Chapter Text
Holly tried to concentrate on tuning her guitar, setting up the amp, calming her frazzled nerves. Two days. It had been two whole days since she’d slept with Kitty. Since she’d watched her walk out of the bedroom, leaving Holly with so many conflicting emotions there was barely room in her head or heart to hold them all.
And except for that one text, she hadn’t heard from her since. That wasn’t unusual — it wasn’t like Holly and Kitty were in the habit of communicating much, outside of band rehearsals, anyway. But it wasn’t like they were in the habit of sleeping together, either…
Despite that text, Holly had no idea what Kitty thought…or what she herself wanted. Was it meant to be just a one night thing? Were they supposed to pretend it hadn’t happened? Did they need to talk about it?
How soon could they do it again?
A familiar warmth flared in response to that one.
Her mind wandered — every scorching detail of Tuesday night branded into her brain, hot and almost painfully arousing. She’d needed a lot of cold showers over the last two days.
She could do with one now.
“What’s up with you?” Yvonne’s dry voice broke into the memory just as it got really juicy, making Holly nearly jump out of her skin. Shit. She’d forgotten where she was for a moment.
Forcing her mind back to the present — trying to ignore the now-far-too familiar tingling between her legs — she looked at her sister.
“Sorry?” she asked. She thought she’d kept her voice causal, but Yvonne’s sly gaze told her she hadn’t quite managed it.
“Who’s got you all on edge?”
Shit. Yvonne knew her far too well.
Normally, Holly would have had some clever reply already on the tip of her tongue, but she was so off-balance today that she couldn’t come up with any response, clever or otherwise. She just stood there, mouth open slightly, mind whirring vacantly as Yvonne’s smirk grew more gleeful.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Thank god for Jess. “Someone wanna help me set this up?” she called from the other side of the garage.
Holly’s “Yep!” came out far too high. At least it got her away from Yvonne’s probing gaze.
As she grabbed the other side of the amp, helping lug it into place, Jess looked up at her.
“Have fun the other night?” she smirked, with a quick, knowing wink.
Oh, for fuck’s sake! Holly’s face flushed. She’d completely forgotten about Jess being in The Duke the other night. She considered playing innocent, but she was far too wound up to pull it off.
“Don’t say anything to anyone…” she said instead, keeping her voice low, eyes darting to check Yvonne wasn’t listening.
Setting the amp down, Jess raised her hands. “None of my business.”
‘Then why did you bring it up?!’ Holly wanted to scream.
Her heart abruptly skipped a beat, head shooting towards the door as it banged open…
…and Nisha and Kam walked in.
Jesus Christ.
Holly’s breath hitched.
She needed to lie down.
Kitty absently adjusted her guitar strap on her shoulder as she followed Beth towards the garage door. She knew Holly was already there; her car was parked outside. She resisted the urge to check her phone. Again. For the hundredth time since Tuesday night.
She told herself she was fine.
Two days without hearing from Holly didn’t mean anything — they weren’t the texting types, and it wasn’t like one night together suddenly made them…whatever. She didn’t do the whole morning-after feelings thing. And yet her stupid phone had become the most interesting object in Beth’s house for the last forty-eight hours.
The quiet had lodged under her skin like a splinter. Two days. Two days of replaying that night in flashes she couldn’t shut off, of remembering the heat in Holly’s voice, the way she’d practically melted under her hands, and the rare tenderness in her touch that made Kitty feel things she wasn’t used to feeling. And two days of absolutely nothing since.
That should’ve suited her.
Clean break. Easy.
Except…she didn’t want it to just be a clean break.
She couldn’t help wondering if Holly was okay. If she was overwhelmed. If she’d woken up the next morning and thought, ‘oh god, what did I do?’
Kitty rubbed her palms together, restless. She’d been telling herself she didn’t care either way, but the truth was she wasn’t used to not knowing what someone thought after being with her. Holly’s silence was a blank space she couldn’t read.
The not-knowing made her chest feel tight in a way she absolutely refused to name. And an annoyingly little part of her couldn’t stop hoping that wasn’t…it.
She really wasn’t done with Holly yet…
Her steps faltered, traitorous fingers twitching over her pocket; she grabbed her cigarettes…she certainly hadn’t been reaching for the phone.
“Go ahead — I’ll catch up,” she answered the questioning glance Beth shot over her shoulder.
“Ok,” Beth nodded. She didn’t seem to notice the slightly shrill edge in Kitty’s voice. Thank God.
As Beth headed inside, Kitty lit a cigarette and slumped against the wall, trying to force her heartbeat into something steadier.
She was fine. She didn’t do the insecure-after-sex thing — that belonged to people who got attached. She was only thinking about all this because it had been…intense. That was all. Bodies and heat and impulse.
Nothing emotional.
The cigarette didn’t last nearly long enough. And Kitty couldn’t hide out here forever. She straightened, rolled her shoulders back, forced her face into that practiced, bored neutrality. She could do normal. She could do unbothered. She’d been doing it her whole life.
If Holly was fine, Kitty could be fine too.
If Holly wasn’t…well, Kitty would just have to pretend she didn’t notice.
She took a breath, shook off the last of the nerves, and reached for the door — acting like she hadn’t just spent five minutes talking herself into something as simple as walking inside.