Work Text:
I'm gonna just jumble it all here. It's separated into chapters but I don't want to break it down right now.
September 1, 2000
The alarm clock was blaring rudely when she first came back into consciousness. She reached out absent-mindedly and batted at it, finally hitting the snooze button. She flopped back down onto her pillow and sighed, it was just too early to start this day. She closed her eyes, praying that she could attain a state of deep sleep in the 10 minutes before her alarm went off again.
“Gillian! Are you up?”
Her mother’s voice sounded brash and no nonsense, just as it had when she was a child. Gillian wondered (not for the first time) why she was living at home.
“I’m up!” She returned, sitting up on the edge of the bed in a fuzzy, sleepy haze.
Standing, she stumbled across the bedroom, eyes closed and feet familiar with this well-worn path. She pulled off her nightgown and fell into the shower, not bothering to turn on the lights or look in the mirror.
As the hot water pummeled her skin she felt even sleepier. Wasn’t hot water supposed to wake you up? She scrubbed herself vigorously and forced her half closed eyes to open up and meet the day. Not even the scent of her strawberry soap was appealing to her this morning. Turning off the water she rubbed her skin briskly with the thick pink towel, trying to prolong the warmth she was feeling. As she stepped onto the cold floor tiles she shivered and jumped quickly onto the soft pink rug in front of the mirror. She wiped at it with the towel, pushing away the mist and leaned closer to look at herself.
She was 30 years old, today. It was almost too much to bear. She dried her hair carelessly with the towel and stared herself in the eyes. She wrinkled up her nose at the image reflecting back on her. Her eyes were green, a wee bit o’ the Irish in her peering out. Gillian’s lashes were long and dark, sweeping exotically over her cheekbones when she blinked. Her hair was a deep rich chestnut, falling down her back to her bra line.
She was lovely she supposed, but not gorgeous or stunning. She looked a lot like her mother and that was fine because she had always thought her mother was lovely. She let her eyes travel slowly down the length of her body. Her skin was soft and smooth from years of lotions and creams, and right now it glowed with vitality from the heat of her shower. Her body was still in good shape, full and curvy in all the right places.
Mostly, it was her insides Gillian was dissatisfied with. She didn’t like being alone much, but she didn’t think she was very good company for any man either. She had been a single woman for two years now, and it was starting to hurt less when she thought about it. But it was also beginning to feel like she might never find someone to love her again and that hurt with new pain in places she had never felt it before. She didn’t want to think about being alone right now, so she shook her head impatiently and began putting in her contacts.
“You’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry!” her mother’s voice drifted in to her.
“Coming!” she yelled again. Dear God, how long have we been having this exact conversation every morning? Nothing’s changed since I was 12. Gillian finished drying her hair until it was shiny and flowing around her face. She applied her makeup hastily and rushed out of the bathroom. She had chosen an olive green pantsuit before bed the night before, and was grateful that she had taken the time to pick out jewelry and shoes as well. Bolting down the stairs, she glanced at the clock and realized her mother was right, she was running late.
“Morning honey,” her mother leaned in for a kiss, “Happy Birthday!”
“Thanks Mom,” she accepted the proffered bagel and kept moving to the door, “I’ll see you tonight!”
“Good luck with the interview honey!” Her mother called after her, shaking her head at her daughter.
Chapter 2:
Gillian was so disgusted with the traffic she almost couldn’t breathe. She was later than ever, but thank God for cell phones, at least she had been able to call them. She sat chewing the inside of her cheek in frustration and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. She despised sitting in traffic because it made her think about things she didn’t want to remember. Today was her birthday. That was supposed to be a day for celebration, but she was spending it alone. Well, having her mother around made it not quite so lonely, but she was definitely alone.
There were no friends to throw her a surprise party because she didn’t allow friends into her life anymore. All of her old friends had been alienated in the last couple years. She just didn’t give herself away anymore, she didn’t want to let people in because she just didn’t want to risk losing someone. It had been two years since she’d lost Doug. Two long and lonely years that Gillian just didn’t like to think back on.
As if in response to her thoughts, her right hip tightened involuntarily and she grimaced, forcing herself to relax until the spasm passed. I don’t want to think about this right now. I can’t think about it right now. She told herself over and over again, but some stubborn part of her wasn’t listening. I will never forget the sound of the metal folding in around us, like something from a nightmare. That car crumpled like a piece of paper. How did it happen? I forget. No you don’t, you haven’t forgotten…just think about it won’t you? If you think about it maybe we can get over this and get on with living!
Her inner voices warred continually over this topic; mostly she just ended up shoving them all away and focusing on something else. But there was just no way to do that successfully when she was boxed in on all sides by traffic, with no radio (thanks to the little punks who had broken into her car last week) and no one to talk to. She picked up her cell phone again, tempted to call her mother for a distraction. But she knew she would have to explain that she was stuck in traffic and her mother would start in on her about being late all the time. She just couldn’t deal with that right now either. As the traffic inched along her mind fought back and forth between the bitter past and the boring present.
She spotted the flashing red lights ahead of her, signaling to anyone who could see that there was an accident. Someone’s day was already off to a bad start. Suddenly, Gillian knew she was going to temporarily lose this mental battle as the memories, triggered by the hypnotic gyration of those amber lights, came crashing in around her.
“Why do we have to wait? Gillian, my God you’ll be 28 tomorrow. I’m 32 I think we’re old enough to have a life of our own!”
“Doug, please, can’t we just talk about this later?”
“No. That’s always your answer. I’m tired of waiting Gilly, I love you and I want you to marry me.”
“I told you I would.”
“I know, but I want to do it NOW, not in another year or two. Please, honey, I love you.”
“Doug…”
“Gilly, I know you’re scared. I don’t understand why you’re scared, but I won’t wait around forever while you try to decide. You need to let me know for sure. When?”
I was so terrified that he would tell me he was leaving if I didn’t just marry him.
“Okay, Doug, we can do it right away. How soon?” I remember his smile; he beamed at me and reached out for me.
“This weekend Gilly. Saturday. Oh, I love you so much honey, it’s gonna be great.” He leaned over to me and kissed me then, the sweetest softest kiss I have ever felt in my life. I remember the smell of his cologne and toothpaste. I remember his silky fine hair and hazel eyes. Why didn’t I just keep my eyes closed? Why didn’t I just keep looking at him? Why did I have to glance out the window?
“Oh my God Doug! Look out!”
He sat up of course, but by then it was already too late. Neither one of us had seen the car parked by the side of the road. Doug swerved, trying to compensate for our proximity to the parked car, but it was just too late. I glanced at him, and something in his face knew that he had made a big mistake. If we hadn’t have swerved so severely maybe everyone would have been okay. I will never forget the look on that man’s face as our car smashed into his. He had been standing by the side of the car. He was going to his trunk to get his CD’s according to the police.
We hit him full on. We hit him at 60 miles an hour and he hit the front of the car and flipped up and onto our windshield. He flipped like a shiny quarter right over our car and I know I heard his body crunch. It reminded me of a bug being smashed on the windshield, that sick and yet oddly satisfying splat when a particularly large bug loses the battle with a car.
Doug whipped the wheel to the left to avoid hitting the man, to avoid hitting the car but it was too late and we fishtailed. We hit both of them anyway and as we bounced like a rubber ball into traffic I heard Doug mutter, “Dear God.” We spun into the oncoming traffic and that’s when we were hit. I don’t remember how many times. Each time we were hit we would spin and bounce like a pinball. It seemed to go on forever that sick sound of glass and metal and brakes screeching and screams and pain and blessed darkness.
I remember that brief moment of consciousness when I woke up still trapped in the car. There were men around me and lights, so many red lights flashing that the men looked like monsters and not men at all. I tried to reach out for Doug; I wanted to touch him, but all I could find was that cold thing next to me. I think it was part of the car (it wasn’t part of the car Gilly). YES! It was part of the car! I was trying to talk to the men but they couldn’t hear me. Someone kept shining a bright light in my face and when they tried to move me I screamed. Then I blacked out.
When I woke up in the hospital I couldn’t move. I had broken my hip; my leg was shattered. My life was shattered. “Gilly?” It was mom and I sobbed, reaching out for her, but my collarbone was broken too and I couldn’t move my arms. She touched me and kissed my bruised and swollen face. “Doug?” I asked through aching teeth. Her eyes shifted just a little, but it was enough and I knew. I couldn’t believe it of course, wouldn’t believe it. I couldn’t cry; I just stopped living.
I missed his funeral. I missed the funeral of the man I loved. That was bad, but that wasn’t the worst. The other man died too. His name was Frank Mallory and he had left a wife and two boys behind him. I couldn’t think about the way his body had flown over our car like a rag doll. I couldn’t face his wife. She wanted to see me. She told mom she wanted to talk to me, to tell me it was all okay and not to blame myself. She wanted to express her sympathy about my own loss but there was just no way I could look into her eyes and bear the pain I would feel. Thankfully, no one else had died in the crash. Just Frank and Doug, but that was more than enough.
Of course, that wasn’t really true either was it? Come on Gillian, think about it just a little. Okay, okay…there was that one other death, but it didn’t really mean anything to me. Oh? It didn’t mean anything to you that your child died that night? No, no, no, no we don’t want to think about that. We don’t EVER think about that. I didn’t know I was pregnant, there’s no way I could have known. That’s true, but what about after you knew? What if that child had lived? You would have had a small piece of Doug with you right now. But it DIDN’T live did it? No, it didn’t live and we can deal with that. Oh? Can we? Are we dealing with it Gillian? Are we?
Chapter 3:
“Miss? Miss? Is everything okay here?” Gillian shook her head to clear away the sad fog of yesterday. Glancing ahead she saw that there was about ½ a mile of clear road ahead of her. Everyone else had moved on and she was still sitting here…waiting. There was another insistent knock on the window and Gillian glanced up. She blinked a few times, clearing her field of vision and realized the man by her window was a policeman. She looked down into her lap and breathed deeply, trying to swallow her embarrassment.
“Miss? Roll down your window!” Gilly did and gave him a weak smile. “Is everything okay?” he repeated, touching her on the shoulder. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing would come out. “Why don’t you step out of the car for a minute? Pull over here and step out.”
She did as he asked and stepped from the car, shading her eyes with her hand as they came face to face. He was a tall man, towering over her 5’3” frame. She guessed his height was about 6’2”, same as her father. The policeman’s eyes were hidden behind standard police issue sunglasses, but his smile was warm and broad.
“You had me worried there for a minute. You weren’t responding to me and I thought maybe you were…passed out I guess.” She bit back a smile and hung her head feeling embarrassed and somewhat ashamed.
“I guess I was really out there wasn’t I? I was just thinking about…well, I’m 30 today and I guess I was just reviewing how much my life has sucked.” He considered this for a moment and then laughed out loud, his entire body shook with the laughter. She smiled, thinking how nice it was to hear someone laugh that way.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s probably not too funny to you…but I remember 30, and it’s nothing compared to how you’re gonna feel when you hit 40.”
He removed his sunglasses and wiped the sweat from his brow. His eyes were gray like a dove’s wing, almost translucent, and very ethereal. They looked at each other directly for a moment, and then she quickly ducked her head, avoiding his gaze. “Man, it’s getting hot out here.” He glanced up at the sky, cloudless and brilliant summer blue.
“You don’t look 40,” Gillian commented as his eyes came back to hers. He smiled again, and the white of his teeth was somewhat shocking.
“I don’t feel 40 either I guess. But maybe it’s my kids that keep me young, who knows?”
Gillian felt a funny little drop in her stomach and realized that for a moment she had been hoping that he was single. Her mouth tightened just a little and the officer noticed it, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. Gillian began to mentally beat on herself for thinking about a stranger that way, especially since she had been mooning over Doug only moments ago. She half smiled at him and forced herself to ask, “How many kids do you have?”
“Two,” he replied easily, reaching for his wallet.
He flipped past credit cards and discount cards and some old black and white photos before he came to the children’s pages. He looked at them for a moment, his eyes warming and his face reflecting a deep-seated love and then he showed them to her.
“This is Kristen, she’s 9 and this is Megan, she’s 6.”
“They’re lovely.” Gillian thought they were beautiful.
“You have kids?”
“Nope, no husband either…” Gillian said wryly, “That’s one of the reasons I was ‘spaced out’ as you put it. It’s depressing having to take stock of your life.”
“Only if you compare yourself to the world’s standards,” he reprimanded gently, “if you compare yourself to what you expect from you then it won’t be quite as harsh.” She considered this for a moment, pulling her hair up off her neck to allow some heat to escape.
She closed her eyes, fighting the visions of the accident that threatened to smother her. “I guess you’re right. We can’t change the past can we?” She opened her eyes and saw him looking at her in a concerned way.
“Nope, what’s done is done.” He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, “This may sound a little corny, but Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks,” she felt a little giddy from the heat and his hand felt incredibly heavy. His eyes were weighing down on her and she wondered briefly if she was going to lose it. She felt tears stinging her eyes and blinked a few times, hoping to clear them away before he noticed.
“What’s your name?” He had that look on his face that said “Time to figure out if she’s a criminal or a normal citizen.”
“Gillian,” she said softly, “it’s Gillian Daugherty.”
“Ahhh…a bit Irish are we?” He asked, affecting a brogue. “Yes, I am thank you. And you are??”
“Oh, I’m a little Irish myself, but mostly I’m a Scot.” His brogue changed from Irish to Scottish and she laughed at him, feeling confident that he didn’t think she was a loony.
“No, what I meant was, what’s your name?”
“Oh,” still talking in his Scottish accent, “name’s Reed, Officer Reed Mitchell at your service.” He reached out his hand to formally greet her, and she was warmed even further by the size of him, and the strong grip of his hand around hers. His palm was dry even in this heat, and she could feel the power in the arm behind this hand, which was currently cradling hers gently. For a moment she shifted her consciousness to their hands and allowed herself to really feel him. His palm was broad and rough, but not calloused. His fingers, strong and square, were wrapped around her entire hand. She could feel his pulse throbbing rhythmically and she felt a wave of passion shriek through her. It startled her and she realized she had been standing there holding his hand for more than the customary few seconds and she pulled away.
“Is everyone okay?” Gillian asked, indicating the accident.
He cleared his throat, “Yeah, just a little fender bender first thing in the morning.” He shrugged, “Happens every day.” He swiped mindlessly at his forehead again and ran a hand through his dark salt and pepper hair. Suddenly remembering that she was incredibly late for her interview Gillian slapped her forehead lightly.
“I have to go, I can’t believe I forgot that I’m late for an interview. It must be this heat. I’m going brain dead!”
Reed walked with her to her car and when she was belted in he leaned into the window, taking up most of it with his shoulders, “It was nice to meet you Miss Daugherty, strange, but nice.” His eyes roamed over her face for a moment and then he pulled away, replaced the sunglasses and moved to the front of her car, waving her into the traffic. She waved as she passed him, thinking this day was certainly off to a strange start.
Chapter 4:
Reed watched her drive off. He felt genuinely sorry that he didn’t know her better. On an impulse he jotted down her license plate number and stuck it in his pocket. He was vaguely attracted to her, only vaguely because he was a married man. His wife was a good and lovely woman and he loved her very much. His children were wonderful and he knew his life was good. But for some reason he was still attracted to the woman he had just met. She seemed so sad, and yet full of life. Her body, which was dressed impeccably, was full of unrealized passion. He smiled when he thought about her embarrassment as she suddenly realized she had been holding his hand too long.
His thoughts ran to the moment when she had pulled that lovely mass of chestnut hair up off her neck. The urge to lean in and kiss her had been overpowering. It was not something he normally wanted to do to people he just met. He had been a cop for 15 years, and in that time he had never had an affair, a fling or a flirtation. But something about Gillian had enticed him. He raised his hand to his forehead again, to swipe one last time at the sweat, but as his hand passed in front of his nose he caught the scent of her shampoo on his hand, strawberry. It was the same smell that had overpowered him when he leaned into her car. It was in her hair and on her clothes and suddenly it was his turn to feel the wave of desire.
He was standing there, stupidly sniffing his hand when his partner came up. “What in the hell are you doing?” Reed dropped his hand and shrugged, trying not to look embarrassed. “Just thinking, that’s all.” Marty raised his eyebrows and smirked, “Okay partner, whatever you say.” Martin Stockton had been Reed’s partner since he joined the force. They were also great friends, but Reed was not about to tell him what had just happened. There were some times in your life you just had to keep things inside.
“You ready to eat?” Marty asked, still giving Reed the shit-eating grin. Reed opened his mouth to say something smart, but decided he would have done the same thing if he caught Marty sniffing some girl’s perfume. “Let’s eat.” He headed back to the car, not waiting to see if Marty was following him. Of course, he was. “So, what was that all about? That whole scene?” “What do you mean?” “Oh come on!” Marty pulled on his sleeve, stopping him before he got into the car, “What do you mean? Don’t play innocent with me partner. I saw how pretty she was. I also saw more than a little interest on your end, and then there was that whole hand smelling thing. What gives?”
Reed stared at him, not wanting to reveal anything about Gillian, but knowing that Marty had probably figured most of it out already. “She just smelled nice that’s all, and when we shook hands I guess the perfume got on me. So, I was smelling it. No crime in that.” “There will be a crime in that if Cindy smells that on you. Murder in the first.” Marty laughed, pleased with himself. “Okay, buddy, if you say it’s harmless, it’s harmless. Whatever.” Marty got in the car and requested lunch for them. Reed stood outside the car for a moment, not knowing how to feel about this whole morning. He decided that it was better to just forget the whole thing for now. Yeah, just forget her and let it go, that’s the smart thing to do. “I’ve never been too smart.” Reed muttered to himself as he got in the vehicle and headed out for lunch.
Chapter 5:
“Thank you so much Miss Daugherty, you’ll be hearing from us.” Gilly was not sure she wanted to hear those words. It meant she would be back in the work force of America again. How depressing. Gillian was back in her car, her first interview over and done. It had gone well, but her heart just wasn’t in it. She didn’t want to get back into the business world, but she needed the money badly. After the accident she had gotten a large settlement from Doug’s estate. Her medical disability had taken care of her for a while and she had moved in with her mom, which cost her next to nothing. Her mother would only allow her to pay for groceries and part of the utilities.
Since she didn’t want to go out anymore and she didn’t have friends to see, her money stretched further and further. Her mother had patiently waited for her to heal her heart and soul, but almost a year had passed and Gillian was still deep in depression and mourning her loss. Her mother had taken a tough stance with her, informing her that she was wasting what was left of her own life. It was not new news to Gillian, however, she didn’t want to think about living without Doug. Her mother had finally convinced her to go see a counselor. She had gone, but she only told him as much as she had to, and never what was really bothering her.
As a last resort she had taken to gardening and thankfully it soothed her injured soul. She had begun doing flower arrangements for her mothers friends and then for special occasions and everyone told her she had a flair for it. But she wasn’t ready to commit to doing that full time either, so it was time to get a grown up job that would pay the bills so she could find a place of her own. Now, sitting in her car feeling hot and uncomfortable in her interview suit she longed for the peace of her garden at home. She was beginning to think she might never be happy with anything.
Her mind wandered the fresh path back to her conversation with Officer Mitchell this morning. “Reed.” She was still quite distressed that he was a married man; it just didn’t seem fair. In her mind she toyed with the idea of what it might be like to kiss him, to feel his hands on her body. The thought sent delightful fingers of pleasure coursing down her back and into her legs. She fanned herself with a piece of paper, waiting for the air conditioner to kick in and cool both her and the car off a little. She shook her head impatiently, trying to clear him away.
She pulled out her appointment book and looked up the address of her next interview. She had 2 more interviews today. What had she been thinking? She imagined for a moment that she was at home in the garden in shorts and a tank top, drinking lemonade as she pruned her roses. “Happy Birthday to me…” she said rather despondently. Sighing, she pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic.
Chapter 6:
Several days later Gillian was back in the same parking lot. She was here for a second interview. She supposed she should be feeling successful and relieved that she was most likely going to have this job. Instead, she felt the loss of her freedom more acutely than before. She had been sitting in her car for 10 minutes trying to decide whether she should go in or just go home. The silence in the car was somewhat eerie, broken only by the humming of the air conditioner. Gillian kept looking at the building before her and feeling that it was some giant entity waiting to devour her and suck the life from her.
An ambulance pulled in with its sirens blaring and lights flashing. Gillian wondered what was going on. The thought crossed her mind that perhaps the building had already devoured someone else. She laughed nervously at herself and finally decided that she would go inside for the interview. She stepped out of her car, locked it and moved toward the entrance of the building. The EMT’s were already inside, and there was a small crowd gathering around the ambulance. Gillian could hear the murmurs of speculation as she got closer.
As she crossed the parking lot a squad car pulled in and parked behind the ambulance. Gillian’s heart jumped excitedly, and she couldn’t stop herself from looking to see who got out of the car. She stopped where she was, unable to take another step until she knew for sure. The first man, the driver, she didn’t know. He was between 40 and 50 years old with reddish blond hair. He was slim and fit and very attractive. He glanced around the parking lot in a disinterested sort of way and she could see even from a distance that his eyes were blue. He nodded to her and moved toward the ambulance.
Slowly, Gillian allowed her eyes to look at the passenger of the car. He was on the radio inside the car and she couldn’t see him clearly yet. He stood up and bent back into the car to retrieve his hat. He straightened and her heart did another double take. It was Officer Mitchell. She was frozen on the spot. She wondered if he might think she was following him. She realized that was a ridiculous thing to think. She looked over her shoulder at her car. It was just a few steps away, but right now it looked like a mile.
Turning back toward the policemen, she looked at him more closely this time, noticing how dark his brown hair looked, and seeing the beginnings of some gray hair around his temples. His arms were bulging through the material of his uniform, and she sighed softly, again imagining how it would feel to have them around her. She couldn’t see an ounce of fat on the man, just muscle rippling and moving beneath his tanned skin. He had on his sunglasses again, but she didn’t need to see his eyes to know that they were riveting. He was carrying a clipboard and making notes as he moved to the ambulance. Maybe he hadn’t seen her. Maybe if she turned right now and got in her car she could sit and watch him and he would never notice her.
But he was a police officer and noticing things was his business. It was a matter of seconds before he looked her way, but when his eyes landed on her it was obvious he knew who she was. She continued walking toward them, unconsciously smoothing her hair back around her ears. She felt very vulnerable as he watched her move in his direction. Gillian was going to have to walk right past him to get into the building. She didn’t want to interrupt while he was doing his job, so she smiled at him and kept walking. “Isn’t that?” She heard his partner asking him. He murmured something back, but she didn’t hear him clearly.
Suddenly he was at her side, holding her elbow lightly. The touch sent another wave of desire through her. She was sure she had never felt this way before, not from a simple touch. “Gillian? What are you doing here?” She resolved to remain calm and turned to him. “I have a second interview in this building today. Believe it or not they still want me even after I was almost an hour late the other day.” She tried to add a little laugh to convince him she was unaffected, but it came out sounding shrill. “I can’t imagine anyone not wanting you…” It came out of his mouth without thought behind it and he was immediately embarrassed and sorry. She swallowed hard, feeling that there must be something stuck in her throat. “What a kind thing to say…thank you.”
He removed his hand finally, feeling that he was stepping over the line in too many ways. His eyes searched her face and she wondered when he had removed his glasses. His eyes stopped on her lips and then moved slowly back up to her eyes. She knew without a doubt that he was imagining the same things she had been thinking about since they met. She felt like she might melt right there on the pavement and was suddenly grateful for the ambulance at the curb. The silence between them stretched on interminably until Marty came up.
“How do you do I’m Officer Martin Stockton. You must be Gillian.” She pulled her eyes from Reed and looked at the lighter cornflower blue eyes of his partner. “Officer Stockton.” He repeated. “Pleased to meet you, I’m Gillian.” He chuckled softly, “Yeah, I figured that one out on my own.” “Oh.” She noticed he had a light smattering of freckles across his nose and she found it adorable. Marty was looking back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on. Gillian looked back to Reed, trying to find some words that would not give away her feelings.
Marty took her in. She could not be more than 5’3” tall. Her hair was dark brown with reddish highlights and although it was pulled back today he could tell that it was long. Her eyes were bright jade green and her skin was a lovely warm peach color. She was stunning Marty decided. Her cheekbones were high and delicate, her nose fine and straight and his eyes roamed slowly down to her sleek neck. It was easy to imagine holding her and kissing the hollow of her throat. Marty felt his blood surge and realized why Reed had not been able to stop talking about her in the days since they had first met.
“I…need to…” she cleared her throat nervously, “I should go now.” Reed heard the EMT’s coming out of the building behind him and Marty signaled to him. “Yeah, I need to…also.” Suddenly he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a business card. He handed it to her and as she took it and looked at it he said, “If you ever need anything, you know, anything at all you can just call me.” “Okay,” she whispered, too unsure of herself to say more. There was just no way this could go anywhere from here. “Thank you.” And suddenly he was gone, whisked away by the rush of people and EMT’s and yelling.
Chapter 7:
An hour and a half later Gillian emerged from the building. She was employed. She started on Monday. She didn’t feel the deep sense of calm she had expected but she thought that probably had something to do with seeing Reed before the interview. She was going to be working in production for this company. Shuffling paper and wasting time was more like it.
As she unlocked her car she saw a note on her windshield and pulled it off. It read: This Saturday there is a barbeque for all the officers in our precinct. It’s casual and will be a lot of fun. I would really like to take you. Will plan on picking you up at 4pm at your house. Here is my number if you need to call and cancel but I am really hoping you won’t. Marty. She read it over several times, not sure what to make of it. She got into the car and sat there with the note in her hand weighing the choices.
If I go I will get to see Reed. The thought thrilled her. Yeah, Reed and his wife, which should be enough to end this silly little crush you’ve got. She shook her head to stop all the internal noise, but it continued on unaided. On the other hand, maybe I will end up liking Marty and that would be good too. Although she could not honestly say that she would be able to pay attention to Marty if Reed was there. She had not been out to a public function in so long it was terrifying to consider. Well, what the hell I don’t have anything better to do anyway and it’s not like there are men beating down my door. That decision made, Gillian decided to take herself out for ice cream and a trip to her favorite bookstore. It was Thursday, so she had two days until the picnic and four days until her new job started. Things could be worse.
She was sitting in the café of her bookstore reading a new novel by her favorite author. She had been here so many times in the past two years that it truly felt like it was HER bookstore. She re-read the same page about three times before she realized her mind was drifting. She was off on some fantasy where she was Reed’s wife, waiting for him to come home and make love to her. She had the horrifying thought, “What if something happens to Reed while he’s on the job?” She had never had to think about sitting at home while the man you love is out doing a dangerous job, and the thought froze her to the core. It wasn’t hard to picture herself with Reed. The fact that he was married seemed like a technicality, and although she would never dream of trying to break them up, in her fantasy world his wife did not have a part.
She wondered if she would have fun at the picnic with Marty and realized that she probably would. He seemed like a really nice man. She was planning what to wear when her cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi honey, it’s mom.”
“Hi mom, what’s up?”
“Well, I wanted to let you know that some flowers just arrived here for you.” “Who are they from?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t read the card. Do you want me to?”
“Yeah, would you?”
She could hear the sound of tissue paper rattling and then an envelope opening. “Okay, it says ‘Really want to see you again soon. Please go with M. on Saturday. With affection, R.’”
Gillian could feel her heart pounding loudly.
“Gilly? You still there?”
“Yeah, mom, I’m here.”
“Do you know what that’s all about? Who’s M? Who’s R?”
“Nobody I want to talk about just yet mom, don’t go getting your undies in a bunch, okay? Guess what. I got the job.”
“You did? Oh, honey that’s great! I’m so happy for you. Are you happy for you? You don’t sound too thrilled.”
“I’m okay with it.”
“Well, I think it will be good for you to get out and meet some people. Unless you’ve already met someone??”
“Mom. We will talk about this later. I’ll be home in a while.”
As Gillian hung up the phone she realized she was quivering all over. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact feeling, excitement or maybe joy, she didn’t know. “He’s married Gilly. He’s married.” She spoke aloud just to make sure she would hear herself. But his eyes were in her mind as she finished her latte and headed for home. Gray eyes, broad smile and the way he looked at her lips, yes it was definitely the fodder for fantasy. But this was real life.
Chapter 8:
“I wasn’t gonna tell you that I asked her. I wanted to sort of surprise and shock you when we showed up together, but I decided that wasn’t playing fair. You need to see her when Cindy’s around so you can remember just why you’ve been so faithful all these years bud.” Reed looked out his window, trying to ignore Marty’s voice in his ear. “Not for nothing have I been your partner all these years Reed. You need to realize what you’re doing.” “What am I doing Marty? Do you know? If you could tell me I’d appreciate it because I don’t have a clue. I can’t explain it. She makes me want to be young again. I see her and it’s like I don’t have another life at all. What’s more, I don’t want my other life when I’m with her.”
“That’s crazy talk Reed! You just met her and you don’t know the first thing about her. If she’s so great why isn’t she married?” “I can’t believe you just said that. If you’re so great why aren’t you married?” Marty gave him a look and he raised his eyebrow back at him. “What? It’s true. Maybe I’ll get to know her a little better at the picnic.” “No, Reed, I am gonna get to know her a little better at the picnic. YOU are gonna be spending some quality time with Cindy and the girls.” “The girls will be at camp.” Reed replied offhandedly.
“Okay, so maybe you don’t come to the picnic at all and you and Cindy just spend some time alone?” “Look Stockton, I know you think you’re doing something for the good of mankind here, but I just want to get to know this girl a little better, that’s all. I’m not saying I’m leaving my wife or my family…” “No, you’re not saying it yet buddy, but if you’re thinking about that woman….I mean if you are seriously thinking about her at all.” Reed looked out the window again, wondering what he was thinking. Was he thinking about her seriously? Where exactly were his thoughts going? Mostly to the bedroom, he realized. He wanted more than anything to lay his body up against hers in bed. He wanted to wrap his hands up in her hair and kiss her until neither of them could breathe.
“Reed? Jesus man, you’re a lost cause.” Martin slammed the door and headed into the station. Right now he wanted to be far away from Reed because if he had to sit there and listen to him justify his behavior he was gonna knock him out. Marty was questioning whether or not he should have invited Gillian to come to the picnic with him at all, but at the time it had seemed like something he had to do. He threw open his locker and angrily removed his shoes. If Reed wanted to throw his life away well that was his business, but damn it, Martin was not going to help him do. He was not going to approve of it and he was not going to praise Reed for doing it that was for damn sure.
“Stockton?” Marty looked up frowning, “What?” “You got a phone call, you want it in here?” “Yeah, sure.” Marty rolled his eyes, “now what?” He sat down on the couch in the break room and picked up the phone, “Stockton here.” “Marty?” It was a woman’s voice, and although Martin wasn’t sure it was Gillian, he changed his tone immediately, “Yeah, this is Marty. Who’s this?” “Ummmm.” He heard her clear her throat, “This is Gillian, you, uh…invited me to the picnic?” He smiled broadly and it came through the phone to her, “Gillian! Hi! Hey, you’re not calling to cancel are you?” She smiled when she heard the warmth of his voice. “No, actually I’m calling to see what type of clothes I should wear. Umm…I wanted to know if I should bring anything like my swimsuit, or food, or a blanket or something?”
Martin leaned back on the couch and smiled even more. This girl was the real deal. He glanced up as Reed walked in and said rather loudly, “Yeah, uh, Gillian I suppose you should bring a swimsuit and towel.” Reed’s head rotated so quickly he almost hit his face on his locker door. Martin was enjoying this immensely. “The precinct is supplying the food and beverage. But a blanket might be nice to have if we get sick of sitting in those god-awful loungers they always have at these deals.” Gillian laughed and Martin held the phone away from his ear a little so Reed could hear it. Reed was now standing in front of Marty and straining to hear her voice.
“Okay, well Marty I’m really looking forward to this, so I guess I’ll…um…I’ll see you on Saturday?” “I’ll see you then. Hey, if you have any other questions, or if you want to call me at home, I’ll give you that number.” “Okay.” He could hear her digging around for a pen and paper, “Ready.” Reed put his hands on his hips as Marty rattled off his home number and then ended the call. “Mmmmm,” said Marty, sniffing the phone, “Strawberries.” He laughed out loud as Reed marched back over to his locker and began slamming around in it.
“Look buddy, if all goes well I may start dating this girl. So you better learn to deal with it, okay?” “Whatever!” Reed spat, barely able to contain himself. For the first time in his life he wished he was a single man and could play these games. Martin smiled into his locker. If he stopped to think about it he knew he would be even angrier than Reed was. Cindy was a good woman and she had been loyal to Reed even when other men had thrown themselves at her. Marty knew this because she had come to him to talk about it. Of course, Reed had always been a good man until now which was why Marty was having such a hard time working this out.
He was without a doubt Martin’s best and dearest friend. It wasn’t worth losing the friendship over. Martin closed his locker and touched Reed on the shoulder, “Look, I know it’s not my place to be your judge and jury. But I love you and Cindy and I would hate to see anything happen to you.” Reed opened his mouth to speak and Marty interrupted him, “Just hold on. If I see Gillian, you will get to see her too. We can double date or have barbeques or whatever and you will be able to see her and get to know her better. I promise that I won’t get romantically involved until you decide that she’s not your type. On the other hand, if you think she’s your type and you want to date her…don’t involve me. Just let me know and then leave me out of it, okay?”
Reed was looking at Marty with disbelief. “Why are doing this?” Martin rolled his eyes, “I just told you, Jesus you’re thick headed.” He headed to the door, “Look, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Just promise me that you won’t make a fool of either of us on Saturday.” Reed nodded dumbly and stared after Martin as he headed out the door.
Chapter 9:
“Megan if I have to ask you one more time I’m sending you to camp without it!” Cindy shook her head wondering why she went to all the trouble every year to send her girls off to camp. Both of them resented going and this year they were going to miss the picnic. “Mom! I don’t want to wear my old bathing suit to camp. I look stupid in it!” Megan stood in the doorway looking desperate. Her large gray eyes reflecting so much of her father that Cindy just couldn’t stay angry with her. “Do you want to get a new suit?” “Yes. But mostly I want to stay here with you guys. I don’t like camp. I get scared.” Cindy felt her inner turmoil for the 100th time.
Kristen came in and plopped onto her bed. “I don’t want to go either.” “I know,” Cindy said patiently, “but didn’t you have fun last year after you got there?” Kristen rolled her eyes, “Sure Mom, whatever.” Megan crawled onto the bed with her sister and sat looking sadly at her mother. “We aren’t discussing this.” Cindy said with finality and went to the dresser to pull out Megan’s old swimsuit.
“I’m home!” “Daddy!” both girls screamed simultaneously and went running toward his voice downstairs. Cindy sat on the bed feeling a little angry. She always ended up being the bad guy and she was just sick of it. She was being the responsible parent and here comes beloved ‘daddy’ to save the day. She rolled her eyes (if she had seen herself she would have known where Kristen got that look) and went back to the dresser. A few minutes later she heard the tv click on and her husband’s footfall in the hallway.
“Hi honey, I hear we have some mutiny about summer camp?” He stood in the doorway looking tired and drained. She felt a small surge of guilt; his days were no piece of cake either. She shrugged, “Neither of them wants to go. I can’t say I blame them, but I need a break Reed.” He smiled at her, the tired look in her eyes more than a little familiar to him. “What do we do?” She shrugged again and lay back on the bed, “I wish I knew. I feel so bad about forcing them to go…but part of me feels like it’s the right thing to do. Jeez, hon, I just don’t know what to do. But the thought of them staying home makes me want to cry.”
He lounged comfortably in the doorway, watching his wife. She was a beautiful woman with thick wavy blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She was as lovely now as she had been the day they were married. He allowed his gaze to drift over the room and thought he would die if he couldn’t stand here in his daughters’ room and feel this way. How could he think of risking all of this for sex?
Cindy sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking at him, “What?” “Why do the girls want to stay? Is it because they’ll miss the picnic?” Cindy nodded, “I’m pretty sure that’s what it comes down to.” He nodded, mulling it over. “What if we let them stay home and they come to the picnic with us. Then…” he put up a hand to stop her protestations, “then instead of sending them away, you go off and take a vacation yourself. Go to your mom’s, or take Tina and go on one of those spa weekends.” Cindy’s eyebrows were raised and she smiled slowly, “Really? Can we afford it?”
He shrugged, “Can we afford not to do it?” She sighed, “No, I need a break. I’m sick of being a mommy.” He laughed at her, “By the time you get back I’ll be sick of being a mommy.” She stood up and moved to him, hugging him close. “You’re the best Reed.” He could feel the comfortable fit of her breasts against him and her hips in his hands. Every inch of her was like home. He leaned into her hair and inhaled, she smelled like roses. “Reed?” “Yeah?” “Are you ever sorry we did this?” He almost drew back, he was so shocked by the question. He thought it over, wanting to be honest with her and yet not wanting to hurt her in any way.
“There are days…” he began leaning into her hair, “when I want to trade places with Marty. Just go home to my own place and veg out in front of the t.v. all night eating chips and wearing just by undies. But there are also days when I think how lonely that must be and I can’t wait to yell ‘I’m home’ so I will hear those little voices screaming just for me.” “Me too,” she said softly. “I feel that way too.” She leaned up and kissed him on the lips, softly. She twisted her body against him in just the right way and he caught his breath, knowing what she was wanting before she asked. “They’re watching Cartoon Network, right?” “Yes,” he replied thickly, already pulling her to their room. “We’ve got about a ½ hour before they notice we’re not there…”
Chapter 10:
Saturday morning had come so quickly Gillian was barely able to sleep. She was up at 9 am which was unusual, and she had already discarded most of her wardrobe onto her bedroom floor when her mother came in around 10. “What in the hell?” “I don’t have anything to wear!” Gillian wailed, sounding like a teenager. “I need something that I can wear over my bathing suit, and something in case it gets cold later. I’m not going!” She collapsed on the floor in a dramatic pile and her mother started laughing. “Now I know why it’s taken over a year for you to get a date…” “MOM!” They both laughed as her mother looked through what was left in the closet.
“What color is your suit?” “It’s navy blue and white.” “Okay…” her mother flipped through the clothes in the closet and finally pulled out a denim mini skirt, a red button up top and some low-top sneakers. “Here, this will go over your suit and look adorable.” Reaching back in she pulled out a pair of gray cotton slacks and a black sweater. “This is for after swimming and for when it gets chilly. You can either put the red shirt with these slacks, or the sweater depending on the weather. Don’t forget to take dry underwear.” “MOM!” Gillian stood up and hugged her mother, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Are you going to get dressed now? It’s hours til he gets here.” “No, I have to take a shower and do my hair and I want to get my nails done.” Her mother smiled, this was more like the girl she remembered. “Do you think I should wear something flowery or a light perfume?” She sniffed at the various bottles on the dresser, “What do men like?” “Naked women, regardless of how they smell…” “Mom!” Gillian hurled a shirt at her, “Behave!” “I like that strawberry stuff you always wear. Just use that.” Her mother left the room quietly, leaving Gilly to fret on her own.
Some five hours later, Gilly was ready to go. She had her bag packed with clean clothes, a blanket, makeup, aspirin, a towel and several clips for her hair. She had her nails done fire engine red and her toenails too. She stood nervously by the front window, chewing her cheek and looking up and down the street. Her mother had already left to run errands, claiming that if she had to watch Gilly fuss any longer she would throttle her.
Martin pulled up in his ’69 Pontiac LeMans convertible, hoping she had her hair pulled up. As he got out of the car she came bouncing down the steps and he was secretly thrilled that she wasn’t going to keep him waiting. “HI!” She smiled warmly and put her things in the back seat. Much to his delight her hair was in a pony tail. “Hi!” He hurried around and opened the door for her, and closing it behind her. “Everything okay?” She nodded, “I’m a little nervous. This is the first time I’ve been out in about two years. Are these people nice?” Martin nodded, grinning. “They are some of the nicest people I’ve ever known. I’m sure you’ll like them.”
They pulled out of the driveway and the wind whipped across them. “Should I put the top up?” “No way! This is great!” He smiled again, thinking that it might be hard to keep up his end of the bargain if she was always so wonderful. He turned the radio on and they rode in amicable silence for a while. Every once in a while he could hear her singing along with the radio and her voice was very pleasant. “Why did you decide to come?” He asked her finally. She shrugged, “I thought you seemed like a nice guy. I need to get out more often. You’re cute.” She smiled and turned her face out the window. “Why did you ask me?” He grinned, trying to decide whether to be truthful or lie.
“I didn’t have a date. You’re gorgeous. Reed thinks you’re nice, but lonely.” She turned to him, surprised, “Lonely?” She chuckled, “Doesn’t miss much, does he?” Marty shook his head, “Never.” “How long have you two been partners?” Martin laughed, “Since his first day on the force. He was so wet behind the ears I had to follow him with a towel for the first three months.” Gillian laughed and it felt so pure and good to her wounded soul. “I think I’m glad I decided to come.” “I know I’m glad,” Martin said flashing her a warm grin. “How old are you?” Gillian asked, turning in her seat to face him. Marty could tell they were getting down to the serious question time.
“I’m 37. I’ve been a cop for 15 years. I’m an only child. My mother died when I was 22, right after I joined the force. I’m glad she was around to see that. She was proud of her son, the cop.” He glanced at her and noted that she was listening intently. “I don’t see my dad much. He moved to Florida to live in the sunshine and we don’t talk too often. We love each other, but you know, we’re men.” “Have you ever been married?” “No, I was engaged once, but she wasn’t ready to commit herself to just one guy. After that I just never met anyone I wanted to get serious with. I don’t have any kids either. I do have a dog, though, if that interests you at all.” Gillian smiled, “I like dogs, I just don’t have the time to give to their care right now.”
“How long has Reed been on the force?” He eyed her carefully, but saw that she was driven by casual interest at the moment. “Fifteen years. He’s 35. He and Cindy have been married for fifteen years as well. They dated in high school. You know, the couple you hate, cheerleader and quarterback. He’s got two girls…” “Yeah, he showed me pictures of them.” Gillian interrupted, “Kristen and Megan, right?” “Yeah, they are great kids. I love them both to death. I guess I would almost consider them mine…if I had to explain how I feel about them.”
Gillian nodded and tipped her head back to absorb the sun beaming down on them. “Hmmm…feels nice. What a great day.” Martin smiled, he wasn’t sure how Reed was going to handle this. He was having a hard time keeping his mind off her body and this was supposed to be a platonic date. “Have you ever been married?” He questioned. She looked at him in alarm and realized he was just curious. “No. No, I was…engaged. He died.” She swallowed and turned her face away from him.
Martin realized too late that he had hit a nerve. He watched her carefully and remembered her saying this was the first date she had been on in over a year. He felt remorse, but knew there was no way to repair his careless injury. “I’m sorry, that must be hard.” She nodded, keeping her back to him.
Gillian was battling inner demons, trying desperately not to cry. She knew he had not meant to hurt her, but it was just not a question she was ready to answer. She let the wind sweep over her face, drying her unshed tears. She could sense that he was concerned and feeling guilty and she didn’t want to be responsible for ruining their time together, so she turned back to him. “I’m not really healed yet. I’m sorry if I over-reacted. It’s just still hard for me to talk about.” He nodded. “So did you get that job?” She smiled, pleased that he remembered her interview and relieved that he was changing the subject.
“Yeah, I start on Monday. But I’m not really thrilled about it. I guess I don’t want to give up my freedom. I’d rather… well, I guess I’d rather do just about anything than work full time.” She grimaced and stuck out her tongue, “Yuck, you know?” He chuckled, “Yeah, I know.”
Twenty minutes later they pulled into the beach/picnic area. She felt an involuntary tightening of her stomach and tried to take several deep breaths to calm herself. The lot was full of cars and motorcycles, the air was full of the sounds of screaming children and men’s voices. As Martin came around the car to open her door he was ambushed. “Uncle Marty! Uncle Marty!” Two pairs of arms wrapped around him, crushing his waist.
“Hey! It’s my peanut and my doodlebug!” Gillian smiled and let herself out of the car. She was immediately subjected to their inquisitive stares. “This is Gillian. Gillian, this is peanut-head…” “I’m Kristen!” The older of the two stated, giving Martin a light punch, “And this is Megan.” “Nuh-uh, I’m Doodlebug, right Marty?” “That’s right baby.” He picked her up and nuzzled her. Kristen was observing Gillian closely. “She’s pretty.” She said to Martin in a conspiratorial voice.
They all moved toward the picnic area and Gillian could see countless couples, a sea of unfamiliar faces. She involuntarily paused and held her ground. Kristen turned and gave her a questioning look, “Are you coming?” Gillian looked at her, “I’m nervous.” Kristen smiled, a beaming, blinding smile just like her father’s, “Don’t be nervous. These people are really nice. I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Gillian took her outstretched hand and allowed Kristen to lead her into the mellee.
Chapter 11:
Reed had spotted Martin’s car the moment it pulled up. His stomach was fluttering around, making him sick. He was playing yard darts, and he had not made a single shot since he realized they were here. He let his eyes roam the campground, looking for Cindy. She was nowhere to be seen. He handed his darts off and walked toward Martin and his group. His eyes rested on Gillian, she looked radiant. The wind had blown a lovely pink into her cheeks and her hair looked fresh and clean in the ponytail.
Kristen had a hold on her hand and was almost dragging her toward him. “Daddy! Dad! This is Gillian, she’s Martin’s date.” She was yelling and Gillian looked afraid and embarrassed. “Kris, shhh, honey. Maybe Gillian doesn’t want you to yell that to everyone.” “Oh, sorry!” She looked apologetically back at Gillian, but Gillian’s eyes were already on Reed. He was wearing jean shorts, a polo shirt and tennis shoes. It was a far cry from his police uniform, and he looked devastatingly handsome in the way only men can. “Hi.” Gillian glanced up at him, feeling almost dizzy with joy at seeing him. “Hi.”
Kristen was standing at his side, holding his hand now and looking at Martin. “If this one gets any bigger I’m gonna have to have her carry me!” He bent over, panting as if Megan weighed a ton, “Whew!” Megan hit him playfully, “I’m not heavy, you’re a wimp!” “Megan,” Reed warned, “be nice, no name calling, remember?” She looked properly chastised and then grabbed Kristen by the hand, dragging her off toward the beach. “No swimming without me or Mom!” Reed yelled after them.
“So, did he scare you to death with his driving?” Reed asked, winking at Martin. “No, actually his driving was exceptional.” Martin beamed and gave Gillian a thumbs-up, he rubbed his stomach, “Hey, are we eating soon? I’m starving!” Reed glanced back at the barbeque pit, “Check with them, they’ve been promising it would be ready for an hour now.” “I’ll be right back.” Martin gave Gillian an encouraging look and headed toward the food, leaving Reed alone.
They looked at each other briefly and each glanced away, feeling odd. “You want to meet some of the guys? I’m sure they’ve all checked you out by now.” Gillian giggled self-consciously, “Sure, why not?” Reed took a light grip on her elbow and began leading her toward a group of guys near the baseball diamond. His hand was warm, creating goose bumps on her arms. She was trying in vain to concentrate on meeting these other guys, but really all she wanted was to turn into his arms and crush herself to him.
Half an hour later she was sitting at a picnic table with Martin and Reed and two other cops named Critter and PeeWee. Critter had been flirting with her non-stop since their introduction, and Gillian was not sure how she would have kept him at bay without Reed and Martin. They were drinking beers and playing poker. Gillian was an expert at this, thanks to Doug. They were having such a good time that she had almost forgotten these men were virtually strangers. Her bare legs were resting warmly against Reed’s under the picnic table, both of them pretending it didn’t matter.
“Shit!” Marty flung his cards down on the table, “I really stink at this game. I’m going to find my girls.” He stood up and stretched, Gillian watching him the whole time, “When you start to lose, come and find me.” She smiled at him and his heart jumped a little, “Okay, I promise I will.” Patty, the wife of one of the hundreds of men Gillian had just met, plopped into Martin’s spot, “I’m in.” “Awww Lordy!” moaned PeeWee, “Patty’s gonna rob us all blind.” “C’mon PeeWee, you know you love it! Maybe the women can kick some ass for a change!” She took a swig of beer and winked at Gillian, “Let’s show ‘em how it’s done.” Gillian thought she had never met a nicer bunch of people.
Chapter 12:
Cindy was sitting on the beach, watching the girls playing in the surf. She was feeling depressed and pitiful. She knew it was ridiculous. Her husband, her attractive, successful husband was only a few feet away from her. She had two beautiful children, strong and healthy and everything a mother could want. Still, her heart was longing for something else. She couldn’t put her finger on it; truthfully, she didn’t even want to admit she was unhappy. It felt wrong to be miserable when her life was so blessed compared to some. “Only one more day.” She mumbled to herself, “One more day ‘til Tina and I can get away from here for a while.”
She knew their bank account couldn’t really accommodate her little vacation, but she just didn’t give a shit right now. Two weeks in Mexico in her favorite spa with her best friend was just what she needed to relax. Tina had to come all the way from New York. Cindy didn’t want to think about that either. Tina was divorced, no children, living on her own in a penthouse. She claimed that she longed for Cindy’s life, but Cindy knew better. Tina loved being single, and she adored the fast life. Two weeks of relative peace and quiet made her almost stir crazy, but Cindy had promised they would hike, and take tours and shop and go site seeing so that her need to move would be satisfied.
Cindy wasn’t sure what it was she expected to come away with. Maybe a new sense of her self. A memory of what she had been before she was “wife” and “mother”. A piece of the dreams she had abandoned to become “Mrs. Mitchell”. She felt her eyes sting with tears and lowered her head to her knees. She wondered briefly if she was entering menopause. It seemed such a bitter pill to swallow, she was still a young woman after all. She felt an arm around her shoulders and looked up into Marty’s concerned face. She gave a somewhat dismal smile and her features contorted as she felt her tears spilling over.
“Hey, what is it?” Marty put down the beer he had been holding and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Do you want to talk about it, hon?” She shook her head and proceeded to cry on him for a few more minutes. When the tears subsided she was left with an embarrassed emptiness. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away watching the girls.” She lied. “They are growing up so fast.” Martin looked at her, confused. “Is that what this is all about? It’s not trouble with you and Reed is it?” “No, not at all. Things are fine with us. I’m just going away for a few days and I was thinking how much I will miss the girls even though I need a break from them.” Marty remained unconvinced, but smiled as though he believed her. “Reed will take good care of them. You know that right?” “Of course he will…he’s a good father. I know he will always be there for them.”
Kristen ran up to them and plopped down on a blanket, scattering sand all over as she settled herself and reached for some chips. “Mom? While you’re gone can we stay up a little later? I mean, Dad will be lonely if we both go to bed so early.” She munched the chip thoughtfully and eyed her mother. Cindy wiped the last of her tears away and pretended to consider it, “Well, I guess if your dad is in charge, you will need to ask his permission to stay up late.” Cindy shot a quick smile at Marty, “Marty, will you make sure to keep an eye on my girls while I’m gone? Make sure their dad is feeding them and bathing them at least once a week?” Kristen giggled and grabbed another chip from the bag, “Mom! Dad always feeds us! He knows what to do.”
Cindy hugged her soggy daughter tightly, “Boy am I gonna miss you Peanuthead!” Kristen allowed herself to be hugged briefly and then made a dash back to the water. “I hope Reed hasn’t lost all of my vacation money,” Cindy joked, glancing over her shoulder and seeing Reed still at the game table. “Who’s that looker sitting next to him?” Martin glanced back, already knowing who she was talking about. “That’s my date.” Cindy shot him a glance, “Wow! She’s better than the ones you usually pick!” “Thanks so much, it means a lot to know you have such a high opinion of me.” Cindy elbowed him playfully and looked back at her husband.
It only took a moment for her to notice the way their bare legs were touching beneath the table. From hip to ankle they were touching, and although they were not even looking at each other, Cindy knew Reed well enough to know this was more than an idle card game. “Where did you meet her?” She asked Martin, trying to sound disinterested. “Actually, Reed and I were at an accident scene…he met her there and I didn’t meet her until we ran into her a few days later…by accident again.” Marty added, feeling lame. “I thought she was really sweet and nice looking so I took a chance and asked her to come with me today. She agreed and here we are. I was losing so much money, though. I had to get out of there for a bit.”
Cindy looked back again, Reed had turned sideways so that he was straddling the bench and facing her. He put his hand on her shoulder and asked her a question. The girl turned to him and smiled, practically blushing at his touch and nodded. Reed stood and moved away, presumably to get them something to drink. “Will you watch the girls for a while Marty?” She stood, dusting off her bottom. “I need to speak to my husband.” “Sure thing,” Martin knew what was going on, “Will you bring me back a beer?” “Yeah…” Cindy muttered distractedly as she followed her husband.
Chapter 13:
“So who’s the little flirt you’re sitting with?” She asked Reed as she came up next to him. He turned quickly to her, looking slightly embarrassed, “What?” Cindy motioned to the table with her head, “The baby sitting next to you? Who is she?” “She’s Marty’s date.” Reed answered with ease. “She’s a damn good poker player.” “Is she? Isn’t it illegal for someone her age to gamble?” Reed looked hard at her, trying to decide if she was playing or if she was really pissed off at him. “What are you getting at?” “Nothing,” Cindy shrugged and grabbed a couple of beers from the cooler, “Why don’t you come spend some time with your girls and your wife, Playboy?”
She turned and sauntered angrily toward the beach. Reed watched her for a moment and then looked toward Gillian. She looked like she was doing okay for the moment. He didn’t want to piss Cindy off anymore than he already had, but it seemed wrong to leave Gillian there alone. He went up to the table, uncertain how to proceed, and then he noticed Martin on the beach with Cindy.
“Do you want to come down to the beach for a bit?” He asked her, “Marty and my wife are down there with the girls.” “Sure,” she said brightly, standing up and picking up her few dollars in winnings, “Thanks for the game!” Everyone bid her farewell and she followed Reed to the beach, feeling an unseen wedge between them all of a sudden. She sat down on the far side of Marty, as close as their relationship allowed and reached across him to Reed’s wife. “I’m Gillian, you must be Cindy. Martin has told me so much about you.” Cindy looked miffed at her presence, but extended her hand and shook it warmly.
Martin put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her lightly, relieved that she had read the situation correctly. Reed was down near the water watching the girls who were now screaming for him to come in with them. Everyone watched him for a moment and then Cindy returned her attention to Gillian, “What do you do, for a living?” “I am actually starting a new job on Monday. In production with a company in town.” “Not married are you?” Cindy asked, smiling. “No, never married and no kids.” Gillian looked warmly at Martin, “At least you can understand that, can’t you?” Marty nodded, taking a long swig of his beer and feeling that this was getting dangerous.
Reed had removed his shirt and was splashing about in the waves with the girls who were screaming and yelling and throwing water on him. “Do you want to swim?” Gillian asked Marty. He looked unsure, but realized if he said he didn’t feel like it then he would be left on the shore with Cindy while the two of them swam. “Sure, I need to cool off a bit.” He stood and pulled his shirt off, and Gillian admired his strong chest and shoulders. His chest was as freckled as his face, and lightly furred with blondish hair. She pulled off her shorts and undid her shirt as Marty ran down to the shore and directly into the water. The girls attacked him, screaming in joy.
Gillian turned to Cindy, “Are you joining us?” Cindy shook her head. “They all know what I look like in a bathing suit.” Gillian raised her eyebrows, “Oh, okay.” She turned and moved down to the water, walking normally and trying to pretend that Cindy wasn’t staring holes into her back. The water was chilly, but not freezing and she waded in with some confidence.
Reed could not take his eyes off her. He made sure to stare covertly, but his eyes devoured her sturdy legs, shapely hips, small waist and perfectly formed breasts. He was sure he would not be able to leave the water for about an hour for fear of scaring his small daughters.