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She didn’t want to. She really didn’t. But he was the only person on her mind for the past few days. And he just can’t seem to go away.
Of course she hated him. She really did. Like when he was pestering her in math class. Or when he owed her money and didn’t pay her back. He insisted he did.
He got on her nerves, yes, but now he's even more annoying. Now he's annoying her when he's not even there.
Bella rolled over to her side. She has been doomscrolling for the last 2 hours. She couldn’t focus on studying and now she couldn’t even focus on her phone.
He used to be such a twink in 6th grade. He still is now, but something about him changed. Or maybe Bella just needs glasses.
He didn’t even change. He still scrolled on reddit in the middle of class. He still ate those trader joe's takis without a care in the world. Even after that time when she threw them in the trash in front of his face.
His hair looked like a mop in 6th grade. And 7th. The way he swept it back whenever it got in his eyes. The way he walked around with his stupid Nokia phone.
Ugh.. why am I like this? Just because he’s a pretty face now? After he cut his hair..
Bella was in too deep. She used to hate him for copying her Essentials hoodie. She vowed she would never wear it again. But now every time she sees it sitting in her closet it just reminds her of him more. His hair is a light shade of brown under the sun. Whenever the sun hits his eyes while he’s daydreaming in class she could see it get brighter. His hair sits in messy tufts on his head now that he cut his hair.
She didn’t know what to do.
She still hated him. She still found him annoying.
But now, it’s different. And everything changed. And she wasn’t sure if she could see him the same now.
***
He stood in front of her, asking the question that Bella used to hate.
“Yo, can I have some gum?” He asked, no shame in his tone. She used to hate that entitled tone in his voice. That shift in tone every time he seemed to mock her. But now whenever he called out her name she felt something shift in her.
He asked again today. She reached into her bag faster than she realized.
She was embarrassed how fast she reacted, but if he had no shame in asking she wouldn't have any either.
She felt around in her bag. Her heart sank.
She remembered Julia took the last one. That day at lunch, she rummaged through her bag and took that last god-forsaken piece of gum.
Putting on an annoyed voice, she said “Get out of my face. I don’t have any.” (Bella actually says this LMAO)
Misha rolled his eyes, but there was a small smirk in the corner of his mouth.
Bella ignored it.
“I’ll bring some tomorrow.” Bella said in a rough voice. Was she being too nice? Would he catch on?
Misha said a small thanks and went back to his seat. No reaction huh..
She tried not to be too disappointed. It was only normal. She had hated him for years, even going so far to say that she hated all Russians. I hate all Russians named Misha!! She yelled in science class, earning her some head turns and strange looks.
She and him established a mutual hate from when they first met. He had no shame in pestering her did he? She was gonna get him back, she assured herself.
But now, not even a year later. She was disappointed in herself. But not really.
She watched him in class. He was sleeping in science today.
Cute.. she thought, I really have no shame huh.. I HAVE SHAME YOU ROACH
From his honey colored hair to the tips of his lashes. Why did he have to be so pretty?
She assured herself over and over that this was just her ovulating or something.
But it stayed. It stayed like a leech refusing to leave.
Why are you so illiterate?? Bella yelled at him before.
You should be able to tell the difference between “they’re,” and “their” by now. I thought you love reading books huh??
7th grade was truly a mythical experience. Bella was practically bullying him with the amount of mockery.
PUT THAT KINDLE AWAY YOU MIDGET, she yelled.
He rolled his eyes.
She swore she would beat him up in 7th grade. Now she swore she would beat him with her love. Truly a corny experience. Teenage love huh? (She actually said this btw)
***
Her phone buzzed. She rolled over, groaning. Picking it up, she unlocked it to see who messaged her. She was half asleep. She was craving Subway again.
The blue discord icon lit up.
Martine: “MISHA’S DATING A GIRL”
Nina: “WHAT”
Nina: “WHO?”
Her phone was bombarded with messages.
Martine: “HE MET HER WHEN HE WENT CAMPING”
What..? He has a girlfriend? She said to herself, hoping that what Martine was saying would turn out to be false.
Bella: “😢” Umm.. try to be nonchalant I guess..
Nina: “Wait, how do you know?”
Bella: “Yes, how do you know?” She silently prayed it wasn’t true.
Martine: “Zohaib said so. He showed me her instagram and she was following Misha.”
Nina: “Bella, you’re cooked.”
Bella turned off her phone. Was this all just a dream?
She nervously checked Misha’s instagram, looking through his followers to find the girl he was apparently dating.
She clicked on that girl's instagram profile. She’s just some typical white girl isn't she?
She sighed. What did he even see in her?
What do I even see in him??
But that question disappeared as quickly as her hate for him.
She rolled over in her bed. Yearning like this is no use now isn’t it?
She sat up in her bed abruptly as she made up her mind. Picking up her old SHSAT books, she decided:
If he could get into Brooklyn Tech then she could too. That way, she could see her friends there. Also a certain someone.
No use crying over spilt milk now hm?
That was the moment she decided; she would get into that school.
She was going to go see him.
That stupid crooked smile. Those annoying eyes. She could even tolerate that insufferable attitude.
She could tolerate him now. More than tolerate. She enjoyed that crooked smile. She enjoys those brown eyes. That snarky tone of his. When he nagged her for gum. When he leaned over and whispered for her to slide the answers.
She knows she’ll miss him.
And she long accepted it.
She just hopes she won’t miss him too much.
EL FIN. Idk what else lol