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Hitoshi doesn't know what to think when he steps into the gym and finds Aizawa standing next to one big backpack.
It certainly doesn't look like their regular training and that immediately puts Hitoshi on edge.
"What are we doing?" Hitoshi carefully asks and Aizawa gives him his most feral grin, and Hitoshi breaks out into a cold sweat.
This cannot be good.
"You are doing something," he gives back and kicks the backpack. "Remember that essay I made you write about what you would need if you were ever dropped in the woods for a few days?"
"Oh gods," Hitoshi groans out because that's his nightmare actually and Aizawa's grin only gets wider.
"I packed for you, exactly what you wrote down."
"And you're going to drop me in the wilderness," Hitoshi finishes for him because he can damn well read between the lines and come to his own conclusions and Aizawa nods, much to Hitoshi's despair. "I have no forest expertise," Hitoshi whines out. "I'm a city kitty. I'm gonna die in the wilderness."
Aizawa narrows his eyes at Hitoshi before he suspiciously asks "Have you been talking to Hizashi?"
"Yamada? Why the hell would I talk to him about you dropping me into my doom when I didn't even know it would happen?"
"Suspicious," Aizawa mumbles before he visibly shrugs it off. "And you're a dumpster rat at best," he then mercilessly says and Hitoshi clutches his chest in outrage.
"Ouch. So you decided to take me in and now you're going to dump me, I see." He tries to aim for a light tone but inside, he trembles.
"I'm going to dump you for three days," Aizawa agrees and there is not a shred of empathy in his voice.
"May I remind you what happened the last time you let some of your kids into the wilderness?" Hitoshi asks in a desperate attempt to change Aizawa's mind but Aizawa only huffs.
"As far as I know there is no League of Villains gunning for you, or is there something you haven't told me about?" Aizawa shoots back and Hitoshi lets out a groan because he can hardly lie about that.
"I could die out there."
"You could also just survive," Aizawa immediately replies and Hitoshi groans.
"Please, don't do this to me," he says, more serious than he intended but for all his previous joking, he can already feel a lick of unease crawl up his spine.
"Give me one good reason why not," Aizawa says after a moment, clearly picking up on how serious it suddenly is for Hitoshi but the words die in his throat.
It's just another point of shame for him, something he never wants Aizawa to know, that he was so unloved that his birth parents dropped him like an unwanted pet and so he only awkwardly shrugs, hoping Aizawa will take pity on him but of course he doesn't.
"Wonderful. Off we go then," Aizawa almost cheerfully says and kicks the backpack again, this time with a pointed look that tells Hitoshi he's supposed to pick it up.
He does, reluctantly as hell, and it's heavier than he would have expected.
"Like I said I packed up everything you mentioned in your essay. And—as you can guess—you're going to write me another essay after this, applying your new and first-hand knowledge.”
Hitoshi hates to even think it but it's a pretty effective way of learning something but that doesn't mean he has to like it.
Which he doesn't, just for the record.
"I hate you," he grumbles and Aizawa chuckles.
"Tell that to the trees, maybe they'll care," he gives back, reaching out to ruffle Hitoshi's hair on their way to the car.
The drive to wherever it is Aizawa is going to dump him is mostly quiet but Hitoshi's leg bounces with nerves.
"You good?" Aizawa wants to know once they are parked because of course he picked up on it and Hitoshi forces his expression into something more bored.
"Sure. This is it?"
"This is it," Aizawa agrees and then shoves a map and a compass into Hitoshi's hands. "It's on you to figure out where we are, but in three days I'm going to be picking you up here," he says and points to a circled part of the map.
"What if I can't make it or need help?" Hitoshi dares to ask, even though he can guess what the answer is going to be.
Tough luck. Your problem. You can't make it? Good riddance.
Hitoshi clenches his teeth just imagining it but then Aizawa drops a burner phone in his lap.
"You can make exactly one call with this, my number is saved," he informs Hitoshi who studies the phone.
It's a rudimentary one, one that doesn't even have access to the internet and he pockets it with a big sigh.
"Sure," he mumbles because he knows how this goes.
Aizawa isn't going to come, not even when he calls him.
This is a very convenient way of getting rid of him, of disposing of a nuisance and Hitoshi wonders why Aizawa and Yamada even went through the process of fostering him permanently, of applying for adoption, when they are just going to get rid of him anyway.
Seems like a waste of time—and unlike Aizawa and Yamada, a small voice adds—but the facts speak for themselves.
"Three days, kid. I'll be there to pick you up."
"Of course," Hitoshi gives back, not understanding why Aizawa would reiterate that since they both know he's not going to be there when the time comes but he clearly wants Hitoshi to play along, so he does. "I'll start here."
"Yes. Figure out where you are and then get to the meeting point."
"'kay," Hitoshi mumbles and gets out of the car.
He hesitates for a moment, backpack at his feet, but he doesn't know what to say. Hitoshi thinks he should be thanking Aizawa for at least trying with him, but he can't manage to get the words out and so he simply closes the door with a nod.
Aizawa doesn't hesitate to drive away and then it's just Hitoshi.
He thinks he could just walk back the way they came and see how long he can make it out on the streets, but Aizawa wants him to do something and despite the way he was just thrown away, a small part of Hitoshi can't help but to want to please him, so he shoulders his backpack and makes his way into the forest.
It's lonely and scary, and Hitoshi feels six all over again, trudging through the woods, except this time he's weighed down by a backpack that promises him a longer survival than the first time around.
Back then it had only been luck that saved him because he had stumbled upon some hikers who took him back into the city and dropped him off with the police instead of letting him become bear food. Hitoshi hasn't checked the contents of the backpack yet, but Aizawa said he packed exactly what Hitoshi wrote down in his essay and he remembers that decently well, so he's set.
For more than three days actually, at least if Aizawa didn't break it all down to last him only that long, and it's probably something Hitoshi should be checking out but his feet continue to carry him on.
It feels as if he's going to disappear the moment he stops, so he goes on walking, makes his way through the woods and the underbrush and by the time he remembers to check the map and the compass it's already long past noon.
Hitoshi no longer has any idea where he is, though he can make an educated guess on where Aizawa dropped him off. With that and the marker on the map and the compass in his hand it shouldn't be too hard to get to where he needs to be, even though he'll only be met with disappointment there because Aizawa will not come back.
Still, he adjusts his direction and gets going again, not daring to think too much about the fact that there are no visible trails anywhere and that it's therefore highly unlikely that he'll run into anyone who could help him.
He's probably truly alone out here and the thought takes his breath away but Hitoshi forces himself to breathe slow and even.
The pick-up point is his goal for now—if Aizawa claims that's where he'll pick him up then that must mean there's a road there—at least as long as Aizawa didn't lie completely—and so that's his best bet.
So on he goes, careful not to stumble and injure himself because that would just spell disaster and by the time it starts to get dark he feels as if he made it decently far.
Hitoshi quickly decides that wasting time looking for decent shelter is not worth it—it's warm out and there hadn't been any rain forecasts lately, so he figures he can get away with hunkering down on a decently sized branch because he's not stupid enough to stay on the ground.
Who knows what lives in these woods, so Hitoshi quickly checks out all the surrounding trees and thankfully more than one of them has branches that look thick and sturdy.
He climbs the tree easily, despite the heavy backpack, and soon enough he's pressed against the trunk. Right about now he misses his capture weapon but he did write about a rope in his essay, so there has to be something in his bag that he can tie himself to the tree with and Hitoshi gets to figuring out what else is in there while he's at it.
Just like Aizawa promised, it's everything he mentioned in his essay, and more than enough to last him long past three days at that, and Hitoshi dares to relax a bit.
Starvation or dehydration are not immediate concerns with what he has and that bit of reassurance is enough to send him straight into a panic attack.
Because he's been abandoned once again—left in the woods, left to his own devices by a guardian who doesn't want him.
Hitoshi feels six all over, small and terrified and lost and confused because he doesn't understand, understands this time even less than the last one and he sobs into his knees.
He thought Aizawa would be different, that Yamada would be, that they could be safe for Hitoshi, that maybe they cared because they insisted on taking him in, he wasn't thrust into their care like he had been with everyone else, they agreed to foster him willingly, so he doesn't understand why they would be so cruel.
But that they are is undeniable because he's out here, alone, and for a split second Hitoshi thinks he might just stay.
Maybe he can figure out how to live out here and be rid of other people who have the ability to hurt him completely.
It's a nice dream, even though it makes him cry even harder for a moment, and then instinct kicks in and he tries to bite back every noise he makes even though there's no one around who could get mad at him for it.
He cries and he cries and he cries and then he nearly falls off the tree when Aizawa's urgent voice suddenly rings out.
"Hitoshi?"
By the time Hitoshi has convinced himself that it wasn't a hallucination and picked his head out of his knees, Aizawa has long scaled the tree and he's almost awkwardly perched on Hitoshi's branch, hands halfway stretched out towards him.
"Are you hurt? What's going on?" he asks, cupping Hitoshi's cheek in his hand and smoothing his hair back with the other. "What happened?"
"You're here," Hitoshi hiccups out and Aizawa frowns.
"Yeah, of course I'm here. What happened, Hitoshi, are you hurt?" His voice is urgent as if he's actually worried about Hitoshi and for a moment that makes him cry even harder.
"Shhh, kid, you're okay, everything's good," Aizawa mutters when he seems to understand that Hitoshi is in no state to answer and he pulls Hitoshi into the most uncomfortable hug imaginable.
Despite their precarious positions on the branch, Hitoshi sinks into his arms and it's the best he has felt in a while, despite the tears still streaming down his face. Aizawa doesn't berate him for his tears and so Hitoshi dares to reach out and cling to him, hoping to get him to stay but Aizawa only makes a soothing noise at him.
"I'm right here, no need to worry," he reassures him and then he doesn't move, doesn't push Hitoshi away until he feels a little bit more stable.
"I'm sorry," Hitoshi says when he's all cried out and Aizawa gently pushes him away, though he makes sure to keep contact with Hitoshi.
"Can you get down with me? I don't feel comfortable talking up here," Aizawa says and Hitoshi peers down.
He's actually a bit higher up than he thought he was but he still nods. Aizawa keeps a close eye on him as they make their way back down but Hitoshi doesn't so much as slip even once, even though he doesn't have his capture weapon and he's unbalanced by the backpack and Aizawa gives him a quick, approving smile for it.
"Okay, now that we have more stable ground under our feet, wanna tell me what made you panic like that?" Aizawa asks him and Hitoshi looks down in embarrassment though the confusion wins out in the end.
"Why did you come back?" he gives back, and Aizawa studies him for a moment before he seems to come to the conclusion that he's going to answer first.
"I never left, Hitoshi. I drove the car to the meeting point and then I went back to follow you."
"How?"
"I bugged the phone." He reaches into one of the compartments on his jumpsuit and pulls out his own phone where he presses a few buttons. "See?" he asks and the phone echoes it, though it's muffled.
Hitoshi spares it a quick glance to confirm that it's really a tracker and then his eyes brim with tears again.
"You didn't intend to leave me here?" he asks, his voice coming out wobbly and Aizawa's eye goes wide.
"Of course not, Hitoshi! I was here the entire time and even if not, I would have definitely picked you up in three days. You thought I wouldn't?"
Aizawa seems honestly distressed by that thought and Hitoshi realises that he has to tell him what happened to him the very first time CPS got involved because otherwise Aizawa would just assume that Hitoshi doesn't trust him, that he failed him somehow.
Which is not at all the truth, because Aizawa and Yamada are the only adults he has ever trusted.
So he tells Aizawa the whole story; how his birth parents took him on 'a hiking trip'. How they took him into a forest and then told him to wait under a tree until they came back because they forgot something in the car. How that never happened. How he wandered the woods for at least two days before he stumbled upon some unsuspecting hikers who took pity on him.
How that started his hellish life in foster care.
By the end of it, Hitoshi feels wrung out and when Aizawa steps closer to him he doesn't hesitate to slump against him, trusting Aizawa to hold him up.
Which he does.
"You could have said, kid," Aizawa softly says and pets Hitoshi's head. "You could have told me that this wasn't okay for you. I wouldn't have forced you."
"I was convinced you did it because you don't want me anymore," Hitoshi admits. "What use would it have been to beg you to keep me."
"Okay, that part of your logic is sound. What's not so sound is the conclusion of me wanting to get rid of you in the first place. Kid, I practically begged you to allow us to get you away from your family, so we could foster you and you think I would just dump you weeks later?"
"No, I—that did seem strange to me," Hitoshi admits because his mind had stumbled over that after all. "It's just—"
"The fear was greater," Aizawa finishes for him and nods once.
"Well, I'm here now. Like I always will be, that is not something you'll ever have to worry about ever again. Now the question is: do you want to go home or do you want to try and find your way to the meeting point?"
The question makes Hitoshi lock up for a second but Aizawa promised he'd be there. And he is, right now, which is already so much more than anyone has ever given him.
"Will you stay?" he dares to ask and Aizawa nods immediately.
"I'll keep you company but I will not help you with anything if you decide to go through with it."
For a split moment, Hitoshi thinks he'll have to do this to make Aizawa proud, to make up for this complete fuck up but Aizawa seems to be able to read him because he sighs.
"You don't have to prove yourself to me, Hitoshi. If you want to go home, we will go home and I won't be disappointed or mad. It's up to you. Either is fine with me."
Aizawa seems completely serious and Hitoshi decides to trust him on this.
"I want to try to get there," he admits because if he knows how to navigate the woods, then maybe that will lessen his fear in the future.
"You're very brave, kid," Aizawa tells him with a smile and ruffles his hair for him. "I'm proud of you."
It makes Hitoshi feel warm all over to hear that and he darts in for another quick hug which Aizawa readily returns before he looks back up at the branch they came from.
"Time to get back up then and hunker down for the night," Hitoshi decides and Aizawa follows his gaze.
"Whatever you say, kid," he gives back, clearly already in the 'no helping' mindset he warned Hitoshi about and while Hitoshi can see himself getting frustrated with that very quickly, it's also so incredibly reassuring to just have him here.
Because like this it's almost easy to believe that he's still wanted.