Chapter Text
Today marked the first-ever Reclamation Day in Vault-Tec history.
Shauna buzzed with nervous energy; the room was stocked full of it. Twelve of the same girls she’d known her whole life whispered and murmured around her. They all fidgeted, either rocking back and forth on their feet or picking at their fingernails. She swore that she could hear their hearts beating around her. This was the day they’d been preparing for their entire lives. It'd change the world forever.
“Okay, girls, settle down, find a seat. Let's get this show on the road,” Ben said as one of the guards rolled in a television from the recreation zone. “I know we’re all eager to see who will be surveying the damage up above, but we all have to watch.”
The metal room echoed their collective groans. Enduring eighteen years of Vault-Tec informational videos had put a sour taste in their mouths, especially Shauna's. Day after day, month after month, their release date kept getting pushed back. Not only did Reclamation Day keep getting postponed, but their rations were slowly being reduced to nothing. She saw it in all of them, how their minds and bodies had deteriorated. Shauna was certain that even their Trusted Adult Figure had grown weary of his employers.
Ben wasn’t much of a Trusted Adult Figure at all; none of the girls had much respect for him, especially not Shauna. He took orders from Vault-Tec like a dog, never advocating for himself or anyone else, for that matter. He turned his head too many times at their mistreatment for Shauna to hold any sympathy.
The girls of Vault 97 were starving animals, and Reclamation Day was their only hope for salvation. Tension between everyone was at an all-time high— they’d been waiting for far too long. There was no way of truly knowing what the Earth had been reduced to in the past 200 years. Vault-Tec training videos briefly mentioned irradiated monsters and treacherous terrain. They spoke of a barren wasteland where all of humanity ceased to exist, and Vault 97 was tasked with rebuilding society.
Leaving first was a death sentence; nobody had stepped in or out of the vault since The Great War. But one of them had to do it, be the first one out, the doomed leader.
Shauna needed it to be Jackie.
Her pulse raced at the thought of Jackie saying her farewells to Shauna, only to end up as dust in the wasteland. When she was scared and alone up there, Jackie would realize that popularity was only useful in their little ecosystem in the vault. Her journal was filled with ideas of playing the mourning best friend, and what exactly she could get away with while Jackie was out playing hero. She might even volunteer as the second surveyor after Jackie inevitably failed her mission.
Her naivety would be ripped out right before her eyes as she saw how she couldn’t survive without Shauna.
Months prior, Shauna had decided to hack into the terminal to add Jackie’s name to the pool, up to the maximum of 499 entries. She also added Mari’s name an extra ten times, but that was neither here nor there.
Shauna was brought back to reality as Jackie bounced her foot up and down next to her on their shared metal bench.
“Who do you think it’ll be, Shauna?” Jackie loudly whispered into her ear, “I hope it’s not Allie, we would definitely be screwed.”
It was unbelievable how Jackie had the gall to gossip while the whole room sat on the edge of their seats. She needed to be taught a lesson, and Shauna was about to teach her a valuable one.
She chose not to respond and focused her attention on the holotape.
Good Morning, residents of Vault 97!
This is a prerecorded message from your Vault-Tec crew to be played by your Trusted Adult Figure on Reclamation Day.
Today is a historic day! After living eighteen years in security and comfort provided by Vault-Tec, you will now move into phase three of your mission, Reclamation.
The room erupted in collective groans once again. That holotape was outdated— they’d pushed back their release date for over four years. Everyone was over twenty years old.
In celebration of your progression to productive members of society, one member of your group will be chosen to carry out the Surface Assessment Trial.
This very S.P.E.C.I.A.L. person will be tasked with determining whether the surface is viable for Vault 97’s population.
This will define the future. Your survival depends on your chosen vault dweller.
Your Trusted Adult Figure will now proceed with the name lottery.
Remember, your Overseer loves you. Vault-Tec loves you. And everything you do... is for the good of humanity.
The video ends with a chime, and the room stands still.
“I’ll just…” Ben trails off as he types furiously into his terminal. Shauna unconsciously clenched her fists until she felt Jackie’s warm hand on her own.
“It’ll be okay, Shauna. I know you’re nervous, but I made sure that the two of us wouldn’t be chosen.” Shauna’s breath stuttered as she whipped her head over.
“What did you do?” She whisper-shouts, her cool mask of indifference wiped away with intense anger. Why hadn’t she told her that she messed with the draw? Jackie looked back at her with wide eyes, confused at Shauna’s sudden mood swing. She knew that Jackie was oblivious when it came to terminals; it made no sense at all.
“Well, I bargained with Ben to take our names out, Shauna. Why are you so upset?” Jackie looks at her with scrunched eyebrows and laces their fingers together in her lap, “I did it for us.”
Fuck, she should’ve checked the statistics again before the assembly. Of course Jackie would abuse her popular-girl privileges to keep them from going to the surface! Shauna should’ve seen this coming. Jackie needed to have control over everything in her life after all.
Dread steadily fills her heart; months and months of meticulous planning had been thrown out the window just like that. Her only opportunity for getting rid of Jackie forever was gone.
“T-thanks, Jax.” She decided to keep her response at that; anything more, and Jackie would become suspicious.
She gave Shauna a weird look out of the corner of her eye. Jackie must already be suspicious, then. She made a mental note that there would have to be some damage control later tonight, if she didn’t strangle Jackie beforehand. The lip she was worrying between her teeth began to bleed.
Ben continued to fiddle with the terminal until a piece of paper slowly emerged from the printer. He seemed completely shocked by the name displayed on it, only recovering after Taissa cleared her throat with a cough.
“Your champion of the surface is… Jackie Taylor.”
All the air was suddenly sucked out of the room; nobody moved a single inch. Shauna’s heart was jackhammering in her chest, and her ears were ringing like somebody had set off a pulse mine. Her plan actually fucking worked, it was unbelievable! So much for Jackie getting their names removed.
She doesn’t quite understand the unexpected deep sinking in her chest, dragging her straight through the floor.
Moments pass, she can’t be sure how long until Jackie’s chair scrapes the floor behind her, and Shauna is suddenly ripped back to reality. They lock eyes, Jackie fighting tears while Shauna looks defeated and confused. Her best friend just got sentenced to death, and it was by her own hands. Tremendous guilt weighed down on her, and she felt her breakfast about to come back up.
Jackie breaks her gaze from Shauna’s and slowly approaches the front of the room. Shauna notes how she squares her shoulders before she reaches the podium, always the picture of strength, even if it was all a lie. Ever since they shared the same sandbox, Jackie had always been excellent at putting on a show, scraping her knee, and smiling through the tears.
Jackie’s chest fell and rose deeply as she seemed to collect her thoughts.
Everyone was waiting with bated breath for what she had to say, the chosen one.
“I-I know the responsibility of being chosen to walk the surface. I promise to try my hardest. The lack of resources has taken a toll on all of you, a-and I’ll make it my priority to bring salvation to this vault.”
She takes another deep breath, pointedly not making eye contact with Shauna as she makes her final statement. Her smile was the fakest that Shauna had ever seen.
“This is why Shauna has volunteered to accompany me on my journey!”
Shauna felt that if her heart kept beating at the rate that it was, she would go into cardiac arrest. She would roll over and die in this moment if she could. Absolutely everything was blowing up in her face; Jackie just signed her death warrant right back at her.
“Ah, protocol states only one of you girls is supposed to go on this mission,” Ben protests weakly, folding over the paper with Jackie’s name on it. The guards stationed at the door shared nervous glances, unsure if they should intervene. Ben was hardly an authority figure; he merely existed to relay Vault-Tec orders and report on their behavior. Shauna knew that his opinion would be brushed aside.
“Well, it doesn’t say anything about an extra volunteer, does it? I mean, really, what's the harm in teamwork?” Jackie trails off in nervous laughter, purposefully not looking at Shauna’s empty expression.
Shauna was well aware that she couldn’t challenge Jackie’s proclamation. Everyone present understood that Jackie lacked the necessary survival skills, and Shauna was always there to help her along. On top of this, she’d been the one to sabotage Jackie in the first place; she couldn’t escape this karma.
“I guess you’re right…” Shauna would kill that bastard if she had the chance; he represented everything she hated. Ben was the epitome of meek. “Shauna, come on up to the podium.”
She recognizes her hypocrisy right as she walks to the podium, a lamb to the slaughter. She was the meekest of them all, taking her place right in Jackie’s shadow, as per usual. A few sympathetic glances were thrown her way from the audience. She spared a glance at Lottie, who looked about as sick as Shauna felt.
“I guess this concludes this meeting. Girls, departure for the surface will occur in two hours. I want you to pack all of your essentials, and then I’ll meet you in the armory after you’re done,” Ben pauses, glancing between the two of them with a complicated look. “Say your goodbyes, you won’t be allowed to return to the vault until the two weeks have passed.”
Once they both nod in acknowledgement, Ben leaves the room with the guards to give the group privacy. Shauna avoids looking at Jackie completely and moves to talk to anyone else. Her head was a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode.
Jackie grips her arm lightly before she can escape, “Shauna, I-I’m so sorry. I just panicked and—”
She rips her arm out of the grip, finally making eye contact. They were filled with fear, a few tears spilling onto her cheeks. Shauna felt even more nauseous, unfamiliar emotions bubbling in her throat. How could she be upset at Jackie when she was the one who sent her to die in the first place?
“I get why you did it,” admits Shauna. She knew that Jackie needed someone to drag down to hell with her. She probably felt that she was doing Shauna a service. For whom was Shauna without Jackie? “Just let me have some time alone before we leave, okay? We’re going to be stuck with each other for two weeks.” Shauna attempts a joke, which falls flat due to the tension between them. Her brain was operating on autopilot, and Jackie’s tearful expression wasn’t helping her think any more clearly.
Jackie just nods and wraps her in a long, stifling hug. Despite her churned insides, the body pressed into her front felt safe; it gave some semblance of hope that they might survive together. This suicide mission may be exactly what they need to fix their relationship, that is, if Shauna doesn’t decide to use her as target practice.
The pair separates and makes their rounds to each girl, saying their goodbyes and promising their possessions to different friends if they don’t make it back. Van would get her holotape collection, and Nat called dibs on her comic books. They all offered weak words of encouragement, thankful that they weren’t chosen first, but anxious that they actually wouldn’t return.
“I’m worried for you,” Taissa says, taking Shauna’s hands in her own, squeezing them tightly.
“I’ll be okay, Tai. I scored the highest overall in survival training every single year. You should just be glad you weren’t chosen. You get to stay with Van.”
“It’s not that, it’s Jackie,” Taissa’s voice lowers as she leans into Shauna, conspiratorially. “She’s going to drag you down, in more ways than one. If you don’t make it back with her, nobody will blame you.”
Shauna can’t hide the shock on her face at Taissa’s double meaning. It was almost impossible to believe that someone else could acknowledge her own observations of Jackie. Taissa’s validation felt so sickeningly sweet. Shauna really was going to throw up.
“I’ve got it handled, Tai.” She moved as quickly as she could away from her, practically running to the door. Shauna had no time to notice Jackie staring daggers at the back of Taissa’s head as she fled.
Shauna wasn’t sure how much time had passed before she heard her door unlock after removing all contents from her stomach and subsequently lying on the cold floor. She recognized Jackie’s gait almost immediately.
“Shipman. It’s time to go, Ben is waiting for us. You haven’t even packed anything…”
“Why did he draw your name?” Shauna’s voice coming from the bathroom floor made Jackie squeal and drop whatever she was holding with a loud crack.
“Shauna! My Pip-Boy!” Jackie falls to her knees to pick up the glass shards scattered across the floor. There was a very limited number of Pip-Boys in the vault, and only Ben had access to them. Jackie wouldn’t be able to get her hands on one easily.
Shauna inspected the broken Pip-Boy; the screen was entirely black, but it still seemed to be functioning. She would need her tool set to get it back together. “I can fix this, don’t freak out.”
When she finally looked up from the screen, her eyes tracked the full lip caught between Jackie’s perfect teeth. She was worrying it so much that Shauna was afraid it might start bleeding like her own had.
“Hey, you’re doing that thing,” Shauna says, wrapping her hand around Jackie’s soft fingers. The lip was released immediately, and her saliva made her lips glow even pinker. Everything about her was soft, maybe that's why she was comforting her, even now. “I told you I can fix it, okay? There’s nothing to be so upset over, I’ll take care of it.”
“I feel guilty.” Shauna’s stare was blank. “For volunteering you without asking, I mean. I should have asked you first. It’s eating me up. I just… I just want us to be okay, Shauna. I want to make it up to you, but,” she waves her arm at the mess scattered on the floor, “you’re always the one picking up after me. I want to take care of you for once.” She lets out a humorless chuckle and plops her butt down on the floor, which reminds Shauna of a petulant toddler.
“We’ve always been a team. I like taking care of you, Jackie.” The honesty of that statement almost made her throw her head back into the toilet for round two. She wouldn’t give her whole hand away, though. She was certain Jackie was lying through her teeth about feeling guilty for volunteering her. “Can we just forget it and move on? We’ll have much more to worry about when we’re up there. I’ll have this Pip-Boy ready to go in a second.”
Jackie looked at her with scrunched eyebrows, like she wasn’t ready to drop the subject. Shauna was afraid she’d shove her hand down her throat and drag out the truth. Her perfect manicure inching past tongue and teeth to reveal her aching, beating heart. Jackie’s soft hands caressing that bloody, throbbing organ in her chest. She tore herself from that train of thought immediately.
“Fine. I made you a packing list.” A paper with loopy handwriting is shoved in her face. “I’ll meet you in the armory. We’re already behind schedule.”
Shauna listens to Jackie’s footsteps as she vacates the room, picking up the paper and tracing its edges.
Less than an hour ago, she was prepared to watch her best friend leave the vault and never see her again. Now, the idea of Jackie dying up there alone because of what she’d done to her felt somewhat repulsive. She couldn’t recognize who she was, and it felt like emotional whiplash. Every negative thought about Jackie was getting scrambled with the innate desire to worship the ground she walked on. Fuck that stupid packing list.
She made her mind up to try and protect Jackie as best she could out there, as penance for having her name be drawn. But Shauna would be the one to save her friends; she would be the one in the spotlight.
The Pip-Boy was a relatively easy fix. All of her work with terminals translated seamlessly to the wearable version. The only part that was beyond repair was the radiation detection function; it would be impossible to find a replacement Geiger counter in the vault. Jackie would have to make do without it.
Packing her bag was a seamless affair; the tools, tent, purified water, food, and blanket fit right on top of her journal. The only other personal item she’d permitted herself to bring was the shank she’d been carefully sharpening from a piece of sheet metal. The ration situation in the vault had pushed her to take some precautions. She understood the tendencies of starving animals.
With that, she made her way over to the armory, taking her place standing shoulder to shoulder with Jackie in front of Ben. She silently handed over the fixed Pip-Boy, earning a soft smile from her best friend. It sent a familiar tingling down her spine that she preferred not to think about.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Shauna.” Ben shot her an annoyed glare and placed a 10mm pistol in front of the pair.
“Eat me,” Shauna shot back, earning a sharp elbow to her ribs from Jackie. Shauna was more confused by this than angry. She should be just as mad at Ben right now. Jackie put on her best please be nice, Shauna face, and she was forced to concede. “Sorry.”
“I’m only permitted to give you one pistol with a limited bullet supply. And before you pitch a fit, Shauna,” Shauna only glared at him but let him continue speaking, “I’m going to give you extra ammunition, because I’m sure you’re going to need it. On top of this, between you two, I’m entrusting Jackie to carry the weapon.”
“What are all of the other guns here for, anyway? I should have it. I’m a way better shot, Ben. No offense, Jackie,” Shauna protests. She wasn’t even entirely sure if that was true, but she couldn’t protect both of them without a weapon.
“You’re too quick-tempered, Shauna.” His honesty felt like a slap in the face. “Jackie’s agreeableness score eclipses yours by almost thirty points. Now, I can’t make Jackie in charge of the gun while you’re up there, but I think it’s in both of your best interests. I’m thankful you’re going up there with her, Shauna, I really am, but you’re going to have to rely on each other.”
She wanted to be upset and disagree with him, but she understood his point. Ben had been tasked with separating the girls when they got into physical altercations; Shauna was his most repeat offender. She would acquiesce to the gun, but only because she had her shank tucked neatly in her jumpsuit. If she really needed to, she could convince Jackie to give the gun to her on the surface.
“Okay, I get it. Jackie will carry the gun. Anything else? We’re losing daylight as we speak.” She was already annoyed at Ben, and admitting that he was right wasn’t helping her mood.
“One last thing,” he lowered his voice to a soft whisper, so the two of them had to lean closer to listen. “I told Jackie earlier, and I can’t prove it yet, but it seems like there’s someone trying to sabotage you two.”
Shauna’s eyebrows instantly scrunched together. “What do you mean?”
“Shauna, Ben did take my name out of the pool,” Jackie says, looking Shauna straight in the eye. “He did what I asked him to do, but someone added it back in 499 times.”
She stayed silent for a moment, staring back dumbly. There was no way they knew it was her; she had done everything to cover her tracks. Shauna had to remain calm and not give herself away; they were confiding in her, not accusing her.
“Who would do that?” Her mouth felt like sandpaper as she spat the words out. The guilt that was buried deep in her chest started to throb with her beating heart.
“I can’t tell, but I’m going to do some digging in the terminal logs. I just wanted to give you two a heads up, if you make it back.”
“If?” Both Jackie’s and Shauna’s voices rose to such a high volume that Ben had to take a step back. Shauna knew that he’d made the right choice in giving Jackie the gun, as she just imagined shooting him right between the eyebrows.
“When! When, not if.” He corrected himself and cleared his throat, “Okay, you two. It’s time to go. Follow me to the vault door.”
Ben made himself scarce, leaving Jackie and Shauna alone in a room steadily filling with tension. Jackie made the first move, reaching for the gun holster and obviously struggling with the belt.
“C’mere,” Shauna says, moving closer and reaching her hands behind Jackie’s waist. Her body heat is almost as distracting as the soft breaths on her face. She fumbles around for a second before tightening the holster snug to her body, covertly taking deep breaths to smell more of Jackie’s perfume. She wanted to drink this moment in as much as she could, before they faced the reality of the wasteland.
As Jackie interlocked her hands behind Shauna’s head and rested her arms on her shoulders, she realized that she was doing the same thing. She purposefully took her time, latching its straps with unnecessary precision. Jackie’s breath hitched when her fingers accidentally slipped and grazed her front, only lightly touching her jumpsuit.
Shauna let out a mumbled, “Sorry,” apologizing for more than Jackie would ever know.
“It’s okay,” Jackie’s voice was deeper than usual; she’d only heard that pitch when she was on the cusp of sleep. It made her want to hear it over and over again.
“I don’t know who’d want to sabotage me, Shauna. But when I thought about us being separated, that tore me apart. I-I'm really sorry I volunteered you, seriously. But,” Jackie paused and Shauna stopped distractedly fussing with the holster to look into Jackie’s eyes. They were so wide, she felt that she would get lost in them if she wasn’t careful. “But I can’t live without you.”
She stared emotionless back at her. Of course, she couldn’t survive without her; that’s the whole reason Shauna was going to the surface with her. She was stronger, faster, and far more prepared. But that’s not what Jackie said; she said she couldn’t live without her.
“Okay.” It was the only word that she could utter. She was confused about where this charged moment was leading their dynamic. It was almost as if Jackie had crossed an unspoken boundary, and Shauna wasn’t sure how to handle it.
“Okay?” Jackie’s tone gave the impression she’d been insulted by Shauna’s response, but she wasn’t equipped to respond any differently.
“Yeah,” Shauna nodded at her slowly, “you can’t live without me. I’ll be there to keep you safe, don’t worry.”
A minute goes by until Jackie huffs and unclasps her hands behind Shauna’s head to lightly push her away. “Whatever, Shauna. Thanks for fixing my holster.” She shoves the pistol in her belt and purposefully evades any more heated eye contact. “Let's go.”
Shauna stands dumbfounded for a moment before swiping another Pip-Boy for herself and following Jackie.