pupils focusing on his boyfriend. He gripped Hongjoong's hands tightly, anchoring himself.
"I'll go slow," Hongjoong promised, before beginning to push himself inside, feeling the delicious pressure and the overwhelming heat that only Seonghwa could offer.
Seonghwa let out a sound that wasn't a moan, nor a scream, but a long, trembling sigh that carried all the weight of those months of expectation. His nails dug into Hongjoong's shoulders, and he closed his eyes tightly, his head shaking from side to side on the pillow.
"Hongjoong..." he gasped, the name coming out like a prayer.
"Shhh, breathe, Hwa. I’m here," Hongjoong murmured, though he himself was struggling to maintain control. He stopped when he was halfway in, waiting for Seonghwa to get used to the new fullness. He leaned forward, kissing the sweat on his boyfriend's forehead and meeting his lips in a long, comforting peck. "Does it hurt? Should I stop?"
"No..." Seonghwa opened his eyes, and the glow in them was pure adoration, despite the haze of pleasure.
With the encouragement, Hongjoong finished the path, letting out a low growl as he felt himself completely enveloped by Seonghwa. They stayed static for a few seconds, just feeling each other's heartbeats synchronize through their pressed chests.
When Hongjoong began to move, the rhythm was uncertain at first—a mixture of the hesitation of someone who had never been there with the hunger of someone who wanted everything at once. But soon, instinct took over. The movements became more fluid, the thrusts finding the right angle that made Seonghwa arch his body and let out disjointed moans that were music to Hongjoong's ears.
The emotional overload was so great that the smaller man couldn't contain his tears, letting them run down his face as he thrust into his boyfriend. Seeing Seonghwa there, surrendered, calling him with such affection as their bodies became one, was the realization of a dream he barely dared to admit out loud.
"You're doing so well... Yes, baby!" Seonghwa whispered, his legs tightening around Hongjoong's waist, pulling him deeper with every movement.
Hearing the "baby" whispered between Seonghwa's moans, a low sob escaped Hongjoong's lips. He leaned down, supporting his forearms beside Seonghwa’s head so as not to dump all his weight on him, and joined their foreheads. Hongjoong's tears ended up wetting both their cheeks, mixing with the sweat on their skin.
"Why are you crying, my love?" Seonghwa murmured, his voice broken, moving one of his hands to Hongjoong’s face to dry the damp trail with his thumb, even while his body still reacted with spasms of pleasure to the younger man's thrusts.
"It’s just... I love you so much," Hongjoong confessed, his voice raspy and choked with emotion. "It’s so good that it actually hurts."
Seonghwa smiled—a genuine, sweet smile that lit up his face even under the dim light. He pulled Hongjoong's face into a deep kiss, a kiss that proved the connection of their souls.
"I love you too, Joongie. So much it doesn't fit inside me. Hongjoongie... now... I can't..." Seonghwa couldn't finish the sentence, his voice fading as he approached the limit.
His body convulsed as he felt the overwhelming wave of orgasm take over. His back arched to the maximum, his eyes rolled back until only the whites showed. It was as if he were deaf, too overloaded to bear it all; his body went limp immediately after, becoming malleable.
Hongjoong squeezed Seonghwa's waist, feeling that he too was reaching his peak. He gave a few final thrusts, faster and more intense, feeling his boyfriend's internal walls pulse around him in a tight, frantic embrace. Without warning, he ejaculated, filling the other's interior. For him, the wave of orgasm was calm, warm, and lasting, with no intention of disappearing quickly.
"Hwa? Seonghwa? Are you okay?" Hongjoong sounded desperate as he observed Seonghwa’s limp, flaccid body struggling to breathe.
Slowly, Seonghwa let his heavy eyelids drop, a weak and almost drunken smile appearing on his swollen lips. He let out a long sigh that seemed to have been held for an eternity and moved his limp hand to the nape of Hongjoong's neck, pulling him into a tender forehead-to-forehead contact.
"I... I'm great," Seonghwa finally managed to babble, his voice coming out like a thread.
Hongjoong let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding, letting his own body relax and collapse gently onto Seonghwa’s chest. The sound of his boyfriend’s heartbeat, still fast but rhythmic, was the most comforting sound he had ever heard in his life.
"You scared me, you idiot," Hongjoong murmured against his warm skin, his tears now drying and giving way to a smile of relief. "I thought I had broken you."
Seonghwa let out a raspy laugh, the sound vibrating through his chest directly into Hongjoong’s. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man, squeezing him in a bear hug, his legs finally relaxing on the mattress.
"Maybe you broke me a little... but in the best way possible," Seonghwa replied, turning his face to kiss the top of Hongjoong’s head.
They stayed there for a long time, enveloped in the silence of the room and each other’s scent, letting the adrenaline fade and tenderness take control.
"Will you help me shower? You didn't use a condom."
"I... that's true. I'm sorry, Hwa, I completely lost myself in the moment," Hongjoong murmured, guilt and shyness fighting for space in his voice as he began to move to get off his boyfriend. The wet sound of their bodies separating made them both blush even deeper in the silence of the room.
Seonghwa reached out, catching Hongjoong’s wrist before he could pull too far away, a soft and understanding smile on his lips.
"No need to apologize, Joongie. I liked it."
Hongjoong smiled, his previous panic replaced by an instinct to care. He stood up, feeling the cool air of the room against his bare skin, and extended his hand to Seonghwa, helping him steady himself.
"Come here. I’ve got you," Hongjoong promised, sliding his arm around Seonghwa’s slim waist—that same waist he had been admiring and squeezing so possessively just moments ago.
They walked slowly to the bathroom, leaning on each other, coordinated like dancers. The cold tile under their bare feet was a welcome thermal shock. Hongjoong turned on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up before pulling Seonghwa under the warm spray.
The water began to run over their bodies, washing away the sweat, the lubricant, and the physical traces of that first time, but the feeling of connection remained intact. Hongjoong grabbed the sponge and soap, starting to clean Seonghwa’s back with gentle, circular motions.
"Are you really okay?" Hongjoong asked softly, resting his forehead against his wet back for a second.
Seonghwa turned around inside the narrow shower stall, facing Hongjoong. Water fell over his hair, sticking the strands to his forehead. He cupped Hongjoong’s face with soapy hands, looking at him with a sweetness that made the younger man's heart leap.
"I’m perfect, Joongie. I’ve never been better," Seonghwa replied, leaning in for a calm kiss that tasted of water and soap.
Hongjoong laughed, a light and happy laugh that echoed through the bathroom.
Once clean and with the heat of the shower still radiating from their skin, they returned to the bedroom in a comfortable silence, only the sound of a light rain beginning to tap against the window outside. They put on light, loose clothes—Hongjoong ended up taking one of Seonghwa's t-shirts, which looked adorably oversized on him.
They tucked themselves under the messy sheets, which still held the warmth of the previous moment. Seonghwa lay on his side, making room for Hongjoong to fit against his chest, and the smaller man didn't hesitate to nestle there, resting his ear over his boyfriend’s heart.
"Thanks for today," Hongjoong whispered, feeling the rhythmic caress of Seonghwa’s fingers in his hair.
"Joongie, I love you so, so, so much," Seonghwa replied, his voice heavy with sleep and peace. He received a few mumbles in return, something that sounded like an "I love you too."
There, wrapped in each other's arms, exhaustion finally won over adrenaline, and they fell asleep with the certainty that, although the bet had started with a game, what they had won was something no console would ever be able to process.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Two days later, upon arriving home, Hongjoong was met by his parents and his brother sitting at the table in silence, just waiting for him.
"Hm? Did something happen?" He still had that silly smile of someone who had just spent the best weekend of his life, but his father’s serious expression and his mother’s deathly silence made him grip his backpack straps tightly.
"Sit down, son," his father said, pointing to the empty chair.
Hongjoong obeyed, feeling as though he were in an interrogation. His older brother, hiding a smirk behind a mug of coffee, wasn't helping at all.
"We received a call from Seonghwa’s mother," his mother began, crossing her arms. Hongjoong felt the blood drain from his face. He was screwed. "She said you forgot something very important at her house. Something that, according to her, you can't live without."
Hongjoong’s eyes widened, his mind racing a mile a minute. "I... I forgot?"
His brother couldn't take it anymore and let out a loud laugh, slamming the table and uttering the most ridiculous words ever spoken in history.
"My brother is a real man now!"
His brother’s shout echoed through the kitchen, making Hongjoong wish the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He felt the heat rise through his cheeks, hitting his ears and neck in a shade of crimson that left no room for doubt.
"For God’s sake, shut up!" Hongjoong hissed, trying—unsuccessfully—to maintain a dignified posture while shrinking into his chair.
"Seonghwa’s mother called to let us know she’d be away for the weekend; you didn't tell us you were going on a romantic getaway. I hope you two enjoyed yourselves," his mother said with a small laugh.
"They definitely did, look at his neck!"
"Bumjoong, shut up!"
Bumjoong wouldn't back down, pointing his fork at the purplish mark Hongjoong was desperately trying to hide by pulling up his shirt collar.
"I’m going to die, this is it," Hongjoong grumbled, burying his face in his hands, feeling that if he got any redder, he would spontaneously combust.
"Don't be dramatic, Joongie!" his mother said, standing up to plant a stray kiss on the top of her son's head. "We're happy you have someone like Seonghwa. Just... next time, try not to leave such obvious marks, or your brother will end up telling the whole neighborhood."
"I’d already have posted it in the family group if I wasn't afraid of you breaking my keyboard!" Bumjoong teased, raising his hands in surrender as Hongjoong threatened to throw a napkin at him.
"I’m going to my room," Hongjoong announced, standing up quickly. "And Bumjoong? If you open your mouth about my neck again, I’m deleting all your Mortal Kombat saves."
"Hey! That’s foul play!" his brother shouted back, but Hongjoong was already heading up the stairs with a massive smile on his face.
Closing his bedroom door, he threw himself onto the bed, feeling Seonghwa’s scent still clinging to his clothes. He grabbed his phone and saw a notification: “My mom said she called your parents >///<. I’m so embarrassed! But I miss you already, I want more ૮ • ﻌ - ა”
Hongjoong smiled, typing back quickly: “Miss you too, we’ll do more soon ദ്ദി◝⩊ ◜). Bumjoong is an idiot. Love you Hwa!!!!!! xoxo”
The sun shining outside and the birds singing happily were all he needed to keep that silly grin on his face. He felt loved, and light. He loved Seonghwa—the boy who taught him how to run, how to speak, and how to express himself. The light at the end of the tunnel. His guiding star.