Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Something Like Understanding
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Sasuke had never been more sure about anything in his life other than his hatred for Naruto Uzumaki.
Ever since he met him in stupid elementary school, on a silly Tuesday, sitting on that foolish swing. He knew he hated him.
“Well, are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?” Naruto didn’t meet his eyes. He continued to stare at his feet, which he was mindlessly kicking back and forth in a lame attempt to make the swing go.
“The least you could do is make fun of me like all the other kids.”
Sasuke was heartless. He’s known that since a very young age. He had no one. So why should he even try to make anyone like him? He would ultimately ruin that relationship, just like everything else. So what was the point?
“I'm not an idiot. You’re no more pitiful than I am. Who would I be to judge someone like you when I'm no better myself?”
Naruto looked up at that. Having received a much different response than expected. Sasuke turned and left. That night, the image of the small blonde, sitting on the swing alone, was permanently burned in his brain. Every day at school, Sasuke would see him and feel something so warm that his cold body didn’t know how to react.
At the age of thirteen, two years after Sasuke had first spoken to Naruto, most kids began to hit puberty. Naruto became more reckless, and Sasuke became more vulnerable, it seemed. Naruto got into more trouble than before, and by the time they were in 6th grade, the entire population of Konoha had a problem with Naruto.
For some god-awful reason, anytime Sasuke would catch a glimpse of Naruto, running down the street with an apple hanging out of his mouth, an old man running after him, screaming that this was the third time this week he’d had to steal back produce from him. With his hair damp with sweat, and a vengeful smirk, a bit of saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth where the apple was just barely hanging on. Sasuke would feel his pants tighten ever so slightly.
He hated Naruto.
He hated everything about him. He hated how loud he was in class. He hated his awful manners. He hated his untidy hair. His toothy smile. His obnoxious voice.
He practically hated everything about him. That's why they’ll never get along. Which they don’t.
They became enemies around the time Naruto started reciprocating Sasuke’s hatred in 10th grade.
In the 4th-period biology class, their teacher, Kakashi-sensei, had assigned a group project that had pre-picked partners. Seeing as Naruto was a slack-off and Sasuke was a try-hard, Kakashi-sensei just had to pair them together.
“Now, if I hear anyone complaining about their partners, then you’re getting an F on the whole assignment.” He stared at his clipboard, pacing in front of the class with his usual unbothered look.
“Mkay, so Neji, you're with TenTen, and Lee, you're gonna be with Shino. Sasuke, I’ll put you with Naruto…”
Sasuke didn’t hear what Kakashi had said after that. Because he was pretty sure his ears began to ring.
He turned to see if Naruto had heard who he would be partnering with for the next three weeks. And they made eye contact.
“For the rest of the class, I want you and your partner to group up and begin discussing meeting spots and dates for when you will be working on your project. Seeing as this is an out-of-school project, you cannot work on this during school hours.”
Blue eyes were locked on him the entire time Kakashi-sensei had been speaking. Sasuke had come back to reality after that when he realized Naruto had begun to walk towards him. He cleared his throat and took a seat on the empty desk in front of his own. He leaned back with his usual impoliteness and cleared his throat forcefully. Sasuke felt his jaw clench, and his eyes fixated on the boy sitting so casually, then narrowed them a bit.
“Uh, yeah, so, I know we don’t necessarily get along, Sasuke, but I don’t wanna fail this class again. And I'm sure your stuck-up ass wants to make an A, so if we’re both on the same page, then maybe we can get this done without too much bullshit.”
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When Sasuke was seven years old, his parents died in a car crash.
He was in class when his teacher, Iruka-sensei, got a phone call.
“Hello?” he paused as the person on the other side of the phone talked for a moment.
“Ah… I- I see…” He made a stern face, obvious concern, and hurt wafted from his expression.
“Thank you. Yes, I’ll send him your way.”
He then put his phone away in his pocket and took a heavy sigh, quickly wiping a tear from his eye.
“Uh, Sasuke, if you would go to the office and bring your stuff real quick, your brother, Itachi, is here to pick you up. He has some upsetting news…”
When they arrived at the hospital, both of their parents were dead.
He didn’t know how to react to them being gone. So when Itachi told him, he just sort of stared at him. Then, I decided not to respond. He was afraid that if he did, he would cry.
He couldn’t cry in front of Itachi; they never revealed that kind of emotion around each other. Yet when they arrived at the hospital, and Sasuke faced their death, that was when he couldn’t contain his tears any longer. He broke down into pitiful tears right there on the hospital floor.
He didn’t return to school for a month after that. Though his absences were thankfully excused for "Family Business, during the month Sasuke was home, he didn’t leave his bed for a week. He stayed in his tear-soaked sheets, filing through every possible memory he had of times he felt guilty for treating his parents ever so slightly indifferently. He felt utter guilt constantly.
Until the morning he was set to return to school, he didn’t see Itachi once.
Sasuke never really had a deep connection with Itachi. They were brothers, he knew that much. But he didn’t know Itachi. He was secretive; that's probably where Sasuke gets it from. They never had in-depth conversations like most siblings. Sure, they’ve been through shit together. But don't most siblings? Just because they’ve experienced trauma together doesn’t mean they talk to each other.
They usually just sat in comfortable silence. Most of the time, he’s okay with that. Though sometimes Sasuke does wish he could talk to Itachi.
He wishes he could come home after a long school day and rant about how much he hates everyone and everything there. And how badly he wishes he could just stay home one day and go out to eat with Itachi. Maybe grab some ice cream after and see a movie. Just have some bonding time. But they didn’t bond like real brothers. Sasuke had to fend for himself, and it will just have to always be that way.
He couldn’t bond with others. They will only ever get in his way. He had to be alone.
And that’s just the way things will always be.
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“Sounds good to me, I guess.” Sasuke stared blankly at Naruto. Uninterested and nonchalant.
“Really…?” Naruto expected a much different reaction out of Sasuke. Because he looked at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
“Obviously.” He said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.
Naruto shifted in his chair. Though Sasuke wouldn’t have known this, seeing as he was now staring at his phone.
Naruto was wearing a bright orange puffer jacket that made a squeaking noise every time he so much as moved his arm. He was wearing blue jorts, a white Santa Cruise tee shirt, his jacket, and solid white vans.
His socks rolled up a bit high on his thighs, which Sasuke wasn’t going to look at for too long to keep his sanity.
Naruto hadn’t always been this fashionable. He only started dressing nicely around two or three years prior.
He hated many things about Naruto, but he had always been impressed by his sense of style, as much as it irritated him.
“So are we going to talk about where to meet up, or?” Sasuke left his train of thought at this and struggled to get the cogs in his stupid brain to turn again.
“Hm. Meet me at the library around 5:00 this Friday.”
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Friday ended up coming a lot sooner than Sasuke anticipated.
He was standing on the large stone steps outside the Konoha public library, freezing his ass off, waiting for Naruto, who was now 15 minutes late to their meeting.
When 5:30 rolled around, Naruto had finally arrived at the library, where Sasuke was pretty sure he now had hypothermia, with a cup of what seemed to be instant ramen in his hands.
“Where the hell have you been, Dobe? You’re thirty minutes late, you know.”
Sasuke stood up as Naruto approached him on the steps with a guilty grin that made the cold flush on his face pop significantly, which Sasuke utterly despised.
“Heh, yeah, well, I kinda lost track of time and fell asleep after school…” He scratched the back of his neck with the only free hand he had.
“Well, that’s not my problem. Maybe remember when you make plans next time. Especially when your grades are on the line.” Sasuke glared at him, then began to walk up the stairs into the library, where it was warm.
He had debated on going in instead of waiting for Naruto to get there earlier, but decided to wait outside just in case he assumed Sasuke hadn’t already arrived.
They walked into the library, and found a seat at a random empty table close to the back behind a few shelves (Sasuke picked it since he’s incredibly antisocial) and began to study in silence.
Naruto spoke first. “I think we should include this article in the project slide just in case.”
He shifted in his chair to face Sasuke, who didn’t look up from his laptop and muttered a small “Hn” in agreement.
They sat in awkward silence for the majority of the time. Giving a small nod or glance in between keyboard taps.
It was a bit awkward, Sasuke had to admit. But at the same time, it was somewhat comforting in its strange way.
At the three-hour mark, Naruto decided he wanted to start up a conversation.
“I think this is the longest time we’ve spent together without one of us attempting to punch the other in the face.” He said with a shit-eating grin.
“I think this is the longest time we’ve spent together, period,” Sasuke admitted pointedly.
Naruto gave him a look he couldn’t read.
“Well, that's not necessarily all that surprising though, is it?’’ He turned his eyes towards Sasuke.
“We can’t fucking stand each other.”
Although this was true, why did it make Sasuke's chest tighten? It was never a concept that Sasuke doubted before in his life.
Hating Naruto was the one topic he was most confident in.
“No,” Sasuke muttered with his usual glare. “It’s not.” He continued to pretend he was holding full concentration on his blank document.
“Why did you start hating me, Sasuke?”
Maybe it was just his imagination. Did Naruto sound hurt just now?
“I mean, I understand it to a point; it almost seems like you woke up one morning before we had ever officially spoken, and just began hating me.”
He broke his attention from the screen of his laptop and focused on Naruto’s expression.
“I-” He snapped his mouth shut, then noticed Naruto's eyes faltering, and began to speak.
“I remember, before we started to hate each other, I wanted to be your friend so badly.”
Sasuke was at a loss for words. He had no idea Naruto had felt this way before.
“When we were little, you came up to me when I was sitting on that swing. I remember feeling so excited, I thought you were maybe going to finally ask to be friends.”
After a beat of silence, Sasuke spoke, “Then why were you so rude to me?”
“Rudeness was all I knew at the time. You know, I never had friends. My guard was too far up to be let down at that point. I was hoping you would speak first, but you never did.’’
He and Naruto were the same. As much as Sasuke would hate to admit, they both were isolated children, just waiting for the other to speak first.
“I know,” Sasuke admitted quietly. “We both made that mistake then, didn’t we?”
They both let out a small laugh at that, with solemn smiles, and they made eye contact.
“Now look how we ended up,” Naruto said with a sigh.
“It’s not too late.” Sasuke would have said, if he weren’t a coward. “We can still fix things, we can be friends,” he thought to himself.
But he can’t say that, he just can’t. It may not be too late, but Sasuke isn’t the type to just falter on his knees and beg Naruto to accept him after all he’s done over the years.
Sasuke knows he’s done unforgivable things. And maybe he will make it up to Naruto one day.
But that day will not be today. Not today, while they need to finish a school project in their public library.
“I have an idea,” Sasuke said, sitting upright and pulling his chair forward.
“This way we can make an easy A on this assignment for sure.” He began typing determinedly on the laptop.
“Of course.” Naruto huffed with a laugh. He watched in amazement as Sasuke practically finished their three-week project in a mere 10 minutes.
“Well, I’ll make sure to tell you if there’s anything I need help with when finishing this. But thankfully, we shouldn’t have to meet up like this again. I believe I have this under control. And can most likely turn it in by Monday.” Sasuke said dismissively while packing his things into his bag.
“Ah…” Naruto says, sounding disappointed.
“Is that okay?” Sasuke asks with a single, perfect eyebrow raised.
“No-no. That’s fine. I’m just surprised you’re so determined that it’s finished so early. I mean, it is a three-week project.” He said a bit hesitantly.
“I’m sure I can have it done. Don’t worry. I’ll have you informed if I need any more help, as I said.” Sasuke turned to leave.
“Wait! Sasuke!” Naruto reached into his bag, pulling out a pen. Ripping a corner off his notepad paper, where he was “taking notes” writing down what seemed to be a phone number.
“Text me if you need anything. Or call, I don’t mind. But seriously, it doesn’t just have to be about the project, I mean, just if you need anything in general, I can-"
"Naruto.” Sasuke interrupted him.
“Thank you. But I’m sure everything is handled.” He looked down at Naruto’s hand holding the sliver of paper, still reaching out for Sasuke to take.
“No, really, you should have it just in case, I mean, I know we don’t necessarily talk, but if you ever need to contact me for the project or just in general, I’d like you to be able to, without having to scout me out at school and walk up to me. So please, just take it.”
Sasuke took the paper.
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