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There he was, the life of the party, I always wondered why I couldn’t be like him. He always found who to go out with, what to talk about and what to say, while I just stood in a corner wondering when it would seem appropriate to go home without being rude or making others concerned for me. I tended to feel a pang of jealousy at times. Why did he keep choosing to go out like that instead of being with me? He knew I didn’t like going out all the time, yes of course I liked it once in a while, I’m not a hermit, but I’m not the most sociable person on the planet, I need my time at home, quiet and calm. So why did he keep leaving me, even just going out at times without even asking if I’d like to come along. I felt so betrayed by everything, every time it happened it made me more and more upset. But I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him how I felt, I was afraid that we’d end up in a really big argument that would just end wrong. I felt so selfish for feeling like this, it wasn’t fair to him, not at all. My reasons for being upset felt so stupid, they really had no valid reasons, I was just mad that things weren’t going the way I thought and I didn’t have the courage to speak up about it.
It was during one Saturday evening that he decided he’d had enough, he felt too overwhelmed not to say anything. Phil had gone out with friends again, and of course, looking to not be alone all night, Steve had looked to make other plans with the guys, something calm. He tried asking Joe if he wanted to help him with some lyrics to a song he’d been working on, he asked Rick if he wanted to bake some cookies together, and he’d even asked Sav if he’d like to go rent a movie to watch at home, unfortunately they had all told him that they had plans, different ones at that, but still a disappointing thing to hear. The last straw being that once again Phil had gone out, and now he was all alone. He tried doing things that usually cheered him up, playing guitar, drawing, and even looking through some magazines. He tried everything to distract himself and stop the depressing feeling that kept growing and growing inside of him. Nothing was working. He opted to just mindlessly switch through the TV channels, waiting to find something that interested him, to no avail. He just waited for Phil to get home, feeling lonely as ever. In his mind his thoughts just kept spiraling. He was getting more and more paranoid, even though he knew he shouldn’t be thinking what he was. He felt jealous that his best friend kept choosing to go out with people he barely knew instead of him, he knew it wasn’t fair to him but he couldn’t help his emotions taking control. He felt so angry, so betrayed. He wasn’t even watching the TV at that point, and had been sitting there for a while, stuck inside his mind, when he heard a voice break him out of his thoughts.
“Steve? Are you alright?” his fellow guitarist spoke to him, standing in front of the TV, looking at him concerned, “I called out your name about 7 times and you never replied.” The taller blonde looked up at him, his face completely serious, looking almost angry. He hadn’t even heard him come in. “What happened? Is something wrong?” He went to sit down next to his best friend.
And that’s when something inside of him snapped, and he just started saying everything that was on his mind for the past 4 and a half hours.
“What do you mean ‘is something wrong’ ? Everything’s wrong! No one will talk to me, or want to spend time with me, they won’t even invite me out to wherever they go. I feel so alone all the time and mostly because you keep going out with your so-called friends! You barely even know them! It’s like I’m not even your best friend at this point! You’re never home, I might as well just live alone. And it really hurts me that you leave me all the time. Am I really that boring? Is it because I rather stay inside than go out to parties? I’m sorry I’m not so fun or a good friend that you have to go out with others to spend a good time, I’m sorry I’m not good enough.”
Phil was caught off guard by all of this. He was so shocked that his best friend felt all of this and he never knew.
“Steve, mate, I had no idea you were feeling all this. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you with my going out and all. You know I would never consciously do something to make you feel bad. You mean so much to me and I want us to be best friends, you’re the one person that I can truly be myself with. But I find myself going out with others at times because I don’t want to bore you by being with you too much. I didn’t invite you out when I was going because I thought you wouldn’t like it there. I didn’t think it would make you feel so upset. It was never my intention really.”
“Well, yeah maybe you have a point there.” He said softly, a bit embarrassed by his outburst towards his best friend.
“Is there any way I can make it up to you?” He looked tenderly into the other’s eyes.
“Well, yeah, there might be something you can do…”
It was now 2 AM and Steve and Phil found themselves in the kitchen of their house. They sat in front of the oven, waiting for the timer to go off. When it rang, Phil eagerly got up and went to get some oven mitts to take the tray of warm chocolate chip cookies out of the oven.
“Your cookies are done, sir.” He playfully bowed down with the tray, offering one to Steve.
“Thank you, sir.” He smiled back.
They both went to sit in the living room to enjoy a few of their freshly baked cookies together.
They sat in silence for a while, until Phil broke it, he looked at Steve, “So, am I forgiven now?”
“Well, it depends…”
He smiled, “Depends on what?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.
He closed the space between the two, kissing the shorter blonde softly. As they pulled away, he could see the smile forming on his face, and so he took his chance, he asked, “Stay with me forever?”
To which he replied, “Of course, my love.”