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“...For someone so pretentious about movies, I can’t believe you can’t be bothered to pay a couple extra dollars to get rid of ads,” James muttered as the dingy tablet in front of them switched once again to show some cheesy, overplayed dish soap commercial.
“Oh, God forbid you have to go more than thirty seconds without a screen in your face,” Aiden huffed, reaching out a hand to bat away at the one reaching into his pocket for his phone. Which was something that James felt really ought to annoy him more, although he supposed he didn’t mind Aiden’s company enough that he could let it slide. And maybe a part of him liked knowing that he wanted his attention, that he felt close enough to know he could keep it.
They sat huddled together under the shitty cabin blanket on Aiden’s bed. There weren’t really many other comfortable places to sit inside, and it was usually empty here this time of day, and he liked that Aiden let him climb onto his bed and squeeze next to him and share his blanket, even if he felt a little cramped trying to sit up on the bottom bunk. It was such a simple thing, spending time with him like this, but it wasn’t really like anything he was used to doing, and something about it felt almost novel. “When did you start getting so desperate for my attention?” he trilled, and Aiden rolled his eyes.
“You say that like you aren’t constantly begging me to watch those dumb slasher movies with you.”
James hummed in faux thoughtfulness. “Wait, which one of us wanted to watch this snoozefest anyways?”
Aiden grumbled and turned his head away in place of accepting his clear defeat. “Whatever. So, anyways…”
James snorted softly, inexplicably just slightly too charmed to call him out on blatantly changing the subject. “Hm?” Aiden was quiet for a moment, and he couldn’t tell if he was hesitating or genuinely searching for something to say.
“Oh! I’ve been meaning to ask …In the other room, while you were making popcorn a couple nights ago...” Which was sort of an odd way to refer to the night they had died, but Aiden still seemed a little shaken up about it (which was the only reason he was letting him get away with choosing these lame ass movies right now, for the record). Aiden clicked his tongue thoughtfully.“You said something like… ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’”
James blinked. It certainly wasn’t what he had expected him to say, and the memory was still a little fuzzy in his own mind. “Yeah?”
He looked down at Aiden, feeling a little more caught off than really made sense. He was staring back at the screen boredly, and he reached out idly to grab a handful of the slightly cold popcorn in front of them, like the memory had reminded him it was there. (He had gone with him into the kitchen to make this batch, although he said it was because he was worried James would burn it, which was totally unfair, because he had never even done that in front of him before.) His hand paused in front of his mouth. “Were you talking about me?”
“You heard that?” It hadn’t even crossed his mind when he was taking the call, although really, it wasn’t like he minded much. He reached a hand of his own towards the popcorn absentmindedly.
He waited a moment for Aiden to finish chewing. “Um, yeah. These cabins are really echo-y. And you’re loud.”
“Why would you think I was talking about you?”
“Well, I mean, some of your followers seem to have gotten that kind of idea into their heads recently. A-and it’s not like I really even keep up with that stuff.”
James chuckled, and Aiden turned his head to look up at him. “Who cares what they think?”
Aiden turned back around to face away from him, crossing his arms like the chill of the cabin air was getting to him. “Um, yeah, right.”
James stared at him for a moment, unsure what to make of that response. “...I just mean that none of them know anything about either of us.” And it was a little odd to think that he so easily excluded Aiden from that category. Somehow he had managed to let slip the kinds of things he always tried so vigilantly to hide away for the sake of his online persona. The years he spent in school band, without a lick of skill to show for it, or all those school dances he had skipped out on in fear of being alone, or those braces he had sworn would never see the light of day- “So don’t let whatever they’re saying get to you too much. I don’t care about what they want you to do, I care about what you want.” …How long had that been true, anyways? James couldn’t really remember when that had changed, but he knew that he meant it now.
“Oh. Um,” and Aiden looked a little taken aback by that, snapped away from his mostly nonchalant demeanor for a moment. Sea green eyes bored into him intently, like he was trying and failing to puzzle away at something within his words. Then he turned back away, as unaffected as ever. “So, about that phone call…”
“Hmm… My memory is pretty fuzzy, with those tranquilizers and all… I’m not sure if I can remember what you’re talking about.”
“James,” Aiden groaned, and he threw his head back in exasperation, letting it fall back to rest on James’ chest and glaring up at him. He was leaning more of his weight on him, now, and James had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around him.
“It was the night butcher,” he said in an exaggerated voice, and then he fell silent, like that had somehow explained anything.
“Pft… come on, seriously.”
“What are you even asking, exactly? I don’t have a boyfriend. You know that,” he said, poking at his side and savoring the little surprised giggle it earned. “So what are you getting at?”
“Maybe I just want to hear that they thought it was me.” Aiden grinned and lidded his eyes, like he was trying a little too hard to sound cool.
James tilted his head to the side, raising his eyebrows in feigned confusion. “What? Whyever would you want that?”
Aiden closed his eyes and smiled a little more genuinely, shifting himself to lean a little more comfortably against his chest. “I’m like… living in their heads.”
“...You’re living in a lot of people’s heads, I’d presume.”
A pretty teal eye cracked open. “Huh? That’s literally what I just said.”
“….You’re not even watching this movie.” He had been waiting for Aiden to give any kind of acknowledgment that what he had proclaimed to be ‘the best sci-fi rom-com about a pair of undercover botanists I’ve ever seen’ was back on, but at this rate he wasn’t sure he would notice at all.
“Um, I totally am! Sorry, I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to talk.” …He was still smiling at him instead of looking at the screen.
“...you don’t have to stop talking.”
“….Soooo,” he said after a moment, looping a strand of blond hair around a finger. “Why aren’t you dating anyone, anyways? Aren’t you a huge deal? And- I’m sure people are all over you. What, is it like how people pay more attention to your content if they, like, think they have a chance or whatever?”
That caught him off guard, because it totally was a defense he’d used before when asked that very question, and part of him had almost started to accept that it was true. For some reason, now, he didn’t feel as compelled to give that answer. It wasn’t like he hadn't had any entanglements before, but certainly nothing so clearly defined or lasting as Aiden seemed to be getting at.
“Do you really think I’m that shallow?” he asked slyly, and Aiden stared back at him blankly. “Damn, ok. Well…” He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand- free hand? He wasn’t sure when the other had drifted around to Aiden’s shoulder, but there it was. “When you’re as famous as me, it feels like most people know who you are already, yeah?”
“Why are you saying that like I would have any idea what you’re talking about,” Aiden grumbled, and James went on.
“Most of the people who want to get to know me already have this version of me in their head… It’s only fun for a while before it starts to feel like I just have to keep acting all the time. They don’t actually know me, and it’s not like they really want to.” Was that right? It wasn’t like he didn’t want that kind of attention, but it was true that it never really led to anything that felt worth pursuing after a while.
“...Oh. If it makes you feel any better, I think that influencer persona thing you have going on is kind of insufferable. I don’t get why you act like that anyways.”
“Um, rude! You can’t just ask someone something like that.”
Aiden shrugged, letting his eyes fall shut. “I wasn’t asking anything. Just saying I like this side of you better anyways.”
…Aiden looked comfortable, like this. It seemed he had given up even pretending to watch this movie, which was fine, even though he had been trying to get onto him about not paying attention- Not that it was a high bar, but he preferred this sight to trying to comprehend any of that mindless, mushy drivel. “How isn’t a cutie like you with anyone, anyways?” He liked the way his nose scrunched up at the question, how he opened his eyes to glare up at him, how his pale cheeks tinted pink.
“I don’t remember ever saying anything like that,” he grumbled, then before James had the chance to get a word in- “Shut up. It’s not like…” He trailed off, biting the side of his cheek like he was mulling something over in his head. He finally went on, voice a little softer, now. “I mean, I wasn’t really interested in that kind of thing for a long time, and then I guess I just hadn’t found the right person yet. It’s nothing that interesting.”
“Hadn’t, huh?”
Aiden glared up at him, an exasperated smile playing out on his pretty face. “Uh, yeah. It’s just a turn of phrase, don’t get yourself too worked up over it.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Mm, I’m sure.” Aiden yawned before rolling himself over, effectively laying on top of him, burying his head against his chest.
“I’m starting to think you only pick these movies because you know I won’t try to stop you from falling asleep on top of me.”
“I’m literally paying attention,” came Aiden’s muffled voice. “And it’s not my fault you’re taking up most of the bed.”
“Mmhm, right.” A dark hand drifted up to rest at the base of Aiden’s scalp, and he let his fingers card through his hair lightly.
“And-“ Aiden struggled through a yawn, “-it doesn’t count if you’re trying to get me to fall asleep either.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Asshole,” James was pretty sure he said.