Chapter Text
Seulgi liked to focus. It did not really matter what it was on - as long as it was interesting enough.
Simple things likes schoolwork and studying, ballet and even painting - they were things that she could work on by herself for hours with no distractions. No noise from the outside world. Just her and herself improving her own skills. Her step-mum wasn’t rich, but she was comfortable enough to provide the means needed for Seulgi to explore herself and her interests. Watching her gain proficiency in a number of areas without the need for external validation made her quite proud, even.
It was like this until she was around twelve years old - cycling through different hobbies until she had grown satisfied enough with them. But it was also around the time where Seulgi was first exposed to the wonderful world of social media. She never posted, never commented, but she found herself drawn to those who were dedicated to their craft. Those who spent years perfecting a single art rather than switching spontaneously between them - it was via social media that she was introduced to the art of rock climbing.
She had like just one video of a well-known member of the Korean national climbing team and her page was suddenly full of new terminology that she had never heard of - crimps, cruxes, slopers - a barrage of information about the sport. It’s not like she had never seen a rock climbing gym - they were quite abundant in Seoul - but it was the first time she had really delved into the world.
There was one particular influencer that had caught her eye - jae_climbs. The girl didn’t look much older than herself yet she already seemed to be a master at the sport. She periodically uploaded videos of her doing impressive ‘dynos’ which Seulgi learned to be dynamic moves or jumps between holds and topping boulders that Seulgi would have thought to be impossible. Though she never showed her face in her videos, Seulgi found herself drawn to her appearance.
The way the muscles in her back twitched.
The way her forearms hardened from years of dedicated work.
But her fixation on Jae was just admiration, was it not?
Either way, eventually her step-mother found out that she was on Instagram before the age of thirteen and was immediately but quietly restricted from having access to any of those apps apart from the necessary ones from communication. Seulgi was never really told why but it was most likely something to do with how ‘maintaining a healthy image of herself’ is important. Seulgi didn’t mind too much - she was just beginning to realise how repetitive scrolling was, but she did miss learning about climbing…and Jae.
Then she realised that the easiest way for her to learn more about climbing was to try it out herself.
That’s why Seulgi found herself in her local climbing gym three times a week.
It had started off as once a week but Seulgi found herself unable to switch off from her focus on the wall. She’d dream about it, about climbing it, about other people climbing it. She couldn’t switch to another hobby as she once did before, she felt as if she could only think of climbing. Her step-mum, always observant had silently booked her for more sessions, driving her there and back without complaint.
Every single climb was a puzzle waiting to be solved. She did not need to communicate with the outside world if need be apart from the occasional pointers from her instructor. Not that Seulgi needed many - her balance was impeccable due to her years of ballet and various other activities - she climbed instinctively but calmly, never breaking concentration. When she struggled, she asked for help, but only after trying at least three more times by herself. When she learned what she had to do, it stuck. She never forgot. Her body became accustomed to all sorts of crimps, heel hooks and drop knees and by the end of the year she already found herself competing in local competitions, winning and gaining traction within her small local climbing community.
But Seulgi never did it for the validation. She did it for herself. To feed her own obsession…to feed her own distraction.
Seulgi was sixteen when she met her again. She didn’t recognise her at first as she was just another contestant at the Seoul Bouldering Championships. It didn’t take long to realise that she would be a competitor as she matched her name and number to the people within her age group. Yoo Jaeyi…where had she heard that name before? Even if Seulgi wanted to greet her, however, she could not. The girl was surrounded by cameras and reporters that wouldn’t leave her side.
“That’s her!” said Joo Yeri. Whilst Seulgi was an introvert, she couldn’t see the harm in having at least one friend. Yeri had started going to her climbing gym when she was fourteen and seeing her talent, Seulgi decided it would be useful to have her by her side, no matter how loud she was.
“Who?” Seulgi asked, genuinely curious.
“Yoo Jaeyi - she’s on the national team. She’s known for her extreme strength and power. I don’t know why she’s at a slightly lower-level competition…experience maybe?”
Seulgi ignored her question. “We’re sixteen it’s not normal to have your entire life monitored like that.”
Yeri looked suspiciously at Seulgi before coming to a quick conclusion - “Oh, I forget that you don’t have Instagram do you?”
Seulgi sighed. “No. Why?”
But before Yeri could respond, the climbers were given the green light to begin the qualifying bouldering round and Seulgi sped off into the distance, immediately fixated on her task.
She cruised through most of the problems with her technical prowess and skill. The years of analysing every climb she did made the majority of her moves intentional and precise. She had flashed at least ten of the twenty boulders, meaning she completed them in one go. Seven more of them took a bit longer due to needing at least two attempts to really nail them, but as the time began to run out, she found herself unable to reach the zone, or midpoint on the final three.
One in particular required a large jump to a sloper that she just couldn’t quite land. She wanted to try a different way but even then she found herself falling and needing to rest. She felt herself getting more frustrated with each failure. That was when she came along. Yoo Jaeyi who didn’t even ask if Seulgi was still working on it before reaching the start holds. She effortlessly reached the zone before spending a few seconds setting herself up to top the boulder with an impressive dyno.
Watching someone brush past her and flash a boulder she had been relentlessly trying in a few seconds should have infuriated Seulgi - and it did. But there was also something about her…
The way the muscles in her back contracted.
The way her forearms were toned and sculpted.
Like a work of art that had struck a chord in Seulgi’s mind.
That’s when it clicked. Instagram. Climbing. She had almost forgotten why she had started. Not just out of self motivation, but out of respect towards one person.
As Jaeyi turned her head, her eyes locked with Seulgi’s. Seulgi had no doubt that her own eyes were livid, full of resentment and jealousy. But Jaeyi’s was full of something different - curiosity perhaps?
Jaeyi brushed past Seulgi once more, but this time she didn’t forget to say something in a low voice, just above a whisper whilst passing.
“I’ll show you how to do it later, if you’ll show me something as well.”
The clock went off signalling the end of the qualifying round. The climbers swarmed to the judging table to give in their scorecards but Seulgi remained rooted to the spot. For once in her life, she was distracted by another person. But she tried to reason that Jaeyi and climbing were one and the same to her. Her chest tightened and her heart raced but not from climbing…was this hate? Is this what absolutely despising someone felt like?
She was snapped out of her internal conflict by Yeri who grabbed her shoulder.
“Seulgi, what are you standing there for? Come on.” She said before dragging her to the table.
It was without a doubt that Seulgi had made finals despite not topping all twenty boulders. 17/20 tops was acceptable, but it wasn’t what she wanted. Although Seulgi firmly believed that her competition was always against the wall and not her competitors, she couldn’t help but looking at the rankings of her fellow climbers unconsciously searching for a specific name.
“Aw shit, I missed out.” Yeri had her face in her hands. 5th out of 24 was no easy feat, but it also meant she had not secured a spot for the finals. “Well, I’ll be watching you Seulgi - look at you topping the same number of boulders as Yoo Jaeyi!”
Seulgi’s eyes darted towards the rankings to confirm this bold fact from Yeri. Jaeyi had topped the same number of boulders as her? How? It wasn’t like this was an easy competition, it was highly regarded to do well, but did that mean Seulgi was closer to being nationally ranked than she thought?
Whilst she had still topped the same number of boulders as Jaeyi, she had taken more attempts to do so and therefore was ranked lower than her and would be competing before her in the finals. Her eyes searched for Jaeyi and was unable to locate her so she resigned to wash her hands and prepare for the final.
She looked down at the skin on her hand, slight rips adorning her palms like medals for her hard work - the physical pain of climbing was nothing…compared to other things. In fact she quite liked looking after her skin. Sandpaper to get it even. Various hand lotions after a hard day’s work. It was a hobby on its own.
As her eyes moved back to the mirror in front of her, escaping her own world, she made direct eye contact with none other than Yoo Jaeyi - the girl she hated(?).
Joey opened her mouth to say something but her words didn’t come out. Instead she came in closer behind Seulgi, placing both her hands on Seulgi’s bare shoulders and leaned in towards her right ear.
“Good luck.”
Jaeyi whispered with a smile before walking off to the isolation zone. What was this girl’s problem? Why was she like this?
Seulgi felt her chest tighten once more as she re-imagined the lingering touch of Jaeyi’s palms on her shoulders, the echoes of her breath. She really hated Jaeyi. Hated how she beat her. That’s why she still thought of her.
But she had the finals to go - she had to purge her thoughts and clear her mind, ready to do her absolute best and focus. Without focus, things got messy.
Seulgi made her way to the isolation zone not too soon afterwards. As the finalists had never seen the boulders, it was important that those who had climbed a boulder first and those who had not yet climbed were separated so that the competitors couldn’t discuss how they solved the problem and therefore give everyone a fair chance. They had had a few minutes to look at them as a finalist group beforehand, but Seulgi hadn’t managed to figure out the correct route for one of the four problems, so she decided that she would work on it when she got to it.
The competitor who had placed fourth in qualifiers went first, Cho Ara. Seulgi had met her before but found her incredibly annoying. Before she had gone on, she had also asked for a personal signature from Yoo Jaeyi, which extremely got on Seulgi’s nerves for some reason. Well, how could someone be so excited about the person she hated after all?
Eventually it was the competitor who came third’s turn to go on, Choi Kyung. Seulgi could tolerate her. She had a no-nonsense air about her, just like herself. But her departure also meant that it was just her and Jaeyi alone in the isolation room, which she was not particularly fond of.
“I meant what I said earlier, by the way.” Jaeyi broke the tension.
“Good luck?”
“Well, yes, but the thing before that.”
“What?”
“I’ll show you how to do the crux on that boulder but you need to show me something as well.”
Seulgi sighed - this girl couldn’t be serious, could she? Why would she need advice from Seulgi?
“If you’re trying to rattle me up before the competition or trying to make me let my guard down, it won’t work,”
“Im serious!” exclaimed Jaeyi as she moved closer towards Seulgi, who instinctively leaned back.
“Climbing is a solo sport, you don’t need me.”
“You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”
“Does someone use a forklift to lift you up the wall or do you climb it yourself?”
“You know what I mean.” Jaeyi laughed, amused and not annoyed. “You have that friend you talked to earlier after all. What was her name…Joo Yeri?” So she had been watching her without her knowledge? This girl was insane. Her chest tightened again. “She came 5th, right? I saw her on problem 14. She’s got talent, but she doesn’t have the skill yet.”
“Do you really think I’m going to just sit here whilst you aggravate me?” Seulgi stood up, leering over Jaeyi. “I know everyone thinks you’re hot shit but I think you need to remember when to shut up before a competition! I can’t believe-” She stopped herself. Seulgi had never gotten that angry before, not even when she couldn’t solve a problem. She usually just went quiet and had never had a loud outburst like this. Jaeyi just stared at her, wide eyed the entire time with not a hint of malice in her gaze.
“I- I’m sorry-“ Seulgi began, feeling her words get trapped in her throat. “I don’t know why-“
“You think I’m hot?” said Jaeyi, still wide-eyed.
“What? That’s not-” Seulgi tried to protest, but her name was called out to the first problem.
She knew that she had to immediately focus once more and shift her attention away from Yoo Jaeyi. This was fine. This was what she was used to. She flashed the first boulder, the crowd cheering for her as she dropped down onto the mats and acknowledged them with a nod of her head.
During isolation for the second and third boulders, Jaeyi said nothing to her. She did feel a bit guilty for her sudden outburst and a bit confused on what Jaeyi had said to her, but if it meant that Jaeyi would keep to herself, she guessed it was a worthy sacrifice to make. It was when It was only the two of them before the fourth boulder in isolation when Jaeyi decided to say something yet again.
“I’m moving to Europe for two years.” This caught Seulgi’s attention, but she didn’t want to let it show too much.
“Why are you telling me?”
“Because although you won’t see me for a bit, I’m sure we’ll meet again. On the national team. At the World Cup.”
“Speak for yourself,” Seulgi turned to her with clear contempt written on her face. “This is just my hobby.”
“You don’t flash a slab problem like that if this is just a hobby to you.” Jaeyi spoke with more seriousness than before. It was the first time Seulgi noticed the assertiveness in her voice and she turned to face her, realising Jaeyi had closed much of the distance between them. She reached out to grab Seulgi’s hand and Seulgi didn’t pull away. She felt her strength, but also the tremor beneath it.
“Woo Seulgi, you are incredibly talented, but also incredibly technical and hardworking. You treat the sport like a work of art.” Jaeyi’s other hand traced Seulgi’s defined shoulders, Jaeyi’s eyes following as she continued talking.
“You’re like a dancer at the recital of their lives, or an artist who’s brushstrokes are never too heavy, never too soft.” Jaeyi’s eyes met Seulgi’s again, unwavering, almost desperate. Seulgi couldn’t help but notice the dim light causing her skin to glisten, her defined muscles sparkling like gold dust - but Jaeyi wasn’t done.
“I’d like to be an artist as well. Seulgi-ah, will you be my muse?”
The friction between their hands had caused the chalk to wear off slightly and Seulgi could swear she could feel Jaeyi’s pulse racing. It should have been cheesy, but there was something about the look in Jaeyi’s eyes that made her want to listen, to be persuaded. She felt the tightness in her chest again - was it really hate? It was almost urging her to listen more to Jaeyi’s words…
But she couldn’t.
She couldn’t let herself be distracted by Yoo Jaeyi.
She had to focus.
“I told you,” Seulgi said softly, removing her hand from Jaeyi’s grip which had felt much tighter before. “If you’re trying to make me let my guard down it won’t work.”
Seulgi didn’t look back as she stepped out of isolation and towards the final boulder. Her final problem that she needed to focus on.
It was the boulder that she had struggled to find a solution for during observation, so she spent a few seconds of her time trying to figure out something that would work. Eventually she decided that she should probably just have a go at it and see how it went.
It involved a swing - she’d have to swing from one hold to the next and not have many points of contact with the wall. She didn’t like the feeling of losing control or contact, but she knew it must be necessary in order to complete the problem.
After a few valuable attempts, she had managed to reach the zone of the problem and began eyeing for the top. She saw what she had to do and only had twenty seconds left - one large dyno or leap to the top hold. She prepared herself - she knew she could do it. She had done a jump like it before.
She jumped and her right hand managed to catch onto the top hold - it wasn’t the best, but she was sure she could bring her left had to match it, otherwise the top wouldn’t count.
But as she had jumped, her momentum had carried her a little more than anticipated and she found herself swinging slightly. Usually it was a quick fix - an outstretched foot to stop the momentum, otherwise known as flagging, but this time in the crucial moment, she thought of something else.
“You think I’m hot?”
Seulgi’s hand slipped and she fell.
And that’s how Seulgi came second at the Seoul Bouldering Championships.