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Adrian Chase and those ridiculous puppy eyes, voice cracking as he pleaded on his knees to take him back. Red eyes, puffy lips, whining and whimpering with pure desperation on his face
You told him it was over, that you couldn’t do it anymore. That right now, having a relationship was the worst thing you could do for yourself.
Adrian instantly fell to his knees at the statement.
“No, no, please, I love you so much, please don’t go,” he shuffled up to you, your legs over the edge of the bed and his body coming up to press his chest against your knees.
“I’ll be so good for you, you won’t even believe how fucking good I’ll be! I’ll be- I’ll be like your fucking dog!” He pleads, hands instantly coming up to your thighs and running his palms down your smooth skin. His neck craned up toward you with eyes that practically glowed with desperation.
You shuddered as he lay his fingers on the sides of your legs, instantly closing your eyes to avoid how taunting his forlorn stare was.
“Adrian.. come on..” you fight to take a hand to his hair, resisting the urge to palm his soft curls underneath your finger tips.
“No, I’ll literally do fucking anything to keep you in my life,” he kneels over to mumble his face into the comforting warmth of your legs, taking a deep inhale of both stress and wanting for you. You felt the cool press of his glasses against your skin, the metal frame digging into you. It reminded you just how cold you felt in this moment, to push him away while he kept pulling.
“I don't care what I have to do,” he whines out your name, his face still tightly pressed against your legs, feeling his breath softly tickle the inside of your thigh. “Don’t make me go-“ his voice cracks once again, a wavering noise pressed up against your skin that makes your furrow your eyebrows in shame.
To see Adrian so torn, like a puddle of mess strewn along your lap, like this was all he ever wanted, to beg for you? It wracked your insides with a dishonourable guilt, his pleading making every way through to you, burdening your chest with a weight that felt too heavy to carry.
“Adrian-” you cut yourself with a sigh, feeling eyebrow quiver and furrow. You took a hand and moved it to hold his cheek, pulling him up to look up at you, his cheek instantly curling into your palm.
“Please- please,” He continued, barely even giving you the chance to speak for yourself. “I’ll shut up, I know that Chris says that I just need to shut up and that I talk too much, did I annoy you? Did I talk too much?” Adrian jumps to conclusions within a heartbeat, you instantly fight to interrupt him.
“No!” You shook your head violently, “I just- I need space!” You call out to him, your voice quivering.
“But what does that even meannn! What is “space”!” He whinges, craning his neck to cover his face in your cheek. Suddenly, he shoots up and runs to the other side of your bedroom.
“Is this the space!” He yells with arms flinging mercilessly around the air, despite the fact you were only a bare meter away. “Is this enough for you!” You furrow your eyebrows and cower into your hands, not sure whether you want to laugh or cry at this moment.
“Adrian- Adrian, get back here” You move your hands away from your face, taking a hand out to gesture him back to the bed. He follows obediently and in quick haste, showing no signs of hesitation as he practically trips over himself to get to you. The bed folded to his weight, feeling his thigh press against yours.
He watches you intently, his lips formed into a frown and his eyebrows lifting into a furrow. He’s silently gazing up at you, waiting patiently for you to speak, clinging onto every breath you expel.
There’s a long silence, you’re struggling to find the right words.
“Are you breaking up with me because you hate me?” He interrupts with a pout, you instantly shake your head and deny him.
“God! Adrian, no!” You furrow, taking a hand to his shoulder and clamping his shoulder tightly.
“Is it because you don’t want to hear my animal facts anymore?” Adrian speaks up once again, flinching at the way your hand clamped against his skin. Not at the gesture, but at the contrast between your words and your action, like all of this felt so impossibly confusing for him. Why couldn’t you just talk to him normally like he needed you to? What was this layer you painted in this relationship that made all the lines blur to a splotchy, wish-washy colour?
“No,” you quiet down slightly, moving your eyes, unable to look at his green, pleading iris.
“Is it.. Because I refused to use the blood-money on your Valentine's gift?” He peaked up at you through his lashes with an embarrassed curl of his lips. “You know I can’t use that money! It’ll put a generational curse on your bloodline, and I love you too much to curse you!”
You huffed out a laugh, tired yet nevertheless amused. Of course Adrian would do this, produce some insane reasoning to something that felt impossible for him to understand. You hated how much you admired this quality of his.
“It’s none of that,” you interrupted, making no comment on how he said he loved you. You wished it was easy for you to say as it was for him. You really wished. “It’s just- it’s something I can’t begin to explain baby,” you called him by his pet name, and you instantly noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed and a whimper threatened to escape from his lips.
“Babe… are you fucking with me? Are you pranking me?” He kept questioning you, like he’s fighting to tear you apart just with the way his words spilled helplessly past his lips.
“Adrian! Just- please stop talking.” You pushed to interrupt him, taking a hand to his cheek to pause the innate gesture of his jaw. He instantly curled into your hand, every press of warmth against making him forget how the soft touch of skin made him squirm. You were the only bit of human flesh he’d want to feel against all day.
“I don’t know what I did wrong..” his bottom lip quivers once again, his face forming into a sadness so dishonourable that it ate you alive. A tear breaks past his eye, trailing down the curve of his cheek at a speed impossible to stop.
“You did nothing wrong-” your voice cracks as you look down at him, thumb rolling against his cheek to dry out the wet corpse of sadness the tear left on his skin.
“What did I do then-” he wavered, another trickle of salt brimming down past his eyelids. “I don't understand-” Adrian calls out your name, “I did all of the things that make me happy to you, but you’re not” another crack in his voice lands abysmally to your already aching psyche. You never began to consider he had it this bad for you, the way he cried now sold to you the idea that you were his whole world, that you were taking everything away from him now.
“Adrian-” you called out, taking the hand that was against his palm to urge him to face toward you ,but he fights against it. He pulls his head away, unable to look you in the eye. His gaze was seemingly focused to the corner of the room, layers of darkness protruding from where the two walls met. His adam's apple quivered, his frown tugged helplessly down at the edges.
There’s a long silence, Adrian taking a hand to his eyes and wiping away the debris of his sadness, wetness pooling at his jumper sleeve. “I love you, okay? I had sex with you, I bonded with you, you’re my best friend" he finally turns to look down at you. Before slowly, he leans and crouches over your lap. His legs were sprawled on the sheets, hands coming to grasp your thighs from underneath you. He moved over to press his cheek weakly and hopelessly against your lap, glasses pushing up against his nose bridge. He closed his eyes shut, inhaling and exhaling deeply.
Your eyes trailed down to where he was laying in your lap, hands gripping onto your thighs with an impossible grip like this was the last place he’d ever want to be, that here, on your lap is exactly where he’d choose to die.
You had to speak, words bubbling the frame of your throat, forming sentences that sounded right internally, but never for the outside world. There was too much going on, and that was exactly the fault Adrian brought. It was too much. You admired his confidence, how buoyant and bubbly his personality was, but it made you feel.. Sad. Like somehow, you were at a fault for never being able to match him and his kind of greatness. That, inside of you, there was a kind of difference in personality that could never be suitable to his.
But, doubt lingered.
If he had treated you in any different regard to you now, like losing you meant nothing to him and that it was a forgivable act, you’d be able to cut him off. But here? With him whimpering puffy-eyed and whining incompetently to ‘take him back’ you had half a mind to reconsider everything.
His cheek mushed up against your bare skin, whispering prayers, apologies, all sorts of words to imply a level of sacrifice made only to you. Because, for him? It was all about you. Everything he did, every fact he learned, made only to satisfy himself to satisfy you. That you were a kind of light so dim that it made him only want to shine brighter for you. Everything was for you.
So, as he sobbed into your skin, body shuddering and words flying out of his mouth blabbering at a rate inconceivable to the human ear, you caved. A hand steadily moved to his curls, pushing them back his head as he cried into your lap. Soft soothing movements contradictory to the level of mercy he was begging from you.
In this moment, you wanted to apologise the same way he was. Because fuck, how could you ever be so cruel to try push him away? when all Adrian ever wanted in his life was you.