Work Text:
San Diego, California 5:00 PM
Anne took her feet off the dash as Anna Maria slowly turned the moving truck into the Arcadia neighborhood. In somewhere suburbs of San Diego there was a call for them. They passed cookie cutter houses, perfectly trimmed lawns, and white mailboxes. A rock sat in Anne’s stomach, she suddenly missed all her clutter back home and the underlying buzz of the city.
Both of them leaned forward trying to find their little cul de sac on Redwood Circle. Anna Maria saw it first and put on her turn signal. Looking out her sideview mirror she still saw their partner Julia tagging them. Julia nodded her head at them. They couldn’t do much else to communicate, Anna Maria knew Julia would have waved out the window and honked the horn if they were actually moving into a house, but they had the HOA following them as their other helpers. Parking the truck she rubbed her face. Anne elbowed her side and gave her a kiss on the cheek whispering a sweet nothing. Hopping out the neighbors and Julia already got the back door lifted and were going into the house before them. Julia was trying to lead the HOA but it seems like they didn’t care too much. She was all excited to wear her denim overalls and hat to look the part too, Anna Maria remembered.
Anne pulled lightly on the side of her partner’s blouse, “Hey, you’re giving everyone a sneer.”
“They’re marching in like they own the place.”
Anne giggled, “Did you want to see the house with me first, dear?”
“They’re also not listening to Julia. You know how excited she was.”
“She also asked how we were gonna pull off husband and wife,” Anne snorted.
“We might have to show the neighbors.”
“Are you flirting with me?”
Anna Maria shrugged her shoulders and schooled her expression.
Anne gave her an “uh huh,” before motioning for her to lean down a little. “Your ears are red. I know what you’re more upset about, by the way.”
“Oh, shut up, they are not.” She brushed some loose hair behind her ear and felt they were a little hot. Lowering her voice she growled at the shorter woman, “this is a field mission Anne. Take this seriously, there is a missing couple.” Her eyes shifted. “Also do you think I’d have us move into a house this hideous?”
“Oh, no, never dear, I would never offend your tastes in this manner.”
“Careful with the pet names.”
“Babe, we're literally supposed to play a honeymooning couple buying their first house.”
Anna Maria took a deep breath in and could feel her face getting hotter. She was gonna give her partner a rebuttal but stopped when she heard Julia raise her voice. A goofball looking guy, with biceps the size of Anne’s head, was trying to lug the boxes labeled fragile. Julia was telling him that she’s got those and to not touch them. He brushed her off, frantically, and they watched as he tripped over something in the grass and the sound of glass shattering echoed around the cul de sac. Anna Maria pinched the bridge of her nose as Anne cringed.
Julia sighed and mumbled into her hat. She hopped off the ramp and scooped up the boxes and whispered to them about there maybe being a second set of that machine in another box.
“Don’t mind him. Big Tom means well. We’re on a tight schedule so he was trying to keep up.” A male voice came from behind the two women. Turning around they were met with a man with slicked back brown hair in a creased polo tucked into pressed pants. Not what anyone would wear for moving boxes and furniture but glad they had the right dress code picked out for Anne. They gave each other a look that must have made the man uncomfortable based on his laugh. “6:00 is the deadline for all move-ins as per our CC&Rs. Gotta get that big truck out of the way before then to match the rest of us.” He snapped his fingers and Big Tom scrambled to get another box.
“I’m James and that’s my wife Nancy. We live in the house next door.” James held out his hand.
Anna Maria looked at it for a bit too long, with a bit too much strain against curling her lip. Anne swooped in and shook his hand heartily and brought her partner into a side hug with a fake rich laugh. “Nice to meet you. This is my beautiful wife Anna and I’m Anne. We’re the Petries. You know, like the dish.” Anne gave him a big smile.
“You’re…married? Women?”
“Hey, I didn’t see it being against the rules. Oh! Don’t worry I won’t steal your wife!” Anne playfully hit James’s arm and gave quite the belly laugh for show. Anna Maria rolled her eyes and tried to hide her face. She didn’t even remember agreeing on their fake name. They tried for too long to combine their names but it would have blown their cover so she argued. (“How would they even know our names and that we’re FBI agents?” “They just would. You see how many people ask for all knowing supernatural expert agent Clay.”)
Julia saved her from further embarrassment when she whistled to get their attention. “Hey, An— uh Mrs. Petrie, where do you want your basketball hoop?”
“Just leave it out, I want to play later. Say, you could stay so I can dunk on you.”
“Woah, woah, neighbor, you can’t have that in your driveway.”
“I can’t have a basketball hoop in the driveway in the house that we paid for?”
“I know, I know, but we’re not the highest ranked planned community if it wasn’t for those handy dandy rules in the CC&Rs.” James answered. “You know how it wouldn’t be aesthetically pleasing.”
“I don’t think I do know. My wife likes to see me run around, that’s aesthetically pleasing to us.”
“Yes, well,” James coughed into his hand, “I don’t know anything about that but it wouldn’t match the rest of the driveways here and it would just be bothersome.”
“We don’t match the rest?”
Julia called out the last box and like that the neighbors fanned out. They even heard the truck start and they had to assume it was the other undercover agents.
“Ah, we moved you in just in time. Listen you can talk to the HOA president if you really want that hoop up but until then just keep it in the garage.” James gave them another smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and left.
In under a minute it looked as if they had never moved in at all and had disturbed the static quiet of the afternoon.
“Are you gonna carry me over the threshold?”
Anna Maria raised a brow, “I don't think you’d be the one doing the lifting, strawberry.” Anne’s eyes lit up but Anna Maria fidgeted before heading inside, sans bridal carrying her partner.
Careful not to shut the door too loud, not wanting anymore eyes on them, she hoped they didn’t notice Julia didn’t leave. She must have dragged the hoop into the garage and slipped inside. Anna Maria rummaged around trying to find the fragile box Big Tom dropped. The house looked absolutely spotless and sterile. She assumed most of the houses came this way but it felt odd considering the couple before them disappeared without a trace, neighbors denying any knowledge, or connection to them. So much for being neighborly.
“Maria, your box is over here,” Julia cut open the box and all that was heard was falling broken shards of glass. “We might have to use ziploc baggies for biological evidence instead.”
“Classy,” Anna Maria sighed. “It can’t be helped I suppose.”
Sawing noises came from behind a stack of boxes on the other side of the living room. The house featured high ceilings of white walls and a landing on the staircase. There had to be somewhere they missed a spot.
“This carpet is new,” Anne grunted. “Three couples in the same amount of months I bet they know what they’re doing now to clean up. Local police didn’t find anything in any of the homes. Can’t believe you asked for this case Maria, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you missed hunting for X-Files.”
“What? No. Disappearances and possibly serial murders fall under federal investigation. So far there hasn’t been anything X-File.”
“Oh, come on, the team is back together and everyone here is acting weird just like old times. You don’t think those guys out there were weird? And nervous? Professing ignorance here seems damning.”
“Julia, acting weird hardly qualifies as supernatural. But yes, they were weird.” Anna Maria tapped her chin. “The Klines could have been similar, maybe there's someone holding everyone to secrecy, blackmailing, threatening them.” She began to make her crop circles on the carpet. “These couples could have stepped out of line, fed up with something.”
“No record of instability, domestic discord, violence. Professional people as per the file.” Julia smiled down at Anna Maria, “You like chasing monsters, don’t you?”
Before Anna Maria could worm her way out of the question Anne cut in.
“Gah, they even cleaned under the carpet,” Anne huffed, tapping the pocket knife against her thigh. The other two moved towards the blonde as she looked up and walked in her own crop circles around the torn up carpet. Eventually she stopped and snapped her fingers. “Julia, can I get on your shoulders?”
Julia crouched down as Anne climbed up and with ease Julia stood back up and kept the blonde steady as she scrounged around the ceiling fan blades. Anna Maria wondered how many times before her that they did this. On the third fan blade Anne’s hand hit something with an audible wet squish. Julia pulled out an evidence bag from her overalls and passed it along. With a scrape like butter across bread a clump came away. It looked like a matted ball of dirt, hair, and blood. Oddly fresh by the looks of it and how wet it sounded.
“Maybe we’re their next practice before perfect?” Anne smirked.
“It would take someone about Julia’s size to get anything up there.”
The doorbell rang.
Anna Maria pointed a finger at Anne and lowered her voice, “We will not be a bigger talk of the town.” She finished her point by sliding her finger up and down at both of them.
“Yeah, alright, alright. Unless you really just wanted to play house.”
Anna Maria shooed them away at the same time Julia went out of sight, Anne still on her shoulders.
Opening the door, just a crack, she could feel the other two looking around the corner, a box of dishware was shoved into her arms. She knew she looked less than neighborly.
“I’m sorry again, about dropping that box, I think I saw china written on it. I don’t use much myself. I always just, uh, wash the same plate or so.” Oh Jesus. “So I hope this can help you start out.” Bachelor dishware, what do we look like?
“Oh, uh, thank you, Big Tom, my wife and I appreciate that.” My wife. “Say, is that a caduceus around your neck?”
“Oh? This?” He pulled the rest of the necklace out of his shirt. “I get that a lot, the top of it looks similar but it’s a basketball. Big Knicks fan. I should probably get a new chain.”
“Ah…how nice.”
“Are you a doctor or something?”
“Yes I am.”
Big Tom looked as if he was trying to fiddle out what to say next. She was trying to think of what job would be funny to say for Anne but she did always know how to lean into a bit.
She decided to focus on the task at hand. “It was so nice of the Klines to leave the house so move-in ready for us. Did you hear what happened to them or what might have happened? I can’t imagine anything horrible happening here.”
Big Tom’s goofy smile faltered. “Well, uh, yeah it was. Uh, I’ll leave you two gals to, um, to it.” He politely sped off back across the street without looking back but did look side to side. James and Nancy did live next door to them.
She clicked the door shut with a kiss of her heel.
“Can we get to it and make that honeymoon video,” Anne had found the camera they brought.
“Honey, put that thing down.”
“Aren’t you guys only supposed to act married in front of the neighborhood?”
Anna Maria was surprised to see the blonde get a bit red in the face and falter with the camera. “Well, uh, I guess. Anyway we can get on getting to know the neighbors tomorrow.”
They looked around at all the boxes and mismatched furniture. Which ones were the props and their actual travel bags? The one mattress was leaning against the stairs.
Anna Maria leaned over and gave Anne a kiss on the cheek. Then on her ear. “You and Jules can put that bed together. I want a bath.”
Anna Maria said they were returning the dishes back to Tom. They can take a small walk around the houses next door and try to talk to Tom again. Anne couldn’t get her to say it was because she hated the dishes. Leaving Julia to take care of the gooey, bloody, sample at the lab they went off on their separate missions. Anna Maria felt a little bad for giving Julia the mission with heavy traffic while her hardest decision was trying to help Anne pick out her color of slacks. And getting out of their warm bed. Stepping outside they shared a look finding James out on Tom’s front steps with the hose on blast.
He wasn’t really getting any water on the landscaping.
“Hi, James! Good morning.” Anne cheered, scaring James. In turn they got sprayed with water. Spitting out water Anne kept her smile throughout.
“Ah, good morning! How was your first night in Arcadia?”
Anne grabbed and hung off Anna Maria’s arm, as much as she could while her partner was holding the box of dishes, “It felt just like our honeymoon. We spooned up like cats, didn’t we?”
“That’s right shortstack.”
Anne pushed on. “Is Tom about? We wanted to return these dishes he gave us, I don’t think we’ll be needing them.”
James was still spraying a spot on the steps. The women shared another look at the dissolving of some pinkish water.
He must’ve spotted it too. “His nieces loved using chalk. He spoiled them but again those CC&Rs.” Scratching his nose he waved that off. “Oh no, though, he called Nancy and I this morning saying he had to leave urgently for work, so he needed a house sitter.”
“Aw, that’s too bad, you wanted to watch the Knicks and Pacers game with him didn’t you, dear? What kind of business is he on I don’t know if I caught what his job was?” Anna Maria went to lean down to place the dishes on the steps. “Guess we’ll just leave these out here.”
“No!” Everyone paused. “No, uh, you can’t leave those out here. I’ll take them in for you.” James laughed off his reaction and took the box away from Anna Maria. She crossed her arms tight into her cardigan. “Hey, would you two like to come over for dinner tonight? Around 7?”
The silence went on for way too long. In one look Anne said we don’t even know what they’re having. Ugh, it better not all be seafood. Is it rude to ask? But we should. Anna Maria’s look told her I think it’s rude? We should. Anne blinked, ignore your face? Anna Maria raised her eyebrows, ignore my face and behave. “We would love to. Say, while we got you, could you point me to where the HOA president is, I’d really like to get back to playing some ball.”
James breathed in deeply. “Mr.Gogolak lives right down there. Just don’t get your hopes up but who knows.”
Anne slid an arm around her partner. “Thanks. See you and Nancy at 7.”
Mr.Gogolak’s house was full of doodads and trinkets. Handmade wooden items and books on Tibetan myths, history, and culture. Masks looked down on them as they sat on the too stiff leather couch. Incense was burning next to a St. Peter candle. Mr. Gogolak had taken the, quite frankly, comically large leather bound CC&Rs and was flipping through it. Allegedly he got to the basketball hoop rule and supposedly it was not allowed. He closed the book and put it back on its stand where it had its own wooden shelf near the window. It gave Anne a gut feeling to that similar witches gathering from the other year.
She didn’t think he was going to let her go through it. She wondered if any of the others had ever gone through it. By the way the rules were spoken about it was either impressed into them or they all had a creepy dedicated corner to it. Noted, for dinner at the neighbors.
“Are you sure there can’t be an exception?”
“I’m sorry Mrs. Petrie but if we let a basketball hoop go up then it just spirals from there. A hoop goes to pink flamingos to RVs and boats.”
“And we wouldn’t want that,” Anne mumbled. Anna Maria patted the blonde’s thigh.
Anne sunk herself further into Anna Maria. “I have to say I just love the decor in here. Do you travel?”
“I travel to Nepal and Tibet about twice a year, for work. I work for Pier 9 imports. If you need any wooden furniture just let me know.”
As the two agents made to leave Mr. Gogolak added on. “But of course no outdoor furniture. Aesthetically speaking.”
As per Anna Maria’s pushing they arrived for dinner right at 7. Anna Maria kept straightening out Anne’s sweater vest and tie the walk over and was adamant her dress had no wrinkles every time the blonde tried to fuss back. Anne thought about how they don’t get to dress up very often and it didn’t help that James looked them up and down before inviting them in. Probably too much for a weekday dinner.
Anne thought their house was normal but had very minimal decor. No creepy CC&R corner. Sitting down Nancy placed a plate of salmon in front of each of them. Anna Maria tapped her foot with her pumps and gave her a tight smile. Eat it. Eat your vegetables too. Anne huffed out her nose and began cutting into the filet.
“So where did you two meet?” Nancy brought Anne’s attention away from her thoughts.
Oh, she wanted to answer this question. “Actually, funny thing, I met Anna at a UFO convention.” Anna Maria dropped her silverware. “I don’t really believe in that type of stuff, but wanted to check it out. Oh but my darling here she’s just a big believer.” Anne nudged Anna Maria’s elbow as she smirked.
“Really? I wouldn’t have taken you guys to be into that stuff?”
“Oh yeah, she’s into the magnetic bracelets, the abduction stories, we’ve been to sites, oh all around.” Anne whispered behind her hand, “she’s a real sucker.”
“You even got a tattoo of a ufo, sweetie.”
Anna Maria choked on her wine.
“We’re still figuring out how we want my little green men one to look. Married, of course, after us.”
James and Nancy got a kick out of that. James laughing over his wine glass asked Anna Maria again if it was all true.
“You. bet.” Anna Maria bit out.
Anne barely took a bite of her salmon. “Oh by the way we called around and no one knows where Tom went?” James and Nancy froze. “Just, it’s weird, that he would lie to you right? I heard he had a pet and we were thinking about getting one and how that works with the CC&Rs.”
Nancy tried to form words while James laughed it off. “I guess you never know who you’re living next to.”
Nancy cut off her husband. “I can't believe I forgot! It’s past Scruffy’s walk time.” Nancy picked up her plate and made to get out of the situation.
“Would you like some company?” Anna Maria stopped her.
“Oh!” Nancy exchanged a look with her husband who nodded his ascent. “Sure.”
“Wife, why don’t you help clean up and I’ll see you later, hm?” Anna Maria settled her hand on the blonde’s shoulder and rubbed small circles. Big blue eyes batted back at her.
“Kiss goodbye?”
“Alright, strawberry.” Anna Maria only went for a quick peck but felt Anne bite down on her lower lip. Slipping a hand up to cup the side of Anna Maria’s face Anne parted her partner’s lips with her tongue and deepened the kiss. Anna Maria repressed a shiver from the chill of their prop wedding rings. She only remembered where she was when she needed to break for air.
Anne looked up with smudged lipstick and dilated pupils and James and Nancy looked at them wide-eyed and tight lipped.
Anna Maria looked at her neighbors and back down at Anne then back at her neighbors. Standing up straight she schooled her expression and fussed with her hair and clothes. Pulling out a hand mirror she checked her lipstick for any smearing as she pulled away from the group. The little dog Scruffy followed at her heels and yipped at her as she took the leash off the hook. Clipping it on the little creature she called for Nancy as she stepped out of the door and didn’t look back.
Nancy quickly put her plate down in confusion and ran out after the agent. Muttering all the while about how that’s not even her dog and after that scene.
Anne turned back to James with a slack jawed smile. “What a woman.”
Anna Maria tucked her arms around her. The sunset brought a chill to the air she didn’t think to plan for. The second time going by Tom’s house she hoped Nancy might start a conversation but to no avail.
“Do you like it here?”
Another wide eyed stare from her neighbor. “Yeah, we’ve been here since day one. Lots of us have.”
“I don't see a lot of kids around.”
“It’s hard to bring kids around.”
“Yeah it must if you have to wash away chalk.”
Nancy swallowed. Conversation fell off again. She hoped Anne was doing better than her.
In a split second Scruffy took off barking. Despite his 10 pound frame he broke Nancy’s grip on the leash and skidded on the sidewalk barking into the storm drain. Chasing after him they just missed the leash before it disappeared with Scruffy as he ran down the drain.
“Scruffy! Scruffy! Oh please come back. What are you doing?” Nancy tapped the asphalt.
Anna Maria tucked her dress under her haunches as she squatted down besides Nancy. She pulled out her flashlight and aimed it down the drain. Nancy furrowed her brows at her but Anna Maria brushed it off. Undercover or not she felt naked without it, could have been all the nighttime cases the X-Files brought her. The light showed dirt, muddy puddles, and a sheen reflecting off the light. Blocking Nancy’s view Anna Maria leaned over further and caught the word Knicks off a gold chain.
The light must’ve been what did it for the dog because before Anna Maria could grab the chain Scruffy ran back out. Pushing past Anna Maria he jumped into Nancy’s arms. Disgusted at getting mud across her cheek she made to glare at the mutt but Nancy gasped in horror. The dog had a similar red and muddy clump to the one they found on the ceiling fan. The poor thing was whimpering and shaking, she was hoping more out of fear than pain. Using her rag she wiped it off the dog. Wrapping it up, she tucked it into her pocket. She helped Nancy to her feet and walked them back—quickly. Opening the door the other two looked relieved at ending the night. Anna Maria thought they knew more than they were letting on but she let them play on it being nerves about Scruffy. They said their awkward goodnights and closed the door themselves.
“Not one of your worst dinners.” Anne swung their hands together on their little walk across the street.
“I’m not bad at dinners.” Anna Maria’s furrowed brow betrayed her concern. “And why did you kiss me like that in front of them?”
“Cause…” Anne twirled some of her hair with a lopsided smile. Anna Maria raised her brows at her. They made it to their front stoop and Anna Maria was trying to fiddle with the keys one handed when she felt Anne’s other hand crawl up her back. On tippy toes Anne whispered the rest of her thought. “Cause if you’re gonna keep calling me wife then I will need you to throw me down on the bed and let everyone know.”
“Jesus, Anne,” Anna Maria shoved Anne inside and locked the door. Thinking better of it Anna Maria moved them away from the windows and into the depths of the living room, still barricaded with stacks of boxes and FBI equipment. “Have you been…?”
“All day.”
“All day.” Anna Maria licked her lips.
Julia slammed the car door and muttered some curses under her breath. She ran a hand through her hair, or tried to anyway, it got caught in a knot some way down. Groaning, she kicked the tire out of frustration. She didn’t even care if the neighbors caught sight of her. Granted she was only in her longcoat and work clothes and not the overalls from the previous day. Anne told her that her height and hair make her memorable. Not in a bad way though, she reassured. The mud on her, the soreness in her arms and back, the mud torn coat. Dirt coated her nails. She pouted, she just painted them too. She got in front of the car and it was covered in mud, trash, and grime. The grill was starting to fall off a bit. The mirror on the right might fall off if that door opens again. She’ll have to ask if beater cars were against the rules. She blew a bang out of her face and trudged up to the door. If she dropped the keys she was shooting the door handle off.
She kicked the door closed and slumped against a stack of heavy boxes. “Anne, do we have any of the good…”
“Julia!”
Julia lowered her voice and looked around. “My bad! Do we have neighbors over?”
Anne and Anna Maria separated like they touched a hot pan. Anna Maria straightened her dress out and hoped she put her hair back together. How did one of her earrings get on the floor? Anne stood there with cowlicks in her undone hair and her shirt and sweater vest untucked and crumpled. Her belt was thrown on the couch. Sharing a look there was no fixing the lipstick smeared over their faces.
“N-no neighbors.” Anne squeaked out.
Julia gave a sigh of relief. “Oh I thought I blew our cover for a second.” She got up and made over to them, albeit sluggishly.
“Wait what the hell happened to you?” Anne ran up to the taller woman and patted her down. “You didn’t give us a call at all today.”
“Well I had everything under control until the drive home. Didn’t have anything to say I couldn’t do in person.” Julia popped her neck. “Although I could’ve said I was heading back.”
“Yes, you could have.” Anne didn’t find any alarming injuries, the hiss Anna Maria made at a bruise didn’t make her feel any better, but she took her hands away. She didn’t leave Julia’s space.
They looked at Julia expectantly. She looked confused until a light went off upstairs. “Oh!” She gestured to herself “How did this happen?”
“Yes!”
Julia threw her arms up and they hit her coat with a thud. “I don’t know. I was driving and I heard something bump around under the car. It was dusk so it wasn’t like it was too dark to see something until it was too late. Sure, I had the radio up a little loud, you know how I get it, but I swear there was nothing in front of me. Then another, and another bump. I turned the radio down and put both hands on the wheel.”
Julia massaged her forehead and groaned. Anne pushed her towards the couch. “Before I tell you the next bit I want you to know that I know what I saw.”
The other two nod their heads.
“After the third bump things went silent for a moment until a big muddy hand, paw, thing smacked against the passenger window. That’s where I had the sample sitting. No one was on the road so I swerved to the side but the creature climbed out from under the car and hung onto the side. For some reason I couldn’t really make out the shape past sludge and mud but it had crevices I assumed was meant to be it’s face.”
“Well I thought break checking it would send it flying but it only hung on tighter and gave it time to punch the window open. I grabbed my gun in time and shot at its arm to no effect. Oh, we’ll have an invoice for three bullet holes in the upholstery.”
Anna Maria sighed.
“It grabbed the sample and I jumped out after it. I tried grappling with the thing but it threw me off and slipped under the ground. That was,” Julia blew out a breath and scrunched her face up, “about twenty minutes ago, yeah.”
Anna Maria tapped her foot and bit her thumbnail, drinking in the story. Anne was mentally flipping through stories mumbling under her breath. Snapping the blonde brought the room to her attention.
“That’s gotta be what has the neighbors on edge.”
“Could be someone in a suit that’s trying to sabotage our investigation,” Anna Maria countered. “What did the lab say about the sample?”
“Maria you won’t believe it but they said it was trash and blood and gasoline.”
“Trash?”
“I said the same thing but I guess this whole place is built on a landfill. So I was told.”
“Jules, you're sleeping with a heat pack tonight, okay. And not alone.”
“It’s not even that bad. I don’t think?” Julia stood up and popped her back. “But you could bring me dinner.”
“Go upstairs and whine about it,” Anne stuck her tongue out over her shoulder but headed to the kitchen regardless.
Anna Maria blocked Julia from leaving the living room. She gripped the kerchief in her pocket. “That thing came after the sample.”
“Why are we whispering?”
Anna Maria went around the taller woman and yanked the blinds up. Pulling the window all the way up she took a step back and wadded the bloody clump into a ball. Twisting her body with the throw the kerchief flew out the house and rolled off the driveway with a thick thud. She put the window back and yanked the blinds back down.
“Where was that in the last game?”
“The mission before this one.”
“We told you flashlights were no good in Point Pleasant.”
“I’m gonna try and get that monster to come out today.”
“Good morning to you too, dear.”
Anne pouted. “Not my fault you don’t do late morning snuggles.”
Anna Maria shoved a mug of coffee into the blonde’s hands and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll get you to run with me one of these days.”
“Can I have a cute little running outfit like you?”
Anna Maria rolled her eyes but there was a smile tugging at her lips.
Julia popped two bagels into the toaster and grabbed a mug of coffee off the counter. “Stake out?”
“Stake out.” Anne was giddy.
“How are you going to bring it out?” Anna Maria drummed her fingers against the granite countertop.
Anne bit her lip, barely containing her smile, and ran out the door. The other two leaned against the doorway as they watched the woman kick the mail box, put the flag up, and flicked the door open. For good measure she ripped up some of the grass. She stood back and admired her work with hands on hips.
Smugly Anne closed the door and dragged a chair to the window. Anna Maria's shoulders sagged as Julia loudly scooted a chair up next to her partner.
“I’m not watching a beaten mailbox all day.”
“Well, why not?” Julia looked over her mane of hair.
Anna Maria gestured to the scene and tried to start but tossed her hands instead. “I’m going to start on our paperwork.”
“Your glasses are upstairs.”
Anna Maria ruffled the blonde’s hair. Bringing her partners together she smirked. “Ten bucks says you two fall asleep. You’ll be leaning on Julia too, I’ll add in five more dollars just for that.”
“Nuh uh,” Anne huddled in closer to Julia.
The sun was almost reaching its peak. Not moving from the window they would stretch their legs on the sill or touch their toes without losing sight of the mailbox. Only one or two people had gone out but they either quickly turned back inside or hurried into cars. Sometimes they’d have to gently shove each other out of stupor bordering on sleep.
Eventually Anne’s foot tapping didn’t do her any good.
“Julia. Jules. I need you to watch the window.”
“You can’t leave.”
“Juju let go of my sleeve I’ve been holding it in for an hour.”
“No, cause I gotta go too.”
“We both can’t leave the window.”
Julia gripped Anne’s sleeve harder and gave her big eyes.
“I’ll be right back, Juj.”
“Was this part of Maria’s bet,” Julia tapped her foot rapidly against the thick carpet. A moment, another one, another…
“Nothing’s happened.” Julia looked side to side. She thought Anna Maria was working on their report in the kitchen. She thinks? She tip-toed upstairs and bet she could be back with the mail box still skewed.
Skipping every other step down the stairs Julia found Anne with her face pressed up against the window. The blonde whipped her head around so fast bangs hit her face.
“Julia,” Anne moaned, “what happened?” She sighed, “You weren’t gone for long were you?”
“She wasn’t,” Anna Maria replied from the kitchen island.
Anne motioned for Julia to look out on the driveway. Tapping her finger against the glass she made sure to be loud enough for Anna Maria to hear. “I don’t even know how someone could do that in two minutes. The mail box is fixed and the grass is…replanted somehow. That’s wigging me out.”
“The flag is still up.”
Anne’s eyes went wide. She double checked and it still was. Going out the door she didn’t see a trace of anyone or anything around. Putting the flag down she slowly opened the mailbox. A note sat folded. Be like the others by nightfall.
Anna Maria tilted her head to the side. “Babe I don’t think you’re lifting it from the best spot.”
Julia had a hold on the hoop’s backboard and Anne was trying to lift the other side. Waiting around until the sun had fully set they planned to take out the basketball hoop since the neighbors seemed particularly sensitive to it.
Anne dropped it and decided pushing it was probably better, so much for the surprise. The plastic bottom scraped across the flat garage floor and the cement of the driveway. After unfolding it they looked around for any onlookers. The only thing they could hear were the crickets.
“Are you sure you’re ready for someone in Celtics shirt to beat you?”Julia pulled on the beaten cotton. “It’ll be pretty embarrassing.”
Anne tipped her head to her girlfriend. Anna Maria passed Anne the ball with a glint in her eyes. She gave her a wink before turning to her task at hand. Dribbling the ball she taunted, “I think I’ll run circles around you.”
“Did you two even stretch?”
Julia popped her knuckles. “She’s not that old?”
Anna Maria mimicked a ref whistle.
Anne began to dribble and weave around Julia. She jumped up for a shot and Julia easily stole the ball mid arc and teased Anne with the ball before going around the blonde and landed a shot without the ball even touching the rim.
Anna Maria barked out a laugh and quickly covered it up with a cough.
“Who are you cheering for,” Anne moaned.
“Winners,” Julia flexed.
Hiking up her shorts Anne got low and bounced the ball.
Gritting her teeth she thought she might tie Julia’s legs and sweep across for a layup. That might be the closest to dunking she could get. One look back she gave her partner a wink before running across the driveway.
Before she got Julia dizzy a shout rang out across the quiet neighborhood. “Stop! Stop, are you crazy!”
James came running out of the side yard with his hands up. Out of breath he tried taking the basketball out of Anne’s hands. Anne took steps back as he tried to move forward taking him in slow circles around their court.
“You have to be on my team but I think we can fit you in. See you guys needed some game here.”
“No! No—wait, are you the woman that helped them move in?”
All three woman froze.
“Is three a crowd around here?” Julia looked between them all. Anna Maria pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.
James blinked but seeing the basketball again brought back his energy. “You need to put that up now.”
“You left the note.” Anne smiled.
“Note?”
“What’s gonna happen if we don’t? Some muddy beast will come after us?” Anne put on that fake laugh she’s been getting good at since starting the case.
Something rumbled under their feet. James frantically looked around, shaking, practically breaking out into a cold sweat.
“I warned you,” grimly James ran back over to his house.
Another rumble. The shrubs and trees rocked and the birds left the property.
Anne swallowed and gently rolled the ball back into the garage. Anna Maria reached instinctively for her gun and muttered to herself at its absence.
Julia pointed downwards and mouthed its in the ground. They nodded.
A scream ripped through the air.
“Nancy! Get inside!”
“We didn’t do anything wrong! They did!”
Anne and Julia took off across the side yard. Their lamppost was suddenly broken and blown out leaving only the warm light of the garage and harsh light of the moon to see the mushy heap moving away. Some humorous part of Anne had to say it kind of looked and walked like Bigfoot. Then again they were working with about the same lighting.
“That’s it! That’s it!” Julia hit Anne’s shoulder before diving after it.
Hitting the dirt Julia pounded and pulled on the grass but it had slipped away. Anne checked on Nancy and James, shaken up but not attacked, before standing by her partner. What little light there was showed Julia holding a piece of the yard up like the creature had its own doggy door to its underground home.
“It’s got a system.”
“Did you hear how scared they were at a light going out?”
“Did it walk like Bigfoot to you?”
“It doesn’t fight like him.”
Somewhere down the street by Mr. Gogolak’s a tree shook.
Anne crouched down to avoid any dropping eaves. “If it’s underground I bet you our last homeowners are too. Maybe they did something more wrong than us.”
“We can’t get a team out here without losing cover.”
Anne slid her tongue across her teeth.
Anna Maria felt around for Anne and came upon an indent in the sheets. Still warm. And she even stayed in bed for her.
“That’s good! Yeah, right there!”
Throwing off the comforter Anna Maria marched out the door and did her best to play along and glare instead of stopping, standing slack jawed, and scolding her partner.
“Look honey! We’ll have that nice pool in no time. Do you want to look for koi today?”
A backhoe was digging in their front yard as their neighbors watched from the street in a spectrum of horror, confusion, and aesthetic judgement.
No wonder Anne kept kissing her back to sleep.
“Stand by me, I wouldn’t want your silk jammies to get dirty.”
Anna Maria raised her brows and crossed her arms tighter. Anne gave her a dimpled smile before making kissy noises.
“Y-you can’t put a pool in your front yard!” Anne couldn’t remember if they were introduced but she’s seen her come out of the house next to Big Tom’s.
“Oh, I made sure to check the CC&Rs. I know I can’t have a swimming pool in my front yard, but a reflecting pool,” Anne tapped the rule book. “Trust me, my honey and I won’t be the only ones enjoying this.”
The woman only shook her head and walked off slow. James patted her back as she continued the zombie walk back to her home. He gave the two of them a grave look but didn’t say anything more to them. Mr. Gogolak weaved through the crowd without an obstacle getting in his way. He said something to James that made the other man clench his jaw.
“Let me know what you want for lunch!” Anne swept up Anna Maria inside as she waved off the contractor.
“You’re crazy.”
“I thought you were into that.”
Anna Maria tapped her slippered foot.
“Right. I’m digging up our yard to see if the Klines are there since the monster has underground tunnels.”
“Is that why you two were rolling around in the dirt?”
Julia gave a sheepish smile.
“You know this place was built on a land fill. The top soil isn’t good, I’m not surprised Julia could rip it up like it was nothing. With the way they cleaned this place, again, I’m not surprised if these people just thought that if they could bury the bodies deep enough the landfill would destroy all the evidence.”
“You didn’t see it! It was all big and mushy and smelly and it stomped around like Bigfoot!”
“Like Bigfoot?”
“Don’t pop your hip out! That thing almost jumped Nancy before we chased after it.”
Anna Maria looked at Julia.
“It’s true.”
“You know there’s something weird going on here.” Anne stuck her finger out.
“Weird, yes. Supernatural, no.”
“Why did you throw that clump out the window the other night? You seemed uneasy about it coming after me and the sample.”
Anna Maria furrowed her brows. “Well, I just thought—“
It was Anne’s turn to pop out her hip. “You got scared and chucked a bloody pulp out our window. Because of the monster in the neighborhood. The murderous HOA abiding monster. Who attacks people.”
“Who said I got scared?”
The other two held up their hands.
“You did seem like you believed in it, Maria.”
“No, no, that is not true, I—“
“You didn’t want the monster in the house. How could a human in a gilley suit sniff it out? You might’ve gotten a kick out of rescuing this pretty little damsel in distress.”
“Shut up,” Anna Maria mumbled. “And it isn’t a trash monster that lives underground that somehow knows the CC&Rs of this place.”
“That murders.”
“That murders, dear.”
Peeking out of the window intermittently throughout the day the agents watched for any untoward behavior or supernatural activity. Eventually the group of neighbors trickled out but Anne was surprised at how long they stayed after they went back inside.
James, Nancy, and Mr.Gogolak were the first to pull away. Like a signal to the others they were free to do so whenever after their command.
Anne brought the contractor lunch like she promised and didn’t stay outside with him long. He had just reached under the top soil where underground water was flowing through. She thanked him and told him to be back tomorrow to start the foundation. With the sun still bright it would probably look a certain way seeing her dig around for bodies. At least that’s what Anna Maria told her. Anne said it was just because Anna Maria likes doing work and cuddling on the couch all day. The neighbors didn’t have to know it was for bodies, to them it would look like she likes to get down and dirty.
With nothing else to do but wait they stalled until nightfall.
“It could be a golem.”
“No, they’re too mindless for all this.”
Anna Maria crossed her legs and pushed up her glasses. “Are there trash aliens?”
Anne tossed Julia a crumpled paper ball. “Don’t rule anything out but let’s go down the list first.”
“Golems are made out of natural materials.” Julia tossed it back.
“Given tasks, but, could it know some things like you having that sample.”
“Or the HOA rules.”
“Next?”
“Golems have a core that gives it life, what else does?”
“It’s Mr. Gogolak isn’t it?” Anna Maria joined.
“A person can’t be a core.” Anne tapped her leg. “Oh, you meant as the main suspect. He did have…”
“Let’s check the hole,” Julia nodded towards the darkening sky. “A dormant core could be underground. Maybe in each yard.”
Anna Maria stood above ground and held the flashlight as her partners bounced back and forth between ideas and mud banks.
“What would a core even look like?”
Anne’s eyes lit up. “It’s usually made out of wood. It can look like many things, a crude wooden sculpture of a human, a totem pole, never bigger than a forearm.”
“Sounds like witchcraft to me.”
“Oh, now, Maria, I thought I’ve told you about these nuances before.”
Anna Maria smirked.
Julia started to lift herself out of the mud hole by the backhoe in the middle of the conversation. Examining the forked teeth of the digger she called for the light to be on her. Faded paint exposed a wooden windmill with Klines written in cursive across its body. Julia freed the cheap decoration out of the backhoe and muck.
Anne scrambled out of the hole and made her flip the windmill over.
“Pier 9 imports.”
“That mean anything to you guys?”
Anne didn’t give Julia an answer. She took the kitschy decor and ran off down the street towards Mr. Gogolak’s.
“She shouldn’t go barging in there alone.” Anna Maria made to chase after her partner but something snagged her ankle. She managed to hold onto Julia before falling in the muddy water.
Something was trying to pull her down.
Julia wrapped her arms around her partner and pulled hard and up.
“I don’t want to alarm you, but, that’s the creature.”
“I don't even believe in it.”
The flashlight had thumped to the ground but the beams spliced through the finely cut grass blades showed Julia the creature was forming into its mature shape from the mud up. It must not have reached its full strength but by the way Anna Maria was digging her nails into her arms it was growing stronger. Anna Maria bit back a scream. Julia took a deep breath in and wrested her partner free.
“I think it twisted my ankle.” Anna Maria took a step towards the house. “Or broke it dammit.”
“I’m sorry about this.” Julia scooped up Anna Maria and ran into the house. She could feel the creature scramble after them.
Kicking a stack of boxes to slow it down, she had to believe it would inevitably get through the door, she moved up the stairs. Julia propped Anna Maria against the stair railing while knocking over more boxes, whatever she could. Quickly catching up with her fellow agent she threw an arm around her shoulder and picked up the pace.
Putting the agent on the bed she propped her leg up on a box. Anna Maria shooed her away to barricade the door. Julia stacked boxes, moved an end table, and dragged the empty dresser over and pressed them up against the door. In the short silence came a crash from below. It was searching for them.
“What stops something like that,” Anna Maria leaned back on the bed and pulled her gun out of the nightstand.
Julia squared her feet with her shoulders. She held out her hand and Anna Maria knocked her fist against her partners.
“Not much but us.”
“It’s been a minute, you and me.”
Anne was looking up and down each tinkered shelf, over the walls, looking for the core. Mr. Gogolak sat, handcuffed, on his couch, calm as ever. It only pissed her off more.
“How are you going to prove I killed those people? Or terrorized this community?”
She continued to ignore him.
“You say I am controlling some monster,” he laughed. “You won’t even get me in a court with that.”
Anne was scanning the covers of books. She thought she noticed too many similar books. Looking over her shoulder at him she found that he didn’t even squirm under her gaze.
“I think you never had control.”
His smile twitched.
It was right in front of them the whole time. Right next to where she had thrown the broken windmill on the coffee table. A wooden object no larger than the bottom half of a wooden dining chair, in a similar shape and groove too, with a carved head on top with sculpted grooves to resemble the placement of eyes, nose, and a mouth.
“You must’ve have fallen into a fascination with tulpas on your journeys to Nepal and Tibet. You brought one back here, it grew to represent your obsession with these community rules. The thing about it is you can’t call it back. Or to stop it from ever killing violators.” Anne picked up the tulpa. “These things have a funny kickback, though, you don’t get to know how it interprets your thoughts. How it will manifest itself.”
“My lawyers will have a field day with you.”
Anne’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Let’s have you over at mine. We have a trip to make.”
Walking down the street blinds and curtains closed shut. Each window that turned away with a curt twirl made her step faster towards her house. James and Nancy were standing at the end of their driveway watching as she dragged their handcuffed HOA president up the yard.
Anne stopped. Round muddy footprint lined the yard and the broken down door into the house. James and Nancy seemed like they were watching something in the house.
“Anne!”
“Anna!” Anne almost let go of Mr. Gogolak before dragging him over to the mailbox and chaining him there. “Anna, I’m coming!”
“Looks like we got FBI agents living next door,” Mr. Gogolak laughed behind her.
Missing each muddy footprint so as not to slip, Anne ran low, falling on the first stair and practically running on all fours the rest of the way up. She called out again and was met face to face with the creature. Only the bedroom light was on, still masking its face. Anne didn’t have her gun on her. It huffed at her before slamming her against the wall. Knocking the air out of her lungs she fell to the floor in a heap. Anne watched it roar down the stairs and out towards the front door.
A hand landed on her shoulder. “Stop mumbling my name, I’m right here.” Anne could feel Anna Maria leaning her weight on her.
Julia picked her up and patted her on the chest.
“That thing, Jules,” Anne started into a coughing fit.
“Doesn’t matter right now. Hold me and go after it,” Anna Maria put her arm around Anne’s shoulders.
Julia was going two steps at a time and got to the door first. Julia suddenly stopped herself in the doorway just as Anne and Anna Maria reached it. Crashing into her back they ducked around her to be faced with the bloody heap of Mr. Gogolak at the mail box and a pile of dirt and trash at their doorstep. The wooden core staring blankly back at them, clean, on the top. James and Nancy were gone.
All three stood there catching their breath.
“Can we sleep somewhere else tonight?” Julia grabbed Anna Maria’s other arm.
“Get me to a hospital first.”
Basement of the FBI Building, Washington D.C., 10:34 AM
Anne tapped her pencil against her forehead. Anna Maria sat across from her and Julia sat next to them at her desk. For all that they did their report wasn’t much longer than two pages. The neighbors pleaded ignorance and were not complicit in the deaths in the three couples or that of Mr. Gogolak. Their house was cleaned up and put back on the market. The community was still ranked top places to live in southern California.
No one has been murdered since that night.
No one could be implicated and the only thing they had was no longer manifest.
“Are we just done?”
“Well. We can just emphasize we stopped what needed to be stopped.” Julia snapped, “Maybe we can get extra points for how well you guys were undercover. Even going so far to act out of view. Dancing in the kitchen was such a cute touch.”
Anne hid her face behind her bangs. She felt her face get hot and could barely look at Anna Maria. Her partner was staring holes into the paperwork. Her ears were beet red.
“Lets get the disappointing looks over with,” Anna Maria closed the file.