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“Do you trust me?” Philip asked her, laughing as he held a needle with a bit of tattooing ink on the tip poised over her left wrist at the ready.
“We’ve only known each other 4 days, of course I don’t!” Charlotte said, but she was laughing as well, excited about the possibilities of what he would mark on her skin, and even more excited by the fact that despite it being only 4 days, she really did trust him.
Philip shrugged in response and grinned with mischief “then i guess you’ll just have to trust me” and went to work.
Charlotte’s fingers danced delicately over the still ginger skin on the edge of her left wrist, where under ointment and redness were two simple letters “P.H.” It was a horrible tattoo really, and if the situation had been different then she probably would have regretted having ever allowed an 18 year old to giver her a stick n’ poke tattoo especially of his own initials. But the situation was not different. It was exactly what it was and Charlotte hated herself for it.
Philip found her in the courtyard outside the venue of what had been Lafayette’s 35th birthday party, one which Charlotte had painstakingly planned but after breaking up with her long-time boyfriend she was left a puddle of tears surrounded by trees covered in twinkling fairy lights.
“Charlie?” Philip asked, walking carefully towards her.
Charlie. Charlotte loved that nickname more than she’d care to admit.
“Its nothing” she shook herself out of it, unwilling to admit the way that Philip made her feel and that the closer he got to her, the faster her heart beat.
Philip knew it wasn’t nothing and he sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her, not saying anything. He knew what was wrong. He knew that he was partially to blame for her being in her current situation. But he wouldn’t apologize for it, apologize for the love he held for her, apologize for the fact that they’d kissed, and gone farther than kissing the night before, he wouldn’t do it because it would be a lie. He didn’t regret any of it.
“I’m not sorry” Philip whispered in her ear “but i am sorry that you’re sad.”
Charlotte didnt respond. She was too busy going through the past week in her mind. First meeting him, had been bliss. Never had she gotten so close to a person in such a quick time, talking to them all day long every day, trusting them with every habit and every secret, and not getting tired of them once. It was so easy with someone like Philip. He was kind, passionate, genuine, and most importantly- fun. They could sit on the couch watching a movie and somehow Philip could make make it seem like the most entertaining thing in the world.
‘But you shouldn’t have done any of it’ she thought to herself ‘not when you had a boyfriend.’
Tears stung at the edges of her vision again. She closed her mouth tightly and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from coming but Philip still heard the small sobs coming from her and hugged her closer, running a hand over her head.
“At least now we can be together” he told her.
She immediately tensed up in his grip and started shaking, breathing coming in shallow and quick paced, negative thoughts coursing through her head, blaming herself for every interaction her and Philip had had, blaming Philip for the end of her relationship, blaming Peggy for even introducing her to Philip, blaming Angelica for influencing her to apply to Columbia and even be caught up in this mess. She shoved him away and got to her feet, tugging at the her hair.
“Charlie?” Philip sounded so concerned that she finally broke.
“You are not allowed to sound that concerned for me!” she all but shouted into his confused face “you are not allowed to sound anything for me, because we are nothing to each other.” his confusion grew.
“Whatever we had, was a mistake!” her voice began to raise level and Philip’s face turned from confusion to pain “I can’t believe I ever had a thing for you! What was I thinking?” she pulled at her hair with more strength until she had to hold her hands at her sides, balled up in tight fists as her abuse continued.
Even in the moment she knew what she was saying was wrong, but she couldn’t help it “you are just a child!”
That seemed to put the Earth back in order, her breathing came in normal and her heart was back to hurting, no longer beating fast. But Earth couldn’t be back in order, because Philip was looking down, his hair shielding his eyes, and he wasn’t smiling.
“Fine. If that’s the way you want it.” Philip had said and marched away.
And as he walked away Charlotte finally saw his tear streaked face.
That had been 6 days ago now. Charlotte had not left her room except to use the bathroom or get more food, her bed was a mess or discarded water bottles, Little Debbie wrappers, and tissues that were damp with tears for Lafayette and Philip. She hadn’t seen or heard from Philip, whenever she left her room he was nowhere to be seen, and she was glad for that.
Suddenly, the door to her bedroom was thrown open and in came her “friends”, Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Angelica Schuyler, Eliza Skyler, Thomas Jefferson, and even her ex-boyfriend Gilbert Lafayette who threw themselves upon her bed. None of them seemed to pay any mind to her slovenly appearance or the state of her bed, they seemed to be more intent on bothering the crap out of her.
Charlotte didn’t say anything, surprisingly free of alarm.
“Sweety, honey” Angelica said, stroking Charlotte’s hair gently “I know you’ve been having a tough time, but It’s time for you to stop being mopey in bed and get pretty.”
Charlotte groaned in response to the word ‘pretty’ and opened her eyes a centimeter “I just went through a breakup, i'm allowed to lay in bed and cry” and she buried head deeper into her pillow.
“Yeah but that’s not why you’re sulking” Angelica said.
Charlotte’s voice was muffled by her pillow “You don't know that.”
“Honey, NASA knows that” Laurens patted what he assumed to be her leg, and he was proven right when she kicked him.
“What he means” Hamilton said, giving his best friend a flat look “is that it’s time to get up so you can go get your man back”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Charlotte groaned and sat up, rubbing her face.
“Philip” Angelica said simply.
Charlotte felt a pang in her chest and started redoing her messy hair bun so she could cover her face “what about him? I haven’t talked to him in days.”
“Lottie, he’s leaving” Laurens said “Herc and Peggy are taking him to the airport right now. He’s going back to Chicago.”
Charlotte tensed up and felt tears prick the corners of her eyes, she tightened her bun and sniffled “That-that’s so great for him, I’m sure he’ll be happy going back to his friends.”
There was a collective groan from the occupants of her bed and Charlotte found an extra pillow being thrown at her head from the gorgeous Frenchman “Honestly?” his accent became thicker, the way it did when he was agitated “You dumped me for this guy and you’re not even going to try to be with him? Lottie, I don’t know if you know this but- i am very hot! I’ve never been broken up with in my life and then ici vient cette petite merde et pas plus Lafayette, il va poof.”
“All right, all right, take it down a notch Frenchy” Jefferson said patting him on the shoulder “but he’s right though.”
“Lafayette is very hot” Charlotte nodded, her hair tie received an extra twist and she got another pillow thrown at her, this time from Angelica.
“You know that’s not what we mean. You and Philip are meant to be-”
Charlotte’s hair tie snapped and so did she “no, we’re not! Okay?” she all but screamed “I’m not good enough for him. I’ll just hurt him and bring him down” her voice began to crack and she covered her face with her hands, digging the heel into the sockets of her eyes.
“Besides” she sniffled “I’ll be graduating soon, and he’s just starting college. He’s barely getting his life together and he should be with someone his own age.”
There was silence all around, most of the people in the room had never seen her cry and the only ones who had were because they were very close to her and had spent long nights by her side but certainly never seen her cry over something as trivial as a boy. Surprising everyone, the first one to speak was arguably the largest asshole in the room, but unsurprising, he was giving her a flat look.
“Charlotte, honey” Jefferson said “you’re 23-”
“20” Lafayette interjected.
“-not 40, you definitely don't have your life together yet. You’re barely getting your life together too and you’re like 6 years older than him.”
“2” Angelica corrected.
“I’m like a year older than you and I’m still getting my life together”
“Four. You’re 4 years older than her- seriously, why is he here?!” Hamilton asked angrily, looking at everyone, expecting a response from someone .
“Point is” It was Laurens’ turn to give his friend a flat look “Jefferson’s right, we’re all barely getting our lives together so you can’t let something stupid like age get in the way.”
Charlotte sighed and looked around before setting her eyes on her blanket-covered toes “but what if he says no?” she whispered “I called him a child, i made him feel so horrible.”
Eliza placed a hand on Charlotte’s leg and gave her a kind smile “Then you move on. But... you owe it to yourself and to Philip.”
There was silence for a few minutes, as Charlotte thought through her friends’ words. While she loved Philip and was willing to do anything to get him back, she felt so horrible and didn’t want to inflict anymore pain to him. Finally, she sighed and nodded, slowly getting out of bed “I guess it’s time to get out of bed.”
There was a collective cheer from everyone in the room except from Alexander, who’s eyes were glued to his phone, thumbs tapping away “You better figure out what you’re gonna say and get ready quick. Peggy, Herc and Philip just got out of security.”
Charlotte’s eyes widened and they flew to Angelica who had the same look on her face, Angelica gave a curt nod and raced to Charlotte’s closet, set on picking the perfect outfit for what was sure to be a dramatic reunion while Charlotte flew to the bathroom, brushing her teeth furiously while Eliza bustled around her, brushing her hair and dabbing at food stains on her face.
“I’ll get the taxi!” Lafayette yelled and ran out of the apartment.
“I’ll see if there’s an uber nearby” Jefferson tapped away at his phone.
“I’ll check Lyft” Laurens pulled out his phone as well.
“I’ll get updates” Hamilton didn’t look up from his own phone.
Charlotte flew out of the bathroom and Angelica thrust a pair of jeans into her hands but before she had time to put them on, Lafayette burst back into the apartment yelling something in French that Charlotte took to mean “Taxi’s here!” and so she ran down the 3 flights of steps down to the street, with Eliza chasing after her holding a pair of Adidas sneakers. Lafayette held open the taxi’s door and Hamilton, Jefferson, Laurens, himself and Eliza squeezed into the back seat, while Angelica and Charlotte squeezed into the passenger’s seat.
“Monsieur, I will give you $200 to get to the airport as quickly as possible” Lafayette said, thrusting 2 crispy Ben Franklins through the window separating the driver and the back
“Deal” and all the revolutionary crew could do was hang on to dear life as the taxi tore off and zoomed impossibly quickly in and out of traffic.
“Lafayette!” Jefferson yelled but strangely everyone else in the car didn't have a moment to spare thinking about the speeding car, they were all yelling suggestions at Charlotte who was struggling to put her jeans on in a moving vehicle and Alexander was yelling out updates.
“Herc made Philip take a bathroom break!”
“What if you get a boom box and just hold it up-”
“Ooh or you could like drive a fricken lawn mower into the airport-”
“Isn’t that like a deadly weapon?”
“But if we don’t make it, we could get on another airplane and then meet him there and as he’s coming out of the airport hold up a sign-”
“We WILL make it!” Angelica turned around so fast, a normal person’s neck would’ve cricked but she just had fire in her eyes as she stared Jefferson down “and we will not have that kind of negative talk while operation Charlip is underway!”
Jefferson’s eyes widened and he got a fearful look in his eye as he simply nodded.
“But we’re not going to make it!” Charlotte yelled, pulling at her hair.
“Yes we will!” Angelica shook her a bit too roughly “stay positive!” her fingers dug dangerously into Charlotte’s arms who nodded slightly fearfully as well and put her foot up on the dashboard to put on her Adidas.
“Philip’s plane is delayed 15 minutes!” Hamilton announced and they all cheered but it turned out the extra time was just cake because the taxi came to a screeching halt in front of the departure gate.
“Nice doing business with you” the taxi driver grinned, staring at his money “now get out.”
Again, Lafayette started yelling in French but Charlotte was running out of the car, pulling on an olive green cardigan over her grey tank top.
“Gate 377!” Hamilton yelled, right behind her.
“This would be faster if i had a- hey kid!” Charlotte yelled at a 12 year old that she passed, with a skateboard strapped to his backpack. Not bothering with a response, she grabbed the board and stuck it under her feet, (the kid yelled out a few curse words but was silenced when Lafayette threw another Franklin at him), cruising past the check in area and speeding through the security checkpoints.
“Charlotte his plane’s boarding!” Hamilton yelled as loudly as he could, struggling to breathe after not running since 9th grade gym class (Angelica and Jefferson were putting money on when he would collapse.)
As she approached Gate 365 Charlotte hopped onto a moving walkway with her skateboard and all making her go even faster.
Gate 371…. 373… 375.. 377!
Her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for Peggy’s yellow hoodie that Hercules had gotten her for her last birthday and when she found it, sure enough Philip was standing next to her with his curly hair smushed down by his customary baseball cap pulled low over his eyes and holding a carry on suitcase. Or well, more like Peggy was hugging him and Philip was standing there looking like he would like to be anyone but himself in that moment. He finally got her off him, and got in line to board the plane.
“Philip!” Charlotte yelled before she had time to think twice and jumped over the armrest of the moving walkway.
Philip turned around with a confused expression, and when his eyes landed on her a few emotions crossed his face in a very few seconds: 1. Confused 2. Ecstatic 3. Enamored 4. Hurt 5. Cold.
“What do you want?” he asked, running his tongue over his top lips in an attempt to seem tough.
A beat passed.
“You” Charlotte whispered “I-I want you”
And if this were a Rom-Com, this would be the moment in which Philip dropped his suitcase, ran over to her, placed his hands on either side of her face and pulled her in for a brilliant kiss. But this isn’t a romance movie in which one of them messes up, and in a dramatic airport scene one of them admits they were wrong and they then kiss and make up passionately and the credits roll. No, this is real life, where sometimes words just arent enough.
Philip shook his head and turned around “It’s too late for that.”
Peggy looked at the scene with tears in her eyes, when her brother turned to face her she smiled at him and put a hand gently on his shoulder, while giving Charlotte a sad smile. At the same moment that Angelica and the rest of the revolutionary crew finally arrived, and Charlotte’s heart began to break all over again.
Tears threatened to spill from Philip’s eyes and Charlotte already had a few running down her face when Angelica placed a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder as a sign of comfort.
“I’m sorry sweetie-” she was cut off by Charlotte singing so softly, the others almost didn’t hear her, but Philip certainly did.
“What the heck i gotta dooooo to be with you?” Charlotte sang and Philip’s retreating back tensed under his sister’s fingers.
“Philip?” Peggy asked, concern and surprise evident in her tone.
“ Who do I have to be for you to be with me?” Charlotte sang, slightly louder, willing her voice not to break in her desperate attempt at getting the man of her dreams back.
Angelica looked from Eliza to Peggy, Charlotte’s room mates who had definitely heard Charlotte and Philip singing and dancing to this song at 2 in the morning at all volumes. If there were ever a time in their life that they would break out into song as if they were in “College Musical” now was that time.
“Who do i have to beeee?” Angelica, Eliza and Peggy sang in harmony.
“You told her all this in class?” Alexander supplied
Charlotte smiled through her tears and turned to him “Yeah. Well, i texted him!” she said with a laugh “Y'know, I was like, what the heck I gotta do to be with you?” she did a crude imitation of someone texting on a cell phone.
“L-O-L-O-L-O-L” Laurens, Lafayette and Jefferson sang, copying Charlotte.
“What the heck i gotta dooo to be with you?” Charlotte sang.
“R-O-F-L-O-L!” her friends seemed to be enjoying themselves more than the situation called for.
“Who do i have to be, for you to be with me?” Charlotte hoped that Philip would sing in his part, but he still had his back turned to her so Hercules jumped in, grabbing Philip by the shoulders and singing into his face.
“Smiley Face” he put a giant smile on his face like a dad when they’re trying to get their toddler to stop crying.
“Yes!” Charlotte sang “Next thing you know, we're talking all day and night I can’t get him out of my room but I trust him right away so i don’t exactly mind” and she hoped Philip wouldn't exactly mind her change of the lyrics.
“Like, whoa!” all her friends sang this part.
Charlotte started walking towards Philip, but he still didn’t turn around “ Hey, yo. I never met anyone like him, bro. Yo, he listens to all my problems. He thinks i'm beautiful. And then he lay it all on the line. And I was like—” she said the last part rather than sing it, but she had to address the pain she’d caused him. There was no other way to it.
“No, no-” Angelica and Peggy sang softly.
“No! I didn’t say no exactly, more like ‘go away’” Charlotte cringed but carried on “and yeah i'm surprised, he’s a pretty great guy but i messed up.”
“So? So?”
“So i decided i gotta step my game up. It’s too late to be shy, when you’re apologizing” Charlotte sang and threw her arms up at her sides, singing at the top of her lungs “So i raced to the airport, stole a kid’s skateboard, came up to this gate and serenaded him. I was like: what the heck i gotta doooo to be with you?”
“What the heck i gotta do?” Angelica, Peggy and Eliza sang at a normal volume while Charlotte continued yelling.
“Who the heck i gotta beeee for you to go out with me?!”
“You asked him out?” Angelica asked, sounding genuinely surprised.
“Yeah” Charlotte allowed herself a small laugh despite the tears still coming from her eyes “I’ll pay and everything!”
“Philip!” her friends sang, Peggy getting teary eyed for a different reason even though her brother still had his back to the musical number going on behind him.
“Philip I know there’s a reason you were brought here to me” Charlotte sang softly.
“Philip” her friends sang in the same tone.
“Philip, I know there's a reason this isn't luck, it's destiny” Charlotte sang softly again and her friends repeated Philip’s name in the same tone “Philip, you know me better than anyone” she continued, without singing “so will you go on a date with me?” she pleaded, now standing right behind him.
“I’ll think about it” Philip whispered, and Charlotte’s heart skipped a beat.
He turned around slowly, and she saw that he had tears flowing down his face but a wide smile that grew as he pulled her to him and gently placed his lips on to her own. It was their third kiss, but Charlotte was intent on filling this one with much more passion than either of their previous ones, as tears streamed down both of their faces, he grabbed onto her as if for dear life and she buried her hands into his curly head of hair that she loved so much.
Fireworks went off in the back of both their eyelids and they even heard bells and cheering which were actually there since their friends, and all the other people who had been waiting to board the plane began clapping and cheering for the young couple.
“So is it still a ‘you’ll think about it’?” Charlotte asked with a giggle, resting her forehead on Philips’ when they finally pulled apart, lips tingling and broad with smiles.
“Well, i unlike you don’t like changing the lyrics of songs” Philip smirked “but if you want to be frank, then my answer is” he leaned in and whispered into her lips “yes” and he gave her another small peck, followed by several more pecks all over her face making her giggle and push him away slightly then she remembered the important business she needed to attend to.
“Philip” Charlotte said softly, trying not to cry again after having been given so much happiness “i don’t want to influence your decision to leave or stay but… i think New York is a lot better for you, i mean- why are you looking at me like that?”
Philip was smiling down at her in a knowing way. When she questioned him, he just laughed and kissed her forehead “I know New York is better for me. My sister’s here, my best friend is coming to school here in a couple months, I accepted my NYU baseball scholarship…”
“That’s great!” Charlotte burst in, unable to control her excitement and kissed him on the cheek “but i thought you were going back to Chicago?!”
Philip laughed again and waved it off “I was just going back to pack up my stuff then i was gonna back and move in with Alex, Laurens and Hercules.”
Charlotte got a murderous look in her eye and turned to look at the aforementioned men with fire in her eyes all of whom were suddenly very interested in their fingernails. Philip placed a hand on her chin, and turned her back to face him “But i think I’ll let Theo take care of my packing. I’ve found someone much more important” he leaned down and placed another kiss on her lips.
~
“Okay so i stayed up late to come to the airport just to hear a musical number!” Hercules grumbled.