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“Shush. My favorite show is on!”
Kai can feel his eyes gleaming, his heart pounding, and angels singing the songs of love as he watches the two leads of his favorite show fit perfectly in his line of vision.
“I’m sorry, what?” Beomgyu asks, and his question sounds so genuine, Kai doesn’t have the heart to be annoyed.
He has clueless friends, but he also has only the two of them, so even though they might not be very bright, he still loves them the same.
“For the hundredth time, Kang Taehyun and Choi Yeonjun. They're dating,” he explains, sighing at the beautiful sight.
When the words leave Kai's lips, they do so with certainty. Not a slip of tongue, not an inside thought that had been meant to be kept inside.
Kai means it. And he's announcing it to his friends with utmost confidence, and maybe a little tinge of dreaminess. That means he expects to hear his friends either echo his sentiments and admire the beautiful display of love playing out before him, or at least acknowledge the fact and promise not to conveniently forget it again.
Not a deadpan–
“They're not even looking at each other. They're also on different tables.”
Kai frowns at Soobin's soulless response. That's not a good tone, but it doesn't stop his gaze from continuing to flicker between Taehyun and Yeonjun– the big stars of his favorite romance film.
“They’re in the same frame in my line of vision. That’s gotta count for something.”
He nearly lets out a whoop when Taehyun makes Soobin eat his words by getting up abruptly to stride past Yeonjun's table. Due to the tight fit, he bumps into Yeonjun's back slightly with his hip before they exchange a glance.
First of all, the library is huge. There was literally no reason for Choi Yeonjun to try and shimmy his way past Taehyun when several other routes existed. But more importantly, the exchange is everything.
It all clicks, and he lets out an audible gasp, his fists coming down to slam onto their table, alarming his two friends, who quickly look around. Probably for trivial reasons like checking if they’ve caught the attention of the librarians around. Unimportant. Kai should teach them the importance of priorities next time.
“Guys. I'm wrong. I've been grossly mistaken.”
“Fucking finally. I need you to stop shipping random people together just because you think they’re both hot.” Beomgyu should watch his tone, but Kai's too focused on his earth-shattering discovery to argue with him about it.
He shakes his head like a ghost possessed before inhaling deeply, the puzzle pieces finally connecting perfectly.
It all makes even more sense now.
“They're not just dating. They're also… having… sexual relations.”
Soobin actually chucks a pen in Kai's direction before getting up to leave.
-
Kai has no idea when his obsession with uncovering the secret relationship between two seemingly unacquainted individuals, Kang Taehyun and Choi Yeonjun began. In fact, Kai himself doesn’t even know the pair personally beyond working with either of them on a couple of class projects.
Ah, even those were great memories. It's like seeing your otp up close, you know? Kai's a dedicated shipper. He just refuses to admit it to Beomgyu – especially Beomgyu of all people.
But it most likely started three weeks ago, when he happened to share a lecture with Kang Taehyun and spent approximately three quarters of the session staring at his broad back and how his muscles flexed under his extremely tight black shirt whenever he moved.
Kai has no qualms admitting that he hit it off pretty well with Taehyun’s back. It is a really good back. Broad, accentuates his snatched waist. And being situated right behind gave Kai the perfect vantage point to admire the view. Only a fool wouldn't try to be better acquainted with that stellar posterior.
That aside, it was the very moment Kai had been too distracted to notice class had ended, that Choi Yeonjun stepped into his view. It is completely beside the point that he was yet another subject of Kai's daily admiration sessions. The main point is, Kai hadn’t quite heard of any rumors between the two campus hotties. If anything, he thinks he’s done enough surface-level snooping across their social media accounts to draw any links between his two college eyecandies.
So, his bafflement is completely justified when his gaze lands on Yeonjun at the perfect, brief second he casts a glance over at Taehyun with a light smirk.
You see, to everyone else, that would literally be nothing, and Kai may be imaginative, but calling him delusional would surely be a stretch. Most probably.
But when his eyes darted to Taehyun, the man did the most outrageous thing ever.
He smirked back.
Kai recalls his jaw dropping right down and crashing into his writing tablet in the most cartoonish way possible. He very likely also gasped loudly enough for both Taehyun and Yeonjun to turn around in surprise, but blatantly preoccupied by his new discovery, all he could focus on was sprinting back to his dorm to blow up their social media accounts on Soobin’s big screen to scrutinize each photo in detail.
It isn’t just Kai’s nosiness. Okay, perhaps it is, he’ll bite. But imagine two sexy men who you’d thought had nothing to do with each other, actually being together. It’s probably the normal people version of finding out two of your biases from vastly different groups might secretly be dating. It’s groundshattering news for someone like Kai.
Nothing showed up initially as he scanned their feeds. They did follow each other’s Instagram accounts, but so did most people in their university, but more importantly, they had never interacted or appeared together in any posts. But nothing ever escapes Kai’s laser-focused eyes. So fully utilizing Soobin’s 27-inch LG OLED monitor, he finally found concrete, undeniable evidence.
Lovestagram.
No, it wasn’t as simple as them visiting the same places.
It was how, in one specific photo of Yeonjun in some sort of bar, something had reflected off his cocktail glass.
Or rather, someone’s teeth.
Kai would recognize that toothy grin anywhere, even if all he has is a blurry, zoomed-in reflection of half that person’s face.
That sealed the deal for Kai, and from then on, he’d become the biggest believer in their secret relationship. Soobin calls him a Taejun Conspiracist and Beomgyu insists that he’s simply fantasizing about two hot people he has no balls to pursue.
Neither accusation is valid because, for one, it is not a conspiracy if Kai has an impenetrable case with solid evidence, and second, Kai has balls. Balls of steel as impenetrable as his discovery.
Maybe he’s sometimes a little stumped when his friends counter his findings with the dreaded “so what” question. But that’s not the main point. They’re dating, and Kai’s friends not getting it is killing him.
Humans thrive on validation, and Kai needs them to see that his theory is not just a theory.
-
“Seriously. What’s your obsession with Yeonjun and Taehyun? I was trying to observe them for three whole hours when we shared a seminar earlier, and neither of them even looked in the other person’s direction. In fact, they sat at opposite ends of the seminar room, I had such a hard time looking at both of them at once, I thought I was gonna become Phineas or Ferb by the end of class.”
Beomgyu stretches and yawns loudly once he’s done talking, flopping onto his bed while still wearing his dirty clothes.
It makes Kai scrunch his nose. He’ll have to change those sheets later. But he likes to see the good in people and focus on the positives.
“Aww, thanks Beomgyu hyung, you’re so sweet for trying to understand my interests!”
Beomgyu turns to his side, propping his head up with his arm and staring at him with his eyes narrowed.
“No, I’m trying to tell you that you sound loony, so you should get over your hyperfixation on two guys you find hot and try to get to know them like a normal person instead of wasting time writing fanfiction in your head.”
Frowning, Kai looks away from Soobin’s monitor. It’s kinda a best friend thing between the three of them. Beomgyu likes snuggling in Kai’s bed and squishing his lifesized Glaceon with his flat ass, and Kai likes using Soobin’s fine suite of electronics and digital tools for free. It ends there, pretty much, because neither Kai nor Beomgyu has anything else worthy for Soobin to steal.
“Now that’s not correct. I’m not imagining things. I’ve shown you plenty of evidence. Besides, I’m not interested in them. Not that way.”
This time, Beomgyu lets out a groan, rolling across his bed and tangling himself in Kai’s sheets before slamming his back against the wall. An exaggerated response, Kai knows he isn’t that infuriating.
“A blurry photo of Taehyun possibly taking a photo of Yeonjun isn’t ‘plenty of evidence’. Okay, let’s say what you’re speculating is true. Why would they even be hiding their relationship, or even that they’re acquainted with each other? You said they don’t even interact on Instagram when they're literally so active there. Isn’t that weird?”
Oh. That’s certainly food for thought. He taps his chin contemplatively.
“That’s a good question. That’s a new thing I should investigate. Maybe you’ll finally believe me if I manage to find out why.”
Beomgyu stares at him for five whole seconds.
Another groan erupts from him, but Kai’s already speeding off to work, the gears in his head spinning as he plans his investigation.
He swipes over to his Instagram app, pulling out the specific post he had saved in his special ‘Taejun Crumbs’ folder as he scans the photo.
“Get help, Kai. Get help. Or get laid. Expel that sexual frustration to clear your brain. I dunno.”
Kai ignores him as always. He knows Beomgyu cares for him, he’s supportive occasionally, and he’s got the spirit.
Instead, he focuses on that glimpse of Taehyun’s reflection and his million watt toothy grin reflected on the glass.
“Ah, Kang Taehyun and Choi Yeonjun. What are you hiding…?”
-
The thing about Kai is that once he hyperfixates on something, it’s hard to drag him away from it. And more importantly, despite him being generally easygoing and almost passive, when someone tries to challenge something he sincerely believes in, it never leaves his head. It occupies every functioning braincell, and he becomes hyperaware of it 24/7.
So Soobin and Beomgyu’s cynicism is something he should be used to, but Beomgyu’s question did stump him a little, and suddenly, finding this final puzzle piece in this mystery becomes a nagging thought that bugs him. Perhaps, it might be the key to making his friends see his vision and the cold, hard truths of Taejun’s secret relationship, and if he has to adopt certain strategies to do it, that’s exactly what he’d do.
And some of these strategies might mean disguising his identity by wearing an extra-large hoodie with a zip-up to cover everything but his eyes, while he strategically hides behind a heavy bag, strategically pushing it every five seconds so he doesn’t look like a creep.
He’s somewhere he doesn’t exactly love being – the gym – which is well, full of sweaty bodies and in general just way too many people for comfort. But he’d lucked out so well, he happened to find Taehyun strutting past him along the corridor and heading straight for the gym.
It was a lightbulb moment really, and he unwittingly trailed after the other man and found himself right outside the gym.
Based on his research, both Yeonjun and Taehyun go to this gym and have posted some very successful thirst traps against the same mirror, often a couple of days apart from each other. Taehyun even has a highlight folder of those, which is borderline insane, though Kai tries not to revisit it too much because that wouldn't be respectful to Yeonjun, even if he doesn't know any of them that well.
It doesn’t matter that there are only three gyms on campus. It has to count for something.
So Kai isn't stalkingthem. He really isn't. If he did, it would have to be intentional. What he's doing is observing them after he lucked out. He isn’t even studying their schedule. There seems to be no need to, when fate and destiny had brought him here in the first place.
Divine intervention.
The goal is simple: he just has to stick around long enough to see if Taehyun exhibits any signs of being in love.
As far as he knows, the narrative most people believe is that both Taehyun and Yeonjun are completely unacquainted, despite both being popular for their good looks and stellar co-curriculars.
This means, even something simple like texting would do wonders to help Kai’s case. Maybe if he’s even luckier, he might even spot Yeonjun lurking around somewhere.
He knows he stands out quite a bit, being clearly unfamiliar with punching that stupid sack around. All he’s really doing is pushing at it with his knuckles occasionally while a somehow even worse remix of ‘Dance Monkey’ screeches at the back at an unacceptable volume.
Taehyun’s so hardcore, he doesn’t even have earbuds on as he completely annihilates the heavy bag, and Kai realizes how illegal it is for him to be slightly distracted by the way his muscles bulge each time he takes a swing.
He’s a taken man. He’s a taken man, goddamit Kai, don’t forget why you’re even here!
“That’s not quite the right stance.”
It takes a full five seconds for Kai to process the words uttered by his ear.
By his damn ear.
A chuckle, and someone’s breath tickles his ear.
“Holy fuck!” Startled, Kai jerks backwards, slamming into a figure behind him who steadies him with two palms around his hips.
The touch is gone just as quickly and Kai spins around in terror to find a familiar face.
Way too familiar.
“Choi Yeonjun?!”
This time, Yeonjun laughs right out, and Kai feels his head go completely empty.
“Yup, that’s me. Though it’s hyung for you. Kai right? We did that Southeast Asian History project together last month, no?”
Kai totally does not need a refresher of the meager connection he has with Choi Yeonjun. And he also totally does not need to know that Choi Yeonjun remembers their meager interaction from the past.
“Sorry for scaring you. I tried to speak to you a few times, but you didn’t seem to hear me, it got a little embarrassing, so I got closer in case you couldn’t hear me. A little preoccupied, huh?” His new company peers behind him, probably in Taehyun’s direction, and Kai nearly snaps his spine clean into half, twisting his entire body to block his vision.
“Not at all!” he squeaks, and he sounds a little bit like a mouse and a whole lot like a pathetic goose honking.
“Just-,” – he jabs the heavy bag a little dumbly with his hip before doing an awkward spin so he’s hopefully blocked Taehyun completely from Yeonjun’s sight – “Just uhm. Taking up a new uhm. Hobby. Not the best at it. Haha. Ha. Ha…”
As if there isn’t enough static noise filling his head in place of actual functioning braincells, Yeonjun decides to smirk.
It’s the exact same quirk of his lips that birthed Kai’s groundbreaking Taejun theory, and Kai feels his throat run dry.
“I don’t mean to interrupt you, but it could be dangerous. Like not having the right stance, and for one, you could injure your knuckles without any protection.”
“Protection?” Kai croaks.
“Gloves?”
Yeonjun’s smile is now kind as he tilts his head as if he isn’t aware that the tiny Kai’s in his head are currently scampering about and trying to yank his mind out of the gutter with their tiny bodies and tiny arms. A futile feat when his brain is nowhere to even be found.
“Right. R-Right! Exactly, oh won’t you look, I don’t even have gloves. I should go and uhm– think of a new hobby. Thanks for the tips!”
The words fall from his lips in a flurry and he turns, about to escape from this catastrophic situation, only to get tugged back by his hood. Or rather, he takes an embarrassing moment to realize he's running on the spot like a cartoon character while Yeonjun has a finger hooked in his hood with amusement slapped across his face.
Had Yeonjun mistaken his Observation Session for some sort of inappropriate ogling of his boyfriend? That was totally not his intention. Okay, perhaps, he’s a tiny bit guilty for admiring Taehyun’s chiseled muscles. But that’s completely justifiable! Mostly. Okay... Probably.
“Oh no! Please don’t leave just because of my little comment. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just thought maybe I could help you so you can… explore this new hobby of yours more safely.”
Kai’s real hobby is collecting crumbs of his interactions with Taehyun but he can’t exactly correct Yeonjun likebthat.
What he can do though, is decline the offer and be on his merry way.
What he actually does though, is nod numbly because something about Yeonjun’s smile and the way his beautiful eyes crinkle into gorgeous crescents is simply disarming.
He nearly slaps himself in the forehead when he registers Yeonjun’s chirpy ‘great, gimme a minute!’ before he disappears somewhere and returns before Kai even has the chance to wake the fuck up and run.
There are a pair of boxing gloves and some handwraps in his hands and that should be Kai’s cue to get the fuck out the exact moment Yeonjun bends down to set the gloves on the ground.
He never gets the fuck out.
“Right, put your hands out, let me show you how to wrap them.”
Kai’s brain nearly shortcircuits, and that must be exactly what has happened inside his non-functioning brain, because there’s no other reason why his muscles would move beyond his will, so he ends up with his hands cradled by Yeonjun as he wraps the elastic around them.
What the hell is happening now? Why is he getting nervous? Why is he even standing here letting a married man touch his hands? How could he do this to Kang Taehyun?
His head screams at him to move, but all he ends up doing is having his wide eyes trained on Yeonjun’s concentrated features as his palms get so clammy they’re probably soaking the handwraps. Call him Walt Disney with how every muscle still remains carcinogenically frozen.
“There, all done. Just put on those gloves.”
Yeonjun lets go of his hands – do not fucking mourn, Jung Kai, don’t fucking mourn – to grab the gloves and bring it up to Kai’s face.
Finally snapping out of his stupor as if those gloves hand landed on his head to wake him up, Kai scrambles to conjure some sort of excuse to get out. Except, before he can make his sputtering and stuttering a bit more coherent to a clearly amused Yeonjun, he takes a step back, only to bump into something.
And that something can speak. Jesus. Fuck.
“Woah, watch it.”
The new voice is familiar. Way too familiar, and now, Kai is positive this whole experience is something conjured up by his overactive mind with his chronic Taejunitis.
“Oh, Tyunnie, hi,” Yeonjun slurs, waving lazily at the person behind Kai.
A hallucination or dream so vivid and ridiculous, it would put Soobin and Beomgyu into a coma if he retold it.
A wave of deja vu sweeps over him, and he nearly drowns in it when he processes the pair of hands catching him by his back to straighten him up.
In a comical series of actions, he jerks away from both men sandwiching him, slamming headfirst into the heavy bag.
This time, both Taehyun and Yeonjun reach out to brace each shoulder and yank him up, and never in his life has Kai been this humiliated and ashamed as he blinks the black dots in his vision away.
“You scared him,” he hears Yeonjun chide, though there’s no heat behind it.
“I’m not the one trying to mansplain boxing to a poor boy without even an ounce of experience.”
“Hey! I’ve seen you do it enough to know something.”
Kai’s head is spinning, and he’s positive it isn’t the blow he suffered to his head that’s causing it.
Apart from the crazy fact that he’s still sandwiched between Kang Taehyun and Choi Yeonjun, with both men somehow holding him, the more he processes the exchange, the more it sounds like Taehyun and Yeonjun are bickering. Which means they are acquainted, and Kai wasn’t wrong!
“Hey Kai, you should sit down,” Taehyun says instead, huffing at Yeonjun’s vehement whining.
“Nope, I’m good!” he replies quickly, though his voice comes out a little as a shout.
His attempt at getting out of the situation falls flat instantly when Yeonjun presses both palms against his cheeks, concern written all over his face as both of them begin to crowd into his space.
“Oh my, darling, your face is so red, are you overheating? We should get you out of this jacket.”
Taehyun swats his hand away and Kai suddenly feels really guilty. Why is Yeonjun so handsy with him? And darling? What the fuck? It isn’t even his intention for Taehyun to misunderstand the situation, so why is he singlehandedly kicking his ship straight toward the iceberg?
“Now you’re the one scaring him,” Taehyun retorts. “Sit down now, Kai, I’ll get you a bottle of water if you don’t have one.”
Kai doesn’t need water. He needs a bucket so he can throw up from the nervousness and sheer incredulity with this ridiculous situation.
“I–” he croaks, squirming his way out of Taehyun and Yeonjun’s grip while ripping off the handwraps. “I’ve gotta go!”
He stumbles a few times, tripping on flat ground and nearly faceplanting a few times before crashing his way out of the gym and sprinting straight to his dorm with zero intention to return for the remaining to classes of the day.
Soobin doesn't even tear his eyes off his computer screen when Kai returns, diving straight into his mattress to let out a bloodcurdling cry.
-
Telling Soobin and Beomgyu anything is a gateway to getting his ego smashed into smithereens, but beggars can’t be choosers, and there’s literally no one else Kai can recount the crazy events to.
Kai stays curled up under his blanket, staring right at the ceiling as Beomgyu bursts out into laughter, squishing him closer and closer to the wall with each heave of his chest. Soobin’s no better, and he looks as if he’s extended the full length of his expensive Secretlab chair with how he’s doubled over, grabbing his stomach as he bursts into boisterous and grating guffaws.
Each time Soobin looks at Kai, he bursts into a fresh fit of barks, meanwhile Beomgyu just emits a long string of screeches as he wipes tears off his eyes.
Kai takes one glance at his hopeless friends before looking back up at the ceiling and thinking of the list of schools he could possibly transfer to. Maybe he could even put in a last-minute request to sign up for some sort of overseas exchange programme, preferably for the next 3 years till he graduates and never returns to breathe the same air as Yeonjun and Taehyun.
“You’re– Fuck my god, I’m crying. You’re saying that Choi Yeonjun caught you checking Kang Taehyun out and started hitting you up instead. And Kang Taehyun saw that and came over to hit you up too?”
Groaning, Kai tries and fails to kick Beomgyu off his lap. “I told you, that’s not what happened. At all. That’s why I never tell you guys anything.”
“Oh no, not at all, you tell us everything, even your TMI fanfiction which we totally don’t need to know but don’t mind at all because it’s entertaining.”
“Ahh–” Soobin lets out a disgusting cough to clear his throat. “Dude, they’re flirting with you. Isn’t that obvious?”
“That’s not flirting. They were taking turns to make sure I don’t check out their boyfriend. Don’t you get the real problem here?! My ship thinks I’m trying to break them up! As if I’m not their number one, or even their only true, loyal shipper!”
Beomgyu lowers his glasses with a playful grin and Kai groans again, smothering his own face with a pillow so he doesn’t have to look at Beomgyu’s stupid face.
“You’re a true, loyal shipper, you say?” Beomgyu spits the word out like it’s a slur and Kai would rather die than exist again.
“Shut up, seriously, shut the fuck up. Just die.”
Someone tugs the pillow from him, pulling it from his face, and Kai’s left staring at Stupid Face #2, Choi Soobin, and his goofy grin.
“Oi. Isn’t this your chance to flirt back with them?”
“What?!” Kai exclaims, the preposterous proposition making him shoot up and headbutt Soobin, who cusses at him and rubs the reddening spot on his forehead. “You’re grossly mistaken. I am definitely not interested in them that way.”
“Okay, like as individuals?” Beomgyu probes, and Kai wonders why they’re suddenly so vested in his Taejunitis as if he hadn’t had his theories brushed off more than sixty-five times in the past three weeks.
“What? I’m just not interested in them like you guys are implying. I just uhm… like seeing them… together?”
Beomgyu adjusts his glasses like he’s some sort of love guru trying to psychoanalyze Kai, which he really is not.
“You like the idea of them together. And you, together with them. Together.”
“No? What the hell, you’re confusing me. I like seeing them together. From afar. You know, like the way Soobin ships AkiAngel!”
“Hey! Doomed yaoi between anime characters is different from you shipping two people who had you sandwiched between them,” Soobin argues, their conversation going ignored by Beomgyu, who doesn’t give a fuck about their references.
“Nah, this boy is dooming his own yaoi,” Beomgyu interjects. “You like seeing them together because you’ve got a crush on them both. I know a fudanshi when I see one, and I know a yearner when I see one. These two things are not the same.”
The way Beomgyu wags his finger as if he’s making a legitimate point makes Kai’s eye twitch. In a fit of anger, he snatches his pillow back from Soobin who, thankfully, has noodles for arms, and hurls it at Beomgyu.
Unfortunately, unlike Soobin, Beomgyu isn’t as physically inept, and he dodges the hit easily with a shit-eating grin.
“You are wilfully misinterpreting the situation. I am not a yearner. I’m here to prove that Kang Taehyun and Choi Yeonjun are really dating. And guess what? I proved it! Case closed!”
“You proved nothing,” Soobin huffs, folding his arms and leaning back precariously on his chair. “All you proved is that they know each other and have maybe hung out together lots. I don’t see how that proves they’re dating.”
Now, Kai isn’t stupid, and he knows exactly what Soobin’s plotting in that mousy, ratty brain of his. And he knows the indignance surging in his veins is a sign that Soobin’s attempt at riling him up is working.
“What the heck, are you Dispatch? They were clearly mindful of me flirting with their partner.”
“You’re the Dispatch reporter, thinking they’re dating from zooming into their Instagram posts from a year ago or something,” Soobin snarks back and Kai can feel steam escaping from his ears with each second he’s subjected to this interrogation. Also, the post was made seven months and three days ago, but Soobin doesn’t need to know that he holds such specific, sacred knowledge.
“I’ll prove it, you Debbie Downers.”
“Fine, prove it. And I’ll let time prove that you are the Debbie Downer dooming your own yaoi,” Beomgyu adds, and his words are so unnecessary, Kai regrets ever teaching him about doomed yaoi when his friend first encountered it on social media. Fudanshi business should be kept among real fudanshis.
Left with nothing to help shield himself from Beomgyu and Soobin’s scathing looks of amusement, Kai ends up turning with a huff and squeezing his face under his giant Glaceon, refusing to turn around even as Beomgyu piles up behind him, tutting disapprovingly.
“You, my boy, are going to end up miserable if you keep denying something as simple as a crush!”
Kai swears he’ll make Beomgyu eat his words.
-
Kai sincerely thinks Beomgyu and Soobin’s words are just utter bullshit.
A crush is far-fetched. Absolutely. He admires their looks, that’s for sure, but that’s only skin deep. The only interactions he’d ever had with them, apart from the catastrophic exchange at the gym, were limited to project work and class discussions, during which Kai barely said more than five words, often pushing the project along by contributing his share of work diligently without anything to say.
So to say that he has a crush on both of them is simply ridiculous. Also, both of them? That’s the kind of greed they talk about in the bible and Kai would definitely not take that specific leaf out of that specific book.
What he does do, though, is make it a point to sit as far away from both Taehyun and Yeonjun the next time they share a class.
The downside is that Taehyun has decided to sit right smack in the centre of the lecture theatre, while Yeonjun has strategically placed himself somewhere in the last row at the centre block. Meanwhile, Kai would rather die than sit closer to the professor and put himself in the splash zone for random questions mid-lecture.
This means he’ll most certainly be spotted by one half of the pair no matter where he sits.
The seconds tick by as he hovers awkwardly at the back entrance till the lecturer finally makes her grand entrance, and he has no choice but to sit his ass down.
So mustering every ounce of his invisibility superpower, he pulls his hood up, trying to stride in discreetly and stuff himself at the furthest corner of the last row.
Once he’s nestled in his seat, he peers over silently at both Yeonjun and Taehyun, and honestly, he knows he should be grateful when they find both of them too focused on their phones to even notice his presence.
He knows that’s what he wanted – to be invisible and not cause any further drama between the happy secret couple – but he can’t figure out why something tugs at his chest when he finally tears his gaze away from them.
Beomgyu and Soobin’s words must be getting to him. He shakes his head furiously, forcing himself to focus on the lecture.
-
Unfortunately, for the next hour, Kai can’t help but let his gaze wander to the two men a whole block of seats away from him. He’s not sure what he’s really looking out for, and he decides, after a whole hour of trying to tear his eyes away from the pair, that he’s really just trying to devise some sort of plan to prove that they’re dating.
That must be it.
So he tries to distract himself by sliding out his Switch under his writing tablet, focusing on loading up a whole new player profile on his newest Pokémon game and trying to farm exp for his new squad of conventionally weak Pokémon before he starts the missions proper.
He’s sufficiently engrossed in his game, the next hour flies by a lot more easily, and he quickly saves his game and chucks his Switch into his bag once he hears the rest of his coursemates beginning to chatter and get ready to leave.
Except, his own escape plan is thrown right out of the window when he tries to turn, only to collide with someone.
Keeping his eyes on the ground, he mutters out an apology, except the person doesn’t budge.
Confused, he looks up in time for his little bubble of protection to burst when his hood is lifted up, and he comes face to face with a smiling Choi Yeonjun.
Hallucinations, dreams, his vivid imagination.
Kai blinks once, twice, hard, turning to his side and attempting to climb over his row of chairs, only to find Kang Taehyun standing right there, unbudging.
He has no idea what the situation is right now. Had he offended them both so much that they truly misunderstood his morbid curiosity in their secret relationship, to be an attempt at tearing them apart?
Kai gulps, unsure of what to do.
“Uhm… Excuse me…? I uh– I have a class soon.”
He’s actually just pencilled in an hour of screaming into his pillow before sleeping the rest of the day off, but neither of them needs to know that.
Unfortunately, his lie is immediately torn apart by Taehyun, who raises an eyebrow.
“I saw you at the library with your friends this exact hour last week.”
Kai’s cheeks grow hot when he realizes that it had been the exact day he came to the extra conclusion that their relationship was deep enough, they’d already done a homerun through every single base possible. He’s usually unaware of his surroundings, but he must have made an embarrassing din, even Taehyun noticed his dramatics.
“Uh. That wasn’t me.”
“No, it was!” Yeonjun chirps, patting his head for no reason. “You even slammed your fists down on the table so loudly while staring at both of us!”
Kai wishes Pokémon were real and he could simply summon Drilbur right at this moment to dig a damn hole in this concrete so he could hide in it forever.
“Okay, that’s not the point,” Taehyun interrupts, and he’s towering over Kai like this while standing a whole step above him, it feels oddly intimidating. “The point is that we’re here to apologize for what happened earlier this week at the gym.”
Kai’s lips part, but he has no clue what to say, the longer he takes to process Taehyun’s words.
“Uh… I’m sorry what?”
“No, we’re sorry,” Yeonjun corrects sagely, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Hah?”
“We were just playing around because you seemed nervous, like it was your first time at the gym, and we both sort of know you. But we realize it must have made you uncomfortable since we’re not that well-acquainted in the first place,” Taehyun continues after Yeonjun fails to supply anything else useful.
Now, Kai’s both confused and a little guilty, given he’d been there to find some sort of clue that they were both dating, which was hardly innocuous in the first place.
He shakes his head slowly. “Uhm, it’s okay. I was just awkward, it’s not either of your faults and I– I uh hope I didn’t cause any misunderstandings between the two of you...” he trails off, trying to keep his words vague.
“Definitely not!” Yeonjun responds, grinning. “But we thought it’d be a waste if we didn’t fix that.”
“Fix what?”
“Fix the problem of us not being well-acquainted!”
“Uhm, what?” Kai’s beginning to feel like a broken tape recorder, but neither Taehyun nor Yeonjun seems to mind.
“We mean that we’d like to get to know you better properly, so we wanted to suggest hanging out together today. If you’re free and willing to, of course.”
Kai feels his jaw nearly unhinge.
“Why would you two want to get to know me better?!”
“Why not?” Yeonjun responds with yet another one of his trademark smirks. Kai actually needs that shit to stop before he goes crazy.
“Don’t mind him. It’s simply because we find you cute and probably fun to hang out with. So we want to get to know you just a little bit better out of classes,” Taehyun cuts in, prompting Yeonjun to nod as if he hadn’t kinda just been insulted in a single breath.
But more importantly, Kai feels his ears heat up when he processes the words properly.
“Me?! Is this some sort of prank? Aren’t you tw—” He cuts himself off, the gears in his head spinning.
It’s starting to dawn upon Kai that the episode at the gym and their current situation are the only occasions he’s spotted both Yeonjun and Taehyun together.
What does that mean? What does that all mean?
“Aren’t we…?” Taehyun presses, his eyes boring into Kai’s.
“Uhm, I didn’t know you guys even knew each other,” he lies straight out of his teeth and Taehyun eyes him with a lethal mixture of mirth and disbelief.
Unlike Taehyun, Yeonjun bursts into unceremonious laughter on his other side, and Kai starts praying for divine intervention, maybe in the form of the fire alarm going off or maybe for a whole meteor to crash into the school building and knock him right out so he doesn’t have to deal with this humiliation.
“We don’t mean to burst your bubble, but we know you’ve been trying to prove that we’re dating. And congratulations, the truth is that we are,” Taehyun supplies, and the revelation is actually so blunt, Kai feels completely naked and cornered, it’s impossible to lie.
“You’re so bad at lying too,” Yeonjun laughs, and Kai has so many questions. So many of them.
“Why are you guys keeping it a secret?” he asks, and he must sound oddly innocent or maybe overly intrigued, because Yeonjun laughs all over again before pinching his cheek.
“Oh pretty, we’ll tell you if you hang out with us.”
Frowning, he shakes his head till Yeonjun lets go of his cheek. “What? That’s not how it works.”
“Well, but you’re curious, aren’t you? After weeks of trying to figure things out on your own, why not just find out from us?”
Kai squints his eyes at Yeonjun, not bothering to hide the suspicion written all over his face.
“We promise, we’re not gonna eat you. It’s just a normal hangout. You like games, right? We were planning to visit the arcade after lunch anyway,” Taehyun offers, his tone betraying a hint of hopefulness.
Kai does like games, and he has no idea if Taehyun figured it out because he'd been messing with his Switch throughout class, but he feels weak to the two men's hopeful gazes.
Okay well, if he thinks about it. It is true that he's dying to know why they're so discreet with their relationship. After all, it's a huge reason why Beomgyu and Soobin refuse to believe his theory, which has now already been confirmed to be accurate by the very couple themselves.
That's right, that's definitely the reason why he finds himself nodding and letting the pair usher him out of the now-empty lecture theatre.
Yup, he's collecting evidence, all in the name of convincing his friends that his ship is real.
No other reason.
-
Kai had no idea what to expect hanging out with Yeonjun and Taehyun for non-school-related reasons for the first time.
For one, he doesn’t know if it’s normal for him to just be walking in the middle of the couple. Shouldn’t he be on the side, or something? Unfortunately, his attempt to switch places with one of them is abruptly thwarted when Yeonjun swings an arm around his shoulder, steering him toward a familiar hotpot shop.
“This okay?” Taehyun asks as Yeonjun strides ahead to get them a booth.
“Uhm yeah.” More than okay, actually, and Kai has no idea if it’s a lucky strike or if they somehow knew that he visited this particular chain whenever he had something to celebrate.
“We saw you here with your friends a couple of times when we passed by, so we figured you like this place,” Taehyun continues nonchalantly, and Kai’s head spins. Somehow, while Kai had been sleuthing around, he hadn’t even noticed the two subjects of his investigation observing him right back. “Don’t worry about how much you should order, Yeonjun hyung will pay for it all.”
Hearing his name, Yeonjun turns around with a pout, though he’s only regarded with an eyeroll from Taehyun before they’re ushered into their booth.
Now, if Kai hadn’t already been sufficiently confused by the two men, he’s even more baffled when he realizes Yeonjun had requested a circular booth, only for them to seat Kai right in the middle of them.
It’s a strange arrangement, and he feels as if he’s quite literally breaking the couple apart.
Neither brings it up again, and both of them seem more interested in noting down Kai’s recommendations for everything – from the soup base down to the dishes he likes, and even his preferred way of mixing his condiments.
It’s not as if he had somehow assumed Taehyun and Yeonjun would be bad company, but he’d never expected himself to get comfortable around them so quickly as they emulate his way of preparing each ingredient, only to constantly pile his favorite dishes on his plate once they’re done the way he likes them.
A little too relaxed, he mindlessly pops a whole shrimp in his mouth, chewing it in its entirety, before it dawns upon him that it may be a little unusual when he finds Yeonjun and Taehyun staring at him.
“Be careful, the shell is thick,” Taehyun quips after a few seconds of observing him, and Kai can sense the underlying concern beneath his words. He manages a nod with his cheeks full, though Yeonjun continues to stare at him, clearly fascinated.
“Isn’t it sharp?”
“I’m used to it,” he mumbles, his words muffled with how stuffed his cheeks are. “I get lazy, so I just eat it all.”
It’s just a minor habit of his, but he feels oddly relieved when the other two men nod in understanding, and Yeonjun breaks into a grin before bringing his hand up to poke his cheek.
“You’re so cute, you look like a hamster.”
Kai looks away, focusing on his food, trying not to read too much into the tiny comment.
Tries not to read too much into the way Taehyun had smiled at Yeonjun’s comment before squeezing Kai’s knee gently.
-
Kai hadn’t expected them to spend so much time at the hotpot restaurant, but somewhere along their meal, they had begun asking more and more questions about Kai, as if they were genuinely trying to get to know more about him, be it his general interests or how much he misses his sister’s cats.
And two hours later, he’s surprised the other two aren’t eager to end the day to have their own couple time. If anything, they seem more enthusiastic about their arcade trip than Kai himself. Taehyun goes as far as to slip in a whole warm-up routine before a serious three-way competition of hoops.
Kai wins two rounds, much to Yeonjun’s disgruntlement, and Taehyun ends up having to drag him away from the machine after he demands another rematch.
Kai doesn’t know when he began to loosen up, but his shoulders feel much lighter, and he finds himself pointing out a game he recognizes with a little too much exuberance.
“Oh that one’s fun!”
Thankfully, neither Yeonjun nor Taehyun looks put off by his near-childish excitement upon seeing the familiar game. In fact, they look particularly intrigued as they venture closer to the eerily decorated machine. It’s also a covered booth, which enhances the mysterious element.
“Silent Hill? It looks and sounds creepy,” Yeonjun frowns, trying to stick one hand in and peer into the machine. “Ah, and it’s like extra cold inside.”
“Yeah, it’s a horror game. I’ve played it on PC a few times. There are a few editions. The arcade version’s nothing too scary, just some monsters and much more watered down from the actual games, only it has some effects like cold wind and shaking chairs, so it feels a little creepier. It’s a classic, though, the series is so fun! Ah, but it’s more of the story that's fun, and sadly the arcade version doesn’t have any of those,” he explains, and it only occurs to him that he’d just rattled on about things Taehyun and Yeonjun probably don’t give a fuck about.
But he’s surprised to find the pair listening with rapt attention. In fact, the moment he’s done talking, Taehyun pokes his head inside the booth before sliding back out with determination in his eyes.
“Well, let’s play it then, since Kai likes it. You’ll probably need to hold Yeonjun’s hand though, he gets freaked out by everything.”
“Hey! You’re just as much of a scaredy cat as I am,” Yeonjun argues vehemently, and Kai has no idea what to really feel. For one, they’d just listened to him nerd out without interrupting or making fun of him, and next, had Taehyun just asked him to hold Yeonjun’s hand?
Kai isn’t too familiar with the general consensus on platonic handholding. Are couples usually okay with an outsider holding their partner’s hand? Or is Kai simply a prude who gets nervous about fucking handholding?
He shakes his head, racking his brains for some sort of way to weasel his way out of this.
“Ah, the game is just for a maximum of two players. I’ve played it before, so you guys can try it.”
“What? Why would we do that?” Taehyun raises an eyebrow, and for a moment, Kai has no idea how to respond. “You’re so excited just talking about it. Of course, you have to be part of it.”
“We’re also two scaredy cats so…” Yeonjun adds with a grin, before Taehyun loops their arms together and pulls Kai into the booth. Yeonjun trails right after, and before Kai can protest, they’re squished into the small booth with him sandwiched between the couple again.
He really tries to get a grip, but his mind races a mile a minute when he registers how Taehyun’s arms are still locked with his and both men are tightly pressed against his sides. The booth was totally not meant to fit three grown men.
“Uhm I–”
“You should be in the middle, since you’re the only one who knows the game and can guide us,” Taehyun explains, his canines reflecting a myriad of colors as the graphics on the screen shift every few seconds.
“Yup, and also because we’re both scaredy cats, like I said. We’re gonna be useless without you. Be ready to take our guns anytime we call it quits.”
Taehyun slots a few coins into the machine, and Yeonjun jumps once the idle machine comes to life, its default slideshow being interrupted by a loud introduction.
Yeonjun presses himself closer, and Kai’s brain short-circuits so severely, he barely processes Taehyun’s questions about the gameplay.
“Earth to Kai,” Taehyun sings, and this time, he’s even closer, his voice practically reverberating by his ear.
With how cold the booth is, as gusts of cool wind begin to blow from the little vents behind them, Kai can literally feel Taehyun’s hot breath fanning his skin.
“Sorry, the sound effects are just too loud,” he adds, though he doesn’t seem at all conscious about the fact that Kai’s three seconds away from a breakdown.
“Uhm, yeah,” Kai mutters, though he isn’t sure anyone catches it with how loud the game’s sound effects are.
“You’ve gotta help us out here, it’s so creepy,” Yeonjun whines as Kai uses the gun on Taehyun’s side to advance through the introduction slides till the countdown timer starts.
“Well uhm, it’s simple, just shoot the monsters on your half of the screen.”
Another gust of icy wind bursts in through the vents and while both Taehyun and Yeonjun yelp and squeeze impossibly closer against Kai, Kai himself is completely gripped by the excessive skin-to-skin contact, he feels as if he’s about to combust into flames.
But Yeonjun lets out a bloodcurdling scream the moment the first monster pops out, and Kai’s busy trying to steer them both in the right direction. Even Taehyun’s typical calmer demeanor has cracked. In place of his usual stoic expression sits his beautifully parted lips, while his eyes widen with wonder as he tries to navigate the map.
He lets out a little nervous giggle and tiny yelp each time he suffers a hit or barely dodges a creature, and Kai’s momentarily gripped, the game effects droning into white noise.
“Oh no no no! I’m dying!” Yeonjun screams again when a monster swipes at him, their screen flashing a dangerous red, and Kai turns to him quickly, acting on instinct to help steer his aim.
It only sinks in that he has his hand wrapped around Yeonjun’s to help maneuver his gun after the round is finally cleared successfully.
He freezes, realizing he’s in a precarious situation.
Here he has his hands wrapped around a taken man’s and right on his other side sits that very man’s boyfriend.
Finally regaining his composure, he lets go of Yeonjun’s hand abruptly before placing them awkwardly on his own lap.
It takes another five awkward seconds for the next level to load, before the couple jumps right back into their shenanigans, screaming and screeching while begging Kai to save them.
Too unnerved by the dangerous thoughts that had flitted past his mind just moments ago, Kai tries to focus on the game, shuttling between the two to help them.
The next few levels go exactly like this, till Taehyun eventually gives up and hands the gun to Kai fully, though it’s even more difficult for Kai to ignore the way he scoots closer, clinging to his arm and practically burying his face behind his shoulder.
Kai can barely focus on the game, too hyperaware of the two men glued to his side, and he supposes that this time, his distraction is his lifesaver, because they end up failing to pass the final level with how frazzled Kai is. It’s only with reluctance that Yeonjun and Taehyun get up to exit the booth, finally freeing him from his misery.
By now, Kai’s heart is pounding so hard, he fears the other two men would be able to hear it even over the cacophony of blaring noises from the various machines around. If they do notice how strangely quiet Kai has gotten, they don’t say it. Instead, Yeonjun begins to tease Taehyun for being so scared, he couldn’t continue playing the game, while the man doubles down on his boyfriend by mimicking his screams from earlier on.
It’s an adorable sight, really, and Kai finds himself smiling at the exchange, his heart calming down a little.
But that bubble of safety is soon popped when the spotlight is shifted to him once again.
“Wait, Kai. Isn’t that your favorite Pokemon?”
Kai looks in the direction Yeonjun’s looking at, and once again, he’s flooded with questions, even more so when Taehyun strides forward nonchalantly to check out the claw machine.
“Oh! Glaceon’s right there, buried below. The blue one,” he points out to Yeonjun before surveying the machine. “Hmm. We’ll at least have to catch these four on top to clear the path.”
Kai feels his mind moving a little sluggishly as Yeonjun and Taehyun begin a serious discussion on their strategy to actually claw their way down to the Glaceon buried at the bottom of the pile.
“How did–” Kai stops himself when the couple turns around at the same time to look at him, his voice trailing off weakly. “How did you guys know…”
“Oh. How did we know you liked Glaceon?” Taehyun tilts his head with a small smile. “We saw you struggle to move a giant Glaceon plush to the dorms when you first moved in. In case you didn’t know, we used to stay in the dorms till last semester.”
“That was our first impression of you, by the way,” Yeonjun quips, his expression turning fond, and Kai rummages through his brain to no avail.
“When did that happen?”
“Hmm… Like two years ago? And then we started sharing some classes with you once classes started, so that was nice,” Taehyun elaborates.
“That long?!”
Yeonjun laughs, his eyes crinkling fondly. “Let’s just say we noticed you even before you started getting invested in figuring out whether we were dating.”
They both turn back to the machine, resuming their analysis of their strategy. Meanwhile, Kai’s left rooted to the spot, his heart beginning to pick up its pace once again.
Only after he returns to his dorm with six Eeveelution plushies in his arms does he realize Yeonjun and Taehyun never did tell him why they had been hiding their relationship.
-
“Why are there so many Eevees on your bed?”
Kai buries his face deeper under his own giant Glaceon, ignoring Soobin’s probing as he hovers over his bed after shutting their door. After his outing with Taehyun and Yeonjun, he’d elected to rot in bed for the next few hours while his mind ran rampant.
“Oh two Umbreons? Can I have one? I don’t have a gift for my nephew’s birthday next week yet.”
This time, Kai shoots up from beneath his pile, snatching the Umbreon from Soobin who stares at him with wide eyes.
“O…kay. Got it. Not taking it.”
“I-I uh– I just uhm. I’ll get something else for your nephew.”
Soobin raises an eyebrow, clearly scrutinizing him. Kai doesn’t dare to make a peep, knowing his roommate slash best friend would read him like a book. Soobin continues staring at him unabashedly anyway, and Kai picks at the Umbreon plushie, pinching its paw and staring into its dark, pretty eyes.
“Does this have something to do with your date with Yeonjun and Taehyun? Did they buy you all these and you’re now guarding it with your life?” There’s a mixture of intrigue and amusement in Soobin’s voice and Kai is horrified to hear his outing interpreted this way.
“Okay first of all, it was an outing. Second, who told you about it? And third no! They well- well, they somehow knew I liked Glaceon which was at the bottom of the pile so they caught everything in the way so we could get it.”
By the time he’s done with his overly defensive and unnecessarily detailed explanation, he’s panting a little, his ears heating up.
Meanwhile Soobin blinks, eyes darting between the plushies before they land back on Kai.
“Well, okay. Not a date. Just an outing. Hao and I happened to be at the same Haidilao you guys were at but I didn’t want to interrupt, so we left after a while. That’s how I knew,” he says slowly, and Kai feels like a kid.
It isn’t as if anything bad had happened. He wanted to prove that Taehyun and Yeonjun had been dating in secret, got his answer with a bonus free meal and a whole lot of plushies out of it. And that should be the end of it. He just can’t understand why his heart is throbbing like this.
Maybe it’s simply guilt, because he can’t deny the number of times he felt that vague sense of yearning threaten to burst from the pits of his stomach and claw its way out.
These are two men in love. Why is his heart wilfully getting shaken up by two people who are already in love with each other?
“Kai?”
Soobin’s voice yanks him from his thoughts and he jerks up, looking at his friend with wide eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Uhm. Yeah. Yeah, I guess.”
Soobin sighs before moving his plushies aside to crawl into his mattress. “So, do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“Maybe about what happened? If you want to, I mean. I’m curious but you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready.”
Kai shakes his head. It’s not supposed to be that big of a deal and he tells Soobin exactly that. “They just said they were sorry for messing with me at the gym and wanted to hang out to get to know me better. Which… by the way. I was right. They’re dating.”
“You don’t seem particularly enthused that your favorite ship turned out to be real,” Soobin teases, though his tone remains gentle and Kai wishes he weren’t that nice, because he’s a bad person for harboring thoughts about the two guys who have been nice and well… friendly to him this entire day.
“I uh– I am,” he fibs, and Soobin raises an eyebrow, prompting him to sigh. “I’m just– I just, I just don’t know why they’re hanging out with me like that.”
“Like what?”
“They’re… touchy? Affectionate, maybe? And I have no idea why, but they somehow managed to make me feel comfortable, so seen, and so heard, even though it’s technically our first time hanging out without schoolwork as a pretext. It’s bad, because I couldn’t help but read into it, though they were just being friendly. And they’re… they’re so in sync, you know? Maybe it’s because it’s my first time seeing them interact so much, but they know each other so well, it’s almost like they can complete each other’s sentences.”
Soobin nods slowly. “Okay, and how did that make you feel?”
“I…” Kai tries his best. Tries to think hard. But his head is but a jumbled mess of confused thoughts. “I’m just confused.”
“Hm. Do you perhaps feel jealous?”
Jealous? That’s not quite the word, especially not when seeing Taehyun and Yeonjun bickering was possibly the cutest thing ever.
“I don’t know what I feel, but… no. I don’t think I was jealous.”
“Okay, then what is it that you feel?”
Yearning.
Kai draws a sharp breath, feeling his suppressed desire threaten to burst from the seams the closer he comes to acknowledging it.
But he can’t. It’s unfair. He’s been a terrible person. How could he think of possibly liking an attached couple? Where would he even fit in all of this? After how kind and warm they had been to him? He couldn’t possibly do that.
“Kai?” There’s sympathy in his voice, and Kai knows that Soobin’s figured out his conundrum.
“No! No, Soobin hyung. Please don’t say it,” he cuts in, his voice almost feeble despite the urgency. “If you say it, it makes it real, and it makes me a bad person.”
“It doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s normal for us to be attracted to people who can bring us comfort. You haven't done anything wrong or anything that they didn't invite you to do with them, no? Besides, from what I heard from you and what I observed. They seem to really like you too.”
“They’re just being friendly! How can I– They’re together, hyung! I can’t take advantage of their friendliness like that!” He feels his heartbeat begin to accelerate as he grows increasingly worked up.
This time, Soobin furrows his eyebrows. “How are you taking advantage of their friendliness if they’re the ones who are flirting with you and asking to spend time with you? I saw you seated between them while they were literally piling food on your plate and poking your cheeks. That’s why I didn’t want to interrupt, because you guys were in your little blissful bubble.”
Seated between them.
Between them.
It all clicks, and Kai isn’t sure whether he should feel sad about connecting the dots.
“I got it, Soobin hyung,” he whispers and he’s regarded with an incredulous stare, as if Soobin’s already written off what he’s about to say as utter nonsense.
“They’re dating secretly, and maybe I don’t know why yet, but it seems important to them that they keep it a secret.”
Bafflement glosses all over Soobin’s face. “Okay? What does that have to do with what we’re talking about?”
“Me. I’m the third person in the group. The extra person there to take the attention off them, so they can continue to spend time together without people easily figuring out that they’re a couple.”
The realisation makes more sense to him each second he processes it, and he tries to ignore the pang that shoots up his chest as it sinks in.
“Kai, are you even listening to yourself? Why would they do that?” The disbelief in Soobin’s voice isn’t welcome, not when it would only serve to make useless hope bloom unnecessarily in his heart.
“Because I’m the only one who figured out they’re dating?”
Kai knows that he can get stubborn, and Soobin groaning in frustration conveys all his friends’ disapproval.
“Hyung, shush–” he clutches an Umbreon to his chest, shutting his eyes obstinately. “I’m fine.”
“Okay, fine. If your stupid theory is right, which definitely isn’t the case, by the way, what are you going to do now if they approach you again?”
Kai has no idea. He truly doesn’t, but he also doesn’t think he could willingly turn down an opportunity to spend time with Taehyun and Yeonjun again, even though they’d only properly hung out once as a trio.
“It’s whatever.”
Soobin sighs, recognizing the note of finality in Kai’s voice.
“Fine, but I’m just saying, they look like they’re the ones who have been interested in you and you're just complicating things and belittling yourself.”
Kai turns to squeeze his way against the wall, refusing to listen to Soobin again.
Refusing to be convinced otherwise.
-
For all the nonchalance he hoped to regard Yeonjun and Taehyun with, the situation turns a little trickier when he starts to feel his skin itch each time he thinks about the other two guys. He considers the possibility that they just wanted to eat that day without arousing any suspicion. That must be it.
But he genuinely doesn’t know what to think when he arrives at his next shared lecture with the pair and sits at the most inconspicuous spot, only for Taehyun to plop down beside him after a few minutes.
He swears his heart stutters when Yeonjun joins him on his other side, greeting him with a head pat.
Frozen, Kai doesn’t move an inch, trying to calm his racing heart which only bursts into a rapid sprint when Taehyun stretches his limbs before tipping his head against his shoulder. Flustered, he turns to Yeonjun, who pinches his cheek with a grin.
“He had a long seminar earlier,” Yeonjun supplies helpfully, completely oblivious to the fact that Kai has no idea what to do. He can’t even move, feeling as if a cat had just loafed on his lap and it’d be a sin for him to move away.
“I just had the longest seminar ever!” Taehyun repeats, prompting Yeonjun to grumble about how that was exactly what he’d just said.
“Uhm– Don’t you– Don’t you guys want to–” he gestures futilely, looking and feeling massively stupid. “Like, sit together?”
“We are sitting together,” Taehyun replies, not even opening his eyes as he rests on Kai’s shoulder.
“Yup, we’re right where we want to be. Oh, or–” Yeonjun hesitates for a moment. “Do you not feel comfortable with us sitting with you?”
Kai shakes his head slowly.
“Yay, that’s good,” Yeonjun cheers, flashing him a toothy and slightly goofy grin. “Ah, and.. If you’re free after this, maybe we can study in the library? There’s an assignment due next week for this class. We could work on it together.”
It’s true, and Kai has unfortunately gotten zero work done because of how preoccupied he has been with his thoughts.
“You guys can work on it,” Taehyun corrects, nuzzling closer to Kai’s throat. “I submitted mine last night. Got started earlier for fun.”
“Fine, genius,” Yeonjun clicks his tongue before looking back at Kai. “He’ll just nap in the library while we work. Is that okay?”
Kai looks to both his sides, and the theory he’d proposed to Soobin actually seems to fall into place. He’s in the middle again, with both Taehyun and Yeonjun being handsy and touchy with him, rather than each other, yet he can’t stop himself from agreeing.
Can’t stop himself from noticing the way Yeonjun beams, while a small smile appears on Taehyun’s lips even with his eyes shut.
He shakes his head though he doesn’t make any effort to push Taehyun away as he pretends to be occupied with setting up his laptop.
“Oh right,” Taehyun says suddenly before getting up and stretching his arms and neck. Kai tries not to miss the little fluffy ball of warmth nestled at the crook of his neck just moments ago. “Before we forget, we wanted to ask you if you’d be free this Saturday.”
“Huh?”
“Yeonjun’s dance team won a competition last week, and they’re having a celebratory party on Saturday. It’s nothing too wild, just the members of the dance team and their guests with free food, some booze, which you don’t have to drink at all, I promise. We just wanted to ask if you’d like to join us.”
And there it is again, the hopeful lilt in his voice coupled with the prettiest grin. But he grows self-conscious all over again. If it was Yeonjun’s celebration, what would he be there for? As yet another distraction? Did Yeonjun’s team not know of his relationship with Taehyun either?
“I– What... uhm what business would I have there?” He tries his best to keep his voice steady, though the embarrassing stuttering is hard to hide.
“Uhm, as my plus ones? You both,” Yeonjun adds, his cheerful demeanor replaced with a tinge of concern.
“So you guys need me there?” As an extra person to help hide your relationship for whatever reason. He doesn’t voice those words, trying not to appear too affected.
Taehyun tilts his head, as if he’s trying to read Kai’s expression. Meanwhile, Kai’s deathly afraid of what he might see. “We want you there. In case we haven’t made it clear. We like being around you. But you don’t have to say yes. It’s just… It’s just an offer.”
Uncertainty glazes over Taehyun’s features, and he exchanges a look with Yeonjun. But Kai genuinely doesn’t want to keep trying to decipher what each glance, each touch, or even each invitation means.
Yeonjun squeezes his hand gently, not removing it, and Kai dares not look up at him.
“Does our invitation make you uncomfortable? We promise, it’s not our intention–”
“It’s fine. I’ll think about it,” he says quickly, thanking the gods when the lecturer happens to step in at that exact moment, so he can properly avert his gaze.
“Okay, but it’s really just an offer. You can say no. We won’t be mad or upset,” Taehyun assures, though Kai’s more fixated on the fact that Yeonjun had referred to both him and Taehyun as his plus ones.
He just isn’t sure if he’s getting way too emotionally invested in this little dance with two people who are already in love with each other.
-
Against his better judgment, Kai decides to attend the party.
Soobin seems to have filled Beomgyu in on the situation, because his friend comes over to his dorm with no questions asked after Kai asks for his help to help him prepare for the party.
But his roommate is still somewhat annoyed at him, which is something Kai doesn’t yet want to address, and he’d made himself scarce under the pretext of staying over with his boyfriend for the weekend. There’s a tiny rift between them now, but Kai’s just as stubborn as his best friend is, leaving Beomgyu awkwardly hanging in the middle.
It’d rarely been this case, with Kai often being the one playing the mediator whenever his two friends had big arguments over the smallest of things. So it explains why Beomgyu is oddly quiet as he helps Kai put on some light makeup, so he wouldn’t feel out of place in a setting he isn’t familiar with.
It sends his skin prickling. He hadn’t meant to upset his friends because of his bout of obstinacy, and his self-control slips away after Beomgyu spends a drawn-out ten minutes putting on some eyeshadow and highlighter on his face.
“Did Soobin complain about me to you?” his words come out a little icier, a little more vulnerable than he’d planned, and his stomach twists as Beomgyu freezes before he puts the makeup brush down on the table beside them.
“He told me what happened, but no, he isn’t mad at you, in case you misunderstood.”
Kai feels his eyes prick, especially when all his dilemmas are basically rolled into a giant, complicated, and messy ball.
“But he’s frustrated with me.”
“Maybe. But you know how he is, he gets upset when you don’t put yourself first or when you don’t know your worth.”
“It’s different this time, Beomgyu hyung. I’m the bad guy here. I shouldn’t put myself first when it means I’m being selfish and ruining things.”
Beomgyu purses his lips. “They’re the ones flirting with you and inviting you to things, you’re not the bad guy. If anything, they should be the ones who should be transparent with you and step back if their intention isn’t to pursue you.”
“Pursue me?! No way hyung, they’re just comfortable around me since I know their secret. You’re reading this all wrong and– And flirting’s subjective. You know me,” he giggles nervously, trying to ignore the way his sinuses sour, and it comes out all dry and wrong. “I’ve hardly dated. Chances are, I’m the one overthinking and finding normal actions heart-fluttering.”
Beomgyu casts the Eevee plushes laid out on the bed a pointed look, though he doesn’t make any snide comment like he typically would. It must be bad if both Soobin and Beomgyu are completely dropping their habit of teasing Kai. It must be bad, and Kai feels even antsier than he already did.
“Okay, if you think having a crush on both of them is wrong, then why are you attending this party?”
“Because that’s what I’m there for! To– To be the red herring so they can keep their relationship under wraps.”
This time, Beomgyu doesn’t conceal his frown. “And till now, you still have no idea why they were so secretive about their relationship? Kai, this doesn’t sound right. Your theory too. It’s not adding up.”
“What’s not adding up?”
“Well, for one, it’s quite clear to me that they’re pursuing you together. I just don’t know what their end goal is, and that means you should talk to them. You’re not some sort of tool or temporary plaything and you need to convey that to them.”
Icy fear washes over Kai.
Temporary plaything.
Maybe Soobin’s right, maybe his previous theory had been utter bullshit, and maybe this is it. This is what he is – a temporary, new and interesting plaything to spice up Taehyun and Yeonjun’s relationship.
“Is that what this is?” he whispers, and Beomgyu pauses, paling like he’d just said the wrong thing.
“What?”
“I’m just a temporary plaything?”
Beomgyu pinches his nosebridge, sighing. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. We don’t know that, or rather, I wouldn’t know it. Because I don’t know them personally and how they are, and I’m not the one who’s been spending time with them. Sincerity is better felt than said or assumed.”
“I’m not trying to nag at you, but you should really talk to them and clear all your doubts. Maybe they’re just as unsure, maybe they just aren’t sure how to navigate this with you. It’s just clear to me that they’re interested in you.”
“Kai, talk to them. If they really like you the same way, they’d understand your fears, and if they’re not sincere about this, then we nip it by the bud before you fall any deeper.”
As if he hadn’t been troubled enough, Beomgyu just brought up another devastating possibility.
The only problem is that Kai’s starting to realize that he might already have fallen too fast and too deep.
-
Kai picks at his sleeve, suddenly feeling out of place as he waits at the entrance of his dorm building, where Yeonjun and Taehyun said they’d pick him up.
He’d shooed Beomgyu away earlier, promising to talk to the couple, but as he watches a black car pull up in front of him, all the words he’d been scrambling to put together disappear into thin air the moment Taehyun steps out from the backseat. There’s a bright smile on his face, and he’s wrapped up in a form-fitting black sheer top and culottes which accentuates his toned waist. Kai instantly feels underdressed in his sweater and flare jeans.
But Taehyun moves forward to hug Kai while Yeonjun, too, pokes his head out of the car window, and suddenly, all he wants is to prolong all of this. Perhaps it’s temporary, and they’d soon grow bored of him, but for now, all Kai can think about is how he wants to bask in their presence for as long as he can, even if it kills him inside.
“Hi Kai. Oh–” Taehyun pauses, his gaze clearly raking Kai’s body. “You look amazing.”
He chokes, not even managing to compliment Taehyun back, and barely mustering a ‘thank you’.
But their little moment is interrupted by Yeonjun yelling.
“Move it perv, I wanna see him too!”
Kai blushes furiously, hiding his face with his sleeves on instinct, prompting Taehyun to cuss at his boyfriend before leading him to the car.
“Do you want to sit in front? Or Yeonjun will complain that I’m hogging you again.”
The words send another wave of heat to his cheeks and ears. “I-I Anything is fine!”
Blinking slowly, Taehyun casts him a warm smile. “Don’t be so nervous, it’s just us.”
Exactly, Kai wants to say, but he holds his tongue, forcing a smile as Taehyun pulls him to the car so he can climb into the passenger’s seat.
It’s hard to ignore the way Yeonjun’s lips part as he stares at him once he’s settled in, almost as if he’s as enamored by Kai as he is with them.
But perhaps, it’s the hardest to stuff down the impending knowledge that this might disappear anytime.
-
It’s been eons since Kai attended a party, the last one being some mandatory orientation programme when he entered college. Thinking back, that had been where he met Soobin and Beomgyu, who had gone on to become his closest friends while he was studying here, away from his family.
But the current situation is totally different, and he feels too perceived the moment they arrive.
Seeming to sense his unease, Taehyun interlaces their fingers before locking their arms together. Meanwhile, Yeonjun walks ahead of them, greeting his crewmates. It takes a moment for Kai to register the possessiveness underlying Taehyun’s touch, and he burns even hotter, nodding meekly as a few familiar faces come up to say hi.
He wonders how many of such events Yeonjun and Taehyun had attended together if they’d been so discreet with their relationship. Perhaps, they’d often swapped around their additional third person, and Kai’s simply one of their many.
“Is it too crowded here?” Taehyun asks, tiptoeing so he can speak directly in his ear over the loud music.
Not wanting to ruin the mood, Kai shakes his head.
“Shall we dance then? While Yeonjun gets us drinks? He'll join us when he's back.”
Kai's heart begins thudding more rapidly now, and he stutters out an ‘okay’, prompting Taehyun to grin and pull him to a space he supposes has been informally demarcated as the dancefloor.
The crowd isn't massive, with pockets of people immersed in their own bubbles, but Kai doesn't quite know how to dance, and he begins flushing again, this time in embarrassment.
He ends up pressed against Taehyun as he moves awkwardly to the beat till the other man lets go of him to flick his hair away. In one fluid motion, Taehyun lets his hands glide down Kai's sides to rest on his hips.
“Is this okay?” Taehyun whispers as he leans in way too close for Kai to be normal.
“Hm.”
Chuckling lowly, Taehyun begins to sway them to the rhythm, pressing closer till their foreheads knock against each other.
“You can hold my waist too, if you want.”
Kai heeds his words obediently, and his breath hitches when he feels another pair of hands snake around his own waist from behind.
It should be an awkward position, given how he’s taller than both Taehyun and Yeonjun, but somehow, Taehyun tilts his head, slotting his lips against Kai’s neck. Meanwhile, Yeonjun moves in tandem, pressing himself against Kai’s back and hooking his chin on his shoulder.
And for the first time, despite his anxieties, Kai feels as if he finally fits.
As if he finally belongs.
He wants to drown in this forever, wants to melt as Taehyun begins to trail kisses up his nape, and Yeonjun ends up swiveling his hips to the music, grinding sensually against him.
The music’s largely forgotten now, and all Kai can hear is the deafening roar of blood in his ears, rivaling Yeonjun’s hot breath against his skin.
But Taehyun kisses up his jaw, and Kai’s body seizes in anticipation as the other man inches his way up.
There’s a moment when time seems to stop, and their gazes lock.
A very brief moment where Kai feels every nerve in his body on fire as he’s completely pried open and laid bare just by Taehyun’s hungry gaze.
His eyelids flutter shut, and from then on, it’s as if he’s tossed a match carelessly into dry hay, except he’s the one completely consumed and trapped between two unrelenting bodies as Taehyun licks into his mouth, hot, wet, relentless.
It’s as if all considerations have left him alone ever so briefly, and he lets himself float freely, gasping against Taehyun’s lips when Yeonjun begins to leave wet, open-mouthed kisses on his neck.
He must be making a scene, his nails practically digging into Taehyun’s sides, but neither man seems to mind. It’s Kai who feels antsy and needy, though, and all sense of shame leaves him as he pushes back against Yeonjun.
It’s a subtle hint, a shy one that he’s unsure would even reach either man, but Yeonjun draws a sharp breath from behind him.
Yet again, the two men move like clockwork, with Taehyun pulling away just as Yeonjun whispers in Kai’s ear, his voice low and heavy with barely concealed desire.
“Should we get out of here?”
-
Kai’s never been one who trusts others easily. Not with his body, and neither with his heart. It takes a lot to worm one’s way into his heart, and it’d taken more than a year of daily interactions for him to get comfortable enough around Beomgyu and Soobin for them to be as close as they are now.
So Kai doesn’t know how Taehyun and Yeonjun managed to break through his walls in such a short time, he finds himself carelessly shoving his fears and uncertainty aside to move pliantly as they lead him into their apartment.
It goes beyond lust, he thinks, as he’s knocked onto the mattress and Yeonjun climbs on top of him to tug at his sweater.
“This okay?” he asks, tone patient despite the underlying urgency.
The attraction is there, and he’s undeniably charmed by the two men’s several gestures. But maybe he’s delusional, maybe he’s a fool, but the patience and respect he’s regarded with is what makes him truly weak.
And he’s enamored enough to nod, to allow Yeonjun and Taehyun to strip him completely bare, to fall further as the pair does the same before pressing themselves up against him again.
“Oh, you’re so pretty everywhere,” Taehyun breathes, peppering kisses along his chest and tummy as if he’s simply starstruck – as if he has no idea how Kai’s the one starstruck by their mere presence.
There are hands on him, more than he’s used to, more than he’s ever allowed to really feel him, and Taehyun and Yeonjun are careful with the vulnerability vested, kissing him all over, leaving feather-like touches along his skin, before Taehyun finally takes him in his mouth.
A strangled moan leaves his lips, and his toes curl.
Everything’s too hot.
A jolt shoots right up his spine, and he arches his back with the wet friction he’s granted.
Another pair of hands circles his torso, pinning him back down in place while brushing his sensitive chest and god, Kai can feel Yeonjun. Can feel how hard he is just from watching Taehyun blow him. Can feel every twitch of his body and hear every sharp breath he takes.
Can feel how affected Yeonjun is from the mere experience.
They’re moving fast, he’s aware, especially when the nagging fear that this might just be a one-time thing or nothing more than just sex keeps bothering him. He’s never been one for one-night stands, but god, does he want this to last so he can keep basking in Yeonjun and Taehyun’s attention as if he belonged.
As if he were truly loved.
“Kai, darling, is it too much?”
It takes a moment for Kai to register the concern leaking into Yeonjun’s cadence and another long moment for him to realize that Taehyun’s stopped his ministrations as well, now staring up at him with worry.
Only then does he notice how damp his cheeks are.
“Darling?”
“I’m okay, it’s perfect. Just feels too good.” He isn’t lying. He knows he means every word from the bottom of his heart, even though he’s still plagued by his worries.
“Oh love, we can take it slower. Just let us make you feel good,” Yeonjun continues, his voice so gentle, Kai wants to cry all over again.
He doesn’t want to just feel good, he wants to feel like he’s the only one who could ever fit with the two of them. He wants to feel loved.
“This is perfect,” he repeats, and Taehyun’s cautious expression dissolves into something soft and fond.
“Okay, how do you want us to continue?”
Kai freezes, his sluggish mind slow to react. “How?”
“Yeah, darling, this is all about you,” Yeonjun mutters in his ear, rubbing his bare stomach gently. His hand is comfortably warm, and Kai tries not to get distracted.
“I want you both but I… I don’t want to think,” he mutters, and somehow, despite how vague his words are, Taehyun and Yeonjun seem to get it with just a single glance exchanged.
This time, Kai truly lets go completely, letting bliss and pleasure take over all of him as he’s maneuvered onto his knees, his back arching as he leans against Taehyun for support while Yeonjun eats him out as if he has all the time in the world.
Everything’s hazy, and he goes boneless in Taehyun’s grip, simply moaning and gasping against his lips as he’s opened up inch by inch, brought to the edge and yanked right back each time Yeonjun pulls away.
He needs so much, and when Yeonjun finally enters him from behind, the pressure between his legs is numbingly good, he can’t help but crave for more. Can’t stop himself from pushing back greedily.
He’s greedy, he’s aware, and he’s greedy enough to reach for Taehyun’s neglected length, dipping down to impulsively take it into his mouth messily.
“Hah– Kai you don’t have to…” Taehyun’s sentence is interrupted with an involuntary groan, and it’s unsurprising how it only fuels his desire to make the other man feel even better.
He bobs his head again, moaning around Taehyun’s length as he’s roughly pounded from behind. In this position, it’s as if he’s allowing Taehyun to get off to the view of Kai getting railed by his boyfriend, while Yeonjun’s granted the equally dirty view of Kai choking on Taehyun’s length at the very same time.
It fills Kai up with incomparable satisfaction.
Maybe this could be temporary, maybe this doesn’t mean anything more to the other two men, but at least for now, Kai’s the one making them groan and buck their hips just as needily.
Kai’s the one who clenches tight enough to send Yeonjun spilling deep inside him with a punctuated jerk of his hips.
“Fuck– Kai fuck–” Yeonjun groans, pressing Kai down as he jerks his hips impossibly deeper.
Taehyun’s cock slips from his lips as he’s pinned to the mattress. A shame. A real shame. Meanwhile, his mind is left hazy, whines escaping his lips when he registers Yeonjun pulling out too. He hasn’t come yet, and all he wants is to be filled to the brim and taken apart once again.
“No– N-No no!”
“It’s okay, love,” Taehyun hushes him, his voice grounding and firm against the dangerous concoctions of emotions spilling haphazardly in Kai’s head.
“Up you go,” he hears Yeonjun pant weakly from behind as he pushes him up till he’s seated on Taehyun’s lap. This time, Kai snatches the reins, reaching behind him blindly till he finds Taehyun’s pulsing cock and guides it to his sopping entrance before dipping down.
But that’s about as far as he gets, what with his legs going weak from the pressure and the mere dirtiness of the act.
“Tyun– Tyunnie,” he pants, trying to wrap his arms around Taehyun’s frame. “Need– ah, please.”
He’ll probably cringe later when his sex-addled haze has subsided and he recalls what sort of a mess he’s being, but for now, he’s thankful that Taehyun delivers everything he asks for enthusiastically as he bucks his hips up so they’re practically bouncing on the mattress.
Kai can feel the other man deep in his guts, his length spearing him open and leaving Yeonjun’s cum shoved further inside with each thrust and leaking out just as quickly each time he bounces.
“Ah– Ah, Taehyun I’m–” Black dots fill Kai’s vision, and his legs are rendered completely weak as his orgasm wracks through his body.
He barely registers Taehyun filling him up with his own seed, his senses completely numb as pleasure washes over him.
Coughing, he pants rapidly, struggling to breathe and get himself together. He doesn’t know why he’s crying so much, if it’s simply from the pleasure, or from the sheer fear that he’s fallen too deep and is about to be shoved away very soon.
He has so many questions, so many unanswered questions and so many unacknowledged feelings.
He’s fallen for Yeonjun and Taehyun. He truly has, and it’s crystal clear. Maybe it started as something silly and easy to brush off, maybe he had even been wrong for doubting that they were interested in him, but it doesn’t mean that he knows what this is. Most of all, he’s afraid to find out.
Afraid to find out that all of this might have just been an exciting interlude for the couple.
Gentle hands find their way to caress his cheeks, to wipe the tears staining his cheeks, to stroke his chest and comfort him with gentle nothings.
Kai heeds their gentle instructions and promises this is where he must draw the line.
-
omega x omega x enigma squad
guys can you come get me?
Sent 2.43am
bEomgyu
??
are you safe?
wru I’ll get a taxi down
Received 2.43am
chOi sOObin
loc
Received 2.44am
am safe
just wanna go home
[Tracked Location]
Sent 2.45am
chOi sOObin
k borrowed hao’s car
omw eta 10
Received 2.46am
bEomgyu
okok will meet u guys at ur dorm
Received 2.46am
thanks guys
Sent 2.47am
-
The ride back is quiet, and Soobin had pulled up a couple of blocks away from Taehyun and Yeonjun’s apartment within ten minutes, before guiding Kai into the vehicle.
Through it all, he doesn’t press Kai for any explanation, and he’s grateful for it.
Beomgyu meets them at their dorm as he’d promised, and once again, he feels immensely sorry for calling them out at such a late hour, though he allows them to get him a new set of clothes and help remove some remnants of makeup he’d missed.
“You came back freshly showered,” Beomgyu comments softly after they’ve pulled both Soobin and Kai’s mattresses to the ground to form a larger bed big enough for all three of them.
He picks at Kai’s fringe, smoothing the strands down mindlessly.
“I slept with them,” Kai responds, his words so foreign and unlike him. “I was caught in the moment and slept with them.”
“And they sent you out alone?!” Soobin questions, clearly trying but failing to keep his voice calm.
“No no, they were the best, the sweetest, they helped shower me and clean me up. Taehyun was in the shower and I told Yeonjun I wanted hot cocoa. Then I ran out while they were both preoccupied.”
“Are they not going crazy looking for you?”
Kai shakes his head. “I texted them that I headed back. I also told them not to look for me.”
His friends don’t interrupt his words, though their confusion is blatant.
“Tonight was amazing,” he says simply, meaning every single word with all his heart. “Every single minute I spent with them has been lovely, honestly.”
“But that’s what I’m terrified of. I don’t understand what they want from me, why such a wonderful, perfect couple would even take an interest in me. Why they would shower me with affection the way they keep doing, and when they’d be done with that. That’s why I conjured those crazy theories to avoid needing to deal with it. Because they were happy without me, and once they’ve had their fun, where would I even fit in all of this?”
He’s said a lot, and for once, he finally feels a little more relieved after being honest about his insecurities instead of trying to conceal them under ridiculous theories and silly excuses.
Beomgyu reaches over to pat his head. “Oh Kai, I’m sorry I wasn’t careful with my words, I didn’t mean to add to your insecurity. I was just hoping you would talk to them.”
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. You were just helping, but… I didn't. I didn't talk to them,” Kai mutters, feeling guilty. “I was afraid to hear what they would have to say. I know running away’s stupid, but I'm terrified they’d tell me that I misunderstood, and they’re simply looking for something to spice up their relationship.”
“That’s valid,” Soobin assures, and the lingering ‘but’ hangs in the air for a moment. “Well, I mean, your fear is valid. I’m sorry for not understanding your insecurities and even getting annoyed with you. But it frustrated me that you kept sabotaging yourself.”
Kai pauses, not understanding Soobin’s words fully. “What?”
“From the start, I guess. When you came up with the theory that they’re secretly dating so you wouldn’t have to face the fact that you’re attracted to two people you somehow think are out of your league. And when they approached you, you convinced yourself they only wanted to hang out with you so they could maintain their secret relationship. And now, with them blatantly expressing their attraction towards you, you think you’re just a plaything. Because you somehow think that you aren’t worth their attention, even if they put in their all to try and prove otherwise to you.”
Kai’s never liked being psychoanalyzed, but somehow, Soobin’s voice is filled with so much sincere concern, each word drives its way into his head as he processes all of them.
“And I’m sorry if I sound annoying and naggy,” Beomgyu adds. “But I still think it’s important you give them a chance to clarify things. And give yourself a chance too, so you can tell them about your fears. You know better than us whether they’re sincere in trying to understand you.”
Kai thinks back about the way they’d already known his likes and dislikes just from observing him on occasion, thinks back about the way they would listen to him chatter endlessly about things that interested him, thinks back on how they never once judged him for quirks he had once been conscious of, thinks back on how they’d constantly check on him to make sure he’s comfortable and happy being with them.
Most of all, he thinks back on how there’d been a moment earlier tonight where he genuinely felt as if he fit perfectly between them, even if it’d been fleeting and too weak to stand up to his insecurities.
As if Taehyun and Yeonjun had molded themselves so they could slot themselves around Kai.
We want you there. In case we haven’t made it clear. We like being around you.
Kai’s heart throbs, his stomach flipping.
“It’s not too late, Kai. There’s plenty of time for you to talk to them. If they really care for you, they’d be patient.”
Kai wants to believe that so badly.
-
Kai spends the next three days alone, trying to sort out his thoughts and what to even say.
He regrets simply running out of their apartment, prompting the two men to freak out till they got the hint with his curt text, and merely asked him to text them when he got back safely. Having shut off his phone after Soobin picked him up, Kai had only seen their messages the next morning.
His reply after that had been the last message in his chat with Taehyun and it takes a whole deal of courage for him to grow the balls to ask them if they were free because he had something important to tell them.
Taehyun’s instantaneous reply and agreement to meet despite the short notice somehow assures him that the couple cares about him, and he’s once again reminded of their infinite patience. But that doesn’t stop him from being anxious as he heads to the park they’d agreed to meet at.
His efforts to calm down are cut short when he approaches the meeting spot – a picnic table in the middle of the park – only to find both Yeonjun and Taehyun already there. From behind, Kai can see how they’ve slotted their joined hands in Taehyun’s pocket, trying to keep warm in the chilly weather.
Inhaling deeply, he makes his way toward the bench, heart jumping alive when the pair turns to him instantly.
Their noses are pink from the cold, and he wonders how long they’d been waiting for him and if they’d come early.
“Oh Kai,” Yeonjun starts, though he ends up biting his lip, as if he’s afraid of saying something wrong.
Meanwhile, Taehyun’s expression remains much more solemn.
“Sorry to make you both come out in this weather.”
Taehyun shakes his head, though he still looks less put together than Kai’s used to. “It’s nothing. You said you had something important to tell us. We want to hear it.”
“Right. I…” Kai breathes in, trying to control how antsy he feels. “First, I want to apologize for running away that night.”
There’s an air of awkwardness between them, and Kai’s slightly unnerved by the couple’s gazes trained on him as he speaks.
“It’s a lot but… ever since the first time we properly hung out together, I knew that I… I like you both. It seems fast. Way too fast, if I’m being honest. But it made me nervous and insecure, because I like you both, and I’m not sure if I’m just a plaything for you guys and you’ll discard me once you’ve had your fun. It made me anxious, and after we slept together, I was terrified that I’d fallen too fast and too deep. So I ran. I’m sorry for making you both worry. I… just wanted to be honest about all of this.”
His confession is haphazard and messy, but it conveys his insecurities, and he grits his teeth, afraid to hear their response. A beat of silence passes before Kai peers up at Taehyun and Yeonjun meekly.
“We could never do that to you,” Yeonjun breaks the silence eventually. “I’m sorry darling, we had no idea you felt this way.”
Kai feels his sinuses souring dangerously and he forces a smile, already feeling bad for troubling the two men before him with his complex emotions and insecurities, when they’d been nothing but kind to them.
“No I don’t know why I’m so selfishly up in my head,” he forces out, and his muscles strain from how hard he’s trying to keep his expression from crumpling. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I had to fall in love and want more.”
Taehyun shakes his head. “No, please never think that way. You’re not selfish for wanting more. We should’ve considered how our actions might have come across and been more honest with you. This comes late, but we like you too, and we wanted you to be part of our relationship. We just didn’t want to scare you away by being too forthcoming from the start.”
Kai feels his heart stop. Even though Beomgyu and Soobin had hinted several times that Taehyun and Yeonjun’s intentions could be genuine, his negativity hadn’t allowed him to truly process the possibility of his feelings being reciprocated.
And he’s sure his surprise must be written all over his face, because it prompts Taehyun to step closer and take his hand gently.
His hand is warm, impossibly warm in the icy weather, and Kai doesn’t think he’d be able to let go, even if he forced himself to.
“We’re sorry. We’re new to this, and we didn’t know how to go about it the right way. It’s always just been the two of us, but we noticed you the day you moved in, looking all adorable. And we’ll admit that initially, we simply mutually agreed that you looked cute. And even though you never noticed it, your bright attitude whenever we worked together was also really lovely.”
“But… dating two people, that’s something hard to approach, and there’s so much more to consider and think about. We didn’t know where or even whether to start, or even how to go about things without scaring you away, so we left it alone till the day you had that exaggerated reaction after Yeonjun smirked at me. It was cute and funny initially, seeing you stare at us blatantly and react each time we had the tiniest interaction. But after we spent that afternoon getting to know you properly, we both realized you were perfect for us.”
Yeonjun reaches forward to take his other hand too, elaborating further.
“It isn’t that we aren’t happy together, but there was always a tiny feeling that something’s missing. After just one date with you let us realize that our hunch was right, we truly wantto dote on you. We just got anxious and rushed things because we wanted to make it obvious that we’re interested in pursuing you. We thought it’d help you understand our intentions further, but didn’t realize that it could complicate things even more.”
Bringing Kai’s knuckles to his lips, he presses a soft kiss and rubs at his frozen fingers, his expression fond despite the underlying stress.
“We freaked out when you just left, especially at that hour, and tried to rethink what we could’ve done better. There are so many things we went about the wrong way, but we couldn’t be more grateful that you’ve decided to come back to tell us your true feelings and where we can do better to make you feel more assured. But like Taehyun said, we like you and want you to be part of our relationship, if you’d like to.”
The confession leaves him frozen and overwhelmed, and he doesn’t notice his tears escaping the safety of his lashline till Taehyun reaches up to run a thumb across his cheek.
“I-I can be a mess, dramatic and emotional sometimes. I can be really needy too. I haven’t dated much so I wouldn’t know how to act. I get confused easily too, and sometimes I need people to spell things out for me to get them. Ah and I clam up easily. Sometimes, it takes me a while to share my true thoughts, even though I really want to.”
He’s babbling, but Yeonjun and Taehyun break into matching, relieved smiles, and suddenly, Kai feels as if he’s tons lighter.
Tons safer with both men holding his hand like this.
“We like you the way you are. Every part of you that we know of right now is lovely. And if there are parts that we have yet to discover, we will grow to love them the same.” Taehyun’s voice is gentle, yet hopefulness blooms beautifully with each syllable uttered, almost infectious as Kai feels his heart begin to warm.
“And don’t worry about being needy. That’s what there are two of us for. Besides, no one here is needier than Tyun.”
Taehyun presses his eyes shut briefly, a fake smile plastered on his face. “We’re having a moment, babe.”
Yeonjun laughs goofily as if he’s just told the joke of the world, prompting Taehyun to roll his eyes, though his expression softens when he looks at Kai again.
“The point is, we like you for you, and if you’re willing, we would like to ask you to be our boyfriend.”
Kai stares back at the two hopeful faces before him, his vision blurring again.
It’s childish, maybe, but he leaps forward to pull them both into a hug which is quickly reciprocated.
He’s warm, incredibly warm like this despite their chilly surroundings.
“I missed you guys,” he mumbles, muffled against Yeonjun’s coat.
Someone ruffles his hair, another squeezes his waist, and Kai feels so, so safe, held like this.
“We missed you too darling. It was hell, we thought the sex was so bad you hated us. You have to make it up to us with cuddles. It’s freezing here.”
The reminder that they’d skipped several stages of intimacy to hop right into bed sends Kai flushing, though another thought occurs to him again.
He pulls away reluctantly, trying not be distracted by the gleaming expressions he’s met with.
“I… Initially had another ridiculous thought too. And I want to clarify it once and for all.”
Taehyun and Yeonjun nod, perking up instantly.
“The reason behind you guys hiding your relationship… what is it?”
Taehyun blinks slowly, exchanging a look with Yeonjun.
“Ah… about that, the answer is… we're not.”
“Huh?”
He shrugs. “We're not hiding our relationship. We’ve been together for a number of years since high school, and never really had the tendency to post about our relationship on social media. We didn't go out of our way to hide it either. And since Yeonjun started studying here a year ahead of me, we naturally formed different study circles.”
The explanation comes as a completely unexpected surprise, and Kai can’t help the way his mouth hangs open in shock.
“Yup!” Yeonjun pipes up. “If you frequent the gyms, you'd see us hanging out there together often. We thought we behaved quite normally, so we were pretty amused when you had a huge reaction when you saw us interact. Maybe for the first time. And then we realized even more people had no clue we're dating or even know each other, so it became a fun little game for us.”
With their clarification, Kai's Ridiculous Theory #1 comes crumbling down like Jenga blocks.
“So, you guys weren’t using me as a red herring to hide your relationship?”
Taehyun's eyes widen incredulously while Yeonjun regards him with a scandalized gasp. “Was that what you thought? And was that why you started to doubt that we were serious about pursuing you when we started to do so?”
“Yeah…” he trails off, a little embarrassed by the clarification. “I also couldn’t believe you’d both even be remotely interested in me so… I cooked up that narrative in my head. In my defense, you guys were sitting separately in our shared class too.”
“Oh… about that, it’s cuz Taehyun complained about me shaking my leg too much, it distracts him, so I’ve gotta sit elsewhere for the sake of his perfect GPA.”
The ridiculous revelation has Kai completely baffled.
“That’s why he was only willing to sit with me when you were in the middle,” Yeonjun lets out another goofy, embarrassed laugh.
Taehyun yawns exaggeratedly. “You’re like a beanpole, you block out the distractions.”
“Hey!”
Taehyun hides behind Kai, dodging Yeonjun’s tickle attacks with little squeals.
Kai finds his lips twitching into a fond smile.
-
yawnzzn and you.th made a new post
yawnzzn hard launching our third cat
↳ page.soobin no no no no NO THAT’S A DOG HE’S OUR DOG
↳ bamgyuuuu bro… don’t put it like that.. it's puppy*** please.
↳ kaikamal_ meow
↳ you.th ❤️❤️❤️
↳ yawnzzn ❤️❤️❤️
↳ kaikamal_ meowwwwww
↳ bamgyuuuu nvm wtf
↳ page.soobin NO BARK NOW BARK NOW ONE TWO THREE WOOF WOOF