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Chuuya hates corruption.
Hates the way he loses control, not having a single clue on what's going on in his surroundings, and to be completely devoured by pitch black darkness.
And he absolutely hates how he always ends up in pain afterwards. Always lying in bed not being able to do anything but remain in his spot, his body too sore to do the simplest activities. There isn't a single muscle in his body that isn't sore.
He hates using corruption.
Last night, he had used it and was once again engulfed in that darkness. While it never lasts for long, it still feels like a lifetime whenever he uses it. And the only reason it never lasts long is because of a certain touch.
Because of Dazai's touch.
His hand grabbing his, he never gets to hear what he says. But even then, when darkness is completely surrounding him, Dazai's touch lights up that darkness by his words that never reach Chuuya clearly, always hearing muffled words, yet those words always bringing him comfort.
So when Chuuya blinks his eyes open, face slightly hidden against the pillow, he isn't surprised to find that his entire body is in pain. If he were to move the slightest bit, it would be a chore, taking lots of effort, and leaving him with more pain. He can't help himself but let out a long breath at that.
This pain that comes with it is the worst part about corruption.
Chuuya hears a slight chuckle behind him before his name is brightly called, "Chuuya, you're finally awake."
He takes everything back. This. This is the worst part about corruption.
Chuuya shuts his eyes, not that Dazai would have noticed with the way Dazai's facing his back, and decides to pretend to be asleep. It's no use though, because this is Dazai and he somehow knows him just like the back of his hand.
"Chuuya," Dazai calls again voice chipper and louder and Chuuya squeezes his eyes shut tighter. Dazai's just waiting for him to react and there's no way he's going to give in.
"Chuuya. Chuuya. My hat-loving Chuuya. My ugly-hat-loving Chuuya. My ugly-hat-loving-tiny Chuuya. My ugly-hat-loving-tiny-petite Chuuya. My ugly-hat-loving—"
"Dazai! Shut the hell up!"
"Ah! So you're awake!"
Chuuya groans loudly, "I'm already in so much pain. Go away."
"What makes you think I won't ease your pain?" Dazai hums and Chuuya really wants to punch him.
"Because you only add pain. You're a pain yourself. You're the human embodiment of pain." Chuuya sighs when Dazai chuckles because of course he's finding this amusing. Everything's amusing to him, especially when Chuuya's involved.
"But Chuuya," Chuuya groans at the way Dazai drawls his name out, "You love this pain that's called Dazai."
Chuuya takes in a deep breath, reminding himself that he's not going to punch Dazai because it'll only increase the pain in his arm. So instead he replies with, "Dazai, go and die."
"I'll gladly die with you by my side. Such a wonderful way to die—"
"Just shut the fuck up!"
Dazai chuckles again and that's all Chuuya can handle before he tries elbowing him but he hisses slightly in pain. That leads to Dazai wrapping his arms around him from the back and nuzzling his face against his neck, "Don't move, it'll only increase the pain."
"You're increasing my pain!" Chuuya huffs out a breath when Dazai hums again and presses a kiss against the back of his neck.
He'll never admit it, but somehow being like this is bringing him comfort, which really shouldn't be considering how they're pressed up against each other. Dazai hums quietly as he wraps his arms around Chuuya tighter and buries his nose against his hair. Chuuya lets out a small breath and smiles slightly. He's glad Dazai's facing his back and won't be seeing the way he's smiling because if he were then Chuuya wouldn't hear the end of it.
If only Dazai would keep his mouth shut.
"Chuuya, you're a liar. I do ease your pain."
"When have you done that?" Chuuya asks and huffs out a breath when Dazai hums.
His voice is chipper and loud, "I stop you whenever you use corruption. If it weren't for me you'll just keep on inflicting more pain upon yourself until you die."
"That doesn't count!" Chuuya turns around, hissing slightly in pain, and Dazai's arms are still around him, helping him in turning around, and lessening the pain.
The first thing his gaze lands upon is Dazai's hair. It's all disheveled and Chuuya resists the urge to run his hand through it to fix it. Dazai's eyes are bright, gleaming with joy, and he smirks as he instead runs a hand through Chuuya's hair.
That bastard. How did he even know what he had been thinking?
"Hmm, then," Dazai leans forward and whispers directly in his ear, "What about now? I know you were smiling a few moments ago."
Chuuya's eyes widen and Dazai grins, "You're annoying!"
Chuuya pushes Dazai away which only causes him to laugh loudly and if he weren't in so much pain he would have kicked him by now off the bed.
"Chuuya." Dazai's still grinning and Chuuya huffs out a breath, refusing to continue talking with him, "Chuuya. Chuuya. Chuuya. Chuuya—"
"Ahh! Don't you ever get tired of being annoying? Why can't you shut up for just one—"
Chuuya gets interrupted mid-sentence when Dazai wraps his arms around him once again, but this connecting their lips as well.
Chuuya's eyes widen slightly, but soon his thoughts turn into mush, and when he leans slightly forwards to deepen the kiss, Dazai leans backward, smirking, "I don't know how to shut up, but I do know how to make you shut up."
"You bastard!" This time Chuuya kicks him, but Dazai had expected that and takes that as an opportunity to keep his legs between his, intertwining their legs.
"Chuuya you're so tiny."
"And you're so alive, please die."
"I'll gladly—"
"Ugh, just stop talking. Nobody can ever offend you," Chuuya sighs when Dazai continues grinning and this time he runs a hand through his hair, tidying it slightly. He runs his hand through it twice and when he moves his arms back, he doesn't miss seeing the gentleness in Dazai's eyes.
Somehow just that one moment seems enough for him to forget about everything Dazai has said and done in the past few moments. That's just what makes him Dazai. That's what makes him the Dazai he's in love with for some reason he can’t understand.
He sighs and wraps his arms loosely around Dazai's waist, softly touching the end of his shirt, and Dazai hums before pulling him closer, and Chuuya doesn't resist. He leans forward, hiding his face against Dazai's shoulder, and sighs again but this time in content.
If only Dazai was this quiet all the time. It's all short lived though as Dazai speaks, "Why do you love your hat and wear it all the time?"
"You ask weird questions."
"I hate your hat."
"That's why I love it and continue wearing it."
Dazai mock gasps at that, “Am I in your mind all the time that every single thing you do revolves around me!”
“Why can’t you shut up just for a minute?” Chuuya hears him humming, seemingly contemplating the thought.
“Just one minute?”
“No, I mean― fine, yeah just one minute.” Dazai hums again.
“Okay.”
Chuuya leans back, facing him, and Dazai’s grinning. He narrows his eyes at him and when Dazai doesn’t utter a word, he hides his face once again against his chest and decides to savor this one moment, even when he’s certain Dazai’s got something planned. Something to annoy Chuuya afterwards.
Dazai rubs his back softly, his touches soothing his sore back. Chuuya shuts his eyes and lets out a breath because just these small touches seem to be enough to ease his pain. He doesn’t know how long Dazai keeps on holding his back, but then he runs his hand through Chuuya’s hair again, pressing a kiss on top of his head and whispering, “You did well.”
You did well last night. Rest now, I’ll take care of you.
Dazai doesn’t have to say it, but Chuuya understands it with his gentle touches.
Chuuya doesn’t respond to that, but leans closer instead. This may be the only good thing that comes with corruption. Dazai is both the worst and the only good thing that comes with corruption.
Dazai chuckles, “Chuuya, I’ve stayed quiet for over a minute. Now answer me, why do you always wear a hat? Is it to look taller?”
This time Chuuya kicks Dazai off the bed and he clearly had it coming.