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There's only one thing Namgyu and Thanos envy. The act of doing.
They have never been able to do what they really liked, the only thing they have always been able to do is watch, learn, hear, feel, but never do.
Namgyu looked at Thanos, who was spinning around on the center of the living room staring and appreciating what they had around. It wasn't their house, they actually didn't have one nor could have. They were staying at this guy's house— what was his name, again? Namgyu can't quite remember, all he knows is that this guy sits in front of the computer for hours talking about some kind of coin, and how he tries a little too hard to get people to invest on it. They hate him. They hated him for having the kind of life they wanted.
He doesn't understand, never does, can't even see what that guy does— and he wishes he could, wishes he could use the computer as if it was his, to search for things he liked, for stuff he has always been curious to know more about. But he can't.
Not as a cockroach.
"All this is gonna be ours soon." Thanos' antennas vibrated and moved as he talked to him, their way to communicate (and the only way they could). Namgyu wasn't able to nod, nor smile at him, or even grab his hand while he looked him in the eyes. All he could do was stare at him and talk. Nothing fucking else.
"Are you sure our plan is gonna work?" He replied, hesitant. His antennas also moving and vibrating as he talked, slightly touching Thanos' on the process to feel him a little more, just like he always did.
"Hey. All this pathetic human does all day is talk to the computer without receiving a single reply. He sure isn't hard to fight with." One of Thanos' antennas wrapped one of his own, like a hug, but Namgyu wishes he could give Thanos a real hug. "Besides, we are two, he's one. He's at disadvantage."
"Yeah. Okay."
But he's like a fucking titan, Namgyu wanted to say. But he trust Thanos, and he knows Thanos is somewhat smart.
This guy. This fucking human. Thanos and him have been living in his house for 3 months and for the entirety of that time this dude has tried to hurt and kill them every single time he sees them.
"Ew!" he'd scream while stepping on Thanos, who is always quick to react first and flatten himself before running away. "Cockroaches again?!" as he searches for some kind of bottle with which he then sprays them and it fucking smells, hurts to breathe it in and it makes his whole body shrink and hurt. Would yell "These ugly cockroaches keep wandering around my house" over the phone and Namgyu knows for a fact that if he were able to actually put some clothes on he'd have way better sense of fashion than this guy.
"He's gonna arrive soon." Thanos said while looking at the clock hanging on the wall, they didn't know how to see the time, they also didn't know how to read, but the human arrives home every time the smaller thing that moves around the clock is pointing completely down. "Remember the plan? He arrives, we wait for him to take his shoes off and we attack."
Namgyu showed his discomfort by moving his antennas away from Thanos' when he tried to intertwine them.
"Why don't we just go back to our little place in this house and stay there? We can come out when he's not here, during night, we can keep enjoying ourselves like we have been doing."
"No." Thanos narrowed his big, black eyes. "He tried to kill you multiple times and I won't allow you going through that ever again. I want us, you specifically to have a better, peaceful life here. Where you can use the computer you always look at and search all the stuff you have told me, where we can use that big television the human has and watch whatever we want without him changing the channel not even ten minutes after choosing something to watch."
If only Namgyu could cry to show Thanos how grateful, happy and loved he felt. But he would do it the only way he could; intertwining their antennas, and fighting by his side, with all the strength he had, even if he had to pay with his own life— he would be happy to die by Thanos' side.
The vibrations of the keys trying to unlock the principal door startled them, and they were fast to hide under the big couch before the human could see them.
"We have a lot of things to our benefit. We are fast, and our bites can get infected, he's gonna end up crying like a fucking nymph." Namgyu didn't have ears, so all he could do to imagine what Thanos' laugh sounded like was stare at how his antennas moved and vibrated with malicious intents.
The human finally took his shoes off, but Thanos gave him a little tap with his antenna as a sign to wait until he came by closer, or stayed still, as the human kept wandering around the house.
Namgyu wanted to say something, anything, just in case something happened. But Thanos seemed to be hyper focused on what the human did and where he moved so he could tell Namgyu when to attack.
He wanted to trust Thanos— he did, he just didn't trust in himself.
He's gonna somehow fuck it up, he's gonna somehow ruin the whole plan and have both of them killed on the spot. He shivered. His whole body trembled in fear about the idea of losing Thanos, of leaving him alone, on his own— he wanted to grab Thanos with his antenna and stop him, convince him and make him believe that he was genuinely happy with what they had, but he didn't have time to do it as Thanos' antennas vibrated to say;
"Now, Gyu! Attack!" He didn't had time to react, Thanos was faster and already was running towards the human who was standing in the kitchen.
Despite trembling of fear, despite feeling anxious, Namgyu hurried and sprinted behind Thanos, whose little and purple lock of hair swayed as he ran— just like his, or he assumes, small strands of black hair that Thanos always made sure to caress with his antennas.
They arrived to the human's feet and started attacking. Used their mandibles to bite not one, not two, but multiple times without stopping. The human started to move, moving his feet and trying to get them off but they were stronger and held on place with their legs, still biting and moving their antennas to communicate while they did.
“Keep going! He's moving! He's gonna start running away soon!"
"It's working! I can't— I mean, I knew it! I knew we could do it!"
If only Namgyu could smile, he would have the biggest smile drawn in his face. It was actually working. Thanos— they were gonna be able to do whatever the fuck they wanted in there.
But the human was able to push them after trying so hard, and they took that time to recover from the impact before they started running towards him again.
"Don't give up! A few more times and he's gonna leave!" Thanos' antenna caressed his back as they ran, and Namgyu intertwined them before they crashed into something.
Namgyu looked around, trying to walk towards the human again, whose feet were extremely close to him and covered in bites that were already red. But no matter how much and how hard he tried to walk to them he kept bumping against something he couldn't see.
"Thanos?" His antennas vibrated, but Thanos' didn't back. And they didn't for a long time while Thanos kept walking around and moving, probably trying to find a way out. "What's this? What's happening?"
Thanos turned around to look back at him, his antennas that were usually up were now facing down, shivering and sending vibrations that Namgyu couldn't quite understand. All he was able to get out of it, was a scared I'm not sure.
They couldn't do anything as the human kept moving around the kitchen. namgyu gave it a tought, and apparently they were trapped into some kind of invisible box.
He got closer to Thanos, who didn't dare to look at him in the eyes. Maybe disappointed on himself, scared to face Namgyu. But since he wasn't able to just turn his head to a side like humans did, he was completely turning his back to him.
"I'm gonna get both of us out of here." Namgyu said, caressing Thanos' body with his antenna. "Just give me some time and I can—"
"Did you see his fucking face while we bit him?" Why is that important now, Namgyu thought internally. But didn't say anything back. "It really was hilarious. He was screaming so much, though I know you can sense it i just wish you could have been able to see it Hear, even."
The almost invisible thing they were trapped in, was slightly lifted as they were talking. Namgyu turned around to see what was happening and why, maybe they could now run, maybe the human would set them free and they could run, but as soon as he did he was sprayed with that horrible and painful spray right into his eyes.
"Fuck!" Him and Thanos whined at the same time, Namgyu closing his eyes in pain and trying to cover them with his antennas as Thanos got closer to check on him.
"Fuck! Gyu! Are you ok?" Namgyu wasn't able to reply as the human kept spraying more and more of that killing thing inside of whatever they were stuck on right now.
Thanos hissed in pain as the liquid got on his body, as the spray covered their surroundings making everything hurt.
The natural thing to do was run, as insects they were and as the insecticide affected their nervous system, agitating them to make them naturally run, to escape. Yet they didn't. Namgyu stayed still, trying to get closer to Thanos, searching for protection, and Thanos also stayed by his side. Despite being in pain, despite their instincts yelling at them to run, they stayed together.
"I can't!— I can't see!" Namgyu could barely communicate, his antennas shivering in pain making their communication difficult, just like Thanos' who was struggling the same, not letting go of Namgyu.
They held each other for a while before Thanos crawled on top of him to cover and protect him from the human that finally stopped spraying them after the longest seconds of their lifes. Everything hurt. Their legs, eyes, antennas, their bodies— it was difficult to even move.
This was it. If only he bit stronger, faster— maybe they could have made it. Maybe they could have gotten that human out of his own house and have a peaceful and nice life, not having to hide whenever he was around.
Namgyu couldn't move. He tried to so he could be closer to Thanos, but his legs were bended and his body stopped replying to his instructions completely, could barely move his antennas to communicate with Thanos, who might be in the same situation because he hadn't say anything yet.
"Thanos? Are you—"
"I really wanted to give you a nice life." Namgyu could barely understand what Thanos was trying to say, as his antennas were also shivering in pain, "I wanted us to be able to do whatever we wanted. I wanted you to be happy."
"I am." Namgyu replied as fast and understandable he could. "I'll always be happy no matter where we are, just as long— as I'm with you."
"Even as cockroaches?"
"Even as cockroaches."
Namgyu could swear he felt a tear leave his eye, or maybe it was the insecticide sliding down his body. Whatever it was, for a moment it felt good— it felt good to have the illusion he was actually able to cry. Like a human.
You would have been the best musician, Thanos, Namgyu wanted to say. But all his antennas were able to do was weakly wrap Thanos' wet and still body.
Your smile would have been the warmest smile of them all, Namgyu, Thanos wished he could've been able to communicate. But he had to settle with being able to enjoy Namgyu's weak, but comforting hug before he was unable to feel and sense anything else.
Namgyu always wished to be by Thanos' side, no matter what, no matter the situation, the place, the conditions. He'd be happy. And that wish was granted to him.
