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The last hour of class on Friday was the absolute worst.
Cater had already sat through a full week of droning about long past escapades that didn’t interest him at all. Why was history so important that they had to memorize every little detail? Some generalization probably couldn’t hurt. The sun warmed his back, beating down through the floor to ceiling windows. The temperature fluctuation was making him sleepy, he understood why Leona struggled to stay awake in this room so often.
He sighed and tapped his pencil with his index finger. It could be worse he supposed, at least the weekend was just around the corner. Because of that, and since it was nearly the end of the day, he could instead shift his focus to one of his favorite classroom activities instead: torturing Trey Clover.
The only thing he liked at all about the history of magic was that Trey-Trey was there— and that especially in this dull environment after being subjected to hours of yammering, his stamina was sapped in such a way that he couldn’t keep his eyes off Cater.
It hadn’t taken him long to notice, to feel the gaze of his best friend burning on his skin. It was adorable, the way Trey’s eyes would flick back down to his paper, trying to pretend he hadn’t been looking hard enough to count Cater’s eyelashes. It wasn’t just once either. Reliably, it was every last class period at least a couple times a week.
It took no time at all to gamify this enchanting little habit. Cater quickly discovered if he tilted his head to expose his throat, or chewed the pencil eraser just so to show off a sharp canine, Trey would almost always accost him on the way back to his dorm room to shove his tongue down his throat. Sometimes if he played his cards right and really milked it, he could even get the larger man to let Cater jerk him off.
It was the best. Pushing Trey’s buttons and getting him all riled up to a breaking point. All without him even knowing that Cater was doing it on purpose.
Speaking of Trey, wow, he did look good today. He had just gotten his hair trimmed up on a trip into town and Cater had been a little too sucked in to how handsome he looked after a barber visit. He wanted to shove his hands into those short green layers, and run his nails along his scalp. He always enjoyed the velvety feeling on his palms.
He snuck a look at the vice warden, who was bent over his textbook with a highlighter. He chewed his lips thoughtfully, and Cater was left remembering how those same lips felt on his neck earlier that week. How Trey had pulled his shirt off his shoulder for more access to skin, and helped himself while Cater held on tight. His breathing had been so hot against his sensitive flesh, Trey never rushed through enjoying any part of Cater’s body. Even now he was still sporting a dark purple hickey from where Trey had left his mark. He had tried halfheartedly to cover it with makeup— but if he was honest, he liked it being visible. Even if no one else knew who left it, Cater did, and that was plenty enough reason for him to feel fuzzy in the head about it.
He had to look away. There was still at least 20 minutes left to class, Cater could not get worked up like this. Besides, he could appreciate him later when he got his way. He should focus on sitting pretty and being eye candy.
Only 2 minutes tops of casual posing had passed before Cater inexplicably felt his gaze drifting back in Trey’s direction. He just wanted to take a little peek at his hands. They were veined and strong from his baking routine and spelldrive practice. He had callouses, and the occasional burn scar from being a little too fast and loose near the stove. It was a cute side effect of his confidence in the kitchen. It was sexy to Cater, how broad and thick they had become from kneading dough regularly. They felt so good on his own slim arms when Trey would get a little bit aggressive as they made out. Just as nice were the moments where his fingertips would softly run over Cater’s back, slid comfortably up and under his shirt. Shit, did he leave that tank top in Trey’s room?
Cater’s grip tightened on the edge of his book and he swallowed— again shifting focus back to Professor Trein at the front of the room. Literally, what was he even talking about anymore? There would probably be a test on all this so he should really listen up. It was Trey’s job to stare anyway.
His supposed focus only lasted for a paltry 7 minutes before Cater’s traitorous gaze was on Trey again. Just a little look at his kissable cheeks wouldn’t kill him. This time though, instead of a quick peak to sate his craving, his heart leapt into his mouth. Trey and Cater’s eyes locked. The larger man was leaning on the heel of his palm with that stupid, charming expression he so frequently made. One eyebrow up, the other tilted down with a playful smirk. He had the audacity to make an innocuous little shrugging gesture, and to mouth questioningly.
“May I help you?”
God dammit. Cater had been caught, and it was so hot. How many other times had Trey noticed and just pretended not to? This was so embarrassing. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all. He looked so smug he wanted to run up and smack him.
Trey should never know how deeply into him Cater was, and little slip ups like this were dead giveaways. The best he could do was pass it off with a wink, trying to be casual before realizing with dread just how pink he was.
He had been thinking about his friend a lot lately. More than ever, if he were to be truly honest with himself. The text messages between them almost never ended when they were apart. Beyond just preventing Riddle’s crash outs, they shared anecdotes and jokes, flirts and photos. Cater had also recently taken to spending a night or so a week sleeping in Trey’s room. He just rested way better when Trey was there.
When the vice warden would inevitably get overloaded with work and have to spend more time on his duties, Cater would become acutely aware of his absence and just how much of his life he planned around Trey.
It was mortifying. Never once had he rolled over in the morning wishing another guy was in his bed. That was, until now. He always had managed to keep flings at arms length. Opening up was dangerous, because everything ends somewhere along the line. It wasn’t worth the investment if he’d just end up forgotten. That being said, with Trey, Cater’s vulnerability had happened gradually, and fully without his intent.
The other man was just so damn good to him. He never pushed, but asked all the right questions to coax the heaviness out of Cater’s chest. It had become natural, Trey having his trust. He had a way of always making Cater feel that letting him in just a bit more wouldn’t hurt. All this made pushing Trey away when he finally remembered his own rules around this sort of thing really sting.
Not to mention how Trey talked to him, how he looked at him. There were so many times Cater knew that Trey wanted to say those three god-forsaken little words to him. In the dark of his dorm after kissing and groping under the covers. Again, in the light of sunrise when Trey would shake him awake to get ready for another day— leaving a pillow that smelled like him behind. He never spoke it aloud though, and the worst part of that was Cater knew it was all for his sake. How was he any better than Riddle? If Trey had to repress himself around him too? Some friend he was turning out to be.
Scalding panic was starting to rise along the back of his neck, his fingers prickled with static. He had to talk to someone about this, and it absolutely could not be Trey.
Before he could spiral further, Trein’s book closed with a mighty thump and the professor exhaled. “Please, do not forget to turn in your analysis of chapter 42, those of you with missing assignments will be expected to have them on my desk on Monday. Absolutely no excuses.”
“Does the analysis include the sub chapters or just the main text?” Vil’s clear voice rang out from the upper level of the classroom where he sat with arms crossed. Rook Hunt sat beside him, looking on in quiet worship, as if every word that passed his companion’s lips turned to gold.
Now there was a guy who was not afraid to accept intense affection directed his way. Vil never retreated when Rook doted on him, in fact it seemed to please him in a way that thoroughly surprised Cater.
This realization showed him exactly who he had to consult about all this.
“Sub chapters are absolutely included, Mr.Schoenheit.”
“Mn. Noted.”
Cater stood up quickly, his chair making a horrible shrill squeak from the force as he gathered his things, glancing at Vil anxiously. He wanted to stop him before he could leave, but also– Trey was already making his way over. How was he supposed to get rid of him so he could get Vil in private? He wasn’t about to tell Trey to go on without him, that would be crazy sus. They always walked back together every day.
Then he noticed Rook, his bright eyes keenly boring into Cater. They snapped from him, to Vil, to Trey. Just how long had he been paying attention to Cater’s distress? Did he know… stuff? As if in response, the hunter silently adjusted his hat, catlike grin both knowing and playful. Rook confidently strode his way over, breezily passing Cater with a light pat on the shoulder— finally intercepting Trey as he approached.
“Bonjour! Chevelier, my dear clubmate and clever friend! I do hope you might be willing to accompany me on a brief errand. It won’t take much time at all, you have my word on that. But! I simply cannot manage it alone!”
“Uh, I mean I guess that I—“
Cater should be totally flipping. His turmoil being so obvious to Rook of all people did not bode well for his ability to keep things under wraps. Instead, he was thankful, this meddling dork with his love of all things mysterious was doing him a favor. His booming laugh only grew quieter as he herded Trey out of the room, who was continuing to weakly protest, but ultimately was unable to refuse Rook’s enthusiastic demands.
God, it sucked so much to owe one to Rook. He’d probably have to watch another musical with him, one of those long ones that he really loved.
All that aside, he finally approached Vil, who was busy checking himself over in a compact mirror. Despite looking preoccupied, he greeted Cater immediately.
“Hello Cater. Now that my dear Rook has properly disposed of Trey Clover, we will be able to talk about whatever is so obviously nagging at you.”
Vil glanced over and raised a brow. “Stress causes wrinkles, relax your mouth.” He reached out a lace-gloved hand and patted Cater’s cheek lightly, as if trying to knock his jaw muscles loose.
“No way, Vil! Am I dropping the ball that hard? I thought I was doing a good job keeping cool!” Cater whined, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Well you are wrong. You were fidgeting all class period, and Rook easily followed your gaze to who I assume is the cause of all this. Magicam is a much easier venue for farce than a small room.” Vil hummed. He was stern but… did Cater sense concern?
“Ahhh wow, you really got me. You’re right, it is about Trey to a degree. But, it’s actually a little more about me… I think?” Cater’s voice became quieter towards the end of his sentence. This was tough, but he kept going. “My question is about relationships, if that’s something you’re like… cool talking about.”
“I have no issues discussing those sorts of things. Come now, be direct and don’t waste time waffling. I am not going to laugh at you.”
Not going to laugh? A statement that specific actually made Cater feel a little better. This was a huge gamble for someone like him, stepping in front of a bus felt safer than talking through what he was about to bring up. “About how you are with Rook, you’re so close to him. It’s clear that he really loves you. How are you able to accept that so easily? Isn’t it scary? Having a guy know you so deeply when college is so temporary?”
Vil stopped what he was doing, crossed his legs with a deep sigh and gestured to the seat next to him. “Sit. There’s already far too many things to address with what you just said and we have only just begun.”
Cater obeyed, plopping down and clumsily dropping his textbooks in a disorganized pile on the desk. Vil visibly winced.
“First of all, you are correct. Rook does love me, deeply and obsessively. I also love Rook. As intensely and loyally as he loves me, in fact.” Vil stated factually, tucking some loose hair behind his ear. “It is easy for me to accept this because I deserve his love. He is lucky to be able to spend his time so near to me, just as I know he is utterly and fully irreplaceable in my life. Love is earned, and I have truly earned Rook Hunt’s affection.”
Cater was in awe. Vil was always had a way of putting things that Cater couldn’t even begin to frame around himself. Of course Vil deserved love, it only made sense.
“I totally see that for you. I think sometimes, since I’m not quite in your league…” He tried to maintain joviality, laughing as he self depreciated— but his voice skipped mid giggle before he could recover.
“Let us… slow down. Before I continue, you and Trey are not official am I correct? You are having sex though, aren’t you?” Vil asked all this similarly to how a nurse would at an exam.
Cater was floored. He didn’t know what to do with his face or hands now, so he started stammering like a teenager and shuffling in his chair. “We— I’m — uhh no- we’ll kinda— it’s like!! We haven’t fuc—er gone all the way yet? Like we kiss a lot and we do hand stuff and sometimes mouth—“
Vil put a hand up in the universal signal to stop, groaning under his breath before beginning to massage his own temples. “This is all so much worse than I expected it to be. Cater, you’re telling me you and Trey Clover, the completely inseparable pair, who often—“ He raised a finger in Cater’s face. “So often, arrive to classes covered in each other's bites and bruises, have not even slept together?”
“We sleep in the same bed sometimes?” Cater offered weakly.
Vil stared at Cater as if the other man had grown two heads. “How did this begin?” He interrogated, “I need context for how this has been able to continue in such a messy way for such a long time.”
Cater normally would have long become defensive by now, but this was Vil. Vil had a way of guiding those around him that could seem harsh if viewed from the wrong perspective. He always refused to sugar coat his advice, or tip toe around a delicate topic. He was a good guy. It was actually his unapologetic truth that Cater knew he needed right now, even if it freaking scared the pants off him.
“It’s a whole thing, but the abridged version is that only a few weeks into getting here I was already mad attracted to Trey. We were in the same home room class, same dorm, I was around him a bunch since day one. He was just… different. Different from anyone I’d met before.” He smiled softly, as images of awkward freshman Trey entered his mind.
“We got along so well that we ended up doing room swaps with some other freshman so we could share a space full time.” Cater looked off into nowhere in particular, remembering how excitedly they filled out the paperwork together for the trade. How Trey had looked up at him with something so mischievous and fond flickering in his eyes. Their hands had brushed passing the pen back and forth, and something that simple had been more exciting than any random hookup he’d ever had.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you about my early alarms, Cater. No takebacks.”
His heart thudded again just thinking about it. Maybe that had been when he knew. “I knew Trey was about to be in high demand. How could he not be? He’s so sexy without trying at all. Ugh! It makes me so mad! It was pure selfishness, and I know it, but I wanted to claim him first. I didn’t want him to get snapped up by someone else before I could make him one of my flirty friends.”
Saying this part out loud was really making Cater think. He felt tight in his throat and scratchy all down his arms. It sucked, but he couldn’t place why.
“I came on so strong, I had to really. Trey doesn’t think you mean it unless you make drastic moves. I thought I would have to kiss him first, but I was shocked when one day, after super pushing his buttons all week long, he just went totally wild on me. He grabbed me and moved in for a way more assertive kiss than I ever expected out of him. It was the most crazy chemistry I’d ever felt with anyone. I was instantly obsessed. All I could think about was the next time we could be alone, and I don’t know if I’ve ever stopped.”
Cater sighed, laboriously forcing his way through this continuous honesty. “I thought I’d be messing around with a lot of people at this school, but Trey had to be a jerk and totally ruin other boys for me. Any time I wanted to play around, I wasn’t even interested anymore unless it was him. It’s just… been like that always, with the two of us.”
“I see.” Vil was listening attentively, fingertip resting on his chin. His expression was pensive, he was clearly thinking hard before looking up and surmising. “It sounds as if you wanted to fill a void at first, and now you have developed sincere feelings that you are struggling to contend with.”
Sincere feelings.
The prickliness intensified to a burn, and now Cater was nauseous. He wasn’t the type to get feelings for people. He was flighty and social, and he had a policy of only letting people close enough for an easy cut and run. All the same, Vil was right. He had gambled by letting Trey know the real him.
He let Trey know the Cater who blinked back tears under a bed sheet after a call with his sisters, not allowing even one to fall. The Cater who had to sleep with a night light because the darkness was too overwhelming. The Cater that asked how Trey was doing every morning, and really really meant it. Now he was paying the price and had lost control.
Cater was in love with Trey Clover.
“Fuck— what am I gonna do?” Cater asked, more desperation in his voice than he could feasibly control. “We are only here for a little while. I’m not exactly the type of person who keeps people around. Even when I’ve tried to, messages get left on read, calls are fewer, and in the end it all just… stops. If I have sex with Trey, he WILL tell me he loves me, and if he does I’ll have to tell him I feel the same! I can’t lie to him. I don’t know why but I’ve only ever been able to hide stuff for so long when it’s from his stupid, clueless, sweet…”
Cater could only look away, and blink hard. He wouldn’t cry in front of a celebrity. That’s not the way Cater Diamond operates.
“I’m just as bad as our Housewarden for making Trey feel like he has to hold it all in. I just can’t accept it. If I accept that he loves me I think I might die.”
“Alright.” Vil said decidedly, before shocking Cater by taking the other man’s hand in his own. Vil’s fingers were beautifully manicured, and so soft it was unreal. All that moisturizer wasn’t for nothing. “Cater. You said it yourself, Trey is different. He is different, and he loves you. Every relationship you have is not identical. People have left your life in the past, and it could have been for any number of reasons. Your personality could be a part of that, but it also could have had no bearing at all. There is no way for you to know for sure.”
Vil squeezed firmly, while reaching with his other hand to gently guide Cater by the chin. He was pulled slowly back into making eye contact. “While that is true, it is also true that you deserve the love of Trey Clover. You are a creative, passionate, beautiful man. You have earned the way that he looks at you when you laugh. The only way that you can accept that now, is to fully and unapologetically accept yourself. If you reject him out of self doubt, it is likely you will look back on this with regret for the rest of your life.”
Vil continued steadily, resolve and empathy reflected in his words. “We are adults now, this isn't grade school where your parents' choices can uproot you at any time. Not high school, where friends and lovers' immature whims leave behind scars that only other children could create. College is the beginning of many things, including a future that could include Trey beside you. The responsibility is yours now. If you think he is holding back on your account, yours must be the voice that sets him free to tell you everything. It is time to let him terrify you.”
Now he was crying in front of a celebrity. This was so not camable.
“You’re right. Dammit. I hate that you’re right. You really were the right guy to ask. Thank’s Vil. I’m… I gotta really think this all over. Stuff can’t stay like this.” He sniffed, using his sleeve to dry his eyes. Oh good, now his makeup was absolutely everywhere.
“Of course I am. Feel free to come to me with these things. I know how it feels to totally lose control of expectations for oneself about love. Rook and I got together quite quickly, but it was not a simple matter for me internally. I was very cross with the idea at first, I assure you.” Vil was scooting his mirror and a small container of cotton rounds Cater’s way as he spoke. “Here. You can touch up.”
“I’m so curious now, I always wondered about you guys.” Carter hummed, finally calming down and taking advantage of Vil’s preparedness.
“That’s for another day. I hear Rook’s voice down the way already. It really carries, does it not?”
Cater couldn’t help but smile at the affection in Vil’s voice when observing something about Rook that was so off putting to most other people.
The door swung open with ceremony, Rook stepping in first and holding it behind him while Trey peaked around the corner tentatively.
“We have returned from our journey to the school store! So many delights were there to choose from, I stood paralyzed! I was right to bring along the Chevalier, his valuable opinion on beverage brands ultimately brought me to a decision.”
“It’s just sparkling water.” Trey said, laughing under his breath before making eye contact with Cater.
Trey knew something had happened almost instantly, it was all over his face as he quickened his pace to where the smaller man was seated. He dug in the plastic bag he clutched, pulling out a can of lime water.
“I got this for you, it’s unsweetened. I thought you’d still be here when I came back. Are you…?”
Cater reached out, instead of grabbing the can, wrapping his grip around Trey’s wrist. He tugged him into a tight hug, leaving the vice warden stunned in place.
He tried to ignore the loud clap of Rook’s gloved hands clasping in rapture. As well as Vil’s prim little smirk. He would have to get used to these sorts of things if he wanted anything to change.
“I just had to ask Vil some questions. I’m peachy now, so how about we walk to the dorm together? Since you know, you came all the way back just for me.”
“That works for me. As long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters.” Trey said, lightly dazed and very pink.
“Yay! Thanks Vil, see you Monday!” With that Cater linked arms with Trey and pulled him along to the courtyard. It was strange, that this feeling had become more natural to him than walking alone.
“Now Trey-Trey, since we are alone” he hummed, looking over his shoulder “Why don’t we finish up our conversation from class. I think you were asking how you could help me?”
Trey scoffed, raising an eyebrow before lurching forward and grabbing Cater up by the waist, wrestling his wiggling body over his shoulder while Cater yelped in dramatic fake distress. “I guess I was asking, wasn’t I? You gotta keep your grades up, you know. If you don’t focus in class because you like looking at me so much, I’ll have to start tutoring you.”
Trey was in rare form today huh? “Oh? Okay, Professor Trey-Trey. You act like I wouldn’t love to have you leering over me at a desk.” Cater twittered, finally giving in to his position in Trey’s grasp. He wasn’t letting go.
Trey chuckled gently and then paused. A moment of quiet passed between them before Trey spoke again, mirth suddenly erased from his voice. “Cater. Will you tell me someday? These things that you don’t feel comfortable sharing now. Is there a chance I’ll be allowed to know? I don’t mind if it is a while from now, as long as you promise me.”
Cater’s insides spun like a washing machine. It’s alright, being scared couldn’t hurt him.
Feelings can’t kill him, it’s just like Vil said, fear was necessary sometimes, especially if he wanted to stop chasing his tail. Cater cleared his throat. “Yeah. I think… sooner than later, actually. Thanks for being patient with me Trey. I don’t think I tell you that enough.”
That seemed to be good enough for now, Trey maintained his serious tone as he replied. “Sooner than later. I like the sound of that. Please, don’t thank me for doing what I want to do. My relationship with you… we are different. It’s not work.”
Cater nodded where he dangled, noting how effortlessly Trey walked on despite shouldering his full body weight. “I… yeah we are different. It’s easy… with you.” He felt tension ease in Trey’s muscles as he spoke.
The smaller man perked up, pivoting to get a look at his surroundings. “Hey, like, are you gonna put me down? We are almost to the portal.”
Trey hummed thoughtfully before answering. “No… I actually don’t think I will.”
“Hah! Really? Alright weirdo."
“You’re having fun.”
“I am.”