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“It’s such a cute little thing, ain’t it?” Tenna hummed, rubbing a thumb over the little blue egg. “Just too bad it isn’t, haha, alive. I mean, imagine that…”
“Whaddya mean [Cathode]? It’s [[100% Guaranteed]] alive.”
Tenna sat up a bit, his soft smile flattening into a thin line as he looked up at Spamton- who seemed completely unphased, -and said, “it’s alive ? Really? But it’s just an egg… and you don’t seem too protective over it if that’s the case!”
“Yeah, yeah, but I can [[Make It Or Break It]] as many as I want,” Spamton mumbled something under his breath in between, “so it doesn't really [matter’o’fact], ah?”
Tenna, still with that same thin line of an expression, picked the little pipis up into his arms and cradled it. He hummed, petting the egg, and went on, “do you not feel… care for it, Spam? You made something and it’s alive , you know?”
“Oh, jeez! If ya like it so much why don’t ya keep it?” Spamton laughed out. “Once it hatches it only lives for, what, a few days? Or until ya use it’s healin’ ability and it just… disappears. It’s not even a cute thing, Ant, just a mini version of me. You really want to feel paternal over that?”
The CRT frowned, and Spamton rolled his eyes. Tenna spoke, “how d’you know it’s alive? I mean, it’s cold… and it’s so still all the time.”
“There’s all kinds of signs,” Spamton explained. “I mean, the ones ya eat? They’re soft, edible. The attack ones are huge, light- buzzin’ with energy. Dead ones are small n’ quiet. And alive ones like that are big, hard, and chirp.”
“I guess it is pretty big, and the shell is hard- did you say chirp ?” Tenna said, looking up at Spamton in surprise as it set in. The salesman shrugged his shoulders and said nonchalantly, “yeah, chirp. Jeez, Ant, have ya never talked to an Addison before?”
“I’ve talked to you ,” Tenna said, but it wasn’t defeated, and more accusatory. Spamton scoffed, “okay, m’not the best example of [[Not Your Typical]] Ad, but we all share this at least!”
“Whatever, Spam! Explain to me what you mean- she chirps?” Tenna pushed. Spamton cringed, “‘she’?”
“Spamton!” Tenna exasperatedly said. “Explain!”
“Alright, alright! Jeez…” Spamton brushed back his hair, sitting back a little more comfortably, and explained, “it’s somethin’ Addisons do to [COMMUNICATE] with their [[sweet offspring]] before they hatch. Ads grow quick, y’know, and they learn most of their [bits n’ bobs] through the chirping- cuz it ain’t just chirpin’, y’know, it’s messaging and data and all that [[BOOORINGGG]] stuff. Now, I ain’t gotta do none of that, perk of being wired differently- and better, [IMO]. So it’s just… boring old chirpin’.”
“Can you show me?” Tenna asked all too excitedly.
“Seriously?” Spamton said exasperatedly. Looking at Tenna’s puppy-dog expression, his antennae shot up excitedly, and the admittedly gentle care he’d given the pipis, Spamton eventually sighed and said, “fine. Fine! Don’t annoy me about it if it don’t work, I’m not exactly [Get a Licensed Practitioner Today!] at doing this anymore.”
Tenna didn’t say much, far too invested in what was about to happen, staying quiet so he could hear even the faintest sound. Spamton took a deep breath, and chirped. It wasn’t really what Tenna was expecting, that being one of a chirping bird. It was a click, a coo, a hoot, layered on top of each other. A fascinating sound.
But no response.
“Ah, guess I’m too out of practice-” Spamton said dismissively, only for Tenna to shove the pipis into his arms and exclaim, “try again! Maybe if you hold her, it’ll work?”
Spamton blinked at Tenna, and as much as he wanted to roll his eyes again and frown at the desperation of the CRT, it was kind of… silly. Cute. Weird, but cute.
“If I hold her , right,” Spamton spoke slowly. He really, really didn’t want to let Tenna’s weird broody behaviour infect him right now. But just doing the chirping kind of set that internal bell off. He’d always been better at detaching from his pipis, though, so he pushed it down.
He chirped again.
The egg stayed quiet. He chirped again, and again, and then once more, and-
“HOLY SMOKES! Did you hear that?!” Tenna yelped excitedly, leaning in closer to Spamton and the pipis. Spamton rolled his eyes hard and muttered, “I think I would’ve if you didn’t start shoutin’.”
“Agh! Sorry! Please, continue,” Tenna said quietly, and Spamton let out a little laugh. He chirped again, and waited.
And waited.
Waited a little more…
“Chip!”
“Aha! Knew I still had it in me,” Spamton said to himself. He rubbed his palm over the egg, grinning to himself, and then handed it over to Tenna. “That [[sweet satisfaction]] ya, Ant?”
“More than you know! Oh, she’s so adorable!” Tenna pulled the pipis close to himself, then brought his attention to Spamton. “Hey, do you think she’d chirp for me if I tried?”
Spamton grimaced, saying, “gee, I dunno if other Darkners can hit it, y’know? Being an [Buy! Buy! Buy!] thing.” He thought about it a little more, then shrugged. “Ah, try it, why the [H-E-Double Hockey Sticks] not? Best outcome, it works. Worst outcome, it doesn’t.”
Tenna honest to god giggled like a child then, rubbing the fuzzy static of his screen against the pipis adoringly, muttering to it, “oh, you’ll talk to me, won’t you baby girl? Oh, yes you will, chirp! Chirp! ”
“Ha, you’re doin’ it all wrong!” Spamton said in amusement. “There’s a science to it, yeah? Chirrp! Like that!”
“ Chiiiiirp! ” Tenna tried, but no response. Spamton laughed at him, but he really didn’t mind. He wanted to try his best to get the pipis to chirp back. It would be wonderful, and surprisingly fulfilling, and not to mention adorable.
“Go on, Ant, don’t lose hope now!” Spamton goaded him on. He continued.
“ Chirppp! ”
“ Chirrrp! ”
“ Chiiiiirp! ”
…
“Chirp?”
Tenna runs his hands down his screen. He knew this was stupid. What was he doing?
Locking himself away in the Z-Rank Room with the little blue thing, he didn’t know what to expect. Spending valuable time with something that salesman left behind? Giving it attention?
Tenna frowns.
“Oh, babygirl,” he whispers, picking the egg up from the table and holding her close in his arms, “I’m sorry for thinking that way, you’re not just an it. That’s… that’s my silly head being, haha, silly! You’re my precious little darling, yes you are.”
Then why wouldn’t it- she reply?
His fingers twitch. His grip on her is so gentle, she’s so fragile in his hold. Her shell was hard as ever, and she’s as heavy as the first time he held her, but she was so… quiet.
“Now, c’mon my precious! You’ll make those cute little sounds, won’t you?” Tenna speaks with desperation, and he forces himself to loosen his hold on the pipis. God, he doesn’t want to hurt her.
[YES!!!] you do.
He gulps and takes in a shaky breath and says, “now, chirrp! ”
You want me [[6 Feet Under]].
“Baby, you have to do it back, haha! You silly little thing,” Tenna says. “Chirp! Chiiirp! ”
I made her and you want me dead, [Cathode].
“Hahaha! Oh, my head, it- oh, what about it!” Tenna speaks quickly. He tries to ignore it, the words of the past, because they’re not real and they’re just echoes of what has passed and he isn’t here anymore. It’s just him and the pipis and that’s all there is in this room.
This room with ripped up posters, taped together in the aftermath and then ripped up all over again.
The table with a telephone that Tenna had unplugged.
This… this blue thing that wouldn’t respond, no matter how loudly he chirped, or how lovingly he held it, how he had kept it safe in the many months since that man left. The thoughts he had of bringing in another Addison just to make sure it wasn’t alone, someone else to chirp for him. The thoughts he had of going out and finding him again so the poor little thing could be with its parent. He wasn’t good enough, he wasn’t an Ad, he couldn’t speak to it.
You will [never, ever, ever!] understand, Ant.
“Stop…” Tenna holds the egg close, but it feels like it’s drifting away. “C’mon, you little cutie… ch-chirp?”
You’re a [wittle] [[FAKER]], y’know that?
“You’re the… the faker here, not me!” Tenna gasps, lurching forward. The wires and circuitry that made up his gut felt like it was in a twist. If he could throw up, he would, except he wouldn’t. He couldn’t ruin this room anymore than he had.
You stole, ha! EVERYTHING from [Me, Me, Me!]. You stole my looks…
“Please, stop,” Tenna mumbles.
Asked me for that [damned to hell!!] contract to be [Signed in Blood]...
Tenna heaves. “Stop it!”
And to [[Tippity Top]] it all off…
“Spam, you- I… please, please stop, I can’t take it…” Tenna cries, folded over and encasing what was left of his last partnership.
You think you can take care of her?
“STOP!” Tenna screams, growing large in his anger and his claws sharpening his soft gloves. His screen feels fuzzy and hot, and his mouth hurts with the points of his teeth as he yells. “You left! You left her with me! I’m- I’m doing my best, you spammy, slimy cretin. You don’t-”
You’ll never be what she needs.
A crack.
“YOU DON’T LOVE HER!”
A crunch.
“You don’t…” Tenna takes in a sharp breath. “You don’t…”
Leaning back, he turns his head down to his hands. The shell of his baby girl lay unnaturally on the fabric of his pants, shattered and connected only by the thin membrane of the inside of the egg. The inside is a darker blue, and the colour swirls in his vision, it flickers like static, as he brings his gaze to his palm.
He doesn’t know what he’s looking at.
“D- darling?” his voice is cold as he says it. “No. No, no, no, no.”
He rolls her over in his hand, she’s so small and her white fur is covered in sticky black blood, and watches as her head flops to the other side. Like a dead bird. Like some sort of roadkill.
There’s a puncture in her throat.
The voice in his head whispers something but he doesn’t register it at all.
He’s muttering and crying, rocking back and forth. His crying turns to wails, and his words turn to silence. He can’t get another word out. He just killed his baby girl, he killed her. Crushed her little home and laid her unmade body bare and he’s a murderer.
He killed her.
He crushed her.
He didn’t mean it.
Oh, he killed her.
“Boss?”
Tenna didn’t hear the knock at the door, nor did he hear anyone enter.
“Oh, jeez, boss!”
Tenna can’t bring himself to turn his head up. If he did, whoever was here would see what kind of thing he was. A child murderer. Brought so low to destroy the one good thing that that damned partner of his left behind. She was innocent, all she did was… be quiet. She didn’t chirp back, and Tenna could feel the energy under his metal plates buzz with anger, but she couldn’t help it. He wasn’t what she needed. He couldn’t be. He-
“BOSS!”
Tenna snapped up as he felt a whack on the head, screen black and wet with tears, white lines scattering across his screen and humming. He let out a shaky breath, whining and muttering to Mike through the heaving, “oh, I’m- I’m terrible. Mike, just go. Take everyone with you. Before I-”
“Boss, what’re ya saying?!” Mike looked at Tenna oddly, then brought his gaze down to his hands. Tenna pulled his arms away and screeched, “ don’t look at her! ”
Mike was quiet, and then repeated, “her? Who’re ya talking about?”
Tenna felt so angry. Didn’t Mike see it? The black blood and the shattered blue shell? The leftovers of it all splattered on his suit? The pointed finger that had… had killed her?
He looked down at his hands.
He didn’t see her.
The memory of him saying something about these things disappearing came to mind, causing another surge of woe and panic in him, only before he realized that there was… nothing. No blood, no shell, the smell of death still lingered in his mind but she wasn’t gone .
“Yer looking real lost there, boss,” Mike said slowly. He was lucky that Tenna was so out of it, silent and caught up in his own head, because he felt his own words becoming a little lost. Never in the short amount of time as Mike, nor in the few months he’d been working under the man, had he ever seen Tenna so… so…
God, he didn’t have the words.
Tenna sprung up and looked around. If she wasn’t in his arms, if he hadn’t killed her, then she must still be here. Still alive. Just where was she? His vision wasn’t very good now, he’d have to sleep off the awful water damage. How would he ever get sleep again?
He spotted her, pushing past Mike and falling to his knees.
The phone. Of course, when he first came in, he left her by the phone. He never got up and brought her over. It was all… in his head. The voice from before, it felt so real, and yet…
“Uhh, boss?” Mike asked, picking himself up from where the TV had so casually knocked him down. He would have snapped, he felt very on the verge of it, but the state that Tenna was in made it impossible to really get angry. He clearly wasn’t all there. It was eerie, and scary, and sad. “What’s, uh, what’s the blue thing? Did ya lose it or something?”
With unsteady hands Tenna reached out, and he forced himself to still them as he picked the egg up.
Should he do this? What if he breaks her again?
“She’s not an it, Mike,” Tenna said with uncertainty.
Mike nodded and replied, “uh-huh…?”
The room was quiet.
Tenna didn’t want to look up from the pipis. He breathed in deeply before asking, “Mike?”
“Yessir?” Mike responded quickly.
Tenna held her out ever so slightly and asked slowly, “is she… real? She isn’t cracked or- fake?”
“Uhh, pretty real and all put together.” Mike was really ready to leave whatever situation he had just walked into.
Tenna finally relaxed. As much as he could, anyway. He was still on edge, and the guilt from before was still resting heavy in him, but she was alive. And real. Everything from before wasn’t. He finally had it in him to turn his screen away from the pipis, and looked to the other man in the room.
“Mike. That drawer in the prize room, you know the one. Fix it up for me, won’t you? Cushions, blankets…” He imagined the same disgusting, gooey, black-blue membrane of the shell in his head. He shook it away, and continued, “paint it a pretty blue, too.”
Mike stared, then nodded, and quickly went to the door as he said, “yessiree! On it! Aha, immediately!”
“Good,” Tenna replied quietly. “Good.”
“I’m- I’m sorry.” He looked down at his little angel, bringing her to his fuzzy screen, and whispered, “ chirrp. I love you, darling.”
She didn’t say anything back.