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Clarke was 6 when it first happened, the drawing appearing on her hand. She looked at it and screamed, “Daddy!”
Jake burst into the room, “What’s wrong, sweetie?” Clarke thrust her hand in her dad’s face, a worried look in her eyes. Jake grabbed Clarke and plopped her in his lap and took her little hand in his. “Well, sweetie.” He began. “This means you have a soulmate, someone who you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with. It’s very rare to have a soulmate, that’s what makes it so special. When your soulmate writes on their skin it appears on yours, and the same when you write on yours.” Jake smiled at his little girl as she ran her fingers over the writing.
“That’s so cool!” Clarke breathed, smiling up at her dad.
Clarke had spent many years drawing random pictures on her skin for her soulmate to see, her soulmate did the same. Clarke was 12 when they started to use their connection to talk to one another. Her soulmate became her best friend, she had Raven and Octavia, but it wasn’t the same. Whenever she felt the tingling, signalling her soulmate was writing on her arm, she would smile and her heart would skip. It was an unspoken rule between the two that they wouldn’t mention names, they weren’t ready for that. Clarke spent years talking to her soulmate, every day without fail. Her soulmate knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. When her dad died, she was 14, she refused to speak to anyone. She still wrote to her soulmate; she’d tell them all about her dad. Her soulmate would draw silly things whenever she was sad to make her smile.
6 months ago, Clarke had broken up with her long-term boyfriend, Finn. When it happened she was heartbroken and turned to her soulmate to stop her sadness. Her soulmate did just that, but in trying to stop her from being sad she found out that her soulmate knew who she was. When Clarke questioned them they admitted that they’d known for some time. Clarke was mad at first that she didn’t know who her soulmate was and had spent the last 6 months trying to figure out who her mystery soulmate could be.
Clarke walks into school, like every day, in her cheerleading uniforms and notices the usual parting of people as she approaches. She’s popular, she knows it. She doesn’t necessarily love it but it comes with being a cheerleader. As she approaches her locker she notices her. Lexa. Their lockers were next to one another, just her luck. Her and Lexa have been at the same schools since they were 10, 7 years. Lexa had moved from New York, she didn’t know much about why, but she knew that Lexa was in a foster home. The two had met on the first day of school and the hatred was almost instantaneous. Clarke’s not sure how the hatred really started but it’s gone on for so long now that it’s almost out of habit. They have nothing in common, they have completely different friends and Lexa is so full of herself. Always walking around with that stupid leather jacket on, thinking she was so sexy.
Clarke throws her locker door open and retrieves her book for chemistry class. She hears a scoff next to her and sees Lexa rolling her eyes. Clarke scowls at her, mutters “arse” under her breath, shuts her locker and walks to class.
As she sits down she feels the all too familiar feeling on her left arm, tingling. She shrugs her jacket onto the back of her chair and watches as the delicate handwriting appears across her forearm. Every day like clockwork.
You look breath-taking today.
The messages are always different, but very similar. That was today’s. She blushes at the compliment and a small smile appears on her lips. She loves getting these messages from her soulmate, she just wished that they’d tell her who they were. They never exchanged names, but somehow her soulmate figured out that they were at the same school and subsequently who she was, but Clarke couldn’t. It infuriated her to no end.
The teacher started droning on about the test at the end of the month and Clarke zoned out. She was smart, extremely, she knew she didn’t need to listen to ace the test. Instead she settled for doodling on her arm. She knew her soulmate loved her drawing, they’d mentioned wanted to get one tattooed, but that meant Clarke would also have it tattooed.
When lunch arrived Clarke made her way to the cafeteria and sat at her table waiting for Raven & Octavia to get out of English. She looked up when she heard Raven’s voice.
“He’s such an arrogant moron!” Raven ranted.
“Who is?” Clarke questioned
“Fucking Finn, who else?” She replied
“Anyway, how’s your day been Clarke? Any messages from the soulmate?” Octavia said quickly changing the subject. Getting Raven on the topic of Finn was never a good idea, he’d cheated on Clarke throughout their 2-year relationship, when Raven found out she’d left Octavia to console her while she went to his house to punch him in the face.
“Um, yeah.” Clarke mumbled, pulling up her jacket sleeve to reveal today’s message. She knew having a soulmate was rare, she’d never met anyone else with one. She always felt a little strange about talking to the two girls about her soulmate, she knew they got jealous sometimes.
“Why don’t you just find out who it is already, it’s been going on for 6 months! Maybe they’re fugly and that’s why they won’t tell you.” Raven said, unhelpfully.
“Shut up Raven! It’s not that easy!” Clarke exclaimed.
“Of course it is! If you’d let me I’d show you my fool proof plan for finding out who it is.” Raven countered. Clarke pondered this, Raven’s plans never seemed to work out well for her.
“Fine, what is it?” She huffed. Raven ducked under the table, rooting around in her bag before shooting back up with a gleeful smile and a bright red marker in her hand. Clarke’s eyes widened as Raven pulled the cap off and leaned towards her.
“Come here.” Raven mumbled, with the cap between her teeth. She grabbed the back of Clarkes head and pressed the pen to her forehead.
“Raven, what are you doing?” Clarke exclaimed.
“One minute, I’m nearly finished.” Raven said, a look of concentration on her face, before pulling back with a smirk and saying “There.”
“Raven what did you draw?” Clarke questioned, hesitantly.
“Here.” Octavia said, thrusting her compact mirror at her. Octavia was busy staring at her phone, she hadn’t looked up to see what was drawn on Clarke’s head. Clarke hesitantly raised it to look at her forehead and nearly screamed at the site. Raven had proceeded to draw a rather phallic drawing of a penis on Clarke’s forehead.
“Raven!” Clarke screamed. “What the hell have you done!”
“Well now you’ll both have the drawing and you won’t be able to miss them and then you can live happily ever after!” Raven explained with a wicked grin on her lips. Octavia slapped her on the arm.
“You’re a dick!” She chastised.
“I’m going to wash this off!” She said as she raised herself form her chair and gathered her things.
“It’s not gonna come off, Clarke.” Raven laughed. Clarke face turned from a look of anger to completely horrified.
“WHAT!?!” She yelled. “Are you fucking kidding me, Raven? You used permanent marker on my forehead? Fuck you!” With that Clarke stormed off towards the bathroom in an attempt to reduce the marking on her forehead. She’d stood for a good 10 minutes scrubbing her forehead before she let out a long, defeated sigh. “Fucking stupid, my soulmate’s going to hate me now.” She mumbled to herself. With that the bathroom door swung open, slamming against the tiled wall. Clarke yelped in surprised and turned to the intruder.
An extremely angry Lexa was storming towards her. She was wearing her signature leather jacket, skinny jeans that showed how toned her legs were and a baseball cap resting on top of her curls. Clarke let her eyes roam the girl’s body as she stormed towards her.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Lexa demanded, standing directly in front of Clarke, causing her back to hit the sink.
“Running a marathon, what does it look like I’m doing, idiot?” Clarke scoffed.
“Wha-No, THIS!” Lexa yelled, yanking the baseball cap, that sat on her head, off. She pointed violently at her forehead, which bore the same mark as Clarke’s.
Clarke let out a loud gasp at the site. “Wait, but, no. You can’t be. That’s not possible. I hate you, you hate me. No. no. no. absolutely not.” Clarke rambled. This was not happening. Lexa couldn’t possibly be her soulmate. Her soulmate was sweet, kind, loving, everything Lexa was not. This had to be some cruel joke, right. Throughout Clarke’s rant Lexa’s face went from the violent angry red, of when she first arrived, to a look a dejection and possibly sadness before hardening into her signature scowl.
“Just get it off, ok. I don’t need detention again because you did something stupid.” Lexa sighed and turned on her heel, replaced the cap on her head and left the bathroom.
Clarkes mouth was still agape. She couldn’t believe it, how could Lexa Woods be her soulmate, it didn’t make sense.
Clarke had no luck with soap and water trying to get the pen off and she knew she couldn’t go to class like this. She made her way to the nurse’s office hoping to find a solution. The nurse had given her a disapproving look before handing her a solution that should work and some cotton wool. Clarke got to work trying to remove the drawing. It worked, sort of, she ended up with a bright red smudge on her head, but you couldn’t see the image anymore. Feeling partially satisfied she grabbed her note from the nurse and headed to class.
She couldn’t concentrate on anything. Her head was swimming. She was trying to put the pieces together to try and work out how she had missed that her soulmate was in fact the one person at this school that she couldn’t stand. The rest of the day passed quickly and in a haze, Clarke couldn’t remember what had happened in the last classes of the day and barley remembered getting home. When she did she made her way upstairs and flung herself on her bed, screaming into her pillow.
Lexa had stormed away from Clarke towards the school bleachers where Anya was sat, smoking.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Anya asked, as she watched Lexa stomp up the steps towards her.
“Don’t wanna talk about it.” Lexa mumbled, holding out her hand to take the cigarette. She grabbed the cigarette from Anya’s fingers and took a long drag, leaning herself back into the seat as she exhaled. Anya was watching her, her eyebrows raised, questioning the girl beside her. Lexa rolled her eyes and wrenched the baseball cap off her head. “This! Look what she did! Fucking ridiculous.” Lexa all but yelled. Anya burst into a fit of laughter, clutching her stomach and almost falling off her chair. “It’s not funny ok.” Lexa whined, putting the cap back on her head.
“Lex, it’s your own fault y’know.” The girls stated. “You wouldn’t tell her who you were, drastic times call for drastic measures, right?” She let out another bark of laughter as Lexa punched her in the arm.
“Yeah, I know” She said, dejectedly. “I just didn’t expect it to happen like this, I wanted to be able to tell her in my own time. Anyway, she doesn’t want me as her soulmate, she made that pretty clear.”
“Bullshit, Lex! The way you guys have been talking all these years she definitely has feelings for you, she was probably just shocked.” Anya tried to reason with her, Lexa never thought straight when it came to Clarke.
“I dunno. I’m not gonna bother her anyway, she doesn’t want to see me.” Lexa said as she rose from the metal seat. “Come on we’ve got class.” With that both girls made their way back towards the school, Lexa deep in thought.
Clarke avoided Lexa all week, turning the other way when she saw her in the hallway and avoiding going to her locker at all costs. She’d told Raven and Octavia the next day about who her soulmate was. They both laughed at her for ages as Clarke groaned and put her head in her hands. She spent the first couple of days trying to make sense of the situation. She had to admit she had started to miss the daily messages on her arm, they always gave her a reason to smile.
She was sat in class drawing in her note book. She started thinking about Lexa and the times they’d spoken. It was very rarely that her and Lexa spoke, they mostly had glared at each other from across the room.
It had gotten worse about halfway through freshman year; she’d just started dating Finn. Lexa would shove her as she got to her locker and shout at her if Clarke looked her way. Clarke would call her an “arse” and walk away. Lexa hated her, how could the same girl be her soulmate? She knew she loved her soulmate and she knew she hated Lexa Woods. Clarke screamed internally and banged her head on the desk. This was ridiculous. How could she simultaneously love and hate the same person?
On Saturday, Octavia and Raven had bounded into her room and dragged her to the mall.
“Come on, Clarke! Shopping will help, I promise.” Octavia pleaded.
An hour later they were sat in the food court, eating fries and laughing as Raven talked about her latest chemistry project.
Just as Clarke placed a fry in her mouth she spotted her. Lexa. She was walking in their direction, with a pretty brunette by her side. Clarke’s gut wrenched when she saw the girls. “Fuck!” Clarke exclaimed, hiding behind Octavia.
“What?” Raven asked, frantically looking around expecting to see Finn, instead she spotted Lexa. “Oh, shit! Come on, let’s go.” Raven grabbed their bags and walked in the opposite direction Lexa was coming from, Clarke and Octavia quickly followed suit.
They were sat watching a film at Clarke’s house, when Octavia spoke, “You can’t deny she’s attractive Clarke, I saw the way looked at her” Octavia said with a smirk.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! She is definitely not attractive.” Clarke huffed, shoving popcorn in her mouth and turning the volume up on the TV. Raven and Octavia glanced at each other, a similar smirk resting on both of their faces.
2 weeks later
Clarke still can’t wrap her head around the fact that Lexa was her soulmate, but she did know she missed her. When she realised she missed Lexa she’d felt a strange tug in her chest. She missed talking to her soulmate when she was alone, the girl always made her feel happier. She even missed seeing Lexa in the hallways at school. This had shocked her the most, her memories of her soulmate and Lexa were blurring into one the more she thought about it.
Ever since that day 3 weeks ago Clarke had received no daily message from her soulmate telling her she looked beautiful or that she was jealous of the boys that had gotten to hold her close and call her theirs. She missed her soulmate.
She’d barely seen Lexa around school since that day, she was clearly avoiding her. Not that Clarke would have known what to say to her if she did see her.
She sat down in History class, staring at her arm, willing words to appear there. Sighing she gave in, she had waited for 3 weeks for Lexa to write on her arm and nothing. She was fed up of waiting. Clarke grabbed her pen from the desk and wrote 3 words on her arm.
I miss you.
At that moment there was a knock on the classroom door and in walked Principle Jaha with Lexa trailing lazily behind. Jaha whispered something to the teacher and pointed towards the girl who staring down at her clothed forearm.
Clarke watched in silence, drinking her in. Of course she had noticed that Lexa was attractive. She’d denied it when Octavia questioned her because she hated that she found Lexa attractive, it made all of this so much harder. Clarke felt her breath hitch as Lexa’s eyes raised and met her own. What was happening to her, this is ridiculous.
The teacher told Lexa to find a seat and returned to the lesson. Lexa searched the room for a seat, finding the only seat was in front of Clarke. Sighing audibly, she dragged her feet and plopped herself in the seat. Clarke stared at the back of Lexa’s head, wondering if she was going to look at the writing she had left on the girl’s arm.
After a few minutes Lexa shrugged her jacket off, placing in on the back of her chair. She turned her body in the process and found Clarke watching her. She looked at Clarke’s arm and followed it until she met her eyes. So blue, Lexa thought. Shaking her head, she turned back around, her hand resting on her left forearm where she knew words had appeared 5 minutes before. She removed her hand to read the words, shocked to find what was written.
I miss you.
Slowly she traced the words, letter by letter, as if they would fade if she looked away she stared at the words of her soulmate until the bell rang.
Lexa slowly packed her things as the rest of the class filed out of the room. As she turned around to grab her jacket she noticed Clarke stood there, watching her. Their eyes meet, blue and green moulding together, so enrapt neither wanted to look away.
The second bell rang, causing both girls to jump. Lexa tore her eyes from Clarke’s, quickly grabbing her things and rushing from the room.
Lexa sat under a tree at the back of the school’s field, she hadn’t felt like going to her next class. She was thoroughly confused by Clarke, she’s an enigma. She traced the lines on her forearm for the hundredth time, smiling. She reached for the pen in her jeans pocket and replied to her message, slowly writing each letter on her arm, directly underneath Clarke’s.
I miss you too.
Lexa sighed, closed her eyes and rested her head on the trunk of the tree, her head swimming with thoughts. She heard the bell ring signalling lunch, but didn’t move. Her friends knew where she goes at lunch, there was no need to go and find anyone. She heard the shuffling of feet across the grass, presuming it was Anya she didn’t open her eyes. She felt the girl drop down next her, no saying a word.
Lexa felt a hand run across her arm, that’s weird, why would Anya do that? She opened her eyes slowly and watched the offending fingers trace the words on her arm. She didn’t recognise the hand. Her flicked up to meet the person’s gaze, green meeting blue for the second time that day. A shy smile spread across the blonde haired girls face, she looked nervous.
“Hi” Clarke whispered, her head bowing and a blush creeping across her cheeks. The girl’s fingers were resting on Lexa arm, slowly rubbing circles across the ink that lay there.
“I’m sorry.” Clarke interrupted the silence. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, I was shocked, but I’m sorry.”
Lexa studied the girl as she spoke, the way her lips produced the words, the way her eyes searched Lexa face. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Lexa spoke, her eyes looked down to her lap, she fiddled with a loose thread at the bottom of her t-shirt.
Clarke chuckled and Lexa’s eyes flicked back to hers. “Well I did draw a dick on your forehead. Well Raven did, but I suppose I let her, so I’m sorry. I’m glad I found you though”
“You are?” She questioned, looking for any hint of a lie on the other girls face, she didn’t find one.
“Yeah. I know we’ve never got along, but we did when we wrote. I’ve missed it. I’ve missed you.” Clarke confessed shyly. Just as Lexa was going to reply they are interrupted by Clarke’s phone ringing, causing her to quickly retract her hand that had been resting on Lexa’s arm and mouth a quick ‘sorry’ before pressing the phone to her ear.
“Hey. No I’m fine. Not hungry. On the field. NO! No, I’m fine, I just. I’m busy. None of your business. Shut up. I’m hanging up now. Bye!” Clarke let out an exasperated sigh and shoved her phone back into her pocket before meeting Lexa’s questioning gaze. “Raven. I should probably go. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I’ll see you around, I guess.” Clarke said, beginning to get up.
“No!” Lexa said quickly, grabbing Clarke’s arm. Their eyes meeting again. “I mean, you don’t have to, I want you here” Clarke’s face broke into a grin as she settled back into her previous position next to Lexa.
They sat there, watching the boys play football across the field, not saying a word, both too afraid to break the peaceful silence. Lexa turned her head, taking in Clarke’s features. She let out a sigh and opened her mouth to speak but no words formed. She closed her mouth and shook her head and tried again.
“How are things with your mom, Clarke? Is it any better?”
“Um, not really.” Clarke answered, her head lowering, refusing to meet the girl’s gaze. Lexa reached for her hand and entwined their fingers. “She’s not been home much. She still gets angry if I go out though.”
“Did I ever tell you what my brother did to try an impress that girl in the summer?” Lexa said with a laugh.
Clarke’s eyes met hers. “No, I don’t think so”
“Well. There was this girl and he’d spent the first week of our holiday just staring at her, so I told him to stop being a pussy and talk to her. He looked at me like I was insane. Anyway, the girl had been playing Frisbee, I think, and managed to get it stuck in the tree. So, Lincoln being the idiot he is went over to help get it back. He climbed into the tree, but he’s afraid of heights. He struggled for like 10 minutes trying to retrieve the fucking thing. He reached it eventually, but when he did he threw his arms up in like, celebration. Then the moron fell out of the fucking tree! It was hilarious! I’m sad I didn’t get it on camera. He fell right at her feet into the sand, hand raised with the Frisbee in it. And the girl, she was laughing her head off, she grabbed the thing and ran off to her friends. He hates it when I remind him.”
Clarke was smiling broadly and chuckling at the way Lexa was telling her story. Lexa grinned at Clarke, happy that she made the girl smile.
“Thank you, you’ve always known what to do to make it better.” Clarke said, their eyes meeting one another’s once again.
“You’re very welcome. Do you want half my sandwich?” She asked reaching into her bag and handing Clarke a half.
“No, it’s ok, you eat it.” Clarke replied, shaking her head.
“You need to eat, Clarke.” She chastised. “You’ve got practice later.” Clarke grinned at her again. How had she not realised that Lexa was so sweet before.
“Fine!” She rolled her eyes and took a bite of the sandwich.
The rest of the week followed with the same routine for the girls. They would meet under the tree after the bell rang and shared their lunch, getting to know each other as Clarke and Lexa. They would tell each other about their summers and Lexa would tell her all about the stupid things Lincoln had done.
On the following Monday when they were busy eating the sandwiches that Lexa had brought, Clarke was fidgeting.
“Are you ok, Clarke?”
“Um, yes. Fine. Yeah.” Clarke stumbled over her words, which made Lexa raise an eyebrow at her. “Fine! I’m not.” She settled.
“What’s wrong?” Lexa questioned, setting her sandwich down and resting her hand on Clarke’s leg. Clarke turned her head and mumbled something she couldn’t hear. “What? I didn’t catch that.”
“Finn. He asked me out.” Clarke said slowly, looking at Lexa with a small smile.
“Oh” Lexa removed her hand from Clarke’s leg. She knew all about Clarke’s past relationship with Finn, that she had been in love with him. “Um, I just remembered I have to go… pee.” Grabbing her things quickly, Lexa rose and hurried off of the field back towards the main building.
“LEXA! WAIT!” Clarke shouted, hurrying to grab her bag and running off after the girl. When she caught up she grabbed her hand and yanked Lexa to turn around.
“WHAT!” Lexa yelled, the old scowl forming on her face. Clarke faltered and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted. “Let go, Clarke.” Lexa growled, pulling her hand from the girl’s grasp. “Enjoy your date.” She mumbled as she walked away again.
Clarke watched her walk away, her eyes filling slightly. She shook her head. What the hell had just happened? Why had Lexa gone back to being the other Lexa, the one that hated her. She wanted to tell Lexa how she finally manged to say no to the boy, she’d never managed to before. She had loved Finn and they had dated for 2 years, but 6 months ago Finn had broken up with her telling her he’d been cheating on her since they started going out. Clarke had been heart broken, she’d told her soulmate all about it. But every time Finn had come back to her asking for another chance she’d accepted, this had happened 3 times in the past 6 months. And every time Finn had just used her for sex, breaking it off again as he would pick his shirt up from Clarke’s floor.
The bell rang to signal the start of lessons again and Clarke dragged herself to her next lesson. She sat not listening to the teacher and wrote on her arm trying to get Lexa to respond, she failed. When the final bell rang she hadn’t managed to get Lexa to reply or find her during their afternoon break. She grabbed her things and made her way to Raven’s car for a lift home.
“Hey” Raven announced her presence. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, can we just go?” Clarke said climbing into the passenger side. They drove in silence until they reached Clarke’s house and Raven turned to Clarke.
“Tell me.” She demanded. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” Clarke mumbled, reaching for the door handle. Raven grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back into the seat.
“Clarke, what happened today? You’ve been really happy this week, what changed?”
“I don’t know ok?” Clarke huffed and Raven looked at her prompting her to continue. “You know Finn asked me out again, right?” Raven nodded with a grimace, she hated how Clarke kept going back to him. “Well I told him no and I was so happy I managed to finally tell him no, that I wanted to tell Lexa. Anyway, I told her that he asked me out and before I could tell her I said no, she stormed off.”
“Well, did you go after her?”
“Yeah, but she shouted and she just looked so mad, Rae. It was like the old Lexa. When she’d yell at me for looking at her, she hasn’t done that in ages. I just don’t get it!”
“When did that stop, the yelling I mean?” Raven questioned, a thought crossing her mind.
“Um, I dunno, it’s been a while. Maybe like 6 months, or something”
“You mean when Finn broke up with you?”
“Oh” A look of understanding crossing the girl’s face.
“Come on, let’s go eat pizza and watch some shitty TV, we can deal with Lexa tomorrow.”
Lexa had had an awful night. She’d left school after lunch and headed for the pub. She knew the owner and he never refused to serve her, even though she was only 17. She’d left the bar at 1 the next morning and woke up on the couch with a banging headache.
She didn’t want to be in school, but she knew she couldn’t skip today as well, it wouldn’t go unnoticed if she did.
She opened he locker to retrieve her books when a hand slammed into her shoulder, pushing her back into the locker. An angry Raven was staring up at her.
“Get your head out of your arse, Woods.” Raven spat.
“Mind your own business, Reyes.” Lexa warned, she knew what the girl was referring to, she was Clarke’s best friend. “I’ve got a killer headache; I don’t have to deal with this today!”
“Yes you do! Fix it, now! Or I’ll show you just how good I am with chemicals” Raven shoved her shoulder back into the locker and walked down the hallway.
“Fuck sake!” She sighed, slamming her locker shut. She cringed at the sound and rubbed her forehead. The bell rang and she cringed again. Today was going to be a bad one. She made her way to History class and slumped into her seat, head hitting the desk.
She could feel Clarke’s eyes burning into the back of her head. She grabbed her pen and scribbled on her arm.
Stop.
She needed her to stop staring at her, it made her feel even more miserable.
What?
She felt the reply forming on her arm and watched the word appear.
You’re staring
After 5 minutes, there was no reply from Clarke, it made her feel uncomfortable. The teacher had left the room to grab some work sheets or something. Lexa wasn’t listening, but when the door closed she lifted her head and turned to the girl behind her.
Clarke was staring at her, her eyes roaming over Lexa’s face.
“Sorry” Lexa mumbled, her eyes cast down watching Clarke fiddle with her pen. “Can we meet for lunch still?” She asked, still not looking at her. Clarke found this odd, Lexa looked so nervous, she’d never seen her like this before. A small smile creeped onto Clarke’s face, she was still mad at Lexa for running away, but it was a start.
“Yes, but you better have sandwiches, I didn’t bring any.” Clarke said with a slight chuckle. Lexa nodded her head and turned back around as the teacher came back into class.
Lexa had been sat at the tree at the back of the field for 15 minutes and still no sign of Clarke. She was worried now that she wasn’t going to come. She’d really messed up this time. She closed her eyes and lay on the grass, shielding her eyes from the harsh sun. After another 10 minutes Lexa heard movement and peaked one eye open to be met with a smiling Clarke looking down at her. She sat up and lent against the tree and gestured for Clarke to sit next to her.
Clarke chuckled “You look like shit!”
“Thanks. Feel even worse.” Lexa said with a frown, reaching into her bag she grabbed her sandwich and passed it to Clarke.
“Don’t you want some? You need to eat, Lexa.” she mimicked Lexa previous statement with a smile.
“Think I’ll throw it back up anyway, so no thanks.”
Clarke grimaced. “Lovely. Rough night?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You can date whoever you want. I had no right to be mad.” Lexa’s eyes raised to meet the deep blue of Clarke’s, she was gone. She felt like she could drown in her eyes. There was an all too familiar pull in her chest.
“You’re right you shouldn’t have yelled, but you do have a right. You’re my soulmate Lexa. I’d be mad if you went out with someone else.”
“You would?” Lexa had never felt like this before, there were butterflies in her stomach as Clarke spoke.
“Yes.” Clarke stated. “I said no, in case you were wondering. I finally managed to say no to him.”
Lexa’s face broke into a wide grin and she pulled Clarke into a fierce hug. “I’m so proud of you! He never deserved you!” Lexa said, burying her head in the crook of Clarke’s neck, breathing in her scent. She smelt like flowers and paint and home.
“That’s what I wanted to tell you yesterday, but you ran off.” Clarke spoke her words into Lexa’s neck, her breath causing goose bumps to appear and a slight shiver ran down Lexa’s spine.
“I’m an idiot!” Lexa mumbled.
She felt Clarke smile into her neck. “Yes you are!”
Lexa pulled back with a smile, smacking Clarke lightly on the arm, “Hey”
“Not my fault it’s true.” Clarke laughed, taking a bite out of her sandwich. “What happened to you yesterday, I couldn’t find you?”
“Um, I, um. I went to the pub.” Lexa fiddled with her t-shirt, eyes cast towards the grass.
“See. Idiot!” Clarke laughed, flicking Lexa in the head.
“Ow!” Lexa glared at her. “I’ve already got a headache, no need to make it worse.” Clarke just stuck her tongue out at her and pulled Lexa’s head to rest on her shoulder. She gently ran her fingers aver Lexa’s scalp, revelling in the feeling of having the girl so close to her.
They stayed like this for a while, neither wanting to move.
“I was so wrong about you.” Clarke broke the silence and Lexa raised her head with a questioning look across her features. “I hated you for so long and I’m not even sure why. I wish I had gotten to know you when you first moved here.” Clarke felt Lexa’s hand slip into the hand that wasn’t currently running through her hair.
“Me too. I figured it out when you started dating Finn. I guess finding out my soulmate was in love with some else made me kind of mad, but finding out it was you too. I couldn’t deal with it, so I took it out on you. That’s why I was so mean to you.” Lexa explained, head still resting on Clarke’s shoulder. “When you broke up, I wanted to do anything to make you feel better, so I started the morning messages, but I didn’t want you to be mad that it was me because you hated me.”
“You stopped shouting at me when I bumped into you and stuff though.”
“I guess I was jealous of Finn. It made me mad when I saw you, I didn’t realise I was jealous until afterwards. That’s why I yelled yesterday. I’m sorry. I couldn’t deal with the thought of having to see him all over you again, it was hard enough the first time.” Lexa’s last few words came out in barely a whisper and a blush formed on her cheeks.
She felt Clarke’s head turn and lips press to the top of her head. The butterflies in her stomach got worse and she felt her ears burn.
“It’s ok, I get it. I’m not happy you did it, but I forgive you.”
They fell silent, Clarke’s hand rubbing small circles on Lexa’s upper arm and Lexa playing with the fingers on Clarke’s other hand.
“Why did you do it? Why did you get drunk last night?” Clarke questioned.
“I- I kept picturing you with him. I wanted it to stop. I thought a drink would take the edge off, but I could still see it. So I drowned it out, the more I drunk, the less I could see. It was stupid. I should have just talked to you.”
“Yeah, you should have. Promise me next time you’ll talk to me. I don’t want to lose you Lexa. You’re my best friend.”
“I promise.” Hearing the word friend, Lexa felt a tug deep in her chest. She could feel her eyes well up, she blinked to rid them. She wouldn’t cry in front of Clarke. She’d always knew that Clarke wouldn’t see her the same way, girls as beautiful as her don’t fall for people like Lexa.
The girls fell back into a steady routine. They’d share their lunch with each other under the shade of the tree, enjoying their time together before the bell rang for the afternoon lessons. It had been like this for a month.
“How has she not kissed you yet?” Raven proclaimed.
“I don’t know! Maybe she doesn’t like me like that. You’ve heard of that right? Soulmates that are just like, best friends.”
“Bullshit!” Raven yelled. “Have you seen the way she looks at you? Major hearteyes, I’m telling you. You know what I’m gonna have a party tomorrow and we’re gonna make it so she can’t resist you!” Raven grabbed her phone and sent out a message on to all their friends. “Make sure she comes, starts at 8.” Raven announced as she wandered off, down the hallway.
Lunchtime arrived and Clarke made her way to the field, seeing Lexa sat waiting with a sandwich in her lap, she grinned.
“Hey you!” Clarke settled next to her and reached to get her own sandwich out of her bag and swapped it with Lexa’s. Taking a bite, she turned to Lexa, who was sat watching her. “What?”
“Nothing.” Lexa mumbled, taking a bite of her lunch.
“You busy tomorrow night?” Clarke questioned, once they’d finished eating.
“No, don’t think so. Why?”
“Great. You’re coming to Raven’s party.”
“And why would I do that?” A smirk playing on Lexa’s lips.
“Because I’ll be there and they’ll be alcohol!” Clarke replied, a broad smile appearing on her face.
“Fine, if I have to.” She sighed, rolling her eyes in mock annoyance. Clarke pushed her shoulder and laughed, before reaching and entwining their fingers.
Lexa was sat in Maths when her arm began to tingle. She rolled her sleeve up and watched as a phone number appeared on her arm, along with the words.
So you can message me about the party tomorrow.
Lexa grinned and drew a big smiley face next to the writing, running her fingers over the it. She always loved Clarke’s writing, the way her letters would loop together and that it would get scruffier the more excited she was. She loved it even more when Clarke would draw. She’d always take a picture of the delicate drawings that would appear on her skin when Clarke was bored.
It was 7:30 on Saturday and Lexa was stressing. She’d put on several outfits and nothing looked right. Lincolns had come in and laughed at her as she frenzied. Finally, he threw some clothes at her with a sigh, “Here! Put these on, you always say you look great in flannel.”
Lexa sighed and went to change in the bathroom. “You’re coming, right? I don’t wanna end up on my own around all of Clarke’s friends.” She shouted through the door.
“Yeah sure, let me change my shirt.”
20 minutes later they were making the 15-minute walk to Raven’s house.
“Clarke quit fidgeting!” Raven scolded. “You look great; Lexa will be falling at your feet.” It had taken them an hour to find the perfect outfit for her. They’d settled on a light blue summer dress that matched her eyes. It showed off her cleavage and accentuated her curves, stopping mid-thigh to show off her legs. She had to admit, she did look great. She just hoped Lexa thought so too.
Lexa knocked on the front door of Raven’s house and adjusted her leather jacket. She could feel the music pumping from the house. When the door swung open Lexa’s jaw hit the floor. Clarke looked amazing. Lincoln nudged her, “You’re drooling”, he pushed passed her and Clarke into the house.
“You look breathtakingly beautiful Clarke” Lexa breathed out, her eyes raking over Clarke’s body.
“Thank you” Clarke blushed at the compliment and the way Lexa’s eyes darkened. “You look really pretty too.” She grabbed Lexa’s hand and pulled her towards the kitchen, pouring them both a drink.
More and more people arrived at the house and Clarke got pulled into the makeshift dance floor by her friends. Lexa stood talking with Lincoln in the corner of the kitchen. She hadn’t seen Clarke in a while and decided to go search for her. “I’ll be back in a bit, Linc” she said as she wandered off. 1 minute later Lexa came back with an angry look on her face. “Give me the house keys, I’m going home” she demanded.
Lincoln was confused, “What happened, Lex?”
“Nothing. Keys. Now.” He handed them over and she stormed towards the front door.
Clarke was sat on the coach in the living room when she saw Lexa storming out of the house. She scrambled up, the alcohol affecting her balance, and chased after Lexa down the driveway. She grabbed Lexa’s arm as she reached the bottom of the driveway.
“Lexa, wait! Where are you going?” She asked, confused.
“Home. I’m not feeling well” She said, looking at the floor.
“Lexa don’t lie to me; I can see right through you. What happened?”
“Well Clarke why don’t you tell me? You invited me to this party and you’ve barely spoken to me. Then I come to find you and you’re making out with that dickhead on the couch. I can deal with being your friend Clarke, but I can’t deal with that. I can’t deal with watching the person I’m in love with making out with someone else” Tears were running down Lexa’s face. “I’m sorry, Clarke, I can’t, I just can’t.” With that she turned and practically ran down the street.
Clarke had stood and watched as Lexa left, mouth agape. Lexa loved her, she actually loved her. Clarke bolted back into the house and searched for Lincoln. “Lincoln! What’s your address?” She yelled over the music that was blasting through the speakers. Lincoln quickly reeled off his address and laughed as she ran off.
It took Clarke 10 minutes to reach Lexa’s front door. She faltered as she raised her hand, but knocked loudly on the door. She heard shuffling behind the door and it finally swung open to reveal a tear streaked Lexa.
“You love me?” Clarke gasped out.
“Clarke, please. Don’t do this now” Lexa’s sad eyes looked towards the ground.
“Tell me, Lexa; Do you love me?” Clarke was desperate. Lexa raised her head, a sad look plastering her features and nodded slightly.
Before Lexa could move to close the door, Clarke lunged forward, grabbing the back of Lexa’s neck and brought their faces together, lips almost touching. Clarke’s eyes flicked up from where they were watching Lexa’s lips to her eyes, searching for permission.
Lexa could feel their breath mixing together, she could almost taste her. She was drowning under Clarke’s questioning gaze. She closed her eyes.
Clarke took this as her permission and closed the gap between the two. Lips finally meeting in a soft kiss.
Lexa saw fireworks from on her eye lids their lips met, moving her lips slowly against Clarke’s.
Clarke felt butterflies surge in her stomach, Lexa felt like home, she felt safe.
Clarke pulled back from the kiss ever so slightly, Lexa trying to chase her lips. She opened her eyes and found Lexa eyes staring back at her. A grin broke out on Clarke’s lips. “I love you too” she whispered through her smile.
Lexa’s eyebrows rose before her face went from a look of surprise to pure happiness and she smashed her lips to Clarke’s.
Their kiss was filled with I love you’s, both girls feeling happier than they ever had.
Clarke’s hand scraped across the back of Lexa’s neck, causing a moan to escape the girl’s lips. Lexa moved her hand to move along Clarke’s lower back, pulling her body until there was no gap between them.
Lexa shifted the position of the kiss, tilting her head to deepen it, her tongue running over Clarke’s lower lip. As their tongues met, Clarke’s hand moved to cup Lexa’s bum, squeezing slightly. Both girls let out a loud moan and Lexa moved to push Clarke against the door frame. Lexa’s leg slipped between Clarke’s, causing Clarke to grind down slowly onto Lexa’s muscular thigh. Their kiss was getting more and more heated, hands roaming and hips grinding.
A cough pulled the two apart with a jump. “Do you mind? You’re blocking the doorway.” Lincoln said with a hearty laugh and a smirk on his face.
“Fuck off!” Lexa exclaimed as she grabbed Clarke’s hand and rushed up the stairs towards her bedroom.
Clarke was resting on Lexa’s chest, listening to her heart beat as Lexa ran her fingers up and down her arm. “I love you” she whispered against Lexa’s skin.
“I love you too.” Lexa replied, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of Clarke’s head. “I’m sorry I ran again, I promised I wouldn’t do it and I did.”
Clarke could hear the emotion in Lexa’s voice and shifted on her chest so she could see her face.
“We were playing spin the bottle, it landed on me. I didn’t want to kiss him, I’d much rather kiss you” Clarke smirked, and brought their lips together for the hundredth time that night. Lexa pulled back and studied Clarke’s face, taking in every feature, as Clarke settled back down on her chest. She let out a sigh of content and snuggled further into Clarke letting herself drift off to sleep.
Lexa woke, her body spent and a smile on her lips. She rolled over only to find an empty bed and her smile dropped. The bed beside her was cold, Clarke was gone. A tear escaped her eyes. Had Clarke regretted it, did she realised she wasn’t worth, that she could do better. She began to sob, hugging the pillow that smelt of the girl she loved.
A few minutes later the door to Lexa’s bedroom opened, she didn’t look up but growled “Go way!” at the intruder.
“Not exactly how I wanted to be greeted but I guess you’re not a morning person” Clarke laughed as she set the tray she way holding on the bedside table. Lexa’s head whipped up at the sound of her voice and saw Clarke stood next to her bed, wearing one of her old football jerseys, with a big smile on her face. Clarke’s smile turned to a frown as she saw that Lexa’s eyes were puffy, red and filled with tears. “Hey, What’s wrong?” Clarke asked as she sat down next to her and ran her fingers through her hair.
Lexa threw her head back into the pillow she was holding and Clarke heard a muffled “Stupid, so stupid.”
“Hey, babe, what’s wrong?” Clarke asked again, tucking Lexa’s hair behind her ear and stroking her thumb across her jaw.
Lexa lifted her head from the pillow, eyes racking over Clarke’s concerned face. “I thought you’d gone.” Lexa watched the look on Clarke’s face change.
“Awh, babe” Clarke laughed, kissing Lexa lightly. “I’m not going anywhere.” Clarke’s voice was firm, trying to make sure Lexa understood. “Now move over, I made breakfast” She said giving Lexa’s shoulder a shove and climbing back into the bed.
Lexa pulled herself up leaning against the headboard, sheets pooling in her lap. Clarke pulled the breakfast try into her lap and opened her mouth to speak, shutting it as she looked over at Lexa.
Lexa watched as Clarke’s eyes widened in shock and then darkened in desire. Eyes raked over her stomach and breasts, which were littered in small bruises that Clarke had proudly left mere hours ago. A smirked formed on Lexa’s lips as she watched Clarke lick her lips.
“See something you like?” Lexa laughed reaching over to grab a piece of toast from Clarke’s lap, taking a bite.
Clarke moved her gaze upwards to meet Lexa’s and saw the satisfied smirk gracing her face, “Put a shirt on, dick”, rolling her eyes.
Lexa laughed, climbing out of bed and walking towards her chest of draws to find a shirt. She made sure to swing her hips as she went, bending over to retrieve a t-shirt from the bottom draw. She heard Clarke gulp from behind her, her smirk firmly fixed on her face again. She turned towards Clarke and clenched her stomach muscles as she pulled her shirt over her head, covering herself. Clarke’s jaw dropped, she coughed trying to recover, licking her lips, her mouth was suddenly very dry.
Lexa climbed back into the bed retrieving a piece of toast, laughing slightly as Clarke watch her every movement, pupils blown. “You ok over there?” She smirked.
“You did that on purpose” Clarke whined, her bottom lip jutting out into a pout.
“What? You asked me to put a shirt on” feigning innocence.
“I didn’t mean- You didn’t have to…” Clarke was struggling for words, “you didn’t have to do that” she settled on, gesturing towards the chest of draws. Lexa just laughed at her, continuing to eat her toast, as Clarke’s face flushed pink. Clarke pushed Lexa, nearly knocking her out of the bed, “you’re a dick”.
“Yeah, but you love me” she said batting her eyelashes at her.
“Don’t know why” Clarke mumbled into her cup of coffee.
“Don’t be like that” Lexa pouted, “I’m sorry” she reached for the tray and moved it to the floor, grabbing Clarke’s mug and doing the same before rolling on top of her. Lexa sat on her thighs, running her thumb across full lips until bright blue eyes met hers.
Clarke ran her palms over the smooth skin of Lexa’s thighs, “I hate you” she commented.
“Really?” Lexa asked as she dipped her head to press a kiss to Clarke’s pulse point and running her hand down to her breast, nipple hardening as her hand made contact.
“Uh huh” Clarke responded, not trusting herself to form coherent words. Her hands were still resting on Lexa’s hips; she was determined not to give her the satisfaction of knowing she’d won.
Lexa tweaked her nipple through her shirt and grazed her teeth over the pounding pulse in Clarke’s neck. She felt Clarke suppress a moan and smile into her neck. She knew she’d won.
Clarke closed her eyes trying to keep herself together, when suddenly the weight in her lap disappeared as did the hand on her breast and the mouth on her neck. With a dissatisfied moan she opened her eyes and turned to where Lexa was walking towards the door.
Lexa looked over her shoulder, throwing a smirk at Clarke, “I’m going to shower” she announced and closed the door.
Clarke groaned and shouted “I hate you!” at the closed door. She heard Lexa laugh in response.
Lexa was halfway through her shower when her arm began to tingle.
I’m heading home. My mom will be home soon. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Lexa sighed slightly, she had wanted to spend more time with Clarke before she left, but she knew Clarke’s mom would be mad if she wasn’t there when she got home. Her arm began to tingle again, she watched the letter appear on her arm.
Oh, and I hate you.
Lexa laughed and continued washing her hair. She was so in love, she loved how Clarke made her feel. She was almost glad Raven had drawn a dick on Clarke’s forehead. Almost.
20 minutes later she saw the words on her arm disappear. Clarke must be in the shower. Lexa grabbed a pen from her desk, intent on making Clarke squirm some more. She settled on something else instead.
I miss you. Can I pick you up tomorrow for school?
Clarke felt the tingling on her arm suggesting Lexa was writing something. She looked down watching the words form. A wide smile broke out reading the words in Lexa’s delicate handwriting. She spent the rest of her shower singing, she was finally, actually happy.
As soon as she got out of the shower she went to find a pen.
8:30. I miss you too.