Chapter Text
It was a balmy Saturday afternoon in Hometown.
Despite Autumn being already well underway, the small town was no stranger to warm days – or even the occasional heat wave, as was the case right now.
This presented a problem:
"Duuuuude, come on," Susie complained, sprawled on the sofa as she flipped through the channels, not a single thing on TV catching her attention, "let's just go do something outside already!"
Kris, "sitting" on the couch upside down, their legs on the backrest as their head dangled by the floor, responded in their usual way:
Not at all.
"Kriiiiis...!" she insisted, throwing the remote on top of them, "it's a freaking perfect day! Let's go break stuff! Throw eggs at Sans's store! Spray paint Undyne's car! Do anything besides rot inside all day!"
The human didn't respond verbally, but they did slump even farther down the couch, their sweater sliding down and exposing the tanned skin of their stomach.
Susie stared at them with barely disguised frustration.
"Are you really going to waste your entire Saturday locked inside...?"
"...mhm," Kris confirmed, eyes glued to a spot somewhere between the television and the infinite vastness of space. Or maybe they were just spacing out, as usual.
"Bullshit," scoffed Susie, "it's Saturday, you're Kris, and the world is not currently in danger. I know you're dying to do something stupid right now."
"..." Kris seemed to consider her words for a second, before groaning and slumping even farther down, their head bumping against the floor, "...too hot."
"Dude, the temperature is just fine! Better than just fine, it's just right!"
Kris's eyes flickered up (or down, from their perspective) at Susie before they pointed a finger at her and said "...cold..." and then one at themself: "...warm-blooded."
"I know you're warm-blooded, this has nothin' to do with that!" she growled, "you're just a pussy."
"...yep," they didn't even bother to deny it, "...lazy, too."
"Urgh, you're such a pain in the ass sometimes, y'know that?"
"...love you too," they snickered before going back to watching nothing in particular on the television. Upside down.
Susie rolled her eyes.
She knew the human had trouble handling the heat – especially since they never took off that stupid sweater – but dammit if she wasn't the opposite. She thrived in the heat! She was full of energy! She wanted to do something – anything!
Of course, Susie could always just go find something to do on her own, but it wouldn't be the same. Not without Kris. The way the two of them understood each other – especially when it came to the small, dumb stuff – was special. They didn't need words between them to get each other.
Unfortunately for Susie, these days she found that doing nothing with Kris was more fun than doing stuff without them, and she knew Kris felt the same. They had invited her over to do nothing together, after all.
Although, Kris knew that even if they hadn't invited her, Susie would just come anyway. That was just how she was.
"Uuuuuuuurgh...!" Susie groaned, drowning in the tedium of the living room. Her eyes drifted to Kris, or, more specifically, to their bare stomach. A light sheen of sweat covered their skin, and, with their sweater having slid even further, their bellybutton was now exposed as well.
Without thinking, the lizard poked the tip of a sharp claw into their bellybutton, making Kris yelp and fold themself in in surprise, losing their balance and falling face first on the floor with a thud, crumpled like a used napkin.
She burst out in laughter, bending over and holding her stomach at her friend's misfortune (even if she had been the one who caused it).
"Is everything alright, children?" Toriel suddenly stepped into the room, concern in her voice, "I heard something..." her eyes widened as she saw Kris on the floor, "...falling."
"It's— heheheh...! Everything's fine, ma'am," Susie waved her off, trying to regain her composure, "Kris just decided the floor was more comfortable than the couch is all."
The older goat sighed, shooting the human an unamused look. "My child, I told you a thousand times to just... sit normally already..." she shook her head, knowing it was a lost cause, before turning back to return to the kitchen, "call me if Kris falls down again, please, Susie?"
"Will do, Ms. T!" Susie saluted, pretending to be serious until her eyes drifted to the crumpled pile of Kris on the floor and she started laughing again.
With a groan, Kris righted themself up, limbs untangling like a four-legged spider. They were so weird. Sometimes, Kris would move with incredible, practiced grace. Other times, they moved like they had just found out they had limbs. It really was a toss-up what you'd be getting from them.
Whipping their head up to look at Susie, rubbing their sore forehead, Kris stared at her, red eyes piercing with betrayal from under their messed up bangs.
"...why."
"Bored," Susie shrugged, grinning down at them, "it's your fault. Leaving your weak spots all exposed like that."
The human glowered, until the beginnings of an idea began to take shape in their mind.
Kris clambered over to her, in between her legs as they took Susie's hand in their own.
"D-dude, wha—?"
"...shh," they shushed her. Kris picked at her finger, staring at the claw that had so mercilessly stabbed at their vitals (lightly poked their bellybutton), a grin spreading on their face as the idea became clearer. A plan.
Susie could feel her face begin to warm up. It's not that they weren't used to physical contact with each other; on the contrary: if Susie wasn't resting her head on Kris or Kris wasn't all draped over her like a weird dog, then they were at least touching in some way, bumping shoulders, punching each other jokingly, that kind of thing. Holding hands, however, was something they usually only did when they had to drag the other one somewhere urgently and couldn't afford to get separated.
It was a bit embarrassing, honestly.
"Dude, you're being weirder than usual right now," Susie mumbled, "the hell's up, freak?"
"...'something stupid', huh...?" Kris whispered, running a finger through her longest claw.
Susie's eyes widened as an excited grin made its way to her face.
"You got an idea or somethin'?" she asked.
Kris looked up at her with the same wicked grin she'd seen countless times.
She knew that grin:
They were up to no good.
"Hell yeah!!" Susie pulled them up by the hand, leaving them sprawled over her lap, "lay it on me, nerd!"
Kris promptly crawled off of her, sitting on their knees so they could get right up to her ear.
"...we need to get past mom," they whispered.
"What, we're not going outside?"
They shook their head.
"Well, if your mom catches us, I'm blaming it all on you."
They gave her a thumbs up before leaning back in.
"...we go to the kitchen. grab some snacks. a bottle of grape soda. two glasses. fancy ones. then we go to my room."
Susie simply stared at them, blinking in disbelief.
"...snacks?" she asked.
Kris thought about it for a second.
"...cheez-its," they specified, "...and two glasses."
"That's not what I'm—" Susie sighed, facepalming, "is your big plan really 'eating snacks in your room'??" she growled, "fuck, we could do that right here!"
"...no, no," Kris insisted, "...trust me," they said, wicked grin still in place.
She groaned.
That was the thing about Kris's plans – or rather, their schemes: Kris was never very specific with the details, being super vague and leaving Susie wondering the whole time. Still, they always came up with good ideas and she ended up having fun anyway – or, at least, she'd have a good laugh when it all inevitably blew up in Kris's face.
"Urgh, fine," she relented, "but if I'm not having fun in the next fifteen minutes I'm kicking your ass."
"...deal," they smirked, turning off the TV and jumping off the couch, "...come on."
Susie reluctantly followed as Kris sneaked around, stealthily sliding into the kitchen like a dumbass. She just walked normally behind them. They weren't even doing anything wrong (yet)!
As they entered the kitchen, Kris tiptoed around a distracted Toriel, raiding the pantry and retrieving a large bag of cheese snacks and two fancy wine glasses, awkwardly holding them in a way that they would be hidden by the bag.
Susie rolled her eyes, casually opening up the fridge and getting a two liter bottle of grape soda, cringing as she accidentally slammed the fridge closed a bit harder than she needed to.
"Oh!" Toriel turned around, surprised, but she didn't chastise her, "are you two having a little afternoon snack? I was about to start baking a pie!"
The lizard stiffened as Kris glared at her. She wasn't exactly a great liar, and the fact that Kris had been so vague in their instructions meant she didn't even know what she was lying about.
"Ah, y-yeah. We're just..."
"...upstairs," Kris said.
"Gonna go upstairs!" Susie smiled wide, nervously.
"Was there nothing good on TV?" Toriel asked.
"Nahhh... plus, we kinda, uh, wanted to..."
"...work on the group project."
"Play some games on the computer!"
They both spoke at the same time.
Kris sighed, disappointed, as Toriel shot them both an unconvinced stare.
"Uh-huh..." she said, before rolling her eyes and smiling, "well, as long as you actually do work on it, there's no issue with taking a little break now and then."
"R-right? So, if you don't mind."
"Of course. Have fun, kids! I'll call you down when the pie is ready," Toriel giggled, shaking her head, "oh, and Susie? Do try to keep Kris busy? Maybe that way the pie will have time to chill before they attack it for once..."
"Heheh, that's the plan, Ms. Toriel."
Tired of their banter, Kris pulled Susie by the jacket, hurrying out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
"Alright, alright, I'm going, geez!" Susie complained, following them, bottle of soda in hand, "now, gonna tell me your plan already or you gonna keep being a drama queen?"
"...soon," they said, rushing to their bedroom, "...put these here," they said, throwing the bag of snacks on their bed and carefully placing the glasses down on the nightstand.
"I swear to the Angel, Kris," she groaned as she put the grape soda beside the glasses, "if you just wanted to have an indoor picnic...!"
"...just wait. god..." the human huffed, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her out of the room, stopping right in front of a locked door.
"...your mother's room?" Susie asked, suddenly nervous, "doesn't she, uhh, keep it locked...?"
"...yep," Kris answered, grabbing her hand and checking out her fingers.
"...alright, weirdo, what the hell are you doing?"
Kris didn't answer. When they found a claw they were satisfied with, they grabbed her finger and jammed it in the lock.
"Whu—?!" Susie gasped indignantly as Kris used her claw as a lockpick, fiddling with it until the door clicked open.
"...ta-da...!"
"..." Susie stared down at them, baffled, "...y'know what? I should just kick your ass right now."
"...later," dismissed Kris, "...now, keep watch," they said as they sneaked inside the forbidden bedroom.
"As if..." she grumbled, shoving her hands in her jacket's pockets, wandering off.
If Kris was just going to sneak around without her, Susie might as well have some fun herself.
The two of them hardly ever stayed up in their room, usually hanging out in the kitchen or the living room, and even when they did, Susie never really got the chance to explore the upper floor.
Not that there was much to see up there. A potted cactus, a mirror, a cabinet...
Susie opened a drawer, expecting to find one of Kris's old gaming consoles or some of Toriel's knickknacks, but instead...
"Oooooohohohoho my Goooood...!!" Susie laughed, pushing a box of used crayons aside and picking up a book in her claws:
'How to Draw Dragons', an instructional drawing guide with an illustration of a busty lizard monster in skimpy clothing on the cover.
"Oh, man, I am so gonna grill the freak's ass about this later," she snickered to herself, shoving the book in her jacket's pocket.
Kris, meanwhile, dug through their mother's dresser, looking for their prize.
They did not find it immediately, though they did find their mother's secret chocolate stash, taking a bar and sneaking it in their back pocket.
They barely ever went into this room, the last time they had free access to it was when they were still a child, before their mother found out about their chocolate stealing tendency.
It must be somewhere in here, however.
Kris knew about their mother's habits, and they had already checked every nook and cranny downstairs. It had to be in here!
Just as they were about to give up, the sunlight coming from the window reflected off of something, the glint catching their eyes
Kris crouched down, shoving a hand under the nightstand and...
Jackpot.
An almost full bottle of the finest (they guessed) dry red wine one could get in Hometown.
Shoving the bottle under their sweater, Kris checked to make sure nothing was amiss in the room before scurrying back to their own bedroom, finding Susie lounging on their bed, eating a handful of cheese snacks and scrolling through her phone.
"...thanks for keeping watch," Kris remarked sarcastically, closing the door behind them.
"You're welcome, nerd," Susie greeted them, not taking her eyes off the screen, "so, didja find whatever it is you were looking for?"
The human smiled, casually approaching the nightstand and placing the pilfered chocolate bar on the nightstand.
"...that's it?" Susie raised an eyebrow, "your big plan was just stealing a fucking chocolate bar??"
Their smile widening, Kris put up a finger, telling her to wait as they took the stolen wine bottle out from under their sweater and put it next to the glasses.
Susie's eyes widened immediately as she shot to her feet.
"Duuuuuuuude..!!"
Kris chuckled. "...knew she had to keep it somewhere in her room..."
"Isn't your mom going to be, like, super pissed if she finds us with this?" she asked, though her smile betrayed her excitement at the idea.
"...she won't find out," Kris pointed at the grape soda and then at the open bag of cheese snacks, "...that looks like wine, and... those smell a lot, so... she won't smell the alcohol."
"Damn, you really thought of everything, huh?" Susie was mildly impressed. Was this something they were used to doing?
The human crossed their arms smugly. "...i'm a genius."
"Hell yeah, you are!" she chuckled, grabbing a glass, "you do this shit often?"
"...all the time," Kris lied, uncorking the bottle with their teeth, "...just be quiet. kitchen's right below us."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," she rolled her eyes as she shoved her glass towards Kris, watching as they half filled it with the forbidden drink, "so, this shit's basically, like, alcoholic grape juice, right?"
"...basically, yeah," they agreed, pouring a glass for themself, "...cheers."
They clinked their glasses together and Susie took a big swig... right before spitting most of it back into her glass.
"Eugh...! This doesn't taste like grapes at all!"
Kris raised an eyebrow behind their bangs, taking a sip themself. As soon as the liquid touched their tongue, they held back a grimace. It was bitter and not sweet at all. How did their mom even drink this stuff??
"...you gotta hold it in your mouth a bit. before swallowing," Kris guessed. That's what they'd seen their mom do, after all.
"Urgh..." she grimaced, but did as she was told, "I guess it isn't that bad. So, when do we start getting buzzed?"
"...you've never actually drank alcohol, huh?" they guessed, looking at the way Susie sloshed the wine around in her glass.
"O-of course I have!" Susie lied, "just not this fancy stuff," she grumbled, shooting back all of the remaining wine and trying not to shudder at the taste.
Kris rolled their eyes, drinking the rest of their glass as well before staring her right in the eyes.
The two of them began laughing.
It wasn't really funny at all, but the feeling of doing something they shouldn't plus the warmth beginning to spread in their chests just made it really hard not to laugh.
After Kris filled their glasses again – fully, this time – they sat on the bed, all up against Susie. Her scales always felt cold to the touch and, in this heat, her touch was a godsend.
"...take off your jacket," they requested bluntly.
"What, half a glass of wine and you already want to take my clothes off?" Susie teased, grinning into her glass as Kris choked on their wine.
"...you know that's not what i—" they sighed, taking a drink, "...i'm hot..."
"Yeah, you are," she said without thinking, only noticing the words that came out of her mouth as she was halfway through another large sip. Susie almost spat her drink as she looked at Kris, their big, red eyes staring at her through their bangs, wide with surprise.
"W-wait, that's not—" she tried to salvage the situation, but Kris was already laughing at her, biting into their own hand to try and stifle it, "urgh, whatever..."
Deciding that she was already warm enough due to the weather and the heat in her chest, Susie humored the human, taking her jacket off and throwing it on top of their head.
"This what you wanted, freak?"
"...mhm..." they hummed as they threw the jacket on the bed and leaned against her, pressing their cheek against her arm.
It felt so warm.
Susie groaned internally. The two of them were physically close often. That wasn't what was bothering her. But the way Kris was acting today... she wasn't sure if it was the heat, the alcohol, or... if it was all in her head.
"Hey, so..." she spoke up.
"...hm?" Kris merely snuggled up closer to her, cooling off against her scales as they sipped their wine.
"So..." Susie took a large gulp from her glass, steeling herself. She was never good at serious conversations. "I know you're not like, a boy or a girl, but... what are you into?"
Kris pulled back, studying her face.
"...why?"
She could feel the scales on her cheeks heating up.
"What, I can't be curious?" she bared her teeth in irritation, "I'm just asking, damn..."
Kris stared at her. They could tell there was something bringing this on, but they couldn't tell what it was. Still, it didn't hurt to answer.
"...both... i guess?" they shrugged, "...anyone. if... if someone looks good, they look good."
"Hm..." Susie didn't look at them, focusing instead on staring at her glass. Did they think she looked good?
"...and you?"
"Me...?" she glanced over them, thinking. Their red eyes peeked from under their damp bangs, their unreadable expression that used to piss her off so much now entrancing her, their sweaty, olive skin glistening in the sunlight.
Kris looked good, in her eyes at least.
"Guess I never really thought about it too much..." she said, looking away. That was a train of thought she couldn't pursue.
"...hm," they didn't have much to say to that.
"We... we are friends, right?" she asked, suddenly.
"...yeah. i'd say we are," Kris kept staring at her. Susie was usually so easy to read, but they couldn't tell what she was thinking at all right now.
Susie didn't tend to go for the more... emotional talks. To be fair, neither did Kris, but it was still unusual for her to be so... open.
"You're, like... my best friend, dude," she said. Kris felt like they knew that already, but she would never admit it out loud. Maybe she was already drunk?
"...you're my best friend too," they said, finishing off the glass and putting it up on the nightstand. Maybe they should ease up on the drinking for a bit. "...what's up, suz...?"
"I dunno..." Susie sighed, following Kris's lead and putting her own empty glass down, "just thinking, I guess..."
Kris placed a hand on top of hers, looking up at Susie with a concerned frown. "...careful... you're not used to doing that...!"
"Oh, fuck off!!" she snorted, shoving their face away with her hand, Kris chuckling into her palm.
The two of them stared at each other for a second before they both broke down in laughter again.
Susie had never laughed so hard before, and she was sure Kris hadn't either. It wasn't even that funny, but it was just so easy to just... let go and laugh around them.
"S-see?" she chuckled, wiping a tear from her eye, "that's the shit I'm talking about! It's just... so easy, you know?"
"...wh-what...?" they asked, trying to catch their breath.
"Just... being around you. It's like... I dunno, man. It's fun. Like, fuck, it's a great day outside. We should be out there, fucking shit up, doing something stupid – anything!" she sighed, scratching her head, "but... just being with you is... enough. I have fun without even trying..."
Kris stared at her, stunned, feeling their own cheeks redden.
"That's what I like about you, man. I don't gotta try around you. I don't gotta put up a mask, y'know? Pretend I'm something I'm not or that I'm stronger than I am. I can just... be me. And that's nice, y'know?"
They gulped. Kris knew very well the feeling she was talking about. That's how they felt about her, after all.
"...i... yeah," they said, "...i get it..."
"You do?" she asked in a small voice, so uncharacteristic of her.
"...everyone... always tells me i'm weird," they started, "...and yeah, i am, but. it's always been just... an excuse, y'know?"
Susie listened intently.
"...people never... cared to see past that. most people don't want to be friends with the weird human kid..." Kris smiled sadly, "...but... you're not like that. you're just as weird as me. i can be weird around you. i... i can be myself, too..."
The lizard looked at them, smiling fondly, before she punched their shoulder.
"I resent being called 'as weird as you', dweeb."
Kris laughed.
"...okay, okay, i meant... i can be weird and you won't judge me for it..."
"Of course not," Susie grinned, "got plenty of other stuff I could be judging you for."
"...pfft... no you don't. i know how you live."
"Yeah?" she smirked, "I'm judging you so hard right now, dude."
"...i didn't even do anything. the hell are you even judging?"
"Oh, I dunno..." she leaned in closer, blowing air through her nostrils, teeth bared, "your taste in women, maybe?"
Kris froze.
"...my... what...?"
Susie leaned even closer, not taking her eyes off of them as her hand sneaked past, grabbing the book from inside her discarded jacket.
The human's eyes widened and they blanched.
"This is what you're into, huh?" she looking at the cover, "busty lizard girls?"
"...h-hey, give that back...!!" Kris tried to snatch the book from her, but Susie kept them at bay with a single hand.
"Geez, this shit's gonna give you some unrealistic expectations, Kris," she teased, "look at this waist! Where the hell are her organs??"
"...th-th-that's my brother's...!" they stammered, face red.
"Really? Why didn't he take it to college, then?"
"..." Kris looked away.
"What, did you steal it from him?"
"... ... ..." they could hear their heartbeat in their ears.
"...did you just need some jerk off material?" she whispered, her breath surprisingly hot against their ear.
"...sh-shut up...!!" they pushed Susie away, finally snatching the book away, hiding their burning face from her.
"Really, dude," Susie snickered, "that way you won't even be able to get hard when you see a real woman. Or wet. Or... whatever the hell you got down there."
"...wh-what would you even know about... th-that kind of stuff...?" Kris muttered in their sweater, refusing to even look her way, eyes shut behind their bangs.
They could hear Susie pouring herself another glass.
"Well, I know that's not what a woman's body looks like, that's for sure."
"...as if you have ever seen a naked woman either..."
"Dude," Susie let out a deep sigh, the sound of fabric rustling hitting their ears before it hit their face, "I am a woman."
Kris pulled the fabric – Susie's shirt – off of their face, and their eyes almost jumped out of their skull as they came face-to-face with a shirtless Susie holding a glass of wine, nothing but a white sports bra covering her chest.
"See?" she grinned, despite her own embarrassment, taking a sip of her drink. Susie just wanted to tease Kris, but the way they looked at her made her think it wasn't such a good idea after all. "The real deal doesn't really look like your anime bullshit, right?"
"..." the human avoided her gaze, pouring a glass for themself as well and immediately taking a gulp, preferring to deal with the warmth in their chest from the alcohol than the warmth in their cheeks from looking at their friend like that. "...yeah. your boobs are small."
"NO ONE HAS BOOBS THAT BIG IN REAL LIFE, DUMBASS!!" Susie growled, covering her chest.
Kris snorted. Susie could tease them all she wanted, but she really couldn't handle being teased back.
They let their eyes wander. Kris had to admit that... Susie looked really good. Better than the fake looking sultry dragons in Asriel's book. Better than the real looking monsters in the videos they watched late at night on their phone, when they let their mind and hands wander.
Her stomach was toned, muscular. There wasn't any part of her body that wasn't, really. Kris knew she was strong, fit; they had felt it before. But actually getting to see it for themself, her chiseled abs, the curves she kept hidden under her jacket and baggy jeans... it made them feel...
"...see something you like, nerd?" Susie asked, cracking voice betraying her nerves despite her shaky grin.
...it made them feel so wrong.
Susie was hot, and Kris felt bad for even thinking about their friend like that.
"...yeah," Kris replied, almost automatically.
Susie froze, suddenly hyper aware of the way Kris was eating her alive with their eyes.
"A-alright, enough of that...!" she muttered, embarrassment finally winning over, "gimme back my shirt."
"...nuh-uh," they pulled her shirt under them, sitting on top of it.
"Fuck you mean 'nuh-uh'?? It's my shirt, dude!"
"...you took it off. now deal with it," they said simply, drinking their wine as if that made any sense whatsoever.
"You...!" Susie glowered at them, putting her glass down and crawling over to the human, "that's it. Take off your dumb sweater!"
"...two glasses of wine and you already want to take my clothes off?" Kris teased, throwing her words back at her, but they still put their glass down on the floor, already foreseeing a scuffle.
"I'm not gonna be the only one half-naked, dipshit! Lose the sweater!" she growled, grabbing at the bottom of the garment.
"...no...!" they grabbed at her hands, trying to prevent her from undressing them, "...what the hell??"
"You're the one complaining about the heat anyway!"
"...doesn't mean i wanna take my clothes off...!"
"Oh, but I have to take mine off??"
"...you took it off yourself...??"
"You asked me to!!"
"...your jacket...!!"
"So that's two pieces of clothing you owe me now!" Susie pushed them down, pinning their hands beside their head, "at least take the fucking sweater off!"
Kris grunted, struggling against her strength as Susie straddled their thighs.
Heat rose to their face as they noticed the position they were in, but it was impossible to escape.
They knew trying to beat Susie at a contest of raw strength was a lost cause, so they had to resort to the only thing that had never failed them:
Flirting.
"...you want to see me naked that bad...?"
"YES!!"
.
..
...
"...huh?"