Work Text:
Pre work notes: This work was one that I wrote for the creative writing part of an exam something like 6 months ago, the only plan I had going into that exam was related to a work that I have been continuously working on and editing, but that (from previous exams and assignments) did not hold up to the style and expectations of literally any of my catholic highschool english teachers (for those who know it, this previous work is 'My Little Bird'. stay tuned in to eventually see that posted to my ao3 when I finally get all the versions sorted).
This work came from a prompt that I couldn't work with if I used MLB as a base, and so I risked my shit and came up with a new piece on the spot, a very ill advised move when sitting in a timed exam, but that piece is what became this work. Fun not quite related note: This got an 8/20 when i got my exam marks back. Yes I'm mad about this. Not many changes were made when transcribing this from, the exam paper into digital form, aside from some small edits and little things that, because its now actually fanfic form and not exam paper form, I can actually write. This just includes little location and tlou world specific details like the cordyceps and all that
This piece was not initially intended to be fanfic when I started it, however that is what it became when I got around 3 paragraphs in and realised what names I used and by extension who I was then writing about, and thus: don't let it burn, don't let it fade was born. The works title was originally just 'Linger', because I'm so used to writing here on ao3 where song lyric titles are commonplace, that switching to a format where I couldn't simply quote something that fit became a challenge.
And now, without further introduction: don't let it burn, don't let it fade - DIRECTORS CUT
It should be an easy day, no work to be completed, no general expectation of productivity that usually comes with a Wednesday at mid-day. It should be a lazy summer day, quiet heat, loud joy, and yet all Maria could think of was who she had been forced to leave behind when she had returned home four months ago.
This is dubiously early outbreak, think sometime after Ellie was born, either 2010/11ish or 2020/2021ish, depending which version of canon you subscribe to. I also had the idea in my head that this was early days of getting Jackson Hole formed into the Jackson that we all know and love by the time canon starts.
She longed for gentle fingers carding through her hair, weaving intricate little patterns against her scalp. She longed for those cool spring nights curled up by the fire pit, close enough that the flames danced in Anna's eyes, a reflection of all the life and love and joy within her, lost in the haze of drunken nights spent together before it all fell apart.
Home, this small town filled with too big now impossible dreams. This small town with its big walls meant safety, a calm before a storm of the tangible reminders of why it fell apart, of why Anna wasn't here anymore, of what Maria tried and failed to blame. The walls were a tangible stopper on the flow of anger and resentment that tried to fill her as she remembered what she could have saved. There was a leak somewhere, letting out careful streams akin to the mycelium that now crawled across the country.
A leak like a tap, small enough that it kept her longing and grief inside, yet that let out the hurt and anger that lapped in waves. Aimed at nothing, aimed at everything, aimed at herself, for coming home without Anna, aimed at Marlene, for not being there in time, when she had promised she would be.
I have this idea that some point 2009/2019ish, something happened between Maria and Anna, some stupid fight, maybe over Maria wanting to go back to Jackson and keep helping work on the town, or maybe it was Marlene and the Fireflies wanting Anna to stay in Boston, but either way, Maria went back to Wyoming and Anna stayed in Massachusetts, and thus early canon starts.
It was irrational, she knew, but something drew her back time and time again while emotion welled up inside her, threatening her carefully crafted dam. Maybe it was the thought of the child that she herself had lost on that night six years ago, the night when everything changed. Maybe it was the thought of the child she would never meet, that Anna had loved so much, even when they were only the size of an pomegranate, right through to who Marlene described in the single letter she had sent.
'We got held up and by the time we reached her, Anna had been bitten. We couldn't risk them both being infected,' Marlene had written, 'It had to be done. I'm sorry Maria'.
Maria pretended she believed Marlene's apologies, believed the words written by a hand a little too steady, written by someone who hadn't even asked to speak over the radio to pass on the news.
She and Anna had met as children, summer camp or a shared class, she didn't remember the specifics anymore. Eventually, their friendship had sparked into lovers devotion. As the world grew harder, colder, the flame of their love kept them warm, safe.
Summer days turned into winter nights, hazy Wyoming mornings in a little farmhouse spent curled together, more one being than two, One soul to share between two bodies, the seasons changing, but their love never faltering.
This may or may not be a reference to the farmhouse that Ellie and Dina have near the end of the second game, and may or may not be the same farmhouse. Y'all can decide if Maria helped get Ellie and Dina fix up then move into the old farmhouse that she and Anna used to live in.
"Oh Anna, I'm not sure that I could ever forget you," Maria whispers, turning away from the window to spy at the empty kitchen chairs, now devoid of laughter. Her gaze carried over to the photograph that stood like a soldier at attention on the mantelpiece, the reminder of what they had been forced into too young.
Years later, when Tommy's brother walked through the gates followed by a girl with the same green eyes and an all too familiar switchblade sticking out of her pocket, Maria realised that Marlene lied to her, that Anna's baby, the one she spent her nights singing to, was alive.
The mention to Ellie's eyes may just be the only detail that points to being game canon, but that's mostly bc I've spent so much time playing the games that Ellie just is game Ellie in my head.
also uh, can you tell how much I don't like Marlene? I kind of have this idea that Maria and Marlene would have hated eachother, even pre-outbreak, but that they would have been civil for Anna's sake, because they both cared about her, but once she was gone that civility would vanish.
One day, she thought, she would tell Ellie about her mother, pass on the old photographs that sat in a box, or on the shelves, and maybe it was selfish, but for now, it still felt easier to keep those cards tucked close to her own heart.