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The sound of an old, black and white movie rumbles on in front of them, though they’re not really paying attention. It’s not like they’re watching the film for entertainment, anyways; really, it’s just to distract them from what’s really gnawing away at them. A couple of hours have passed since Alison dropped that giant bombshell on Emily, not that the blonde girl expects much from anyone when it comes to the situation ━ and it’s not in a “You’d never help me” type of way; Alison simply just… doesn’t want to ask for any favors. She’s always been like that, you know; she has to do everything on her own, and maybe it’s to prove something to somebody ━ or, well, possibly it’s just to prove something to herself. “You’ve been through a lot worse,” Alison always reminds herself, though those words are starting to get pretty damn heavy.
Emily, on the other hand, doesn’t mind helping Alison out. In fact, she practically lives off of feeling needed and, honestly, she loves it. Sure, they’ve been through hell and back together, and the others may not understand why the brunette still tends to her old (or current?) lover’s every desire, but Emily wouldn’t have it any other way ━ and maybe that’s why she’s currently practically pressed against the blonde while they sit awkwardly upon the DiLaurentis’ living room couch, making sure that the other girl feels… safe .
It isn’t until Alison starts gently pressing against her own stomach with a few teardrops falling that Emily realizes, “Well, maybe she doesn’t feel all that safe,” so she shifts along her couch cushion, causing the other girl to turn around when she feels the sudden movement ━ and it’s likely because she knows Emily wants to comfort her since she’s been caught with tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Hey,” the brunette uses her thumb to wipe a stray tear as the other girl looks at her, “it’s gonna be okay.”
Alison stares at her for a moment, wondering if it really will be okay or not, but ultimately deciding that, if there’s any possibility of things working out in her favor, then she’s going to have to start working with her feelings rather than against them. “Denial will get you nowhere,” is another thing she’s often reminded herself, but she’s always fallen short in the execution.
So, without giving herself time to think any harder, Alison’s eyes flicker to the other girl’s lips and she leans in slowly, closing her eyes when she’s in close proximity ━ just a precaution since she wouldn’t be able to handle any form of rejection ━ not tonight.
Their lips meet and Alison swears she can feel Emily kiss her back for a brief moment, but it’s over before she can even melt into the kiss because, within seconds, the brunette is pulling back with a slight look of warning mixed with, well, sympathy.
“Ali,” Emily sounds regretful, and Alison can’t tell if it’s because she feels angry with herself for pulling away, or maybe because she feels like━
“You’re really vulnerable right now,” and there it is; there’s the assumption that Alison only semi-prepared for and, honestly, it’s not that she’s not vulnerable, but it isn’t the reason why she feels the strongest need to communicate with Emily through sealed lips.
Alison sits there, barely breathing and staring into Emily’s eyes, trying to somehow explain herself without the words that she can never seem to find ━ ever . So, before another second passes by, Alison tries a simple “That’s not why, I promise” in hopes that the brunette will understand that she’s never been the best with explaining herself, and maybe it’ll always be that way, even if she’ll try in due time; “Just… please, Em. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I hope we’ll discuss what we are or may be. It’s different this time, I promise,” Alison’s body language pleads.
When Emily’s lips part at the admission, Alison can practically see the wheels in her head turning as the brunette looks towards the floor, too timid to meet her blonde lover’s gaze in fear that, just maybe, she’s lying like she used to. But she’s not, and Emily understands that once she looks back into those blue eyes, flickering closed when Alison’s leaning in again and, eventually, pressing their lips together like previously. This time, however, Emily allows herself to melt into the kiss, almost feeling her mouth curve into a small smile as Alison’s mouth is against her own, and her hand moves to the blonde’s jaw to deepen the lip lock.
All remaining thoughts dissipate when Alison, herself, shifts her body forwards so she’s closer to Emily, hoping that, maybe, her nerves will soon disappear so she isn’t afraid of what could possibly happen tonight ━ or any other night, actually. She doesn’t move her hands out of her lap for an entire minute (or maybe even longer), because she doesn’t want to seem too eager or too pushy but, when their lips depart and they rest their foreheads against one another, they each see a form of desperation located somewhere within their eyes. It isn’t the kind of desperation like it had been five years ago when Alison needed Emily’s tenderness; it’s like… Alison is desperate and genuinely thankful that Emily has been there for her through thick and thin, whether or not there have been bumps along the way ━ really, she’s determined to prove that she, too, has changed, and she’s finally coming to terms with what they are, what they could be, and what they’ve been all along.