Work Text:
Soohwan might’ve crossed the line. Of the boundary he set himself, that is.
He didn’t mean to admit that he had never dated, let alone kissed anyone, especially to Minseok of all people. Everyone admires him, including Soohwan. He's known as the Legendary Genius Monster, but his stellar gameplay isn’t the only thing that Soohwan adores.
It shouldn’t have slipped out during one of their very common midnight meetings, ones that have been happening rather frequently as of late. But it’s so ridiculously easy to just say things with Minseok around—talking about his failure of a love life was strike one, and complying with Minseok’s oh-so-awesome idea was strike two, in this particular case, at least. Soohwan had lost count of his previous strikes long ago, but he’s pretty sure that Minseok already knows way too much about him.
The thing is, Minseok is a bit of a big shot. Confessing private things like these to such an amazing person was just embarrassing; plain and simple. And it hadn’t even been that long since they had met.
Of course, there was nothing wrong with trying to strengthen their bot lane synergy; good relationships between teammates are crucial to achieving positive tournament results, and they’ve been getting along quite well. It hadn’t taken them long to grow very close to each other, because Minseok had been putting in extra effort to help Soohwan adjust to the new environment. So despite having joined T1 only recently, he built quite a strong friendship with his support, and they are very comfortable with each other as a result.
So comfortable in fact, that said support doesn’t notice anything weird in offering Soohwan kissing lessons, apparently, to which Soohwan agreed without a second thought, even though he has no idea what he had signed up for. He is a very perceptive person in general, but for some reason, Minseok’s suggestion left him slightly puzzled. What do kissing lessons look like anyway? Does Minseok just explain the entire process? Introduce him to some techniques, if any even exist? That has to be at least a tiny bit uncomfortable for both sides. But Soohwan isn’t going to question Minseok’s expertise, not when he’s so fortunate to have had a much more eventful love life; not that it matters anymore—it’s all in the past anyway, as far as he knows.
Either way, he’s about to find out just what he has gotten himself into, because he’s now standing in front of Minseok’s bedroom, feeling more hesitant to knock than usual. It feels like forever before he manages to lift his oddly heavy hand and weakly thump on the wooden door.
To his surprise, it opens almost immediately, with Minseok’s familiar smile welcoming him into the space, as it always does. “You’re here,” he greets, gesturing for Soohwan to come in.
“Hi, hyung,” Soohwan replies awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. He walks in and makes himself somewhat comfortable on Minseok’s bed and waits for the other to join him. So far, nothing out of the ordinary has happened; they often visit each other’s rooms when they’re free, and end up talking for hours on end. He’ll be fine, right?
The situation quickly escalates when Minseok decides to take a seat right in front of Soohwan, knees touching and faces just a little bit too close; now that’s uncharted territory for him. He can already feel his cheeks burning as he sits there, frozen in place, unable to move.
He’s no longer so sure whether he’ll truly be fine. Well, there is no backing out now.
“Just so you know, being so stressed will get you nowhere,” Minseok suddenly says, bringing a hand to Soohwan’s chin and tilting it so that their eyes meet. He seems to notice Soohwan’s uncertainty immediately, and is quick to react. “You wanted to learn how to kiss, right?”
Soohwan’s gaze drops to his knees again. He doesn’t reply immediately; there’s a beat of silence before he finally speaks. “I mean, yeah, but–”
Minseok lets out a giggle, which instantly makes Soohwan look back up. He doesn’t understand what exactly is so funny about his confusion. “What, didn’t expect this? How else did you think kissing lessons would look like, silly?”
“I don’t know..?”
“You’re so cute,” Minseok snorts. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, though.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I promise. Just–” Soohwan shakes his head and lets out a heavy exhale. He’s gonna be fine. “Tell me what to do, hyung.”
“Okay, first of all, calm down,” Minseok instructs, placing his hands on Soohwan’s overheating cheeks, before leaning in and giving him a small peck on the lips, successfully catching him off-guard. “Is this okay?”
Soohwan’s brain short-circuits, and he is unable to muster up the courage to stutter out any kind of response. He wants to say something, anything, but he’s at a loss for words; he feels overwhelmingly hot, his hands are getting sweaty, and his heart is beating way too fast. Yeah, he is definitely not going to be fine.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” he chokes out after what feels like an eternity, and immediately regrets his terrible choice of words when he sees nothing but worry on Minseok’s face.
“Um. Not like that,” Soohwan backtracks hastily, “I mean–” He wants Minseok to kiss him again so badly, but his fight-or-flight instinct is urging him to run. He’s lost, and his mind is getting foggy; he has never done this before, and he can’t even seem to get any words out properly.
He settles for what might possibly be the worst solution to this issue, which is returning the kiss. It is most likely a horrendous idea, because he still doesn’t know how to actually kiss someone, but all he needs to do is give Minseok a sign. He really doesn’t want to screw anything up.
Alright, here goes nothing, Soohwan thinks to himself and proceeds to hastily put his palms on Minseok’s face, mimicking his previous movements. He meets him halfway and desperately tries to get his point across, because the last thing he wants to do is ruin their friendship. Maybe working on their synergy in the bottom lane isn’t as simple as he initially thought.
The kiss barely lasts a second, and it’s dry and innocent. When he pulls away, his hands are back in his lap, and he’s once again unsure of what to do with himself. He can only pray that he hasn’t grossed Minseok out, his anxiety levels skyrocketing with each passing second.
“Sorry, I’m not good at this,” Soohwan mutters, trying to look anywhere but in Minseok’s direction. Obviously, that’s why you’re getting kissing lessons. Get a grip, he mentally scolds himself. Why did he even say that? “I– sorry. I just don’t know if I can handle this.”
I don’t know if I can handle you.
He thought the very same thing when he was set to join T1. However, that sentence seems to hold a vastly different meaning at the moment. At first, he just wanted to become an ADC worthy of playing alongside Keria, the best support; he still does. But now, due to the nature of the situation he has found himself in, he thinks there’s much more to be dealt with.
“Hey, Soohwanie, look at me,” Minseok cuts off his inner turmoil, pressing a finger to his mouth, and Soohwan actually listens. “You have nothing to apologize for, okay? One step at a time.”
For a person who teases and jokes around a lot, Minseok has always been so patient with Soohwan, making sure he feels seen and included. He doesn’t force anything on him; he just waits. Waits for Soohwan to make a move of his own, gives him all the time he needs. Maybe this is why, by some miracle, he hasn’t run back to the confines of his own room yet.
Soohwan is about to say something, anything to fill the silence, but the unspoken words are forgotten almost instantaneously as Minseok closes the distance between them once again, tilting his head and wrapping his forearms around Soohwan’s neck to bring him closer. Soohwan still doesn’t really know what to do with his own hands, so he just grabs onto Minseok’s t-shirt and holds on for dear life.
His eyes are squeezed shut, and before he even realizes it, Minseok breaks the kiss. He doesn’t know how much time has passed; he only remembers his very miserable attempts to relax, each one resulting in a failure, which stresses him out even more.
“You’re still too tense,” Minseok mumbles, leaning back imperceptibly; Soohwan can still feel Minseok’s lips brush against his mouth.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Just follow my lead,” he reassures with the softest smile, which makes Soohwan feel all weird and fuzzy on the inside. Yeah, he has no clue what that’s about.
Minseok goes back to cupping Soohwan’s cheeks, holding them ever-so-gently, the touch helping Soohwan regain his composure. He is about to lean back in, but Soohwan speaks up and momentarily prevents him from doing so, because he still doesn’t know what to do with his hands.
“Wait, where do I…” he asks hurriedly, shying away from the touch for just a split second.
“Hips, Soohwanie.”
He obeys, and his hands settle on Minseok’s waist; that’s one doubt of his cleared up. He doesn’t get to ask another question when he feels Minseok’s soft lips on his again, and the kiss feels different this time. Soohwan allows himself to loosen up, and he finds out that he actually likes being kissed like this, even though he’s not entirely sure what exactly he’s supposed to be doing. But he goes with the flow and tries to follow Minseok’s movements, which seems to work out quite well.
The longer they kiss, the easier it becomes to keep up with Minseok’s tempo. Any lingering fears Soohwan might’ve had fade into the background—he’s no longer even capable of forming any coherent thought, let alone overthinking. The sensations he’s experiencing right now turn his brain into mush, and it feels so good that he can’t even focus on anything else, like the fact that this is supposed to be just a lesson in the first place, no strings attached.
He’s so lost in the kiss, he can’t even hear the knocking on Minseok’s bedroom door.
Soohwan only grasps what’s happening once Minseok pulls away yet again, and the warmth he felt disappears in the blink of an eye. Before Minseok gets up to check the source of the sound, he flashes Soohwan an apologetic smile and whispers, “We’ll continue this some other time, okay?”
He doesn’t register what comes after Minseok leaves. He’s too busy reminiscing about the warmth of Minseok’s palms on his cheeks and the ghost of Minseok’s lips against his own. He just hopes that he looks at least somewhat presentable after, well, whatever just happened; just in case whoever interrupted their strictly educational bonding session had an inkling of an idea about what they had been doing. He’d rather not get caught in such a compromising position with his support by his new teammates, thank you very much.
Despite his temporary daze, his smile doesn’t falter. In fact, it just grows wider by a fraction at the thought of this situation occurring again; he knew Minseok would fulfill his promise.
Soohwan never would’ve thought that he’d ever be excited to attend a class.
That seemingly bizarre concept is now becoming a reality, Soohwan realizes, as he gets woken up in the early morning by none other than Minseok himself. He bursts through the door energetically, lighting up the room like a ray of sunshine.
“Rise and shine! Ready for lesson number two?” he exclaims with enthusiasm, inviting himself into Soohwan’s room as if it were an ordinary occurrence.
“Good morning? Well, since you’re already here…” Soohwan mumbles groggily, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. He could’ve slept for another hour or two, but he doesn’t mind getting up earlier if he gets to spend the morning with Minseok.
Minseok grins in response, making his way onto Soohwan’s bed and climbing onto his lap. He curls his arms around Soohwan’s neck, tugging him impossibly closer toward himself.
“Hyung?” Soohwan stutters, not used to that kind of proximity. He does the only thing he knows by now, having learned that during their previous session; he places his hands on Minseok’s waist, steadier this time. He’s still nervous—this position feels much more intimate, and Soohwan could barely handle their first kiss. He already knows today’s lesson is going to be long, in more ways than one.
He knows better than to complain, though. From this angle, Soohwan sees Minseok’s long lashes and big, starry eyes, staring intensely at him with such a deep emotion, which holds the weight of a thousand words. He finally has a chance to admire Minseok’s charming moles, adorning his face like constellations. He feels Minseok’s breath against his cheek, warm and pleasant, and the distance, or the lack thereof, makes him notice just how red Minseok’s cheeks have gotten, and then his gaze dips to Minseok’s plump lips.
He’s pretty sure he has been staring for too long. Minseok must’ve caught on, and before Soohwan knows it, he’s being pulled into a kiss again. The feeling is less foreign this time, but still distinct; it seems like his trial run is over, because Minseok’s movements have grown hungrier and rougher since their last meeting.
He can almost match Minseok’s momentum, but once he feels something smooth and warm sliding along his lip, he feels like an amateur all over again. He recognizes that it’s Minseok’s tongue, and his body immediately jerks backwards, eyes wide open.
“Oops, was that too much?” Minseok teases with a sassy grin plastered on his face.
“Hyung, you could’ve at least warned me,” Soohwan groans, his lips turning into a pout.
“But that’s no fun. Besides, you can’t just stay in one place, Soohwanie. You have to keep moving forward,” he preaches like the good teacher he is, as if it were so easy.
“Saying things like that in this context is a bit…”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it,” is the last thing Minseok says before he leans in once again, not sparing Soohwan this time. His lips are coaxed by Minseok without hesitation, and within seconds, Soohwan feels Minseok’s tongue against his own, which singlehandedly sends his brain into disarray.
He quickly gets lost in the kiss, the pleasure completely absorbing him until his mind is only filled with want. He doesn’t realize when his hands end up reaching Minseok’s soft skin under the fabric of his shirt, or when Minseok’s fingers get tangled up in Soohwan’s hair. It doesn’t even matter anymore, though, because all these sensations at once make him feel so good, Soohwan would let himself get consumed by them every single time.
Soohwan doesn’t know how much time has passed before both of them run out of breath, which sets them apart. While he is gasping for air, Soohwan only stares at the man in front of him, equally breathless. He takes in the sight of Minseok’s flushed skin and his parted lips, both in a deeper shade of red than before, and something about this image makes his heart flutter.
Minseok is really pretty like this. Disturbingly so. Soohwan almost can’t believe that he’s the one who did that.
They spend a few seconds just staring at each other like that, before the corners of Minseok’s mouth tug upward, melting into the fondest, most genuine smile Soohwan has ever seen appear on his face, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He wants to kiss him over and over, but as he leans in, he feels Minseok’s hand covering his lips.
“That’s enough for today, Soohwanie. The others are going to wake up soon,” he says, stifling a laugh. “Are you that eager to kiss me?”
Soohwan only manages to mumble something incomprehensible into the palm that’s covering his mouth with his eyebrows furrowed, and Minseok can no longer contain himself, giggling in reply. “Don’t worry, I’m just teasing you.”
“Also, you should really go get yourself fixed. You look like a mess,” he snickers, but Soohwan knows he means no harm. Minseok moves his hand, cupping Soohwan’s cheek, and swiftly presses one final peck to his lips, before pulling away.
When Soohwan looks at his reflection in the mirror later, he has no other choice but to agree with Minseok—he notices just how red his lips have gotten, or how disheveled his hair is, and when he remembers Minseok running his fingers through it, his heart skips a beat.
Yes, he responds to the unanswered question in his head. I want to kiss you again.
After that, their completely innocuous deal becomes a routine. Whenever they hang out in one of their rooms, they always end up “practicing” somehow. Soohwan doesn’t know how they haven’t been caught yet; at least that’s what he prefers to think.
It happens again after Soohwan is finished with his livestream, all cozy and comfortable under the warmth of his duvet. He’s about to fall asleep when he hears his door creak. Of course, it’s Minseok paying him another visit in the middle of the night.
“Minseokie-hyung? Aren’t you going to sleep?” Soohwan mutters, half-awake.
“Shhh,” Minseok hushes as he closes the door and makes his way towards Soohwan’s bed. “I can’t sleep. I was thinking you might be able to help me get my mind off… things.”
“Okay,” he agrees reluctantly, pushing away the quilt; he already knows where this is going, but he doesn’t mind it, even if it means losing his precious sleep. Again.
Soohwan would be lying if he said that he didn’t like their make-out sessions. Somewhere along the way, the line between practice and pleasure blurred, and neither of them wants to admit it; it’s something they have already gotten accustomed to.
It’s easier that way, Soohwan determines, as he gets pushed back down onto the mattress, the weight of Minseok’s body pressed against his own. Minseok immediately closes the remaining distance that separates them and keeps Soohwan’s lips moving with his. His movements are so full of fervor that it almost feels like he has been yearning for this for a long time, even though it has been a few days at most since their last kiss.
Soohwan’s hands settle on Minseok’s hips, keeping him in place, as if he were scared of losing the physical contact. But it’s clear Minseok has no such intentions as he slips his tongue further inside Soohwan’s mouth, and even after the countless kisses they have shared, it always manages to take him by surprise.
They kiss like that for a while, when all of a sudden, Soohwan feels teeth tug at his bottom lip, which elicits a sound so humiliating from him that it breaks them apart. Panic floods his senses, and all the pleasure he felt turns into guilt. He isn’t supposed to be enjoying these kissing lessons that much in the first place, but he got carried away.
“I’m sorry,” Soohwan blurts out, averting his gaze. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
“I–” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry, I think these aren’t just kissing lessons for me anymore.”
Soohwan attempts to explain himself as best as he can, an inch away from spiralling.
“I like you, hyung. I’m sorry.” The abrupt confession leaves his mouth so fast, he can’t even think it through. “Please don’t hate me,” he stutters after a beat of silence, hesitation evident in his shaky voice.
He doesn’t know where this sudden openness comes from; maybe the tiredness is getting to him, causing him to become more honest and vulnerable. He’s definitely going to regret this in the morning, when his senses aren’t so dulled by the serenity of the night.
If Minseok wasn’t still on top of him, Soohwan would’ve fled from the scene long ago. He feels so naked under his gaze, terrified of what he might be thinking. It should’ve been obvious from the start—Soohwan has a big, fat crush on Minseok, and he is realizing it only now, when it has stealthily slipped out of his control. Or maybe he was just too afraid of the truth, never having felt ready to admit it, even to himself.
But Minseok has always been so gentle and patient with him—almost too patient. When Minseok tilts his head, making their eyes meet, he is only looking at Soohwan with the kindest smile. His face is still cradled by Minseok’s fingers, his thumb stroking Soohwan’s cheek carefully, as if he were handling glass that could crack at any moment. It’s exactly how Soohwan feels at the moment—fragile and weak, but safe in Minseok’s hands.
“Oh Soohwanie, I could never hate you,” he whispers, brushing Soohwan’s hair away from his face, watching him like he’s the only thing that matters at the moment. “Also, what did I tell you about apologizing for no reason?”
“I–” Soohwan wants to apologize again, but he gets cut off by Minseok leaning in once more, and it feels much more natural and so real, as if his lips belonged there. The kiss doesn’t last as long as their previous ones, but it’s definitely Soohwan’s favorite so far. Instead of the usual harshness—which Soohwan also likes, don’t get him wrong—this one is all about love and tenderness. It makes his stomach do somersaults.
When Minseok pulls away, he peppers a few light kisses to Soohwan’s mouth as a gesture of reassurance. He then flops down on the mattress and shifts so that he’s face-to-face with Soohwan again, looking deeply into his eyes through the darkness.
“I like you too, Soohwanie.”
These words are stuck in Soohwan’s head, ringing repeatedly like an echo, and they only sink in after a good few seconds of contemplation. Minseok actually reciprocates his feelings? Soohwan must’ve drifted off to dreamland a long time ago.
“Really?” he finally replies, staring at Minseok in disbelief.
“Of course I do. But we’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? We should really get some sleep.”
“You’re sleeping here, hyung?” Soohwan asks, a faint blush dusting his cheeks, as if he just realized Minseok was lying right next to him. For some reason, the concept of sharing the same bed with Minseok causes him to feel shy and awkward all over again, just like during their first kiss, even though he has already lost count of how many times they’d made out. It’s such a trivial thing in comparison, yet Soohwan can’t help but feel his ears turn red.
“Can I?”
“Oh, um, sure,” Soohwan promptly responds, reaching for the duvet to drape it over both of them. He then scoots over to the side to make space for Minseok, though in the end it doesn’t really matter, because they end up cuddling anyway, finding it easier to doze off tangled in each other’s embrace.
Soohwan learned a lot from the practice he had agreed to on a whim. Apart from getting a lot better at kissing, he also found out many things about himself, namely that he has fallen in love with Minseok. Who would’ve thought, maybe these kissing lessons weren’t such a horrible idea after all—they actually proved to be rather productive. Fortunately, he’s going to be kissing Minseok much more frequently from now on.