Chapter Text
Dear Isabeau Moineau,
I recently received your letter. It's good to hear from you and Siffrin. Yours and Mirabelle's letters have been a beacon in troublesome times. Though Boniface could do with writing more often. Perhaps you should visit them sometime.
Speaking of, I hope this letter finds you in a timely manner. Apologies to everyone, but I won't be making it to Dormont this year. The weather here has taken a turn for the worse. We're looking at another typhoon in Ka Bue, and I'll need to protect those affected by the storm. I've heard it's been raining a lot in Vaugarde too. I'm almost jealous. Vaugardian showers were quite pleasant compared to the past few days here.
Look, Isabeau. As much as it pains me to suggest, we should wait before meeting again. From what I've heard we're all rather busy these days. Boniface is focusing on their culinary craft, Mirabelle is close to becoming the head housemaiden of Dormont, and you’re opening your Boutique soon, correct? Besides, if my back has to take another five months at sea, I might end up killing someone. Let's be fair, it's going to be Siffrin after a few of their famous puns.
How is he anyways? It's in hindsight that I realize they were acting strange during the last anniversary. He spent almost all of his time at the favor tree. I can't help but worry he's still searching for that Loop character. They haven't let go of that day in the house, Isabeau. You'll have to talk to him at some point. I know that's the last thing you want to hear, but I don't want to arrive in Vaugarde only to learn they did something rash again.
Best of luck to you
Odile Aiuchi.
The smell of damp air invades your nose. Your eyes blink the crust away before you let out a large yawn. Everything feels like it’s in slow motion when you first wake up. You can see the window to your right, it’s pouring cats and dogs outside, you’re not going to have many customers today.
That’s alright, there’s a lot of things you need to get done today anyways.
“Sif? Little Star? You there?” You call out.
Your partner is no longer in the room. The only indication of his presence is an indent on the left side of your bed, along with the covers haphazardly tossed aside.
He was never one to wake up early. At least not until last year. It feels like ever since you got back from the last anniversary, he's been avoiding you. It's lucky when you spot him in the kitchen, and he always comes in when you're asleep and leaves before you wake up. He keeps visiting the library recently, he's probably there now.
You let out a long sigh. They definitely didn’t eat breakfast… It’s ok. It’s just another chore you need- No, he’s not a chore Isabeau! You really need to stop thinking like that.
Rubbing the rest of the sleep out of your eyes, you slowly make your way out of bed. Your glasses sit on top of a half finished scarf you were knitting, you don’t need them at this point, but you wanted to look the part of a clothing designer, plus Sif thinks you look cool in them, and that’s all the motivation you need!... You’ve been needing a lot of that lately. Wonder if he still thinks you look cool…
You look over at your buddy’s nightstand. It’s full of star imagery. Ka Bue origami of a star, a pressed clover with pointed leaves that make a star pattern, and a clay doll of Loop, crafted to sway back and forth like a flower in the breeze. Yep, that’s a whole lot of stars. Didn’t there used to be a small crafted wool plush of you on that table? You’re pretty sure you made one of you and Sif. Guess the table got a bit crowded, huh? It’s fine. You should get ready for the day, you need to make breakfast for the both of you.
The old boards of the house squeak with each step. It’s only your footsteps. Sif’s mousy physique is pretty good at sneaking around. Despite the old flooring, this place has been great. Honestly, you’re lucky you even got a place like this at all. As great as Jouvente is, it can be reeeeeeal cut-throat when it comes to real estate. Now you have a real boutique, with a real sign! It even has your name on it! La Place Beautique. You haven’t gotten many customers yet, but it’s only been your first week since you finally got everything up and running, but with Sif out there helping people and making a name for yourselves, you’ll crush this clothing designer thing!
Growl…
But first, you should get some breakfast for your rumbling tummy. Hmm, Sif got up before you. Maybe they made something? While traveling to the kitchen down the hall, you hear the chime of the front door bell. Crab, you’re going to have to handle it. The stairs to the ground floor creak even louder than the hallway. You wince with each step. If that’s a customer down there, then you really don’t want them to think you can’t even take care of some simple maintenance. You gotta show off that image of a big strong smart clothing designer, after all. “The full package,” as Sif calls it.
But as you descend the final steps, you don't see anyone? Did…? Did Sif leave again without telling you? Well, that's ok. You understand. You've been living together for a while now, and he shouldn’t have to tell you his schedule everyday. Besides, they must still be bummed from when you told them the savior anniversary was cancelled.
You had to work up the courage to break the news. So it’s fine if they’re a little absent minded today. You just wish they’d remember to use the back door and not the one for customers… They were looking forward to it, though. Always so happy to see everyone. Though they refuse to step inside the house ever again, which is like, totally understandable. But after greeting everyone, they always liked to hang out under the favor tree. Good memories you guess.
GROWL…..
OH! Oops. Got a bit lost in thought there. Well, if there isn't a customer, you can make yourself a nice omelet. Back upstairs, and into the kitchen. You can always tell if Sif's been eating in the kitchen. He usually forgets to put away his dishes and leftovers.
“I'll just eat the rest later in a few hours.” They would say in a dismissive tone.
Then they'd forget about it and you'd have to preserve it yourself. Anyone else and Sif might be a little too much. But you know all the good stuff they do too. Like that time he learned how to make pancakes for you when you were sick in bed. They were so yummy~!
…You should make pancakes instead. You can excuse the excess sugars every once in a while. Some days you need a nice bright thing to kick off what will be a nice bright day! It doesn't take you long to whip up a batter and start frying, and it's then that you realize that the kitchen was spotless when you entered. Crab… Sif didn't eat anything again. That's ok, you made way too much batter. There'll be plenty for him when he returns. Now then, let’s- oh… you burnt the first pancake… Well, that’s fine, they say the first pancake always gets burnt. You can always try again. Start again with some new batter and-
Ding ding!
You turn off the burner. Really should have woken up sooner… or just closed the store for today. Maybe you could hire someone to handle early shifts.
“Be there in just a sec!” You yell out.
You wrap a cloth over the rest of the batter bowl and a plate over your lukewarm pan. You got this. You got this! You… got this. You can go a day without breakfast. I mean, you shouldn’t have been eating a ton of sugar anyway. So if you think about it, it’s great that you got interrupted!
Walking down the steps into your workspace, you see a smiling elder later, draped in a cloak of beautifully shining shades.
“Elanor!” You shout in joy.
Always a delight to see the woman who helped you and Sif find a place to call tenement and tailor. You’re not the first she’s done this for apparently. She often helps new arrivals from other towns or countries find houses or commercial properties. You were planning to stay in one of the houses of change with Sif while you searched for something, so it was such a relief to have her pull through for you.
“Now now, Isabeau. You know to call me Auntie El”
“-to call you Auntie El”
She raises an eyebrow at your addition. “Well, it seems you’re feeling a bit cheeky today, aren’t you?”
You sigh, “Sorry, it’s been a rough start to the morning, also you know I’m not one to really go with family titles.”
“Poor thing, how about a cup of tea and you can tell me what’s troubling you, and perhaps you can help me with this old shawl I haven't worn in quite some years. I think it’s getting a little big. Age can really shrink a spry gal like me.” She says.
“Of course! I'll take it off your hands for a bit and I can put the kettle on-
She wanders upstairs laughing, “Nonsense. I know this house well enough, and you clearly have enough on your plate.”
Your stomach growls but you don’t think she heard it, thank Change. You sigh. Not much can change her mind once it’s set. In the meantime, you might as well take a look at the item she brought in. As your first customer when you opened up, you already have her measurements. Yeah, this shawl is a little big for her. It looks old, it must have been something from her younger days. Feeling nostalgic, huh? Seems like everyone is feeling like that lately. Everyone wants to go back to those days when it felt so simple, but you don’t get work done in the past.
It feels nice to work with fabrics. It's something you understand. Even with Eleanor finding you this place, you practically spent your first two year back home in the house. Could even say you practically lived in that sewing class. You already knew a lot from the books you found on your journey, but practical experience is a completely different thing. After all that training you spent another year just making cute outfits for Sif. It was perfect getting to see him in all your designs. You really wish more people here had a body shape like Sif. It's so fun to make outfits for them! But tailoring for anyone is wonderful regardless. These past few years, you've really gotten to know Jouvente so much better than during your time as a defender. You learn a lot about people from the clothes they wear. Despite just starting, you've already gotten to know so many people on a first name business. Being a clothing designer is a joy. You always felt like there was a barrier preventing you from getting to know people, this weird otherness that came with the renowned title of a Jouvente defender! Now, you're Isabeau, citizen, friend to many, clothing designer to all. It's humbling.
Eleanor returns with some cherry blossom tea. A gift from Madam Odile during the last anniversary. It's lasted a while, in no small part because Sif thinks it tastes like dirt. And you always respond with “well it's a good kind of dirt.” He'd snicker at that. Good times.
Eleanor takes a sip of tea while watching you work. She's looking very closely at you before saying “What's wrong, dear?”
“Huh? W-wha? What do you mean???” You sputter.
“Oh hush now. I know when someone is more focused on their thoughts than their work. And I know your stitch work is better than that.”
You look down to see you've completely messed up the chainstitch.
“Crab… sorry, I can fix it in a second,” you assure her.
She smiles and pats your shoulders: “Now now. That can wait, saying what's on your mind comes first.”
You sigh and think for a moment, choosing your words carefully.
Finally, you speak, “I think… I can't stop thinking about Sif today. I had to deliver some bad news to them last night. I held off on actually saying anything for a while because I was afraid of what they'd think or say… or do. We’ve been distant for the past while. He said I didn’t do anything wrong, that he was just busy. But it doesn’t feel like busy, it feels like they’re ignoring me… no, more like they don’t even see me. Then this morning, they left out the front door without so much as a goodbye. It's making me feel a little anxious.”
She pauses before speaking. “Sounds Serious. And you’ve talked to them about this, correct?”
You stare for a moment, eyeing Eleanor for any kind of hint or reason to not share your worries. After all, you? Bothering others with your concerns? That’s not the person you want to be! Still, her care always bleeds into you like thick ink on paper, and you always spill. Just like you do now.
“The savior anniversary was canceled. We won't be traveling to Dormont this year. They always love going...”
“...You know, I don't need this job done right now,” she responds cautiously, brow furrowed in concern, “If you want to work on it tomorrow morning, you can go right ahead.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
She slowly baps you on the head before speaking, “I'm saying you're allowed to go running off after your partner! Close the store for today. Make sure they're alright! If you upset them last night then you need to fix it. Come on now, clothing designer, there's a hole in his heart and you need to patch it.”
You sigh. It would be nice if it were that easy. But this is something that's been building up for a while. You know why they're upset. Of course you do. It's because they can't see the party. But there's that sickening thought that they care more about trying to find Loop than participating in the anniversary. It's probably not true, and it’s not fair to him, just your brain pranking you with a mean thought. But, you keep asking yourself how well you stack up against a star, and it doesn’t look good. What happens if they do show back up? If they're even still alive. What are you to Siffrin?
“Yeah… I'll try talking to them later.” You mutter.
She turns her bap into a bonk on the head. Ouch.
“Talk to them now! You're both letting your emotions fester! At some point you're going to explode. Do it now!”
You stare for a moment, taking in Eleanor’s words and committing them to heart. She’s right. She’s right! You have to go now! You were the heart of the team when everyone else was feeling down! You don’t have time to wallow! Sif probably needs you! As if a shock passed through your body, you immediately turn for the door, ready to leave–whoops, Elanor yoinks the back of your shirt and you stumble just a bit, trying not to pull the old lady with you.
“After!” she punctuates the word, “You finish your tea. A calm mind is one that can communicate. And you’re going to need it.”
And so, you sit with your only customer of the day, drinking tea and taking a deep breath. And maybe it’s the tea, or the company, or the stillness of the moment, but you find yourself…energized? A pep in your step, so to speak. Maybe finding your little star won’t be so hard after all.
With a jolt, you’re back on your feet, ready to take on the world and whatever it could throw at you. Alright! Yeah! You got this! You actually got this! And you believe yourself this time! Ok, take a deep breath. What’s your next step?
The Library.
When Sif isn’t doing odd jobs around town, they’re always spending time at the library. He likes to help out one of the librarians who’s cataloging old books from Sif’s home country. Spending hours reading headache books is something you couldn’t imagine yourself doing, but you know how much it means to Sif. You wouldn’t stop them from learning more about their old home. Amour should be working today. You’ll have to ask Xim.
You turn to your guest. “Eleanor, I'm going to need to close up shop. I'll have that shawl delivered to you first thing in the morning to make it up to you.”
She softly chuckles, “looking forward to it, dear. Go make things right, but be careful with the rain, it's not letting up anytime soon.”
You nod, making your way to the front door and seeing your guest off. She's not wrong, it's not the harshest rain but the puddles are already starting to turn into pools. Despite how redundant this weather makes it feel, you flip the store sign to “closed”. Taking an umbrella, you step forth into the damp morning.
The sounds of pitter patter echo in your ears. The only thing you can smell is the rain. Rainy days are… hard to place. Some days the smells and sounds are beautiful and inspire a fun new outfit, but sometimes you get a bad feeling from it. Like it's the harbinger of something awful. This time, you're trying your best to see it as the former. The only harbinger of awfulness are your slightly wet socks. It feels awful. This whole morning is awful. Crab, this is really making you hate the rain. It’s still humid even in the middle of fall, it makes the damp air cling to your body, which puts you in a sour mood.
Thankfully you spot the warm light of the library in the distance. With any luck you'll be able to find Sif inside, wrapped up in a cute little blanket as he reads out a romance novel you recomm-
Your fantasy is interrupted as you smack face first into the library door. From the door's window you spot the library reception failing to stifle any laughter. Your cheeks go dark with embarrassment. You try to play it off like a joke, laughing it off as you enter and wave to the receptionist with a silly face.
“Haha… Yeah, I'm a pretty goofy guy… is, um… Is Amour here today?”
She swallows her giggling and takes a deep breath. “Yes, they're huddled up in the history section. You can't miss them.”
She hands you a towel and you dry yourself off. You thank her, and walk past the reception.
Can't miss them. She's not wrong. Amour is a very noticeable person. From the way they seem to wobble from shelf to shelf, to the streaks of pure darkless hair that remind you of Sif, everything about them stands out. Not to mention they’re just as tall as you. You don’t even need to ask for directions, they stand out more than Madam Odile, and it’s not like they ever leave the history section anyway.
Still, it’s nice to be inside. The rain out there was brutal. You’re really trying not to think about what it’s going to be like when you have to leave. Well it’s not like the storm is going to last the whole day. It’ll probably let up soon. No need to worry about it! Besides, it could get way worse, and you’d still be able to tough it out, you're a tough guy.
The interior of the library is calming. Light shades of wood coat the walls and shelves, with so many different shades of books dotting across the whole building. The soft glow of flame in the torch bulbs fill you with just the coziest feelings. You always liked the open space that let you look down into the basement floor, it always made the place feel larger than anything else. This was the kind of place you loved to visit as a kid, reading books about so many different fields and professions and imagining yourself in every role. You ended up picking the best one. It would be so cool if you could show that younger version of you all the things you have in your current life. Maybe you just want to brag a little to someone. Despite your current flaws, you have to admit, you have it pretty good compared to others. Your problems are just small stuff that you can take care of. Though the how still alludes you. Maybe there’s a book in here that will show you how to solve it.
Well, you don’t see a book, but you do spot the person you were looking for.
“Amour? You busy right now?” You call out.
“ISABEAU!!-
Several shushes cry out across the history section of the library.
“Ah. haha. Well then, it’s nice to see you. Exciting one might say, if it wasn’t frowned upon in a library. Now then, what can I do for the most fashionable and half of the cutest couple in Jovente?”
Amour is the kind of person who’s always just a little bit too high energy. No matter what your mood is. But Xe means well, you can’t deny that. Besides, they’re one of Sif’s few friends here. At least you’re pretty sure they’re friends. Sif spends a lot of time here at least. Amour found out that he was an islander, and could even read the language. Xe had family from the island, studied history as a way to make a connection with that family. One had the knowledge and the other had the resources, it just made sense for them to team up when it came to learning more about the island. Those two have spent who knows how long translating texts, spending weeks huddled up in here whenever they find a new book. You remember when you first read one and called it a headache book in front of Sif. You cringe thinking about that. Still, you don’t know how to feel about obsessively researching something that might have had a good reason to be forgotten in the first place.
“Well I guess I’m looking for that other half. Have you seen Sif around here?”
Their smile widens. “Yes. Yes! Well you see I asked them to join me today for another grand sleepover with plenty of texts to translate! I only just came into possession of my father’s journal! It’s all in the island’s language of course. But I’m sure we can learn so much about island culture from this!”
“Are they here?”
The smile fades. “No, They asked me for texts that were translated and left. Said he didn’t have time tonight and it would have to be held off a few days.”
“Sorry… Tell Sif we need to talk if you see him.” You feel a little bad being so dismissive of them. You’re just in a bad mood.
“Is something the matter, Isabeau?”
You blink. “Huh? N- no! Not at all. I just have a lot to tell them.”
“...Oh dear, you two didn’t get into a lovers quarrel did you? You two really are an old bonded couple.”
“Three years isn’t that old, Amour.”
“Right, right, of course, my apologies. But I’m right, aren’t I? You didn’t deny it just now. You two had a little fight. Anything you need loveable Amour to help with?”
People are starting to stare, you can feel their gaze as your conversation continues. No one wants to listen in, but in a library, it's not exactly easy to ignore the only voices in the building.
“...Look, we didn’t fight, ok? Sif just left out of nowhere and I want to talk to them about non-fight related stuff. And I don’t need you getting involved.”
“You could do with working on your lying. There’s something going on. Come on, you can tell me~! At least let me take a guess. You’re paranoid because Siffrin barely talks, right?”
You take a step back, caught off guard by the sudden attack on you. No, xe's not attacking you. Your face gave you away, you're scared they're right.
“Huh? No he talks to people! I mean like. Well… uh… He talks to the people who hire him.”
“You and I both know that asking people if they have a leaky roof or a clogged sink does not count as an engaging conversation. It’d be a little sad if that was the case. It’s also a little sad he doesn’t seem to talk to you anymore. You… talk to people more than that too, right?”
That one hurt. You really hate how good xe is at guessing these things. You’re not paranoid, no. And you do talk to people, definitely more than Sif. Maybe… he doesn’t talk to you at least. Maybe if it was just the one time, you’d be paranoid, but… this hasn’t happened just one time. He’s been doing this a lot. Ignoring you in these small subtle ways. Having you play second fiddle to someone who isn’t even here. Of course you’re not paranoid. It’s a simple, noticeable, repeating pattern. What you’re feeling is neglect. Or maybe you are being paranoid. Siffrin learned their lesson back in Dormont. They wouldn’t keep secrets from you, right?
“Look Isabeau, Siffrin can be a little callous at times, unintentionally of course. They were barely focused on me too. Trust me, I’m not trying to hammer a wedge between the two of you, I’m only saying that Siffrin can be… a little unobservant sometimes. I doubt he means anything by it. Don’t go thinking he’s intentionally spurring you. I’m sure a simple talk could fix things as long as you don’t go in wound up and accusing them. He’s been through a lot. I mean, he’s told you about the house right?”
“Y-yeah. Parts of it. The pieces M’dame Odile or I could get out of him. I’m surprised they told you any of it.”
“Isabeau. They told me all of it.”
…
Time stands still all of a sudden. You’re left stunned to the point you can’t even feel the ground beneath you. They- they… they told Amour everything? You only got to hear the parts Odile could force out of them, and the few parts that pertain to you.
“But not like… all of it, all of it. Right?”
“Wish craft, how it changed them, the Star that helped them, yes Isabeau. All of it.”
Amour’s crooked unsure smile falls, replaced with genuine concern and a hand wrapped around your shoulder. It’s terrifying that you can barely feel it. You can’t feel much of anything. At some point you realize it’s shock and you take a step back to calm down. You grip your arms and squeeze them until feeling returns to you. You don’t try to breathe like Sif because you don’t want to think about Sif right now. You need to focus on yourself and you feel so awful doing that why are you being so rude about Siffrin please just focus on-
“ISABEAU!”
A crowd of shushes wash over you and Amour, and you’re brought back to your feet. Firmly planted at the library. Aware of yourself once again. Amour is looking at you with a deep concern that you really don’t like.
“I’m… Sorry, Isabeau. I-”
An awkward silence follows
“You should go. Siffrin mumbled something about the favor tree. I don’t know if that’s where they are now or not. I… I’ll… I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I guess you can wait around there for them.”
You nod. Not sure what to say. You’ll have to talk about it later, but you don’t say anything now. You let your feet carry you back outside, which slammed you into a bookshelf. Amour asks if you’re ok, but you don’t respond. You continue to walk back into the pouring rain, and you really try not to think about it, or anything, right now. You’re being paranoid.
You have to be paranoid. Thinking like that about Siffrin telling someone else his trauma is something horrible. They are an individual capable of making their own decisions. That includes deciding on who to talk to about what. And Amour is one of their people. Xe wasn’t even trying to antagonize you with that, so why are you being so butthurt about this???
Butthurt…hurt. You’re hurt. They could have spoken to you about this so much sooner, but they chose not to. What does that make you? No no, stop thinking about this. You don’t have time to think about this. You have to…you have to keep looking.