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“Oh my god, is that Seo Juntae? Juntae-yah!”
The night air was cold, but it had nothing to do with the chill that raked through Juntae’s body.
He had just gotten off the bus stop closest to Hyuntak’s house when he came across a group of boys from his middle school. In between taking drags of his cigarette, Minjun called out to Juntae from an alleyway. His friends littered the lane, smoking between pipes and flattened boxes. Juntae tried to ignore them, walking away pretending not to hear them, but they pulled him forcibly into their circle.
Juntae had been in this situation before. All of sudden, he was taken back to middle school, his days of being ridiculed and bullied. Beaten and abused. Muscle memory or self-preservation, Juntae’s body hunched in on itself at the sight of being surrounded by Minjun and his friends.
“Woah, Juntae! You’ve grown so much!” Minjun threw an arm around Juntae’s shoulders familiarly, a derisive smirk stretching across his face.
Juntae shrugged his arm off. He wasn’t the pushover they knew five years ago. “Leave me alone. I have somewhere to be.”
Siwoo laughed, clouds of smoke puffing out his mouth with every chuckle. “Chill, Juntae! We’re just catching up. Don’t be so uptight.”
Minjun grabbed his arm. “Yeah, Juntae-yah. Don’t you want to relieve old times?”
Juntae’s stomach churned; those words stirred up memories Juntae wanted to stay buried.
Juntae pulled his arm back violently; he didn’t have time for this. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he said, voice shaking with anger mixed with slight fear.
The group paused, taken aback.
“Wow, you’ve grown balls, Juntae!” Chanyeol laughed harshly from where he was squatted on the ground.
Minjun came right up to Juntae, glaring down at him. “‘Don’t touch me’?” Minjun brought a hand up and slapped his cheek, lightly. “Is that what you said? Huh? Say it again.” He slapped him harder; Juntae tried not to flinch.
Minjun’s face screwed up. “You dumbass,” he cursed. Desperate for a reaction, he punched Juntae in the face. “Who do think you are?”
Juntae crumpled as his glasses flew off, falling to the ground with a clatter. Red-hot pain seared across the side of his face and he hissed. The group’s laughter filled the alleyway as he fell.
He refused to stay down, straightening up as he tentatively pressed the back of his fingers to the mark.
Minjun watched him rise with an amused tilt of his head. “What?” he asked, seeing Juntae’s frustrated expression. “Are you going to hit me? Hm?”
I don’t have time for this, he thought. Tak-ah’s waiting for me.
Juntae didn’t make any movements towards Minjun. He just turned to leave the alley. He was only able to take a few steps out before someone pulled him back and threw him to the floor. The stoney ground was abrasive, cutting into his palms as he fell across it.
Juntae didn’t have the opportunity to reorientate himself before an endless tirade of school shoes and heavy boots came raining down on him. He cried out in pain. Instinctively, he brought his arms up to protect his head but they stomped on his abdomen and legs relentlessly.
Juntae could hear Siwoo snicker cruelly above him. “What the hell? You can’t even fight? What were you acting tough for?”
They stopped for a second, and Juntae willed his shaking arms to sit him up. Minjun kicked his shoulder firmly and he dropped to the ground again.
Minjun threw his cigarette down next to Juntae’s face and revelled in the way he flinched when he brought his foot down to stomp it out.
“Let’s go. This place is all dirty now.”
The group left. Juntae laid there for a few minutes, catching his breath and willing his heart to calm down. He tried to stand but stabbing pain shot through his muscles; he couldn’t move.
Tak-ah.
Juntae pushed to grab his phone from his pocket, gritting his teeth tightly through the pain. Pulling the phone to his face and squinting, he typed the message.
[Tak ❤️]
tak-ah!
im so sorry :( i wont be able to come over
Groaning, Juntae let his arm fall to the side. His face distorted—the aching in his legs was unbearable.
After a few moments of rest, he forced himself to get up. He found his glasses. He leaned against the wall to dust the dirt off his clothes. With wobbling knees, he inched towards the main street. He pushed back his sleeves and looked down at his arms. They were darkening with bruises forming—his face was surely in a similar situation.
The bus ride back to his house was quiet, as he failed to hold back the streams of tears that fell down his cheeks. He wiped them away but, each time he did, there were more escaping his eyes.
He could never admit it but Juntae thought about a day he faced those guys again. He thought he might be able to take them; he thought he had grown.
Juntae cursed his useless body. He would never be like Hyuntak or Baku, their height and athleticism making people hesitate before crossing him. Or Sieun, with enough pure rage and resolve that he could face anyone without fear.
He cried because it hurt—his injuries but also the fact he couldn’t do more for himself. The fact he was still weak.
Once he got home, he headed straight for his room, ignoring his mother’s concerned questions from the kitchen. He stripped in his bathroom mirror and took in his skin.
His stomach was covered in bruises, already blooming into patches of green and purple. Some of the abrasions had broken skin, causing bloody scratches to litter his abdomen. They looked as painful as they felt. His face wasn’t as bad—just his bright-red cheek still stinging from Minjun’s slap.
In the shower, he hissed as the warm water hit the bruises. When he finished, he changed into his pajamas, careful not to graze his injuries, and fell into bed.
He thought about telling Hyuntak. He picked up with his phone, opening their chat.
[Tak ❤️]
tak-ah!
im so sorry :( i wont be able to come over
aw ok
is everything alright?
He typed an honest reply. He deleted it. Then, he opened his phone app, thumb hovering over Hyuntak’s pinned contact.
He knew how Hyuntak would react. Juntae loved him but he also knew how impulsive Hyuntak could get, letting anger cloud his judgement and making decisions he may regret. They just got over all the Union stuff last year, Juntae didn’t want Hyuntak to get into any more trouble.
Not just Hyuntak, but any of them—Sieun and Baku too. That’s why they made a promise at the start of this school year.
No fighting. Even if it felt like there was no other option—there always would be.
Juntae closed his phone app. Sighing, he typed a message to Hyuntak.
[Tak ❤️]
is everything alright?
yeah, i just felt a bit sick
im fine tho!!
ill see you on monday ^^
Come Monday, the redness on his cheek had already faded. He hid his bruises under his uniform—the long sleeves of his blazer covered the injuries on his arms and his school shirt disguised the ugly patches on his stomach.
The pain didn’t fade, but Juntae would just have to bear it for now.
Baku spotted Juntae in the crowd entering the gates and called out to him; Hyuntak was already at his side. Juntae nervously adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves.
“Juntae!! Good morning!”
“Morning, Jun-ah.”
Once they were close enough, Hyuntak extended his arm out to him. Juntae threaded their fingers together.
Usually, Juntae would wrap his arm around Hyuntak’s, clinging to his side as they walked. But, he still found it painful to lift his arms up high enough to do that so he settled for holding hands.
Hyuntak looked down at him and Juntae held his breath, afraid of being discovered. Hyuntak just grinned and pinched his cheek.
“Jun, are you feeling better?”
Juntae nodded. “Mhm! I’m all good now.”
“Ok, I’m glad.” Hyuntak ruffled his hair. “Let’s go.”
Hyuntak led the way, pulling Juntae forward in a way that tugged on his bruises. He hid a wince and ignored the pain stretching along his abdomen as he followed Hyuntak into school.
Hyuntak POV
At lunch, Baku pushed them all out of the classroom.
“The weather’s nice today! Let’s play some ball,” he remarked, staring out the window at the sky excitedly.
They reached the staircase when Hyuntak noticed Juntae wasn’t with them.
“Wait, where’s Juntae?”
Sieun nodded towards the classroom. “He didn’t come out.”
Hyuntak looked down the corridor then back at Baku and Sieun. “I’m going to go get him. Head down first.”
“Okay,” Baku agreed. “Sieun-chan, let’s go, let’s go!” He lead a reluctant Sieun down the stairs.
Hyuntak returned to the classroom and found Juntae spacing out standing next to his desk, the exercise sheets he held folded limply in his hands. Hyuntak came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Juntae’s waist.
“Jun-ah, what are doing?”
Juntae jumped, twisting out of Hyuntak’s arms.
“Tak! You surprised me.” Juntae had already escaped to the other side of his desk.
Hyuntak’s brows furrowed in confusion but he didn’t say anything. “We were thinking of playing basketball. Baku and Sieun are already on the court. Do you want to play?”
“Oh—” Juntae’s eyes flicked to the side “—I think I’ll pass.” He gestured to the practice papers in his arms. “I’ll stay and study.”
Hyuntak’s frown deepened. “Are you sure?” He raised the back of his hand to Juntae’s forehead. “Are you still sick?”
“I’m fine, Tak-ah,” Juntae chuckled. “Just a little tired.”
Hyuntak nodded slowly, still unconvinced but not wanting to press it further. He pulled a chair up to Juntae’s table. “I’ll stay with you, then.”
Juntae shook his hands in front of his face frantically. “No, you don’t need to! Just go play, I’ll be fine here.”
“I don’t want to play basketball. I want to stay here with you.”
Juntae tilted his head down as he smiled. “It’s okay, Tak.” He paused, as if unsure. “I work better when it’s quiet.”
Juntae didn’t even sound like he believed that himself but Hyuntak could take the hint. Juntae didn’t want him around.
“Okay,” he said dejectedly. He reached for Juntae’s hand and squeezed as he stood up. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Juntae hummed in assent. “I’ll see you later, Tak.”
Juntae waved as he left, but something about his expression that seemed strained. Hyuntak couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong; he just couldn’t place it.
That strange feeling didn’t go away. Juntae was distant all day—not just to Hyuntak, but all of them.
It weighed on Hyuntak’s mind well into the afternoon. When Hyuntak kissed him goodbye, Juntae just hurried away to the bus stop, as if eager to get home.
That evening, no amount of twisting and turning eased the worries tumbling in his stomach. He stood up in his bed.
I’ll just go to his house. Just to see him quickly and make sure everything’s okay.
Juntae seemed surprised to greet him at his door. “Tak-ah? What are you doing here?”
Hyuntak tucked his hands in his pocket. “I just wanted to see you,” he said nonchalantly. “You didn’t seem like yourself at school.”
As far as he could tell, Juntae didn’t look sick—his face wasn’t flushed and his throat sounded clear. Just having him in front of his eyes lightened some of Hyuntak’s concerns.
Juntae stepped out of the way and Hyuntak entered.
“Are your parents here?” he asked, taking his shoes off.
“They’re asleep. Just come up.”
Juntae led him to his bedroom. Hyuntak loved being here—it smelled like Juntae and was always warm and tidy. Juntae sat on his bed delicately. Hyuntak followed, not as gently.
Hyuntak couldn’t help himself; he hugged Juntae tightly. “Tell me if something’s bothering you, okay?”
From his position, his head tucked into Juntae’s neck, he heard clearly as Juntae let out a pained yelp when he pressed against Hyuntak’s chest.
Hyuntak raised his eyebrows. Pulling his head back, he asked, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
Juntae shook his head repeatedly at that. That confirmed it, then.
“You’re hurt, aren’t you? Did someone bully you?” Hyuntak could feel his stomach heating at the possibility but he tried to keep his temper.
Juntae shook his head again. “No, Tak-ah.” He offered a meek smile. “I’m fine,” he claimed, unconciously wrapping his arm to cover his stomach.
Hyuntak caught the movement with keen eyes. A terrible thought flickered through his mind and he started pulling at Juntae’s shirt without warning.
Juntae batted at his hands. “Tak-ah, I’m fine! I promise!” he said, panicked, shuffling away.
Hyuntak overpowered him and lifted his shirt up completely.
“What the fuck?!”
Juntae’s stomach looked terrible. It had been colonised by large purple bruises spreading across his torso and wrapping around to his back. They looked so painful, some of them littered with yellow and blue.
“The thing is— Tak-ah, let me explain. Tak-ah,” Juntae stammered. “Tak-ah.”
How did Juntae manage to hide something so horrible? The bruises weren’t small, practically spanning the entirety of his abdomen, to the point there wasn’t any regular coloured skin to be seen. He remembered the way Juntae flinched away when Hyuntak touched his waist.
“Tak, listen to me.”
A image floated to his mind. Juntae getting cornered in the dark. Him trying to stand and getting kicked back down. An unrelenting stream of heavy boots descending on to his fragile body.
A muscle in his jaw tightened. He looked at Juntae’s face; he looked so anxious.
Hyuntak willed his voice to steady. “What happened?” he asked, the question strained with the rage he was fighting to hold back.
Juntae looked down, unable to meet Hyuntak's eyes. “When I was on my way to your house, I met some kids from my middle school next to the bus stop. I told them to leave me alone and— and then—”
Hyuntak took a deep breath. His arms started shaking.
He asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Hyuntak couldn’t control the way his voice raised. “Why!?”
Juntae’s lip quivered, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Tak,” he choked. “Tak-ah,” he pleaded, voice shaking. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
Juntae fisted his hands in Hyuntak’s hoodie. Hyuntak’s eyes softened.
Willing his temper to calm, he brought a hand to stroke Juntae’s cheek. “I’m not mad at you, Jun,” he explained. He clenched a fist. “I’m mad at whoever did this to you,”
Hyuntak wiped the tears away as they fell down Juntae’s face. Hyuntak decided Juntae crying must be the worst sound in the world.
“Does it hurt?”
Juntae gave a miserable smile. “It’s fine, I can barely feel it—“
“Stop lying to me, Jun.”
That pained smile froze on his face.
He rasped softly, “It hurts, Tak.”
Hyuntak’s heart broke.
Hyuntak was very familiar with treating bruises. While he was glad for his knowledge now, he wished Juntae never had needed it in the first place. He forced Juntae to lie down on the bed (he didn’t even know how he’d been moving normally up until this point) while he went to get an ice pack from the kitchen.
Luckily, Juntae’s house had multiple packs so Hyuntak could place more than one on his body at a time. Juntae sighed in relief. Hyuntak also placed bandages over the broken skin.
Once he finished, he climbed into bed with Juntae, lightly gathering him into his arms.
Hyuntak tightened his hold around him (as tight as he dared to, anyway). “If I ever see those guys—”
Juntae looked up with urgency. “You can’t, Tak. No fighting.”
Hyuntak huffed. “How could those guys attack my Jun and not die for it?”
“I’m serious, Tak.” Juntae’s face twisted in concern. “Promise me you won’t fight them.”
Hyuntak sighed and looked away in exasperation. He turned back and saw Juntae pleading to him with his eyes. He let out another sigh, defeated.
“Okay—” he kissed the top of Juntae’s head “—I promise.”
Hyuntak waited until Juntae’s breath evened out to a steady rhythm. After placing his head softly onto the pillow, Hyuntak slipped out the room. He took a house key from the entrance as he left, whispering a silent apology to Juntae’s parents.
It was a quick bus ride to the stop near his house—Hyuntak sat at the back of the bus, his fists clenched tightly in his pockets.
The bus arrived at his stop. He got off and starting walking in the direction of his house until he came across an alley.
It was empty. Hyuntak continued to the next one. He noticed the sound of boys laughing before he rounded the corner.
A group of teenagers about his age were littered around the alley. A disgustingly-large amount of smoke clouded the lane, suspended in the cold air.
One of the boys noticed Hyuntak standing there and snarled. “What? Do you want something?”
Hyuntak tongued his cheek, taking in the group. There was probably around six of them.
“Do you know Seo Juntae?” he asked, straightforwardly.
Another boy tilted his head. “Juntae? Oh yeah—” he blew out a mouthful of smoke “—we did see him the other day,” he laughed. “That was so fucking funny. Especially when—”
Hyuntak didn’t let him finish that thought—he punched him squarely in the jaw. He ignored the chorus of shocked noises that erupted and followed the kid to the ground. He grabbed his collar and continued pummelling his face. He didn’t stop until he heard a satisfying crunch and saw blood flowing out his nose.
Another boy lifted Hyuntak up by his armpits, pulling him violently away from his friend. Hyuntak rounded on him and pinned him to the wall. He punched him in stomach and kicked his legs, causing him to crumple to the ground.
“What the fuck—?”
A hand fell onto his shoulder and twisted him around. Hyuntak pushed the hand off and kicked the boy in the chest. He stumbled back and Hyuntak caught the way he hesitated to approach him again.
Hyuntak looked around at the rest of boys in the alleyway. He should really beat them all to death.
“I’m serious, Tak. Promise me you won’t fight them.”
Hyuntak closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself.
“Don’t fucking touch him,” he spat. “Or you’re all dead.
He kicked one of the boys on the ground again for good measure.
Hyuntak left the alleyway. He glanced at his phone; it was only 11:30.
Juntae should still be asleep. Hopefully. He should be able to make it back before Juntae realised he was gone.