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Kim Dokja walked Yoo Joonghyuk to the bus station everyday.
The lucky bastard lived close to their highschool and didn't have to take transport back and forth everyday. The fool was a 2 minute walk away.
Joonghyuk didn't mind the extra company though. He hadn't ever thought about someone accompanying him on such short trips, let alone fathom someone accompanying him at all.
Sometimes, he would get hungry, so he would take a short detour from his destination and go to the city. Of course, Dokja followed in suit.
Their first ideas were fast food, just drinks or ice cream.
Fast food, in Joonghyuk's words, was "Too greasy and unhealthy. No."
Drinks weren't the best for both of them either. They weren't exactly filling for Joonghyuk, and Dokja was picky with the flavours.
Ice cream was a good choice, but not for Dokja. "They don't have my favourite brand! Seriously, who doesn't have strawberry flavoured Melona?"
So they wandered around before stumbling upon the ramen place, which caught Dokja's eye.
But as soon as Joonghyuk ordered his meal, much to his disappointment, Dokja said,
"I don't have enough money. You eat, I'll just be here."
So, he watched Joonghyuk eat his bowl with a smile on his face while frequently going on his phone to read. They sat in the corner on a double seat table in the cramped restaurant and shared each other's company.
The restaurant fortunately gave a free extra noodle, which Joonghyuk always took with his order. He never drank too much from the bowl and always left a few pieces of meat and chives. He silently mixed in the extra noodle in and slid the bowl across the table, looking away.
Dokja didn't refuse. He never did. After all, they both knew he was hungry.
His gratitude for this was being Joonghyuk's company in his lonely life. And that was enough for the both of them.
Dokja was skinny. He had been for as long as Joonghyuk could remember. When they first met, their height difference was the first thing he noticed. Then, it was how his cheeks sunk in, how his eyes felt quite hollow and how the skin on his arms stuck to his bones a little too much.
The closer they got, the more Dokja seemed to lighten up. He was better than the beginning of their friendship now, but he was still skinny.
One time, Joonghyuk tried asking him about it. He laughed it off and told him it was his mother's genes that made him like this. They both knew it was a lie, but Joonghyuk didn't press on. He didn't know how he would face the issue and even help.
So, after a month of walking together to the bus stop, Joonghyuk said this:
"I'm going to eat at the city."
There was a moment of silence before Dokja repljed,
"Do you want me to come? Is that why you're telling me?"
With Dokja, he didn't need to talk. It was like he could read his mind, and honestly, he wouldn't mind that. Their understanding of unspoken words between each other made them able to read each other clearly.
So, Joonghyuk hesitantly nodded in response. That marked the first time they went to the city and ate, choosing the ramen place as their favourite.
It wasn't the best ramen place. It didn't have fancy decor or bright lights, or five star reviews and gourmet meals. It was just where they ate together afterschool.
But that alone held enough importance.
One day, Joonghyuk bought a bowl for himself and Dokja. The same two-level spiciness (that was never spicy) with pork slices and chives sprinkled on top. Dokja's eyes twinkled when the waiter presented them with two bowls instead of one.
"Did you really buy one for me, Joonghyuk-ah? I'll pay you back soon, I promise!" He clasped his hands together in pure happiness.
"You better." Though, he was joking. He didn't need to be paid back in money.
As he watched Dokja eat joyously, he felt he had already been repaid.
Joonghyuk wasn't expecting to get paid back soon, and he didn't mind either. He knew why Dokja didn't have money for a meal afterschool either.
He liked to read, and as every reader does, they spend their money and invest in reading more. That was what Dokja did to blow through his monthly allowance. Buy books, read them, go back and buy more. Rinse and repeat.
He liked to read novels online too. Joonghyuk noted how he preferred manhwas over real-life novels even after buying so many novels. It was poor money management, but he couldn't really be talking.
Joonghyuk had spent at least ₩30,000 at the ramen place for the past week, continually buying ramen for both of them. He didn't mind though. He was helping Dokja.
At least, he hoped he was.
"Joonghyuk-ah!" Dokja called. Joonghyuk paused and stepped off the bus. Dokja was running towards him, wallet in hand. Panting, he grabbed his hand and placed a bundle of cash in it.
"Here. Bet you weren't expecting such a quick payment, weren't you?" he laughed, even though he had clearly lost his breath from running. Joonghyuk's brow furrowed slightly, looking at the won.
"You didn't have to pay me back."
"If I didn't, I think I would die from guilt."
"This is more than I pay for your order."
Dokja had given Joonghyuk ₩20,000. He had only paid ₩15,000 for Dokja's orders, not including his own.
"It's fine. Only ₩5,000 more, right? Just buy me a snack later!" Dokja waved to Joonghyuk, before beginning to half sprint-half walk off again. "My mother's picking me up this time, so I really have to go. Bye, Joonghyuk-ah!"
And just like that, he was gone. And so was Joonghyuk's bus, which only came every 45 minutes. Damn him for choosing to live so far away.
But, the bus would come back.
After Joonghyuk's 18th birthday, he immediately tested for his driver's license, thinking about how it would be better for him and Mia both. He wanted to move on.
He moved closer to Mia's new school which was fortunately near his new university. The bus became one of the most frequent things in his life to something he never took anymore. He started to move on.
He chose a different city from the ramen restaurant, which closed down after a year he stopped going. Unfortunate, but that was just what happened to restaurants. He had to move on.
He graduated university and got a job as a lawyer. Mia was attending middle school by this time, becoming more rebellious and getting taller. Joonghyuk, of course, detested this, but he pushed through. He had to move on.
The traces of his old life faded away one by one, but one was stuck to him and he could never let go.
A memory of them sitting in that cramped corner with the two-seater eating the same bowl of ramen, a silence washing over them that they both understood.
A memory of his first time purchasing a bowl for the two of them instead of just handing over his extra noodles. Their first time even encountering that ramen restaurant.
The memory of Joonghyuk missing his bus because of a repayment overdue, but never minded.
He had to move on.
He knew Dokja had moved on long ago.
On a particularly hot summer day, Joonghyuk closed his car door and took a deep breath. He held a simple lily of the valley in left hand, gently clasping the stem.
Of course he's here. In this city.
In the other hand was a bar of strawberry flavoured Melona, unopened and untouched.
Slowly, he walked towards Kim Dokja. First, he bowed, then placed the lily of the valley down.
He sat down on the grass and stared at the man he spent almost all of his highschool days with.
"It's been 6 years, Kim Dokja. I hope you haven't forgotten me yet.
For 6 years, I never used that extra ₩5,000 you gave me. Not even a single hundred.
This was how you repaid me for all those meals. In money. But even then, I knew that I didn't have to be repaid.
I always knew your family never fed you enough. I knew, but I never pushed. But I still wanted to help, and I hope I did.
You're such a fool. You never had to give me that money. I just wanted you to be happy.
So, for that ₩5,000, I pay you back with your favourite ice cream. It's more delayed than you could ever be, a whole 6 years. I hope you still like this brand."
Joonghyuk unwrapped the bar and laid it down on the stone. The bar immediately started to melt in the heat, drenching the area in pink, melted ice cream.
"I'm 24 years old now, and you're still 18."
Joonghyuk felt an uncomfortable sensation in his throat and he clamped his mouth shut. Staring at the stone, his vision swam. Something wet fell on his cheek, and he closed his eyes.
He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, but his efforts of stopping his tears were in vain. Words he'd been wanting to say for years were on the tip of his tongue, but only one sentence fell out.
"I'm sorry."
He hoped Dokja could forgive him.
In another life, you would still be walking me down to the bus station.
Kim Dokja
2001-2019