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It was nearly four in the morning, and Alastor was sitting on the couch in the lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Everybody else was asleep, at least as far as he could tell. The whole place was quiet, the only sound the occasional skittering of roaches near the bar. Charlie wasn’t back yet. As he thumbed through the well-worn horror novel he was reading, Alastor told himself he wasn’t still awake because he was worried about Charlie. He just couldn’t sleep for other, as yet unknown, reasons.
Sure, he had said the other day that Charlie was like a daughter to him, but that was just to make Lucifer jealous. It wasn’t true.
Above him, a floorboard creaked. Probably someone waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
Alastor returned to his book, but a couple minutes later his ears pricked up as he heard the front door of the hotel open and close, Charlie’s distinct footsteps approaching from behind him before turning toward the stairs.
Without rotating his body, Alastor swiveled his head.
“Coming back from somewhere interesting?” he asked.
“Jesus!” Charlie exclaimed, her bag that she’d been holding clattering to the floor. “You shouldn’t scare people like that. What are you still doing up?”
“I could ask you the same thing. Don’t you have to work your usual morning shift tomorrow? Now, quell my curiosity… where were you?”
“Just, you know,” Charlie said, blushing as she tugged at a strand of her hair, “going to find some sinners and telling them about the hotel. Don’t tell Vaggie, okay? I know she thinks it’s dangerous for me to be walking around alone out there at night, but I don’t want to miss the demographic of sinners who don’t come out during the day! I think they really could be the—” She was quelled when she saw the look Alastor was giving her. “Wh–what?”
“Vaggie isn’t the only one who thinks it’s dangerous for you to be out alone at night. And what will I have to entertain myself with if something happens to you and your funny little hotel dies with you? Perhaps you should have someone a bit more imposing to escort you around at night, hm?” He raised an eyebrow as he asked the last question.
Then, from upward, closer to the stairs than the footsteps had been before, Alastor heard a scoff. Subtly, he glanced out of the corner of his eye and up the stairs. He was able to make out Lucifer’s form watching from the darkness.
Alastor smiled wider. He’d initially only suggested following Charlie around the city at night because he thought witnessing her failure might provide some entertainment. But clearly, Lucifer thought the reason was something more parental. How delicious.
“Um,” Charlie said, “no offense, but someone more—imposing? is that how you put it?—might scare potential customers away, and I want to be bringing more people in. I mean, you do a lot of good work here. Helping with advertising. I think maybe that’s where I need your gifts right now.”
“Be that as it may,” Alastor interrupted, affecting his tone with something both warm and stern, “it would be preferable if you didn’t go and get yourself killed. Not for all this.” He gestured at the decrepit hotel around him.
Alastor thought Charlie, who was just as sappy as her dad, might go all pink and smiley at Alastor’s suggestion to take care of herself, but to his surprise, she didn’t.
“‘All this’ is my dream,” Charlie said, her eyes narrowed, “and anyway, I can take care of myself just fine. I’m the princess of Hell. You’re working for me, remember?”
Now, from up the stairs, Alastor heard a laugh. He needed to be careful, or he would lose his edge on Lucifer. Charlie speaking to him like she was his superior wasn’t good for the image he was trying to cultivate as Charlie’s true father figure.
Charlie made it halfway up the stairs before she sighed and turned around.
“I’m sorry, Alastor,” she said. “I just haven’t gotten any sleep, and it’s late. And Vaggie acting like I can’t do something scary on my own, it puts me on edge. And with my dad here, I just want to stay on top of things, you know? Look, I’ll think about bringing someone along with me next time. Just maybe Angel instead? He’s more, um, approachable. And again, I’m sorry. It wasn’t very mature of me to snap at you.”
No, it wasn’t. Hm. Perhaps Alastor could spin this in his favor after all.
“Charlie,” he said, his voice falling somewhere below the usual jaunty bounce he put in it, “why don’t you come back downstairs so I can tell you something more before you go to bed?”
Charlie’s eyes widened, making her look like someone who’d just remembered the strongest sinner in hell was standing at the bottom of her staircase. “Um, do you really need me to come down there so you can tell me?”
“Yes,” Alastor said in a way that invited no argument. “I wouldn’t want to raise my voice and wake any of the guests. Now, come, come.”
Charlie obeyed, slowly. “Um, yeah?” she said when she was finally standing in front of him again.
Alastor’s voice softened. “Be a dear and turn around and touch, oh, that third stair for me. With both hands, perhaps?”
Looking confused, Charlie turned and did as she was told. Once she was in position, Alastor lifted his staff and cracked it across her behind.
Charlie shrieked and shot up, her hands quickly covering her bottom.
“What the fuck, Alastor?” she demanded.
“Now, now,” Alastor said. “Let’s not have that language. Get back in position, will you?”
“No,” Charlie said, whirling around and taking one backwards step up the stairs. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but I’m not—I’m going to bed.”
“Not so fast,” Alastor said, grabbing her arm. “Now, Charlie, you were right that you were being immature when you were rude to me. But more importantly, you were immature in putting yourself in danger tonight. And not telling your girlfriend where you were going? Tsk, tsk. I would think you’d be smarter than that, especially under my wing. Some might say you were acting like a, I don’t know, a rebelling teenager. And what do you think a father whose teenager came in at four in the morning and nearly shouted at him would do?”
“Alastor—”
“Why don’t you bend back over?”
“You’re, uh, really leaning into this dad thing, huh? Look, Alastor, I’m sorry. You don’t need to make me do this.”
“Oh, I’m not making you do anything.” Alastor shrugged. “You’re a grown woman. I just think this might be a good reminder for you to act like one. But if you want, of course you can go upstairs. I do work for you, after all, don’t I?”
Charlie winced, clearly feeling guilty all over again about what she’d said to him moments ago.
“Okay,” she said, bending back over, her hands gripping the stair beneath her. “Just not too loud, please? I don’t want to wake anyone up.”
“Oh, my staff isn’t that loud.” As if proving his point, Alastor rapped it across Charlie’s bottom again, prompting a yelp from her. “It’s more on you to take it quietly.” He whacked her again, and she yelped again. “There, now.” Harder than before, the staff swung down. This time, Charlie kicked a leg in the air and put her fist in her mouth to stop from crying out. “Only two more. This hurts me too, you know.”
Well, that much was true. Using his staff like this was quite the arm workout.
“Okay,” Charlie whimpered, adding, “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve certainly gotten enough use out of those words tonight, haven’t you?” Alastor asked, swinging the staff down again. “And I know, dear.”
Charlie sniffled, wetly, “I just want to seem brave.”
She sounded so pitiful, it was hard not to, well, pity her. She really was adorable, Alastor thought as he swung the staff down a final time.
“You are,” he said as Charlie collapsed into sobs, “but there’s no need to be brave around me. You can let your guard down… plenty. There, now—” he said as Charlie raced into his arms and cried all over the front of his coat. “Shhh. Come, let’s get you to bed.”
“Okay,” Charlie sniffled. “Um, maybe don’t tell Vaggie about me getting in so late, like I said? I’m going to try to sneak into our room and—I just don’t want her worrying about me, you know? Oh—especially now that I’m going to take a buddy with me next time. So she won’t even have anything to worry about anymore. Nobody will!”
Charlie’s babbling was interrupted when the two of them rounded the corner and nearly ran into Lucifer at the top of the stairs.
“Dad!” Charlie smiled, wiping the remaining tears from her face. “What are you doing up? Is everything okay?”
“I—” Lucifer’s gaze went to Alastor, whose hand was wrapped around Charlie, and his eyes narrowed. Clearly, he didn’t want Alastor to know what he’d heard, didn’t want Alastor to know he’d upstaged him once again. “I was asleep, but I woke up when I heard you coming up the stairs. Just a few seconds ago. I thought maybe someone was breaking in or—hey, why are you coming in so late?”
Alastor rolled his eyes. Lucifer was not a good actor.
“No reason,” Charlie said. “Look, Dad, I’m kind of tired. Do you mind if I just go to bed? Maybe we can have breakfast tomorrow? A late breakfast?”
She broke away from Alastor’s embrace and moved toward the next flight of stairs. Alastor narrowed his eyes at Lucifer. Now look what he’d done.
“Wait!” Lucifer called out, before acting startled by the sound of his own voice. “Charlie. Charlie—come back here, young lady.” He did not sound as sure of himself as he clearly wanted to when saying those words.
Charlie turned around, letting out a shocked laugh. “What?”
“Alastor,” Lucifer said. “I’d like a moment with my daughter. A father-daughter moment. Alone. With my daughter. Because I’m her father, not—”
Alastor laughed and turned on his heel, heading up to his own room. He wanted to get to sleep, anyway, who cared if he let Lucifer lead his own daughter to bed. Alastor had gotten under Lucifer’s skin, and that was all he really wanted anyway.
He only hoped for the sake of Charlie’s bottom that Lucifer wasn’t going to spank her as well, as some sad way of trying to show up his rival. Alastor planned on being asleep and not listening by then, regardless.
“Look, Dad,” Charlie said as she stood next to where her father sat on the bed in his ducky-filled room, “I don’t know what you thought you heard earlier, but I really am tired. I think we can say goodnight and—”
“Charlie,” Lucifer said. “Alastor was right. You shouldn’t be putting yourself in danger for this hotel. And this isn’t me babying you. Hell, it’s not safe for anyone to be out walking around this late at—”
“I thought you only woke up a few seconds ago,” Charlie said, a knowing smile on her face.
If Lucifer hadn’t heard her downstairs, he wouldn’t have been able to tell right now that she’d been crying.
“That’s not important,” Lucifer said with a wave of his hand. “And even if you don’t want me babying you, well, you are my baby, and I wasn’t around enough when you were, you know, an actual baby. And I feel bad that I wasn’t always there to teach you, or to show you there was someone who cared when you got home. I missed out on that, but I’m here now.”
Charlie’s lips quivered at the edges, and honestly, Lucifer was on his way there too. “Oh, Dad,” she said quietly.
“I care about you, Charlie,” Lucifer reiterated. “And I owe it to you to show you that I care, so much, what happens to you when you walk out the doors of this hotel. And when you’re here too. Someone other than just your girlfriend, who I think is really good for you, by the way.”
All he wanted to do was get up and give his sweet daughter a hug. But Alastor had been right downstairs. Lucifer’s little girl needed someone to keep her from putting herself in danger. And that someone should be her actual father, not some off-putting approximation of one. So instead of getting up and giving Charlie a hug like he wanted to, Lucifer did what was probably better for her anyway. He patted the mattress next to him.
“Dad—” Charlie whined.
“Charlie,” Lucifer said gently, “bend over the bed. You won’t fall, I promise. I’ll put my arm around you.”
“Is there any way I can say no?” Charlie asked.
“You can try,” Lucifer said, “but I am the king of Hell.”
He thought he saw Charlie roll her eyes as she bent over the bed, but he chose to ignore it. At least she was listening to him—he’d definitely been bluffing when he’d told her there was no way she could get herself out of this.
He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her tightly to him. If he wasn’t so much shorter than her, he would have tried putting her over his lap like he might with a real child—though he’d never spanked a real child—but this would do. He raised his arm and brought it down. Then he did it again. And again.
Charlie didn’t cry out as much as she had downstairs with Alastor, but then Lucifer wasn’t swinging his hand nearly as hard as Alastor had swung his staff. He couldn’t bring himself to. Besides, he was sure what he’d said to Charlie before spanking her had been more effective than anything else he could do.
“I’m sorry,” Charlie repeated quietly. “Ow.”
As Lucifer fell into the rhythm of Charlie’s apologies and his swats on her bottom, all with the clarity of not having Alastor in the room at the moment, Lucifer noted how his daughter really did have something to apologize for. It had been very stupid of her to be out advertising her hotel in the city in the middle of the night. If she had been seriously hurt or, god forbid, killed, even if she would respawn, Lucifer couldn’t imagine what that would do to him. And so soon after he’d gotten her back.
Lucifer had gone into his own swirling thoughts even as he continued to spank his daughter, and when he looked down he realized he was smacking her a good bit harder than before. And Charlie was squirming a good bit more too.
“Daddy,” she whined, sounding like a much younger version of herself, though Lucifer had never done anything like this to a younger Charlie.
“Okay,” Lucifer said, giving a few more moderate slaps and then a pat or two to finish her off. “I don’t want to be too hard on you. But I don’t want you worrying me again either, okay? I know you’ll be surprised, but I lied earlier. I didn’t just wake up a few seconds before you and, ugh, Alastor came up the stairs. I was waiting up all night so I could hear you coming home. So I could know you made it home. I—I love you, Charlie.”
“I know, Dad,” Charlie said, rising up from her bent posture to sit next to her father on the bed. She winced as she sat, Lucifer noticed with a twinge of sympathy. “I love you too. I’m so glad you’re here.”
As Charlie wrapped her arms around Lucifer, her damp face buried in his hair, Lucifer’s own eyes were filled with tears. His daughter. He hoped he would never have to hurt her again, but he knew he would if it kept her safe. He loved her that much.
By the time Charlie made it to her and Vaggie’s room, the sun was already starting to rise in the sky. She yawned, her eyes going bleary with the need for sleep as she crawled her way under the covers. Maybe she could sleep in today. Surely there wouldn’t be any disasters she needed to tend to before the afternoon.
Vaggie stirred next to her. “Charlie? Were you in the bathroom?”
Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. At least Vaggie hadn’t noticed she’d been gone all night. She must have assumed Charlie had come to bed sometime shortly after she’d gone to sleep, as was often the case when Charlie had things to work on in the hotel. Of course, there would probably come a time to be honest and tell Vaggie what she’d done—and that she was going to take Angel on future late-night recruitment missions—but she decided as she rolled onto her stomach and rubbed her sore bottom that now was not the time.
“Yeah, something like that,” she said. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night—”
“Don’t worry,” Vaggie said. “I’ll take care of stuff through the morning. But let’s get some more sleep for each of us first. Nobody’ll be awake yet for awhile anyway.”
“Sure thing.”
As Vaggie reached an arm out and let Charlie snuggle against her chest, she asked, “Are you okay? You’re shaking.”
“Just cold, but you’ll warm me up,” Charlie said, and Vaggie seemed to accept that as an answer.
As Vaggie started to snore and Charlie’s own vision began to darken with coming sleep, Charlie was filled with warmth in her heart to match the warmth of her butt. All the years she’d spent without a parental figure in her life, and now she had two. Even if one was a dorky dad and one was a scary demon… they were perfect. This was perfect.