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Stage fright

Summary:

Song Huai gets stage fright when he realizes he's all alone and doesn't know anyone in the audience.

Notes:

in the novel Song Huai mentions to himself he has stage fright from an incident as a child when he was supposed to sing and no one was there. This is what I THINK happened.
Song Huai's nickname is Dudu cause as a baby he liked trains.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Song Huai was a musical prodigy, his voice was one of the most lovely and light things out there, a voice like an angel the elders would say.

He knew that most mer like himself had lovely voices but most refused to sing in front of humans. He didn’t mind, his best friend Gu Yang was a human, the people who swarmed around him with big tooth smiles were human too, they loved his voice.

The little fish was almost ready to sing, he stood in a large theatre and was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of dozens of others who had already performed or were about to. Looking around, the young mer nervously stood by a large red curtain, his big violet eyes watching the people around him moving instruments, cords and microphones to the side. Preparing for their spot in the program.

He looked up at the large vaulted ceiling, his eyes caught by the stage lights above, four large white lights shining on the stage. His eyes were caught by the colorful ones though, pointed high they were close enough to the roof to bounce off it, creating a colorful barrage of colors that looked like they were underwater, dancing and bouncing dreamily off the ceiling.

 

It reminds him of the time his older cousin took him to the ocean at low tide, his cousin said he knew how to avoid the surveillance cameras, that they’d be safe.

They were safe. They went to the water late at night, the inky black only roared and frothed at the surface, this was one of the first times he saw the ocean at night. It was massive, black and screamed at him.

Afraid of the roaring water he shrunk behind his cousin, his little hands pulling against the larger.

“I’m scared,” he cried, holding onto the arm beside him, shielding himself.

Leaning down on a knee his cousin took his hand in his, smiled and said,

“You have no need to be afraid, Dudu, I know the surface looks scary but we won't stay up top for long.”

Standing up he started to lead him in the water, hugging the side of a large stone gate they followed it to the shore.

“We’ll follow this gate to the bottom, there's a reef down there, and at this time it sings, you’d love it Song Huai!”

Trusting the man, he followed. He took a tentative step into the frigid water, the cold didn’t bother him but the rough waves already lapping at his ankles did, he was afraid. Irrationally afraid but nonetheless, the hand holding his wrist didn’t let go but continued to lead him deeper.

His free hand followed along the large wall, fingers grazing the surface as he continued to walk deeper, it wasn’t until he was a little over waist deep that he felt the pull, shaking his hand free of his cousins he dove into the water.

Song Huai loved this the most, his beautiful tail coming out, the freedom it involved. Though it was dark underwater he could still see just fine, like one would see clearly on a bright moonlit night.

The knot in his stomach had disappeared, the fear leaving his body as he swam a bit deeper, looking up he saw his older cousin following him, diving into the water and swimming down to meet him. Both starting to giggle, the older man pointed to the wall, and said.

“We’ll follow this for a mile, once it drops off we’ll be near our destination.”

After swimming a short while they saw the soft bioluminescent glow from the man-made reef. A large structure that was made up of mismatched parts, looking closely he could spot the silhouette of an old war space shuttle amongst a group of ship-like hulls that were surrounded by studded limestone.

In the holes of the rock he could spot different kinds of algae, corals, and seagrasses all sprouting on or near pylons placed around the wreckage. The biome subtly breathed and swayed along the tide, almost waving to the two mer.

Gaining courage Song Huai dove closer to the structure to get a better look, his eye was caught to the vein like seam lines holding the structures together, they pulsed and withered as if alive.

As he neared a structure for a better look his cousin swam over and grabbed his hand, he looked at the small mer and shook his head, he pointed to a large circular structure. This device looked like a large black speaker.

“It should be time soon,”

Swimming along the reef they lazily brushed a free hand along the grass, the corals hid and he could see small fish and crustaceans flee from them and burrow deeper into their biomes.

After a minute or two the vein like seams began to writhe, a low pulsing sound began to emit from the circle device, after spotting the speaker his eyes trained of dozens of others that were surrounding and hidden amongst the wreckages.

A low hum was emitted, joined by each device. This sound wasn’t too overwhelming, smiling at the younger mer he pointed again to an overturned hull and the vibrations of the hum caused the metal to rub against the pylons, this too began to sing.

As they swam around the structure they listened to the music it created, the grasses swayed as if dancing. It was a sight Song Huai would never forget.

 

“On your left,” a man carrying an electric keyboard spoke as he zipped past the small boy.

Coming out of his daze the child took a deep breath, moving closer into the curtain.

As the little fish Song Huai stood before the large red curtain, a small hand pulled on the gold thread outlining the giant blanket that separated him from the outside audience. Pulling a small amount back he looked into the growing crowd of people talking amongst themselves, people finding seats and looking around the large theatre.

Looking out into the crowd he scanned his eye’s row by row, searching desperately for a known face. Anyone he thought to himself.

‘Please, mom, dad, any aunt or cousin’ his eyes stayed on the crowd.

Finally his eyes caught on an elderly man sitting toward the back left corner, he sat there quietly, not chatting like the others in the large crowd. Song Huai’s eyes stuck to that row, looking around for a family member but came up with nothing, sighing as the boy stepped back letting the curtain close.

He knew the elder, a kind man from his grandmother's neighborhood. His name was Hou
An elder who owned a stall in the black market under the mall, he sold fake flowers, and fake silver utensils and knickknacks to passerbys but inside the little shop was where he made real money.

He fixed up old planet mechanical devices, things that people didn’t use nowadays, his shop was a litany of things from the past, old computers with large blocks attached to them and monitors with keyboards connected. He sold physical cameras that printed the picture and drones with large fans on top that you’d control with your hands!

The old man was a fan of Song Huai’s. He'd visit his grandmothers and see them playing go together. He sang and performed for the neighborhood countless times, dancing around the tables as they played, giggling and twirling throughout the games.

Grandpa Hou sat alone in a spot, as Song Huai scanned his eyes on the row he didn’t spot anyone else he knew. He closed the curtain with a frown.

As time passed an older aunt came to the boy, she had introduced herself as one of the child wranglers.

“You’ll be the fourteenth person performing!” she smiled and reached for his hand.
After being led backstage the show was about to begin, the lights dimmed a few times and he saw the emcee, a larger man in a sparkly red suit and too much face makeup stepped onto the stage with a wide grin.

The heavy red curtains lifted and the show began.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen of the Empire!”

“Tonights show will be a range of youth acts to instrumental pieces. All acts have been featured on the radio and voted by the populace! Tonight you will get to listen to thirty one amazing performers!”

A large cheer erupted from the audience.

Song Huai looked as the first performer got in place behind a lighter black curtain, the man holding an odd looking mechanical oboe took a deep breath as he held the instrument.

After the introductions were made the man performed and Song Huai on the edge listened to the whole thing. Standing there the child tried to swallow the lump in his throat but could not, looking around for the wrangler to ask for a glass of water he was overlooked by the small group of performers. All much taller than the boy standing on the side.

Wide eyes scanned the room for anyone who could help him, growing anxious he took a step forward to ask for assistance before a stage hand yelled.

“Stay where you are, you’ll be performing here soon!”

His face flushed as he gave a small nod, Song Huai stood in place, afraid to anger the adult.

After a few more performances the little fish grew hot, his face still heated. That heat traveled to his neck, his chest and a fiery lump sat in his stomach as he listened to the current performer.

As another performer got off stage and the emcee introduced another the line to the stage became shorter, in the hurry of people he bumped into a larger teen.

“Watch it,”

The teen shoved the young boy a couple steps backward, falling on his rear. Song Huai looked up and meekly apologized before standing up again, his head turning to spot the faces of those who saw. All the people quickly looked away as they carried on with their business.

Only one person stood before him and his spot so the wrangler came back to him and took hold of his arm tightly, they led him to the black curtain.

“See this ‘x’, that's your mark, stay on it.” they said as they let go.

Grabbing their shoulders they turned the boy to face where the audience sat, he leaned to his ear and whispered in a high voice.

“Smile kid, you’ll do great.”

After walking away Song Huai stood on the x and faced the now giant curtain, the black fabric looked like it was slowly waving, he swayed in his spot as he gulped down air.

The performers act finished and another curtain went up, the emcee rushed on stage before the red curtain opened again.

“And our next performer comes from the radio! You might have heard this child’s heavenly voice on your favorite interstellar channel, let me introduce you to Song Huai!”

The curtain in front of the child rose, he felt the stage lights heat before he saw the faces of the crowd.

Song Huai swallowed and looked to the crowd, he saw hundreds of unfamiliar people sitting, from the stage he could only make out the whites of their faces, their red mouths gaping as their eyes watched the small boy. His hands clenched at his side, nails digging into his palm.

The track began and music came from the speakers.

Song Huai's eyes glanced around nervously as he felt sweat trickle down his nape, his ears lightly tuned to the music blaring. As he looked to the sea of eyes he took a breath when he was supposed to enter the song.

A small croak left his throat, his eyes bulging and knees pressed together.

“O-akk” he coughed out.

Looking to the seated audience he could see them shift in their seats, unimpressed. He saw some smirk and whisper to others, his heart raced as he scanned the crowd. He looked off the stage and saw the emcee and wrangler staring at him, their faces having long frowns on it.

The emcee made a gesture with his hand, he looked at the wrangler unsure what to do.

Song Huai looked once more at the crowd, his feet frozen as the rest of his body heated with embarrassment. He scanned the unfamiliar faces now contorted with frowns,the crowd's eyes were pitch black the music above him still played.

He felt the hot tears roll down his cheeks before he could move again.

Running to the opposite side of the stage to run as fast as he could to the back of the building, on the opposite side the wrangler ran behind the curtains to meet up with the boy.

As he took off the emcee stepped on stage laughing as he made an excuse for the frightened child. He could hear the crowd laugh, it was like daggers to his chest.

After running behind the stage he made his way to the dressing rooms where he moved between the people, head down and we weaved between the adults paying him no mind.

“Hkk,”

He choked on a sob.

Pushing his way past the curtain of stage outfits he squeezed into the back of the room following the wall he made it to the door leading to the props department.

The wrangler ran into the dressing room, breathing heavily.

“Has anyone seen a young kid, blonde pigtails?”

The crowd looked at the person speaking and the majority just stood there as some shook their heads and said ‘no’. The group of people went about their business.

The wrangler made their way to the next room, head swiveling to find the child.

On the back of the lot Song Huai ran until he was out of breath, winding his way around the backrooms he ended up in a loft filled with old world pianos, he squatted down and shuffled under one, slotting himself into the space.

There the boy wept for what felt like hours, he could faintly hear the music from the stage playing, one performer after another.

He sat and sniffled, hands covering his face as he wiped the large drops of tears from his cheeks. He wanted to go home, he missed his parents.

Sniffling the boy looked up, he did not recognize this part of the theatre, in his heated moment he ran without thinking, he had to get out of there was all he thought.

As Song Huai sat under a piano he clenched his now frozen fists, the cold from the concrete floor seeping into his body, freezing him to the spot.

After a few sniffles he made his way from under the piano, he swiveled his head to try to hear the stage, everything was quiet.
Making his way through the abandoned rooms he saw an emergency exit, rushing toward the door he pushed it open letting in a gust of fresh air.

After exiting the building he laded down and put his hand on his knees as he caught his breath, looking up at the end of the wall he saw an older man making his way toward the youth.

“Song Huai!” Grandpa Hou yelled his way.

“Gr-grandpa,”

Starting to tear up again he rushed toward the man, throwing himself in his arms as he was caught.

“Dudu, little Dudu, come now. Dry your tears,”

With a free hand the old man wiped one cheek, lifting his chin up to look at him as he spoke.

“Let’s get you home, huh”

Putting the boy back down he took a small hand and began to walk to the front of the building.

Grandpa Hou called a hover taxi and put the boy in first before he sat next to him. Song Huai grabbed onto the elders sleeve and leaned into, sniffling the whole ride home.

Once they reached his grandmother’s home Song Haui ran up the driveway where an elderly woman opened the door, she held her arms open as the child rushed into them.

After a long hug the elder leaned down.

“Poor Dudu, you must have been frightened.” giving the top of his head a kiss she took his hand and led him inside.

Turning around, Song Huai gave a small tearfilled wave to the kind Grandpa Hou.

Notes:

in the novel during his first radio show Song Huai sang a love song, this song was playing when Lu Mian was off at war and his whole battalion was overrun and comrades were killed protecting him, he mentions that the lovely angelic singing kept him sane and saved his life. You don't know until the end that it was Song Huai singing. Grandpa Hou is in the books too; he fixes Song Huai's prized music box and fixes a vintage vinyl player that played Song Huai's voice that saved him all those years ago.