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Tanwa leaned against the counter. Aside from a spacious blooming garden and lounge, he had a small kitchen at the back of his shop. He rarely used it. All the drinks and snacks could be easily made at the bar in the garden, where he’d spend most of his time, so why bother to visit the far room? But the kitchen was already there, stuffed with the stove and sink, and other equipment when he bought it, shelves filled with pretty porcelain plates and cups.
They could have sold all that, however, Sucha – of all people – insisted they didn’t.
“Otherwise, how will I make pancakes?” he said when Tanwa inquired about the reason for such oppression.
“Pancakes, of course. What the hell, Sucha?”
“You just wait and see.”
The next morning, when they gathered in the lounge, there was a plate with small treats waiting on the table. It still steamed slightly, fresh from the stove. Besides the plate, two glass jars were tucked – one with honey, another with some kind of berry jam. Standing by the table, Sucha smiled proudly, his eyes glistening under wavy bangs.
It was the most scrumptious breakfast Tanwa had had in years. So, the kitchen was left. The only person who really used it was Sucha. Rarely, Tanwa would go there to snatch a warm pancake or take some more glasses from the cupboard for their party. Time passed by and, as if by magic, the dusty shelves grew two sacks of flour and sugar in the corner. One day, them joined a couple of pretty raspberry jam jars that Sucha’s mum sent him. A few packs of green tea appeared on the shelf, too, perfectly filling the space between the sweet confiture and the wooden wall.
The oven was the final installment.
Even though Sucha was the only person who was able to cook, he never spoiled the gang too much. Baking required special mood and energy, he said, and thus approached the counter only once in a blue moon. However rare his cooking blessing was, Tanwa never regretted buying the oven. Those palm pies Sucha made in June were incredible.
Being occasionally treated to homemade food seemed good enough, so Tanwa didn’t bother to ask his friend to teach him how to cook or at least watch him make wonders with dough.
Now, though, when he had the prettiest man alive sleeping soundly on his sheets after making love to him at night, Tanwa regretted his previous ignorance. There were still some tea and jam on the shelves, but without solid help from his friend, Tanwa could barely make any use of the stove or, even less likely, oven.
Usually, it wouldn’t bother him. He’d just go and find some leftovers in the fridge in the garden or wait till his one-night stand woke up, and go out to eat somewhere else. But usually, his temporary partners knew their way around. Usually, they didn’t care about him in the morning, and the feeling was mutual. Usually, especially polite ones, they’d be gone by the time he was awake. It’s always been so easy.
Nothing about Trin was usual, though.
The way he looked, the way he touched, the space he’d taken in the shop and in Tanwa’s heart.
Tanwa wasn’t desperate to impress him, as if his life depended on Trin’s happiness, not at all. He just genuinely wanted to do things right – with him, because of him. To take care of his lover as best as he could.
Tanwa turned slightly to look at the small window. Warm sunrays leaked through the frame. The air outside was cool, only a few people passing by on the far side of the road. He caught a glimpse of the girl opening the nearby shop, and suddenly Tanwa knew what to do.
* * *
He closed the door and turned around. Trin stood there in the silk robe he borrowed from Tanwa, leaning against the wall. His hair was ruffled, gaze drowsy, though the smile plastered on his face shone brighter than the sun.
“If it’s gonna be my everyday morning view, then I made the best of my life”, Trin said, his voice rough from sleep.
The sudden compliment surprised Tanwa. He opened his mouth for a moment, but not a sound came out, so he just held the paper bag to his chest tighter, hoping his heartbeat wasn’t too loud, and smiled softly.
“Hello”.
“Good morning”, Trin answered and pulled him in a warm embrace, pecking his cheek.
“Do you want some tea? I’ve just gotten us fresh pastries”, Tanwa wiggled the bag in his hand.
Trin chuckled, the sound so pleasant that Tanwa needed it recorded to replay when things got bad. His smile widened as if it wasn’t already the sweetest thing in the world, and Tanwa’s heart began to ache.
“So thoughtful of you. Let’s go then”.
* * *
Trin leaned his back against the counter, watching the shop owner making their tea. Tanwa would steal a glance at him from time to time, dancing around the counter. Loose sleeves of his robe made his arms look light and soft like a butterfly’s wings. Part of his hair was tied in a short ponytail. It suited him well, this was Trin’s favourite hairstyle so far. Curtain bangs framed Tanwa’s pretty face, adorning it like the most expensive silks enveloping the most gorgeous Siamese princesses. Long dark strands reached down to his broad yet so fragile, perky shoulders. The ponytail wiggled playfully from left to right as he moved, making the man look even more lively, cheerful, boyish even.
Making him look open.
Trin loved seeing Tanwa like this. He seemed to always be ready to joke around, and yet having him tease Trin, laugh with Trin, and be playful for Trin filled his heart with happiness to the brim.
Tanwa poured the hot water into cups, grabbed the paper bag he brought home, and turned his back to Trin. The said man looked at him, arching his brow amused but didn’t say anything. Tanwa turned back to him in mere minutes, showing off a plate where was a heart made of a few kanom krok and a bunch of banana pancakes.
“Ta-da!”
Trin smiled softly and took one kanom krok. Tanwa watched him with gleaming eagerness.
“’s good. Where did you buy them? That lovely bakery around the corner?”
“Mhm”, he nodded, sipping his tea. “Auntie there is a fan of mine. Always gives me the best sweets.”
“Of course she is. You’re so charming, no wonder that kind woman had fallen for you”, Trin chuckled.
He recalled their short weekend at Nakorn Chaisri. Tanwa mingled so well with his family. Trin’s mum was glad to welcome his friend – it’s not that his acquaintances often visited her home. She liked how easy-going the man was and laughed at his jokes sincerely. He ate a proper amount of food, never refused to try her homemade sweets, and smiled a lot. Sure thing, he won her affections. Every mum likes kids like that.
Eventually, Tanwa even got along with Taeng. A few rides on his back around their yard, and he’d stolen her heart once and for all.
Everybody got so upset after his sudden departure. Trin felt unsettled, too.
The sensation of Tanwa’s back pressed to his chest as they were stirring sugar appeared in his memory, making him feel warm. He wondered how many more moments like that they could have had if they had paid his family one more visit. Tanwa didn’t even need to bring any clothes – Trin could easily provide him with his own wardrobe. Make him wear his old shirts that smelled of campfire, take him for a walk around the village, show him the field. Get lost in the wavy paths, tangle daisies between the strands of his hair, fall onto the grass on the lawn, and eat raspberries that tasted of sun and ground. And laugh. And kiss.
Reminiscing about their days back in the village, Trin almost missed the shy glint in Tanwa’s eyes. He wondered whether it appeared there every time he complimented him and he just didn’t notice before, or it was just his imagination. Which could be entirely possible, because Trin would love it if his words reached Tanwa’s heart.
He picked one kanom krok from the plate and took a bite.
“When I was younger, my mom would make kanom krok on the weekends sometimes. One day, we came up with a plan on how to distract her from the kitchen and ate almost half of the plate. She was furious”.
“What did you say to her?”
Trin chuckled.
“We said we’ve lost our chickens when grazing them, but in fact they were still on the farm. She ran around a few neighbour houses and returned with empty hands”.
“No wonder she was mad”, Tanwa smiled.
He wrapped both hands around his cup, the heat of it warming his palms.
“I used to like drawing a lot. Still enjoy painting, as you see, but when you’re a kid, everything feels brighter, right? So, there was one time when I was desperate to create art, but ran out of all my colouring pages. The first thing that fell into my vision was my mum’s shit music notebook. I was captivated by the whimsical shapes of some notes, so I brought colour to them. Somewhere, I just filled the free space, somewhere green lawns and flowers started to bloom with birds flying above. When she came back and saw it, I noticed something was odd, and for a bit, I felt like I would get scolded, but then she smiled at me. She said she loved my art and will show it to everyone in the band. Father was pretty unhappy, though. Because after I finished with the notebook, I moved to his documents”.
Trin laughed, meeting his gaze. His eyes softened at Tanwa. He knew it was a vulnerable topic, so he smiled reassuringly.
“I guess your mom saw an artist in you from the very beginning”, Trin said quietly.
“And wasn’t she right?” Tanwa answered, not lifting his gaze, a soft smile on his lips.
“Of course she was. She knew you only sought joy and shared it with others. Bet those flowers you drew were bright and lively”.
Tanwa looked him in the eyes as if he still partially struggled to believe in his words. His gaze was slightly unsure and so open.
Trin reached out and tucked his side bang behind his ear – one of his favourite expressions of love lately. He cupped Tanwa’s cheek, brushing the soft skin with his thumb.
“And look at you now. All grown-up, tall and broad. And with a beautiful soul. I just know she would be proud of you”.
Tanwa watched him for a bit and broke into quiet chuckle as if he said something funny. There was still that golden tint of gratefulness in his eyes that made Trin sure what he said affected him right.
“Oh”, Tanwa’s eyes went wide all of a sudden. “I forgot we’ve got jam”.
He turned around and walked to the cupboard. Trin watched his hips embraced by playful waves of silk swaying just a little as his legs moved. The thighs underneath soft layer of fabric were not too broad but pretty wide. Enough to put a pleasant weight on Trin’s shoulders as he sucked on unmarked skin. His hair strands descended on the crimson robe, thick and dark like gloomy night. Two colours made a perfect match - rich, mysterious, but oh so tempting combination, it suited Tanwa just right.
He lifted his hand reaching for a jar on the shelf. The fabric shifted, touching him in different places now. Trin wondered how smaller his waist might feel if he hugged him from the back. He moved before he could think twice. Tanwa stopped in his tracks, Trin’s hands enveloping him firmly, his breath warm against his neck. Trin nuzzled the skin under his ear. A moment passed and Tanwa snapped back to reality, usual gleeful smile stretching on his lips again. He slid his hands down Trin’s ones and leaned back slightly, his mouth almost catching Trin’s temple.
“So jam is a no?”
Trin tightened his grip.
“Got something much sweeter here”, he murmured softly leaving a small kiss on clear skin.
The short ponytail tickled Trin’s nose as Tanwa turned in his hands, leaving a fragrant trail of his shampoo in the air that you can only smell this close. Trin loved Tanwa’s hair. He teetered between burying his face in thick strands and standing like that for a decade, and starting a passionate make out session. Tanwa probably noticed his predicament. His smile got just a bit smugger, his eyes feigning innocence when he fixed his bangs in a few graceful movements.
“Don’t let your jaw hang so low”, he whispered caressing Trin’s chin gently. “It may fall on the ground eventually”.
“Brat”, Trin chuckled, wasting no time to close the distance between them.
* * *
They moved slowly towards the lounge room not leaving each other’s mouths. As Tanwa’s ankles bumped into the mattress, he stopped. Trin looked at him closely, not even questioning, just waiting. The next second he was sitting on the mattress pushed by his lover while Tanwa was on all fours in front of him. The zipper on his pants was already opened, his hard dick probably leaking against his underwear, considering how persistent Tanwa was stroking him in kitchen a few moments ago. Spreading his legs, putting his groin on display like this seemed embarrassing for a decent man Trin was. It was Tanwa who he did that for. Tanwa who probably didn’t know what embarrassment felt like and who clearly wanted Trin if the hunger in his eyes might tell anything.
Oh, he couldn’t even imagine what things Trin would do to get that desperate look only for himself.
Things much filthier than spreading his legs.
Tanwa wasted no time to pull his pants down and shove them aside. He looked at his clothed dick like it was a freshly baked cream horn to be devoured. Trin watched in awe how he bent lower to catch the brim of his boxer briefs between his teeth and tried to tug them to his thighs. Soon, Tanwa got rid of the last garment that separated him from his lover’s dick. He moved closer and began to stroke the pretty member at the base.
“’been waiting to try it”, Tanwa said, his voice low and thick with desire.
Gleeful anticipation bubbled in Trin’s chest. He smiled as his warm brown eyes became hot with daring. Trin reached his hand to stoke Tanwa’s chin. Two can play this game.
“Help yourself then, kitty. Enjoy”.
For a moment Tanwa blinked at him in surprise, but then his smile got wider, the man barely suppressing a heartfelt laughter. Instead, he licked his lips, as mischief came back to his expression, and let out the prettiest meow.
It was so embarrassing if he tried to mull it over. Calling a grown-up man a kitten, Tanwa meowing and licking his neck, him wiggling his ass as if he did have a furry tail there. Thus, Trin concluded he should not think it over. Ever. Some things were just better done without reasoning and out of pure want. That’s what Tanwa taught him. Trin still sometimes struggled to unwind. Thankfully, his lover was persistent enough to help him get loose. Irresistible enough, to be precise.
Instead of thinking about how wrong their kinks were, Trin opted for thinking where to get cat ears for Tanwa.
Though his cognitive process stopped abruptly when a hot mouth took his dick in. Tanwa looked at him proudly, drawing out a groan from Trin’s lips. The eye contact was electrifying. As boastful as Tanwa was, the effect Trin had on him was almost ridiculous. Seeing the filthy satisfaction in the man’s eyes, looking at him from below with his heavy cock filling all the space in his mouth, sent waves of pleasure directly to his own dick.
Tanwa closed his eyes, hoping not to spill into his pants too soon like some teenager, and started bobbing his head in unrushed pace. He felt Trin’s palm on his temple in a while, long fingers running through his hair, massaging the scalp softly, not pushing but welcoming.
“What a nice kitty”, Tanwa heard the rough voice above him.
Trin scratched him behind his ear.
“Pleasing me so well”.
The praise went straight to Tanwa’s cock, making him moan around the dick on his tongue. The corner of Trin’s mouth quirked slightly. Tanwa then hollowed his cheeks and swallowed as much length as he could, burying his nose in the soft hairs of the man’s happy trail. The action drew a chocked whimper out of Trin, as he pulled Tanwa’s hair unintentionally.
Wet with saliva and pre-come, Tanwa’s lips left the hard cock with a sound bop. The frustrated groan Trin let out was music to his ears. Tanwa lifted himself and wiped his chin with his hand. He moved closer to Trin, caging him with his hands.
“So, who’s the one enjoying it, huh?” he whispered playfully and kissed him on the jaw.
“Such a naughty kitten”, Trin answered, not hiding a warm smile.
He kissed Tanwa slowly, tenderly and then switched their positions.
“You know what happens to kittens who misbehave?” Trin bent to whisper in his ear. “They get punished”.
He moved slightly, facing his lover. Trin barely held back a moan, seeing how Tanwa bit his lower lip eagerly as dark lust filled his eyes. He pouted, knitting his eyebrows.
“Oh, seems this kitty did misbehave”, Tanwa gave his neck a tiny lick. “Punish me, please”.
Trin moaned loudly, barely restraining himself. He guessed he couldn’t when it came to Tanwa.
The said man took his wrist and tugged gently.
“Let me”, he said, answering the questioning look pointed at him.
Tanwa brought his hand to his mouth and took in three fingers in one swallow. Trin watched him in surprise, quick tongue wetting his digits. Soon, Tanwa let go of his hand and lay back. He got rid of his pants and underwear tossing in to the side and spread his bare legs.
“Now you can punish me as you please”.
“Fuck”.
Trin assumed he was losing his mind. Tanwa licked his fingers before stretching at first and now he presented himself to him like this, completely naked and inviting.
If things went like that Trin may never come back to work and the worst part is that he didn’t even care.
* * *
The blanket thrown over the mattress was a knitted meadow. It consisted of mainly green and teal yarn, but there was a golden stain in the corner that remotely resembled the sun. Once in a while among jade stitches appeared pink or ruby ones like tiny wildflowers peeking between high sprouts of wheat.
Tanwa lay on it complementing the landscape perfectly. He was completely naked. The thin crimson robe pooled around his frame like a blooming bed of poppies. Tanwa’s hair was disheveled as if after a long day of running and heartfelt laughter. Its black strands lay on the mattress messily like they would have been if he had actually fallen on the grass.
It could have seemed a real image if the knitted meadow hadn’t been shifting constantly due to deliberate thrusts of Trin’s hips against Tanwa’s ass.
Moans filled the room instead of birds singing. Trin didn’t complain, though. He liked listening to Tanwa’s whimpers of his name as much as to his concerts. Nothing compared to pleasure of having the man of his desires all ruined on his cock, cheeks flushed and eyes filled with lust, begging him for more. Trin traced Tanwa’s waist and gripped his hips firmly as he continued his sweet torture. He noticed a strand of hair that sticked to his lover’s sweaty forehead and swiped it to the side gently. Tanwa grinned at him as if realizing he was still here after being swept away by pleasure and pulled Trin down for a sloppy kiss.
“You know”, he said. “If this is going to be the punishment I will never ever behave”.
Trin chuckled.
“Too chatty as for a naughty kitten, aren’t you?”
He lifted Tanwa’s chin a bit, waiting for him to bite back.
“I thought I made it clear how perfect I am with my mouth”.
Once again, his smile remained innocent but eyes burned with challenge. Trin couldn’t help but give in. He got a firm hold of Tanwa’s hips and made a harsh thrust. It drew a melodical sound out of the singer’s throat, but he had no time to even gasp as Trin picked up his pace, slamming into him again.
“Oh, did you, kitty?” he asked breathlessly, watching Tanwa becoming a sobbing mess under him. “I didn’t get it, I’m afraid. Will it be possible… huh… for you to… to demonstrate your skills for me next time?”
“Oh fuck”, Tanwa shouted throwing his head back in pleasure.
It took him some time to regain his composure. He tried to put on his trademark charming smile.
“By all means, doctor Trin”.
His hair was disheveled, gaze hazy from desire, and despite the great effort Tanwa put into making his face expression collected he looked fucked. He looked fucked and was affording him another blow job while calling him by the title.
All the rational thinking Trin had in him was now gone.
He fell into hectic pace, desperate for Tanwa’s voice, desperate for their shared pleasure. It didn’t take them too long to finally reach their highs. Tanwa came in shuddering pulses with his lover’s name on his lips, milking Trin nicely. He soon followed, too, marking Tanwa’s insides with white semen.
* * *
They were lying side to side on the soft cushions with sewed reindeers and foxes. The air slowly cooled down after the heated sex, them catching their breaths. Tanwa didn’t feel like moving yet despite the come inside of him starting to feel uncomfortable. Instead, he let his eyes wander around the room. There were a couple of books on the windowsill beside his hammock that he was reading lately. Tanwa’s eyes lingered on the colourful spines, his face calm with consideration.
He didn’t notice how Trin stretched his arms with a quiet sigh and then turned over to hook his hand around Tanwa.
“What’re you thinking?” he asked softly, so was his touch.
“Thank you”.
“For what?”
“For taming me”.
Trin followed the direction of Tanwa’s look and found a small book with dark blue hardcover. “The Little Prince”, its title said, slim letters shimmering with gold. Trin’s heart melted once he grasped what Tanwa meant.
He was absolutely charmed by him and this man didn’t help to prevent Trin from falling even deeper.
He kissed him in the shoulder.
“So, you’re my rose then?” he asked barely above a whisper.
Tanwa turned over, lying on his back now. He looked up at Trin, his expression soft and calm.
“Can you… Be my rose too?”
Trin’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, and Tanwa reached his hand to caress his cheek gently, looking deep inside warm brown orbs.
“I want to tame you too, Trin. Let me take care of you?”
Tanwa forced his voice to seem steady. He did his best to remain composed while waiting for Trin’s answer. His lover’s face was unreadable, as if there were so much going on on his mind and in his heart that no emotion could make it to the surface.
For Tanwa, an eternity passed when Trin finally reached out and stroked his cheek.
“You did it long ago. Tamed me. Can’t believe you didn’t know”.
Tanwa let out a breath he had no idea he was holding.
He was aware that Trin had feelings for him for a while – the man stated that himself multiple times. It’s just like Tanwa… forgot it sometimes. Hearing Trin saying it so matter-of-factly surprised him as if it was Trin’s first confession every time.
“I’ve never regretted taming you. I’m happy with you, Tanwa”, came in a low whisper as he studied Tanwa’s face.
Tanwa genuinely didn’t want to ruin the moment but if that would have continued, he might have as well started crying in ugly sobs and it would’ve been completely Trin’s fault. Trin intertwined their fingers, putting their hands palm to palm, and kissed his knuckles.
So, Tanwa thought, that was the place he belonged to. The embrace of Trin’s arms and his endless enveloping love.
He liked it.
“I’m happy with you, too, Trin”.
Trin let out a small chuckle and kissed him in the forehead. Tanwa snuggled to his side, craving warmth and comfort more than ever. Trin picked the first blanket he could reach and draped it over their naked bodies, pulling Tanwa closer. The said man soon fell asleep lulled by calm heartbeat under his cheek.
* * *
The sound of engine was becoming more and more quieter, and Trin’s car soon disappeared around the corner of a lively street. Tanwa stood on the porch for a few more moments and went back inside the shop. It was still only him and Sucha.
He didn’t understand, though. If Sucha had been there all this time, why hadn’t he come to the rescue and helped Tanwa bake something? Yet, he couldn’t blame him for too long. He’d spent wonderful time with Trin and was beyond happy.
After a while, Tanwa decided it was time to put away the cans of paint they used to decorate the wall. They hid them in the storage room which was already full of clutter like old bags, cutlery and a sewing machine. After that, Tanwa returned to his usual spot in the hammock. He dropped his gaze to the same three books he looked at in the morning, having Trin’s warm body tucked to his side, and gasped.
On top of the blue hardcover, next to the letters shimmering with gold, bloomed a tiny paper rose. Neatly folded, it was as petit and adorable as the Little Prince himself. Tanwa put it on his palm, watching it falling on its side. He chuckled, the pure joy bubbling in his chest.
Tanwa got up and went straight to the shelf on the wall. He carefully set the flower next to the ballerina figurine and stepped back to look at it. Delighted smile stretched his mouth. Suddenly, something occurred to him, he turned around and headed out of the room.
“Sucha!” he called. “Do you remember where we left that glass box with transparent walls?”
Tanwa was determined to keep the flower safe and sound. It was his responsibility now.
His rose.