Chapter Text
Emily’s POV
She’s safe. She’s here. With us. With me. I can’t believe it. I don’t know how to act. She’s changed I can see it in her eyes, those beautiful deep blue eyes…
Em! NO! Come on! You can’t go there. Remember how she treated you, remember how she shamed you.
But she’s changed. Everything about her is different. Her tough mean bitch act seems to have been replaced by my Ali, the one behind closed doors, the one only I knew, the one that would only surface once in a blue moon.
We’re in the bus back to Rosewood from New York. Shana/A is dead… We’re safe for the moment. Hanna sits with her, they’ve been talking and crying for half an hour now. I hear sorry’s being tossed here and there in between them. She’s changed. Aria and Spencer are sitting together resting their heads on one another. I look at them. Aria is just staring into space. She’s still shocked by what’s just happened. Spencer is murmuring reassurance to her, assuring her it was the only way and the right thing to do.
I look back over to her. She’s looking right at me. I offer a small smile, she smiles back, that Alison smile that only she has. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. Ah! God! I need to stop torturing myself, I need to stop thinking about her like that! But it’s her, it’s Ali… I can’t stop thinking about her, me, us.
Hanna and Ali hug and Hanna gets up. She taps Spencer’s shoulder, points at Ali and takes her place next to Aria. I just stare out the window not knowing what to think anymore.
Hanna’s POV
Ali and I sat together as soon as we got into the bus.
‘’ I’m so sorry Hanna. I’m a bitch! I can’t believe you let me treat you like that when all you ever did was be admiring and kind to me.’’ Were these words truly coming out of her mouth? I tried to say something but couldn't so I just let her keep going.
‘’I hate myself for what I did to you, to all of you. I’m so sorry I called you ‘Hefty Hanna’ and made fun of you. I’m so glad you came to get me. I’m so sorry. I’m such a bitch. I don’t deserve a friend like you. I’m sorry’’
Tears are running down both our faces and I put my arm around her.
‘’Ali… You were a bitch. But I’m looking at you now and I’m seeing Alison DiLaurentis 2.0.’’ She laughs ‘’ Yeah, who you used to be sucked, but you’re getting a second chance and I’ll be there for the whole ride. Besides, I’m glad you’re back, I need someone to go shopping for clothes with cause it’s not like Fork Earrings Aria, Buisness Smart Spencer and Sporty Emily are any help!!!’’ She lets out a little laugh and looks behind her. She’s looking at Emily, boy! them two are gonna have a pretty big talk…
We keep talking for half an hour. I tell her all about Caleb. She listens and she seems to genuinely care. She’s changed for the best. I’m loving this new Alison, she’s become… good. When we’ve finished catching up, we hug for a long time. I know she’s looking back at Emily whilst we talk. I don’t know how Emily is copping with this but I know her well enough to know she wants be left alone.
‘’Hey, can you tell Spencer to come see me?’’ I nod, I know she wants to speak to all of us. I see the guilt in her eyes and feel the intensity of her emotions as she speaks. I like this new Ali.
I go towards Spencer. She’s holding on to Aria. Aria is shaking. I can’t stand seeing her like this. I let Spence know that Alison wants to see her. I sit where she was next to Aria and hug the small body beside me. I feel her trying to hold back the tears. She’s still struggling with the whole Dead Shana thing. I start saying everything and anything that will make her forget. I know she’s okay but I also know her heart is fragile at the moment and she just needs comfort.
Spencer’s POV
When Hanna got up I already knew that Ali was gonna want to talk to all of us. I wasn't surprised when she said Ali wanted to see me next. Emily was in her zone, you could see she was deep in thought and well we all knew them two would need the most time to prepare for whatever they had to say to one another. And well Aria, Aria had finally succumbed to the guilt she was trying to repress. It wasn’t her fault. I wish she could truly understand that.
I sit next to Alison.
‘’Hey’’ I say
‘’Spencer’’ we just stare at each other. Her previous tears had just dried up when we both just broke down into each others arms. ‘’I’m so sorry, Spencer. I was just so scared that I’d be alone if I didn't try to outsmart you that I thought putting you down and pushing you on the edge would be good. I’m so stupid. I’m so sorry.’’
‘’Sh Sh shhh it’s alright Ali you’re here now, you’re safe, you’re alive and you’ve changed. I can’t believe I’m about to say this…’’ She looked at me quizzically
‘’Hope doesn’t always breed eternal misery’’
She stares at me for a bit ‘’What do you mean? Has Spencer Hastings just taken it to the next level by proving herself wrong?!’’ I let out a small chuckle.
‘’We hoped for you to be alive. And you are and to me there is no misery in knowing your sister is alive.’’ She laughs a little and smiles.
‘’You know we’re not really related we just happen to share a brother right?’’
‘’Yeah but I like the idea of you and me being sisters, cause that’s kinda the relationship we have isn’t it?’’
‘’Hating each other and trying to be better than the other but knowing deep down inside you’d do anything before you’d let anyone do anything to them? Yeah, sounds like us and sisterhood to me’’ We smiled and hugged. We stayed like that for a while.
‘’So I know all about Haleb!!! Now let me know all about this Spoby thing Hanna was telling me about?’’
‘’Haleb? Spoby? She actually gave all of us ship names?! Haha!!! That’s so typical of Hanna! You gotta love that girl!’’ We both look back at her and smile. She knows we’re talking about her. As we turn back around I see Ali’s eyes stop on Emily for a second. I wonder what’s gonna happen with them. I can’t imagine what Emily must be going through right now.
I tell her all about Toby, that first kiss at the motel, the time I thought he was part of the A team, the time I found him ‘dead’ in woods, all of it. She listens and she seems to genuinely care. She’s changed for the best. I’m loving this new Alison, she’s become… good.
I turn around, Aria is standing up straight and talking to Hanna. She’s seems fine.
‘’Do you want me to get Aria?’’ She nods as I get up but she grabs my arm.
‘’I’m sorry sis! I love you!’’ I smile at her ‘’I love you too sis!’’
I like this new Ali.
I go to Aria and Hanna.
Aria’s POV
It finally dawned on me. I killed someone. I’m a murderer. It doesn't matter if she deserved it or not. I took away someone’s life. Because of me someone has lost their daughter, their friend, their niece, their granddaughter, their everything…
Spencer, then Hanna tried to make me feel better but they don’t get it! Because of me, Shana will never graduate, she’ll never get to go to college and pledge, Shana’s dad will never get to walk her down the aisle… And it’s all my fault…
Hanna sits and starts making jokes… I can’t believe her she always manages to shine in the darkest moments. Before I know it, I’m smiling and laughing with her. I guess she’s just trying to get me to forget about it. And it’s working.
Whilst Alison and Spencer cry, talk, hug, talk and cry and hug some more, Hanna and I just look on. She let me knows what Ali told her.
‘’She’s changed, Aria. She’s not Queen Bee Alison. She’s just Ali. She’s become human’’ I laugh at that last bit.
I look over to Em, sitting on her own looking through the window.
‘’How do you think she’s dealing with this?’’
She looks to where I’m looking. ‘’Honestly I have no clue… We know Ali was her first love and no one ever forgets that… I mean you and Ezra’’ I glare at her she knows that we aren't together anymore ‘’ right sorry, me and Caleb… Remember? When he worked for Mona when we first dated? you’ll do anything for you first love and forgive them everything and anything.’’’
‘’But they’re different… No one knows what Ali really feels for Em’’ she cuts me off
‘’I saw her looking at her earlier, I think I have a pretty good idea’’ I look at her in shock
‘’You’re usually right about these kinda things but until I see it with my own eyes I won’t believe you’’
‘’Bet you that they’ll be making out within a week?’’
‘’Haha!!!’’ I look at her, she has a serious look on her face ‘’You’re kidding right?’’
‘’ I never kid about winning money’’ I hesitate for a bit. Hanna tends to have an eye for these kind of things.
‘’How much?’’
‘’10 bucks’’
‘’Fine, you're on!’’ We shake hands.
We start talking about New York and how next time we’ll actually go there for the city. And before I know it we’re talking about places we’d like to visit. It’s nice… Lately, a lot if not all our conversations were A or Ali related.
Spencer comes to us.
‘’Hey Aria, Ali wants to speak with you’’ She nods and I look behind her where Ali is giving me an encouraging smile.
I get up and squeeze Hanna’s hand as she lets me go. Spencer takes my seat next to her. I walk over to Alison towards the front of the bus. I look at Emily as I walk there, she’s in the middle of the bus. She looks up to me. I’m worried about her. It must show on my face because she gives a reassuring smile. I know she’s not alright but I also know Ali and I need to talk things through. Em stares back out through her window and put her earphones in her ears. International sign for: Don’t disturb me! I look at Hanna. She needs to talk to someone before she speaks to Ali or she’ll end up saying something she’ll regret. And Emily doesn’t deal well with regret. Hanna sees me and I indicate to her to wait 20 mins. She gets the message and I walk over to Ali who’s still waiting for me.
‘’Ali, before you say anything. I know what you told Hanna and from what I saw you said something similar to Spence. And I forgive you.’’ She stares at me in shock. I keep going. ‘’You’ve been through a lot. Too much and I’m glad to know you’re still with us.’’ I just stare at her. Suddenly her arms are around me as she hugs me tightly. It takes me some time to react but I hug her back and it feels nice. She pulls away.
‘’Aria, you haven’t changed a bit, still as loving and compassionate.’’ She smiles ‘’ But I still have to get off my chest what I wanna tell you.’’ Hanna was right, she’s changed I can see her sincerity in her eyes. ‘’ I hate myself for how I was 2 years ago… I wish I could go back and undo but I can’t but I can do this. I can try my best to make things better if not right. I will do right by you. I know how much trouble I caused in your family and how I drove you and your father apart. I know how I took advantage of how compassionate you are and I see you still have that great quality.’’ She looks towards Emily, she must’ve seen me look at her. ’’I’ve always admired you for that’’ She’s looking into my eyes now. ‘’ I hope I can make it up to you. You’ve all been through so much just for me.’’ Tears stream down my face and I pull her into a hug. We pull back and wipe our tears away. I catch her up on the news about me for the past 2 years. She says that even though she kept tabs on us she always wanted to hear us say them.
So I talk, I tell her about Ezra, Noel, even that one kiss with Jason. She didn't seem surprised though, she says she saw the way he used to gawk at me. I keep going because I want to tell her everything.
It’s never been like this before. She listens and she seems to genuinely care. She’s changed for the best. I’m loving this new Alison, she’s become… good.
A half hour later, we enter Rosewood. Ali and I have finished talking so I get up to get my things. Before I can walk away though she pulls me back down. I look at her confused.
‘’I’m so glad you girls never gave up on me even though I gave you plenty reasons to. I don’t know what I did to deserve friends like you but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you that I promise.’’ Her honesty was so terribly honest I didn’t know what to make of it. I looked at her.
‘’ We did. We gave up, more than once. We accused you more times than I can count. But she never did.’’ I look at Emily but I know she knew who I meant. Han and Em were now talking. ‘’Whatever you say to her Ali, make sure you mean it 100% she deserves to know the truth about you and what she means to you.’’ She stared at the ground she knew what I meant.
‘’ I know Aria, I know I hurt her the most and it kills m…’’
‘’Ali! You need to tell her this. Not me.’’ And with that I get up and walk to the back of the bus with Spencer. I see Ali just stare out the window and think. The bus will stop in 5mins I gather my things.
Emily’s POV
Ali is talking to Aria. I put my music on when Aria looked at me as she walked past. She knew what it meant. Out of the corner of my eye though I saw her point at me and behind. I dunno what she was going on about so I just let it go.
*30 mins later*
*They wanna be loved, wanna be loved
Come on it's simple enough
They wanna be loved
They wanna be loved, wanna be loved
A little kiss and a hug
They wanna be loved
Now everybody knows it don't always last
But if I can't have it for long then I want it fast
Better love for now then for never at all
So baby if you dow-* (Wanna Be Loved - John Legend)
‘’What the hell?!’’ I turn to see Hanna holding my earphone and putting it in her ear. I look at where she used to sit with Spencer who’s reading a book.
‘’Em you cannot be serious! This is like the worst time for you to be listening to this!’’
‘’That’s why I’m listening to it’’ She bursts out laughing. ‘’What?! What is so funny Hanna?’’ I take my earphone out she does the same.
‘’Your argument… Sorry… I’m meant to try and be supportive here’’ She takes a deep breath and puts her serious face on ‘’So Ali’s gonna be back… how you feeling about that?’’ I knew I would have to talk about it at some point. I look over at where Ali and Aria are in a tight embrace. I felt a pang of jealousy in my gut. If I’m gonna talk about this with anyone I’m glad it’s Hanna. She’s the first one who found out I was gay and she supported me to come out.
‘’I dunno’’ I say frankly. ‘’ It’s Ali you know… I’m not gonna lie. I still love her but it’s Ali. That’s the problem. She’s hurt me so much before… I don’t know if I can take it again…’’ She wipes a tear from my cheek, I hadn't even noticed I was crying. ‘’ What do I do Hanna?’’ I rest my head on her shoulder, she puts her arm around me.
‘’ You see what she tells you. Then you follow your heart because there’s no reason for you not to go after what you want. Even if there’s a million reasons why you should give her up, the heart wants what it wants.’’
I laugh ‘’ Did you seriously just use a Selena Gomez lyric to try and make me feel better?’’ I raise my eyebrow
‘’Maybe’’ She giggles.
‘’ I guess you’re right. I just can’t take anymore hurt, Han.’’
‘’I know, Em, I know.’’ We stay there for a while just leaning on each other. We talk every now and then but we don’t say much.
Ali and Aria look back towards us, I pretend I don’t see anything. We’re in Rosewood, we’ll be at the bus stop in 5 mins and Ali and I still haven’t talked. I guess my turn will eventually come, I just hope it’s soon. I need to know what she feels.