Work Text:
Touya had never been the kind of person who had philosophised much. Life was life, as far as he was concerned, and it was difficult to become overly worked up about death when he could see his mother's ghost. Love… there had never been the need to contemplate love, before now. Touya didn't do things that were unnecessary, just as he didn't philosophise.
It had become necessary the second his love life-- potential or nonexistent, he hadn't decided-- had become this complicated.
"I make you uncomfortable."
"No, I just… you surprised me."
"Yukito is tired," Yue explained tonelessly. "I could leave, if you'd prefer."
"Don't," Touya said, and then stopped awkwardly. He was never quite sure how to act with Yue, especially since he hadn't actually gotten around to telling Yuki how he felt yet. It brought up several rather concerning problems, such as the fact that he didn't exactly know what Yue's connection with Yuki was. Were they the same person? How did that even work?
Regardless of whether or not they were the same person, however, Yue was still a part of Yuki. Touya loved Yuki, which meant he loved everything about him, which… meant he loved Yue? But Yue had a completely different personality to Yuki, which meant he was technically a different person, so didn't that mean by loving Yue he'd be cheating on Yuki?
This was making his head hurt.
Yue didn't go, though, so at least that was a start.
"I think we need to talk," Touya finished lamely.
"About?"
That was a very good question. He hadn't really thought that far ahead; they needed to talk about something, definitely, so Touya could feel less awkward if nothing else, but he had no idea what.
"… Yuki."
Or maybe he did. Yuki was constantly the first thing to mind, so it shouldn't be surprising that he was Touya's answer now just as he always was. At least this time it had been an appropriate answer. Touya recalled that once in English class they'd been practicing talking about preferences and dislikes, and a female classmate had asked him what his favourite thing was. He had been tired at the time-- too many part time jobs, common sense and Yuki informed him-- so had of course answered Yuki with absentminded honesty. He'd had to pretend that he'd meant snow and had forgotten the English word for it, which obviously hadn't been brilliant for his grade.
Yue settled back, but gave Touya a quizzical look. "Why would you ask me? You know him better than I do."
Touya frowned. "What? But… you are him, aren't you?"
Yue sighed impatiently. "Technically, that is correct. However, you must be aware that we have completely different personalities, yes?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"I don't know him as a person," Yue said bluntly. "You are the one who knows him best out of everyone."
Touya blinked, suddenly unnerved to realise that he held such an important position in Yuki's life. He'd known that subconsciously, perhaps, but it was different to hear it being spoken, particularly by someone who was a part of Yuki himself.
"Oh," he said. Then where do I stand with you?
Yue shifted, as though he were about to get up again. "Indeed. I promise not to interfere with your relationship any more. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
Yue started to get up and Touya stopped him with a hand on his wrist, both of them equally surprised by the physical contact. "Wait," he said slowly.
Yue remained frozen. "Yes?"
It had been a strange promise to make, Touya thought. Wistful, almost, as though the moon guardian was only saying it out of a sense of duty. That wasn't what Touya wanted. Maybe Yue and Yuki weren't the same person, but Touya didn't believe he could live with himself if he tried to carry on a relationship with Yuki whilst rejecting Yue. It would be as if he wasn't accepting Yuki for who he was, and that just wasn't on.
Besides, Touya was sure he could love Yue. It wouldn't be cheating, he decided, as long as Yuki knew and agreed that it was right that Touya love both of them, which knowing Yuki he almost certainly would. Yue was… sad. Isolated. Yuki wouldn't want him to feel left out and like the unwanted 'other half' any more than Touya did.
This assumed, of course, that Yuki wanted Touya to love either of them in the first place.
"We don't have a relationship." Not yet, anyway.
Yue's expression was unreadable. "Merely because Yukito is blind to some things. You will, soon enough."
That was rather encouraging. Touya hoped Yue wasn't just guessing. "I don't want you to go."
"I'm not Yukito," Yue reminded him flatly.
"I know."
"Then why…?"
Touya was still holding Yue's wrist. He tugged on it experimentally, pulling the ethereal being closer until Yue had two choices, to sit or to remain standing at an uncomfortable angle. Yue knelt gracefully on the floor in front of Touya; he was stubborn, but certainly not to the point of idiocy.
"Do you hate me?" Touya asked calmly.
Yue blinked, startled. "Why would I? You've hardly given me cause."
"Are you indifferent to me?" he continued, still in the same level tone.
This time, Yue stayed silent and unmoving for several minutes before answering. "No."
"Then why are you so intent on avoiding me?"
"I would only be intruding."
"Not if Yuki and I say you aren't," Touya countered.
Yue stared at him perplexed. "Then Yukito--"
"Didn't you say I knew him best? He'd want us to get along."
"Why are you doing this?" Yue said helplessly.
"Loving Yuki doesn't mean I hate you for being a part of him," Touya said. "Or that I can't learn to love you too."
Yue must really have found the idea that Touya could welcome his presence foreign, for he seemed speechless. Touya debated his next move carefully; he would have preferred to have told Yuki his feelings before doing something like this, but the timing was too important to wait. Yue might try to avoid him otherwise, and then he'd never get the opportunity.
Yue froze when he felt Touya's mouth pressed gently against his, hands grabbing automatically for Touya's shirt to steady himself. His mouth began to open, if somewhat hesitantly- success, Touya thought- but then there was a shifting sensation under his hands, one of which was still closed around the guardian's wrist and the other buried in the long white hair.
It became very apparent that Yue was changing back to Yuki. Touya wasn't entirely sure whether this was panic or him being a sneaky bastard, but he'd get his revenge later either way. For now, he kept kissing Yuki; it was too good a chance to waste, and he wasn't stupid.
By the time they broke apart-- being a considerable time later, all things considered, lending weight to Yue's optimistic appraisal of Touya's chances-- they had ended up lying on the floor with their legs tangled together, Yuki's blushing and bewildered face looking up at Touya.
"T…To~ya?"
This could probably be quite badly misconstrued, Touya realised, if he was interrupted yet again before he could explain. Well, there was one way he could get both problems out of the way at once.
"… Yuki, would it bother you if I loved Yue as well as loving you?"
"Of course not, I'd be more disappointed in you if you didn't," Yukito said automatically, and then his mind ground to a visible halt as it caught up to his mouth. "You love me?"
"What do you think, idiot?" Touya said fondly. "I've only tried to tell you a thousand times or so. Sometimes I wonder if you're daft."
"Oh," Yuki answered, somewhat sheepishly, and hid his face in the curve between Touya's neck and shoulder. "I love you too," he added, if somewhat muffled.
Touya smiled, pulling Yuki closer against him and basking slightly in the warmth and comfort. He'd finally caught one love, and the other would not be able to run for much longer.
The world was suddenly a much brighter place. Looked like his jinx of being perpetually interrupted at the wrong moment had been lifted. About time, too.
"Nii-san? Did you and Yukito-san want afternoon-- eek! I'm sorry!"
…Bugger. He'd spoken too soon.
Maybe catching Yue was going to be harder than he thought.