Work Text:
It was all Yeongyi’s fault.
This entire situation started last weekend. Sieun was studying in the library while Suho accompanied him, trying not to fall asleep as he waited for Sieun to finish so they could go eat dinner.
He didn’t even know why he asked, but a question slipped out of his lips, pulling Sieun’s attention away from his studies. “Sieun-ah. What’s your type?”
Sieun stopped writing and stared at Suho incredulously. “What?”
Sieun and Suho had been friends for a long time. To the point where calling them best friends would be a disservice to the bond they had. It was a friendship that felt like breathing for the both of them — natural, easy, and a given as long as they were alive. They understood each other to a degree no one else ever would.
They haven’t really talked about this stuff before. Because Suho was deeply in love with his best friend. And everyone knew it.
There was a point in time when Suho came close to confessing. He was high on the realisation of his feelings and shaking with the desire to do something about them. He didn’t though—probably wouldn’t any time soon—because of a single conversation.
Baku and Hyuntak were arguing over who had the most experience. As far as Suho could remember, it was a pretty useless argument.
“I’ve dated more people than you!” Baku ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back. “The girls can’t resist a face as handsome as this.”
Hyuntak scoffed. “Yah. None of those relationships lasted longer than a month. If we’re thinking logically, my 10-month relationship counts more than any of them.”
They were in the classroom; Suho's head was resting lazily on his arm on the table as he half-listened to their conversation while watching Sieun scratching through math equations silently.
“Bro, that was in the 7th grade! Did you even hold hands in those 10 months? Do you want to know what happened between me and Jaehee?”
“I do not want to fucking hear that-”
Suho let their conversation fade into the background. He followed Sieun’s pencil as it glided across the page, how he fiddled with it near his head while reading the next question, how he brought it back down to start the cycle again. There was nothing inherently outstanding about what he was doing, but the fact that it was Sieun doing it made the actions look like art.
“Even Sieun could have more than you.” Suho turned his face to the pair at the mention of Sieun’s name.
“Why don’t you ask, then? Sieun, how many people have you dated?” Hyuntak leaned over and rested a hand on Sieun’s desk. Suho was now significantly more interested in their conversation.
Sieun looked up from his equations and stared at him. “I don’t care about those kinds of things.”
“You have to have thought about it a little, right? I mean, we’re teenagers, this is the time for it.”
Sieun sighed as he focused his attention back on his work. “A high school student’s job is to study well, not worry about romantic relationships. It’ll only distract you.”
Suho felt his stomach twist at little hearing that.
Baku chimed in, “If that’s how you think, then how will you get a partner in the future, Sieun-ah? You’ll have to study in university too, then work after that.”
Sieun paused his writing at that, but didn’t look up. He continued, “That’s not my concern right now. No matter what, I’m not going to date until after high school.”
Suho broke his silence. “What if someone you liked confessed to you, then? What would you do?”
The other two looked expectantly between them. Anyone close to Sieun or Suho would be stupid to not notice the ambiguous tension between them. Suho's question was charged with implications he didn't voice.
Sieun stopped for even longer. Then, he looked straight into Suho’s eyes. “That won’t happen.“ There was a pause before he took his eyes off Suho and focused them back to his notebook. “Even if it did, I’d appreciate it if they wait until we graduate.”
Sieun didn’t mention any names, but it felt like he was talking right at Suho and his heart; he was telling him, “don’t confess and ruin what we have.” So, Suho wouldn’t confess, no matter how much it ate at him. The pressure of keeping his feelings inside inevitably made doubt creep in and now Suho was too scared to acknowledge them.
Now Sieun sat across from him at the table in the library, confused. “Why are you asking me about my type?
Maybe Suho asked because he needs to know what Sieun would say. Would he refuse to answer? Would he describe someone widely different to Suho? Would he describe a girl? Or would he…
“I don’t know, I’m just curious. I’ve never heard it from you before.”
Sieun’s expression went back to neutral. “I don’t care about looks.”
“Not just looks, I mean- What type of person do you think would be the best to date? Practically.” He added on, to appeal to Sieun’s sense of logic.
Sieun paused and seemed to actually think of an answer. After a moment, he started, “… Someone reliable. And good at fighting.” He glanced away. “And someone who can eat well, so they can finish my leftovers.”
Suho took in his answer. He could feel his cheeks warming, a grin spread across his face. “Really?” He said, laughing softly as he bit his lip.
Sieun, apparently unfazed at the effect he had on Suho, focused back on his book. Meanwhile, Suho couldn’t stop smiling to himself.
Reliable, good at fighting, and can eat well. Sieun might have well said that he wanted Ahn Suho and shouted it out to the whole world.
This is how the day should have ended, with Suho ecstatic at Sieun’s practically-undying-love confession, if he hadn’t made a fatal mistake: taking anything Yeongyi had to say seriously.
Yeongyi was the main victim of Suho’s lovestruck rants. While his adoration for Sieun wasn’t exactly a secret from anyone, Yeongyi was the only one Suho had voiced it explicitly to.
“And then—” Suho flopped down on his bed as he spoke into the phone, letting the pillow bury the unmoveable smile on his face —”he said his type was someone reliable, good at fighting, and eats a lot. You know what this means right?”
“Hmm?” Yeongyi’s voice came through the speaker. “Oh, isn’t that exactly like someone we know?”
Suho grinned cockily and opened his mouth to gloat, before he was interrupted by Yeongyi finishing her thought.
“That’s totally Seokdae-oppa!”
“What?”
Suho was stunned beyond words. How did she arrive at that conclusion? “Huh?? No, no, he was totally talking about me.”
“Ohh, well, I guess you would see it that way. But, there’s no one more reliable than oppa that I know. Plus, he takes good care of Sieun, doesn’t he?”
Suho was shocked. He could only gape, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “I take care of him too! And I’m so fucking reliable.”
“But, he has a car though.”
Seokdae did have a car. He would drop Sieun off at cram school or drive him home from time to time.
“But I’m his best friend.”
“Yes, yes, you are. You know, you’re probably right. I was just seeing it from my perspective, but maybe you’re right about what Sieun meant.”
Suho didn’t like her sudden backtracking. The unwavering confidence he had a couple of minutes ago was slowly dissipating.
“Hey,” Suho’s voice dropped an octave, “do you actually think he could like Seokdae?”
Yeongyi’s laugh rang loud through his phone speakers. “Suho-yah, why do you suddenly sound so stressed? Don’t think too much about it, okay?”
That’s what she had said, but now all Suho could do was think.
The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced he just hadn’t notice the signs. Seokdae did drop Sieun home sometimes. And, Suho begrudgingly acknowledged, some people may consider him conventionally attractive too. He was reliable — strong. Older.
But Suho was strong too! And, what’s so good about being 25? Suho took Sieun to cram school all the time!
It had gotten to the point where seeing Seokdae made his jaw tighten with frustration, even though the man in question hadn’t actually done anything wrong. It was excessively frustrating considering that Suho saw him pretty much everyday because of Yeongyi.
Suho increased the number of days he waited for Sieun after his cram school, to the point that he changed the hours he worked and made sure to be there everyday. Suho was glad he managed to make the time to see him more; nothing felt better than Sieun’s arms wrapping around his waist and the warmth of his chest spreading to Suho’s back as they drove through the night.
Well, that was until one day.
Suho was leaning against his parked bike, scrolling on his phone as usual. He looked up when he noticed the stream of students emerging from the front of the school. He pocketed his phone and craned his neck to search for Sieun in the crowd.
It didn’t take long—Suho swore he had an in-built Sieun tracker—but Sieun’s gaze didn’t meet his, it was angled 30 degrees to Suho’s left. He followed his gaze.
Seokdae was standing next to his stupid black Lexus, a cigarette hanging from his lips. That fucker. Didn’t he know he shouldn’t smoke in front of students?
Suho could already feel the anger bubbling up in his body, it only started boiling when Sieun went over to Seokdae first without even sparing a glance in his direction.
Sieun looked up at Seokdae with those eyes and said something. Suho felt his feet moving towards the two.
Seokdae threw his cigarette on the floor and stomped it under his foot. “Did you see my text?”
“I did, just then. Did you see my reply?”
Suho came up behind Sieun and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Hey,” he said, to which Sieun replied with a nod.
“’Suho’s coming so you don’t need to bother to pick me up, hyung.’ Oh.” Seokdae looked up and noted Suho slinging off Sieun’s shoulders. “You’re busy, aren’t you, Suho? I’ll take him home so you can get back to work.”
Suho wasn’t really paying attention to whatever he was saying—his brain was more occupied with thinking of a way to make himself a year older so Sieun could call him hyung. “Sieun-ah, let’s head home.”
He started pulling Sieun away but Seokdae began again. “It will be quicker if I drop him. Don’t you have to make deliveries?”
Suho’s jaw tensed. “Don’t you have work, old man? Let me take my best friend home.”
Suho tightened his grip around Sieun’s shoulders. Finally, Seokdae seemed to give up and made to leave.
“Actually…” Sieun’s voice stopped everyone’s movements. He turned to look up at Suho. “I have to get home early today.” Sieun was never a good liar; Suho could see through him any day. “Suho-yah, you can go back to work, don’t let me keep you.”
Suho couldn’t tell if Sieun really didn’t want to interrupt Suho’s work, or if he just wanted to spend more time with his hyung.
Suho knew he was pouting; he couldn’t stop the disappointment from showing on his face. “You’re not keeping me from anything, Sieun. Seriously.”
“It’s okay, Seokdae’s already come all this way. I’ll see you later, okay?”
And, just like that, Sieun was climbing into Seokdae’s stupid black stupid shiny Lexus. He watched Sieun through the tinted glass as he put in his earphones and began reading his textbook. Seokdae sat in the driver’s seat and turned to Sieun to say something. Sieun didn’t respond. Seokdae leaned to reach over Sieun’s seat, pulling his seatbelt to fasten it.
Sieun gazed up at Seokdae with round eyes and opened his mouth to say something. Suho read his lips with utmost attention.
Thanks, hyung.
That night, Suho didn’t even bother doing deliveries. He sped home, his fists gripping the handlebars of his bike, visualising those words coming out of Sieun’s mouth over and over.
6:37pm
[Yeongyi]: GUYS
whos free tmr???
[Juntae]: why whats happening?
[Yeongyi]: seokdae wants to treat us to dinner
to celebrate finishing midterms
[Baku]: free food??
ill be there 🙌
[Hyuntak]: +1
[Juntae]: im free!
[Yeongyi]: k
9:12pm
[Yeongyi]: @sieun @suho are u guys free?
Direct Message from Sieun
[Sieun]: are you going to the thing
Suho finished his work at 9:30, which is when he saw Sieun’s message. He then went back to check the group chat—he had turned the notifications off—and saw the plans.
Direct Message to Sieun
[Suho]: ill go if ur going
9:41pm
[Sieun]: @yeongyi we’re both coming
Suho hearted the message. Even if Seokdae wanted to treat them, Sieun still waited to see if Suho was coming before agreeing. That had to mean something, right?
The dinner itself started off fairly mundane. They arrived at the restaurant, they found a table (Suho sat between Sieun and Seokdae), they started to grill the meat.
Once the first slices of meat were finished cooking, Suho wasted no time in shovelling meat onto his plate. He was busy stuffing his mouth full when he saw Seokdae placing food on Yeongyi’s plate before reaching over Suho to do the same for Sieun.. 1, 2, 3 slices of meat.
“Eat more.”
Eat more?? Who the fuck is Seokdae to tell Sieun to eat more??? Sieun already has Suho taking care of him, why should Seokdae have to butt in?
Sieun opened his mouth to say thank you but, before he got the opportunity, Suho moved all the meat remaining on the grill onto his plate. 1, 2 ,3 … 4… 5, 6 pieces.
Sieun stared at Suho, face twisted in annoyance. “Hey.” He glanced at the mound of meat in his plate then back at Suho. “Am I you? I can’t eat this much in one go.”
“Just eat it. Wow, you can never say ‘thank you.’” Suho feigned nonchalance and returned his attention back to his food.
Sieun rolled his eyes and picked up his chopsticks.
“Why is the grill empty all of a sudden?” Baku asked in uproar. “Pass me the plate, let’s cook some more!”
Suho was a lot more vigilant from that point forward, proactively checking with Sieun whether he wanted any more food, not letting Seokdae (or even Sieun himself) take food for him. He also kept an eye on Seokdae and his plate. For every piece of meat, scoop of rice, leaf of vegetable, Suho made sure to take double, triple to be sure.
No matter how well Seokdae can eat, Suho thought to himself, I can definitely eat more, Sieun-ah.
By the end of the dinner, he was thoroughly stuffed. As much as Seokdae frustrated him, he couldn’t be angry at free dinner.
“Sieun-ah, are you going to finish those?” Seokdae’s grating voice interrupted his food coma. He pointed at the vegetables littered on his plate. Sieun shook his head. “Can I finish them for you?”
Sieun didn’t reply. Instead, he simply picked up the vegetables with his chopsticks and stretched his arm out to feed Seokdae.
Ohh, fuck no.
Suho leaned forward to intercept Sieun’s action and bit down on the chopstick himself, giving Seokdae a dirty look as he leaned back in his chair.
Seokdae shoved Suho’s shoulder. “Yah, Ahn Suho! What the fuck are you doing? That was my food!”
Suho shrugged and gave him a sarcastic smile. He was being petty, he knew. But, why the fuck should Seokdae of all people receive any of Sieun’s affections? Suho was right there, eager as hell to accept them.
He looked to see Sieun’s reaction. His face was deadpan. “If you wanted some, you should have asked. Those were for hyung.”
Now, had it been any other time, Suho would interpret that as their usual banter. But, Suho’s brain was in an ultrasensitive mode. All he could see is as was Sieun being disappointed he couldn’t feed his beloved hyung.
Suho could feel his frustration building. Did Sieun seriously like Seokdae? Did Suho seriously have to compete with this grown ass man for his affection? Suho could do nothing but glare at Seokdae sitting at his left, who was already getting up to go settle the bill. He looked back at Sieun but saw him following Seokdae’s movements as well.
Suho puffed out his chest. Fuck you, Jeon Seokdae.
Suho had never felt more insecure in his life.
There were few things he fully believed in in this world. One of them was that he’d always be Sieun’s number one. But now, he couldn’t stop reading too deeply into Sieun’s actions, and, slowly, the belief he revered as truth started collapsing. Sieun liked to take things seriously and Suho preferred lightheartedness. Their dynamic had a precise back-and-forth, understanding each other well enough to know when to push and when to pull. To some it may seem like Sieun disliked Suho’s carefree attitude, or that Suho didn’t care for Sieun’s boundaries, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was Sieun’s admiration for Suho’s personality that allowed him to jokingly disparage his cheerfulness. It was Suho’s deep understanding of exactly how much was ‘too much’ for Sieun that allowed him to get so close, toeing the line but never breaking it. It was that precision that granted Suho Sieun’s greatest trust.
Suho knew that was the case. He had for years now. So, why, why, why, was he letting Yeongyi get into his head now?
Maybe Suho had accidentally crossed over the line long ago, and he couldn’t read Sieun as well as he thought he could. Maybe Sieun really was tired of Suho’s antics and craved someone more laidback, more stoic, more mature.
Maybe Sieun did like Seokdae and Suho had missed his chance. He had been deluding himself that Sieun really did like him back and was just waiting for high school to be over. His daily daydreams of the moment he finally confessed were starting to feel more like juvenile pipe dreams.
Who did Sieun like, Suho or Seokdae? Suho, Seokdae, Suho, Seokdae, Suho, Seokdae, Suho, Seokdae…
He needed to do something about this. He needed some type of confirmation to let his mind rest from this endless cycle of uncertainty. Even if Sieun — god forbid — gave an indication that he liked Seokdae, at least Suho could formulate a plan to steal him back.
This situation all started because of a stupid question. So, Suho decided to ask more stupid questions.
“Hey Sieun, what’s your type, older, same-age, or younger?”
The corner they frequented in the library was very comfy — they sat on plush couch-chairs and Sieun worked over the desk attached to them. He had positioned one of the fluffy pillows between his chest and the table. When the problems started getting difficult, Sieun would lean over the table, tucking his chin into the pillow and boring his round eyes into the paper. Suho found it adorable.
Sieun paused his writing. Now, he was looking at Suho like he was an unsolvable math equation. “This again?”
His voice took an airy tone. “I’m just curious. You know, we’ve never really talked about this stuff before.” Suho leaned his elbows on the table, ignoring the fact he used that lame excuse before and trying to act like the answer to his question wouldn’t potentially send him into a manic episode.
Sieun frowned, his brows knitting together. “Do we have to talk about this kind of stuff? Is it that interesting to you?”
Suho mirrored Sieun’s expression. He wasn’t mad, but Sieun looked mad, and Suho never liked upsetting Sieun. He laughed awkwardly. “I mean, it’s normal for high schoolers to discuss this type of stuff, right? Romance and whatnot,” he replied, scratching his nose.
Sieun’s expression soured even more. He continued, “Do you want me to ask you back? Is that why you keep asking me these questions? Are you trying to date now?”
Sieun was definitely angry—Suho didn’t exactly know why. Maybe Suho did ask one too many questions. Maybe Sieun had picked up the real reason why he was asking and was gently warning him not to cross the line.
“Hmm?” Sieun pressed him for an answer.
Suho never liked making Sieun mad, but there he was, glaring at Suho with those big round eyes. Suho couldn’t say a word in response.
Sieun sighed. “I’m going home.“
“Huh?”
Sieun suddenly stood up and gathered his things.
“I’ll take you home.” The words fell out of Suho’s mouth automatically.
Sieun finished packing his books into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Without so much as a small look at Suho, he muttered, “No need,” and stalked out the door of the library.
Suho was left at the table confused, yet disappointed. Disappointed in himself for upsetting Sieun. His petty possessiveness was getting out of hand. Sieun didn’t owe him any explanation, he wasn’t even his.
Even despite all of this, a certain image floated into his head: a shiny black lexus waiting for Sieun at the curb.
Sieun POV
Suho and Sieun were childhood friends. As in, I-can’t-remember-a-time-we-were-strangers childhood friends.
Sieun was the type of child to speak very few words, even if he had many things to say. He used to glare at the adults who would remind him incessantly to “use his words,” wishing there was a way to communicate with his eyes alone.
By contrast, Suho was the exact opposite. His teachers would always scold him for asking too many questions, or being too honest about how he felt about other people. Someone so loud shouldn’t be the type of person to be able to pick up on other children’s inner emotions.
But, remarkably, Suho could always tell what Sieun was thinking. Suho took all the words Sieun wouldn’t say and voiced them on his behalf. That was the kind of relationship the pair had—an implicit understanding that couldn't be easily replicated. Sieun didn’t have to tell Suho what he was thinking, he never had. Suho understood the thoughts that spun and knotted in his mind, pulled them out one by one and arranged them in a row.
It was never tiring with them. They didn’t get sick of each other. They didn’t have misunderstandings.
But, there was always a first time for everything.
Sieun knew Suho liked him. Sieun thought Suho knew that. Sieun thought Suho knew he liked him back. Sieun thought they were enduring their ambiguous tension until high school was over and they could deal with it properly.
Sieun’s assumptions were the basis of this whole catastrophe.
To be fair, he knew he could be hard to read and, sometimes, Suho might need a little confirmation. So, he stepped out of his comfort zone and dropped hints. Flirted, you could say.
He got so comfortable that he dropped a meteor-size hint.
Reliable. Strong fighter. Eats well.
The question might as well have been, “Describe Ahn Suho in three phrases,” and his answer would stay the same.
And yet, Suho asked him that stupid question.
“Hey Sieun, what’s your type, older, same-age, or younger?”
If Suho knew he liked him, as Sieun assumed he did, what was the use of asking that?
“Do we have to talk about this kind of stuff?” He had replied. Because, like always, Sieun thought Suho knew the words he hadn’t voiced. He thought, like always, their feelings for each other were apart of their implicit understandings.
If they were, Suho would know Sieun’s type would always be him. It even felt weird to talk about having a ‘type,’ because that implied multiple people. Sieun was always going to be for one person only.
And, yet, they keep coming back to that stupid question. The most recent conversation they had in the library was the first time Sieun considered that he had the wrong idea. Suho didn’t know he liked him. Suho himself didn’t even like Sieun.
Because, who was going to have a juvenile discussion about ‘types’ with the person you were in love with, and knew was in love with you?
Suho must have been asking because he was interested in dating. Specifically, dating other people.
The problem with failing to voice the thoughts knotting in your head is that some parts of your brain go unnoticed even to yourself. Sieun never thought of himself as a person who could sulk. But, there he was, struggling to focus on his homework while tears welled in his eyes thinking about his childhood friend falling in love with someone else.
Sieun never thought of himself as the kind of person to avoid Suho just because he didn’t like Sieun back. But, there he was.
Suho POV
“Did Sieun delete his KakaoTalk?”
Suho was sitting with Baku, Juntae, and Hyuntak in the classroom during lunch. Sieun had excused himself with a vague mention of a teacher calling him to the staff room.
Suho was scrolling up and down through their chats, focused on the point when Sieun stopped replying and it just became Suho messaging a brick wall. “He didn’t lose his phone, did he? That kid is too focused on studying.”
“Hm? I saw him with it this morning, though.” Hyuntak grabbed Suho’s phone. He let out a laugh. “Yah, he’s just ignoring you, what are you getting so worked up about?”
Suho snatched his phone back. “What are you talking about? Sieun never ignores me. Look” He placed his phone on the table and pointed emphatically at the screen. “Even his profile picture is gone. Something is wrong with his account.”
Juntae cut in, eyeing his own phone in confusion. “It doesn’t look like that for me. Sieun-ie has been texting me like normal.”
“What?”
Suho took Juntae’s phone and looked at their messages. Sieun had been texting Juntae the entire time he was ignoring Suho.
Baku’s boisterous laugh cut through the classroom. “Suho. Ahn Suho!” He couldn’t even finish his sentence without laughing. “Sieun- Sieun fucking blocked you! This is hilarious. What do you do to make him so mad?”
Blocked?? Suho couldn’t even form any words other than:
“What the fuck?”
He knew Sieun was upset, but Suho never expected Sieun to block him. Suho had made a massive mistake.
Sieun returned to the classroom right as class started, without even a glance in Suho’s direction. As soon as class ended, Suho rushed to Sieun’s desk, desperate for an explanation. Sieun had already packed his things. He got up and left, as if Suho’s eyes weren’t boring into the side of his head. Suho, dumbfounded at the whole situation, just watched him leave.
It must be like this: Sieun knew Suho liked him and had been trying to subtly hint that he liked Seokdae instead. But, Suho started coming on too strong, which irritated Sieun, leading to him blocking Suho.
Even if that was the case, Suho couldn’t just let things end as they were. He had to find an opportunity to talk to Sieun face-to-face.
That night, he waited outside Sieun’s cram school. He couldn’t even look at his phone to pass the time, instead he stared at the entrance, tapping his leg.
Suho instantly spotted Sieun in the crowd streaming out of the doors. Once he got close enough, Suho started jogging towards him. That’s when he noticed that shiny black Lexus and its owner smoking a cigarette. Suho looked back at Sieun, who was making a beeline for the car.
“Sieun-ah.” Sieun didn’t stop. “Yeon Sieun!”
Sieun ignored Suho’s calls and slipped into the passenger seat of Seokdae’s car without a word.
Suho tried to yank the car door open and force him to tell him what the fuck was going on, but Seokdae stopped him with his arm.
“Don’t want to get in between any of this, but I think he might be mad at you.”
Suho didn’t look up at his dumbass face, just stared Sieun down through the tinted glass of the windows. “Fuck you.”
Seokdae snorted. “Is that how you talk to your elders?” He tossed his cigarette to the ground. “We’re leaving, see you later, Suho-yah.”
Suho nearly kicked the car as it drove away.
Suho knocked on the door of Sieun’s apartment. He knew the code but chose to knock anyway.
“Who is it?” He heard Sieun’s soft voice through the door.
“Delivery.” Suho’s voice sounded defeated, even to his own ears.
Several beats passed and Suho was unsure if Sieun would even open the door. He knew it was a possibility but he still wanted to try. No disagreement could be solved by silence.
The door clicked and Sieun’s face poked through from behind the door. He looked tired; Suho came after he finished his work so he had probably been studying until now.
“Why are you here?” Sieun’s voice was hoarse. Suho wondered whether he had even drank water tonight.
“Sieun-ah. You can’t ignore me and not expect me to ask for an explanation.” Suho sighed. “Can I come in?”
Sieun stared at him in silence, then opened the door wider and made space for Suho to enter.
Whenever Sieun was upset, he would go into shutdown mode. He wouldn’t speak, whether to tell someone what was wrong or just in general, opting to bury his face in a book until whatever was bothering him went away. If someone made him angry, however, he wouldn’t hesitate to voice how he was feeling, in a cold, harsh tone that would make you question if you had ever done anything right in your life.
Suho thought Sieun was mad at him. But, his reaction seemed more like something was saddening him. When Sieun went all quiet, it was Suho’s job to read between the lines and understand what it was Sieun wasn’t saying.
However, Suho just couldn’t understand. He didn’t know what to do.
Suho sat on the floor next to the table in the living room as Sieun went to pour him water. Sieun brought his workbook over from his study table and came to sit next to Suho.
Suho genuinely didn’t know what to do so he just started pleading. “Sieun-ah, please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry. I asked you too many questions.”
Sieun didn’t look up from his work. Suho’s tone got even more needy. “Please, Sieun-ah. Don’t ignore me, please. I’ll do anything, just stop ignoring me.”
Sieun’s writing stopped. He looked at Suho, who startled at his serious expression. “Then, promise me this.” Suho’s back straightened in anticipation. “Don’t date anyone else until we graduate.”
Suho nodded eagerly. He didn’t even fully comprehend what Sieun was asking him, he was just happy Sieun would stop ignoring him.
“That’s easy. So easy.” Suho only wanted to date him anyw-
Wait.
“Don’t date anyone else.”
Sieun had already brought his attention back to his workbook, but now Suho noticed a slight tremor in his hand.
“Sieun-ah.”
“Hm?” Sieun’s voice feigned nonchalance but Suho could hear the uncertainty.
“When you say ‘anyone else,’ does that mean—” He hesitated, unaware how to phrase what he wanted to say. “—there’s someone I can date?”
Sieun didn’t respond, keeping his eyes on the paper. Suho saw how his free hand clenched into a fist on the table.
Suho took a deep breath. “Do you… like Seokdae-hyung?”
“What?”
Sieun’s pen dropped to the table. He gaped at Suho without a trace of anger, just pure confusion.
“Do you?”
“No? Why would you ask that?”
Okay. Okay.
Suho was a simple boy. Many things in his mind existed in dichotomies, black and white oppositions. If Sieun didn’t like Seokdae, then there was only one conclusion his mind could fall to.
“Sieun. I like you.“
Sieun took a deep breath, as if he had been waiting for those words to drop out of Suho’s mouth for a long time. Sieun opened his mouth then stopped. Picked his pen up then put it back down. Looked up in Suho’s eyes then to the side.
Suho braced for impact.
“I know. I like you too.”
There was a part of Suho that knew that. That had known that for a really long time. That part of Suho knew there was zero chance Yeon Sieun liked Jeon Seokdae. But, uncertainty was like mold on forgotten food— the longer it sat there unaddressed, the quicker it eroded what it was growing on. Sieun’s confession was unsurprising and unexpected, all at once. Hearing out loud birthed a feeling Suho had never felt before.
He couldn’t stop smiling. All the ambiguity between them fell away and, suddenly, all of the words he had been holding himself back from saying fell out of his mouth.
“Wow Yeon Sieun. How long have you been secretly pining for me?”
“So, who’s hotter, me or Seokdae?”
“Do you think you’d ever call me hyung?”
“…Does this mean you’ll unblock me on KaTalk now?”
Sieun didn’t grace any of those questions with an answer, but Suho didn’t miss the way a smile was fighting its way onto Sieun’s face.
Epilogue - University
[Yeongyi]: HAHA
se wanna hear smth funny
suho fully thought
you liked seokdae
[Sieun]: ?
???
why would he think that
[Yeongyi]: didnt you tell him your type at some point
he thought you were talking about seokdae
Sieun looked at Suho, who was resting his head on Sieun’s lap, scrolling on his phone.
“Did you think I liked Seokdae-hyung?
Suho sat up, his face plastered with alarm. “Who told you that? Yeongyi? That traitor.”
Sieun snorted. “Why would you think that?”
“I asked Yeongyi about you and she planted the idea in my head! Sieun-ah,” Suho buried his head into the crook of Sieun’s neck, “you don’t know how crazy I was for you back then. The smallest action would send me spiraling.”
Sieun smiled at the thought of sending high-school Suho spiraling. “What? Do I not make you crazy anymore?” he teased.
Suho poked Sieun in the stomach. “You know that’s not what I meant.” He put his head back on Sieun’s lap and closed his eyes. “You make me crazy everyday.”
Sieun laughed into a downturned smile. He brushed Suho’s hair down. “The feeling’s mutual."