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He wasn’t breathing.
Her lungs were on fire but she wouldn’t stop couldn’t stop
This couldn’t be happening he’d be okay she’d make it okay
She ruined everything again and now there’s a body count
Breathe breathe breathe for him and if it took all her breath away then that was a fair trade that all worked out
He was so still he was never still look what she did he’s not breathing she can’t breathe
She can’t breathe
Courtney awoke with a gasp, struggling for air. She shot up. Inhaler, grab her inhaler. Right by the bedstand. That was it. Breathe… fuck. She was gonna wake Robert up, she could already hear the shuffling. She held her breath. Maybe he’d think she was in the bathroom, and he would go back to sleep, and she wouldn’t ruin a good- great- night.
“Courtney?” he started, drowsy but alert. “I know you’re there.” Course he did. Asshole. “What’s up?”
She exhaled. “Nothing, Red Robin.” If she slipped the pet name he pretended to hate in, maybe he’d get distracted, groan, then they’d banter and he’d let it go. “Just a dream.” She shrugged, casually.
There was the groan. “Hair’s still not red, Visi.”
“Auburn’s still close enough, Red Robin.” That was the stuff. Soon he’d say it was ‘taken’, she’d say copyright was bullcrap, and she’d be home free-
“What were you dreaming about?”
Shit. “Nothing.”
“Yeah?” He sat up. “Cause you were crying.”
“Shit,” she cursed under her breath, wiping at her eyes. Plan B, then. “Fine, you wanna know? Wet dream, Robert,” she drawled, with a smirk. If she got him distracted, maybe one thing led to another, and he’d forget. “Mouth was a bit busy. Couldn’t breathe, had it sooo deep I was crying…”
“Wow, same dream, we really are connected,” he drawled, and her snort was so damn embarrassing. God, this asshole.
“Yeah, well, more than happy to bust Invisidick out again for you anytime, Robert.” He smiled, amused and concerned and… and affectionate, god, so affectionate, and her heart still did flips. How did she get so lucky? She thought of that night again, and her smile fell. How the fuck did she get so lucky.
“Hey.” He reached out and took her hand. “What’s up? Seriously, Vis.”
“…Bad dream,” she answered after a moment. “About. About Chase.”
“Oh.”
“How can you look at me?” She looked steadfast to the wall, not able to see just how he was looking at her right now. “How can he?”
“Oh, frequently, easily, and eagerly,” he deadpanned. “Well. For me. Can’t speak for Chase but I sure hope his answer is different.”
She couldn’t fight a laugh, and she glared at him for it. “Robert.”
“Courtney,” he imitated with a cocky little smirk, before it softened into an encouraging smile. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I went against orders, trying to do something right, something for you, and instead I almost got your-“ Brother? Uncle? “Chase killed-“
“And we forgave you.”
“How?” she pleaded, like there was any answer that would be enough.
Robert took a breath and thought. “…Look. Chase is the biggest fan of Z-Team now. The biggest advocate. Almost makes me look bad.”
She laughed. “Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but the team was considering requesting a switch of dispatcher. Thought I’d give you a heads up.”
“Thanks,” he snarked back, with a little twitch of his lips. “But you know who his favorite is on that team? You.” It was maybe cocky for her to admit, but he wasn’t wrong. He was constantly smiling around her. The insults they used to fling was just chill teasing now, and he was always one of if not the first to hype her up when she kicked some ass. It was really disorienting, really. How could he feel that way about her, especially now? “We save people, Visi. That’s the job. Sometimes people we love, people we hate, and people we don’t know at all. That’s our life.”
“Right. Right.” She looked down. It wasn’t about her. That made sense. It was just Chase being a good guy. A hero. He would’ve done the same for anyone, and he was nice to everyone. Get your head out of your ass, Courtney, it was not all about-
She felt a squeeze of her hand, like Robert knew exactly where her brain was going, and her eyes widened. She looked over to him and there was that fucking patient ass, gentle as shit, sooo caring look on his face again. Like he got her. Which. Yeah. He got her a long time ago. “Let me finish.”
“Okay,” she said quietly.
“But sometimes, we get to save someone we know will pay it forward. Who’ll bring some good. Who really deserves another chance. And those days are what make it all worth it. They’re a gift. That was you. Chase… Chase was mad about a villain being a hero when he couldn’t be, yeah. And I called him out on it. But I also think… I think he looked at you and was reminded of himself. And that was a reminder of how he couldn’t be out there. But I set him straight, and then in that moment, he knew how great you could be. How good you already were. And he made that choice so the world would still have you in it. And I…” he swallowed. Fuck, she got him emotional. She wanted to just scoop him up right there- and god wasn’t that a thought Invisibitch would’ve gagged at- but he said to let him finish. “I’m so thankful he did. Every day. And every day you pay it forward, proving him right. You wanted to help. It went bad. Happens to every hero. But you didn’t quit and you did better. We forgive you, Courtney. The only person who hasn’t is you.”
She blinked back tears. She took a deep breath. And she rushed in to embrace him. “Thanks, Robert,” she whispered. He squeezed her back. Something about his hugs was just. He wasn’t the biggest, most muscular guy out there. He kept it tight. He was lean, wirey, and she loved it, do not get her wrong. But all the same, it still felt so strong, so resolute, so sturdy. This was a place she could always come back to. This was always waiting for her. It felt like a given. Him and his arms would be right there ready to hold all of her. Christ, when did she become a romantic, she haaated it.
“Always, Court.”
“I’ll, uh. I’ll try. The forgiving myself thing.”
“You always try. Most heroic thing I’ve ever seen.”
She chuckled, rolling her eyes even though he couldn’t see, and she was grateful he couldn’t see the surely goofy ass smile dancing on her face. “Cut it out.”
“I mean it. You try so hard, constantly, and there’s bumps and failures along the way, but you always get there in the end. S’how I want to be. You’ll get there with this too. Maybe talk to Chase. Might help.”
“Ughhh,” she groaned playfully. “Do I have to? Emotionally vulnerable talks give us both hives, and we have to watch our health, you know? ‘Specially him, hives for him could lay him out for half a decade.” He chuckled, the laugh reverberating through her, and the warmth inside compelled her to reassure him. “I will. Just… let me build up to it.”
“Course. But if you take too long, I reserve the right to ride your ass about it.”
She laughed. “Hm, I think riding my ass is more a privilege than a right, Robert,” she purred. Let that reverberate through him. The slight throatiness to his chuckle gave her tingles. She finally pulled back and let him see her stupid smile. The way he smiled back, she was pretty sure it was the right call. She gave him a soft kiss. “And right now that privilege is revoked ‘till tomorrow. Go back to sleep, nerd. Shift tomorrow, ‘member?”
“After you,” he drawled as he got back under the blankets. She did the same with a sigh. She closed her eyes.
“Hey Robert?” she whispered after a moment.
“Hm?”
“Love you.” The words still felt euphoric on her tongue. The same kind of rush and buzz of going invisible, only she was putting all of herself out there for him to see, and knew it’d be accepted. She didn’t need to open her eyes to see that damn smile on his face. It was all over his voice.
“Love you too, Court.”
And she breathed.