Chapter Text
"Boom, baby!"
Steve rolls his eyes, not bothering to look up from where he's restocking the candy. He was already forced to listen to the whole encounter, but he has a feeling he's about to get a play by play anyway.
"Did you see that?" Robin says, draping herself over the counter with a dopey grin. "She smiled at me."
He hums, then frowns at the candy display when something catches his eye. When did they change the Skittles logo?
Robin slaps her hand on the counter, effectively knocking over all of Steve's hard work. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Robin, I just finished with that." He groans as he eyes the candy boxes… which are now covering every surface in the surrounding area.
"I know, it was horrifying to watch. Stop hyperfixating on the candy and focus on me!"
Steve puts his hands on his hips, in that stern way he does that makes everyone jokingly call him mom, and raises his eyebrow. He even taps his foot a couple times to add to it.
"Well," Steve gestures between them vaguely, "you have my attention now. Continue."
Robin smiles wide, not acknowledging the sarcastic edge in Steve's voice. "Thank you. Now as I was saying—"
The door opens, causing the bell to ring out loudly through the store.
It's out of reflex that Steve's gaze flicks past Robin and to the door that is now banging close. He only gets a glimpse of the mop of messy brown curls, before Robin is dragged— no, lifted into an embrace.
"Munson!" Robin yells from being spun in the air, her feet dangling only an inch or two off the ground. "Let me down, you dingus."
Eddie cackles as he goes in for one more twirl. "Anything for you, Buckley." Then he unceremoniously drops her.
Right on a Sour Patch Kids candy box.
Steve groans. "Oh my god, guys, not the on the candy."
"My bad, Harrington. Got a little excited there." Eddie says, and comes to a stop right in front of Steve. He leans on the counter, cutting the distance between them in half at a speed so dizzyingly fast that Steve can't even hope to keep up with.
Which is par the course since everything with Eddie is intense. In every single way that Steve isn't used to.
He thought he finally got a grip on this friendship thing. That he had a good thing going for him. He has the children, which he's actually more of a trusted babysitter than a friend, but even so, they all have a strong bond together. Then there's Robin, his best friend. His soulmate. Platonic soulmate. She was the friend he didn't know he needed until he had her, and with her he feels like he can just be himself. No apologies, no judgment. Now he even has Nancy, and Jonathan, and Argyle on occasion. He likes having people, having genuine friendships with no ulterior motive. It's refreshing. He always feels warm when they hang out.
So, yeah, he could've sworn he had a handle on this friend thing.
That is until Eddie became a permanent fixture in his life again. It's good, but also overwhelming in a way Steve doesn't know how to put into words. Eddie is fierce, and fearless in the way he moves about his life. He's so… unapologetically himself in everyway. He's too loud, he uses his hands far too much when he talks, and he's shit when it comes to staying out of someone else's personal space.
Steve may be secretly endeared by all those things. Not that he'd ever admit it. Maybe.
Then there is the thing they don't talk about. Their past. Eddie doesn't ask, and Steve doesn't bring it up. At this point he's scared to, and now it's like they never knew each other to begin with. Between defeating Vecna for good, and recovering from their injuries for the last month and a half, he thinks they accidentally came to a unspoken agreement that now was not the time to bring it up.
Steve absolutely hates it.
He feels like he's constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like he's just waiting for the day Eddie inevitably says, "Remember when we were best friends in elementary school, oh, and middle school? Then you randomly stopped talking to me? Oh, and also proceeded to pretend like I didn't exist for years? Yeah, I never actually forgave you for being the worlds biggest asshole." And Steve would take it without a second thought. He would let Eddie cuss him out, even yell at him if that's what the other man needs.
He would let Eddie walk away, because if there is one thing Steve is sure of— It's that he does not deserve the good natured way that Eddie Munson treats him.
But Steve also knows that he's a selfish man. He soaks in every moment from Eddie that he can get. Every conversation they have, even if it never moves from the surface level small talk. More often than not they only talk about the kids anyway. Every intense look, even if Steve doesn't know what any of it means since he is now painfully unfamiliar with Eddie's body language. As well as every touch they share, even if it's usually Eddie who initiates, always brief, but still never fails to leave a lasting impact on Steve.
He doesn't deserve any of it, but he indulges in each moment anyway.
Like right now.
With careful eyes, Steve watches Eddie and Robin talk. Both of their heads are huddled close like they're trying to have a private conversation, but the store is empty and Eddie is still leaning on the counter, invading in on Steve's personal space.
Steve doesn't move.
He hasn't been keeping up with the conversation they've been having, too busy caught up in the storm of his own thoughts. And if he's being honest with himself, that is the usual lately.
"Holy shit, she smiled at you?"
"That's exactly what I said! At least someone listens to me." Robin says, pointedly shooting Steve a glare with no heat.
Steve rolls his eyes. "I was listening right up until you knocked over the candy display. That was hard work, Buckley."
"Oh my god. Here," Robin then bends down to start gathering everything into a pile.
He smirks, payback baby, and then he glances up to Eddie already looking at him. His eyes are curious, and so fucking warm, and Steve can all but feel his lungs stop working in his chest. Eddie always looks at Steve like he sees right through him, or even worse, like he's trying to figure Steve out. It's intense in a way that feels invasive to him. Intimate, maybe.
Steve kinda wants to melt into the counter.
Robin hands Eddie a few boxes, who then hands them to Steve.
"You're coming tonight, right?" Eddie asks offhandedly.
Steve cocks his head to the side. "Tonight?" He doesn't remember making any plans, and he would absolutely remember if he made any with Eddie.
"Yeah, man. It's the last D&D session of the school year, and my last hoorah as dungeon master. Ya know, before I graduate." Eddie explains with a wave of his hand. "Dustin told me you were picking them up afterwards?"
Realization dawns on him. "Oh shit-" He can't believe he almost forgot. "Yeah, I'll be there."
"Cool." Eddie says with a lopsided smile and eyes that are far too warm for Steve to handle right now.
Robin hands Eddie the last few boxes, and then stands up with a huff. "There. Happy?"
"Much." Then, in a fit of childishness, Steve sticks his tongue out at her.
Robin grumbles before she hops over the counter, careful to avoid the candy display this time, and launches herself at Steve. They are both a tangle of shoving limbs, flying hands, fingers jabbing into ribs, and somehow Steve even ends up with a face full of elbow. Which really, really hurts. Steve does not recommend it.
They only stop their struggle when Eddie clears his throat, loudly.
A beat of silence.
Then all three of them double over in a fit of laughter. Robin hangs off of Steve as she laughs, hiding her ridiculous ugly laughing face in his shoulder, thankfully giving Steve full view of Eddie as the other man giggles. Steve can't help but notice the way his curls bounce with each shake of his shoulders, or the way Eddie's hand automatically covers his mouth. That only serves to distract Steve, his eyes automatically drawn to the rings on each finger. He's busy tracing over the details of the metal when he catches himself.
Fuck, he has got to stop staring or it's going to start becoming obvious.
Once their laughter dies down, Robin throws up a peace sign for Eddie, and an extra rude gesture for Steve before wandering off to the back with a weak excuse of rewinding some tapes. He squints at her retreating back, and fights the urge to yell "liar, liar, pants on fire," after her.
Especially considering she most definitely watched him do that at the beginning of their shift.
Bitch… he thinks lovingly.
"Alright, man," Eddie starts while he moves to stand up properly. "I gotta head out, but I wanted to make sure the gremlins had a ride home. I have a thing right afterwards."
Steve nods in understanding. He gets it. Since everything that happened with the Upside Down, they all stick together in a totally-not-normal codependent way. None of the kids go anywhere without either Steve, or Nancy, or Jonathan, or Eddie. There is always one of them there. It's definitely not healthy, not by a long shot, but Steve finds that if it puts them all at ease then who cares.
Besides, what else is Steve going to do? Even with his dad home—
Oh, shit.
That would be why he almost forgot.
"Wait-" Steve says, and without thinking he moves to grab Eddie's wrist, but stops at the last second. He lets his hand fall lamely between them instead. "I do have to go home after work, so I might be a few minutes late if that's okay with you. But I'll be there."
Eddie's brow furrows. "Your parents home?" His eyes flick over Steve's face.
"Yeah," is all Steve offers.
Explaining why his dad is home is not something he should get into with Eddie, so he does his best to hold the intense questioning gaze. His lips quirk up in a small smile, hoping it's at least somewhat reassuring.
He makes it a solid five seconds -yes, he does count - before he ducks his head down. There is truly only so much of that a man can take.
"Okay, Steve." Eddie mutters, the words settling softly between them. Then a gentle nudge lifts his chin. "Don't be too late, yeah?"
Steve nods, a little helpless as he does so. There's a twinkle in Eddie's eye, and when he takes a step back the metal from his rings cool Steve's burning skin as his fingers slip away.
Then in the next moment, the bell is once again ringing obnoxiously as the door falls shut. Eddie is already in his van roaring the engine to life, and Steve absolutely does not spend the rest of his shift ignoring his racing pulse.
✧
Steve grips the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn a pale white.
A glorious after affect of any conversation with his dad. Ever.
He breathes in deeply, holds the air in his lungs for a few seconds, and then releases. After a few more of the same carefully controlled breaths, Steve starts to gain the feeling back in his fingers as they loosen. The healthy flush returning back to his skin.
His dad, thankfully, left for the airport after their talk. Or whatever that was, since Steve would classify it more as a lecture than an actual conversation, one that he was positive he didn't need to actually be present for. Especially since he didn't even get to say a word and he doesn't give a shit what his dad thinks. At the very least, the man will be gone for another few weeks, so after this Steve will be able to have the house to himself. So he can stew in silence. Maybe get high, or drunk.
Or maybe both.
He shakes his head as he parks his car in the normal spot he always chooses, and closes his eyes to take a moment to himself so he can just breathe. He needs to make sure he's honest to god good to deal with the demanding task that is navigating conversation with teenagers. If he's honest with himself he isn't in the right head space for it, he can feel how pulled taut his muscles are throughout his whole body. But he is fairly confident that he can make it through a car ride with the brats without snapping unnecessarily. Or losing his marbles.
And his marbles are super important.
Steve blinks and then immediately frowns as he finally takes note of his surroundings. Eddie's van which should be a few spaces over is… vacant? It is unusual, but there is another parking lot on the opposite side of the school so he doesn't worry too much. He tries not to, at least.
He knows he's about ten-ish minutes late, but the kids are no where to be seen. In fact, there's not a single soul lingering outside, not even the occasional random stragglers can be seen wandering around. They must all be killing time inside waiting for him while everyone else left already.
Steve gets out of the car just as he feels the beginnings of a chill creep up his spine, his mind already racing. The parking lot is eerily empty. No cars. No Eddie. Not his kids. Only Steve and this shit school looming in front of him like an echo of his past, of every mistake he ever made.
He shivers, a horrible pit forming right in the middle of his gut.
Fuck. Not now.
He tries to reason within himself that now is not the time for an unscheduled freak out, and he attempts to take a step forward but he finds that his legs refuse to cooperate. Everything is fine. The kids are okay, no doubt they're waiting inside with Eddie. They are perfectly safe there and hopefully always will be. He reminds himself that the Upside Down is gone for good this time, that there is absolutely no need to worry.
The Upside Down is gone. And. They. Are. Safe.
Right?
Wrong.
Steve is acutely aware of all the times he thought they were safe before. When they thought they were done fighting, his bat retiring to the forgotten space in the trunk of his car, out of immediate reach, but close enough for comfort. And every single time it was proven that he was only holding on to a false sense of security. Now he can't help but feel like he is repeating the same mistakes, and his kids are fucking missing. Again.
This can't be happening. Not again.
He desperately hopes he's wrong, that the gremlins are going to walk out those doors any minute. They'll no doubt be smiling and laughing, without a care in the world.
But they're not.
His head feels heavy, his body, even his eyes move in slow motion as he looks around again. It's only then, when he looks up, does he notice his vision is swimming. That the world around him feels like it's moving on it's own accord even though his own two feet are still firmly planted on the ground. He feels the bile rise from his stomach at the sudden dizziness, and he stumbles into his car only just catching himself from falling flat on his face.
They're missing.
Steve goes to take deep breaths only to realize his chest is already heaving from the pants leaving his parted lips. He can't breathe like this. He can barely see. He can hardly think straight, his own thoughts going in circles just like the world is doing around him.
They're in danger because of me.
His muscles strain to hold himself upright, palms flat against the hood of his car, but the world tilts anyways. Before he knows it his knees are buckling, crushing under the weight of his body, and bowing to the spinning in his mind.
Because you can never keep them truly safe.
It's true, fuck, is it true. He should have never fooled himself otherwise. Steve doesn't hear the dull thud as his knees hit the ground. He doesn't even feel the sharp pain he knows his thighs should be harboring, but he does vaguely register a strong grip wrapping around his upper bicep. The pressure there is unexpected but warm, providing a small distraction to the panic rising in his chest. His body shakes, and he can't tell if it's the nausea tearing through him, or if it's due to the fingers sinking deep into his muscles.
"Steve—"
The voice that reaches his ears sounds distant, almost like it was said seconds ago but it's just now reaching him. More talking swirls in the space around him. It sounds urgent, even if he can't make out anymore of the words over the roaring in his ears. He knows that voice, doesn't he? If only he could actually fucking hear or see clearly, but turning his head seems like a monumental task that will take ages to achieve.
Except, he doesn't get the chance to experiment with moving his own limbs, because suddenly he feels like he's falling backwards, or maybe he's being pulled that way. He can't be too sure. All he knows is that instead of hitting the hard pavement like he expected, he's still sitting upright when his back falls against a solid surface. He gasps as strong arms wrap around his chest, a protest dying on the tip of his tongue.
After a few a half hearted wiggles Steve goes still against the other person, breathing still ragged. He's basically wrapped all the way around his body. His arms are pinned down to his side, and his legs are squished together in a slightly uncomfortable position. It's strangely grounding, and comfortable. He leans back into it more.
Steve thinks he hears the other person continue to talk in a soothing tone, and it feels like hours before he can make out what is being said. He only catches bits and pieces of, "You're okay, Stevie… I'm here, I got you… That's it, breathe just like that for me…" and Steve feels his own thoughts slowing down so he can catch each statement. One by one his muscles become loose and he sags into the arms holding him, closing his eyes as the back of his head finally lands against a shoulder.
"There ya go."
Eddie.
It's Eddie.
A strangled noise of relief leaves Steve's throat followed by a soft, "Eddie."
"Yeah, that's it. It's me- I'm here." Eddie mutters just as warm, his arms tightening around Steve. "How you doing?"
Steve chuckles, it's dry and sounds more like a wheeze than anything.
"M' tired." He admits, then wraps both hands around Eddie's forearm, needing the reassuring contact more than anything else for his next question. "Where are the kids?"
"Jonathan and Argyle picked them up right when the campaign ended. Apparently Joyce made dinner for the little brats and they all wanted to check out the new house." Eddie explains, and then adds, "They're safe. I promise."
He releases a shuddering breath at that. They're safe, he repeats in his head like it's a prayer. He does it until he starts to believe it. One of Eddie's palms goes flat against Steve's chest, right where his heart is, and Eddie firmly presses down. The pressure is so good, that Steve almost sighs into. Almost.
"They're safe." Steve breathes finally. He trusts Eddie.
They're not in danger because of me.
"They're safe." Eddie echos again softly. "You're safe too. Just- tell me what you need, yeah?"
Steve swear his heart stops in his chest, skipping entirely two or three beats before continuing on like normal. He also is absolutely certain that there's no way Eddie didn't notice, especially when the thumb that had been lazily moving back and forth over his shirt also paused at the same time. A flush creeps up from his neck to his cheeks, and Steve is suddenly very grateful for the position they're in.
It also seems that functioning like a normal person is still off the table. Perfect.
"Can we-" Steve licks his lips, and hates when he finds out how dry they are. "Can we stay like this for a few more minutes?"
"Yeah, Stevie, we can." Eddie agrees, almost breathlessly, then they are both leaning further back as Eddie rests most of his weight against the car.
The action brings them flush together, from their hips all the way to their shoulders. If Steve thought they were close before, they're extremely close now. There's so much contact, so much warmth, that Steve almost feels dizzy all over again. Their position is much more intimate than he was prepared to handle right now. Every breath that Eddie takes causes Steve's own chest to rise and fall with him. Any small adjustment slightly jostles them both.
It drives Steve absolutely mad.
That's not even to mention the nickname. Stevie. He hasn't heard that in years, probably as long as they haven't been talking. Eddie was always the one to call him that growing up, the only one he ever let call him that name. And Eddie- he just used it twice. Steve doesn't know what to do with that.
He doesn't know what to do with any of it.
Minutes later when he's absolutely certain they've passed that this-is-totally-weird line, and finally landed on the but-I'm-just-going-to-roll-with-it territory, he decides now is as good a time as any to speak up.
"I'm sorry."
Eddie hums. "For what?"
"For kinda losing my shit there." He cringes as he says it. That's the understatement of the century. "The parking lot was empty when I got here. Your van was gone. The kids weren't there like normal. I just—" He puffs out a frustrated breath. "I'm not sure what happened."
"I get it. It's okay." Eddie says simply, softly, his thumb still gently tracing patterns against Steve's chest. He doesn't offer anything else.
"I-" Steve frowns. "It's okay?"
"It's okay." Eddie says again as he shrugs. "After everything you've been through I think you're allowed a few freak outs."
For some reason Steve never looked at it like that. He was always pushing himself to be strong for the kids, pretending that he wasn't nearly as affected as he is. Pretending that most nights he didn't wake up from nightmares in a cold sweat. Or that every time he was forced to be alone, truly alone, the silence almost always suffocated him to the point where he woke up gasping for air.
He thought he was being weak, just like his father always told him he is, but here Eddie is completely nonchalant about the entire thing. Like this normal.
Huh.
"Plus," Eddie starts while stilling his movement on Steve's chest again. He absolutely does not mourn the loss of the soothing touch. "I think I'm the one who should be apologizing. Mike told me the change of plans right before we were about to start, and Dustin said he called you. I should've made sure the word actually got to you, I'm sorry."
Steve's eye widen. Now that is interesting. He thinks back to the extra long excruciating lecture about how important his social image is, who he spends his time with, who he's seen out in public with, and blah blah. It all makes a whole lot more sense now.
His father is so predictable, and it would be impressive if Steve wasn't so disgusted with him by it. To try and push him away from the kids he loves is so incredibly out of line, Steve is glad that he left already or else this argument would've continued the second he got back home. Once upon a time Steve would have been swayed, and once upon a time his dad actually succeeded in it, but not this fucking time. He would sooner leave home and live on the streets before cutting off his real family.
"I think we have my dad to thank for that." He admits, a smidge of bitterness creeping into his tone.
"Your dad?"
Steve nods. "Yeah. I'll spare you the gory details, but when I got home after work he was acting like a grade A asshole. He must've answered the phone when Dustin called and didn't bother telling me."
"I see he's still as lovely as ever."
"You have no idea," Steve says, his chest aching with the need to say more. To explain. To apologize for everything. To ask every burning question that sits on the tip of his tongue every moment they become close. But pressed together in the middle of the school parking lot after he just lost his shit is definitely not the right time for that conversation. At least that's his excuse.
He is so tired.
"So, please, don't apologize for that. It's not your fault." Steve continues and hopes that the silent 'it's mine' goes unheard between them. The last thing he wants is Eddie worrying about him.
"It's not yours either."
Of course Eddie understands anyway, still reading Steve like an open book. He decides that silence is the best answer here and instead focuses on the warmth that radiates from every point of contact. Everywhere that Eddie is touching him. Holding him. He can't even remember the last time he felt like this, except, he doesn't know exactly what this is he's feeling. All he knows is that—
He doesn't want this to end. Whatever this is.
"Have you ever," Steve clears his throat. "…freaked out like that?"
Eddie rests his forehead against Steve's hair and sighs. "Yeah. The night I got home from the hospital was one of the worst panic attacks I ever had. I barely made it through the front door before I was hyperventilating. Wayne had to calm me down."
His fingers tighten their hold on Eddie's arm, hanging on to every word.
"And even though Hopper's military contacts were able to replace the trailer, 'for your troubles' they had told us." Eddie laughs bitterly at that, but he continues almost thoughtfully anyway. "I can never really shake the feeling of dread every time I'm there, or help it that whenever I close my eyes I relive… that moment like it's the first time all over again. So, yeah. I get it, Stevie. It's not your fault. It's not mine. We're just trying to survive in the only way we know how to, and that's okay."
There's a lump in Steve's throat, the words slamming straight into his chest leave him feeling winded. He had no idea Eddie got like that to sometimes, and even though he wishes neither of them had to go through feeling like that, some part of him is comforted by the fact that someone is just as fucked up in the head as him about it all. And even more so knowing it's Eddie.
"I-" Steve breathes in deeply. "I didn't know. You always gave off the impression that you were handling everything really well."
They're so close that he can feel Eddie smile at that. "If only." He chuckles, then adds just as softly, "I didn't know about you either."
Steve can only manage a nod. While he's grateful to know that it's not so obvious how much he's falling apart, he also feels so incredibly off balance, like a crucial part of his world has flipped upside down now that they're here. He doesn't even fully understand why, and he can't help but wonder if Eddie feels like this too.
"How are you doing? Ready to stand up yet?" Eddie asks.
Steve flushes at the questions calling to attention how long they've been like this. Wrapped so thoroughly around each other. He should have let Eddie leave when his breathing returned to normal, and not hold him hostage like this. His chest aches at the thought of potentially missing this moment, so he reminds himself that Eddie is technically the one holding onto him. He is not being the needy one here.
You are the needy one, his brain unhelpfully supplies.
Right, that's enough of thinking for one day. They definitely need to move.
He groans as he moves to sit up, bringing a surprised Eddie with him since the man is still firmly clinging to him. Eddie gets with the program quickly, working with him to untangle their limbs, and helps Steve stand up. Once they're finally both on their own two feet, Steve has his hands on either shoulder whereas Eddie is firmly holding onto his waist in an effort to steady Steve's wobbling legs.
They're close again, Steve notices, their faces are even closer than they were earlier at the Family Video. And being this close up, he can't help but notice how tired Eddie looks. The bags under his eyes definitely rival his own.
"Eddie. You look exhausted." Steve blurts out, his mouth clearly betraying him. Some thoughts are inside thoughts only. He clears his throat and takes a step back, trying to ignore the fact that he's far colder than he was only moments ago. "Shit. I- that was rude. Ignore me."
"Don't worry about it, man." Eddie says, thankfully chuckling at Steve's outburst. "You're right though. I'm beat."
"Not sleeping because of the nightmares?"
Eddie's face freezes, like he's shocked that Steve recalled what he admitted only moments ago.
"Uh, yeah." Eddie starts playing with his rings. "It's hard to catch more than an hour of sleep at a time if I'm at the trailer."
Steve looks down at the space between them compared to how they were only moments ago. The silence, the space, everything feels suffocating in a way it didn't before. He steps forward again, his body caving to the pull towards the man standing in front of him.
"Come sleep with me, then."
Wait, that's not—
"Sleep with you?" Eddie smirks. His eyes hold that same dangerous glint as earlier. "Steve Harrington?"
And there goes his dignity… which he's certain is currently lying on the floor by his feet at this point, but he doesn't bother trying to take back the words. He meant what he said, even if the implication is questionably far off from how he meant it.
"Yes."
"How terribly presumptuous of you. I'll have you know I usually only put out on the third date—"
Steve sighs. "Munson."
Eddie hums, innocently batting his eyelashes as he tilts his head up fractionally. Their difference in height is only about an inch or two, but Steve can't help but notice it. Eddie has always had the bigger personality, so he has a habit of forgetting that the other man is actually the shorter of the two.
"The solution is simple, don't sleep at the trailer. You can sleep at my house." Steve explains, and then tacks on, "If you want."
Eddie looks away, eyebrows furrowed. "At your house. With your parents there?"
"It's just me right now. My dad left this afternoon and my mom is still in California." Steve assures quickly. He's not even sure why he's suggesting it, but his mouth is still doing that thing where it moves without his permission.
"And," Eddie finally meets his eyes, "…you're okay with that?"
Guilt takes the form of a pit in his stomach. The fact that Eddie would ever question if he was welcome in Steve's space, is one of the biggest regrets of his life.
"Yes," He replies without missing a beat.
"Okay."
"Really?"
"Yup." Eddie dramatically pops the 'p' as he says it, and then takes out his car keys. "I'm way too tired to even argue right now, and I also happen to remember that your house has a million guest rooms. So, lead the way, good sir."
The keys jingle as Eddie twirls them around his finger, gesturing theatrically to the road. He turns on his heel presumably in the direction of where ever the van is, and Steve can't help but scoff. Like he would let Eddie drive when he looks ready to pass out any second.
"Right. Eddie?" He calls out, stopping the other man in his tracks.
Eddie turns around slowly and honestly a little wobbly. Steve knows that exhaustion well, knows how it creeps deep into your bones making every movement last a hundred times longer, and a thousand times harder. He scolds himself for not noticing it any sooner.
"Change your mind already, Harrington?"
Steve shakes his head. "No, but-" He takes the confusion as an opportunity, and steers Eddie towards the passenger side of the car. "You shouldn't drive."
The other man doesn't resist the nudging, or bat an eye at Steve's hand resting gently on his shoulder so he can be guided. It's only when they come to a stop at the door does Eddie finally show any kind of reaction, his expression morphing from passive to perplexed. He has one eyebrow raised, and his nose is scrunched up in a way that can only be considered adorable. However, he doesn't move.
Steve opens the door.
"Get in."
"Get- what?"
Steve's fingers twitch. "I'll drive you to my house. So, get in the car."
"Steve. Are you fucking joking?" Eddie asks, his voice hard and eyes narrowing dangerously.
Now it's Steve's turn to be taken aback. His mind is still disoriented from the events of the evening, but he's fairly certain he didn't say anything to warrant that kind of reaction from the other man. Eddie almost sounds angry. Irritated even.
"No?"
Eddie laughs at that, actually full belly laughs. It's a humorless laugh full of sarcasm and a sprinkle of bitterness, to the point where Steve is sure he missed something. Eddie even doubles over from the motion, one hand placed on his knee to hold himself up, and the other holds onto his stomach.
When he finally catches his breath, he straightens up, muttering, "Jesus Christ, what is going on?"
Then Eddie rounds on him, knocking his arm off to the side.
"First, you demand a sleepover. And now you- you want to drive me to your house. All because I what? Look a little sleepy?" He says incredulously.
Steve falters. "Eddie—"
"No, just wait. Lemme guess what comes next." Eddie crosses his arms across his chest and lightly taps the side of his chin like he's pretending to think. Then suddenly, he snaps his fingers dramatically. "I got it! Weekly sleepover parties with the kids? With pillow fights and board games? Hell, maybe we can even paint each others nails. Oh! And then you'll start chaperoning me around town like you do for everyone else?"
"Eddie—"
"No, Steve! Let me finish." Eddie snaps, stomping his foot while he speaks.
Steve snaps his mouth shut.
"I can handle the totally weird co-parenting thing we got going on. I can handle you being in my life again. Hell, I can even handle being trauma bonded from saving the world together. But what I cannot handle is this. So, please for the love of Christ help me out here, Steve. This isn't what we do anymore."
He swallows thickly, and averts his eyes away from Eddie's burning gaze. Comforting your ex-best friend while he has a panic attack is one thing, but asking what Steve did crosses a line. Eddie didn't even yell, not really, but he should have. He deserved that. Every word. His heart sinks, and his stomach feels all but full of stones. Earlier memories of the softly spoken "Stevie" get shoved into the deepest corner of his mind, and buried deep under a thick layer of denial while he's there.
"You're right, I'm sorry." Steve says softly while he takes a step back. "I shouldn't have suggested it."
Eddie looks at him warily, tired eyes traveling from the bottom of his shoes to the top of Steve's head. He sighs. "Then… why did you? Suggest it, I mean."
Steve mulls over his next words carefully. He knows exactly why he suggested it, but explaining his reasoning will either be too much or not enough. Fuck it—
"You want the truth?"
"Always," Eddie replies, and even though he sounds exasperated, his eyes hold a flash of uncertainty.
"It looks like you haven't slept in days, and if the issue is the trailer then I can help with that. I'm so sick of everything being out of my control when all I want to do is take care of everyone, including you. No wait. I meant, shit-" Steve curses and runs a hand through his hair. He did not mean to say it like that. "I- I just want to help you. My parents are never home anymore, so it's always just me. If you're comfortable with being there then I want you there, Eddie."
Oh, great. Now he's done it. He's said way too much, more than any sane, normal person would say. And now he's made it weird, and awkward. God, he should've just kept his mouth shut. Maybe he should've driven away when he had the chance. If Eddie doesn't hate him already, he definitely will now. Steve is busy spiraling, anxiety clinging to every nerve cell in his body, but then—
"Jesus, man. That was so mushy, and weirdly sweet. The children have to be rubbing off on you." Eddie teases, his tone light and little breathy.
Steve shrugs, chancing a look up. When their eyes catch his heart is pounding in his ears. The gaze is still intense, but this time there is no traces of anger to be seen anywhere.
Eddie lets out a slow breath.
"It's okay, man. I think I misjudged this," He gestures vaguely to the space around them, "whole thing. And you. You're… different."
For some reason the words send a thrill down his spine. Steve feels veraciously awake for the first time in a long time. Whether it's from Eddie finally, finally well and truly noticing him again, or if it's from the anticipation of what's to come. He doesn't think he even cares, as long as Eddie is there with him.
"Yeah," Steve breathes. It's the only word he knows while his brain is busy turning into mush.
Eddie nods. "Alright, then. Cool."
Then he pockets his own car keys and gets in the goddamn car.