Chapter Text
007n7 sat still against his bedframe, the air conditioner that sat below his dorm window humming gently. The hand on the clock reading 11:43PM. His phone laying next to him, a sense of dread deep within his throat.
He clicked on his phone, its dim brightness still taking him aback. No notifications. The prior day had him dreading every text with Noli, although he still checked. He knew nothing new would appear, yet he still clicked on his messages with them.
Only the previous argument. Previous? He was unsure if Noli was busy— ignoring him, or waiting for seven to text again. He gripped his phone harder with his hand, the volume buttons being picked with his nails. Something, anything, to get a text back.
Sev hated confrontation. Especially when he knew the truth. He was in the wrong; an argument caused by a broken light fixture in his shared dorm room, all because he put it off.
Noli was out with friends, again. It seemed like they were just itching for a reason to leave, never spending quality time to feed 007n7’s swept away feelings.
The phone displayed a series of dots, mixed thoughts driving him to the edge, possibilities ripping through his mind. Noli was finally typing.
| NOLI: you keep on working on that stupid project instead of me
I wanted to finish the gui so you would think it was cool.
Sev eased himself, eyes wandering through the mess of a room he had. Clothes scattered everywhere, dust filled the uneven rows of blank space between past due papers he never completed.
He tapped the back of his phone screen, deleting and retyping messages he’d never dare to send. No friends to call didn't help with any built up resentment he’d have.
His thumb hovered over the keyboard, the glowing letters blurring from his eyes that wouldn’t focus.
What was he supposed to say?
He scratched at his phone, letting his head sink into the mattress behind him, while the wood frame etched at the back of his shirt slowly as he melted back.
| 007N7: I wasn't ignoring anything.
| 007N7: I was busy.
He stared at the dry message. Guilt grappling into his heart, the pulse of it increasing in speed. Sharp exhales came from him as he sunk into the floor, the rug he had pushing back even more.
Cold air rushed through the air conditioner once more, his eyes aiming upwards to the ceiling. The dark room ran quieter as the rustling of the cooling unit halted, the clock still clicking.
The three dots appeared.
Blink.
Disappear.
Reappear.
| NOLI: i just wish youd be able to see me some day
He curled forward, elbows pressing into his knees. The room felt colder. Or, he finally noticed how cold it was without Noli there. It's fine. He was used to their absence.
I see you more than you know, Noli.
n7 typed a message he knew he wouldn’t send.
| 007N7: I care for you. I just wish you would reciprocate these feelings. For once, I mean.
The flashing bar made him want to add more. More fuel to the fire. Messages that he would never dare to send flooded his mind,
Maybe he did always want more. Maybe he didn't understand how to care for someone else. Not just himself.
| NOLI: i thought the coolgui was our thing. does it really mean more than our friendship ????
007n7 was taken aback, largely. It stinged. His bitter, raw feelings finally out.
Maybe he’s just mad at me. Fine. Then so be it.
Sev’s own thoughts felt like injury. He pressed one hand to the top of his mattress that was laying against and rose to his feet. The dorm was still, he kicked the mess out of the way to his desk and dug through unfinished projects, grabbing a pen and his english notebook.
He dragged the pen across the page in broken strokes, the ink fading out every other curve. His phone lay on the tabletop on his other hand, screen facing upwards. Sev turned to a clean page, and began to copy the message down.
The words were shaky, frantic, scribbly. They were just— something, anything, to get his unfiltered thoughts out. However, the notebook had a familiar charm. Classes where Nols had copied off his notes, classes where they would doodle in the corner of Seven’s pages as a way to gently mess with him.
N7 would stand up straight after curving forward to write in his notes, looking back at the page, extra words added that he wished he could have accused them.
He drew out a long exhale before making his way back to his bed, this time actually setting himself onto the bed instead of beside it. It had missing sheets— the cold under sheet blank with his comforter piled atop of itself. He extracted the phone out from his pocket once again, the notification screen blank.. again.
He needed to respond this time. Maybe Noli was right. Uncertain, yes, but he needed to say something back. Be the ‘bigger’ person in this situation, seven.
The old message was still there. Taunting. Waiting for him. Even seeing it felt unease tensing up in his body, a rock deep in his chest. “i thought the coolgui was our thing. does it really mean more than our friendship ????”
It rang through 007n7’s head, his eyes blinking faster as a way of distraction.
| 007N7: You don’t even give me the chance to prove that it doesn't.
The message hurt to read. It wasn't even aimed at himself— it was the literal opposite. Plus, why should he be so guilty when Noli was being so numb in the first place?
He felt a panging feeling of wrongdoing, drawn to write another text. His fingers guided the keyboard slowly, the drowsienees finally catching up to him.
| 007N7: I’m not going to classes tomorrow. I’ll find something else to do before they start.
The bare thought of him giving Noli at least some sort of ‘reassurance’ brought him consultation.
Maybe, just now, he could find a moment to spare that fellow feeling. Even if it wasn’t for long.