Chapter Text
Alec is frustrated at everything.
Especially at Magnus.
In the past two months that they have been together, Magnus has been so kind, so patient. He doesn’t force Alec to do anything that Alec doesn’t want to do, and he tells him how beautiful Alec is every chance he can get. Alec is pretty sure by now that he’s suffering from long term head trauma because of all the blood rushing to his head from how much he has been blushing.
And Magnus has just been so… perfect. Alec really doesn’t understand why Magnus is with him. He stutters too much and doesn’t know how to properly show affection. Magnus just gives and gives and gives, and all Alec can do is fucking stutter through his smile and wish he was a better boyfriend.
Alec is just endlessly frustrated. Because Magnus is too perfect and deserves everything good in the world, and Alec has given him almost nothing, besides the occasional compliment..
That’s going to change.
-
Alec is standing outside of Clary’s door, regretting everything that has lead up to this moment.
It was Magnus’s birthday in a couple of weeks, and while Magnus doesn’t really want to make a big deal of it (‘darling, I’ve had over three hundred birthdays. What’s the purpose of one more?’) but Alec wants to go all out.
He knows that Magnus loves the things he acquired over the years, and it’s why he’s kept journals that dates back at least two centuries ago. He keeps the trinkets from old friends and the ones that he just gets- necklaces and record players and just a little bit of everything. He wants to remember his history. Alec knows this because Magnus has it around his loft, some small things and some big things from every era decorate every inch of his apartment, and he knows that Magnus will like the present that Alec thinks of because it’s Magnus’s history. He remembers the talk they had last week about how he loves collecting things from his past, but there are some things he wished he could get that the institute had, well, ‘gathered’ other the years. The melancholy look that Magnus had over his lost tokens broke Alec, and he knew what his first present would be to give to Magnus.
Which is why he stands here in front of Clary’s door, wanting to never do this. He has to though, because Jace would just tease him relentlessly for being a sappy romantic and Izzy would make innuendos for what type of ‘presents’ he should get Magnus. Clary would actually help him with this without mocking him, much.
He waits another second before knocking, and he hears the click of her shoes and then her door opens.
“Um, hi Alec? Is everything okay?” She asks, surprised as to why he is in front of her door.
“Yes, everything is fine. I need to ask you… something. A favor.” He winces at how awkward his voice sounds, but he pushes through it.
“What do you need?”
“I wanted to… I wanted to do something for Magnus. For his birthday. I was wondering if you could, um, help me?”
She beams at him then, looking at Alec with excitement in her eyes. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, I wanted to give him all the things that the institute took. Do you think you could help me get anything that belonged to him down in the archives?” He asks, his apprehensiveness growing.
“I can do that, yeah, let me just grab my phone.” She goes to her bed to grab it, and then they set off to go the institute archives.
—
“Pft, you guys really need to clean this place once in awhile,” Clary says as she coughs at the dust that flew everywhere. They’ve gone through a third of it, and Alec is inclined to agree. This place is a dust bowl.
“Don’t blame me. I don’t think shadowhunters really care about all of their paper files when everything is computerized now.” Alec defends, trifling through some more boxes.
They had found little things, like messages and some notes from him on the demon hunts at the time, but other than that they haven’t found anything that Alec thinks Magnus would want. Alec realizes that this might takr longer than he thought.
“Hey Alec, come look at this,” Clary gestures him to come over, and when he looks at what she’s holding he freezes.
It must have been the 20’s, with the way he looks. His suit fits him so well. His face is makeup free, but that’s not really what catches his attention.
He’s smiling. A carefree, loving smile, the one that Alec has only seen a couple of times in the past two months. He’s dancing. The girl he’s twirling is not facing the camera, but the way he looks so free and happy has Alec’s heart clenching in his chest. Alec takes the delicate picture in his hands, and the edges of the picture are frayed— he's afraid that if he holds it too tight it might crumble. It’s an old sepia photo, and he doesn’t know who took or or where it was taken but he doesn’t care. It’s Magnus, happy and carefree. Magnus is glowing, having a sort of angelic aura around him, like nothing could affect him. Something that he hasn’t been in a while, probably not since this picture was taken, and suddenly Alec is furious.
Magnus, one who gives his love so freely and wants to be happy, has been crushed again and again by shadowhunters. They stole from him, degraded him, and treated him like he was nothing. The fact that they had the audacity to ask him to do favors, like put up wards and heal them and defend them, after they treated him like shit— Alec wonders why hasn’t told any of them to leave him alone.
“.... Alec? Are you okay?” Clary carefully speaks, interrupting Alec’s train of thought. He turns to her, seeing her concern span across her face.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s keep looking.” Alec replies, breathing in deep into his lungs.
They go back to looking, but Alec still has rage burning low under everything else. He is going to give Magnus the best damn birthday he can.
-
Alec walks into Magnus’s apartment, and he sees Magnus round the corner into the living room. He smiles at Alec, beginning to speak to him, but before he could Alec crashes his lips against Magnus's.
Magnus lets out a surprised noise, but immediately returns it with equal fervor. Alec tries, really tries to convey all the feelings he has for Magnus at this moment, telling him what all his words can’t. Their mouths slot together, and Magnus is breathing hard through his nose— Alec is the same. Alec pushes back until Magnus hits the wall, not hard enough to actually hurt him. His hands travel to Magnus’s cheeks, cradling them, and he loves the contrast of the tender gesture to the hard kiss.
Alec lets his tongue run over Magnus’s bottom lip, and Magnus opens to Alec, giving him control. Alec delves into his mouth, exploring what he already has before. His breathing is harsh, and he feels Magnus’s grip on his waist, wanting him closer. Alec wants to show what Magnus means to him, what Alec is better at saying through his actions. He needs Magnus to know.
He stops the kiss for a second, catching his breath. He moves to Magnus’s cheek and plants a kiss, then to his other one, and then to his nose and jaw and everywhere else on Magnus’s face.
Magnus kind of giggles, it’s a small one, but Alec is grinning because it’s adorable and Alec cherishes it. He kisses him again, slow and sweet, still smiling. He keeps doing that, until the kisses space out. They eventually just stop, breathing slowly with their foreheads pressed together— Alec still having the grin on his face.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought this on, darling?” Magnus asks after a beat, opening his eyes to look Alec.
Alec leans back, looking at Magnus. Really looking at him. At his eyes, how they shine with or without his glamour. At his lips, raw and red from the kiss. His nose, his cheeks, the little crinkle around Magnus’s eyes from smiling. Alec can’t get enough.
“I just… I wanted... I’m sorry,” Alec finally says, but Magnus looks at him, confused.
“I- I know that, well, that the shadowhunters have treated you terribly, even before Valentine. They treated you like you were nothing, and I’m so sorry for that. I know it doesn’t make up for what they did, and that it doesn’t even compare, but I’m sorry.”
Magnus face twists into something that Alec can’t place. It has sadness and fondness and something he can’t name, but it strikes somewhere deep that Alec goes back to cradle his cheeks again.
“Alexander,” is all Magnus says, and Alec swears he sees a tear or two but then Magnus brings him closer, hugging him tightly.
They stay like that, Alec holding Magnus as Magnus squeezes the life out of him. They could have been standing there for minutes or hours, but Alec didn’t care. Because Magnus needs to know.
“You’re better than all of them,” Alec whispers into his ear, and Magnus shivers, huddling closer. Alec is pretty sure that one of his ribs might break from how hard Magnus is squeezing him, but he would endure it all if it meant Magnus understands how important he is.
“Thank you,” Magnus mumbles, Alec’s shirt muffling most of it. Alec just kisses his forehead, conveying his emotions through the kiss.
Yeah, Alec is determined to give everything Magnus deserves. Happiness.