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“So I may have done something…” the look on Adrian’s face was almost sheepish, like a child caught doing something he shouldn’t have.
“Okkk… Should I be worried?”
“No. At least I don’t think so...”
“Your hesitation is making me nervous. Spit it out, Adrian.”
“With Christmas coming up, I may have asked everyone over for a board game night. It’d be fun.”
“Oh, do you and your mom need help cleaning or making food or something?”
“Noooo…”
“It’s not going to be at your house is it?”
“Umm, no. Your place is bigger and nicer and you don’t live with your mom. So I figured we’d do it here.” He said looking down at your bed.
Sighing, you answered, “Yeah, you practically live here anyway but you are cleaning up before and after. Got it?”
"Fuck yes!"
______________________________________
Everyone was having a good time, the food was awesome, the beer was flowing, and Harcourt had drank enough to ask you to call her Em, when you’re pretty sure she doesn’t even like you.
Adrian unwrapped a box of cards, “So this game is called Tales. Someone pulls a card, reads it, and we all answer. If you don’t like the card you pulled, put it back and get another.”
Chris took a swig of his beer and then asked, “How do you win?”
“There’s no winning or losing, dude. It’s a game to bond and have fun,” Adrian said as he pulled the first card.
“Want to bet? My answers are gonna be the funniest.”
Adrian read the card aloud, “Who here would make the funniest GPS voice?”
You pointed at Em while almost everyone else pointed at Chris or Adrian.
“Me? Why do you think I’d be the funniest voice?” She looked confused.
Clearing your throat, you tried imitating Harcourt’s usual rough demeanor, “Turn right, god dammit. Did Ricky Bobby teach you to drive mother fucker? Jesus. You missed the turn, again.” Thankfully she laughed along with everyone else, you’d been a little worried she wouldn’t.
Harcourt grabbed a card, “What’s the weirdest date you’ve ever been on?” Chris answered immediately, “Green Lantern once set me up on a date with Infectious Lass. I touched her hand from across the table and all of a sudden my crotch started burning. We didn’t even fuck and she gave me gonorrhea and syphillus!”
“What the fuck, Chris!” Em exclaimed as the rest of us dissolved into laughter.
Leota went next, “Second date and we met at her place to Netflix and chill and there were pictures of her dead cat everywhere… And not just in picture frames, no. All her mugs, blankets, paintings, even the wallpaper had her cat’s breed on them. And it turned out that the pendant around her neck was full of her cat’s ashes.”
You looked at Adrian lovingly, “First date, he took me out into the forest to shoot appliances. It was great but it was still weird.”
“Someone else took you on a first date to shoot appliances before I did?”
“No, Goofball. I’m talking about our first date. I had fun and obviously I didn’t mind but it was still weird. You could have been a serial killer for all I knew.” You cracked yourself up sometimes. Giggling still when Adrian leaned over and kissed you sweetly mid-laugh.
Harcourt just shook her head, “Nope. Not going there.”
You pulled the next card, “What’s the most ridiculous rule we’ve ever had to make?” Leota and Em replied before anyone else could, “No chainsaws.”
Looking at Leota you said, “Do I even want to know?”
“Probably not,” she said laughing into her beer.
Adrian was obviously offended, “Yeah, wasn’t ok for me to have a chainsaw but Economos used it to kill a gorilla right after and everyone was cool with that.”
Chris flipped through several cards before settling on one, “Who would be most likely to adopt a pet racoon?” Everyone pointed at Adrian and you. “Yeah, that’s fair,” you said as you took a sip of your drink. Adrian grinned, “We’d raise it together.”
Pulling another card from the deck, Leota read it, “If you had to hide a body… who in this room would you call to help you?”
“Adrian!” everyone but Adrian yelled.
“Chris! Wait, you all trust me to help hide a body? Hell yeah, BFFs.”
Em selected another random card, “What’s one of your most unhinged pet peeves?”
“Wearing socks in bed,” you said immediately.
Leota looked bothered, “people that chew loudly should be smacked upside the head.”
“Wet socks,” Chris cringed.
“Men,” Harcourt said as Leota and I snickered.
"Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Chris said, slightly offended.
Adrian seemed to understand, “Fair. Graffiti.”
Leota groaned, “Graffiti is no reason to kill someone, Adrian. That’s definitely unhinged.”
Was she implying what you thought? “Wait.. Adrian, do you kill graffiti artists?”
“Fuck yeah, that’s not theirs!”
Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, “Are you serious right now? That is not fucking ok! We’ll talk about this later.”
Adrian grabbed up a card quickly, hoping to get your mind elsewhere, “If you could add one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?”
You spoke first, locking eyes with your boyfriend, “No one kills anyone for doing graffiti.”
“Be excellent to each other,” Leota said in her best Bill & Ted impression.
Harcourt answered quickly, hardly thinking about it, “Women can go out in public without being bothered.”
Chris’s simple response, “World peace.”
“No one litters,” Adrian added wistfully.
It was your turn to grab a card, “What’s your go-to comfort food that reminds you of home? I know yours Love, Malt-o-Meal.”
Adrian grinned at you, “Of course. And yours are chocolate chip cookies and that hot banana and peanut salad.”
“What in the white people food is he talking about?” Leota looked horrified.
“It’s a hot dessert where you cook regular bananas, not plantains, and peanuts and then the liquids make a homemade caramel sauce. It's not as weird as it sounds.”
“Nope that’s definitely as bad as it sounds,” Chris said as he got up to grab another beer, “I was wrong, I didn’t win. That right there wins the most horrifying food award.
After that you all decided it was time for the next game. You had a couple hours before the time everyone agreed on for the white elephant gifts.