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Piece of glass and diamond may look simmilar, but they are not the same.
When one sees glass-like-diamond, it may look like a real one. You may even praise author's work, saying how beautiful it is, this type of mastery is unreachable, one of a kind. But all of it shutters by the shine of a real diamond.
Wild diamonds may have the same structure like labs, same build and glitter but one who was growing in comfort and is glorious is not the same as who went through hell to survive. They are proving worth of their existance in countless hours of battle, years of formation under harsh conditions: heat, cold and pressure.
Under the highest pressure the most beautiful diamonds are made.
But if the pressure if too high, the most beautiful and the strongest diamond can break.
Could it be called strong in the first place, then?
Uh, what a question. They say only the strongest survive in harsh realities, (read 'life'), but what about those who have highest nervous activity? Now, even further, what about demons? Demons are spirits, souls that went against Heaven's law and were thrown into an endless pit of suffering, a blood lake. All for a free will. So, what does free will means? Something you can do because you want to do it? You can stand and don't move for hours, would that be a free will? And if the free will was so precious, why does slavery exist? How can one steal one's will?
What if there is no will from the start, what's then?
They were fighting for everything and equivalent of zero. What a sad thing.
Ah. Right. Sure. Hell is when you are made to believe you don't a free will and so, never teach how to use it.
Makes sence why so many of them died and become ash and ground and trees and grass they are walking on now. In Hell, you walk on weak literally. Cruel, to say the least. Then what about Heaven? They say you dance and sing all day along, right? Such a waste of time! So many thing could be done, the eternal time spend for nothing! Wasn't Heaven a gift itself? Must be useless if so.
A gift for those who endured Hell is Heaven. So sad neither person who wrote it knows the true meaning, either a reader, who reads it, understand all what was above. To understand Heaven, you must survive blood lake in face of Hell.
But the souls of The Fallen, who will never see big fields, long trees, never ever sing and dance in choir they once used to be part of, had another rules. They can be reborn, like any other soul, just in new home, as what they called it. Some were going through countless cycles of reborn, not being able to find comfort, some needed two or three cycles. It was shown by their rank, with some exeptions, wich was Stolas and Andras and some others not so important for now.
Some choose to sleep instead. When I first thought about it I did not understand the depth of its meaning. After a long time, just wake up in a crytical moment seems to be so magical, all the reality feels alive. Most did not wake up from their so-called "sleep".
King never sleeps. They were living knowing their loved ones will die and left them to wait wait and wait. Some crystals needed over a thousand, but it was a whole different kind of demons that may not be even demons at their very core. Stolas wasn't one and thats for better. It would not be Stolas without his feeling, his melancholia that always took, never took and gave.
Some waited for millenias to escape Death's realm. To be guided, to proof you deserve a body to hold your forged spirit. Sometimes, for couple of years or a funny number of two weeks. You never can know for sure. How fast you learn or, exactly, how much you hate not to feel. Depression, to put it simply.
Last time, they had to wait for Stolas' arrival for two thousand years. It make sence why Paimon wanted to marry him off as fast as possible. To have a bit off his presence. They thought he was already a stardust, most gave up calling for him (it was feeling like mother talked to her dead child in her belly), but thanks to iron will of who called upon his stars, he was here. Queen Marigold layed egg with him at least ten time in her life time, sound impressive and it is. Her Majesty's body couldn't take it anymore and, soon after, became a star permanently. Some say, King Paimon, while doing his duty, put his gaze on one specific spot in starry sky. Only these few, who knew, left, for wich he was grateful.
Beautiful woman.. what was beautiful, what is beauty? If we see beautiful as perfect, then there is no such thing as "beauty", as we are all imperfect, starting with demons and ending with humans. Life is not perfect, it does everything to survive and live. Not everyone deserve or rather, need, to become perfect. Not everyone need to live under the sun. Those, who found no need, adapted. Beautiful, isn't it? Uh, so nice, to be alive. Ah, so nice to feel. Oh, how painful it is to feel. Ugh, what was the reason to live? There is a fish who just exists as it forgot it does exist because there is no need for it. Everyone is traumatized by the fact that we live, you can release your anger to the one who gave the life to you but you will regret it. So, do not do thing you know you will regret.
Remember: there are things that must be understood by yourself through life. Saying you found no need in another person's expirience is the highest level of disrespect.
We deem pretty and beautiful women that cannot fight back, while those who can – scary monsters. What a pathetic way of thinking!
To think about it more, intelegance has always been beautiful. So sad not everyone could understand it, so sad so many people ignore it, such a pity that some are bullied for it. And it is a tragedy when person uses it to destroy both themselves and after – others. Emotional and intelectual intelegance is respectable among those who chose path of erudition.
Then, yes, Queen Marigold was beautiful. But if thinking in logic above, no, she wasn't, she was scary. Terrifying.
Like anything in Hell?
No.
Terrifyngly elegant.
For wich we can't call Andrealphus' mother beautiful. She was pretty, she was using it while having nothing from start. She would teach both her kids how to use body and brain to get everything they desire, but they never asked questions, maybe because they never got tought how to. A deeply wounded peackcock woman. So, was intelegent in her own way. So stupidly wasted elegancy of her own kind.
Diamonds and glass are not the same. Sure they aren't, so why people mistook one for another? Could reason be in one person's unintelegance? Huh, everything comes from it. Everyone was stupid, just some were bored of having a hollow head and some desired not to do anything with it whatsoever. Sad, so much sadness, but it is life. Life herself is and always be imperfect.
Master's hands make it denser. Sometimes, impossible to break. Sometimes, even stronger than crystal.
The one who made this crystal will no longer to be seen and who made the glass unbreakable broke diamond. Uh, silly.
Huh, isn't it funny, being in Heaven shows as been surrounded by nature, while Hell is by things made up by hand. Here, actual taste is changed to suit desires and wants, never needs. Land of a free will with no free will on how to act must be genious.
As we learnt, by conditions each endured. Even amoung real crystals is rivarly. Glass, dear I say, cosplays as real diamond but it is still made from sand. Only in master's hands, glass could become stronger than crystal. But it was made by another person's efforts, by their mastery and knowlege and had nothing to do with how nature implied growth. Growth of another is impossible without knowlege of first. They choose who they will teach by themselves. Desire, passion, need for learning shaped ones mind and guids towards the light. For teacher to be teacher, they must see another's mind. Everyone had potentical but not every used it. Not everyone need to become strong but these who did were rewarded generously. Its much easier to see someone who knows and work with it. They need a kind hand, after all.
It is such a pity that glass saw itself as more beautiful then the diamond ever will. So sad diamond allowed to be outshines, it was too shy, too alive, too wise.
A land of a free will where you, to survive, must become a sadist. Where was that free will when you want to use it? So many questions, zero answers.
Glass found diamond stupid. How can he not see all the opportunities his home was giving, from respect and love to small desires, such as love. He had his sister, a poisonous flower but still a flower, he must have had an antidote from her poison. How he could waste her potential? She was crying, cursing him before and after divorce with Stopass. Crying so much she might have had her own lake.
All of it for a simple mud? Worse, horse's shit. Oh, his poor sister..
He thought of him as lesser knowlegable since he first saw him twenty years ago. This time, they arrivied almost toghether, just ten years apart. It was much less in comparison between teacher Andras and him, around four hundreed years difference. Still, not the worst.
The diamond could have anyone but he had chosen shit. While he had a flower. While he had him.
No, Andrealphus wasn't gay by any means, he was just using his body and brain for his own advantage, not as anybody would do this when could. He couldn't be one, huh? His teacher, who become both father and lover, proved him wrong by his understandment. Considering so, what he feels for Stolas is hate and desire to push him down deeper into Abyss. There was no elegancy in their relationships, no cake to spare, they were two wild animals fighting while one of them was half dead. Uh, what a win, what a win!
Stolas was more annoyed than scared of him. Andrealphus may seem like he is in control but was weak against himself and his pride. King of Pride was in more control of his ego than bird who deemed to be manipulator while be from low house. Interesting, does the Snow Marquis wants to bring him as much pain as he had recieved? Maybe if their relationships weren't so freezing cold he would call him brother, warmly and with a smile on his face disk. Genuinly. Maybe, in another life time they could love each other, his dad won't have a need to mop up very existance of that family and Stella could find spouse that will trully love her. As pure as demon's heart could love.
It wasn't his first time in Hell. Sure it is not. He was here, lived here and left faster then bullet escaping gun. His heart cannot take all the hate and blood of this land. The land they were walking on was made out of all who fall and did not endured, all, who fought back but lost, and Stolas was it's grass, its trees and plants. He died so much he lost his soul. It shattered to pieces and all his bodies were burried on a yard on the west so his father could see it and mourn. Perhaps, feel guilt. Perhaps, be embarrassed at his actions. Satisfied?
He feels it withing his very core. He was truly happy to find someone who loves him, even if this love was sick like deer at the start, now it is blooming like a gorgeous flower. Better to say – butterfly, though.
His mother was like a butterfly, beautiful and elegant. Butterflies do not live long, greating eye of intelegent viewer with its simplicity, not all caterpillars may turn into butterflies, if not, they turn into a moth, despite sharing the same strategy. Metamorphosis can take month or bit less all to die in the end. It all for two or four weeks of lifespan. Stella, on the other hand, won't turn into one soon, its probably never than "one day..!".
No, Stolas was not naïve. He wished Andrealphus to find the right path. So, he was patient. Patient must be patient.
Andrealphus, how do I need to think about you, exactly? You are failing with your own image.
Even angelic gun on his forehead won't make his brain work to find the solution. He was already beaten to half death, his sickness is getting worse and worse every minute. But he simply can't. Strange, a boy, for who thinking is a reason to live, could not understand such a simple thing. Perhaps, Stolas thought to himself, his brother-in-law twisted himself so much it was hard to see shape he took. Prince by existance always prefered algebra over geometry, seeing it as a faster way of solving problems. It may make them closer to each other, their love for mathematic was equal, and it is a big pitty his never-brother-again was too stubborn. Never heard others. And he had potencial, had aim and fire within him. They may had even become best friends, maybe even lovers, if not this deadly Sin they named Envy.
What a weird place, Hell, is. Land of a free will that is a prison.